AN: Oh wow, was this a difficult one to write or what? I'm proud of myself for getting it done so quickly, but it absolutely fried my brain to do it.
I hope you enjoy!
Chapter 11: Love & Monsters
To Rose, it seemed like every time she ended up in Eris' bedroom, there was something completely new to surprise her. This time, it was a hologram projector attached to her ceiling light that created floating images of galaxies in the air around them. She couldn't help but stare, and Eris laughed.
"I can get you set up with one too, if you like. It's easy enough."
"It's just beautiful!"
Sat at her desk under the lights, Eris looked more alien than she ever had done before. The soft pinks and oranges of the nebulae glanced off her cheekbones, almost giving the impression that the glow came from within. Her hair - twisted into a bun at the base of her neck - shimmered, the projections catching the natural highlights. Behind her glasses, her hazel eyes glowed softly. The outfit she'd picked reminded Rose of something that a student at a posh university might wear to classes; fitted black and grey checked trousers and a navy blue woolly jumper, paired with plain black shoes. It was a very human combination, but it somehow made her friend look even more ethereal.
"What are you actually doing over there?" Rose asked, leaning her elbows on her knees where she sat cross legged on the edge of the bed.
Eris wheeled her chair gracefully towards her, handing over a collection of papers.
"When I can't sleep, I draw. And I basically draw whatever pops into my head, no matter what the memory is or when it's from. So I usually end up with tons of loose drawings that I want to add into my diary, but they're from all over my past. I need to organise them so I can put them with the right event."
Rose thumbed through the drawings, impressed by the quality of each piece. Some were tiny, no bigger than a postage stamp, where others took up a whole page.
"What's this one?"
It was some sort of segmented robot, clearly very tall, standing next to a petite dark haired woman wearing what looked like a flowery blouse and dark trousers.
"It's from the time that Dad and I were stuck working with UNIT. He'd only just regenerated and we had to deal with this robot that had gone a bit rogue."
Squinting at the woman, Rose grinned. "Is that you in the picture?"
Eris laughed. "Nah, that's Sarah Jane!"
"No way!"
"Yeah! I'll have to try and find you some photos of us from back then, she had incredible style. Still does"
As Rose looked through the rest of the drawings again, Eris got up and pulled her diary from the shelf. The two of them worked together quietly for a few minutes, Rose handing over a sketch and Eris turning to the right page in her diary to add it in, fastening the papers in place with a paperclip. They had sorted out an old fashioned Cyberman, the robot, a giant diamond patterned snake and a circus clown when the Doctor poked his head around the door frame.
He smiled at the scene before him, his two favourite people in the whole universe sat knee to knee on the bed, poring over the vast range of sketches in shades of black and grey.
"Hey, I'm not interrupting am I?"
Looking up, Eris matched his smile. "Nah, not at all. What's up?"
He looked a little sheepish. "Well…"
"What have you done?" The eye roll and long-suffering tone made Rose giggle.
"I can't seem to find this book that I'm looking for, and you're usually good at finding stuff - fancy giving me a hand?"
Something in the Doctor's eyes made Eris think that he wasn't quite being honest, but that he probably had a very good reason for it.
"Sure."
Rose got up too. "Need me to help?"
The Doctor snorted. "We're more likely to lose you in there as well! I'm sure we'll manage."
Laughing, Rose agreed that he was probably right, and headed back to her own room to phone her mum.
Once they were in the library, the Doctor led Eris towards the section that held original copies of books and manuscripts that they had acquired or been gifted over the years. It was a cosy little reading nook between two shelves, set up with a comfy chair against the wall and a soft orange lantern above. They leant opposite each other, watching each other's expressions in the dim light. Eris broke the silence.
"So what's up?"
"I wanted to make sure you were okay."
She frowned. "Of course I'm okay!"
The Doctor shot a glare at her. "Don't play around, Eris. I know you've had something on your mind for the last week."
"Fine." Her shoulders dropped a little and she wrapped her arms around her stomach. "It called me an abomination."
He sighed. "I told you not to believe a word it said."
"But what if it was right? It seemed to know everything about the crew members, so why wouldnt it know everything about me too?"
Opening his arms, the Doctor let Eris meet him in a hug. Her voice was slightly muffled against his shoulder.
"Everyone else in this damn universe seems to know more about me than I do, and I hate it."
"I know, I know. But we must be getting closer to the truth. I promise I'm doing everything I can to look for answers."
She stood up straight, wiping at her eyes hastily before cracking a smile.
"I think I know the answer already, but you didn't lose anything in here, did you?"
He smiled back. "Nope. But-" And he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small book, offering it to her. "I found something."
Eris took it, and her eyes shone again; this time with happy tears.
"My gift from Herbert! Where was it?"
"It ended up in the 'H' box down in storage. No idea why, or how, but I found it by accident yesterday morning. I thought you'd want it back."
He watched as she opened the cover and reread the inscription on the first page, tracing the familiar swirls of writing.
"Thank you."
"Do you want to keep it here, with the rest of the originals? Or would you rather have it in your room?"
She subconsciously drew the book a little closer to her chest.
"It can go on my shelves. No point in putting my favourite book in the depths of this place, it's worse than the Labyrinth of Crete in here!"
Nudging each other as they walked, they headed back towards the console room, concocting ideas for their next journey.
On a familiarly grey, rainy day in London, Elton Pope trudged his way towards the old library on Macatier Street. He remembered the first time he'd tried to walk there alone, and gone completely the wrong way and got lost. Now he knew the route like the back of his hand. Every Wednesday for nearly three months now, he had gone to that same library and gone down in the same creaky old lift to sit with the same people. His mind wandered, casting back to the first few meetings they'd had.
Mr Skinner - a middle aged man who, upon first meeting, you would assume was a head teacher in a posh school - directing them through a rather complicated looking mind map of evidence.
"To me, the Doctor isn't a man, he's more a collection of archetypes."
Every bubble seemed to branch off into at least ten lines, most of which linked three or four pieces of information. Some of the lines were so curled and convoluted that they didn't seem to have a beginning or an end.
Then the next week it had been Bridget's turn. Her method of presentation was a neatly composed slideshow complete with detailed pictures and clear labelling.
"All these different Doctors come and go, but the single constant factor is this faux police box. It keeps cropping up throughout history."
She was a lovely woman from the north, one who travelled down for the meetings every week without fail. According to the others, she'd never missed a single one.
The week after was Bliss, the youngest of the group and the most creative by far. Her chosen method of explanation was through sculpture; she always said that art was far more eloquent than words.
"What I'm trying to do is sum up the Doctor. What he means to us. What he could represent and what he should represent, and what he never won't represent, sort of thing."
He already knew Ursula's sources - that was how he'd found the group in the first place. The photo on her blog had started everything.
Snapping out of his memories, Elton shut the metal pull-doors to the lift and pressed the down button, feeling a smile grow on his face for the eleven and a half seconds (exactly) that it took to reach the basement. The others were already there, chairs set up in a tight circle in the very centre. Clearly, they had been discussing something very important.
"We should have a name. You know, as a group." Ursula pushed her glasses up her nose.
Bliss nodded. "Names are very important."
Throwing himself down onto the available chair, Elton felt very proud as he contributed his idea.
"What we need is a good strong name, like a team. Something like... London Investigation 'n' Detective Agency. LINDA for short."
Mr Skinner looked a little lost. "Say it again."
"London Investigation 'n' Detective Agency."
"N?"
"Fish 'n' Chips, Rock 'n' Roll. Chaka Demus 'n' Pliers."
Bridget tilted her head to one side. "I like it. It's not too solemn."
"I like the 'n'." Bliss commented. "Feels very modern."
Finally, Mr Skinner came around to it. "We're the men from LINDA."
"And the women."
"LINDA United."
As the others laughed, throwing the name back and forth like it was a tennis ball, Ursula dropped her voice and glanced at Elton.
"Did you think of that on the spot?"
"Nah, I've wanted to use it for years."
Mr Skinner stood, spreading his arms wide. "I give you LINDA."
And together, they cried, "LINDA!"
The next week, there was something different. Bridget brought food with her, a gorgeous homemade lasagne - and it almost started a war.
"Oh my God, that's gorgeous. No, really, wow. Oi, the rest of you, get your hands off!" Ursula had taken the lion's share of the dish and was hoarding it in a corner, coveting the plate lovingly.
And then the week after, Mr Skinner had arrived with a thick wad of papers tucked under one arm. He was a little shy at first.
"I was… well, I was just wondering. I've been writing a novel, you see, and I was thinking… maybe you'd like to hear some."
They all begged him excitedly, and eventually he caved. He was an incredibly good writer, and kept them all on the edge of their seats until the very last line.
"That's the last time you ride the ghost train, Johnny Franzetta. Now say your prayers. To be continued."
There were groans as he put the manuscript back down on the table.
"Oh!"
"You can't leave it there."
There were a couple of weeks before the next major development. Elton had been telling the others about what he'd experienced on Christmas morning, the one just gone.
"So I'm in bed, early in the morning because yeah, it's Christmas, but I'm not doing anything special and I'd rather have a lie in! Anyway, all of a sudden the windows shatter, and I'm surrounded by glass! It took me twenty minutes to figure out how to get a hold of my boots so I could go to the window! And by that time, there was a great big rock hanging over London. I thought, it had to be aliens, right? Aliens seem to be the cause of most things nowadays."
A soft sniffle from Bridget interrupted his storytelling, and Elton frowned.
"Everything alright, Bridget?"
"Sorry." And she started to cry.
Bliss shuffled her chair closer and put an arm around her, cooing softly.
"It's okay, Bridget, you can tell us."
"I started all of this because my daughter disappeared. It wasn't aliens that took her away though. It was just drugs. I come down to London every week, and I just keep looking for her."
A moment of silence, then Ursula leant forwards and squeezed her friend's hands.
"Oh, Bridget."
Things were much cheerier over the next few weeks as they discovered the group's musical talents. Bliss could play the guitar - just about. Bridget was a rather good pianist, and Mr Skinner was surprisingly handy on the drums. And once Elton had admitted his love of the Electric Light Orchestra, things got jazzy. Instead of working towards finding the Doctor, they would gather in the basement of that old library and sing their hearts out, sharing microphones through their mediocre karaoke. There had been a month or so of this arrangement before one Wednesday evening, the electricity shut off in the middle of their performance.
"Now careful, mind the cables." Mr Skinner warned.
A rattle from the lift drew everyone's attention, and they watched as it descended holding a large man. He was wearing a wide brimmed hat and a raincoat, and was carrying a briefcase.
He spread his arms, and shouted.
"Lights!"
Now, they could see the details. A little greying goatee beard, striped suit, and a black cane with a silver topper in the shape of a fist. Altogether, his whole appearance was rather sinister.
"So, we meet at last, LINDA."
Mr Skinner stepped forward, offering a hand.
"Pleased to meet you, sir. I'm sorry, was the music too loud?"
But the man backed away. "No, no, no, no, I don't shake hands. Back, back. I suffer from a skin complaint - Exeema."
Elton frowned. "Oh, you mean eczema?"
"But this is worse, much worse. I blister to the touch. Back, back, all of you. Further, further." They shuffled back, a little confused but going along with it anyway. "Thank you."
"Sorry, don't mind me asking but, who are you?"
He sneered. "I am Victor Kennedy. And I am your salvation."
He opened the briefcase and set a laptop up on one of the tables, taking a moment to go through the saved files. Finding a video, he hit play. The members of LINDA gasped.
"That's the Doctor."
The footage was shaky, and a little blurry, but it was definitely him - striding towards a blue police box with his hands shoved deep in his pockets.
Elton stared. "It's really him."
Mr Kennedy rolled his eyes. "You've forgotten your purpose in life. You, with your band and your cakes and your blubbing and all the while he still exists. The Doctor."
"Look at him. Just look." Bridget couldn't take her eyes off the screen.
"Oh though, wait for this bit. The picture cuts out, but the sound still continues. Listen. Listen to the sound of the universe. Yes."
The screen flickered into grey static, but the audio was clear. An impossible grinding sound, ancient but entirely futuristic. Elton was hit suddenly with a strong memory, and he flopped down into the nearest chair.
"Ah, that's."
Ursula reached for him. "What is it? What's wrong?"
"Leave him." Victor snapped. "You've heard it before, haven't you? When? When was it? Where? Where were you?"
"I'd forgotten, til now. But it was that night."
"What night?"
"I was just a kid. That's why I went downstairs. It woke me up. That noise. But what is it? What does it mean?"
"That is the sound of his spaceship. Right then, homework. Using the Torchwood files, we're able to look at all the old databases in a completely new light. We're able to build up a more detailed profile of the Doctor. I've allocated tasks to each of you." He handed a thick folder to each of them. "I'd like you to complete your targets and meet back here this time next week, one step closer to catching the Doctor. Well, don't just sit there, move!" As they headed for the lift, Victor turned. "Er, Bliss? It is Bliss, isn't it?"
"Yeah." The girl smiled kindly.
"Yes. Could I have a word with you in private, please?"
"Course you can, yeah."
"Thank you. Goodbye, goodbye."
Outside the library, Elton and Ursula walked together. Elton felt a little down.
"Better get to work. Lots to do."
She shrugged. "I never thought of it as work."
"It's what we've always wanted though, to find the Doctor."
"Yeah, I suppose."
After that, everything changed. The wonderful chaos of the library's basement had been entirely rearranged into what looked like a schoolroom. There were wooden desks for each of them, and one large one at the front for Mr Kennedy. Surrounding it were shelves stacked high with books and box files, one globe of Earth and one of Mars, and old fashioned phrenology head, and a
collection of other seemingly random models.
A couple of sessions passed, and Elton had to admit that they were doing far better with their search now than they had been before. Victor's rigorous methods were far better. However, it wasn't all sunshine and roses. Things just weren't the same, and he had to ask-
"Mr Kennedy?"
The man looked up.
"Yes?"
"We were wondering. No sign of Bliss. Do you know where she is?"
He almost seemed to brush the question off.
"Yes, didn't she tell you? She's getting married. She left a message. It'll never last, stupid girl. Come on, back to work."
The next week - and still no Bliss - they caught their biggest lead yet. Mr Skinner shouted joyously, pulling up a CCTV image on his laptop.
"A police box, newly arrived. It says newly arrived today. And it's in Woolwich!"
Victor bellowed. "Well, don't just stand there, move! Move, go, go!"
And so they did.
Inside the Tardis, the scanner was set up to detect a very specific signal. They'd been trying to track it for a few weeks now, with little success. Earlier in the morning the Doctor had managed to find a piece of equipment somewhere under the console that he hoped would help, so he'd got everything wired in and left it to run. Eris was sat upside down on one of the jump seats, her feet swinging over the back as she read. The book from Herbert was in her hands, and she stroked the grey fabric of the covers subconsciously. It had always been her favourite.
A ping from the scanner interrupted the escape of the Thunderchild and she groaned, slipping a piece of paper in to mark her place before twisting into a standing position and checking the scanner.
"Dad?"
Footsteps, and then the Doctor's tousled head appeared behind one of the corals.
"Yeah?"
"I think we've got something."
He took a look at the display, and grinned.
"Gotcha."
Five minutes later, the three of them were in an abandoned warehouse, trying to catch up with the creature.
"Where's he gone? Can you see him?"
"There he is! Stop. No! Watch out! There!"
"Where? Where?"
In one of the corridors, Elton cautiously approached a closed door. Reaching out, hands shaking, he tugged it open - revealing a snarling alien with large teeth. It roared, and he froze.
Backing away a little, he was aware of a flash of brown beside him, and turned to see the Doctor. He was holding a large slab of meat in his hand.
"Here, boy. Eat the food. Come on, look at the lovely food. Isn't that nice? Isn't it? Yes, it is." He turned and hissed at Elton, "Get out of here, quickly." before returning to his coaxing. "That's a boy. Wouldn't you like a porky-choppy then? I said run!"
He did so, almost bumping into two girls running in the opposite direction. One was a blonde holding a steaming blue bucket, the other was a brunette with a red bucket. The blonde got there first and threw the contents of the bucket at the alien. The Doctor groaned.
"Wrong one. You made it worse."
"You said blue!"
"I said not blue."
The alien darted after the girl, and her friend took off after them, still armed with the red bucket.
Following them, the Doctor shut the door behind him and all fell still for a moment. Utterly bewildered, Elton ran from the building, bursting into the yard outside and stopping for a moment, panting heavily.
And then he saw it. The police box. Just like all the pictures, tall and blue, standing in a very unlikely place. Too afraid to touch it, he backed away, hiding behind a stack of long metal beams. He watched as the trio walked out of the building, laughing and swinging the now empty buckets. They stopped at the doors of the box and waited as the Doctor slid the key into the lock, before following him inside.
Then, the doors closed again, and soon the air was filled with that wonderful sound.
When he relayed this information at the next LINDA meeting, Mr Kennedy was less than impressed.
"Useless!"
Elton shrugged. "I just froze."
"You met him and you froze. You stupid man!" Victor raised his hand, and Elton cringed back a little.
"You can't hit me, cause you don't touch. You said so. You get a rash and an itch and-"
"I can use this!" Brandishing the cane, Victor got a real shock when Ursula snatched it from him.
"Use that cane on him and you'll get one hell of a smack off me! And then a good kick. Is that completely understood, Mr Kennedy?"
He backed down, eyeing her closely.
"Duly noted. Ursula Blake, most likely to fight back. Right then, we'll change tack. We'll approach this sideways. If we're to discover the truth about the Doctor, then we need to try and find them."
Returning to his desk at the front of the room, Victor picked up a photograph, and brought it back over to the desks of the others. It showed the two girls that Elton had seen earlier. The blonde was looking over her shoulder in the direction of the camera, and the brunette was glancing off to one side.
"Now when it comes to the Doctor's companions, the Torchwood files are strangely lacking. It seems the evidence has been corrupted. Something called Bad Wolf virus. At least we've got these photographs. They're first hand evidence."
Mr Skinner frowned. "How can two people exist without having left a single trace on the world? It just doesn't seem possible."
Victor chuckled. "Oh, there have been traces, alright." And he scooped up a collection of papers, spreading them out on the desk. "Take a look."
The others peered at the documents in wonder. Every single one of them featured the same person. A young, stylish brunette. There was a photo of her standing in front of the Titanic, next to one of her perched on a small boat next to a sign that proclaimed 'Welcome to Port Elizabeth, South Africa'. Others were sketches, paintings, but the subject of each of them was obviously the same. And then there were the letters - some in a softly looping script, others in a wide range of handwriting. A few were lengthy, spanning several pages, but most were short notes.
'Tell Chevalier that I'll be back later.'
'My apologies for not saying a proper goodbye, Charles, but I have had the most exciting opportunity to travel to Japan…'
'So maybe I bribed the officers to let me go, that's hardly illegal is it?'
Then, one final sheet of paper. This was simply a list of names:
Ceridwen Morgan
Sigrid Arne
Lucrezia Amoretti
Ysabeau Lemaure
Eris O'Donnell
Victor gestured down at the evidence pile.
"These are all the same woman."
Bridget looked utterly bewildered. "How is this supposed to help us?"
"It won't." He snapped. "We have to use the other girl, she's a more reliable lead. Elton?"
Looking up from the photos, he cast his mind back to their brief meeting.
"It was a London accent, definitely. She's from London."
"So we hit the streets. We get out there, we take the photographs. Someone's got to know who she is somewhere."
Bridget shook her head sadly.
"Yes, but London's a big place. I mean, I should know. My own daughter's out there."
Mr Kennedy rolled his eyes.
"Bridget, don't make this personal. I don't like to be touched literally, or metaphorically, thank you very much. I haven't got the time. Bleeding hearts outside. Find me that girl! Go. Now. Move."
As he left, Elton was puzzling it over in his mind. How on Earth was he meant to find one girl in a city of ten million people?
It had been surprisingly easier than he'd thought, and within a week he'd managed to execute steps one through four of Mr Kennedy's infiltration and investigation plan. Jackie Tyler was quite the open book. So he'd been very confident walking into the next LINDA meeting, and his confidence only grew as he saw Victor's reaction.
"Magnificent! Oh, I could kiss you. Except I can't, of course. The exeema."
"I've even got a picture of her on my phone." He showed the others.
Mr Skinner was impressed.
"Oh it's amazing. You've achieved steps one to four in precise order. How did you manage it?"
Elton couldn't resist playing it up a bit.
"Well, I had to work very hard. She keeps everything very close to her chest."
Next to him, Ursula muttered. "That's a hell of a chest."
"But how do you move on? Step five, that's the problem." Bridget mused.
Back at his desk, Victor gave his orders.
"Step five. That's this week's homework. I want a full plan of attack from each of you. Now go on, vamoose. Avanti. There's work to do. And Elton? Keep infiltrating. You will do anything to get than information, boy, anything!"
"Yes, sir!"
"Oh, oh, Bridget. Bridget, oh yes. Could I have a word with you in private, please?"
The woman looked a little awkward.
"Er, Mr Skinner's giving me a lift."
"Oh, I can drop you at the station. I'm sure Mr Skinner won't mind, will you?"
Mr Skinner smiled. "Not at all. Well, Bridget, I'll see you next week."
"All right then."
He leant down to kiss her on the cheek, and then joined the others as they got into the lift.
The moment they got outside, Ursula shot a look at Mr Skinner.
"Now, Mister Skinner, I don't mean to pry, but did you give Bridget a little kiss back then?"
He blushed. "I think I did."
"And if you get your way, might there be more little kisses between the two of you?"
"I think there might."
"I knew it!"
Elton grinned. "That's brilliant!"
Mr Skinner was getting redder by the second. "Now, let's not get excited. We'll see."
As they walked, none of them noticed the faint screaming from the library.
Settled in the kitchen, the Doctor and Eris sat on opposite sides of the table in companionable silence. It was nice to have a few moments of peace and quiet for once, especially after the last few hectic adventures. Just the two of them, and a cup of tea each, enjoying a rare bit of calm. As always, it didn't last long. Rose joined them, rubbing at her eyes and clutching her phone in her left hand. Looking up, Eris frowned.
"Everything alright?"
"Just had a really odd phone call from my mum."
The Doctor looked up, noticing the unusual tone in her voice.
"Has something happened?"
Anger flared in her eyes.
"Some bloke got all friendly with her and mum thought she'd finally found someone nice. Turns out he was only doing it because he was looking for me."
"What?!"
"Apparently he's looking for you, Doctor. And he thought he could do that by finding me. Mum's convinced he's some sort of perv."
Eris shook her head. "Are you sure she's okay?"
Rose smiled softly. "Yeah, mum's a tough cookie. She's just upset that she got tricked."
"We can go and check on her, if you like?"
"I'd much rather pay a visit to the man who made her cry."
The Doctor stood. "Alright then. Let's go and find him."
In the basement of the library, a full blown row was in progress.
"And she was right. It's shameful. We used that woman!" Elton roared, slamming a hand down on his desk.
Mr Kennedy sneered. "I knew I couldn't trust you. You broke cover. You stupid little man, you failed step five."
"I don't care about step five. Because it's all gone wrong, Mr Kennedy, ever since you turned up. We used to come here every week, and we'd have a laugh. We were friends. No wonder they stopped coming. I mean, there's no Bliss any more, and even Bridget, she hasn't turned up."
Two desks away, Mr Skinner agreed.
"I've been phoning and phoning her. There's no reply."
"And who can blame her. I'm sorry, Victor, but you're on your own because I am leaving!" He stood. "And so are you, Mister Skinner. And as for you, Ursula. You're coming with me. And we're going to the Golden Locust and we're going to have a Chinese."
Ursula blinked. "What's that got to do with it?"
"I mean you and me. Together. Having a meal. If you want."
"Oh. I'd love it."
Victor was bristling with rage.
"But you can't leave. You'll never know what he was doing. The Doctor. You'll never know what he was doing in your house all those years ago."
Elton sighed. "No, I'll never know. Ursula, get your stuff. Mr Skinner, are you coming? Not to the Chinese, if you don't mind. Just sort of walking out."
Mr Skinner nodded. "I certainly am."
"Victor, good luck. Goodbye."
As they walked towards the lift, Victor called out.
"Mr Skinner, would you stay for a minute, please?"
"We're walking out." He shrugged.
"I've got numbers for Bridget! I've kept records, I've got old numbers. We could track her down. Together, you and I."
He thought for a moment, then smiled.
"That's more like the old team spirit. You two have a nice time."
Ursula smiled back. "I hope you find her."
"I'll email you." Elton nodded, before stepping into the lift.
And they ascended.
In the street, arm in arm, Elton and Ursula mused over their Chinese orders.
"Mmm, prawns!"
"Yeah, I like prawns."
"Do you?"
"Crispy aromatic though."
Then, Ursula stopped mid stride, her face dropping as she patted at her coat.
"Oh, I left my phone."
Elton groaned. "Really?"
"Yeah. It's not in my pocket."
"So much for the big exit."
"Yeah, come on. Hurry up."
They both felt utterly ridiculous as they took the lift back down to the basement - some walkout this turned out to be!
Ursula led the way out, calling to Mr Kennedy before she'd even stepped out of the lift.
"I'm not stopping, I just left my phone. Victor?"
She couldn't see him. Obviously, he was there - sat at the desk, as usual. But his entire upper body was obscured by a copy of the Daily Telegraph. When he spoke, his voice sounded… wrong.
"Take your phone and go."
"Where's Mister Skinner?"
A pause, and a slightly panicked response.
"He's gone to the toilet."
Elton shook his head. "But we haven't got toilets. We have to use the pub on the corner."
"Well, well, well, that's, that's where he is, then."
The conversation was joined by a muffled voice.
"Help me."
Ursula frowned. "What was that?"
"Nothing. It was nothing. It was nothing!"
"Help me!"
"Shut up." Mr Kennedy snarled.
Elton gasped. "That's Mister Skinner!"
But Ursula had noticed something far more concerning.
"Victor, look at your hands."
Two fat, sickly green fingers, with wickedly sharp black nails.
"Look at the rest of me."
The paper was lowered, and Elton and Ursula took a step back. Instead of Mr Kennedy, there was a grossly obese alien - it had to be an alien - with shaggy black hair and putrid green skin.
"You've dabbled with aliens. Now meet the genuine article."
"Oh, my God."
Elton pointed at him. "You're a thing!"
Victor scoffed. "A thing? This thing is my true form. Better than that crude pink shape you call a body."
A face shaped protrusion on the left side of it's fat belly spoke.
"What happened? Where am I? Ursula? Is that you?"
Ursula felt like she wanted to be sick. "That's Mister Skinner. What have you done to him?"
"I've absorbed him."
Another voice came from just behind the creature's right shoulder. Another one they knew.
"Colin? Is that you? Colin!"
"Bridget, my love?"
Ursula was practically grey. "Oh, my God, that's Bridget!"
"Colin, where are you?"
"I'm here, Bridget. It's all right. I'm close."
"You've absorbed them both!"
Elton jumped in. "What about Bliss? Where is she?"
The only response was a muffled grumble.
"What?"
Victor shifted in his seat, and Bliss repeated herself.
"I said, you really don't want to know."
Now, he was almost shaking with anger.
"You've absorbed her. Are you some sort of Absorbathon? An Absorbaling? An Absorbaloff."
"Yes, I like that." Victor clicked his fingers.
Ursula took a step towards the bulky beast.
"Let them go. I'm ordering you. Let those people go!"
"Oh, but they taste so sweet. Just think about the Doctor. Oh, how will he taste? All that experience, all that knowledge. And if I've got to absorb Jackie Tyler to get to him, then so be it."
"Don't you dare." Elton hissed.
Storming forwards, Ursula ripped the cane from Victor's hand.
"If I have to beat them out of you."
He threw his hands up in a clear mockery of innocence.
"Oh, no, no. Please don't hit me. Look at me. I'm such a slow and clumsy beast. Please don't hit me."
"Well, then give them back."
"What, you mean like this?" And he lunged, grabbing her arm. "Just one touch. That's all it takes."
She started to dissolve before Elton's very eyes. "Oh, no. Oh, oh no."
"Leave her alone!" He shouted.
Before he could move, Ursula turned to look at him, pleading.
"Don't touch me. Oh, Elton, I'm so sorry. You can't touch me."
"Ursula."
Victor scoffed. "Most likely to fight back, indeed."
"Leave her alone! No, that's not fair."
As Ursula's face appeared on the creature's chest, he slurped.
"She tastes like chicken."
She blinked, confused. "Elton, where are you?"
He resorted to begging.
"Please. Mister Kennedy, please. I'm asking you. I'm begging you. Give her back to me."
"I can't. Once they've been absorbed, the process is irreversible."
Ursula made a noise of dismay.
"Wait a minute. Now I've been absorbed, I can read his thoughts. Oh, my God. Elton, you're next! Get out of here. Now you've seen him, he can't let you go. Just run. Go on. Never mind me, get out!"
Victor snarled. "Isn't she the clever one?"
The other members of LINDA shouted over each other.
"Run, Elton! Run!"
"Save yourself, boy!"
"Run for your life!"
With surprising agility, Victor vaulted over the desk, and Elton ran for it.
He felt like he'd been running for hours, but it could only have been a few minutes, maybe not even that. All the way, the Absorbaloff had been right behind him. His escape came to an abrupt stop when he turned into a dead end, and he turned to face his pursuer, panting. It sneered.
"Oh, what's the matter? Have you given up so soon?"
Elton knew his voice was entirely flat, but he simply didn't care.
"There's no point. Where would I go? Everything I ever wanted…"
"Has been absorbed." The creature finished.
On it's chest, Ursula crooned softly. "Oh, Elton. Don't say that."
"But it's true!" He wailed.
An ugly green hand was extended.
"Then join us. Join us, little man. Come on. It's everlasting peace. Come on. Join us. Dissolve into me."
And then behind him, a sound he thought he'd never hear again. That ancient wheezing, groaning grind of engines that were built in the far reaches of space. The Tardis. As it landed, he looked over his shoulder to see the Doctor opening the doors, stepping aside slightly to leave the entrance clear. There was an odd look on his face.
"Someone wants a word with you."
Rose Tyler marched out of the Tardis and stopped just in front of him, arms crossed.
"You upset my mum."
Elton was gobsmacked.
"Great big absorbing creature from outer space, and you're having a go at me?"
"No one upsets my mum."
The creature that had once been Victor Kennedy gurgled gleefully.
"At last. The greatest feast of all. The Doctor."
Glancing over at Eris as she closed the Tardis doors behind her, the Doctor hummed thoughtfully. "Interesting. A sort of Absorbatrix? Absorbaclon? Absorbaloff?"
"Absorbaloff, yes."
Rose pulled a face. "Is it me or is he a bit Slitheen?"
He agreed. "Not from Raxacoricofallapatorius, are you?"
The Absorbaloff grimaced. "No, I'm not. They're swine. I spit on them. I was born on their twin planet."
"Really? What's the twin planet of Raxacoricofallapatorius?"
"Clom."
Eris barked out a laugh. "Clom?!"
"Clom. Yes. And I'll return there victorious, once I possess your travelling machine."
The Doctor huffed.
"Well, that's never going to happen."
"Oh, it will. You'll surrender yourself to me, Doctor, or this one dies. You see, I've read about you, Doctor. I've studied you. So passionate, so sweet. You wouldn't let an innocent man die. And I'll absorb him, unless you give yourself to me."
"Sweet, maybe. Passionate, I suppose. But don't ever mistake that for nice. Do what you want."
"He'll die, Doctor."
Shrugging, he turned away. "Go on, then."
"So be it."
"Mind you, the others might have something to say."
Confusion clouded the alien's eyes.
"Others?"
Gasping, Ursula cried out.
"He's right. The Doctor's right. We can't let him. Oh, Mr Skinner, Bridget, pull!"
"No!"
"For God's sake, pull!"
"No, don't - get off, get off!"
"If it's the last thing we ever do. Bliss! All of us together. Come on, pull!"
"Stop it!"
"LINDA united, pull!"
They watched as the faces distorted as they projected from the skin they were trapped in, pulling with all their might. Victor's cane slid from his hand, and Ursula shouted.
"Elton, the cane. Break it!"
Scrambling, Elton grabbed the sleek black stick and slammed it down on his knee, snapping it in two.
The Absorbaloff howled. "My cane! You stupid man. Oh, no!" But he couldn't say another word as he turned entirely into liquid, splashing messily across the pavement.
The onlookers stood silent for a moment, before Elton turned to face his rescuers.
"What did I do?"
The Doctor kicked one of the halves of the cane.
"The cane created a limitation field. Now it's broken, he can't stop. The absorber is being absorbed."
"By what?"
"By the earth."
As the last drops of green goop dribbled away down the cracks, the shape of a face tried to push through the concrete of the floor. A strained voice managed to whisper as Elton knelt down. A soft, sweet voice that he'd fallen in love with.
"Bye, bye, Elton. Bye, bye."
And then she was gone.
Quiet, raspy sobs fell from Elton's lips, and Eris dropped to her knees beside him, rubbing his back.
"Who was she?"
"That was Ursula."
It had taken her two and a half weeks, but-
"I found it!"
The Doctor and Rose came running at Eris' shout, crowding around the scanner display.
"Are you sure?" Rose was chewing nervously at her lip.
"Yep. Here you go."
She pressed play, and Elton's face flickered into life. He'd clearly been mid-sentence.
"And that's it. Almost. Because the Doctor still had more to say." He took a deep breath, ran a hand over his face, and gazed up at the ceiling of his bedroom.
"And then he explained. That night, all those years ago. An elemental shade, he called it. From somewhere called the Howling Halls. And there were these women there, such kind women, who took me into my kitchen and made me a cup of tea. I was four years old, but I always remembered those smiles. How sad they'd been the second I turned away. When I went back into the living room, all he said was 'I'm sorry, I wasn't in time to save her'. Because that was the night my mother died."
The trio watched on solemnly as Elton, cheeks blotchy and eyes red, blinked hard to stop himself breaking down.
"We forget because we must. So, there you go. Turns out I've had the most terrible things happen. And the most brilliant things. And sometimes, well, I can't tell the difference. They're all the same thing. They're just me. You know, Steven King said once, he said, salvation and damnation are the same thing. And I never knew what he meant. But I do now. Because the Doctor might be wonderful, but thinking back, I was having such a special time. Just for a bit. I had this nice little gang, and they were destroyed. It's not his fault, but maybe that's what happens if you touch the Doctor. Even for a second. I keep thinking of Rose and Jackie, and Eris. And how much longer before they pay the price."
The Doctor jumped, then relaxed as Eris' arm made its way around his back and squeezed him reassuringly.
On the video, a woman's voice sounded from out of the frame.
"Oh, now don't get all miserable. Come on, Elton. You've still got me."
His face lit up. "Oh, yeah. 'Cos the Doctor said he could do one last thing with his magic wand.
Even then, after all that, the Doctor saved me one last time."
Leaning towards the camera, Elton clearly struggled for a second to lift something that was tucked behind it. Once he managed to do so, he sat back in his chair and revealed… a paving slab. A paving slab with a face. In the Tardis, the three watchers cheered.
"Here she is."
Ursula smiled lovingly. "Could be worse. At least I'll never age. And it really is quite peaceful, you'd be surprised."
Elton laughed. "It's a relationship, of sorts, but we manage." Then, his face became a smirk.
"We've even got a bit of a love life."
"Oh, let's not go into that."
"And I don't care what anyone thinks. I love her."
Rose brought a hand to her chest. "That's so sweet! I'm so glad it worked out."
Waving a hand, Eris shushed her. Because Elton clearly wasn't finished speaking.
"But the thing is-" And he raised a small black remote, and the camera zoomed in on his face.
"There we are. I've even bought a remote zoom. But what I wanted to say is, you know, when you're a kid, they tell you it's all, grow up, get a job, get married, get a house, have a kid, and that's it. But the truth is, the world is so much stranger than that. It's so much darker, and so much madder. And so much better."
AN.2:
Me again! What did you think of that?
I wonder if any of you cleverclogs out there have figured out what Eris' favourite book is... it may or may not be a very tiny hint as to certain things to come...
Much love, Azzie xx