Wooooooo sorry for the wait, got distracted by yet another new story! I have no control over my life, what else is new.

I've been living on my mom's couch since the last update. It's been annoying, tbh. I know I'm in her house and should respect her rules, and she's not even making me pay rent, but her selfishness is insufferable. Whatever. My old roommates and I should be closing on the new house soon, though!

I also managed to injure myself after not even working for walmart for a month. Yaaaaay. I got worker's comp at least?

Okay so there was a rant here about money being tight, but I deleted it because y'all aren't here for that. I did lose my job though. Was only there for two months! After being at DG for three years! They didn't even tell me they were getting rid of me! They just took me off the schedule! Pricks!

(I wrote this chapter while I still had a job. Didn't post it until now because I had to wait for my best friend to catch up so she could beta; I wasn't very sure about this one.)

Last but not least, my psychiatrist has decreased my anti-depressants because you're not supposed to mix the two that I'm taking, even though the mix was literally working great until she decreased them. So now I'm depressed again, surprise surprise.

Kill me.

Chapter 22: Alone

It was nearing the end of February. Kirito had forgiven Nanako, mostly, but hadn't approached her to apologize for running off. Every time she or Kyou logged in (which had seemed to be a little less frequent than they used to), he'd turn his back. He'd apologize when they did. It was childish, but he didn't care.

Nanako had tried sending him a message early on, but in his anger he'd deleted it without opening it. He'd regretted it instantly, but it was too late, and he wasn't about to message her to see what she had sent when he hadn't forgiven her yet.

Bloop materialized on his shoulder, distracting him from his thoughts. Kyou must have just logged out; upon his master waking, the indigo slime would always return to Kirito until either Nanako or Kyou logged back in.

Despite being having been angry at them, Kirito didn't have the heart to take his anger out on Bloop. He still couldn't see why Nanako was so enamored with the small blob, or why she thought slimes were cute in general, but he had to admit the little guy was growing on him. He was extremely useful against bosses with high defense and health, and beyond that the slime's desire for affection was endearing.

But that was neither here nor there. Right now, he had a job to do.

Hearing a scream, he rushed towards the sound. Would he make it in time?

Nanako would probably know.

He shook the thought from his head, focusing on the task at hand. The last thing he needed was to get distracted and lose his footing. Bloop was bouncing on his shoulder, trying his very best to not get knocked off by Kirito's speed.

Just ahead, three gorilla-mobs were about to kill a lone, terrified girl. Kirito quickly unsheathed his sword, killing the mobs in one swing.

Man, gotta love front-liner stats on these lower floors.

Once the girl was safe, instead of thanking him, she cupped a glowing feather on the ground in her hands. "Pina…" she sniffed.

Kirito shared a glance with Bloop. Despite having no discernible face, the slime was quite expressive. Once you learned to interpret his squishes, bubbles, and hums, communication was possible even without the familiar communication skill. That is to say, the same way one might understand a very intelligent cat.

In this instance, based on the way the slime had stretched itself upward and slightly to the side in the impression of a tilted head, Bloop wanted to know if the girl was okay. Specifically, if Kirito was going to help her, or if Bloop had to hop off his shoulder and do it himself.

Kirito kneeled down next to the girl before the slime could decide to do anything drastic. "What's that feather?"

"It's Pina," the girl replied, as if that answered everything.

It did, in a way. "You're a beast tamer," Kirito stated in slight awe. Other than Nanako, he didn't know any more, they were so rare.

Bloop, tired of waiting for Kirito to make this poor girl feel better, took matters into his own slime. Hopping off Kirito's shoulder, he landed next to the girl, emitting his friendliest-sounding hum.

She sniffled, weakly smiling despite herself. "Hi, little guy. Who are you?"

Bloop let out a single bubble, which, remarkably, went blop! as it popped.

"Oh, so your name is Bloop? That's cute!" The girl responded, understanding Bloop's bubble pop perfectly. "I'm Silica."

Kirito's mind reeled before he made the connection that, being a beast tamer, of course she would have familiar communication, and thus be able to understand the tiny slime.

Maybe Kirito should invest in that.

I'm gonna be honest, life hasn't been that great at the moment.

Both my lives were in shambles. In one I was simultaneously avoiding both friend and foe, and in the other I was, to put it lightly, failing at life.

Aincrad was lonely. Several thousand players remained, but I felt more alone than ever. The few people who wouldn't take the opportunity to kill me for exp were Kirito's friends, and thus people I was avoiding just in case he wanted to spend time with him.

In the time I'd been giving Kirito space, he still steadily leveled, increasing my own level as a result. Playing solo, now, I was allocating the two of my five points-per-level I normally spent on defense to attack instead, leaving the other three for speed. I was terrified I wouldn't be fast enough to save someone in the future, and the defense honestly hadn't been that much help to me. I knew trying to change my build halfway through the game was a moderately bad decision at best, but I needed those points in attack now that I didn't have Kirito to be DPS.

I missed him. Having someone else to cheer up cheered me up, keeping us both in a positive state of mind. I still had Bloop, but…it kind of felt like I didn't have a purpose when I was solo.

Real life had gotten pretty lonely as well. The worst came to pass, and my roommates and I had lost the custody-battle (for lack of a better term) over the house we were living in, resulting in us getting evicted. It'd been weeks since I last saw them or any of my other friends in person. That, coupled with the decreased anti-depressants (don't ask), was a solid blow to my mental health. I didn't think I was suicidal, but I was definitely down to avoid reality for awhile.

I didn't love my new job as much as I liked the old one, either. The pay was better, but the work was harder. The breaks were longer, but the management less forgiving. I didn't even like the coworkers that much. I just couldn't bring myself to wake up early enough to get there on time, most days.

I honestly couldn't decide which was worse: sleeping, or staying awake? Either way I'd be lonely.

Bored with the myriad of activities I'd barely started today, I eventually gave up and fell asleep.

I materialized behind Kirito, as usual. What wasn't usual was the fact that he was being brutally attacked, and he wasn't fighting back! Abandoning the notion of continuing to avoid him, I jumped in to defend him. God, was he worse off than I thought? Was he as depressed as I was? Frack, I was a terrible pseudo older sibling to leave him alone for so long!

"Nanako?" Still not moving to defend himself, Kirito just stood in utter confusion at my sudden appearance.

I threw back his seven attackers with a couple frantic horizontal slashes. With my newly-trained attack stat, their health plummeted to half in just the one hit. There was voice in the back of my head telling me to cool it, that this was supposed to happen and they were too low-leveled to be a threat, but I ignored it.

"Are you okay?" I turned back to face Kirito. "Where's Bloop? Is he okay?"

"I'm fine, Nanako. Bloop is also fine. He's with Silica." Kirito sighed.

"Silica?" I took in the rest of our surroundings. Seven orange and red players getting their bearings, flowers everywhere, that red-haired bitch Rosalia standing with horror written all over her face, and Silica, who looked plain confused, Bloop cupped in her hands.

Bloop jumped out of Silica's hands, bouncing to me with a joyful, bubbly hum. I caught him with ease, smiling softly. "At least one person's happy to see me!" I cooed. Ah, Bloop; he brings me joy.

I refocused on the situation at hand. "Sorry to interfere, Kirito. Should I leave you to it?"

Kirito sighed again. "You might as well stay, Nanako. You're here now, and these players aren't high-leveled enough to kill you, as I was just trying to show."

Right. Woops.

"Right. If they can't kill the number one glass canon then they certainly can't kill me!" I did my best to appear fine, like I wasn't actually horridly depressed.

"Remind me what your death count is again?" Kirito snarked, as if we hadn't been avoiding each other for months.

Ah. Kirito: 1, Nanako: 0.

Or, you could say, Kirito: 0, Nanako: 10. Or some number that was way higher than necessary.

"I was right!" The orange player in purple cried out. "He is from the lead group! That's the Pheonix Blade!"

Rats, the cat's out of the bag.

The orange player then proceeded to run like his life depended on it, which, for all he knew, it did.

Wait, did these people not have teleport crystals?

"Get back here, coward!" Rosalia shouted.

"Don't worry, I got him," I assured her, as if we were on the same side.

Flying at top speed, significantly faster than the fleeing criminal, I quickly caught up to the terrified player. I almost felt bad as I grabbed him by the back of his shirt and dragged him back to the group. Almost.

Man, it felt good to have purpose again.

"So the stories are true…" another orange player whispered. "She really does fly!"

Yup, since floor one. Keep up, buddy.

Kirito went on to explain that, basically, his numbers were too big to be beaten by players of their level. He then explained that the teleport crystal he was holding would send them to jail. As I had caught the last player who'd tried to flee, most of them were inclined to go quietly. The exception was, of course, Rosalia, but she was effectively threatened into submission by a bloodthirsty-looking Kirito. It was an act, of course, but he did a good job selling it.

With that done, I went back to feeling unwanted. Kirito and Silica walked down the path towards town. I stood back, not knowing what to do. Had Kirito forgiven me? Was I supposed to apologize again first? What was he waiting on?

"Are you coming, Nanako?"

I burst into tears.

Back at the inn Kirito and Silica were staying in, I let Kirito and Silica have their talk and revive Pina while I waited in the hallway. I had intruded enough.

Crying like that had been embarrassing. Silica had been confused, and Kirito was most definitely out of his element. I was never the one who needed comfort, it was always the other way around until now.

I calmed myself quickly, but the damage was done. Kirito had seen how hard I had taken avoiding him. Gosh, how needy of me. I sounded like a dramatic, love-struck teenager. The truth of the matter was that I hadn't just been avoiding Kirito; I'd cut myself off from my entire support group. It was stupid, and dramatic, and I couldn't even come up with a good reason for doing it anymore.

The door to the inn room opened, and Kirito stepped out. "Do you want to come to my room and talk?" He asked.

I nodded, trying to appear more in control of my emotions than I really was.

Kirito walked to the next door, opening it and going inside. I followed wordlessly.

"I'm sorry I didn't find you sooner," he apologized first, sitting on the bed. "I didn't realize this was affecting you so much. Why did you stay away so long?"

Sitting next to him, I shook my head. "No, I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you. I stayed away to give you space. I figured you would say something if you ever forgave me." Bloop rubbed my hand, making a cooing noise like I often made to him. I smiled. "I wasn't completely on my own, though; I did have Bloop."

"Are you okay?" Kirito asked after I didn't say anything else. He had no business sounding so concerned.

I nodded, before changing my mind and shaking my head. "It's just depression. I have chronic depression, and everything has sucked for the last month or two. First covid, then the guild died, then we got in a fight, and then I got evicted…do you know how long it's been since I last got to hug someone who wasn't my mom?"

I guess I should have seen it coming, but I was still surprised when Kirito's arms were suddenly wrapped around me in a hug. Bloop jumped out from between us to avoid getting squished, jumping on my shoulder and nuzzling into my neck. Despite Bloop's presence on my shoulder, it felt like a weight had been lifted from them.

We stayed like that for a minute before pulling apart. "That better?" Kirito asked.

"Man, I always thought little brothers were to support and annoy the shit out of, not be sensitive and kind and supportive," I joked, laughing pathetically. "But yeah, that helped a lot."

"Next time we get in a fight, don't do this to yourself," Kirito's tone left no room for argument. "I know you want to protect me, but you matter too. Don't forget that."

"Right, bossy little brother." My go-to emotional coping mechanism is sarcasm, fight me.

"But of course, dumb big sister," he shot back.

This was…nice.

A/N: Oh, did I say it wasn't gonna be an angsty chapter in last chapter's A/N? My bad. Get me some anti-depressants, then we'll talk.

Actually, I'm doing a little better, despite finding out LITERALLY TODAY that I probably lost my job. I've been better, but I got to socialize a little today so I don't feel as down. Yay!