Like a Comet Pulled from Orbit

Despite falling asleep listening to Haldir's stories of Lothlorien, Aisling woke up still feeling disoriented the next morning. Everything that had happened yesterday - from the wolf attack to the dream - had her seriously questioning her sanity right now. Even with Haldir's reassurances the night before that this was the real world, she was left reeling and questioning just what was real and what was the dream.

It made the most sense, logically at least, that Middle Earth was the dream. (Seriously, how did a world like this actually exist? What's more, how did she get here?) But then again...

She had been in pain from her injuries from the storm. Felt sore after riding all day and sleeping on the ground. She felt the clothes she wore. Her arm was smarting from the wolf bite and just thinking about the attack had her heart racing slightly. And then last night, she had felt Haldir's heart beating in his chest.

Aisling's face heated up as her thoughts returned to last night. She slyly glanced over at him where he was finishing up with packing his own horse and then turned back to her own, eyes shut and hands tightly gripping the straps she was using to tie down her pack. It had been the most intimate exchange the two had had so far, though she told herself it was just a friendly gesture on his part. She had woken up screaming in the middle of the night and as the member of their party who had known her the longest, he had checked on her. Then found her losing her shit and had no choice but to calm her down. Again. After she had lost her shit earlier.

Embarrassment flooded through her as she recalled her incoherent babbling and going off by herself. Getting into trouble and potentially killed. God, she really should have been paying more attention and not gone so far away from the camp. But so far, no one else had brought it up. For that she was grateful. The last thing she needed right now was a group therapy session or yet another reminder that she was easily the weakest in the group.

She already had a literal reminder of that on her arm.

"Come on, we must be off," Aragorn said loudly to everyone. Aisling looked over and found his eyes softened a bit as they met hers. "We are wasting daylight and I do not think it wise that we tarry here," he said, though it was gentler.

Aisling nodded and then turned, quickly finished up her task before mounting the horse, though she grimaced slightly in pain and looked down at her arm a moment. Taking a deep breath, she then lightly kicked Roharan and set off, falling into place behind Aragorn. Right. This was just another day on the road. Nothing more. She could do this. Nothing was wrong. Nope, she was not currently questioning everything around her. Not at all.

OOOO

Haldir watched as Aisling rode just in front of him next to Aragorn, frowning in concern. For some reason, she had decided to pretend that nothing was out of sorts, though it was obvious that her normally happy chatter was forced and stale. She never seemed to meet anyone's eyes. Her face paler was than usual and withdrawn in a way that caused him great worry. He knew that she had not gotten much rest last night despite the draught. Even after she had fallen asleep again, as soon as he moved her back to her pallet, she immediately began to toss and turn, unable to settle without him nearby.

Not as though he could have left her side regardless. Even now, he felt that he should be at her side and his eyes were constantly scanning their surroundings, searching out any sort of danger that could come before it got too close.

It was better to focus on that rather than the feeling that had come over him when he wrapped his arms around her the night before. It was folly to allow himself to entertain any ideas that there was something deeper at play here, for Aisling was mortal and set on leaving this world while he would forever remain. They were friends and companions, nothing more. Aisling was like a comet, only coming into orbit for a brief time and then she would pass on. This concern he felt for her was merely one he felt out of his sense of duty to look after her. And out of guilt that he had not done so yesterday.

But he could not stop returning to Lady Galadriel's words to him as they left.

"Stay at her side, Haldir. Be her anchor in the storm. But also, keep your mind open, for there is much to learn on this journey."

Surely, the Lady had only seen his desire to protect the mortal woman in his mind and nothing more. That she wished for him to think beyond the forests of Lothlorien for once. There was nothing more.

And yet…

In his many years of existence, no one had drawn his attention like she had. No one had embedded themselves into his thoughts as she had. With her strange way of speech and bizarre recollections of the even stranger world from whence she came. The way her eyes would seek him wherever they went. How she would smile when she found him and her eyes would light up like stars. The way he too would always seek her in a crowd. How a warmth spread throughout when she had seen fit to gift him, and only him, with a special name. As though he were something precious to her.

The fact that she learned ways to protect herself because there was a common need not to protect oneself from creatures, but from her fellow man. While he was most impressed with the ingenuity of the moves - surely anyone of any stature and strength could perform them - he still was not so sure they would work against enemies here. Not against goblins and orcs with their gnashing teeth and crude weapons. Aisling would have no time to get out of their grasp should an orc gain hold of her. In that way, Galadriel's advice made perfect sense and after the attack, it was more clear just how fragile she was. Haldir needed to stay at her side to make sure she survived this world long enough to return to her own land.

He had long held the sense of duty to protect. It was his life's work to protect the borders of Lothlorien and the elves within. A duty he would gladly lay down his life for. But never had he felt this strong a drive to protect one single individual. It must be Aisling's lack of knowledge of this world. Her inability to protect herself from the threats that were in Middle Earth. In some ways, Aisling truly was helpless. Though not completely. She had proven yesterday that she was capable of protecting herself in some ways. And had kept her wits about her despite her strange circumstances. Until last night, that is.

"Did she tell you more of what she dreamt last night?" Legolas asked, pulling up to Haldir's side. "Or even spoken about the attack?"

The marchwarden glanced at him, then fixed his sight back on Aisling, who was staring straight ahead of her, now silent, her shoulders drooping as though she carried a great weight.

"I told you, it was but a nightmare," he replied. The prince made an impatient noise in the back of his throat. "If she wishes you to know the details, she will tell you herself."

"She does not seem willing to speak of it this day. Of any of it," Legolas said, his tone carrying a fair amount of concern, though his face was calm.

"She is likely embarrassed," Haldir continued. "You have seen that she can be stubborn. Focuses on her weaknesses… I am sure her pride is somewhat wounded."

"We both know this is more than a mere matter of pride," Legolas said, turning his sharp eyes to Haldir. "Between the attack and whatever she saw in her mind, it has disturbed her greatly. In just a night, the light has left her eyes."

Haldir's brow furrowed, knowing that Legolas was only voicing his own worries. He understood why Aisling was upset, though she tried to hide it. She was questioning her very sanity. The attack and dream had altered her perception of reality. He had been so sure that he had quelled her fears, going against his usual nature by holding her close and providing her a small amount of physical comfort. And yet, she still woke up with a haunted look in her eyes. But then again, this was a dilemma that would not be solved by simply holding her or telling her stories until she was able to fall asleep.

"The mind is a fragile thing sometimes," Haldir finally said, his eyes still fixed on her. "And she has been through much. It is easy to overlook, considering her cheerful demeanor, but she has traveled to our world from one vastly different and knows not how this happened, nor if she will be able to return." He glanced at the prince. "I assure you, my lord, I understand that it plagues her mind. I only suggest that we not draw more attention than necessary for now."

"But still, surely there is more we can do," Legolas pushed. "I do not like seeing her this way."

"Nor do I," Haldir replied.

"Then what do we do?" Legolas asked.

"Continue on as normal. Allow her patience, but let her continue with her act until she seems fit to discuss it," he said, not wishing for the prince to know that he too was unsure of just how to help her at this particular moment. "And then we find a way to send her back to her home so that she can be reunited with her family."

There was silence for a few moments.

"Very well," Legolas said, finally answering. He then rode off, shouting to Aragorn that he intended to ride ahead, scouting the way. Haldir remained where he was, constantly watching Aisling.

"She will be fine. She is strong," he told himself. "She will be fine."

"Be her anchor…"

OOOO

Aisling woke up feeling more tired than when she had lay down the night before. It had been exhausting pretending that everything was okay, and she knew for sure that no one believed her, but had played along with her regardless. For a few moments, she lay on her back, staring up at the clear blue sky and listening to the forest life around her. Birds teetering in the branches. Squirrels or what have you scampering around. The sounds of her traveling companions moving around the camp. They had probably been up for hours before her.

They had all been kind with her yesterday, not bringing anything up about the attack or her nightmare. Haldir had seen to her bite, and said it was healing nicely. Legolas had even insisted rather cheerfully (though she knew it was fake) that they continue on with their lessons, though amended it to account for her injury. But it had ended much sooner than usual when it was obvious that her heart just wasn't in it.

No matter how much she tried, Aisling couldn't seem to shake the cobwebs from her mind. Everytime she closed her eyes, she tried to force her way back to the place where she heard her cousins. Back to the hospital room, but she couldn't ever seem to get there. In the light of day, she could see that Haldir was right. That that had been the dream and this was reality. Christ, as if a wolf attack wasn't enough to make her realize. Or anything else. Tears pricked at her eyes as she once again began to wonder if she was ever going to get back home.

If she'd ever see her cousins again.

But then she swallowed her tears and sat up, stretching out the kinks in her neck. She couldn't let herself wallow on the ground when they needed to find this wizard. And even though she was injured, she was determined to try and pull her own weight, though it didn't help that Haldir was hovering a bit more.

Well, okay, so maybe that wasn't completely bad.

After quickly eating a bit even though she wasn't that hungry (Christ, what she would give for a cup of coffee in this place), Aisling packed up and was ready to set out almost before the others. As she went over her pack to make sure everything was secured to Roharan, she felt eyes on her. Glancing around, she found Haldir on the other side of the clearing, though just as she looked at him, he was already looking away.

For probably the millionth time, she thought about how he had held her until she fell asleep and how calm she had felt. How easy it was to believe that this was the reality in that moment. While he had not asked her about the attack or her dream, or said a whole lot outside of that, he was always nearby. Had sat next to her last night until she had fallen asleep, though he didn't hold her again.

Sighing, Aisling shook her head. Everything was confusing enough without adding that on top of things. She needed to focus on one thing at a time and right now the most important thing was surviving this trip so she could find the wizard and go home.

OOOO

Haldir watched as Aragorn and Legolas rode ahead, leaving him behind with Aisling. She was in a more sullen mood this day, her eyes flat, barely taking in the forest around them. Not even attempting to keep up with pretending. While he had been intent to give her space and allow her to speak to him on what was bothering her mind when she was ready, he found that he could no longer take this from her and had spent all morning pondering ways to bring back her light.

He had thought over what Rumil or Orophin would have done in this situation, but quickly dismissed that strategy. The two were in mischief more often than not and their ideas would have likely included a prank, teasing or flirting. Things that Haldir was most definitely not adept at.

No, the only thing he excelled in in this regard was bluntness. Perhaps he should try things his way.

"You are not well," he said, looking over at her.

Aisling did not speak at first, just raised a delicate eyebrow in his direction with a spark of something in her blue eyes. Anger. A flash of anger. He was a bit unsure about it, but would take any reaction at this point.

"Excuse me?" she asked, a hint of ice in her voice.

"You barely slept and I noticed that you barely have barely eaten today. Is it the dream? Or is your arm bothering you?" he continued, unsure of why she might be upset by the question. He only stated the truth. He knew that she likely did not wish to discuss this topic, but at this point he felt that addressing it was the best way to push her forward.

Aisling blinked a few times and then looked away, color beginning to seep into her cheeks.

"I'm fine," she said hollowly.

"I do not believe you. You are not well," Haldir said.

"God, can you stop saying that, Hal? Sounds like I'm sick or something," she grumbled. "I'm not sick. I'm just… confused."

"Do you still believe that this world is but a dream?" he asked, keeping his voice even though he could not fathom how she thought that way. Even now there was a breeze blowing loose strands of hair from her face. Could she not feel it?

"No. I mean… you can't possibly understand what I'm going through," she said, frowning, though she still refused to look at him. Her cheeks turned a bit redder.

Haldir reached out, placing his hand on her arm, being sure to avoid her wound, and squeezing, if anything to further prove to her that this world was real and she was not dreaming. And that he was here at her side. Aisling stared at his hand a moment before her eyes slid up, meeting his.

"I may not fully understand your strife, but I know what is real and what is but a figment of imagination. I am real. This world is real. There is no need to doubt yourself or your sanity," he said fervently. "Does the dream still plague you? Is that why you could not sleep?"

Aisling turned away from him, now blinking rapidly as tears started to fill her eyes.

"No. I didn't have it again," she admitted.

"Is that not good news?" Haldir asked, unsure of why this would be distressing to her. She took a shaky breath.

"Good news that I haven't heard my cousins in my dreams again? Yea, peachy," she said dryly, pulling her arm from his grip.

Haldir did not speak a few moments, thinking upon this. She missed her family. It was only natural, he supposed. They were all she had ever known, even though Aisling was no stranger to losing loved ones. Haldir could not imagine losing Rumil or Orophin to death, though their profession was rife with such danger. And though his mother and father had sailed, he would see them again when he too chose to sail west. But Aisling had lost first her parents and then her uncle to death. And he did not know about the afterlife in her world. Perhaps she would never see them again. Or at least believed that she would not.

Perhaps this too added to her struggles. She worried that she would never see her cousins again as well. That the wizard would not be able to send her back.

Haldir had thought Aisling well adjusted considering her fanciful story. And not once had he doubted its validity. But now he could see that being here, surviving the wolf attack, was taking its toll on her. Perhaps this is what Lady Galadriel meant. Being an anchor in the storm that was Aisling's mind.

"I know that you do not know how you came to be here. Why you are here. Or if or how you will return, but you are not alone," Haldir said. "I assure you of this. If you need to unburden your mind, please, allow me to help."

Aisling glanced over at him. He hoped that she could see the sincerity in his eyes. He wanted to do this for her. If it would help ease her mind so they could return to how they had been the first few days of their trip. Talking happily as they rode. She finally sighed and shook her head.

"Okay, so… I guess I'm confused. When I had the dream, I thought I finally had some answers. But then the wolf and… I don't know. Nothing seems to make sense. Could this be an intense coma dream? Yea, maybe. But then I remember feeling the wolf bite my arm, and…" she faltered for a bit, her cheeks coloring a bit before she continued. "But it doesn't change the fact that I need - want - to go back to my world. I have my job, my family. Friends. Responsibilities. Let's face it, I'm not really cut out for this world… And regardless of whether I'm in a coma over there or just missing or… whatever, I know that they're really worried about me." She furrowed her brow. "I don't like it when people worry about me."

"I am afraid that is something you have no control over. No matter what you do, there will always be someone that worries for you," Haldir answered. Aisling glanced at him sideways, a hint of a smile on her face. This time it appeared genuine.

"Really? Who do you worry about?" she asked. "Or rather, who worries about you?"

He knew she was attempting to change the subject, but he was elated that she was finally speaking about things, so would play along. For now.

"I am sure that my brothers worry for me. At times. While our lands are safe, there is always the chance of bloodshed in our chosen profession. And I know I worry for them when they go to guard the borders and I am not there," he replied sensibly. Aisling nodded slowly.

"Hard to imagine Orophin worrying about anything. Though Rumil… I could see that," she said. "He's obviously the more sensitive of the two."

"That is a sound judgement," Haldir replied. "I worry for you, as well." Aisling looked over at him, her eyebrows raised slightly as more color flooded her cheeks. "It was I who found you injured and alone in the woods. It is my responsibility to make sure that you are safe and able to return home. Even Lady Galadriel has given me this task. And already I have nearly failed."

Aisling looked back forward, the look of surprise now replaced with one of slight disappointment and then guilt. Bother, what had he said that would warrant such a look?

"It wasn't your fault, you know," she said. "I went off on my own. You can't watch me all the time."

"I worried that I would not get there in time. Not when I heard you scream," Haldir said, stopping himself before he said more. Before he admitted how truly fearful he had been. "But making sure you are safe is a task that I gladly take on. Even now, I worry for you. Being so despondent and morose."

Aisling glanced at him again, her expression now contemplative. She then sighed again, the small smile returning.

"Well, thank you. Guess I need it more than I thought. And… I guess for now, I'm just getting stuck in my head again. Liam is always getting onto me about that," she said. "Always overthinking things. God, no wonder I haven't dated in years."

Her eyes suddenly widened as her cheeks turned bright red, as though she had not meant to say such things. Though Haldir had not a clue as to what she meant by dating. She must have seen this in his face.

"Right, suppose you guys don't really do that over here. Or you call it something else. Maybe… courting?" she said hesitantly. Ah, that is why she seemed so embarrassed.

Haldir had to admit that now he understood, he felt a bit of unease himself, though he was not sure why. He was not one to hesitate to speak. Not usually.

"Ah, so you have a betrothed waiting for you as well?" he asked, though the question felt odd on his tongue and there was a strange churning in his stomach as he awaited the answer. Part of him hoped she said yes, so that he could put to rest the strange thoughts and feelings he had been having towards her.

"No," she said quickly. "Okay, so maybe it's different. Think of dating as… a step below courting. When you're… getting to know someone before you seriously start thinking about… marriage." Haldir nodded his understanding. That was a simple enough explanation. "And I don't have anyone that I'm courting. Or dating. Just… yea… too busy with work… and everything." She glanced over at him, a shyness now coating her. "What about you?"

"I, too, am not courting - or dating - anyone," he replied, testing out the strange word. "My duties keep me on the borders of our land more often than not. I have not had the luxury of finding a life partner. But as you know, we elves have many years. There is more than enough time before I have to think of such things."

Though now that he truly thought about it, he felt that was not a complete answer. He spent enough time in Caras Galadhon and around elleth to find someone. He just had not felt that pull yet. The startings of a bond that would be unbreakable and last an eternity. He studied Aisling a moment, thinking that perhaps that was truly the reason behind her singlehood as well.

Aisling chuckled softly, a gentle smile on her lips before she looked up and he found a conspiritol glint in her eye.

"Between you and me, I think there's definitely something along the lines of dating or courting between Aragorn and Arwen," she said. Haldir found himself smiling with her.

"And what, pray tell, gives you that idea?" he asked.

"Oh my god, I know you guys are super observant and have incredible eyesight. Have you not seen how they look at each other? Like the other walks on water or something," she said, laughing. She then sighed wistfully. "It's the way everyone wants someone to look at them… Well, maybe not everyone, but you know… most people… some people..."

She shifted in her saddle as though she was a bit uncomfortable, making sure not to look at him. Haldir chuckled softly.

"I suppose it is not so much a deep secret that they have long held affections for each other. I am not often in Imladris, but I have known about it," he replied. He looked over and caught Aisling watching him, though once she was aware, she looked back forward again.

"Oh, well. Guess I'm the last to find out for sure… what about Legolas?" she then asked. Haldir nearly chuckled, for some reason.

"As far as I'm aware he is unattached," he said calmly. "But as a prince, his father has… certain expectations for him."

If he had heard the question prior to learning that the prince resembled her cousin, he might have been worried, seeing their closeness. Granted, even knowing that, an odd feeling came over him that he was altogether unfamiliar with.

Thankfully, Aisling snorted in amusement, drawing him from his thoughts.

"I am not surprised. I mean, as little time as I've spent around his father, I get it," she replied. "Probably wants him to be with the perfect elf princess."

Though for a moment, the smile faltered as yet another contemplative look came over her face. And yet again, Haldir wondered what was on her mind.

"As far as I'm aware, there are no princesses. But yes, someone of that caliber," he said.

Aisling seemed to shake off whatever it was that had come over her and rolled her eyes as she continued laughing. She then looked over at him, her smile true and brilliant.

For a moment, Haldir lost his breath.

"Thanks, Hal," she said softly.

"For what?" he asked, still temporarily stunned, though he quickly tried to recover. Thankfully, Aisling did not seem to notice.

"For this. Being normal with me. Getting me out of my head," she replied.

For a fleeting moment, Haldir felt as though there was something tangible connecting them. A small thread reaching from him to her. But then she looked away and it was gone.

"Anything for you, Aisling," he said softly.

Aisling just smiled and shook her head, her cheeks once again turning a charming shade of pink. She then continued on, asking more questions about Legolas and Aragorn that he somehow managed to answer though his thoughts were elsewhere.

Slowly he was coming around to a realization that was not yet fully formed, but still terrifying in its depth and intensity.

He really would do anything for her. For a small, fleeting moment, a thought crossed his mind that he would dare not speak aloud.

He hoped they never found the wizard. For then Aisling would forever be lost to him.

OOOO

I did say there would be romance... (sorry! Wine posting...)

Thanks for reading and following!