CRUSADE AGAINST THE MOON

Chapter Twelve : A Hero's Grief

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha nor the characters from the show.

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Inuyasha stood with Kagome in his arms, he stumbled a bit before regaining his footing. His sight was still blurring, his bullet ridden torso screamed in protest, his arm ached something agonizing. He grit his teeth, there was no way he was staying in this destroyed village, so he forced himself to walk, pushing through the pain. His hair billowed around him from the force of the flames, a short cough escaping him as he took slow steps out of the destruction. Already nearing the edge, a white slip of paper fluttering on the edge of a tree caught his eye. He walked to it, noticing it immediately with singed edges, and grabbed it with a clawed hand, making sure not to jostle Kagome.

A sutra.

*~-CAM-~*

Kagome awoke in Inuyasha's arms a short while later, a light throb pulsed at her temple. He had brought them back to the river they had napped at earlier. She looked up in the darkness as he hunched over her and brushed his cascading silver locks from his face. Her hand froze on his cheek, her finger tips grazed over a hot jagged purple stripe. She whispered his name softly and searched his hooded eyes which were still golden. It was a small relief, even though his breaths shuddered past his lips, an elongated fang poked at his flesh.

"Inuyasha," she tried again. He had pushed himself too far. Understandably so but, the poor guy could never catch a break. He remained unresponsive. Kagome looked down at the hand that rested in her lap and took the crinkled paper he clutched to. And afuda. She could barely make the design painted on it, so she tucked it in her ruined kimono sleeve and focused on him alone.

His fire rat armor was soaked in blood. She needed to tend to his wounds. Steeled with resolve, she reached up to the ties at his chest and undid them, then she reached for his collar and pulled the clothing off him, letting it rest on his forearms. She sighed sadly as she took in the wounds from the muskets. She needed to pull the bullets out, but how?

"Inuyasha," she repeated a little louder. This time he grunted and scrunched his eyes, then leaned over her a bit further. "Wake up," she urged him. He took another shuddered breath before Kagome decided to push him firmly, and carefully to his back. "I know you can hear me," she said as she climbed off his lap and reached for his hot cheek. "Fight it."

Kagome tore his sheathed Tessaiga from his hip and laid it low on his stomach, making sure to avoid aggravating his openly bleeding wounds. She opened her satchel and wet the cloths she carried with her in the cold river, then began the task of cleaning his chest. He shuddered under her, the temperature shocked his senses, and a growl escaped his lips. "Don't give me that," she murmured, then turned as she continued to eye him and rinsed the cloth. His blood ran down the river in thin transparent rivulets.

The darkness made way to the colors of the rising sun, and Kagome glanced up as she wiped around his last wound. His bangs stuck wet to his forehead. Kagome rinsed the coth again and put it there, hoping it would lower his temperature. He hissed, a breath sucked in through his teeth. "Inuyasha," she implored. She lowered her body to study his face closer, and sighed in relief as he opened his eyes, lucid with clarity. Yet droopy and tired.

She pressed her palms against his cheeks, "oh thank god," she whispered as she leaned down to press feather light kisses on his fading marks.

Inuyasha would have loved the attention if his body didn't feel like it was on fire. His head split with a searing ache. His chest, back, and arms burned with bleeding wounds. He pressed his eyes together again as his body shook with pain, "fuckin' feel like shit," he groaned.

"I'm sorry," Kagome hurried, pulling her lips away from his face. "I've cleaned you up. You're still bleeding. We need to get the bullets out of you, but I have nothing to pull them out with." She furrowed her brow with worry as he opened his honey eyes and watched the sunrise color her face in hues of orange and pink. She looked ragged, tired, but beautiful all the same. "I thought about using some twigs or something… but I don't want to give you splinters."

"Okay," he said, raising a clawed hand to her face. She gave him a sad smile as she leaned into his palm. "I'll just pull 'em out."

Kagome scrunched her brow as he sat weakly up and leaned on an elbow, a hand went to his chest. Her hands hovered close to him, not knowing what to do. "Be careful," she muttered nervously.

He scoffed.

Inuyasha steeled his nerves quickly, then dove into a swollen wound on his pectoral. He hissed in pain as he dug deep for the small metal object, blood spurting out through his fingers. His claw hit something hard, and he scooped it out as he muttered another curse.

"I've got it," Kagome exhaled. She cupped her hand under his as he dropped the offending object on her. He didn't even wait to do the rest. Better to pull the band aid right off, he remembered she had said that once.

Kagome did quick work to clean him up again and bandaged his front. "How about your back?"

He rolled over and closed his eyes, "you're gonna have to do it."

Kagome shook her head as she eyed his bleeding back. Instead, she took to cleaning it up. "How," she asked nervously. "I have no way of-"

The brush at the edge of the woods rustled loudly, and Kagome leaned over Inuyasha. She braced herself with her palms flat on the ground, encasing his upper half with her body.

A woman stumbled out into the clearing, a child held tightly to her hand. "You!"

"You're okay!" Kagome said and let her muscles relax a bit.

"What," the woman stuttered as more children followed behind her, "what did you expect me to do with all these kids?" The woman seethed with anger. Frustration bled through her pores.

Kagome starred, shocked. What a thing to say. It's not like the kids belonged to her, to either of them, but they were safe now, and that's all that mattered.

Inuyasha began to push himself up, getting ready to give the bitch a piece of his mind before Kagome gently pushed him down. "We live not too far from here," she began. Eyeing Inuyasha nervously and hoped he'd play along. "We can give them shelter."

"Good!" The woman turned to leave but Kagome shouted for her to wait.

"Please, I need to treat his wounds, do you have anything I can scoop the bullets out with?"

"The wha?"

"The bullets," Kagome said as she swept her hands over Inuyasha's puckered wounds.

The woman eyed her skeptically as she let her thoughts come to a conclusion. "Demon wench," she mumbled angrily as she reached for her waist, opening a satchel and throwing an object at Kagome's face.

Kagome flinched back, her arm raised defensively as Inuyasha growled and the woman turned away again. The object hit Kagome and then fell to the ground. Kagome froze in shock as she watched the bitter villager saunter away with the orphans in tow.

A blink, then two. It took Kagome a moment to register what had just happened before Inuyasha muttered her name, drawing her attention back to the matter at hand.

"How, how am I supposed to do this?" Kagome worried. She grabbed the chopsticks on the ground and bit the inside of her cheek. She lowered the utensils over one of Inuyasha's open wounds.

He shuddered, "just fuckin' do it, Kagome." He felt the holes in his chest begin to heal already, but the ones on his back burned from the bullets that festered inside. His frustration grew with every second that Kagome hesitated. He would have pulled the damn things out himself if he could reach that far back.

Her hand shook, the wooden chopsticks trembled between her fingers. Before she could change her mind, she plunged them into Inuyasha's flesh. The poor man screamed in agony as she dug within him, the pain excruciating as she spread his muscles apart, looking desperately through the morning light and blood.

She couldn't see it, tears burned her eyes. Inuyasha tensed and groaned beneath her, his voice growing thick and ragged, claws elongated and dug into the ground. "I'm sorry," she whispered. And then she hit something hard in his flesh. She didn't bother to think, acting on instinct as she grasped it and pulled it out. Inuyasha seemed to collapse in relief from the released pressure, but there were still more.

Kagome gave him a moment to collect himself, feeling worn and beat down herself. "Almost done," she assured him.

"Yeah yeah," Inuyasha groaned. He took a few shaky breaths before answering, "just finish up already."

He didn't even have a moment of reprieve when Kagome dug into his next wound. The poor man's vision exploded with white spots, claws raked the earth again, the dirt grinding under his talons as he writhed in pain. He felt himself start to lose consciousness. "Kagom~e," he groaned.

She popped another bullet out. "Almost done," she hissed desperately.

Without further delay, Kagome finished removing the bullets from Inuyasha's back. She watched as his purple markings returned, as his consciousness left him, and he collapsed to the ground like a wet rag. His breaths became ragged and short again. She rushed to her satchel and pulled out another clean rag. She wet it and cleaned the left over blood, then bandaged him up and turned him to his back. Her eyes trailed down to his arm as she remembered the sword that had ripped right through his flesh, and she pulled the rest of his haori off to finish bandaging him up. The cut was deep and long going from the edge of his wrist and almost to his elbow. What she would give for disinfectant right now. She did the best she could even though what he really needed now were stitches. That one was definitely going to take a while to heal.

After she finished, she sat back and deflated with exhaustion. There went their sleep schedule!

Inuyasha's breathing had returned to normal, and his jagged stripes were receding as well. All in all, she concluded she did a damn good job with her limited materials. As she closed her eyes and leaned back, she could feel a stretch and flaking on her face. She reached up and scratched a particular itchy dry spot. Her eyes widened in horror as she looked at the red she'd scraped with her finger. Was that… was that dry blood on her face?

She turned and splashed her face in the river, rubbing at it under the water with fervor. Flashes of the baby and mother's last moments crossed her mind's eye, and she fought the urge to wretch and cry. Kagome pulled her face out of the river and gasped for air as her hands shook before her. The reality of what she'd witnessed sank in. She had killed people, so many, she had lost track. Now that the sun had risen fully, she could see the deep crimson stains all over her precious kimono, it was absolutely ruined and covered in death.

Without a second thought, Kagome rushed fully clothed into the water, biting back a curse as the cold temperature shocked her. She pulled at the fire rat obi Inuyasha had so graciously made for her and wrenched her robes apart, letting them fall down to her elbows as she sat on her bent legs and scrubbed, and cried, and scrubbed with all her might.

She couldn't see anymore, her vision completely blinded by her tears, her heart fell apart with guilt, with disgust. How could she? How could she have done that? How could she ever atone for her wretched actions? How had she even been able to use her spiritual powers? Everything was ruined, absolutely everything. The village, those lives, her future, her precious kimono, and Inuyasha… oh what would he think of her now?

Kagome hunched over and hugged herself, letting her cries take over. She was a horrible person, a killer. This is not who she wanted to be.

"Kagome.." Inuyasha whispered, and she froze, not daring to look at him now. She could hear him move, his haori rustled against the grass.

A moment passed as she stared down at her now pink kimono, and the tears fell silently down her face. She heard him grunt, then get to the edge of the river. Her shoulders tensed, "don't!" And he froze.

"What's wrong?" He asked quietly, voice gentle in a way he only used for her. Kagome shook her head.

"I can't!" She sobbed, crushing her eyes closed and leaned over again, her body shaking with regret.

Inuyasha was quiet for a moment as he watched her, his ears pressed down to his head. She looked so small and fragile in the wide open river, crying her grief to the world. He felt like shit, physically, yeah, but emotionally as well. He knew there was no way he'd be able to fix this, fix her internal struggle. She'd have to learn to live with what she'd done. But, he decided as he took a step into the rushing water, making his way to her, the least he could do is let her know he was there. She wouldn't have to deal with this alone.

Inuyasha kneeled behind her. He ignored the biting cold liquid through his pants and reached around her, hugging her tightly as she struggled to escape his grasp.

"Let go," she whined mournfully, her cries increasing from his comforting hold, "I don't deserve this." Her eyes hurt so bad, everything hurt.

"Yes, you do, Kagome." He pulled her flush against his bare chest, the skin of her back was so cold. "You did nothing wrong."

"I did!" She cried, "I did! I - I," I killed people. I'm a murderer! She couldn't even dare to voice her thoughts, the words too horrible to speak into existence.

She clutched his arms to her bare chest, an anchor to her frantic mind. "You saved people, Kagome."

"No," she cried, shaking her head as she leaned forward and away from him.

He pulled her flush against him again, the wet tips of his silver hair stuck to her arms, "you did." He continued, "You saved people, you did what you had to do, and it's okay."

Finally, Kagome sagged in his arms and leaned her head back, resting it on his chest with exhaustion, but she continued to cry. "I'm a horrible person," she whispered shakily as she looked up at the bright blue sky.

Inuyasha grunted as he pressed his jaw over her wet hair, "you saved at least a couple dozen children, a horrible person wouldn't have done that."

"I ruined my kimono," she fret.

"To save other people."

"You told me to never take it off," she continued her pity party.

He scoffed, "I'll have another one made. Just keep the obi, that's the important part."

Kagome closed her eyes as she leaned against him, allowing herself to enjoy the heat transferring from his hot body to hers. He felt so good. Not that she deserved it, but, since he seemed to be fighting her on this one, and was clearly not letting up, she decided to indulge in the comfort he gave. His clawed thumb pressed soft but firm circles on her forearm. She sighed, "why are you so amazing?"

Inuyasha snorted, "am not."

She turned suddenly in his arms, her brow furrowed as he leaned back to give her some space, her hands lay over her exposed chest, "yes," she said with a sudden sense of determination in her voice, "you are."

Before he could respond, Kagome released herself and reached up to his face. She pressed her hands against his cheeks and pulled herself up to him. His face flared with heat, embarrassment reddened his features at seeing her, really seeing her, and his golden eyes flew wide open as she pressed her lips against his. A quick moment passed where he was too shocked to respond. His ears went rigid atop his head as he registered how her chest pressed softly against his. His whole body stiffened before he finally responded, closing his eyes and leaning forward, he pulled her face close with his clawed hands, returning her kiss urgently as she wound her arms around his neck, pressing herself impossibly closer to him, flesh to flesh.

They pulled apart for the briefest of moments, gray and golden eyes hooded, taking each other in as they angled and came together again, lips parted, kiss deepening. Kagome raised herself to her knees, relishing in the feel of him. Relief and urgency healing her wounded heart.

Inuyasha leaned back, letting her dominate this dance as he trailed his hands down the skin of her ribs for the first time, then the swell of her hips. She was still cold and wet. He could feel the tips of her hair brush against his knuckles. The sensation was maddening. His heart rate quickened as he tasted her, sweet, sad, and wholly her. He wrapped his arms around her tiny waist as they pulled away and kissed again.

This was new, they had never gone this far before. Sure they'd made out, but they always had clothes on. Feeling a hunger in his gut, Inuyasha bit down on her bottom lip, excitement burning through his blood at her sharp inhale, and he tugged at it, sucking the plump flesh before letting go.

Kagome pulled back, eyes glossy, her breath rushing from the affection. She smiled coyly, her cheeks dusted pink with embarrassment. That was… that was something else. Inuyasha watched as she leaned forward and pecked him before sitting back on her legs. He let her slide from his grip, his hands gliding to her arms as she raised them to cover herself demurely.

"You okay now?" He half joked, pushing a lock of midnight hair from her face.

She pouted and gave him a look, "no." Brows furrowed, "but a little better."

He chuckled and helped her to her feet. "Okay then," he said, letting her fix her clothes over her shoulders. "Let's get going. We'll need to stop at a village to get you a new kimono before going to Kaede's." He would have draped his haori over her if it weren't completely covered in blood already. Hopefully, it will fix itself up before then.

Kagome nodded, letting him pull her from the water with her hand tucked warmly in his. She tried not to let her thoughts linger and bring her down. She knew there was no way she'd forget what she'd gone through, but Inuyasha was right. She'd done it to save people, and she latched onto that fact desperately as their weary bodies entered the woods.

*-~CAM~-*

Holy moly! I finished college! w00T! Expect regular updates from now on. There is no schedule but I'm aiming for one chapter a month. I've also updated my other InuKag horror story, Little Bird. Check it out! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Happy Inuvember!