Chapter Twenty-Two

The beginning of November brought the first real dusting of frost to Hogwarts, and the return of the Quidditch season. Ron had secured a place on the Gryffindor team as Keeper and it was during his first match against Slytherin that Alaw and Hagrid went to see Emrys, whilst the rest of the school was distracted. When the pair walked into his clearing, Alaw letting out a warning roar so he'd know they were coming, the dragon bounded out of his cave. He jumped on Hagrid immediately and spun around in a circle like an over-excited spaniel.

"Alright, calm down, you only saw him the other day!" Alaw chuckled in Parseltongue, pushing the slobbering dragon back.

"No, I haven't seen Hagrid in many moons!" Emrys protested. "Where did he fly off to?"

Alaw raised her eyebrows in surprise as Hagrid hugged Emrys delightedly and threw bits of steak up into the air for him to chase after. Hadn't Hagrid said he'd seen Emrys as soon as he got back?

"He's missed you," Alaw said, grinning as Emrys snatched the meat out of the air deftly.

"I've missed him too," said Hagrid. "Blimy he's getting big. Big enough for you to ride him properly now, eh?"

"Uh, sort of," Alaw said hesitantly. "I have trouble hanging on, truth be told. You know I was never one for heights anyway."

Hagrid smiled mysteriously and dumped the enormous leather pack he'd brought with him on the forest floor.

"Well, I might have something here that'll help with that," he said. He undid the buckles and ties holding the pack together and when it unfolded, Alaw realised it wasn't a bag at all. It was a finely crafted leather saddle, complete with stirrups and reigns.

"When did you make this?!" she asked, crouching down so she could examine the contraption more closely.

"Was working on it 'afore I lest on my mission," said Hagrid proudly. "Put the finishing touches on it last night. Well? Fancy givin' it a go?"

Getting the saddle on Emrys's back proved to be something of a challenge. The dragon sniffed at the leather suspiciously and snapped his teeth when they tried to tighten the straps around his legs and under his belly. Eventually though it was secure and Alaw climbed up into the seat. The stirrups were rather far back so she had to lean forward until she was almost lying rather than sitting. It wasn't too different from riding a motorcycle.

"I'll need a helmet if we're doing proper flights soon," she mused as she shifted her weight to test herself. "Something to protect my face from the wind."

"Quidditch gear ought to do the trick, it's warm and tough," Hagrid suggested. "Are you going to sit there all day or are you going to take him for a spin?"

Alaw grinned and yipped a few words of encouragement to Emrys who bolted forward in an instant. Every time his claws hit the forest floor it sent shockwaves through Alaw's body but soon, with a great downward sweep, they launched into the air. It was much easier to hold on with the handles on either side of Emrys's long neck and Alaw relishing the swooping sensation in her stomach.

Turning was a little difficult, Alaw overdid it the first time and leant too far to the left, throwing Emrys off course, but he soon righted himself and she took him around the nest in a wide circle three times before touching down before Hagrid.

"You really are a dragon rider now," he beamed as Alaw slid to the ground, her face flushed and wide grin on her face. "That'd show those ruddy purebloods, eh? A muggle-born being the first dragon rider in two thousand years!"

Her successful flight had put Alaw in such a good mood that she only began to feel a gnawing dread at the very end of the day, when her Occlumency lesson drew near. Snape had sent her a curt message the day before telling her to come to his office at eight o'clock. Alaw's heart grew heavy with every step she took towards the dungeons, despite the fact that Hermione was right beside her this time.

"What are you going to do all evening?" Alaw asked and Hermione patted her school bag.

"I've brough my Transfiguration essay, I'll have plenty to keep me occupied," she assured her.

Before too long Alaw was knocking on Snape's office door and they were told to enter.

"You may sit over there, Miss Granger," Snape said without greeting them, pointing at a chair behind the door. "Jones, in front of the desk."

Hermione sat down, drew her essay from her bag and began to read. Alaw sank more reluctantly into her chair.

"Well Jones, I hope you've decided to act your age this time," said Snape, fixing her with a cold glare.

Alaw glared back and made no reply, though she did grimace when Snape drew his wand.

"You must accept the fact that I am going to see memories in your mind that you would rather I didn't," Snape continued. "That is rather the point of all this, for you to learn to block such invasions. The sooner you master Occlumency, the less I will see."

"I don't really understand what you want me to do," said Alaw, as calmly as she could manage. "I don't know what you mean when you say 'clear your mind'. How do I do that? My mind is never clear, I can't think of nothing!"

"You have no subtlety," Snape sneered. He considered her for a moment and then shrugged. "Although Dumbledore only instructed me to teach you how to protect yourself, I suppose it isn't necessary for you to have a refined technique."

He stood up and Alaw's eyes followed him wearily as he walked around the desk to stand beside her. He waved his wand and his chair levitated after him, thumping down next to him.

"Turn your chair to face me," he said, sitting down again. Alaw glanced at Hermione who was no longer reading her essay but watching curiously.

"What are you going to do?" Alaw asked.

"I am going to teach you a concept that I cannot put into words, it will be mind to mind work, and that works best when you are facing me," said Snape slowly, as if he were speaking to a toddler.

Wishing she were just about anywhere else, Alaw dragged her chair around. Snape told her to sit back in a comfortable position and then placed the tip of his wand to her temple. After a pause, Alaw's vision blurred and she gripped her seat to ground herself in reality. When her vision solidified, she saw that she was now standing in the Great Hall, though it was empty and the tables bare. Like the last time Snape had used Legilimency on her, she could see the vision and Snape sitting in front of her at the same time.

'Focus on the hall, not the office.'

Snape's lips didn't move, rather Alaw heard his voice in her head. She did as she was told and a second Snape popped into existence in the Great Hall.

'Have you heard of what the muggles call a mind palace?' the mental image of Snape said and Alaw nodded. 'Good. I am going to teach you how to make one. A well organised mind may be easier to plunder but it is also easier to protect. If you understand where your thoughts and memories are, if you can visualise them, you can build walls around them.'

The Great Hall faded away and tall shelves rose up on either side of them, the light grew dimmer and mysterious lights shimmered in the corners. Alaw peered around and saw that each shelf had a collection of jars and bottles on them, very like Snape's store of potions ingredients, only the contents of these jars glowed and moved. When Alaw looked closer, she saw unclear scenes playing over and over within the glass. She saw Dumbledore's face in one, and the Quidditch pitch in another, with figures in green and red swooping back and forth out of view.

'Are these your memories?' Alaw asked, reaching out to touch one of the jars. Snape slapped her hand away and in the real world, Alaw cried out and rubbed the spot. It didn't hurt really, it was like the echo of pain.

'Yes, this is where I store my thoughts. This is only a selection of course, the more private a thought, the deeper I bury it. You will only see what I allow you to see. Come.'

Snape began to walk along the aisle and Alaw trotted after him. It felt bizarre, she wasn't really moving, in the real world her body remained still and her eyes unfocused, what she was really doing was imagining herself walking. After a short journey, Snape came to halt and gestured to a jar, roughly the size of a wine bottle.

"Try to take this memory from the shelf and observe its contents," Snape instructed. Alaw hesitated, glancing between her teacher and the memory. She didn't like the way he had said 'try'. The image in the jar was blurred, she could only make out a couple of shadowy figures but no faces. When she reached for the memory something odd happened. Her fingers met some invisible resistance. It felt like jelly and no matter how hard she pushed, her fingers were twisted and turned away from the memory every time.

"So this is Occlumency, is it?" she asked, still trying to touch the memory but to no avail.

"In its most basic form, yes. Ordinarily the barrier is erected around the mind palace, rather than within. This was merely to demonstrate the technique. A true master would allow an invader to think they had broken through and then show the a false memory, or part of the real one, whilst burying the information they truly sought deeper. But I believe that is well beyond you."

Alaw continued to try touching the memory for a little while as she was fascinated by how she was diverted rather than outright stopped.

"And how do I do this?" she asked eventually.

"First, you must learn to construct a mind palace. I will help you do this today and then each evening before you fall asleep you will stock it and protect it," said Snape.

The tall shelves melted away until they were both standing in a blank, mist filled space that had no discernible walls or ceilings.

"You must choose what your mind palace looks like," Snape explained. "Choose a familiar yet neutral setting. I would not advise you to use your family home for example, as anyone breaking into your mind may glean valuable information from the context alone."

Alaw pursed her lips and thought for a few moments before nodding and concentrating on an image. To her surprise, the mist around them began to fade away to be replaced with a large, empty room with tall windows. Then shelves rose again, like the ones in Snape's mind, only these were stocked with books rather than potions bottles.

"The Hogwarts Library," Snape observed, "I suppose that will do. Familiar to the Dark Lord but neutral enough. Now you need to stock it. I want you to remember all the things you have done today, from the moment you woke up, and file them away in the library."

Alaw did as she was told and as each memory formed in her mind, a book appeared in her hands and she placed in on a shelf beside her. As she filed away the image of her eating breakfast she paused. She'd gone to see Emrys shortly after this and she certainly didn't want Snape seeing that.

"Can you see all these memories?" she asked and Snape raised an eyebrow.

"Only if I wanted to, why? Have you been doing something illicit today?"

"If I have, it's none of your business," Alaw snapped. Snape glowered at her but Alaw glared right back.

"Just get on with it," Snape griped. "I have no interest in your petty crimes."

Alaw hesitated but then continued as there was really no other choice. It took a surprisingly long time to catalogue everything she had done that day but in the end she was done and she turned to look expectantly at Snape.

"Now, you must build a wall around your memories. Take me to the door of the library."

Alaw walked along the shelves and out into the open space near the entrance. As she passed the check-out desk she glanced at it. It was odd to not see Madam Pince sitting there but even as Alaw thought this, a shadowy figure appeared there, it's head bent over a book. When she came to the doors she saw they were open and the second floor corridor stretched out beyond them. Snape stepped through the doors.

"Close them," he instructed, "And lock them. Then come back to my office,"

Alaw closed the doors on him and then turned the latch. Once it had clicked into place she blinked in the real world and glanced around Snape's office. Her head suddenly spun and she pressed her hands to her eyes with a pained groan.

"Al?" Hermione asked in concern, getting up from her chair and walking to place a hand on Alaw's shoulder.

"She's fine. Sit down, Miss Granger," Snape snapped. He didn't appear fatigued at all and got up from his chair. Alaw heard him messing around with bottles as she continued to massage her temples and then found a glass shoved into her hand.

"Drink that," Snape ordered. Alaw sniffed the concoction and wrinkled her nose. It was clear but fizzing like lemonade. Under Snape's stern gaze she took a gulp and coughed on the harsh taste.

"What the hell is this?!" she demanded.

"Something to clear your head. If you don't want it, by all means put it aside and suffer the headache," Snape retorted.

As he said it, Alaw noticed that the throbbing in her head had eased slightly so she grumpily downed the rest of it.

"Now what?" she asked and Snape eyed her critically.

"Now I will attempt to break into your mind. Only once, to see how the new defences hold up, and then I think we shall call it a night. If we continue any further I think you'll probably pass out."

Snape raised his wand and Alaw braced herself for the onslaught.

"Legilimens!"

Alaw reeled in her chair and in her mind's eye found herself back in the library. The double doors buckled and flew open with a deafening bang. She herself was thrown off her feet and landed flat on her back a few feet back. Gasping for breath, she raised her head and saw Snape step through the doors and sneer at her.

"Well that was a spectacular failure," Snape said in the real world. Alaw blinked rapidly and swallowed several times as a wave of nausea swept over her. "Next time you will do better."

Wanker, she thought bitterly.

The following morning Alaw trudged across the lawn to their Care of Magical Creatures class with heavy eyes. Her head was still pounding after Snape's intrusion and she could barely walk in a straight line.

"Did you do the exercises Snape gave you before going to sleep?" Hermione asked and Alaw shook her head.

"No," she mumbled. "I was so knackered that I fell right asleep. But I'll do them tonight, I swear."

Hermione shot her a look of disapproval but then her expression chanced to alarm when she looked towards the cabin. Alaw followed her gaze and swore under her breath. Professor Umbridge was standing on Hagrid's front porch, scribbling something in her clipboard with a smug look on her face. Hagrid pottered off to one side and glanced nervously at the High Inquisitor.

"Oh this is not going to be good," Ron muttered.

An inspection, Alaw felt sick to her stomach.

"Come on now, the bell rang five minutes ago!" Hagrid called to the approaching students. They gathered around the porch and with another shifty look towards Umbridge, Hagrid began his lesson.

"Right, got something really special to show ye today, been saving 'em for your third years. But we'll need to take a little trip into the forest."

Alaw wasn't the only one to glance at her friends in mild horror.

"Are you aware that the forest is out of bounds to students?" Professor Umbridge piped up. Alaw winced as she spoke in a loud, slow voice that echoed all around the grounds. Hagrid waved a hand in reassurance.

"Don't worry, professor, I've already gotten permission from Dumbledore for this 'ere trip. An' we won't be going far."

Umbridge's eyes narrowed and she began scribbling something on her clip-board. Hagrid hefted what seemed like half a dead cow over his shoulder and headed into the trees, with the dozen or so students following in a huddle groups. Alaw lengthened her strides so she could walk beside Hagrid and leave the stumpy Professor Umbridge at the back of the group.

"You're not taking us near the nest are you?" she muttered from the corner of her mouth.

"Don't be stupid, we're just going a little ways down the path."

"And what are you showing us?" Hermione panted having also caught up but Hagrid only tapped the side of his nose, grinning.

It was true that they'd only walked for about five minutes before Hagrid stopped and deposited his carcass on the ground. The path stretched on ahead of them deeper into the forest, but this patch only had a few sparce trees and passed for a small clearing.

"Gather round'," Hagrid encouraged. "Now, they'll be attracted by the smell of the meat but I'm goin' ter give 'em a call anyway, cause they like ter know it's me."

None of the students were reassured by this, they were all still clustered close together and most had they wands out. Hagrid shook his shaggy head to get the hair out of his face and then gave an odd shrieking cry that echoed through the trees like the call of a giant bird. Nobody laughed as they all seemed to scared to even make a sound. Hagrid gave the shrieking cry again and another minute passed in which the class peered around trees for the first glimpse of the creature.

Then, as Hagrid filled his lungs for a third time, Neville nudged Alaw in the ribs and nodded at the space between two gnarled yew trees. Alaw followed his gaze and saw two yellow eyes looking back at her in the gloom. A moment later, a skeletal black horse had stepped into the clearing. It had large, batlike wings and pointed fangs. It didn't seem aggressive however and it stepped carefully towards the meat, dipped it's head an tore a chunk away.

"What is it, Hagrid?" Alaw asked, watching the tale switch back and forth.

Hermione and Ron glanced around at her, frowning.

"What? Where is it? I can't see anything!" Ron said and Alaw looked at him in surprise. The animal was mere feet from them.

"Right there you moron," she said, pointing at the horse but Ron looked right at the thing and continued to frown.

"What exactly are we meant to be looking at?" asked Terry Boot. Hagrid put up a hand, grinning.

"Ok, first things first, who can see it?"

Alaw and Neville put up their hands, as did Blaise Zabini. Parvati Patil gave a quiet shriek and pointed, not at the horse, but at the dead cow.

"Look!" she cried. "The meat, what's eating it?!"

Alaw supposed it must have looked very strange to those who couldn't see the horse, chunks of flesh ripping themselves away from the bone and then disappearing.

"Thestrals," Hagrid said proudly.

The name rang a bell will Alaw and the remembered seeing it in her copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

"Hogwarts has a whole herd of 'em," Hagrid explained. "Now, who can tell me why some of you can see 'em, and some can't?"

Hermione put up her hand and Hagrid nodded at her with a smile.

"Only people who have seen death can see Thestrals," said Hermione and Alaw frowned at that, glancing at Neville and then at Blaise.

An unpleasant memory came back to her. Quirell, clutching his face as it crumbled to ash, shrieking in agony.

"That's exactly right," said Hagrid solemnly. "Ten points ter Griffindor. Now, Thestrals –"

"Hem, hem."

As always, the sound of Umbridge's fake cough went right through Alaw and she turned to glare at the woman for interrupting. Hagrid, having never heard the cough before, was looking in some concern at the Thestral, but then he seemed to realise where the noise had actually come from.

"Everything alright professor?" he asked.

"Are you aware that Thestrals have been classified by the Ministry as dangerous?" Umbridge said. She was still speaking in that loud voice as if she didn't think Hagrid could understand English. Hagrid chuckled.

"Don't be silly, Thestrals aren't dangerous. They're dead clever and useful."

Lavender Brown chose this moment to pipe up,

"But Professor Trelawney says they're really unlucky! They'll bring all sorts of misfortune on people who can see them."

"That would explain why I had to see you today," Alaw said loudly and Ron choked on a repressed laugh. Lavender glared at Alaw whilst Hagrid tried to diffuse the situation.

"That's jest superstition. Hogwarts has had a herd fer years. Course they only really pull the carriages and take people for the odd long journey. Anyway, a while back Dumbledore decided he wanted to set up a reservation so –"

"Hem, hem."

Umbridge interrupted again and Alaw gave an audible sigh of annoyance.

"You have not yet addressed that fact that Thestrals have been given the 'dangerous' classification by the Ministry. Do you think it wise to show them to under-age witches and wizards?"

"But Thestrals aren't dangerous!" Hagrid protested, now beginning to get annoyed himself. "No more dangerous than a horse at any rate. A'right, they might take a bite outta yeh if yeh really annoy them."

'Shows…signs…of…pleasure…at…idea…of…violence," muttered Umbridge as she scribbled on her clip-board.

Hagrid went bright red in embarrassment and Hermione rounded on Umbridge.

"Excuse me professor, but you are being very unprofessional. Why don't you let Hagrid get on with teaching and stop distracting him?"

The whole class looked at Hermione in great surprise. They had never heard her talk back to a teacher like that. Umbridge smiled sweetly at Hermione and said,

"Twenty points from Gryffindor, Miss Granger. And a detention with me, I think."

The Gryffindors gave groans of annoyance and Alaw put a protective hand on Hermione's arm. There was no way in hell she'd let her go to that detention, but now was not the time to fight this battle. Hagrid's lesson had already been derailed enough.

"Hagrid, you were telling us how we got a herd?" Neville said. He also had an arm around Hermione's shoulder and was watching Umbridge like one might watch a poisonous snake. Hagrid seemed to have lost the thread of his lesson but at the question he shook himself.

"Uh, oh yeah! Yeah, well we started out with a male and five females. This one here, Tenebrus, he's my special favourite, firs' one born here in the forest."

Hagrid continued to tell them about Thestrals, their care, their behaviour, but Alaw was aware that Umbridge was moving among the students.

"Do you find that you can understand Professor Hagrid when he speaks?" she asked Lavender and Parvati, not at all quietly. The girls glanced at each other and then Lavender said,

"Well, actually I find his accent a bit hard to understand sometimes."

Hagrid obviously heard what she said and went bright pink again. Hermione seemed about to wheel around to say something to Lavender but Neville kept a tight hold on her and muttered something under his breath. Alaw was left to deal with Ron who looked ready to explode with anger. Alaw grabbed his wrist tightly enough to cut of circulation and hissed,

"No! Not now, later, we'll sort it later."

All in all, the lesson did not go well, despite how hard Hagrid tried to teach them about Thestrals. On the way back to the castle Hermione exploded into a furious tirade against Umbridge. Alaw agreed with everything but she had smaller fish to fry at that moment. She kept her eyes on the back of Lavender and Parvati's heads for the journey across the lawn and as they approached the castle, she lengthened her strides to catch up with them.

"Do you have a problem with people who are different?" she called before the Gryffindor's could disappear into the Entrance Hall. Parvati flinched but Lavender's face remained stoic as she turned to face Alaw.

"I have a problem with freaks like you," she spat. Ron, Hermione and Neville had joined Alaw by now and Ron shot back,

"You're a right bitch you know that? Why did you have to say that stuff about Hagrid? He's a great teacher!"

"Oh come on, he's a joke! He's not even a proper wizard, he's some half-breed freak!" Lavender shrieked. Ron started forward and Alaw had to once again restrain him. It wouldn't do to have him punch Lavender and end up expelled.

"Lavender, might I remind you what happened to the last person who pissed me off, right through those doors in fact?" Alaw asked with a nod towards the Entrance Hall. Parvati let out a little squeak and clutched Lavender's arm.

"Is that a threat?" Lavender asked in a trembling voice.

"Of course it is you stupid cow. Now here's what you're going to do, you're going to drop Care of Magical Creatures and never bother Hagrid again. You're also going to stay away from me, my friends, and keep your toxic opinions to yourself. If I hear another peep out of you, I'll be forced to reveal all your little secrets to the world."

"I don't have any secrets! You can't scare me you fat little bitch!" Lavender retorted. Alaw raised an eyebrow.

"Really? Then tell me, do you know Arnold Peasegood?"

It was glorious to watch the colour drain from Lavender's face. She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times the turned on her heel and ran into the castle with Parvati hot on her heels. Alaw's friend's looked at her in confusion.

"Who the bloody hell is Arnold Peasegood?" Ron asked and Alaw snorted.

"Lavender thinks he's some big wig oblivitator, but he's mid-ranking at best. Anyway she had an affair with him over the summer so she can walk into a cushy Ministry job once she graduates. Oh and he's a married man with three kids."

Ron and Neville pulled disgusted faces and Hermione groaned.

"Let me guess, you've been reading letters again?"

"Yep," said Alaw, unapologetically. "Sounds like they're planning on meeting up again over the Christmas holidays. Amazing what saucy things people with put in writing. Some of it made me blush."