Thomas blinked awake slowly the next morning, having slept surprisingly well considering last night's confessions. He had expected another nightmare. The ones he used to have before waking next to Richard was a daily occurrence. But there were none of those, which he put down to having spent most of the night snuggled up to his partner, who had fallen asleep with his arm protectively enveloping him in a night long embrace. Thomas stretched as best he could with Richard right up against him, without waking him. However, despite appearances, Richard was more awake than Thomas realised. Thomas knew he often did this- waking up in the morning but staying in bed with his eyes shut, as if he was still asleep.
Richard guessed that Thomas was waking up now. He himself had woken earlier, but he didn't want to disturb Thomas who was still sleeping like a baby. Despite the fact that yesterday's incident at the post office had shaken them both, he knew Thomas was the one who had been most deeply affected by it, for reasons that he now understands. Because of this he decided to stay where he was for a little while longer, as Thomas needed his sleep. Richard planted a soft kiss on Thomas's forehead. "You okay?" he asked, his first words to him today.
"Yeah. Didn't dream of anything I don't think, which is better than what I expected," Thomas said.
"Good. You will tell me though won't you? If you ever have any such dreams again?" Richard asked, concerned.
"I will, but I don't want you to have to be burdened with my past," Thomas said. "I feel sometimes like I'm broken and always in need of mending."
"I don't want you to keep it all locked away though. That won't do any good, trust me," Richard said. He looked deep into Thomas's eyes, that were still sleepy from the night. Thomas didn't look away. "You're human Thomas, it is okay to not feel perfect you know. But as I said, I know that you are beautiful." Judging by the way that Richard spoke, Thomas wondered if he was speaking from experience or if there was more he wanted to say, but something was holding him back. He knew Richard had his own burdens. There were certain subjects that they never spoke of, one of which was Richard's experience in the war. Thomas didn't really know much about what he kept hidden about that. Richard had only spoken of it once or twice, but Izzie had mentioned things to him, but only vaguely as she didn't want to betray her friend's confidence either, which Thomas respected. But as Richard had said last night to him, they are allowed to have their secrets, it is okay not to share everything. So Thomas didn't pursue his thoughts. If he ever wants to tell me then he will. "We don't have to talk about it again though if you don't want too."
"Never know when the subject might have to be spoken about," Thomas said. "But for now, I don't want to ruin the rest of our time here." Richard nodded. "And I don't want any special treatment either, that will just make me think about it."
"Noted. I won't spoil you anymore than I usually do Mr Barrow," Richard said, feeling pleased that he got Thomas to smile once again. He doesn't like a fuss to be made, I know that, Richard thought, considering how Chris was the same in that way.
"Right, good," Thomas said. He then caught Richard off guard a little by pushing Richard out of his current position on his side in the bed, to being on his back as Thomas maneuvered himself to be almost on top of him. Thomas suddenly seemed wide awake and their abrupt change in position was now being accompanied by Thomas laying a trail of kisses up Richards collarbone and neck, each one falling like drops of sweet honey.
Richard shouldn't have been surprised by how he automatically tilted his neck back into the pillow behind him to allow Thomas easier access to him. Thomas has had this effect on him since day one. "What are you doing?" Richard found himself asking.
Thomas had only briefly stopped his explorations to remove his own shirt, tossing it aside before continuing. "What does it look like?" Thomas said into Richard's hair. "Are you complaining?" Another kiss.
"Nope," Richard closed his eyes, only for Thomas to softly kiss his eyebrow, causing him to open them again by sheer reaction. Thomas looked totally different than he did a few minutes ago, or last night when he had lost all of his security. Richard found pleasure in the simplest, but deliberate of touches. Skin on skin contact on their chest and stomach or Thomas's unkempt hair tickling his face. But when Richard was able to divert his mind away from how good and awake he was beginning to feel, he realised what Thomas was craving. He needs to feel treasured, and he needs to feel in control of something.
"Do you want me to stop?" Another kiss and a hand travelling down underneath the duvet.
Each of them had a rather equal balance in their relationship generally, but Thomas needed to take the lead here and call the shots. Part of a mental healing process maybe, but it was not as if Richard was not getting anything out of this. "No, don't do that!" he said rather quickly as Thomas pretended to lose interest suddenly, a devilish look in his grey eyes. "I rather like this side of you Mr Barrow."
...
Richard lay in bed breathing heavily, red duvet thrown off, missing somewhere on the floor beyond them, sheets tangled amongst his and Thomas's legs. "Thomas...love," he said between breaths, "incredible."
Thomas looked over to Richard, his toned chest glistening with sweat, and not from the warm May sunshine outside either. "Alright, was I?" he asked, though Richard thought he did not look like a person who needed reassuring right now.
"Alright doesn't cover it," Richard continued, turning to face him, so he was now lying on his side. "But if you want a compliment Mr Barrow then I will give it to you." Richard paused and smirked. "Mr barrow...you, are a very talented man." That seemed to do the job as Thomas laid back, arms behind his head. He had a very pleased look on his face.
"You weren't so bad either," he said. God I feel good! he thought, though God had nothing to do with it. Richard sat up and stretched. They hadn't left the bed all morning and it was getting later than they would ever normally be. Thomas was up behind him, in an instant, his arms around Richard's chest. "Where are you going in such a hurry?"
Richard closed his eyes as Thomas spoke into his ear, his head resting on his left shoulder from behind him, Thomas is temptation personified this morning. "Going to clean up and then fix us some breakfast as we have worked up quite an appetite am I right?"
"Mmm," Thomas murmured.
"And after this morning I will get you anything you desire for breakfast. Eggs, bacon, toast. All three. Cereal, fruit salad. We have some chicken left over from last night," Richard thought out loud. "How about fried eggs, toast and chicken?"
Thomas huffed. "You can't have cold chicken for breakfast. No one does that."
"We can, just for this week, do whatever we like Thomas. Then you can be sensible again," Richard said, freeing himself from Thomas and kissing him quickly.
Thomas watched him from bed as he gathered up some clothes from the floor and pulled the duvet back onto the bed. "Richard," Thomas said, just as he was leaving the room. "Got a question for you."
"Yeah?"
Thomas grinned. "How thick do you think the walls of this cottage are?" Richard looked momentarily confused. "You have a good set of lungs on you that's all!"
...
"So where are we off too today?" Thomas said later on, eating a mix of leftover chicken and potatoes from last night, and toast and bacon, with Richard in the dining room. "I decided yesterday."
"Well, I had a thought," Richard said after finishing a mouthful of toast. "We have done, beaches, and woods. Why not cliffs this time? There is a lovely stretch of coastline that we could walk in a few hours, a few beaches along the way. Could you pass me the map?" Thomas reached for the map on the chair next to him. Richard stretched it out in front of him. "Here," he said, pointing to a place called 'The Lizard' at the furthest south point of land on the map. We could drive there, it's a bit further than we have done so far, but as you know that doesn't bother me." Thomas rolled his eyes, though for the first morning he had won the competition with the Aston for Richard's attention. "Leave the car in the village, then walk along the coast to here." Richard pointed to another location of a small cove called 'Kynance'. "The cliffs are impressive there, and there is nothing south of here until the Bay of Biscay and Spain."
"We could buy lunch I think too," Thomas suggested. "It is late and when we were in town yesterday I saw a pasty shop. We don't get those in Yorkshire, as they are a Cornish tradition, so how about we try one?"
"Sounds like we have a plan," Richard said, satisfied.
...
They ate lunch sitting on the grass of the village green, leaning up against the side of the Aston, that was providing them with a decent amount of shade as they sat in the sun. The green sat right in the centre of Lizard village, where two roads met. Behind them was a farm house and then several green fields. To the front and the sides were a mixture of houses, a few hotels and guest houses, and a maze of small lanes containing quaint thatched cottages, the local village post office, the most southerly in the whole country, and several shops. When they arrived, Richard had gone off to buy their lunch from one of the many pasty shops in the village. For a small place, it had quite a few of those, and Richard suspected that they catered not just for the locals, but for the tourists who come here in the summer. When he returned a few minutes later, Thomas had stretched a rug out on the grass next to the car, big enough for the both of them to sit a socially acceptable distance apart, whilst still being in each other's company. Thomas had suggested on their drive that they eat on the back seat, but they were not exactly in a private setting at present. Also, Richard was reluctant to get any pastry crumbs on the seats of the Aston.
Thomas stretched and yawned and pushed himself up into more of a sitting less of a slouching position as he sat with Richard as they rested their meal, neither of them feeling in much of a rush to move. They were in public and although his instincts, that were built up over a lifetime of watching his own back, kicked in when someone looked their way or passed them by, he felt okay here. People weren't really paying the two men sitting next to a lovely car on the village green much attention. They probably had better things to do, or maybe they are just seeing them both as two more tourists, Thomas thought. This place did seem to have more hotels and wealthier looking houses than most places they had visited before, that probably belonged to their rich London owners who came down in the summer to escape the city. Thomas couldn't blame them, it was rather tranquil here. To put things simply- he was feeling good. Sitting on the grass underneath a blue sky, Richard next to him, his body relaxed and satisfied after a morning of fantastic sex. He felt good.
...
"Richard, isn't it this way?" Thomas asked, pointing down a small lane with a few cottages on one side and several fields with horses in, on the other.
"You can go that way, but I was talking to a man in the pasty shop earlier and he suggested the best way to get to the coast directly is if we go this way," Richard said as they headed in the opposite direction to where Thomas had pointed. "We just keep going down here, then we will reach a water pump, where we should turn left and keep going until we reach the lighthouse on the cliffs, which you can't miss apparently, and then the sea."
...
After successfully following the directions Richard was given, they found themselves walking along a narrow cliff path above the rocks and the sea below. The wind was stronger than it was yesterday and the tide was high, so the waves were breaking with more energy over the rocks below. They had walked above a tiny cove with a grey gravel beach. The purpose of cove seemed to be to shelter fishing boats from the wind and waves, as well as it being the location of a lifeboat station, with its slipway stretching out into the sea below the high water mark, ready and waiting to come to the aid of any stricken vessels out to sea when the storms hit.
It didn't take them long before they reached a tiny little valley, with a small gently flowing stream, that fell over the cliff edge into a waterfall. The stream had no bridge, just a few helpfully placed stepping stones, and after crossing these they appeared in a small meadow. Unlike most of their walk so far where the wind and been in their faces and the sounds of the sea all around them, this place was rather quiet, despite the sea only being several feet away. "If we had known about this place before then we should have eaten lunch here," Thomas said.
Richard pulled out his map and flattened it on top of a stone wall. He didn't answer Thomas for a few moments as he studied the map. "Thought so," he said. "Pistil Meadow. The chap who wrote our guide book wrote about this place in great detail."
"Can't see why," Thomas said. "I mean it is a lovely spot, but not something people would be interested to read about."
"It has history, a sorry one," Richard said, grimly. "Local legend says that this field is the resting place of some two hundred sailors who died as their ship was wrecked on the rocks out to sea. There were too many for the locals to bury in the village, so they buried them here."
"Oh-" Thomas said, looking around him. "Maybe that is why it is so quiet here." It was true how quiet it was. On a lovely day like this, Thomas would expect the tweeting of birds in the trees and hedges, the cries of gulls overhead. But there was nothing.
"Shall we go," Richard said.
"Yeah."
They climbed the path up out of the valley, and up onto the wildness of the cliffs once again. Thomas stopped to look back at the meadow and the little cove below. It was a secluded little cove, below the meadow where the waterfall fell onto the beach. The beach itself was tiny, and littered with large boulders and rocks with gullies carved by years of erosion from the sea. It would have been the ideal place for smugglers to secretly sneak ashore with their illegal cargo hundreds of years ago. He was so caught up in the view and his thoughts that he didn't notice that Richard was no longer right next to him. He turned around and then looked up to where he saw Richard standing. Richard was standing right on top of a granite outcrop of rock on the top of a headland, his back to Thomas so he was facing the sea, hands on hips, looking rather magnificent in Thomas's eyes. Thomas walked up to the top of the headland, and climbed over the remains of a stone wall to reach the granite rocks Richard was standing on. Richard heard him coming and turned to face him, his clothes buffeting in the wind. He offered Thomas his hand and pulled him up onto the top of the rock to stand next to him. "Sorry, I left you behind," Richard said, the wind was strong but Thomas could just about hear him.
"I was a world away, it's fine," Thomas replied. He looked down. They weren't right on the very edge of the cliff as that would be foolish in any circumstances, but especially when the winds were strengthening. There was a grassy bank below the rocks they were standing on; a buffer between them and the sea below.
"Pretty impressive isn't it?" Richard said as he looked along the wild coastline in front of them that they were yet to walk along and then to the sea that went on for miles.
"Never imagined in a million years, we'd be here last week when Larry burst in on us," Thomas said.
"It's funny," Richard thought. "But despite how we felt at the time, it was a very good job that he did, or we wouldn't be here otherwise."
"Then I wouldn't change what has happened for anything," Thomas said gently as he faced Richard, his gaze flicking from Richard's eyes, to how the wind was blowing his hair in all directions, to his lips.
Richard seemed to gather the meaning of these looks and his body was willing his mind to let Thomas kiss him, right here on top of the cliffs, as he felt the gap between them closing slowly. Not worth risking, Richard, he thought as the logical part of his mind kicked in. Thomas backed off as well. "Follow me," he said as he climbed back down the rocks and around the side of the granite tor, out of view of the path. Counting on the fact that no one was in the sea to watch them, he found a place below where they had been standing, sheltered by the rocks. He jumped down, Thomas following him who wasted no time in putting his lips on his own as they leaned against a granite wall, a gentle breeze brushing their faces as they kissed on top of the cliffs.
...
"Pass me the binoculars Richard," Thomas said a while later after they continued on their way and were now standing on another section of cliff top, overlooking a wide golden sandy beach, with steep cliffs of serpentine on three sides.
"What is it?" Richard asked as Thomas looked through the binoculars at a strange looking object in the breakwater below them.
"Not sure, something round and metal, something from a ship maybe? I'm not sure. Have a look," he said passing the binoculars to Richard.
"Hmm, shall we investigate? I wouldn't mind solving a little mystery," Richard said. "There are steps down to the beach ahead of us. Come on!"
Thomas found Richard's child-like excitement amusing, and the smile that it put on his face, very attractive, so he had no choice but to follow.
They climbed down a set of wooden steps, cut into the soft clay that made up this section of the cliff, and soon found themselves on the beach. They couldn't stay long if they wanted to have enough time to reach their destination and walk all the way back, but Richard seemed on a mission anyway walking very quickly across half of the beach and down to the sea, as Thomas followed him. The tide was going out by now, the high water mark up the beach behind them. They could see the object in the sea a lot clearer now. "It's a boiler I think," Thomas said. The object was red with rust, but with its cylinder shape, that was the first thing that came into his mind.
"Yeah, from a ship I suppose," Richard said.
"What? No mention of it in your book of never ending knowledge Richard?" Thomas asked.
Richard chuckled, "Um no, the author missed this one. Bit annoying, now we will never know why it is here."
Thomas walked up to him and put his hand on Richard's shoulder, pretending to be sympathetic. "It's okay Sherlock, some things are meant to remain a mystery."
...
Thomas was beginning to realise that his idyllic expectations of Cornwall were not so accurate. True this expectation was met, and had been met, most of the time they had been here. The cliffs they had walked along on the approach to Kynance Cove, definitely met that expectation. Everything was so green, he wasn't sure he'd ever seen a place with so many different shades of one colour. The cliff tops were also decorated in tiny purple flowers, and the sea reflected whatever shade of blue the sky decided to display. However, some areas of their walk along the cliffs, such as the grave of two hundred stricken sailors, reminded him that this was a tough place to live in reality, away from their holiday cottage and Larry's Aston Martin. Kynance cove itself had a feeling of this too. There was not much in the way of human habitation, just a couple of cottages next to a small river that tumbled down over large grey rocks onto the beach and then eventually into the sea. The beach was not the biggest, the tide came right up to the base of the cliff here judging by the lines of seaweed draped over the rocks. Half of the beach was littered in large boulders that had fallen from the jagged cliff above it. The other half was more welcoming, and that is where Thomas laid on his stomach reading the guidebook while Richard explored the shoreline. The beach where Thomas was, had fine yellow sand and a cliff that didn't look like it was going to fall on top of you at any moment. It was like good and evil personified. Nevertheless, Thomas could forget the connotations of the surroundings as he watched Richard clambering over the rocks, looking into rock pools. He looked happy enough, and Thomas was tempted to join him, but he had made the mistake of following Richard's lead and taking his shoes and socks off to walk in the waves. Richard didn't seem to mind the fact that the sea was freezing, but Thomas didn't fancy walking back with wet cold feet. "Anything interesting?" Richard said, as he walked up the beach towards Thomas a little while later.
"I've found a place we can visit tomorrow I think," Thomas said. "What about you?"
"I found a crab, though the little pest tried to pinch me," Richard said. "Haven't been rock pooling in ages though. Not since a few holidays as a child I think." Thomas had no experience of such holidays, he had never really gone on any as a child. Richard sat down next to him as Thomas sat up, closing the book. "Sea is not as warm as I thought. I can't feel my toes."
"That is why I didn't follow you," Thomas said. "Come here, put your feet under my legs." Richard gave Thomas a look as if to say 'Really?' "No one here, and it will warm you up." Richard did as Thomas suggested and shared Thomas's body heat. Thomas's hand just happened to find its way into Richard's who had it on the sand next to him to keep his balance. "We should probably be going soon if we are going to allow enough time to get back, but while you warm up I have found out a few facts about this place to keep that enquiring mind of yours active," Thomas said. He pointed out into the cove at some large stacks of rock that were topped with grass. They were the same height as the cliffs, only detached from them to become islands of foreboding black rock with a steep slope up one side and a sheer drop on the other. "You see that one with the grass on it," he said.
"Yep."
"It's called Asparagus Island because there is a wild variety of Asparagus that grows on it," Thomas said. "Though I can't imagine how you would get up there to pick any of it. And that channel that is carved between those two rocks in the cliff-"
"The one with the waves breaking over it?"
"Yeah that one. Well it was made by smugglers a couple of centuries ago," Thomas said.
"Can't imagine getting a boat onto the beach here was easy. Loads of rocks out there," Richard pondered.
Thomas watched him deep in thought. "You really like all this rather useless information don't you?"
"Yeah, can't help it. It's interesting how things change though that all," Richard said.
...
"Right, which way is it now?" Thomas asked Richard as they came to three paths, one of which would lead back to the village green. They had spent longer at Kynance Cove than they planned and so Richard had suggested they head back to the village following some paths inland instead of going back along the coast. The only trouble was that these paths were not all on the map so they were now taking their route back by a bit of guesswork.
"This way I think."
"You think?"
"Yeah, it seems to go in the correct general direction," Richard said, hoping he sounded more confident than he felt. They followed the path without any trouble, the sky had clouded over now, and there was a bit of a chill in the air as they had become used to the warmth of the sun all day. The path followed the hedge of several fields, and they were now out of sight of the sea and the cliffs. The path eventually came to a stop at a field gate. There was another gate on the far side of the field so they jumped over it and started walking through the field. It wasn't until they were doing this though that they became aware of the fact that they were not alone. The field was home to a decent sized herd of cattle.
"If we don't bother them we will be fine," Thomas said. Downton seemed to mainly have sheep on it's land though a few farms kept cattle. He however, was not a farmer, and was hoping that just his and Richard's presence wouldn't anger the cows.
The unfortunate thing was that the herd of cows also included several young calves. And both men were beginning to walk a little quicker when the cows at the top of the field started to watch them keenly. "I think we are bothering them. They will be protective of their young now," Richard said.
A few cows, ones with large horns, were beginning to move down the field towards them, slowly. "Just keep walking. I don't think running is a good idea," Thomas said.
"Any idea if you are supposed to look a cow in the eye or if you aren't?" Richard asked.
"How do I know? I run a house not a farm," Thomas quietly said back as they walked even quicker.
"Okay we are being followed now," Richard said. I did not get through a war to be trampled by a cow on holiday. They were nearing the gate at the other end of the field.
"That one looks angry," Thomas said as he pointed to a large cow with horns who was at the front of the group who were stalking them. Pointing was a mistake as the cow huffed angrily. At that Richard and Thomas both practically threw themselves over the field gate and into another field that was mercifully empty. The cows reached the gate behind them.
"Not today, sorry," Richard said to the cow as he joined Thomas in laughing in relief.
"You weren't scared were you?" Thomas said as they walked away.
"Nah course not. I'm from Yorkshire," Richard said.
"You lived in London most of your life Richard. I reckon the worst you have encountered is an over tame pigeon!" Thomas teased.
It seemed though that after they rejoined a track on the other side of this field that they were none the wiser as to where they should be going and soon they came to another choice of paths to go down. "Not a clue," Richard said. "I reckon we will have to try one then come back this way if it is no good as I don't think either of us fancy going back the way we came right?"
"No you're right," Thomas said.
"If we could tell which way east was then we could be more sure. When we were walking along the cliffs we were walking west into the sun," Richard said, though the clouds overhead did not help with finding the sun now.
Of course! Thomas thought suddenly. "Richard! I just remembered I have this with me," he said pulling out Chris's compass. He held it out in front of him in the palm of his hand and they were immediately provided with an answer as to which way to go.
Richard smiled in relief. "Chris Webster, I could kiss you," he said to the sky.
Thomas laughed, "Probably best you don't tell him that, but he will be very glad to know that he saved us from a long walk in the wrong direction."
"Indeed," Richard said, giving Thomas a peck on the cheek. Thomas was clearly not expecting that, as Richard saw him blush. Richard shrugged, "If I can't kiss him then I will kiss you in thanks Mr Barrow."
"Bit of a shame this trip today didn't happen a few days ago as I could have mentioned it in my letter," Thomas said. "He would have liked that."
"You can tell him when we return," Richard said as Thomas was left wondering if Chris had received the letter yet.
Notes:
A few notes for context/history
-For those who don't know what a pasty is- A traditional Cornish pasty is turnover of short crust pastry in a semi-circle shape filled with beef, swede, potato and onion, crimped on one side. Legislation passed means that only a pasty that is actually made in Cornwall can be sold as a 'Cornish Pasty'.
-Lizard lifeboat station- The lifeboat station mentioned in this chapter was the third in that location and was opened in 1914. It was closed in 1961 but another RNLI Lizard lifeboat station was opened at another location further along the coast.
-Pistil Meadow is believed to be the site of the mass grave of two hundred victims of the shipwreck of the Royal Anne in 1721.
-The object in the sea that Richard investigated was indeed a boiler belonging to the SS Maud who sank in 1912. When I visited this beach as a child we always called it 'boiler bay'
-At Asparagus Island at Kynance Cove is real and got its name from a variety of wild Asparagus found to thrive there. However, the rock is very dangerous to climb and is surrounded by strong tidal currents. People who have walked to the island at a low spring tide have been stranded there for over six hours until the tide turned again.