Chapter 10

Lanie had been breathing down Kate's neck trying to convince her to go out to drinks together. But Kate, being the workaholic she is, had repeatedly put it off due to a case she was working on. Really she was using that time to spend with Castle. She knows it's wrong to put your boyfriend ahead of your best friend, but due to the fact they were newly together and had to keep it hush, those nights were the only time they could spend together.

After weeks of nagging, Lanie finally persuaded her. They went into the city and found a lively club with music, drinks, and lots of attractive men.

"I'm so glad we could do this," Kate said sitting onto a barstool.

"You are all work, no fun," Lanie asserted. "We needed this."

They ordered their drinks; a martini for Kate and a tequila sunrise for Lanie. Aside from the small talk at the morgue or crime scenes, the friends hadn't had a catching up in months. Sure, they had the odd phone call, but nothing could compare to a night on the town with these ladies.

"So, there's something I've been meaning to tell you," Kate said. "But you can't tell anyone, not even the boys."

"I'm all ears!"

"Well, I'm kind of…seeing someone."

"Shut the front door!" Lanie exclaimed. "And you're just telling me this now? Who is he?"

She knew she shouldn't be telling Lanie this, not after discussing with Castle that they'd keep it between them a while longer. But Lanie was her best friend and she needed someone to talk about it with. Castle had Alexis and Martha. She was on her own.

"It's Castle," she said with a hint of hesitance.

She watched as Lanie began almost choking on her drink. Kate laughed, grabbed a napkin, and handed it to her.

"About time!" Lanie squealed, wiping the drink from around her mouth. "Girl, I'm so happy for you."

Kate smiled to herself and took a sip of her drink. Now she could finally seek Lanie's advice on something that has been holding her back.

"Before you ask, no, we haven't slept together yet."

"You haven't?" Lanie asked surprised. "I thought you be first to jump his bones."

"Oh, trust me. I've wanted to," Kate confessed with a chuckle. "But I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because…I can't help but feel guilty." Going off Lanie's confused glance, she continued. "I told him and everyone else I had no memory of the shooting. But I do." She sighed. "Lanie, he told me he loved me, and I chose to forget that."

"He did what? You did what?" Lanie was speechless and disappointed in her friend.

"I wasn't ready to hear that then," she admitted.

"Kate, the shooting was over six months ago," Lanie pointed out. "You need to tell him."

"I know," Kate said, displeased with herself. "He's probably been wondering why I've been so hesitant to sleep with him. Every time we're…you know…making out I have to pull away."

"I get it," Lanie consoled. "Sleeping with him before telling him would just make things more awkward."

This is why Lanie was the best person to talk to. She would console you when you needed it, but she also wasn't afraid to give you a reality check. Kate was the type of person to constantly put her head in front of her heart, but Lanie made sure that didn't happen.

"He's so sweet, Lanie," Kate said lost in her thoughts. "He's thoughtful, he's affectionate and to top it off, he sure knows how to please me!"

"Someone's in love," Lanie smirked, drawing out the 'o' sound.

"Yeah…," she said blushing ever so slightly. "I just hope he doesn't hate me when I tell him."

"He'll be disappointed, no doubt about that. But he will come around. That guy is crazy about you!"

The girls wrapped up their conversation about Kate's love life and moved on to Lanie's. As a woman who spends most of her time around dead people, she always found it difficult to reel in a live one and get him to stay in her life. Unfortunately, she had never been lucky enough to score anyone serious. Her on-again-off-again relationship with Esposito was currently in the booty-call stage. Tonight, was her chance to meet some guy in the bar and take him home.

"What about that guy?" Kate said, nodding her head in the direction of a tall, dark, and handsome man standing at the bar.

"Mmm yummy," Lanie said, flashing a flirtatious smile in his direction.

"Go talk to him. I'll distract his friend."

They ladies grabbed their drinks and approached the two extremely attractive men. The guy Lanie had her eye on was a little over six feet tall, well dressed and had sharp bone structure that could slice you in half.

"Hey ladies," he said. "Haven't seen you two around here before."

"This isn't my local watering hole," Lanie said standing close to him.

"What's your names?"

"I'm Kate, and this is Lanie."

"Ethan," he said. "Say Lanie, can I buy you another drink?"

"Sure!"

Lanie and Ethan headed to the other end of the bar where Kate could keep an eye on them.

"Kate, what a beautiful name," Ethan's friend said turning to Kate. "I'm Derek."

"Like the character Derrick Storm," Kate said making a connection.

"Sorry?" he asked confused.

"Oh, he's just a character from a book series written by the author I love." Kate smiled to herself, knowing she was genuinely in love with the man she spoke about.

"If that guy is a hit with the ladies then I guess we are alike," he grinned.

"Wow…confident, are we?"

"Look at you," he said trailing his eyes down her body. "I've got a lot to be confident for."

"Okay," Kate laughed. "I'm going to be upfront with you. The only reason I'm here is because my friend asked me to come out with her. Me, I'm in a relationship and I'm just here for support."

Derek nodded and smiled, respecting her honesty. He was handsome, in a Brad Pitt kind of way.

"So, I guess it's out of the question to ask you to get out of here with me?"

"Yeah," she chuckled, taking the last mouthful of her martini.

"Well, at least those two seem to be enjoying each other's company."

Kate glanced over at Lanie who was laughing and constantly touching Ethan's chest. That's when she saw another woman who works at the morgue with Lanie approaching them. They started chatting and seemed to be having a good time.

Derek noticed Kate's glass was empty. "Can I at least buy you another drink?"

"Actually, I'm just about to leave," she said putting the glass on the bar. "But thanks for the offer."

Kate caught Lanie's attention and signalled to her asking if she was okay. Lanie gave her a thumbs up and nodded to say Kate can leave if she wants.

"It was lovely meeting you," she said smiling at Derek.

Castle's Loft

On the ride here, Kate had been planning out how she was going to tell Castle she had been lying to him for the past six months. She knew there was no easy way of doing it, so she just had to be upfront and tell him the truth. Without overthinking it, Kate knocked confidently on the loft door and waited.

"Hey," Castle said surprised as he opened the door. "Come in."

"Hey," she said walking inside. "Lanie and I were just in the city having drinks, so I thought I'd drop by."

"You can drop by anytime."

"I actually wanted to talk to you about something."

"Sure. But first, want some wine?" he offered.

"Yeah, please," she accepted, sitting on the couch.

Castle grabbed the bottle he had opened before she arrived and poured her a glass. He brought it to her and sat down, failing to notice the serious look on her face.

"So, what did you want to talk about?"

"You know how much your head injury scared me, right?" she started.

"I know," he sighed. "But I'm back to normal again. Back to that annoying, yet somewhat helpful partner of yours."

"Yeah…yes you are," she said forcing a smile. "But it made me realise that I've been taking some things for granted."

"What are you talking about?" he asked taking her hand in his own.

"I've done something horrible that I need to get off my chest," she confessed. "I lied to you, Rick."

Castle looked at her questioningly, gripping her hand a little stronger out of fear.

"It was cowardly and selfish…and I'm so sorry, Castle."

"Kate, you're scaring me."

She couldn't back out now, even as much as she wanted to. He needed to know and if she kept it from him any longer it would kill her. It was now or never.

"I lied," she muttered. "I lied about my memory of the shooting…I remember everything."