A/N: Oh my goodness, the amount of research I did writing this chapter is unreal. I am in no way educated in law etiquette/the standard procedures within a courtroom, nor have I ever been to a trial, so if there's something that's not correct my excuse is this being set in an alternate universe lmao. If you are studying to become something that involves you being in trials, please feel free to educate me. Also, thank you for the reviews on the last chapter! My heart swelled when one of you said that you enjoyed every moment of it! Truly appreciated, and very much adequate.
TW: This chapter contains mentioning of miscarriage, and a somewhat detailed description of both verbal and physical abuse.
Happy reading!
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Tess Gerritsen, author and creator of the Rizzoli and Isles book series. Inspiration is taken from both the books and the TV-series Rizzoli&Isles (created by Janet Tamaro/Jan Nash). I am in no way affiliated or making money off of this. I'm simply having fun with their universe.
Just as the Judge entered the room, accompanied by two security guards, Maura heard the door to the courtroom being opened, followed by the sound of heels clicking on the hardwood floors as she turned her head automatically in response, letting her eyes fall on the woman who had just entered. Constance.
She quickly shot Jane a worried look, which Jane reciprocated. Maura then looked back at her mother, who had taken a seat behind the law students, and was currently busy looking for something in her purse, before Maura turned around again facing the Judge.
"All rise," the bailiff, the one who keeps order in the courtroom, said.
Maura was brought back to reality, and rose up from her seat, hearing the sound of chairs being pushed as everyone in the courtroom stood up out of respect to greet the Judge. The Judge, a relatively short, square woman dressed in a black cloak-like gown nodded to the room, then sat down. "Court is now in session," The bailiff continued, and the sound of chairs being pushed reemerged as everyone got seated again.
"Judge Exeter invites attorney Samuel Bright to the stand for his opening statement," The bailiff finished.
Bright straightened his tie as he walked to the front of the room, first facing the judge, "Your honor," he said before turning around to face the room, "This is a case of a fault divorce, I will present the case of my client, Maura Dorothea Isles. Ms. Isles first filed Mr. Faulkner the divorce papers on September 30th, and Mr. Faulkner denied signing the papers. They have no joint finances, nor any children. Yet, this became a case of the court not only because of Mr. Faulkner's denial to sign, but because of reports about both physical and verbal abuse,"
Maura felt shivers down her spine as Bright spoke, however, right now it wasn't because she was reminded of her abusive relationship with Ian. More so because her mother was sat in the very same room, getting to know every single detail about the relationship she had portrayed to be perfectly fine. She had briefly mentioned yesterday, during their phonecall, that Ian had treated her badly- still, she didn't know exactly what he had done to her.
"Mr. Faulkner, however, doesn't claim any of said abuse, denying it to ever happen," Bright continued, "Ms. Isles would wish for the divorce to go through as smoothly as possible, but she would also like to be granted a restraining order against Mr. Faulkner," When Bright had said that, Maura could feel Ians eyes on her, and she knew exactly what went through his mind. Maura hadn't told Ian anything about a restraining order, and Ian was a man of control; he needed to know where she was, who she was with, and he needed to remain in control of both those things- Maura wasn't allowed to go certain places at certain times, or hang out with whomever she wanted to hang out with.
"Ms. Isles is, for obvious reasons, entitled for both wishes. The divorce because she wishes no longer to be married to a man that physically and mentally abuses her on the daily, and the restraining order likewise," Bright said, taking a couple of steps forward towards the judge, "Thank you for your attention, Your Honor" he finished, walking back to Maura and taking the chair next to her.
"What is she doing here?" Jane whispered to Angela as the bailiff invited Ian's lawyer to make his opening statements, "Maur' failed to mention she was in town, of course Constance would pay her trial a visit," she muttered, her mother shrugging in response.
"Your honor," Ian's lawyer began, he too turning to face the room before presenting Ian's side of the story, "My client, Ian Faulkner, wishes to remain married to Ms. Isles. However, he accepts that he, by law, cannot force Ms. Isles to remain married, and thus he wishes to initiate the process by filing desertion where 2 years of continuous separation is required,"
Ian's lawyer was a taller man, sporting a grey suit with a plain black tie. He didn't take up much space, and was quite monotone both in the way that he spoke and the way his body language portrayed him. He seemed relaxed with one hand resting in the pocket of his jacket, the other used to gesticulate whenever he needed to underline his points.
When he mentioned the part about Ian wanting to file a desertion, Maura froze. 2 years of continuous separation wasn't the bad part, as she would be away from him, but it still meant that if Judge Exeter decided to side with Ian, Maura wouldn't be walking out of city hall a free woman. It would be 2 years of agony and constant worrying if Ian would threaten breaking the separation, paying her impromptu visits such as he did the night before. And, what if she and Jane wanted to get married in the course of those two years? The wait would be too long, and though she was sure they'd manage, she didn't want to be the reason why they couldn't marry each other. She then caught herself suddenly worrying about what type of evidence Ian's lawyer would bring up when the time came for him denying the abuse, then she remembered that Bright had mentioned Ian having a witness, and she quickly realised it was more than likely the guy sitting behind Ian. Maura wanted to subtly turn her head to look at him again, but decided not to, instead keeping her eyes on Ian's lawyer.
"He is entitled to filing the desertion, as Mr. Faulkner, too, is a part of this marriage, for better and for worse. Second, he acknowledges that there could have been times where he might have said something that could've come off as abusive, but I ask you, Your Honor, to carefully consider what I have to say next; Every marriage has its ups and downs, and Mr. Faulkner confesses that he is often misunderstood for his directness. In many cases, being direct or employing direct language can be misinterpreted- might come off as abusive. He also describes Ms. Isles as a woman who tends to take a lot of things personal- her isolated childhood being an important factor, contributing to her having certain disadvantages when it comes to social cues and personal interpretation. Some of that goes for the claims of abuse as well. Mr. Faulkner also describes Ms. Isles as a fairly independent woman who has both taken and taught self-defence courses. If Mr. Faulkner was to ever lay a hand on her, she would beat him to it, defending the attack- because of the self-defence courses. Thank you for your time, Your Honor" the lawyer said, walking back to sit with Ian.
Maura hadn't been able to comprehend any of the words spoken by the lawyer after he had accused her of lacking social abilities. It was as if her entire being shut down, her mind going hazy and her vision blurry. He had described her as an incompetent child who couldn't comprehend adult language, as if she wasn't capable of understanding the components of a conversation. She felt invalidated, bullied. He had belittled her, used one of her inferior traits as a reason, basically putting the blame on her side because her charisma skills are somewhat inadequate. Maura couldn't believe it. Sure, she was used to being bullied for it- especially when she was younger. Now, however, if someone teased her for it, she didn't take it as hard as 11-year-old Maura would. But this time, it hit home. She slightly came back to reality as the bailiff called Jane to the witness stand.
"State your whole name, please," The bailiff said when Jane had sat down on the stand.
"Jane Clementine Rizzoli," she said, and it was obvious that what Ian's lawyer had said had disturbed her as well. She had that look on her face, the same expression her face held when Hoyt was attacking Maura, "And, do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" The bailiff questioned, to which Jane replied 'I will', "you may begin, Samuel Bright, please start questioning the witness,".
Bright got up and took the same, centred place where he stood last time, "Rizzoli, how long have you known Ms. Isles?"
Jane cleared her throat in effort to calm herself, "Your Honor," she started, greeting the Judge, "I've known Mau- Ms. Isles since 2009, we work in the same building, and we work on a lot of cases together. I work as a homicide detective, and she's the Chief Medical Examiner. For the past few we've years grown close, and I would consider calling her my best friend," Jane finished, waiting for Bright's next question.
"You're best friends, as you say, do you often pay her visits? Movie-nights, dinner etcetera?" He said.
"I've been over to her house a lot, and, after she got married to Mr. Faulkner, I've visited her both when he has been present and when he has not,"
"Did anything change after Mr. Faulkner came along?"
"Definitely," Jane confessed, no hesitation, "and Ms. Isles' claims of abuse is not something she's making up or lying about- in fact, the woman is incapable of lying, she breaks out in hives even if she tells me the wrong date of something without realising it," Jane gave a small, nervous chuckle, but soon stopped as she saw that she was the only one finding it funny, "Anyways, I could tell something was wrong a couple of months after they got married. She wasn't acting like herself-something was off. I also got this unpleasant feeling whenever Faulkner was around, and he would often give Ms. Isles weird, stiff looks and take her aside to speak with her. She would often come back shaky and pale, and I had no clue what was going on, and I'd never dare to ask either. Whenever I implied that I knew something was up, it was like she didn't dare to talk about it, just talking around it,"
"And have you ever witnessed the two of them fighting, or any sign of it being an abusive relationship?" Bright said, encouraging her to continue.
"I have. The first time I somewhat witnessed the abuse, was on September 27th of 2013. I was on my way down to the morgue when I heard Ms. Isles fighting with someone, and I quickly realized she was on the phone. When I leaned in closer to listen in on the conversation, I could hear Faulkner's voice on the other end of the call. I didn't hear much of what he said, but what I did hear wasn't pleasant. After they hung up, I walked into Ms. Isles' office, and that's when she told me that they had been fighting quite a bit recently," Jane said, anxiously awaiting the next part. She knew Maura didn't want Constance, who was currently in the same room, knowing about the miscarriage. She hated herself for even bringing it up, but it was too late now. When Bright would ask her what she'd been told, leaving important information out would ruin everything, it could even count as lying if Bright had a followup, asking if there was anything more to the conversation.
"Did she go into detail? Or did she only tell you that they'd been, quote-on-quote, fighting?" Bright said.
Jane sighed, giving Maura an apologetic look. She could tell that Maura knew what was coming; Maura's eyes were slightly beginning to tear up, and Jane wished she could just go over to her and hug her, tell her that she hated herself for robbing Maura of the chance of telling Constance about the miscarriage herself, "She told me that they'd been trying to get pregnant, and that they'd succeeded, only for her to miscarry on the 26th. Faulkner had not taken it well, putting the blame on her, shouting at her through the phone," Bright nodded as an encouragement for Jane to go on, "I've previously seen bruises on different parts of her body, but I didn't want to pry even more than I'd already done, so I agreed to meet her later so we could talk about it. I was about to leave work that day when I saw Ms. Isles in the elevator, bleeding a lot. She could've died. They brought her to the hospital, and I tried calling Faulkner who had travelled south to Africa the day before, but couldn't reach him. When they spoke the day after, Ms. Isles decided to call Faulkner and tell her she wanted the divorce, he didn't ever care for the fact that she got hospitalised and surgery as a result of the miscarriage," She finished.
"Had there been any other signs prior to this?" Bright said, taking a step back.
"As I said, Bruises," Jane confessed, "And I tried confronting Ms. Isles about it, but she brushed it off. That was maybe 5 months into their marriage, the first time I noticed them. They were mostly on her arms, around her wrists. Most of them were shaped as if someone had grabbed her tightly, you could see it," she paused, "you could see the contours of his hands. There was a period of time she would wear long sleeve shirts because of the bruises. Occasionally she would have bruising around her neck, and on her collarbones as well,"
"I believe you brought some photographical evidence?" Bright said, walking towards Jane so she could hand him a folder with four pictures. Bright then went over to the judge, opening the folder and removing the photos before handing them to Judge Exeter. "Can you elaborate on the evidence, Ms. Rizzoli?"
"The first two photos are pictures from one of the crime scenes we were working on back in July of this year. I accidentally captured Ms. Isles, as you can see, and she's gathering samples from the debris found near the body- we didn't know whether or not there were body parts or simply clothing, so we had Ms. Isles do it just in case. As you can see, Your Honor, a bruise is quite prevalent on her wrist, seeing as her shirt slid up a bit when she was leaning over," Jane explained, trying to look calm and collected, pretending this was any other case- it made it easier, "the two other photos are ones I took when we were having a movie-night at my place, and in the first one you can notice that her neck is quite bruised, even though she was wearing a turtleneck, trying to cover it," Jane elaborated, "the second one you can spot her collarbone being bruised," Jane finished, looking over at the judge who was sat carefully examining the photos.
Jane looked over to Constance, who was sitting behind the law students, her mouth slightly open as if she was in shock, hurt even. She should be, Jane caught herself thinking, glancing over to Maura. She'd never seen Maura look so disassociated, her eyes staring blankly ahead of her, cheeks slightly glistening from a few tears that had escaped her eyes, and her hands folded neatly in her lap. But she knew Maura was paying attention, listening, to every single word she spoke. She didn't know what pained her more- Maura, or the fact that she herself was sitting here lashing out about every little detail. They hadn't spoken in detail about this, and Jane didn't even know if Maura knew how much she actually knew about her and what Ian did to her.
"Ms. Rizzoli," Bright began, giving her the photos back, "Is there anything else that you wish to add?"
"Yes," Jane swallowed, returning her concentration toward him, "Last night I was at Ms. Isles house again, she didn't feel safe being alone home. I was just finished showering when I heard Faulkner come in," Jane looked over to Ian, who was currently receiving a mean glare from his lawyer. It was obvious that Ian had failed to mention anything about visiting his soon-to-be ex-wife last night to his lawyer. She enjoyed it- Ian didn't even know what was about to go down, "I didn't want to make any abrupt movement's to startle Faulkner, so I opened the door just enough to see him standing there, threatening her. I filmed it, and I have it here on my phone," Jane handed Bright her phone, feeling like there wasn't possibly any way for Ian to turn away from this.
Bright went over to the technician, who connected Jane's phone to a larger tv-screen. He then turned the TV around, so it could be viewed by both the Judge, and the rest of the room. Maura refocused her eyes so, she too, could look at the screen.
Before the video even began, she felt her body tense up, the words she'd spoken coming back to her, and it dawned on her that this was how Constance would find out about her sexuality- this was how she would come out to her own mother. At least she wasn't facing her, which helped, but she felt her pulse speed up and she took a couple of deep breaths, preparing herself for what was about to come. She quickly realised that Jane was thinking the exact same thing, as she too was looking at Constance before she quickly met Maura's eyes. She closed her eyes and wished she was literally anywhere else, as if it would actually work. To her surprise it didn't, and the sound of her own voice from the recording jolted her attention back to the screen. She didn't want to watch it, but she also couldn't keep her eyes away from it.
"What about the bruises on my arms, the marks after you threw me down on the floor? When everyone kept asking me about those? Jane remembers," The Maura from last night said.
Ian was standing with his back toward the camera, and his voice was loud, but he wasn't yelling either. Even though Maura was sat at a safe distance, watching the frame of her ex was terrifying her, the way his presence had dominated her made Maura hate him even more than she did. Half of her also hated herself, that even a video of her ex gave her that tense motility.
"How about you stop being such a liar and getting that dyke friend of yours to make up shit about me?" The Ian on the tape sneared.
"Don't call her a dyke, you insensitive jerk," she heard herself say, hating having to relive that smug laughter Ian had responded with, "and you know for a fucking fact that I can't lie- do you have any idea of how much you've hurt me? How much you've tormented me for the past year we spent together?"
What they saw on the video next was how Ian had clutched his fist, but had stopped himself from lifting it. From the corner of her eye she could see Judge Exeter lift an eyebrow, giving Ian a scowling gaze before returning said gaze to the video. Maura felt a slight triumph by what she had just observed, shifting her own eyes onto Ian for a moment, and couldn't help but noticing how he'd almost sunk down into his chair- he was caught and he knew it. The next words that came from Maura's mouth on the video dragged her back, however. This was the part she'd feared the most, and she could feel the adrenaline pumping through her veins, anxiously awaiting for what was about to come.
"The manly-man is hurt because the woman he married turned out to be a lesbian? And, by the way, me being gay isn't the only reason why I don't want you in my life anymore. I suggest you leave now, or is there something else that you wish to say?"
The last thing they saw on the screen before it went black, was Ian turning back around after going to open the door, threatening Maura saying "We're not done here. You can't escape me. No matter where you are or who you're with, I'll make sure you never feel safe again. Bye, Maura,".
The courtroom was soon filled with quiet whispering and murmuring between the few people viewing the trial, and Maura felt herself releasing a breath she didn't know she'd been holding in. She felt as if nothing that Ian had to say now was for any use- the evidence was too substantial. Ian's lawyer walked across the room, whispering something to the bailiff. The bailiff then went over to the judge, whispering something to her, probably delivering some sort of message from Ian's lawyer.
Then, everybody's whispers calmed down as Judge Exeter used her gavel, demanding the court to go back to order, "There will be a fifteen minute recess, I ask both attorneys to come with me to the judges chamber," she announced, and Maura watched Bright leave with the judge and Ian's lawyer. Maura's eyes then landed on Jane, whom was walking towards her as the court room emptied.
"Maura," Jane started.
"Let's speak outside, I don't want to be in the same room as him more than I have to," Maura said, rising up from her chair, her hands shakily reaching for the bottle of water so she could bring it with her.
They both proceeded to leave the room, finding a quieter area further down the hallway. Maura turned the cap on the water bottle, taking small sips. She hadn't noticed how dry her mouth had gotten during the trial, and they'd only been seated for 20 minutes.
"I wonder what that was all about," Jane said, guiding them towards a bench at the end of the hallway. Over the bench, there was a large window, and it felt refreshing as the ray of sunlight brushed against their skin.
Maura screwed the cap on again, shaking her head, "why the hell is my mother here?" Was the first words out of her mouth, "she's supposed to be at her art gallery installation in New York, preparing for the grand opening later tonight,"
Jane knitted her brows together, "I had no clue she was in New York,". Jane wanted to reach over to stroke Maura's back, comforting her, but decided against it. If anyone saw- and it wouldn't matter if they did, it could affect the case. Ian could use it as an argument.
"She told me last night, she's having an art exhibtion in the city. But how did she know when my trial was going to start? And where it was held? Also, I honestly expected her to be waiting for me outside the courtroom, taking me aside to yell at me," Maura confessed, picking at her cuticles.
"Maybe Ma' expected the same, and she distracted her or something," Jane shrugged, looking over at Maura again. She couldn't help but wonder how she would've felt if she was in Maura's situation, she would definitely not want her own mom witnessing what Constance had witnessed today if she was in Maura's shoes.
"Maybe," Maura whispered, "I saw Ian's lawyer whispering something to the bailiff before Judge Exeter called on recess," she said, crossing one leg over the other, "Oh my God," Maura exclaimed, Jane panicked, thinking Maura had figured it out and that it was something horrible, "I forgot- you did amazing. You said what you had to say, and though I hated every minute of it," she said, grabbing Jane's hand to underline her point, "I'll be forever grateful for what you did," She smiled, Jane smiling back at her.
"You would do the same for me," Jane said softly, squeezing Maura's hand, "I felt horrible up there, saying all that stuff right in front of Constance, I felt like I was betraying you," she confessed, guilt all over her face.
Maura sighed, "you weren't. Besides, it's better she found out this way- about Ian and what he's done, she wouldn't have believed it had it been said somewhere else. You were standing in front of a judge, you swore to tell the truth," she finished, searching Jane's eyes, hoping for her guilty demeanour to disappear.
"I hope so," Jane breathed, removing her hands from Maura, once again rubbing the palms of her hands.
Maura shot her a look filled with care, knowing full well that Jane's body language indicated stress, anxiety. But instead of lecturing her on how she could lessen the release of catecholamines- or, the neurotransmitters responsible for stress (as Maura had explained to Jane countless times in response to the detective asking her 'say it in English, please'), she got up in a standing position and encourage her to do the same, "breathe with me," she said, taking three deep breaths, Jane following along her example.
"I should be the one comforting you, not the other way around," Jane said as she let out that third breath, crossing her arms, "I don't want you worrying about me,"
"Jane," Maura began, "I want to worry about you, it takes my mind off of myself," she confessed, "come on, we have to go back," Maura finished, picking up her bottle of water before they made their way back to the courtroom.
The majority of the people who were partaking in today's happening had already found their seats, but a few were still lingering outside the door, chatting. As Jane and Maura were getting closer and closer to the people, they could make out who they were; one of the law students was chatting with one of the women who was seated behind Ian's witness, and Angela was talking to Constance. Maura felt Jane's concerned gaze upon her face, but she kept her own on the back of her mother. As they were getting closer, Constance, who had had her back toward them, turned around facing them. The otherwise opinionated English woman had her mouthed formed in a thin line, silent. And, though Maura met her mothers eyes briefly, she decided to continue into the courtroom, leaving the three others behind.
Maura could see that Ian was already seated, but his lawyer had yet to make an appearance. Bright was already sitting in his chair next to Maura's when she sat down, "What's going on?" Maura questioned once she got seated, putting the water bottle into her purse rather than putting it on the table.
"Judge Exeter wanted to speak with both me and Mr. Faulkner's lawyer," Bright spoke, smoothing out his jacket, "then the Judge wanted a word with Mr. Faulkner and his lawyer alone, so I came back here, I'm sure it's just out of formality, I'm not aware of anything else," he finished.
Maura could tell that he was holding something back, but reasoned that he couldn't say more out of confidentiality. Her eyes fell back on Judge Exeter as she reentered the room, but without the other lawyers presence. Maura could feel her body going numb again, the voice in the back of her head telling her that this was it, they'd deemed her side of the story as made up. Fake. Ian had won. Fuck. She turned her head to look at Jane, who just shrugged at her, Angela leaning over to ask what the hell was going on. Maura could see that they were thinking the same thing as her.
She looked over at Ian, but he didn't look as if he had won, nor did he look happy. He looked empty, perhaps a bit angry. Now this was just a big confusing mess.
Judge Exeter hit the gavel, gaining everyone's attention, "I must say," she cleared her throat, "this is quite an unusual situation," She said as sat herself down behind the raised desk, carefully placing the gavel down. Judge Exeter then straitened her cloak before continuing, "Never in the years of my career have I ever experienced this form of unethical behaviour, that must be said before I preach my verdict,"
Maura tried deciphering both the tone of her voice and her body language as she spoke, in effort to get a gist of where this was going. She could tell the woman was frustrated, judging by the strained tone of her voice and the farfetched facial expression. Why she was frustrated was something Maura couldn't figure out. She tried to calm herself, but held on to the arms of her chair for dear life, knuckles turning white. The numbness in her body turning into slight panic, feeling lightheaded, uneasy.
"Because of attorney Wright's withdrawal from the case, it was in my professional opinion to let the defendant argue his own case," Judge Exeter spoke, nodding at Ian.
The state of slight panic that Maura was in didn't stir as Exeter spoke, Ian's lawyer had quit the case. All of Maura's previous knowledge and memory from reading up on law and jurisdiction suddenly disappeared from her head, she couldn't think- what the fuck is going on were the only words repeating itself in her mind. Maura, who was usually rational and collected in these situation, the googlemouth (as Jane had nicknamed her), suddenly found herself at a loss for words. Even the tiny voice in the back of her head didn't speak up.
"However," Judge Exeter continued, "Mr. Faulkner, our defendant, has instead agreed to a settlement which I now will present," She put on a pair of linear reading glasses as the bailiff came up to her with a few papers, saying a quiet 'your honor' as he handed them to her.
Bright looked over at Maura, but Maura did not reciprocate his initiation of eye contact. She kept a steady gaze on the Judge whom again cleared her throat, "Defendant is found guilty of domestic violence, receiving 3 months of probation,"
All the numbness and panic in Maura's body hurriedly disappeared, leaving her body empty. Maura wasn't sure what to feel, the Judge believed her. Ian was found guilty. Had he agreed on the divorce? Maura thought to herself. Soon endorphins was filling the emptiness of her body, rushing in so fast it made her light headed- in a good way, she found it hard to believe the words that came out of Exeters mouth. Though the endorphins had come in at such rate, she was unable to move, almost as if she did, she would wake up or something- finding out it was all a dream. She kept still, trying to listen even though her ears rang from the rush.
"There is to be filed a desertion of 6 months of continuous separation incorporated into the final divorce decree, and both the plaintiff and the defendant is encouraged to refrain from each other- if Ms. Isles or Mr. Faulkner breaks this separation, the responsible party will be faced with a fine," she flipped over to the next page before continuing, "there will be granted a three-week temporary restraining order against Mr. Faulkner on Ms. Isles behalf, after the 6 month separation has ended,"
Maura loosened her grip on the armrest, relieved that the initial two years had been replaced by six months. Her heart rate had almost returned to its normal pace, yet, her pulse still at high tempo. 137, she calculated as she let her hands rest in her lap, focusing on the Judge instead of her pulse.
"I have reached this conclusion in regards to the evidence presented earlier, alongside the spoken agreement between both Mr. Faulkner and his lawyer, as it reaches both Ms. Isles and Mr. Faulkner's interests," Judge Exeter flipped over the page and handed them back to the bailiff, whom once again mumbled a 'your honor' as he stepped down from the raised desk and found his seat against the wall. The Judge then reached for her gavel and said her final words before tapping it twice against the hardwood block, "Court is adjourned,".
The courtroom soon became full of noise as people scrambled to get out, chairs scraping against the floor and the confused muttering of voices discussing what had just happened. Though the verdict was more of a negotiation between both Maura's and Ian's wishes, Maura couldn't believe what had just happened. She was brought back by Bright's voice congratulating her, and she could feel her own mouth curving into a smile, something wet dripping down her cheek. She let out a shaky breath, her shoulders suddenly feeling lighter, and she whispered a small 'thank you' to Bright as she wiped away the tear that had rested on her cheek.
"Maura," she heard Jane's voice speak amongst the others, and she rose up from her seat so she could take her in a warm embrace, "you did it," the brunette whispered into her ear, sounding just as relieved as Maura felt.
"You did it," Maura emphasised, ending the embrace so she could look at her, "if it wasn't for you, I-"
"Oh my G- just take the compliment," Jane interrupted, giving her the infamous Rizzoli-smile, "let's get you home,"
Maura turned to Bright, offering her hand for him to shake, "Thank you so much, Bright," she said, tears yet glistening in her eyes as Bright shook her hand.
"I'm happy for you, Ms. Isles," He smiled, his voice filled with sincerity, "and, congratulations yet again. You have my number, feel free to reach out," He continued, lifting up his briefcase before nodding politely at Jane as he headed for the room where Maura had been waiting in before the start of the trial.
Jane put one arm on her lower back as they started walking toward the exit, and just as they were about to turn left for the elevator, Constance stood waiting. Maura felt the blood drain from her face; she'd forgotten about her mother when the Judge had read the verdict. She was now stuck between the dilemma of ignoring her or actually picking up the courage and exchange words. Maura chose the latter one, telling Jane to wait for her outside as the spoke. Jane politely agreed, but didn't show Constance any acknowledgement of her presence, walking directly past her.
For a moment, it was as though Constance looked sorry, but Maura couldn't settle on whether she looked sorry for herself or for her own daughter, "Mother," Maura cleared her voice, quickly breaking eye contact, instead looking down at her feet, "why are you here?"
"I-" Constance began, "I had no idea," she spoke softly, yet Maura could sense a bitter undertone to her voice.
"I didn't know how to tell you," Maura swallowed, trying to hold down the lump that was rising up her throat.
"And to find out this way," Constance continued, almost as if she hadn't heard that Maura replied, "I don't know what to say, dear,"
Standing there opposite Constance made her feel like she was 15 again, having done something she shouldn't have, or going against her mother's beliefs. And, she was acting as if she was 15 again. Not daring to stand up for herself, holding her head down and behaving as if she deserved the punishment, just taking it. It was a trait of her own that Maura hated, that she wasn't able to argue against, just waiting for the moment to be over with instead of justifying herself.
Her focus had always been on her bad traits, admiring other people's attributes to forge back the lack of her own. Jane, for example; what she admired about Jane was her ability to stand up for both herself and others. If her girlfriend was here now, listening to Constance, she would've stood up for her. This made Maura realise that if she'd just pretended to be on the outside of the conversation, pretending to be Jane, she could do it. She could stand up for herself.
"I'm not fifteen anymore, mother," She heard herself say, slowly lifting her head up, looking her mother straight in the eyes.
It took Constance aback, Maura could tell, "what do you mean? You're not making any sense," she rambled.
"It's like you're blaming me for having done something I shouldn't, not focusing on what actually happened, but focusing on the way it was told. It sounds like you want to protect your own image rather than worrying about your daughter," Maura whimpered, hugging herself.
"I'm not blaming you for having married that man! I had no clue he was treating you this way," Constance excused, still keeping her stance, and it agitated Maura how defensive the look on her mothers face was.
"We both know that me marrying Ian isn't what you're blaming me for, protecting your image for," Maura stated, yet again trying to swallow the lump in her throat unsuccessfully.
Constance crossed her arms and knitted her eyebrows together before she spoke, "You're right, if there is anyone I blame, it's myself," she scoffed, looking away, "signing you up to that all-girls boarding school, letting you read all those feminism magazines- for you to wound up like this, it isn't the daughter I raised," She finished, keeping her focus on the wall beside them.
"Well," Maura started, not knowing exactly how to feel, "it's a good thing then, that you practically didn't raise me. You wasn't home to do so," she said, the strength in her voice having come back, giving her the power to finally argue against, "so, technically, you can't blame yourself," Maura shrugged, walking toward the elevator.
"Maura!" Constance yelled behind her, making her stop. Yet, she refused to turn around. She didn't want to give her mother the pleasure of seeing the tears that were now running down her face, "I came here today to support you, I thought you would have wanted me there," Constance continued, "I thought if I showed up, that you'd be glad,"
Intuitively, Maura wanted to believe that, but with years and years of the same bullshit apologies and excuses from her mother, she decided that enough was enough. She wasn't 15 anymore, she wasn't about to cave in. She wasn't going to be the one apologising.