Undercover; Day Five

While Chloe and Ella go undercover, Dan and Lucifer are stuck in the surveillance van. Dan gives him some much-needed advice.

"Detective Douche, must you always be so boring?"

Dan rolled his eyes. It felt like muscle memory at this point—Lucifer would say something insulting, Dan would roll his eyes and resolve to ignore him for the rest of his life, and things would go on as normal. However, stuck in the van that the department supplied for this sting operation with nowhere to go or retreat to, Dan was painfully aware of the gun that he had by his side. "Can you just shut up, man?"

"Ah, I'm afraid that's not possible."

"And don't we all know it." Dan grumbled.

"Hey, uh, could you guys at least mute yourselves if you're going to be bickering like an old married couple?" Ella's voice rang through the walkie-talkie, startling both males in the van.

"We don't bicker like a-" Lucifer started, offended.

"You totally do. All you need are some canes and wedding rings and you're good to go." Ella giggled, and Dan put his face in his hands, wishing he was literally anywhere else but here.

"Okay, all of you, shush. We're here to do a job-" Chloe's voice came through the walkie-talkie.

"Thank you, Detective!" Lucifer interjected, gesturing with his hand.

"-not to certify Dan and Lucifer's marriage."

Lucifer made a noise of protest while Ella snickered in the background. Dan even swore he heard what sounded like a high-five between the two women completing the sting. "Okay," Dan started, determined to get back on track. "Have we got eyes on the perp?"

"Not yet. Ella's still making rounds." Chloe responded.

Their murder victim, Stephanie Vera, worked at a prestigious club, normally open to only the highest elite. So when she was found face-down in the club's parking lot, it was a shock to her coworkers and to the regular partygoers.

Then when they found a bloody handkerchief branded with the club's logo—which appeared to be an amateur's last-ditch effort to clean up all the blood—the department figured that the suspect was one of the waiters who were known to wear handkerchiefs as a part of their uniform.

The department decided to send in Chloe and Ella undercover to try and get more information—'It's called gossip, Dan,' Ella had chided—from both the employees and any regulars that attended the club on a consistent basis.

Unfortunately, that left Dan and Lucifer as the surveillance team, and neither could stand the other.

"Alright, keep us posted." Dan finally said, muting the walkie-talkie from his end. He dropped his hands into his lap, not knowing what to do. Lucifer, meanwhile, was sitting as far away from Dan as possible—which, in reality, was only about a foot away in this compact and cramped van.

Dan exhaled, not sure what the best course of action would be. Before his brain and his mouth could catch up, he found himself blurting, "What you're doing isn't cool."

Lucifer seemed almost as shocked at Dan's declaration, but quickly schooled his face back into a neutral expression. "And what is it that I'm doing, Daniel?""

"With Chloe. Parading that girl around like she's your newest plaything."

"Not that it's any of your business, but Eve is not my newest plaything."

"Oh, really? Because last time this happened, you came back from a two-week bender married and with a wife on your arm. That lasted what, a week? How long will this one last?"

"She accepts me for who I am." Lucifer sat up in his seat, his proverbial feathers clearly ruffled. "The Detective doesn't seem to hold that same level of understanding. There are events that have occurred between us that I'm afraid I can't share with you."

Dan scoffed. "I have never seen anyone more accepting of you and all of your-" Dan gestured towards him. "-Lucifer-ness than Chloe. She's the one who's always had your back, always been the first one to defend you against everyone at the precinct."

"Er-"

"She doesn't need me to come to her defense, but I'm just letting you know as her friend that the whole back-and-forth you two have? It's not fair on her." Lucifer opened his mouth, then shut it, deciding against saying anything. He glanced out of the window of the van, clearly wanting to be anywhere else. Dan sighed, trying to put together the thoughts in his head into coherent sentences. "Look, man, all I'm saying is that you need to be straight up with her. Choose a side and stick with it, and if in the end, you decide that Eva-"

"Eve."

"-is the one that you want, then go for it. But that would be making a huge mistake, no matter what's going on with you and Chloe right now." Lucifer met Dan's eyes again. "Seriously, tell me that you don't care about her."

Lucifer didn't hesitate. "Of course I do."

"I mean in a romantic sense."

Lucifer didn't have the chance to respond when they both heard a rustling sound coming from the walkie-talkie—it sounded like an altercation. Dan grabbed the walkie-talkie quickly. "What's going on?"

"I'm still inside, I think Chloe said that she spotted someone outside. I'm already on my way." Ella reported back. Grunting noises could be heard through the walkie-talkie, which Dan assumed was from Chloe's mic. More than likely, she had caught a runner and was in pursuit. Dan glanced at Lucifer, whose eyes were racing quickly, his brows furrowed in concern.

When he heard Chloe cry out in pain through the walkie-talkie, Lucifer was the first to jump up and rush out of the van. Dan followed, but his speed was no match for Lucifer's long and panicked strides. Dan felt for his gun as the two made their way around the club to the back area, where they could audibly hear a fight.

When they finally got there, Chloe had her knee on the suspect's back, already putting his hands in handcuffs. Her back was to the two males. "Chloe, you okay?" Dan asked, holstering his gun.

"I'm good." Chloe got up and faced them. Dan inhaled sharply—the area underneath Chloe's eye was already swollen, and there was a small bruise forming on her cheek. "He got a couple of hits in, but I'll be fine."

Lucifer's eyes seemed to gleam with red, but Dan brushed it off as a trick of the light. Lucifer instinctively walked forward, his fists clenched as he stepped towards the suspect who was still face-down on the ground, hands behind his back. Chloe stepped in his way. "Lucifer, I said I'm fine."

"He hurt you, Detective."

"Yeah, and he's going to jail. There's motive and opportunity, not to mention the fact that he ran." she explained, her voice stone-cold. Lucifer met Chloe's eyes and they softened instantly. His hand reached up and cupped Chloe's face, his thumb rubbing her unharmed cheek lightly. She winced audibly—the bruise on her other cheek was darkening by the minute and the swelling was increasing.

"I'm sorry," Lucifer mumbled. Dan quietly wondered what it was that he was really apologizing for.

She shook her head slightly. "It's fine."

Dan shifted on his feet awkwardly. Eventually, either Lucifer or Chloe realized the situation and backed away from each other. Chloe switched back into detective mode, directing her attention to a few cops, including a frantically worried Ella, who had finally made their way to the back of the club. She quickly pushed past both Dan and Lucifer and briefed them on the situation. She nodded towards Dan and Lucifer in a nonverbal 'thanks,' and followed the cops as they grabbed the suspect and made their way to the station cars.

Once Chloe was well out of sight, Dan finally looked at Lucifer again, who appeared lost in thought. When their eyes met, Dan gave him a knowing look. "I'm telling you, man, just choose. She's not going to be here forever." He walked away before Lucifer could respond, deciding against sticking around for any further mocking from the latter.

Before he left the scene, he couldn't help but glance back to where Lucifer was still standing. He was staring in Chloe's direction, who was still going on as if she hadn't gotten punched in the face, probably multiple times. Dan made a mental note to take Trixie for the night so that Chloe could have some much-needed rest after that altercation.

The buzz around Chloe had soon dissipated, officers disappearing to get back to the station, and Dan could see Ella give her a goodbye hug before she left as well. Chloe let out a sigh, clearly worn out. Lucifer, a few feet away, put his hands in his pockets and walked over to Chloe. Dan couldn't hear their conversation from this distance, but he could tell that Lucifer had finally, for once, followed his advice.

Dan shook his head, chuckling to himself as he opened his car door and sat inside.

Those two...