Once they got to the coffee shop, they headed to the patio. Sara picked a secluded table, far from the traffic. In her experience, people tended to stop often and ask her questions about Thor. She didn't mind answering them, she knew most people weren't used to a dog his size. But this time, she didn't want to be interrupted. She wanted to spend quality time with Ava.
She took Thor's blanket and placed it on the floor next to the table. Then she motioned for him to lay down.
Sara turned back toward Ava with a smile. "What kind of coffee would you like?"
"I'm a plain coffee with cream kind of girl. Never really got into drinking some of the more complicated stuff. I know that's almost sacrilege considering where we are." Ava added with a laugh. "I planned on having the house blend."
"Plain coffee… at Del Java? Oh, the horror!" Sara tried to hold an outraged expression but couldn't manage it. She grinned. "I prefer a strong cup of fresh brewed coffee without all that extra stuff added too."
"I won't tell if you don't." Ava said. She really enjoyed seeing this more light-hearted side of Sara's personality.
"What size do you want?"
That's when Ava realized Sara was offering to go get their coffee. "I can get it."
Sara shook her head. "Have a seat and get comfortable. I'll get the coffee."
"Okay, I'll have a grande. House blend with cream, please." She offered the money to Sara.
Waving off the money with a smile, Sara asked, "Would you like anything else?
Ava hesitated. She was hungry but didn't want Sara to feel obliged to pay for anything else. "No. That's okay. Just the coffee is fine. Thanks." Ava flushed when her stomach chose that moment to growl. Loudly.
Sara's eyebrow arched. But she didn't comment. She moved over next to Thor. "Thor. Stay. Watch."
Ava's gaze darted nervously over to the big dog. Please be a good boy.
"He'll be fine. No one will bother you." Without a backward glance, Sara headed for the coffee shop's entrance.
The door to the coffee shop opened a few minutes later, and Sara stepped out carrying a tray.
"Were you a good boy?" Sara asked Thor as she set the tray down on the table.
Thor's tail thumped a muffled beat against the blanket-covered concrete.
"He was the perfect gentleman." Ava said with a smile.
"Here you go." Sara said as she set a steaming cup of coffee and a small bag in front of Ava.
Ava took a moment to take an appreciative sip of the fragrant coffee. Then turning her attention to the bag she peeked inside. "Oh, a chocolate croissant. One of my favorites. You didn't have to do that, thanks."
Sara smiled, looking a little bashful. "Well, when you brought me a muffin you mentioned you liked anything chocolate, so…"
A delighted smile spread across Ava's face. A treat and she remembered what I like. "You can never go wrong with me and chocolate." She said. Then took the warm croissant from the bag and took a big bite. Her eyes fluttered shut and a moan slipped out as the pastry and chocolate melted on her tongue.
Feeling eyes on her, Ava glanced over to find Sara staring at her with an intensity that immediately brought a flush to her body.
Sara quickly looked away but not before Ava saw a vivid blush suffuse her face.
What was that all about? Is she attracted to me after all? There had been a few instances at work that had made Ava wonder. She sighed. Nah, it's just wishful thinking on your part.
For the first time since meeting earlier that morning, an uncomfortable silence settled between them.
Keeping her eyes on her breakfast, Ava searched for a topic of conversation to break the awkward moment. She didn't want to bring up work. While it was what they had in common, she wanted to move beyond that to other interests they might share.
Ava peeked at Sara through half-lidded eyes. Sara's gaze was firmly locked on her own pastry. Come on, think! Say something before she starts to regret agreeing to have coffee with you.
Ava pushed her chair back out from under the umbrella covering the table. She tilted her face up to soak in the warm California sunshine. "I should call my parents and tell them I'm outside, in shorts, working on my tan. They'd be green with envy."
"Where do they live?" Sara asked.
"Detroit."
Sara shivered. "Too cold for me. My parents live in northern California. I left and headed for Southern California as soon as I finished high school."
Pleasure filled Ava. Sara was starting to open up a little. "So you and your sister both live in Los Angeles?"
"No. Laurel lives in San Diego." Sara shifted in her chair and stretched her legs out in front of her. "You mentioned at work that you'd done your residency out here. You didn't like the cold after all? Is that why you left Detroit?"
Ava had never mentioned her previous job to anyone, not wanting to have to dodge uncomfortable questions. Anxiety gripped Ava and held her tight. She forced herself to be calm. You didn't do anything wrong. And it's not like it's a big secret.
Still that lingering caution remained. Just say yes, it was the cold, and be done with it. No matter how tempting, Ava knew. She couldn't do that. She wanted a friendship with Sara. Starting that friendship with a lie would doom it before it got started.
"No. It wasn't the cold." Ava said. Despite her resolve, the answer came sharper than she intended.
Sara's relaxed posture disappeared. Like a flower closing in on itself, she sat up straight and pulled in her legs, then crossed her arms over her chest. "Sorry. Didn't mean to pry." She said, her voice flat and devoid of emotion.
Ava's heart sank at Sara's defensive posture.
Things had gone well today, and she had enjoyed her time with Sara immensely. Now this. Just tell her. They may share a job title, but she's not Anna. Sara had proven that in just the short time they had been working together. It was time to move past what had happened in Detroit.
Determined to take the chance, Ava reached across the table and laid her hand on Sara's forearm. "You're not prying. I had some problems at Memorial. I guess I'm still kind of defensive." The tight knot in her stomach eased when the muscles under her fingers lost their stiff rigidity. She gave Sara's arm a quick squeeze before retreating back to her own side of the table.
"I understand." Silvery-blue eyes filled with the weight of Sara's own pain and secret met Ava's.
Ava longed to wrap Sara up in her arms and soothe the hurt so readily apparent in her eyes. While she couldn't provide that comfort, she could offer Sara something important to both of them: her trust.
"About six months ago, I saw a young woman in the ER who presented as an attempted suicide." Keeping her eyes locked on Sara's, Ava began to share her story. "Her mother had caught her in bed a month before with another girl and made her life a living hell. She was admitted to psych, and I took her on as a patient."
Sara winced. "That would be tough on anyone, no matter what age."
Ava nodded and then shared a sympathetic look.
"Her mother wasn't happy with me from the start, because I wouldn't tell her anything her daughter told me in therapy." Ava continued. "Her mother also worked at Memorial. I guess she decided to ask around about me, and someone informed her that I am a lesbian. She flipped out." Ava shook her head, remembering the scene. "She stormed into my office and demanded that her daughter be assigned to a different psychiatrist. One that could 'cure' her, not indoctrinate her."
"Christ!" Sara rolled her eyes.
"Yeah. Tell me about it. I thought I was going to have to call security."
Sara's expression darkened. "She didn't hurt you, did she?"
"No. Nothing like that." Ava instinctively reached out to lay a comforting hand on top of Sara's.
Flipping her hand over, Sara cradled Ava's palm in hers. "So what happened next?"
Gritting her teeth, Ava pushed away the anger that thinking about this añways brought. "When I wouldn't agree to stop treating her daughter, she want to my boss, doctor Pruitt."
"He backed you up?" Sara asked hopefully.
Ava snorted. "Not likely. I didn't find out until I had been at Memorial for a few months that the only reason he hired me was because of pressure from the hospital administration to add a woman to his staff. Seems Pruitt thinks women are too emotionally volatile to be psychiatrists."
Anger deepened Sara's voice. "I wish I could say I'm surprised." She raked her hand through her hair. "What did he do?"
"Pruitt decided the situation would be a good excuse to get rid of me." Ava swallowed hard as the emotions of that time threatened to overwhelm her. She was brought back to the here and now when Sara squeezed her hand.
Drawing strength from the hand warmly clasping hers, Ava continued. "He called me into his office and explained that the young woman's mother had just come to see him and was extremely upset. She stated that she had spoken to her daughter and claimed that I had not only told her daughter I was a lesbian, but actively encouraged her to participate in deviant activities."
"That bitch!" Sara blurted.
"My sentiments exactly." Ava said. "That wasn't the worst of it. Pruitt didn't bother to investigate or even talk to the patient. After telling me about the complaint, he put on this patronizing father act as if he was looking out for me. That's when he dropped the bomb. He would make it all go away if I would quietly resign."
A growl rumbled from deep within Sara's chest. "And if you didn't?"
"Well, then as much as he didn't want to seemed embarrassed or have my professional reputation damaged, for the good of the patient, he would have to file a breach-of-ethics complaint against me."
"Bastard." Sara scowled fiercely. "We may have only worked together for a short while, but I know there is no way in hell you did anything you were accused of." Her anger fairly vibrated from her. "Please tell me you didn't resign. Or better yet, that you sued the shit out of him for filing an unsubstantiated complaint."
A tidal wave of emotion washed over Ava. Her family and her lover had been adamant that she quietly resign. Sara's staunch defense meant the world to her. Moisture prickled at the corners of her eyes as she struggled not to be swamped by the rising tide of her emotions. It was a losing battle. Tears began to trail down her face.
Sara reached across the table and captured Ava's other hand. Taking both hands in hers, she began to softly run her thumbs across the backs of Ava's hands.
A loud mournful woo woo emanated from Thor.
Several people turned toward their table reminding Ava they were in a very public place. Mortification stained her cheeks. She dashed her tears away. "I'm so sorry." She muttered, too embarrassed to meet Sara's eyes.
Sara looked over her shoulder and glared at several people who were staring. "Nothing to be sorry for. Don't worry about it."
In an attempt to give herself some time to regain her composure, Ava leaned down and stroke Thor.
Thor's big tongue swiped several times across Ava's tear-streaked face before she could react.
"Ew." Ava sputtered. "I appreciate the sympathy, big guy, but your technique leaves a lot to be desired." She used her shirt sleeve to wipe the slobber off her face.
Sara worked hard to smother her laughter. "He should at least get an A for effort." All evidence of humor fled from her expression. "Seriously, he usually doesn't express that kind of empathy. He really likes you."
Warm understanding blue eyes met hers. Ava swore she could almost hear the "and I do too" that Sara didn't give voice to. Ava bent over and hugged Thor's neck. "He's very sweet." She captured Sara's gaze and added silently, And so are you.
A faint blush painted Sara's face, and she glanced away for a moment. Shifting uncomfortably in her chair, Sara once again brought her gaze back to Ava.
"I… I'm sorry I upset you." A heavy sigh escaped her lips. "If you felt resigning was appropriate, it was totally your decision and I respect that."
"That wasn't why I was crying." Ava reached for Sara's hand and curled her fingers around her palm. "It was that you actually defended me. My own mother was more concerned that it might come out in the local newspaper that her daughter was a lesbian, than she was about what a complaint like that could do to my career."
Sara's hand tightened in Ava's. "I'm sorry your family didn't support you. That must have been awful."
"Oh, it gets worse." Ava knew she sounded bitter but couldn't stop herself. "When I refused to resign and complained to Human Resources and the hospital administration, I suddenly became a pariah." Ava's free hand clenched into a stiff fist. "No one at the hospital supported me. Not my friends, not even my lover. Anna, my ex, was furious with me that I didn't resign immediately. Her only concern was that while investigating the complaint against me, someone might find out about us. She didn't even worked in the psych department. It didn't have anything to do with her, but all she cared about was how it might affect her."
Sara reached out and gently brushed her tears away.
Ava hadn't even been aware of the fact that she had started to cry again. She ducked her head and began to silently berate herself. Way to go, Ava. This will really make Sara want to have anything to do with you. The first time you get together you pour out your pitiful sob story, and just to top it off tell her about your closeted ex-girlfriend.
"Look at me, please." Sara said.
Although she was shamed by her emotional breakdown, Ava forced herself to look at Sara. A gaze filled with a combination of anger and compassion met hers.
"I'm sorry you had to go through something like that. I've seen you with patients. You're a great psychiatrist. You didn't deserve that kind of treatment. Not professionally or personally." Sara added, giving Ava's hand a firm squeeze.
Ava immediately started to choke up again.
"Hey now. No more of that. Forget that homophobic prick, Pruitt. He didn't get away with it, right?"
"Once HR got involved, Pruitt totally backed off. I really think he believed O would resign and hadn't thought about what would happen in I didn't. There was no formal complaint ever filed against me. Even the mother recanted her statement. The official word was that it was all just a big misunderstanding."
Ava scrubbed her hands over her face. "Pruitt didn't care I was a lesbian. He didn't like I was a woman psychiatrist. Or maybe he just didn't like me. And in the end, he did get his way. I left. Under my own terms, but I did leave."
"Well, if I should ever cross paths with Pruitt, I'll be sure to thank him." Sara said.
"What?" Ava was so shocked she didn't even care that people were once against staring.
Sara grinned. "That's better. And yes, I said thank him. If he hadn't been such a total bastard, you wouldn't be here, working at LA Metropolitan." Sara turned a bit shy. "And we would never have met."
Maybe there is something to that old adage "every cloud has a silver lining" A lightness she hadn't felt in months filled Ava's heart. It was matched by the brilliant smile that spread across her face.
"I'm glad I met you, Sara."
A loud woo woo from Thor made both women jump. Carefree laughter bubbled up. Ava slid out of her chair and dropped to her knees. She wrapped her arms around Thor and gave him a big hug. "I'm glad I met you too, big guy."