Full chapter title: Possession by a God of Old (and the really, really fine print of the Terms of Service)

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"Or, well, Tezzy, as you children have taken to calling me." The black-eyed Wybie grinned. "Shame it's come to this, and here I thought my brother gave up on all this nonsense."

His eyes terrified Coraline, it reminded her of the buttons. She grabbed the hem of her shirt to minimize how noticeably her hands were shaking.

"I'm sorry, what?" Coraline's lip shook, eyeing his knuckles, which had indeed been skinned and bleeding, "What happened to Wybie?"

"He's still in here," he tapped his temple with a finger. "I just needed to borrow him a little while. Hope you don't mind."

"Well, give him back!" She insisted, trying to not let her memory of the whole experience with Beldam scare her to tears.

"Let's all take a walk, shall we?" He said wispily, already setting off towards the van at the road. Everyone lined up beside him, all huddled close despite their apprehension to trust the god that seemed to be possessing Wybie.

"My brother has been wreaking havoc, as you well know," Tezzy gestured widely with Wybie's arm in a gesture much smoother and more confident than Wybie would, a dead giveaway it wasn't truly Wybie, Coraline thought.

The entire atmosphere around Not-Wybie seemed different, thicker, more regal. He waved at Wirt in the van, who did a double take before waving weakly back from the distance. He could see the black eyes, even from a distance.

"He would like to bring back the old ways, though he wishes himself to be the only old god to rise. We wants the rest of us to keep to ourselves, to submit quietly. While I don't have so nobile a reason as wanting to protect humans, I know perhaps better than anyone that he cannot rise again. You twins saw him at well, perhaps, twenty-five percent of his full capabilities as you saw him those years ago. Pines children, should he obtain the sacrifices he needs- he will be nearly invincible." At this, they approached the van and tumbled in, Tezzy choosing to sit off by himself as the rest looked to him. "Go on, I'll continue."

Wirt started the van without a word and stared listlessly at the road, the kids looked uncomfortable (save for the thing wearing Wybie's skin who seemed as relaxed as could be).

"That being said, I am quite a bit stronger when I borrow this form than manifesting my own. This is not to be said for Xolotl, or Bill as you twins came to know him, who finds much more power and comfort from drawing from his self-created chaos while I cannot find much power from the forces of my own abilities, which requires a human touch. Memories, the energy of warriors, the embrace of personal growth from hardship- you kids are a battery to me.

"Xolotl, on the other hand, is the warmongers' god. He is fueled by monstrosity, death, misfortune- he is one half of a whole neutrality of balancing forces. Although, unfortunately, said other-half has grown weary of cleaning up after and keeping the leash tight on his dark twin.

"Quetzacoatl, in all his infinite wisdom," the sarcasm dripped from his voice, "is a damned pacifist; a worldly, artsy, lighthearted, useless waste of godhood. He and Xolotl are much older than I, and thus, with the help of you children, and this vessel, I may very briefly keep Xolotl at bay. This is not a permanent ability, however, as I can merely fend him off and not defeat him, as you saw from the woods I can put up a fight, but not for long."

"Why Wybie?" Mabel asked, "Why not Dipper or I? We're older. We've dealt with B- Xolotl before."

"You have been claimed by Xolotl, I may not touch you." Tezzy seemed somewhat disappointed by this too, "You are twins, of which he is patron god. I may not take that which is guarded by him, nefarious reasons or not."

"What about me, then?" Norman asked, shock still overtaking his fear. He and Wybie were not very close, not as close as he was with Dipper, but even he could feel how different this Not-Wybie was from the real one.

"This boy would have died, were I not there." Tezzy insisted, gesturing to his vessel, "You should be thanking me, not asking selfish questions like why I did not choose you. Strange humans."

Coraline licked her lips, reaching out to touch the bloody hand that was Wybie's, but it did not hold his energy in those hands, "He's okay in there, right?"

"Perfectly fine," Tezzy assured, letting something slip in his expression quite close to a smile. "It's just like a toddler nodding off. He can hear and understand everything, just has trouble keeping his eyes open."

Not-Wybie continued, taking the hand away from Coraline that she tried to touch, "It isn't like a movie where I must not only ask permission, but fight to retain control. It's like puppetry, even if the boy was dead I could make him function through my will alone- soullessness aside."

The car, having been stationary for a while, fell silent.

Wirt cleared his throat, "Please get out of my van now."

Everyone slunk out at differing paces, making their way to the front porch. Everyone stood on the porch but Tezzy, standing next to the street on the sidewalk, "I can't approach you know. Warded house, remember?"

A mix of awkwardness and relieved glances were exchanged among them, the lot of them sitting on varying steps of the porch to be closer.

"So what are you planning to get out of this?" Dipper piped in, "You said it yourself, you don't particularly want to save humans."

"I suppose I just enjoy in engaging in futile tasks," he grunted, kicking the pavement with the bottom of Wybie's shoe. "To be quite honest, I am hoping my involvement will inspire the powers-that-be to get off their lazy ass and put him in his place."

"Quetzacoatl, then. Your goal is to get him involved on our side," Dipper continued.

"At this point it doesn't even matter if it's our side, as long as he puts his dark half in it's place. Shutting the proverbial Pandora's box on them both is the ideal, but an unlikely outcome." Tezzy sighed, raising his hands in an oh-well gesture. "Xolotl will likely be very angry after today's skirmish, seeing as he hates my immortal guts and all. He'll be back sooner rather than later."

"Then why don't you just go on standby, lie dormant or something? We want Wybie back, he's our friend." Mabel insisted.

Everyone gave varying signs of agreement, to which Tezzy sighed dramatically, "Alright, sure. I'll give you back your stuffed bear, or what have you, just be more prepared next time. No more doing stupid things like going out on your own," at this, black eyes focused suspiciously on Coraline, "Got it, Coraline Jones?"

"I got it, I got it, just stop using my boyfriend's voice to scold me it's really weird," she cringed, mouth twisted in disgust.

"Alright then, until we meet again, little warriors." Tezzy grinned, eyes rolling back into his head.

Wybie fell to his knees, screaming at the top of his lungs before looking around, "Wait a minute, how are we back at the inn? Cor, did I hit my head?... like, really hard? Why don't I remember? Was I dreaming the whole beating the crap out of the Beast thing?"

"No," Norman insisted, "you were definitely wailing on him, it was just that you were tagged out by Tezcatlipoca and he tagged in to beat him into fleeing."

"That explains why my knuckles are skinned," Wybie sighed, "Really need some witch hazel on this, it stings."

"I'll take care of it," Coraline smiled selfconsciously, taking his hand and leading him inside.

"This whole thing is freaking bonkers," Mabel groaned, covering her face with her hands.

"You're telling me," Dipper rolled his eyes. "Feeling like we're in a series of unfortunate events that just progressively get more and more like a large game of 'how can I top this form of character torture with something even worse'. We never seem to catch a break."

"You mean like Percy Jackson?" Mabel asked.

"Eh," Dipper shrugged.

"Harry Potter, then."

"Yes, exactly like that. Thanks, Mabel. Man what I'd give to be in that story, right about now, instead of this." Dipper exhaled, defeated. "Come on, let's turn in. We should all try to get our minds off this mess for a few hours, maybe play some games."

"Sounds like a plan," Norman hugged Dipper around the shoulder before wrapping his arm around Mabel's too as an afterthought. "Let's all be teenagers for a little while. Be nice to get to know everyone better, don't want my summer checklist to be a total bust."

"You have a checklist?" Mabel choked back a laugh, "Nerd."

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A.N.
Look at me, name dropping like I'm some kind of Hip with the Kids© kinda person. Next chapter will be more laid back, get some character development back in and it'll be nice and chill. Stay tuned. x deathbyinsomnia