Chapter Twelve: The Wellspring; A More Permanent Solution

"Thank you for coming," Kamijo's mother said with a bow before walking off to speak with someone else. I bowed in response, as did Mami.

'For all my lives, I have never been to a funeral,' I said, glancing towards Mami as I stood upright.

'I've only been to one. It was a lifetime ago,' she replied. 'Where are the others?'

'Sayaka is involved in the ceremony, and Madoka and Kyoko are with her.'

'Oh. How is Sayaka?' Mami asked hesitantly.

'Better, I think. Her soul gem is clearing up. The increase in witch activity has led to more grief seeds, and she and Kyoko seem to be gaining seeds faster than they are taking on grief. How are you? You haven't been on a hunt in a while.'

Mami manifest her soul gem. It was clouded, but no more than was normal. 'I'm holding on. I think I'm ready to get back out there.'

I put my hand over hers, covering the gem, and dropped a grief seed into her hand. She looked over at me. 'My last one. I kept it for an emergency.'

'But-'

'I'll get another. Today is not a day to worry about such things.'

'But-'

'I'll get another,' I told her with a smile.

'If you're done flirting, Sayaka wants you to come back here,' Kyoko said. I turned to see her standing in the doorway, waving. I nudged Mami and we went to her. "About time you notice me."

"What does Sayaka want?"

"I dunno, you'll have to ask her," she replied, leading us down the hall.

"Thanks, Kyoko," Sayaka said as we walked in. She wore a black dress that made her look like a professional. A woman was busy making alterations. "I like getting dressed up and wearing costumes as much as the next girl, but this is a bit much. They want me to play Ave Maria."

"Can you?" Mami asked.

"Yeah, on cello. I've been practicing non-stop for the last three days. My fingers are practically worn raw, except, you know..." She nodded her head to the seamstress, who didn't notice. "Now I know how Hitomi must have felt, having so much going on."

"Is she going to be here?" Madoka asked.

"I think so," Sayaka replied. "She bought a plane ticket."

"Why did you call us back here?" I asked, more directly than I'd intended.

"I just, I wanted my family here. All of it. My parents still haven't called me back. It's been four days and they haven't even called! So... You're mom and dad, now. Congrats on the promotion." She wasn't smiling, but I could see she wished she was.

I heard footsteps come down the hall, and turned to see Kamijo's mother walk into the room. "Is it ready?"

"One more stitch," replied the seamstress.

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

The funeral service was a solemn thing. The gravity of it was as oppressive as any witch's influence, and more than most. Sayaka's music had magic in it, different from what she had from her wish, but not completely. It was, perhaps, a channeling of her healing, sent through the music by whatever love she may still have had for Kamijo Kyosuke, or maybe by whatever love she had for the rest of us.

Kyoko had changed into a charcoal gray suit, at some point. She wore the watch Sayaka had bought. Hitomi had arrived shortly before the service began. She'd sat in the back, away from the rest of us. She joined us afterward.

"We only see each other at weddings and funerals," Sayaka said as she walked up, the last of us to gather. Everyone had wanted to thank her for performing and she'd been polite about it.

"Thank you for inviting me," Hitomi said.

"Of course. He was as important to you as he was to me. How have things been in France?"

"My time has been enlightening. My parents didn't like the idea of me taking classes remotely, but they came around eventually. Modern France has been a shock to Jeanne. She collapsed when she saw the gold statue put up in her honor. Oh, and we liberated a ring of hers from a collector."

"You stole something? You?" Sayaka asked, surprised.

"Liberated. It was hers, and now it's hers again. We left a gift in return. There's something else, too, but we shouldn't talk about it here."

"You're all welcome to come back to my apartment, after this," Mami said.

"That would be wonderful, thank you."

Kamijo's mother walked up, seeing a break in the conversation. "Excuse me. Sayaka, can you come with me, please?"

"Sure," Sayaka replied. She pulled Kyoko with her, fingers interlaced.

Hitomi let out a sigh. "This world you live in is strange. I wouldn't say it in front of Sayaka, but... Power brings its own obligations. The ability to protect people carries its own impetus. It's exhausting, but I suppose you all already know that."

"That is part of the deception," I replied. "Eventually, you may no longer feel the need to defend others, but you will still have to fight, in order to obtain grief seeds and prevent yourself from becoming a witch. There is no rest."

"Maybe not," she said, fidgeting with the ring on her finger, "but at least you can share the load. Without Kyosuke... Well, I suppose I never had him at all, just the dream of having him. There's a collective in France. Like us. They call themselves the Enclave. We're not alone, Homura."

"And you're a member of this Enclave?"

"No. Not yet. The first challenge is that you have to find them, or they have to find you. I did, or they did, just before I had to leave. I'll know more once I return, but... I will tell you all later. Excuse me, I should give my condolences to Kamijo's family."

Hitomi bowed and left. "I'm glad she's well," said Madoka.

"As am I," I replied.

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

The air in Mami's apartment was stale. She hadn't been home in a week and hadn't left a window open, but she had cleaned. We arrived before the others. Madoka had stayed to catch up with Hitomi. Sayaka had still been involved with the funeral when we left, Kyoko by her side. Mami made tea and opened the windows. I went down the street and returned with a cake.

"It's lovely," she said.

"It's the only one they had. They were closing their shop when I arrived."

"Then it's perfect." She kissed me on the cheek, then took the cake and handed me a cup of tea. "They know we won't have had time to bake one ourselves."

"You were the one who is worried about having something to share with the others."

"Yes, and now I'm not." She smiled, poured herself a cup of tea, and took a sip. "I've missed my home."

"You were welcome to come home at any time."

"Yes, and then I would have missed you, and between you and my home, I chose you, and I'd choose you again, but I still miss my home." There was a knock at the door. Mami kissed me quickly. "You get the door, I'll get the hospitalities."

I nodded and went to the door. The other had arrived together, or at least at the same time. We gathered in the living room. Hitomi spoke while the others ate. I sat and listened.

"This," she said, pulling a stone orb from her pocket, "is a synthetic grief seed. It was created by Jeanne. After we reacquired her ring, something happened. She has some new power that she says is different from what she had from her wish. However, we know that she has the ability to infuse that power into objects, and that those objects can then be used to treat soul gems in the same way we use grief seeds. Jeanne d'Arc, patron saint of martyrs and soldiers, has been given the ability to care for us, who fight and die for Kyubey's whims. I believe that it has to be more than coincidence, but there's no way we can prove that."

"No," I said, reaching into my pocket and pulling out the ribbon I had received from Madoka, the one she had received from herself in a dream, "but maybe I can. As some of you know, in my last loop, that Madoka made a wish which caused her to transcend and rewrite the universe, becoming the goddess of the magical girls, saving us before we succumb to grief. When I awoke in this iteration, I had been gifted two ribbons, one of which I gave away, not knowing what it did. Then, I was gifted another through our Madoka. These ribbons act as you have described of that stone. Jeanne is a saint, channeling the wish of a goddess."

"Wait, you had that all along and never told us?" shouted Sayaka.

"Yes. I was afraid of complications, if you found out. Fortunately, I had enough grief seeds in reserve that I could keep this secret. It is why I never needed to retrieve grief seeds for myself." I set the ribbon on the table. "I do not know the limits of these ribbons. I require very little upkeep, but I do not know what would happen if others were to use them. I do know, however, that I am the only one able to reset the loop and try a new path to salvation."

"But... If..." Madoka spoke up. "If my wish meant that magical girls don't become witches, then why did you come back?"

I closed my eyes for a second. "I don't know. I have come to realize that there are parts of this world which do not make sense, and that is one of them. There are things which I do not remember from the world that came after the last loop. I feel as though they are being kept from me, though by what force I do not know, nor for what reason."

"Maybe this is your test," Hitomi said. "Or your penance."

"Penance for what?" I asked.

"For whatever it is that you don't remember." She checked her watch. "I'm sorry, I must be going. I have an appointment, then I will be leaving again. It was good to see all of you again, truly. I'll keep in touch, and I hope you all will, as well." She set the stone on the table, next to the ribbon. "This is a gift from Jeanne. Use it in good health."

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

The stone managed to clear Sayaka's soul gem and most of Kyoko's before shattering. The ribbon took care of the rest for Kyoko and Mami, fraying in a way I had not noticed from my own use. I kept my ribbon hidden, woven into the housing on my soul gem, rendered as filigree when it was in the form of a ring. After it was understood that neither the ribbons nor the gifts from Jeanne were a panacea, the others left. Mami and I settled in and made dinner.

"I wish you'd told us sooner about the ribbons," Mami said as we sat on her couch, watching television.

"I know, but explaining the ribbons would require explaining the goddess Madoka, and I was hoping to continue dodging that topic as much as possible. Her existence complicates everything, but... I'm grateful. I'm grateful to have her watching over us. I'm grateful to have you watching over me." I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and leaned into her.

A moment later, she laughed. "We're mom and dad, now. Sayaka's guardians. That means Kyoko's our daughter-in-law-to-be. And I guess that would make Madoka our daughter, too, since she and Sayaka are practically sisters."

"Yes, it would," I replied. "And I think I'm finally ready for that obligation again. I spent so long chasing my own dream that I forgot how to care for others. I forgot how to care for anything but the idea of a girl who died and never came back, no matter how many times I saw her face. My Madoka was a thing that I couldn't recreate. It was someone who cared for me when I was a nobody, powerless and alone, who you and she had happened to rescue me while on a witch hunt. She was someone who was kind and open and welcomed me in, and no version of Madoka can do that if she hasn't made her wish before we meet, and even then it wouldn't matter because I wouldn't need her anymore. Not like I did then. And so I blindly followed anyone with her face and her name, ruining every world I landed in, all in an attempt to pay back a debt to someone who had died lifetimes ago. Every world except this one."

"So, the goddess... Not even she's the Madoka you followed into the dark."

"No, she's not. And even if she had been, she's not anymore." I laid down, my head on her lap. She ran her fingers through my hair. I felt a tear land on my cheek and listened to the storm build outside.

A few minutes later, the storm knocked out the power. Mami got up and led me to her bedroom, stumbling through the dark. She lit candles, bathed the room in firelight, held me and read from the book she kept on her bedside table. It was light and cheesy and we laughed and kissed until we fell asleep.

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

The morning came too soon and not soon enough. We ate quickly and rushed to school. Still, we were late.

"Oh, you're here," Miss Saotome said as I walked into class.

"I apologize for my lateness," I replied with a bow, then took my seat.

'What's with you?' Kyoko asked.

'Nothing, I overslept. Where's Sayaka?'

'Also 'overslept.' I think she's still combing her hair in the bathroom.'

'You were out late, huh?' Madoka asked.

'Something like that,' Sayaka replied, walking into class. Miss Saotome didn't seem to notice her. 'Remind me never to do that again.'

'Do what again?'

'Uh, nothing! I, uh, stayed up too late, that's all.'

'Don't lie to me!' Madoka pleaded.

'She and I got drunk last night,' Kyoko interjected. 'Really drunk.'

'I thought my healing would take care of it. I was wrong.'

Kyoko stifled a laugh.

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

'Homura, it's Hitomi. Do you have time to speak?'

I turned off the show I was watching. 'What do you need?'

'The Enclave just called me. They want to speak with you.'

'What did you tell them?'

'Only that you might have answers. They do as much for research as they do for defense. They already knew about Kyubey's practice of deception. They're asking to do a video call. Now, if possible.'

I pulled out my phone and sent her a message. 'This is my contact information. I will await their call.'

The thought of the very existence of the Enclave troubled me. Mostly, it was the fact that so many magical girls had congregated. It took four of us to defend the city, and I couldn't avoid the thought that either the girls of the enclave had abandoned their posts, or there were far, far more magical girls in the world than had ever previously occurred to me. I wasn't sure which possibility was more terrifying.

The call came a few minutes later. I answered it.

"Akemi Homura?" asked the girl on the other end. She looked older than any magical girl I'd met.

"Yes," I replied. "You are with the organization known as the Enclave?"

"I am. My name is Nisa. I've been asked to interview you on behalf of the team working to understand the nature of wish magic. Our hope is to be able to keep magical girls from becoming witches. Hitomi told us that you may have some insights into this."

"I have many insights, spread across uncounted iterations of a month-long loop. However, to understand them, it requires foundational knowledge which you may find difficult to accept."

"There is wisdom in accepting difficult truths, if they are truths. We already know about crimes of the Incubators."

"I doubt that you understand them in their entirety. The truth of which I speak is a consequence of these crimes, but it is not one of them. First, you must accept that I am a time-traveler who has experienced the same period of time in a way that generated immense magical potential surrounding a particular individual."

"Who is this individual?"

"I do not trust you enough to tell you."

"Alright, I accept that your actions created the circumstances you describe."

"This individual eventually made a wish which caused the restructuring of the universe, creating a being who relieves the suffering of magical girls before they can become witches."

"If this being relieves suffering as you say, then why are there witches?"

"I do not know. That was in a previous iteration, though the being's existence persists within this timeline. I suspect that some being, potentially the Incubators, is interfering with the established process of things."

"I see. And what do you remember from these previous iterations?"

"More than I wish I did, though my memory from the iteration prior to this one is hazy. It seems to be another instance of the being interfering with my work."

Yael looked off-camera, then turned back to me. "Thank you, that is all the information we need. We will be in contact again if we require more information."

The call ended.

'Walpurgisnacht is coming up,' Kyubey said, unseen.

'Yes, it is.'

'You should be preparing.'

'What do you think I've been doing?'

'Easing your conscience. Wasting time.'

'If you are so worried, why don't you go have another girl wish away Walpurgisnacht? And then, when she dies and creates an even greater witch, why not have yet another girl wish that one away? The Law of the Cycle has been broken.'

'The Law of the Cycle?'

'It's... I don't know. Something which I believe I was made to forget about. It doesn't matter. We will fight the witch as we have always done, unless you finally see fit to take matters into your own hands. Or maybe Madoka will wish it away. But if you're not going to take care of it yourself then you have no right to complain about how I address it.'

／/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\＼

Author's Notes:

New Year's Eve is a time for celebration of the past. Some things, we celebrate their arrival. Other things, we celebrate their departure. Mostly, I celebrate that I'm still here and that I have people with whom I can celebrate - except for this year, due to the ongoing global pandemic, but we all stayed separate so we can celebrate together next year.

New Year's Day is a time for new beginnings. It's a time for us to shed the things which hold us back and to pick new paths. It's a time for reinvention and rebirth, for moving forward. For healing. So, from me to all of you, I wish you a (belated) Happy New Year! May it bring you good health and fortune.