Trigger warning for Violence. Read only if you're comfortable. And guys, THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the reviews the past 2 chapters. Thank you Julia1207, Pam, HappyM, PettyBabe, Linda19, Maggie, G-styler, VFBFan, Virgenie for your generous reviews. It really meant a lot to me *inserts sobbing emoji*

Also, can i just say @CakeLoverForLife, you gave me the greatest compliment ever when you said you shifted from MerDer to Addek. THANK YOU.

This chapter was tricky to write, and i did the best i could. Let me know what you think!

You went back to the trailer eventually, the only thing that had the mildest semblance to a home.

Although, you didn't see the point in returning since you didn't manage to catch a wink the whole night.

Images of her tears leaving marks on the floor, her clutches lying on the ground where she once stood, and the way she was curled up on her bed haunted you throughout the night.

When you made your way to the hospital again in the wee hours of the morning, a bleary eyed Mark told you that Archer had brought her back to LA while you were gone.

It took everything within you to not break down then, and it took an awful lot of Mark's convincing for you to not fly to California that same day.

"She needs space. Archer and Naomi's with her. Just leave her be for awhile"

Two weeks, he told you. You can go get her in two weeks.

The rational part of you knew he was right, but each time you step into the hospital for work everyday, you momentarily forget she's not there at the nurses station, or there holding babies in the NICU, and the urge to book a flight to LA becomes incredibly hard to resist.

Life without Addison became routine, go to work, back to the trailer, a bottle of whiskey, go to sleep.

Sam called you one night, his voice solemn and heavy.

"Derek, it's Sam. I think you should come to LA,"

You hopped onto the next flight to LAX and reached Saint Ambrose Hospital within 4 hours.

You learned that Richard had discharged Addie when she left Seattle, only mandating it necessary for her to attend physical therapy sessions three times a week. Otherwise, she could recuperate in the comfort of her own home.

You learned that Archer stayed at Addie's in LA to take care of her, but when she found out that Naomi and Archer had an ongoing secret affair, she had locked herself in her own room, refusing food and water.

Sam tells you that after 3 days of cajoling behind Addie's door, he had broke the door's lock when silence ensued. He found Addison lying unconscious beside her own vomit. Her heart rate slow, her skin clammy and she was hypothermic.

They diagnosed her with alcohol poisoning at the hospital and when she finally awoke, her depressive trance resurfaced. Despite best efforts from Pete and Violet and everyone else, she had shut herself off from the world completely.

The only reaction they got was when she patted Lucas' head gently when he came to see her. Sam called you then, thought you should give it a try.

"Addison I'm so so sorry. I meant to tell you Addie, I really did."

People shuffled in and out of her room, each one of them failing in their attempts to engage her in their conversations.

You learn that Pete is the alternative medicine doctor, Cooper is the paediatrician. Cooper is married to Charlotte, the chief of staff. Violet and Sheldon are psychiatrists. Lucas is Pete and Violet's son that Addison dotes on.

When the both of you were alone, you told her stories from Med school as you sat by her beside, recounted your most thrilling escapades together. Your anniversaries, that time you brought her on a date to the theme park, the day you proposed.

One night, when her eyes drooped close slowly, you chided her softly. "You could never be a burden to me Addison. I made a mistake, but that dosen't mean you get to run from me again you hear me?"

You left after to get hot cocoa, and returned to everyone in the room. She was awake and Violet thrusted a group photo of the practice infront of her eyes, started her shrink talk as the rest remained silent.

Addie merely closed her eyes and didn't respond.

You remember staring in horror during Archer's outburst.

He grabbed both of Addie's arms, and violently hauled her into a sitting position before shaking her whole being aggressively.

"Addison. I don't care how difficult it is for you. Open your fucking eyes and look at me."

When Addie didn't budge, he dragged her out of her hospital bed forcefully and half lifted her into the toilet connected to the room.

You stepped forward to stop him, but Pete and Cooper held you back.

When Archer released his grip, she crumbled into the corner of the washroom like a rag doll, hugging herself as Archer shouted.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing Addison?"

He poured heaps of water over her body, never once lowering his volume as Addison screamed and shouted and pulled at her own hair. Her hospital gown was soaked, and her tears washed away with each bucket of water Archer dumped at her.

She was yelling, incoherent, and Archer was hollering. It was so very loud.

When he grabbed her arms again, forcing her chin up so that she was looking straight at him,

"I need you to be okay Addison. I need my baby sister back please,"

you realise that he might be crying too.

Addison reached for his neck and pulled his damp body close to hers, sobbing and gasping for air all at once.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"

She pressed herself into his chest, muffling her cries as Archer holds her in his kneeled position, kissing her damp hair and stroking her back.

As dysfunctional as Addison's family had been, your heart warms when you realise her bond with her brother was an impregnable one. Something fostered amidst all the bullshit their deranged parents had forced into their childhood, a kinship that hadn't, and never will falter against life's worst challenges because the two of them have been forced to grow up quicker than they were supposed to together.

That night, Archer had fell asleep on the couch first. You were drifting into lalaland when she suddenly spoke.

"I heard you."

She could tell you were confused.

"What you said, in the morning. I heard you."

Oh.

"I love you Addison. I could never stop loving you. Go to sleep."

And she did.

OKAY this chapter sorta had a happy-ish ending, but i'm telling you the angst dosent stop here. It's going to get worse muahahahaha...

SPOILER

You know the scene where Addie breaks down on Sam after Bizzy's death. That was kinda what i was imagining here, and Kate's cries broke my heart so thoroughly when i watched it again.

Can we sign a petition for Kate Walsh to never cry again? Because i don't think my fragile soul can watch her cry anymore.

Also! Western Australia's state government had agreed to fund Kate's crime drama next year. I CANT WAIT.