I awoke the next morning to an acrid scent, my head on the tome which I had finished just before drifting off. I twitched my nose as the foul smell continued until I opened my eyes to see Candor's mad yet oddly playful eyes observing me from inches away. I jumped up, startled, and bumped my head on the loft ceiling.
Candor let out a laugh, "It worked rather well didn't it, Viren?" I was confused, I suppose he was referring to the smell he had made.
"Sir?" I asked, hoping for him to explain. Candor was gazing off into the distance that was the wall with the foul smelling odor still seemingly floating in his hand but was stirred out of it by my words.
"Yes, Viren?" He seemed oblivious to the smell though I could see the noxious, green fumes drifting up to his nostrils.
"What are you working on, sir?" I had hesitated on how best to respectfully ask why he was waking me up by shoving vapors into my nose. Candor seemed pleased by my question and began to explain himself by reaching for a nearby jar hanging from the ceiling.
He pulled a bushel of a rather sickly looking flower from the jar with his right hand and presented it to me, holding it in comparison to the vapors still emitting from his other hand.
"This," he lifted up the flower, "Is a type of flower native to Xadia that has the rather odd property of having an unpleasant odor." He paused for a smile.
"The Xadians have many names for it but in dark magic it is referred to as 'the Odor'." Candor grimaced, looking disappointed.
"I must admit that our name for it is not nearly as entertaining as their names but I suppose whatever mage named this wasn't the creative type." I nodded, 'the Odor' did not sound entertaining at all as a name for an odiferous flower. If anything, it was slightly ominous if not somewhat pretentious especially for what it was.
I realized that Candor had not yet answered my question.
"But what are you using it for, sir?" Candor, suddenly reminded my original question, came up with a suitable response.
"I was using the flower to test an amplification spell for various ingredients, it amplifies different aspects of different ingredients" Candor looked sheepish for a moment.
"As for this specific test with the flower, I just wanted to have a little… fun with you I suppose." He looked at me cautiously to my surprise. From my perspective, he could do no wrong as my mentor. Anything he did could be justified as a lesson in my mind he needed only to say so. Along with Harrow and perhaps King Armin, Candor was the one of the few people I freely trusted to do no wrong particularly when I first began as his apprentice.
Yet he was careful around me when he spoke and acted, only being distracted from his kindness by the madness that he fell into upon his magicks. It was a bewildering behavior that he had never bothered explain to me and I had only learned of what was truly going on until much later.
His answer left me with no other questions so I merely observed him practicing on different ingredients until he called me over to where he had pulled out another ingredient for testing.
"Viren," He said, beckoning me over to where he was, "I would like you to try the amplification spell on this dandelion." The dandelion he handed to me was multi-colored and seemed to twist in my in my fingers as I held it.
"This is another Xadian plant, sir?" Candor nodded, "They all are. The ingredients needed to produced magic are all native to Xadia. What we have in these jars?"
He spun slowly gesturing with his hands at the containers hanging from the ceiling, "This is all from Xadia." He breathed in, thinking.
"Their land. It is saturated with magic. If only we could…" Wistful madness trickled into his eyes but slowly bled into despair. It was clear that he had such a desire to see Xadia that it was much how lovers seem to long for one another. It was saddening to see my mentor downcast as he was.
I watched him for a few moments, momentarily forgetting the twisting dandelion in my fingers. Upon remembering, I brought Candor out of his saddened reflection.
"Sir? Would you like me to continue? I don't know the words for the spell." Candor shook his head side to side and turned back to me.
"Right you are, you'll be practicing on this of course." He gestured to the dandelion in my hand.
"Do you know the Xadian name for that plant?"
I shook my head, "No, sir, I don't know it."
He laughed out through his nose softly, "I wouldn't expect you to. The name of this flower is in Draconic."
He leaned in on the flower and brushed the soft edge of the dandelion's top.
"Draconic often names things rather literally as we do. Take Katolis Castle for example. It is a castle in or of Katolis, ergo, Katolis Castle. It's the same in Draconic."
He pointed at the many colors of the dandelions bristles.
"What is the first thing you notice about the dandelion, Viren?" I stopped and studied the dandelion for a moment. The dandelion was covered in many colors unlike native Katolis dandelions. That was what I noticed first then, its many colors.
"It has many colors, sir." Candor laughed, well more cackled, it seemed that was the answer he had been hoping for.
"Right you are, Viren. The name of this flower in Draconic is 'Tot Colorem' which translated means 'many colors'. Well done, my boy!" I blushed slightly at the praise, not something I was prone to do often.
"Thank you, High Mage Candor."
He waved my formality away, "Please, Viren," he smiled at me, "No need to be so formal, especially in here," He put a gentle hand on my shoulder.
"As I said, just call me Candor." I nodded, I had almost forgotten our conversation from the previous day. We stood in silence for a moment. Perhaps enjoying the quiet.
Candor kept his hand on my shoulder for a few more seconds before once again remembering what we had being doing. He coughed and began his instruction.
"Here we go then, Viren." He straightened his cloak, "The spell for this is rather simple and won't require any ingredients besides the object being amplified with this staff of course." He lifted up his staff in his right hand for emphasis.
He handed me the staff which I held in my right hand. It fit rather well in my hand, even at that age. It was surprisingly smooth and pleasant to handle despite being made entirely of metal. Some of Candor's pouches hung from it, swinging from movement.
"Now, Viren," I stood up straighter as Candor spoke, "I will tell you the spell but first put your left foot back and crouch just a little." I was unsure what this would do for the spell but I complied.
"What does the crouching do, Candor?" It still felt odd to call him by his name.
Candor smiled and struck a pose before responding, "Dramatic effect!" I chuckled at his display before resuming my slightly crouched position.
"Now Viren," Candor continued, lifting from his stance, "Hold Tot Colorem up and repeat these words." I braced myself to listen as he said the incantation.
"Erutaecr ro tnalp gniht worg!" He put emphasis in each word, his voice rich with power even without the staff.
"Now try it with the Tot Colorem, Viren." Candor encouraged, "You should be able to pull this off well if you maintain yourself." I nodded, repeating the words in my mind faster and faster until I suddenly struck the floor with the staff out of instinct and shouted the spell.
"Erutaecr ro tnalp gniht worg!" My eyes glowed purple as the spell reached its peak. There was a flash and I heard Candor chuckle.
"That was very well done, Viren. Congratulations." I opened my eyes to see that the Tot Colorem had in fact been amplified in its size. The stem was almost as thick as the staff in my hand.
Suddenly after the spell had completed, I felt a slight pain that grew in my head that made it hard to stand for a moment before it became too much too handle.
I dropped the Tot Colorem and fell on my knees, the staff falling from my hand, clanging onto the floor. There was… a ringing in my ears that I can still recall today. It made me prostrate on the ground making me hold my head to the ground as I shook against the floor.
I had read about this… in the tome that Candor had given me… It had mentioned side effects of dark magic such as what I was experiencing. My head shook and I felt feeble began gulping in air in an attempt to make it go away. Another convulsion, and I felt Candor by my side. He had a hand on my shoulder and was kneeling next to me.
"You're all right, Viren. It's going to be alright." I gave my best attempt at a smile to Candor but he shook his head.
"There's no need to try and present yourself to me now, Viren." He turned over his hand and rolled his charred fingertips, remembering.
"This is the price we pay for magic, Viren. It might make you weak now but in the years to come?"
I felt well enough to raise my head towards him to listen.
"It will make you strong." I swallowed the last bit of bile that had been threatening to come up my throat and nodded. The ringing in my head had stopped and I managed to slowly get up to my feet as Candor kept a hold on my shoulder to assist me.
I smiled up at my mentor as the final feelings of sickness left me and I could stand alone again. Candor gave me an approving nod.
"Most who cast their first spell in dark magic take days to get over it. Now look at you!" He gestured both hands towards me.
"You've recovered in seconds!" I nodded weakly.
"Thank you, Candor."
I bent over to pick up the Tot Colorem and staff that had fallen to the floor. As I stooped over to grab them the scroll that Harrow had given me caught my eye. It was still sitting on the table near the loft where I had left it. Just sitting there though, it felt like it was watching me.
I didn't take my eyes off it as I picked up the staff and Tot Colorem and when I stood I watched it for a second more before taking my eyes off of it to hand Candor his staff back. Candor took the staff and stem in his hand. He seemed to notice my focus had shifted to the scroll and gave me a moment to think.
My mind was rather preoccupied with the scroll and what it meant I admit even as I felt the magic soaking through me. It was the last link between who I had been and who I was and perhaps who I was going to be. Candor added on to his congrulations.
"You have done well, Viren! Most take longer to handle magic, but you've done it just in this moment!" I nodded and gave a smile that we both knew was fake.
"Thank you, Candor."
I actually was excited about what I had just down and how natural it had felt inside of me but the scroll and what it meant felt like an anchor in my stomach even as I still felt the spell in my veins. How foreboding it seemed somehow just laying there in silence.
The room fell silent as I slowly plodded over to the scroll and took it into my hands. It felt coarse as before but hot in my hands. I rolled it in my fingers a few times before stopping where it was sealed. My fingers grazed over the dried wax but I could not bring myself to break it.
It felt like opening the scroll was a step backwards, that it was given something to my father who had left me alone as I had been. I didn't want to give him anything. I wanted to forget him and how he had hurt me…
Candor once again noticed my change in thought and opened his mouth slowly to speak.
"Often, our deepest losses are sometimes best left in the past." Sensing my hesitation to what he had said Candor left my actions to me without further comment.
I took the scroll in my hand, took one of Candor's fire pouches from his table and walked in front of the silent hearth. I held the scroll in one hand and the pouch in the other and stood there, thinking. Was I to be the next in my family that had left me? Or was I to be my own new beginning? To leave behind the sad memories of countless, lonely days without a father and move forward or remember them?
I crouched in front of the fire and laid the scroll on the logs and stood back up again. I remembered the spell that Candor had used. Dark magic felt as a second language to me. I drew my arm back to throw the pouch into the fire and incanted.
"Worg lliw erif sehsa eseht morf!" The logs burst into an inferno and the scroll was consumed by the flames. Smoke curled up the chute as it turned to ash. I watched until the last of the parchment was gone and turned back to Candor who was now sitting and watching me. He gestured quietly to the flames.
"And so dies the past?" He asked me, his voice light against the fire's crackle. I nodded firmly, the flames illuminating my figure,
"And so it dies."