I re-watched the Winter Soldier not that long ago and this idea bit me and just wouldn't let go. Plus, it's always fun to write Tony's signature snarky quips. I really enjoyed trying to have a familiar relationship between these two while still keeping them both a bit cautious because they don't know each other all that well.
Enjoy!
"Happy, you seeing this?" Tony asked, not bothering to look away from his phone.
"Seeing what?"
"This," Tony replied, holding up his phone and wiggling it.
"The news?" Happy guessed without breaking his focus on the road as he navigated through busy traffic.
"What's on the news, Happy," Tony clarified as he sat forward and leaned on the partition. He glanced over at the passenger seat and frowned before looking back at Happy. "God, what is that?"
Happy glanced over his shoulder momentarily. "What's what?"
"That piece of tech that walked with dinosaurs," Tony replied as he jabbed his finger toward the laptop in Happy's bag. "What is it?"
"It's my computer."
"No, it's definitely not. I know the forehead of security struggled to get the hang of it, but I know I definitely gave you a tablet."
"I prefer a laptop."
"Who even uses laptops anymore? Come into the 21st century, Happy. Touch screens, holo screens, and voice commands"
"This is from the 21st century."
"All of my blood, sweat, and tears put in this technology," he said dramatically, jabbing his finger at his phone, "and you buy something off the shelf."
"Just easier for me to-"
"To fund my distant competitors. Yeah, I got that," he said, sitting back again.
Happy rolled his eyes. "You need something?"
"Yeah," Tony answered, once again distracted. His eyes were glued to the screen of his phone again, watching his one-time teammate, former PA, and triple imposter extraordinaire tell the US government to essentially kiss her ass. A toothy grin spread across his face as she practically eviscerated the committee members in her responses, all with a polite expression. It was a talent he seriously wished he possessed. He never grew tired of watching Pepper employ the same skill in board meetings, belittling the stuffy suits without breaking a sweat. Natasha was on a whole other level though. Not that he doubted her skill in, well... anything, considering what he'd seen her do first-hand.
"Tony?" Happy prompted.
"Yeah," he said while glancing up. "We need to pick up a spider."
Happy frowned. "What?"
"A spid- Did you not listen to any of that?" he asked, gesturing to his phone. "Come on, Happy. I know it's been awhile since you drove me around since you left me for your promotion but come on!"
"I try very hard not to overhear your conversations. It makes for less stress in my life."
"Well, yeah, 'cause who wants a head of security that knows what's going on?"
Happy glared into the rear-view mirror. "We're picking up Agent Romanoff?"
"We're picking up your favourite boxer," Tony corrected with a grin.
"I slipped," Happy defended tiredly.
"Sure ya did. Let's swing by and sit out front 'til she's done."
"Media's gonna notice a car idling out front, boss."
He waved the concern off. "Let them speculate and take photos of a car. Wouldn't be the worst press I've ever gotten."
"Pepper specifically asked you to finish the-"
"Designs on the new phone and security stuff, I know. I'm multi-tasking."
"Multi-tasking?"
Tony tapped his head. "It's brewing up here."
"While you watch the hearing?"
"Ha!" Tony exclaimed, pointing a finger at Happy accusingly. "I knew you were listening!"
"Everyone in the country knows she's got the hearing today."
"Caught you red-handed," he continued, ignoring Happy's explanation.
"They've been promoting their coverage for days."
"I should dock your pay for eavesdropping-"
"Pepper controls my salary."
"-maybe even a demotion-"
"You don't have that authority anymore."
"-or reassignment. I hear the front desk needs a security guard for the night shift-"
"I'm the one who does the shift assignments and hiring for security."
"Hey, you want a coffee? I think I need some caffeine," Tony said, abruptly changing the topic as the hearing reached a small lull due to some bureaucratic formality nonsense, which he had no desire to listen to.
"We're making a stop?"
"Yeah, let's swing by, uh, what's that place I like?"
"Starbucks?"
Tony stared at the rear-view mirror in mock horror. "I'm gonna call Pepper right now and have you fired."
"King's?" Happy amended.
Tony shook his head. "J, what's the coffee place I like here in this god forsaken government town?"
JARVIS piped up obediently. "I have records for a number of-"
"Give me the top of the charts."
"Coffee Café is your top visited location for coffee."
"Coffee Café?" Tony repeated dumbfounded. "That's actually the name?"
"Yes, sir."
"I go to a place called Coffee Café?"
"Well, not directly. The coffee is picked up for you by-"
"Do you think they knew their name meant coffee coffee when they came up with it?"
"Perhaps they have a sense of humour, sir."
"Well let's hope so. The alternative isn't great for them."
"Shall I call ahead to place your order?"
"Great idea. Happy, you want something?"
"Just a coffee with sugar."
"You heard the man, J."
"I presume you'd like your usual?"
"That's why it's my usual."
"Shall I get Ms. Romanoff something?"
"Aw, you got a crush, JARVIS?"
"I merely suggest that after the hearing she may appreciate it."
"You know what she likes?"
"I have records of receipts for coffee that she submitted while serving as your PA."
"She was undercover then. How do you know the coffee order wasn't a part of that?"
"I'm open to suggestions," JARVIS replied, the irreverence clear in his tone.
"It's fine. But if it's wrong, I'm throwing you under the bus."
"I shall await my fate with bated breath."
"Go away now."
"Yes, sir."
Tony's attention was drawn back to his phone screen as the committee began another line of asinine questioning. He spotted the tiniest twitch of Natasha's lips and knew she was about to go in for the kill. "Oh! She's totally gonna make them cry. This is great. Happy, you gotta listen to this."
Happy just rolled his eyes and hit the button to raise the partition again.
By the time they'd gotten there every major media outlet in the US and more than a few international ones were camped out front of the building. His car's arrival did not go unnoticed, but for once they seemed more interested in someone else, so he was spared the direct focus of the reporters. He watched the live feed of the hearing while skimming through some of the data that Natasha had released to the world. He'd known SHIELD had a lot of dirty laundry, but he hadn't known there was that much. By the time he got to the Avengers related info, he knew Natasha must have done some editing before she released it because there was a lot less than he'd seen the last time he'd hacked SHIELD. Not that he'd read much of it then though, since Pepper had interrupted him with much more interesting plans for the evening.
There was some information about himself from over the years, mostly how his weapons and tech impacted world events. He didn't see her assessment of his suitability for the Avengers though, so maybe she'd done some editing on his behalf. Huh...interesting.
He found a few notes on Banner that mostly consisted of prior locations where they'd had surveillance set up to watch him, and some details on the Harlem incident, but nothing beyond the basics and nothing that wasn't already out there. Thor's files were severely limited, but then again no one seemed to know all that much about him so that wasn't terribly surprising. Cap's file was predictably larger, but still missing key things he'd assumed would be in there. Barton's files were large enough but lacking key details like his actual name. Evidently Red had opted to protect him by removing his HR details and leaving only his codename. Very interesting…
"Huh," he murmured as he flicked through the files to find the ones about Natasha. It looked like she hadn't done much, if anything to edit her own file, though many of the details from her younger years seemed to be vague. How befitting of a spy, he mused. He only skimmed the info, not wanting to pry into what she had kept close to the vest. After all, he knew a little about wanting privacy. But what was there from the years leading up to her SHIELD days wasn't pretty and hadn't been in the files Coulson had given him before everything with Loki had happened. It was no wonder they hauled her in for a hearing. Damn, Natalie. Talk about taking one for the team...
His attention was drawn back to the hearing as he heard one of the committee members begin to threaten Natasha. "Dumb move, asshole," Tony murmured. Even he, as narcissistic and combative as he was, knew not to cross the Black Widow.
He listened to Natasha refute him with a verbal slap Pepper would've been proud of, and then grinned widely when she finished with a challenge to arrest her if they wanted, knowing full well they would do no such thing. He barked out a laugh at the audacity of it and felt a surge of pride. Who knew he wasn't the only shit disturber in their group?
Suddenly the horde of cameras and reporters outside the building began to buzz and Tony watched as Natasha strode confidently out of the building. She spotted the car quickly and changed course just as swiftly to head toward it. Clearly she knows who it is, he realized, knowing she'd never get into an unknown car. How she knew though, he had no idea.
"Want me to get out and push 'em back, boss?" Happy asked as he eyed the group of reporters that was rapidly approaching the car as Natasha made her way to it.
"Nah, Natalie's got it."
"Lucky you were in the area today, huh?" Happy quipped.
"Yeah," Tony replied, looking away from his friend's knowing gaze and fixing his eyes instead on Natasha's approaching figure. When she got close enough, Tony pushed open the door. "Need a ride?" he asked with a grin, squinting against the barrage of flashes from the cameras despite his sunglasses.
She tilted her head ever so slightly before a small smile crept across her lips. She stepped gracefully into the car as Tony slid over to the other seat and then pulled the door shut. He was instantly grateful for the now muted shouts and dimmed flashes, which while nothing he hadn't seen before, were still irritating.
"You sure you want to be seen with me?" she asked.
"Little late for that," he replied drily. "And anyway, being that you know my history better than I do, Ms. Rushman, you know that this is small potatoes compared to some of the shit I've done."
"Yeah, but this someone else's potatoes being associated with you."
"Po-tay-to, po-tah-to," he replied, waving off her concern. He paused for a moment, watching her carefully for some sign of her headspace. Silence hung between them for another moment as they locked gazes, each looking for something in the other. "You know, for a spy that was a pretty conspicuous move back there," he said finally, breaking the silence that he'd grown uncomfortable with.
She smirked. "A girl's gotta have some fun sometimes."
"Normally I'm all in for that kind of fun. You know that. But in this case, I don't think anything in the last few days has been pleasurable for you."
"No? And why's that?"
"Well, for one, you just told the US government to shove it. Which let me just say, big fan. I'm always here to see stuffy, corrupt politicians have their asses handed to them."
"Given your history with politicians that's not surprising to me in the least," she replied drily.
He ignored her remark. "But that sort of thing isn't exactly in line with your generally preferred covert nature." Natasha said nothing and so he pressed on. "And two, I saw some of what was in the information dump. I didn't read too deeply, but I saw enough of your name to know that putting it out there didn't do you any favours."
Her expression doesn't shift from the mostly neutral one she'd worn since she'd gotten into the car. "It was necessary."
"Maybe," he conceded with a tilt of his head, "but that doesn't mean it didn't come at a cost to you. Low profile is not really an option for you now, is it?"
She glanced out the window at the still flashing cameras and reporters yelling for a comment despite the closed door. "There are places I can go to disappear."
"Run and hide doesn't seem like you."
"Not all of us are so confrontational to give out our home address and issue a public challenge to a terrorist," she remarked drily while shooting him a look.
"Okay, point taken." He paused before asking the more pertinent question. "How bad is this for you really?"
She shrugged. "It's manageable."
"You know, that doesn't really answer the question."
"And yet it's the answer you're going to get "
"Natasha," he implored with a sigh.
"What, Stark?"
"Oh, don't Stark me. We've fought aliens together and I even let you stab me in the neck that one time-"
"Let me?"
"Okay, maybe I didn't exactly let you because you were absolutely gonna do it no matter what I did or said, but still, that's a level of intimacy few have achieved with me and I think that puts us in a place where first names are okay."
"You really never shut up, do you?"
"Only when Pepper tells me to." Natasha arched a knowing eyebrow. "About 12% of the time Pepper tells me to," he amended.
"Why did you come?" she asked bluntly.
Tony was admittedly a little hurt by the question and the underlying assumption that coming to her and Cap's defence wasn't something he'd do. He'd been late hearing the news that the two of them were wanted fugitives, owing to a lengthy, uninterrupted tinkering session. He'd known immediately there was more going on than the news was reporting, because nothing about the things Rogers was accused of screamed Captain America to him. He'd tried to get them both on the phone but neither had answered, and by the time the news was reporting that helicarriers were under attack outside of the Triskelion, he was well and truly flummoxed. Then the SHIELD/Hydra files leaked online, and things started to fall into place.
"Well, since you and Rogers didn't think to give me a call when you were taking down a seriously shady organization within an already shady organization, I thought I'd at least invite myself to the afterparty." He paused, letting his jab linger for a moment. "I would've helped, Natasha," he added quietly.
She held his gaze for a moment. "I know," she replied after a small sigh.
Is that regret I hear? he mused. "Look, I don't know why you didn't call. I'm going to assume you had reasons. Probably wrong ones, but...you know, reasons I guess."
"It was a judgment call."
He tried not to be hurt by that, hearing echoes of her assessment of him for the Avengers reverberating in his mind. "Look, what's done is done. But if you happen to find yourself in a similar situation, maybe think to give your old pal Tony a call, yeah?"
"I'll keep that in mind."
"Good. Now, where are we headed?"
"What, you don't want to fuel more rumours by sitting here with the press outside the car?"
"I suspect Pepper is already going to have my head for this. No need to give her more ammo."
"The Tower then, I suppose."
He nodded and pushed a button to lower the partition. "Back to the Tower, Happy."
"You got it, boss," he replied with a nod before meeting Natasha's gaze. "Agent Romanoff," he added with a stiff nod.
"Hi, Happy," she greeted with a tired smile. "Thanks for the ride."
"Of course," he answered with a nod before closing the partition.
"Don't mind him, he's still holding a grudge over you knocking him on his ass."
"I slipped!" Happy said just before the partition finished closing.
"So, does this mean you're finally moving in?" Tony asked as she turned back to face him again.
She sighed. "I might have to now. At least for a little while. I still have some things I need to handle, but a somewhat reliable home base wouldn't be the worst thing in the world."
"I'm going to ignore your "somewhat" qualifier there, 'cause that's just mean." She rolled her eyes and then he cycled back to more serious subject matter. "They make any threats away from the TV feed? I've got an army of lawyers on my payroll that haven't had much to do since I've been behaving myself."
"I think your definition and your board's definition of good behaviour differ significantly."
He was undaunted by her weak misdirect because if she'd wanted the subject dropped, she wouldn't mince words about it. "Seriously though, Natasha. Do you need a lawyer?"
"I doubt it. I think I made my value clear to them. I'm guessing the landscape is too uncertain for them to pursue anything effectively."
"If they end up pursuing something, let me know. It's bullshit that they'd try to pin this on you anyway."
"I will," she says, and he believes her.
"By the way, how exactly did your merry little band of shit disturbers decide on who had to face the music?" Tony asked, getting to the question he really wanted to ask. "Why you, Red? Why not Rogers? There's no way they'd arrest the hallowed Captain America."
Natasha shook her head. "He's indisposed currently."
"Indisposed?"
"Mmhmm," she hummed, gaze fixed out the window again.
"What about Fury?"
"Dead. Did you not see the news?"
"Forgive me for not believing that the man whose secrets have secrets is dead."
"Secrets or not, doesn't mean he isn't dead."
"Fine, if not him then surely Hill."
Natasha turned to face him. "Funny you should mention her."
His gaze narrowed because Natasha had that look on her face. "No, it's not funny. It actually seems remarkably unfunny to me."
"I hear she's looking for a job."
He couldn't help the laugh. "Have anything to do with the helicarriers currently sitting in the Potomac?"
She smiled. "It might."
He sighed. It wasn't the worst idea in the world to hire her. If the Avengers were needed again, she'd be an invaluable resource. And besides, you didn't get to being Fury's right-hand man - er, woman, he corrected himself - without being damn good at your job. "She's not going with Fury?"
"Quit fishing, Stark."
"You're not going with him wherever he's setting up the new shop?"
"Tony," she repeated, and this time he thought she sounded tired. Not that he blamed her. It was exhausting dealing with politicians with sticks up their asses. Not to mention that whole 'taking down a corrupt organization' thing.
"Alright, alright. But you skirted the original question. Why you?"
"I was the one who leaked everything. They already don't like me for that. Hill is of more use if she doesn't have to burn her remaining bridges and contacts by being the face of it."
"They'll call her for questioning."
"I have no doubt. But she isn't the face of the story. I am."
"And Rogers gets to keep his squeaky-clean reputation intact. Seems like a raw deal for you, Natasha."
She shrugged. "I'm used to looking over my shoulder and being hated by the government."
He eyed her, watching for any tell of emotion, but all she looked like to him was tired...maybe even exhausted, and he wondered when the last time she got a full night's rest was. "Well, move into the Tower and you've got a whole floor to yourself, not to mention there's no threat of anyone getting to you there. Security is top of the line and you've got a live-in engineer with a penchant for designing security systems. I'll even let you look over the blueprints."
"It won't be for long," she warned. "I have a web to rebuild."
"Was that a spider pun?"
"I'm already regretting my decision."
"Nah, it's gonna be the best! I can upgrade your gear if you want. I saw what those wrist gauntlets can do, and I think there's a lot of space to improve."
"They're fine, Stark."
"Well, sure. But I don't do fine. Besides, it would be nice to tinker with something other than my suits."
"Don't you have a company to create tech for? Tinker with that."
He waved off the question. "Projects are already on the go. This is for fun!"
"You have an odd definition of fun, you know that?"
"I've been told a time or two. Not my fault the world has awful standards for these things."
"One of those for me?" she asked, gesturing to the coffees.
"Oh, yeah," he said, grabbing hers and handing it to her. He watched as she took off the lid and took a quick sniff. "It's not poisoned, I promise."
She laughed. "What makes you so sure it would be effective if it was?"
He blinked as he tried to puzzle out if she was joking.
"Who ordered it?" she asked after taking a sip.
He frowned. "I did… Why?"
"How'd you know what to order?"
"I know things," he defended.
JARVIS' voice suddenly filled the car. "It was a best guess based on the receipts on file from your time in legal and as Mr. Stark's PA."
"What the hell, JARVIS?!" he said, incredulous that his own AI would out him like that.
"And was it your idea or Tony's to get something for me?" she asked, her expression belying that she clearly already knew the answer.
"J, I swear I will reboot-"
"It was my suggestion, though Mr. Stark was on board immediately."
"That's very thoughtful of you, JARVIS. Thank you."
"You are most welcome, Ms. Romanoff."
"You know, I never pegged you for someone who trusted technology," Tony said.
"Because I'm Russian?"
"Because you're...well, you," he countered.
She chuckled. "You forget I've seen some of the coding for JARVIS."
"Holy shit. You're right," he said as his eyes widened at the revelation. "I have some questions about that, by the way."
"Yep, definitely regretting my decision now."
"No, no, this is great!"
"Debatable."
"Ms. Romanoff?" JARVIS interrupted.
"Yes?"
"Might I ask, your coffee order...is it correct?"
She smiled. "It was my go-to that I used to order while undercover at Stark Industries, yes."
"That's not what he asked," Tony pointed out.
"Actually, it is."
"Let me rephrase for him then. Is it actually your coffee order?"
She grinned as she brought the cup up to her lips and took a sip but stayed silent.
"What does that mean? Is that a yes? That looks like a yes to me. Or...maybe a no? I'm getting mixed signals here."
"So, this floor is yours," Tony said as he strolled out of the elevator, Natasha by his side. They'd arrived at the Tower after making their way through the brutal New York traffic and she had, for reasons passing his understanding, agreed to let him show her around.
"One for each of us?"
"Yeah. Figured if this superhero life became a habit it'd be a good idea to have an HQ that catered to everyone."
She stayed silent but he saw her eyes scrutinizing every detail as she walked into the main, open area of the floor. He didn't doubt that she was filing away information for further review later.
"It's got a similar layout to the others, full kitchen, office, bedroom with a full bathroom, laundry room, plus a large main area." He saw her eyes lingering on the walls of glass. Probably paranoid about enemy access… he thought to himself. "The glass is basically impenetrable," he assured her. "Top of the line, out of the lab. I could run you through the logistics of it but suffice it to say it's not your average panes. JARVIS has full tint control of it too, so you can leave it opaque if you prefer."
She nods, apparently satisfied with his explanation.
"Decor isn't anything special-"
"Is that a Jackson Pollack?" she interrupted, pointing to the painting on the wall.
His gaze followed her gesture. "I honestly couldn't tell you."
"You don't know if you own a Jackson Pollack piece?" she replied, brows rising in what appeared to him to be genuine surprise.
"No, Pepper curated the art collecti-" he stopped abruptly as he realized she'd revealed a kernel of something about herself. "Wait. You know art?"
She shrugged. "Basic knowledge in a variety of subjects is valuable to a spy."
"Is this the part where you tell me the Black Widow secretly has a degree in fine arts?"
"Don't be silly," she said with a roll of her eyes as she stepped away from him and toward the painting. "I studied art history," she added with a teasing grin as she glanced over her shoulder.
His eyes widened because he absolutely did not expect that. "You have a degree in art history? Seriously?"
She laughed. "I never said I had a degree." He frowned in confusion as he stepped forward and joined her in staring at the painting. "College student is an easy cover on more missions than you'd think," she said in explanation.
He glanced at her. "And out of everything, you picked art history to major in?"
She shrugged again. "Easier to memorize that than chemistry or biology."
"Huh," he said as he considered her point. He had no trouble envisioning a slightly younger Natasha with a backpack slung over her shoulder walking across a campus. "And here I thought you'd have been studying law."
She rolled her eyes at his not at all subtle dig at her Natalie Rushman cover.
A thought occurred to him suddenly. "Hang on, was that paperwork you did for Pepper becoming CEO legit?"
She chuckled. "All on the up and up, don't worry."
He flashed a grin in relief at her before looking back to the painting. "So, is this your sort of thing, or should I get it replaced?"
"You're asking me if I'd like the painting worth tens of millions of dollars replaced?" she asked while shooting him an incredulous look.
"What? If you don't like it-"
"Sometimes you make it impossible to forget that you're disgustingly rich, you know that?"
"I'm just saying, this is your floor. While my style and taste are flawless, I recognize that you have your own preferences."
"How magnanimous of you."
"Look, I know you aren't my biggest fan-"
"I-"
"No, I get it. I was a narcissistic asshole. Still am a lot of the time. But I'm trying to do better." He paused as she held his gaze with something in her eyes telling him she was genuinely listening to him. "I don't know where this whole thing with SHIELD going down has left you, but you're free to make this place your own. Let JARVIS know what you need, and he'll make sure it gets done."
She was quiet for a beat and he hoped she understood the offer for what it was: feel free to make this home.
"Thank you, Tony," she said, tone soft and genuine.
"You're welcome," he said, eager to move them past the heavy topic. "Now, about your equipment. I've been thinking...besides upgrading the gauntlets, how do you feel about batons?"
So, thoughts? Plausible that he'd visit and offer her an olive branch? Enjoy her dry comments? The call back to her take down of Happy? Let me know! Comments always brighten my day.
Still trying to carve out time here and there to write for this one and for Moments as well. Appreciate your patience.
And as always, thanks to those commenting and reading. Hope you're all well!