Fear of Scary Things and Broken Relationships

Chapter 11.

The next morning begun with the usual tofu vs. meat battle. Starfire suggested to make both without combining it into a pudding while Raven was on the couch, reading a book. It was Robin who suggested to make waffles for breakfast when he appeared in the room. After their breakfast Raven went to her room and Robin turned to the rest of his teammates. "Guys, there's something I want to say to you, something about last two weeks. I know that you want try to help me after I got infected with Slade's dust, but I ignored you, all of you. For that, I'm sorry."

The others exchanged glances before turning to their leader. It was Cyborg who spoke up. "Robin, we all know that you've a hard time dealing with Slade, especially after his last trick. I think we all forgive you for being harsh, and not just against us, but to yourself as well."

Starfire flew to Robin and grabbed his hands. "Yes. Although I still do not fully understand your actions, I do forgive you friend Robin."

Cyborg's words meant more than Robin hooped, a huge weight dropped of his shoulders. Unfortunately it was Starfire's words and embrace that made him let out sad sigh. "You still have no idea huh?" Starfire raised an eyebrow as she cocked her head. Robin shook his head. "Never mind, I'll explain it later. First I need to talk with Cyborg and Beast Boy, In private."

Starfire became more confused as she let go of his hands. "You wish to leave me so the three of you can have a conversation?"

Robin nodded.

Then her eyes widened a bit. "Do you need to perform the boy talk?"

"Sort of."

Starfire clasped her hands together in excitement. "How joyful! I wish to hear more about it! I will leave the three of you and will go to find friend Raven to have the girl talk!"

Robin flinched by the idea of a bouncing Starfire in front of Raven's room who's owner could easily sense the dark clouds already forming above the Titans Tower as she knew what was about to happened. "Starfire, I think it's for the best that you don't bother her and wait in your room for now. There's something I need to tell you, but I have to talk to the others first."

Starfire caught the serious tone in Robin's words. "Is it about what happened when you are battling Slade inside your mind?"

Robin shook his head. "No. Just... go and wait for me, it shouldn't take long, alright?"

"I understand," Starfire said with a tiny voice, not knowing what was going on. She floated to her room.

Robin watched the closed door where Starfire had disappeared for a few moments. He then scratched the back of his neck as he turned his gaze to the two boys who looked confused at him. He gesture to the couch. "You guys better take a seat. It's going to be hard to take."

The two of them did as requested and Robin took his seat on the far end of the couch, on Raven's favorite spot to be precisely. "Listen guys, It's about me and Starfire. I know that you're probably thinking that I'm making out with her, but I don't, and... I can't. I can't be myself with her, and… I can't do it anymore. Not after what happened the last two weeks."

Cyborg's and Beast Boy's eyes widened as their yaws dropped. "Whatcha mean?! Ya'll went go and doing fine for months by now!" Cyborg boomed.

"Yeah, just like that mob on that ship when you had that crazy date with that Kitten girl!" Beast Boy added.

"I didn't really date with her. Yes, she looks gorgeous on the mob when she suddenly appeared and I took her to the mall, the theaters and the amusement park but I primary showed her the way around as an ambassador to Earth's environments and customaries."

"So you're telling us that you've never feels anything for her? Didn't look like when we're on Tamaran," Cyborg said.

"I know. I thought that she was the right one, but things happened and I was wrong." Robin let out a sigh. "Look, I know she tried to help me out after the incident, but she wanted to do it on her own way. She didn't really help me. In fact, she did everything I couldn't need at that moment. I tried to explain to her and hoped that she would understand me, but she basically ignored everything I said and keep pushing me to go to the mall or wherever she wanted me to drag to, so I was getting irritated and starts jelling at her."

Cyborg was about to say something but was cut off by Beast Boy. "Robin, that is low. I mean, She's Starfire! How can you do that?! You're going to dump her just like that?! What's next, running into another girl to please your own desires?"

Robin let out a sigh as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. 'If only Raven was here, she would talk some sensed into Beast Boy.'

Cyborg glared at his little friend. "Hold on BB, I think you're overrating right now. We can't force them to be together, that'll make things even worse."

Beast Boy was quiet for a few moments. "Alright, good point."

Cyborg now glanced at Robin. "So, whatcha gonna do now?"

"Telling her the truth. I do like her, but not like that. Star is like a little sister, like the two of you are like my brothers."

"What about Raven?" Beast Boy asked.

"She knows. I told her last night. In fact, she brought me up to make things right with Star, so I told her my thoughts and feelings. It's the reason why I didn't want Star to go to Raven and giving her false hope, it would be awkward, and very painful."

Cyborg nodded. "I understand. It's already bad enough for her. Now you go and talk to the little girl."

"Yeah, just to let you know, I'm gonna to hate myself by breaking her heart. I just hope that you guys will help her and ease her pain a bit."

"Hey, we're friends. It's gonna take some time but I think she'll get over with," Cyborg said.

"Yeah, I think we can cheer her up when we're telling some jokes," Beast Boy added.

Cyborg shot him a look. "Man she can't even understand your jokes."

"Dude, I bet she will laugh at it when you're the victim."

"Oh yeah? Like what huh?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe switching meat for tofu. That would be fun."

"Oh no! You're not messing around with your tofu!"

Robin made a facepalm as the two boys started the usual tofu-meat battle. He got on his feet and left the room before the bickering duo noticed his departure.

Robin stood in front of Starfire's room's door. He took a deep breath. 'Well, there goes nothing.' He knocked on the door. It didn't took long when Starfire opened the door.

"Friend Robin, I understand that you which to speak to me in private?"

"Yes, I do."

Starfire let Robin entered the bright pink room and the door closed behind him. Robin took a few steps to Starfire's bed. "You better sit down."

Both of them sat down on her bed and Robin took her hands into his own. Starfire couldn't help but having an anxious feeling. "Robin, what is it?"

"Star, there's something I need to tell you. I know how you feel towards me, everyone knows, but it's about my feelings towards you. Star, you're the sweetest girl I've ever met. You're strong, beautiful and a great friend. I like you, I like you a lot, but not the way you're expecting it from me."

"Robin, what are you telling me?"

Robin felt his heart drop as he let out a sigh. "Starfire, I have to be honest with you. I love you, but not the way you want me to. You're like family to me, a little sister. I know you want me to be more than that, more than just a friend or a brother, but I can't, and I'm sorry."

"Why not? What is it that you cannot love me more than that?"

Robin put his hand on Starfire's shoulder, signaling Starfire to be quiet as she did so. "Star, you are a very nice person. Beautiful, very bright, hopeful, admiring all aspects of life, and still very innocent. But unfortunately all these things are too much for me. It's just... we are too different. I know that you want to be with me all the time, I know your interests, wishes and desires but mine are too different." Robin let out a sigh as he lowered his head. "I'm sorry Star, but I can't. I can't do it anymore."

Tears formed in Starfire's emerald eyes like Robin had expected it and cleared the space between them and rubbed her back. "I'm sorry Star. I know it's hard to take it and I'm really sorry. I just want you to be your happy self like you always are."

Starfire shook her head with her eyes closed tight while Robin continued rubbing her back with one hand as he hold her right hand. A sob escaped followed by more tears. Robin allowed her to cry her heart out and give her the time she needed to recover from her shock.

It took a few minutes when she finally calmed herself and was able to look at Robin with her heartbreaking gaze. "Did I do something wrong? What did go wrong? And why? Is there anything-"

Robin gently shushed her. "Star, sometimes things can grow to each other, but sometimes things goes the opposite direction. It takes time when people realize what it does to one other. In our case, there are too many differences between us in our wants and needs, and I don't believe that we're meant for each other. I don't want you to drag me to do things I don't really like. I know what you really like but I don't like these things. I don't want to reject your suggestions and disappoint you. With you, I can't be myself."

Starfire was about to say something but Robin held up his hand before continue. "It's well known that I like to play video games with the boys and listen to music but there's more about myself. Last night I've realized that I like to go on patrol and keep he streets safe. It's something that I do for years. I need to train myself to be stronger and better than I am now, not just for myself or the team but for the people we are protecting. Therefore I don't want to drag you into my darkness and met my personal demons." Starfire looked up at Robin with both confusion and fear in her eyes. "I do have it Star, and it's strong. I need someone who understand me, all of me and that's including these darkness within me. You are so bright, so innocent and so full of life, I don't want you to lose it."

Robin's words started to sink in Starfire's mind she recalled the way Robin was acting during his infection of Slade's dust and him hurting her, the weeks afterwards when he was clearly upset when she insisted him to go out. Then flashes of the future Robin went through her mind, images of Nightwing in a black suit who didn't act like the Robin she knew and loved. It was now that Starfire slowly started to realize that there was more about Robin than she always thought. It took a few minutes when she spoke up. "I think that I understand now. I do believe that I cannot be the same person when you will become the Nightwing I met in the future. For I do not know your past, but I start to think that something really bad happened to you and became the crime fighter we all love and admire."

Robin nodded. "It did. It's too dark and painful to share, but it did. That's also the reason that I never speak of my past and wearing the mask all the time, to hide my other identity and keep my enemies away from the people I love. Not just the Titans, but also Batman and his friends and family."

Starfire nodded as her gaze went to the floor. "I understand."

They were silence for a few moments when she finally looked up. "So, what are we going to do now? Can we still call ourselves friends?"

A smile appeared on Robin's face. "Of course we can. We can make a fresh start as friends, just like the rest of the team." Robin extended his hand. "Friends?"

A thin smile was visible of Starfire's face as she took his hand. "Yes, I am delight to do that, friend Robin."

"I'm glad to hear that Star."

The two of them hold their hands in silence. Starfire was still upset but she started to accept the change in her relationship with Robin. After a while a question popped in her mind and she started to get anxious. "Friend Robin, is there another female you have developed your feelings towards?"

The question took Robin by surprise. "Huh? You mean if there is another girl?" Starfire made a small nod and he let out a sigh. "You know Star, things happened the last few weeks. Honestly, I don't know. It's too early to tell, and I need some time to think about it."

Starfire remained quiet for a moment as she was thinking. "I understand. Is it indeed too early for you to start a new relationship and I do not think that I will accept this female right now. I think that it would be too early for myself too. I need time to recover from this... rejection as you Earthlings would clarify."

Robin nodded. "I'm sorry it end up like that. If you need anything, or wants to talk about it, you can always come to me."

A sad smile crossed Starfire's face. "I will Robin, and thank you for being honest to me."

Robin nodded. "I'm gonna check the others. I've already talk to them about it and they deserved to know how it went. They really want to help you Star, so you know that you always can go to them if you need something."

Robin got on his feet and went to the door. Once the door opened Starfire went after him. "I would like to accompany you with our friends. I belief that I need to speak out my heart, I think that it would be better to do it now."

Robin nodded. "Alright, let's see the others." They left her room.

"You keep messing 'round with Star's stuff and I'll make sure y'all end up greener than ya already are!"

"Oh yeah?! And how exactly!"

"Easy! Remember that brown stuff she made yesterday?! I'll shove it down your throat! And I mean all of it!"

"You think you can do that?! You need to catch me first!"

"That would be lots easier when ya turn into a sloth!"

Starfire flew to the bickering boys and keep them apart. "Please friends, there is no need for such violence."

"What's going on guys?" Robin asked.

Cyborg and Beast Boy were about to explain things when they realized that both Robin and Starfire were in the room. They smiled innocently. "Uhm, nothing. We're just making fun, that's all," Cyborg said.

Beast Boy let out a nervous laughter. "Yeah, we're just trying to make something and cheer things up."

"Right." Robin was everything but convinced but other matters were more important. "We have an announcement to make. You guys better sit down while I'll get Raven." He turned to Starfire. "Star, you keep an eye on those two? Oh, and don't mention anything we talked about earlier will you?"

"Yes, I will friend Robin."

"Thank Star." Robin left the room.

Robin knocked on Raven's door. Soon the door opened. "Yes?"

"Raven, I had just a talk with the boys and Starfire. They seems to take it quite well but I want you to be with the rest of us so we can put it all together and get over with."

Raven nodded and left her room. They started to walk through the hallways. "It's rational to put this behind. I could sense her distress all over the place, but didn't expecting her to accept it that fast."

"I guess she's more reasonable than we give her credits for."

"Apparently."

They entered the common room and went to the back of it where the rest of the team were on the couch, waiting for them. Once Raven took her seat Robin stays in front of the group. "Guys, It won't be easy for me to tell you this, but I have to. Star and I just broke our love relationship, but we're ready to move forward as teammates and more important, as friends. I know that I hurt her feelings and I'm sorry for that, but I have to be honest and did what I have to do, no matter how much I hate it."

"Sorry man," Cyborg said. he then turned to Starfire. "How 'bout you Star?"

"Well, it did hurt my feelings. I thought that he was all bright and brave but when Robin mentioned his inner darkness and demons, I realized that things will not be the same when I really know the man behind the mask. I have also realized how rough he can be when he was angry. He physically hurt me once when he was under the influence of Slade his dust."

Robin felt his heart drop. "I'm sorry about that Star, I really are."

"I know, and you are all forgiven Robin."

"I know, but- "

"Robin, you need to stop blaming yourself. You weren't yourself and what's in the past is in the past. Self-pity won't do any good. Get over with and move forward like the rest of us."

Robin gazed at Raven. It didn't took long when he realized that she was making a point. "You're right Raven. Thank you."

Beast Boy was more curious about Starfire's explanation. "Inner darkness and demons?" He then turned to Robin. "Dude, how can you have that kind of stuff in your head?" He was in thoughts for a moment. "You know, that remind me of Raven's mind when me and Cyborg went..." he went silence and gulped when Raven and even Robin intensified their glares with each word. "Sorry, shutting up. So, what are you going to do now?" Beast Boy asked Robin timidly.

Robin shrugged. "I don't know. Let it sink in and doing the usual things with the rest of the team I guess."

Beast Boy cocked his head. "What? That's it? No new girlfriend for Robin?"

Robin shook his head. "No, not now."

"I also need the time to process this new friendly relationship with friend Robin," Starfire said.

Cyborg placed a hand on her shoulder. "You know, we'll be for you to help you around. You can always talk to us if you want."

A thin smile crossed Starfire's face. "Thank you friend Cyborg, I really appreciate that."

"Well, I guess there're no more couples in the team." Beast Boy turned to Raven. "But maybe in the future there is." He winked his eyebrows at these words.

Raven's face remained neutral. "Me being together with an overjoyed immature green furball who leave a trail of drool behind while gaping at fake food. What an honor."

"Hey!"

Robin rolled his eyes behind his mask. "That's enough guys. Oh, and Beast Boy, she can't replace Terra, not only they're too much differences between them, but also between the two of you."

"What?! How can you tell that?! You just broke up with Star!"

"Exactly."

Beast Boy remained silence while Cyborg and even Starfire give the changeling a look. Then Cyborg started to laugh. "Man, you're serious?! You and Raven?! Oh that's great!"

Beast Boy glared at Cyborg and was about to say him a thing or two but was cut off by Starfire. "Friend Beast Boy, I do not think that your relationship with friend Raven will function very proper. Unlike you, Raven have too much of her darkness and she is not be able to show her emotions as she wanted to."

Cyborg ceased his laughter as he and the rest of the team looked at Starfire. Raven broke the awkward silence. "Apparently none of us didn't see that one coming, but I appreciate your support."

Starfire nodded with a smile. "I do know now what it is of being misunderstand. I will do anything to protect my friends for that same experience I have to encounter at this very moment."

Cyborg, Raven and Robin eyed the Tamaranean Princess. "Wow, it really did make an impact on you. Are you really the same girl we all know and love?" Cyborg asked.

Starfire smiled. "Yes, I am friend Cyborg."

Beast Boy was still thinking at Starfire's words. He then turned to her. "Alright, since you know all about matching people, who do you think that Raven should be with huh?"

All eyes turned to their green little friend while Raven rolled her eyes. "Seriously Beast Boy, do I sense here a certain form of obsession and jalousie?"

Beast Boys eyes widened. "What?! No! I'm just wondering!"

"Yeah right. Just look at Robin, obsessions can do really stupid things ya know," Cyborg said.

Robin crossed his arms. "I hate to admit it, but Cyborg's right. It's sick."

"No! I'm just wondering what she thinks about us and forming couples! That's all!"

Starfire looked at Beast Boy with a sad look. "Well, I do wish that Terra is still among us. The two of you did go very well. Friend Cyborg, I cannot tell who your beloved female would be." She then changed her glance to Raven first, then to Robin and then back to Raven. "As for friend Raven, I do not know if you can have such a relationship, because of your emotions and your powers attached to it. But if you find your beloved, then this person must be very special and understand you completely."

"That's a reassuring thought," Raven said.

Beast Boy's eyes widened. "What? That's it?" After Starfire's nod he continued. "And what about Robin?"

Starfire looked at Robin. "Friend Robin, I think that you will find your beloved one day but I do not belief that you will find her very soon. I mean, you just broke up with me for certain reasons and we need our time to recover from it."

Robin nodded. "I understand."

Cyborg seems to be bored. "Alright, now we've all put it behind, how 'bout we get some food huh? I'm starving."

Everyone turned to Cyborg. "Seriously?" Raven asked.

"Uhm, Cyborg, we already had breakfast over an hour ago," Robin said.

"Yes, I am not hungry at this moment," Starfire added.

Cyborg shrugged. "I know, but when BB and I were talking about food I'm starting to get hungry."

Beast Boy turned to Cyborg with a grin in his face. "Dude, now the two of us are left means that we've plenty of it, so I'll say we're getting started and make some."

"Oh yeah! I like the sound of that!" With that the boys run to the kitchen and started to collect their favorite food.

The remaining Titans watched go them and Raven got on her feet. "I need to meditate, and as long we are in this very same room, I won't be able to do that when these two bottomless pits needs to refill again."

Raven went to the door but halted when she sensed the alien princess following her. She turned on her heels. "Friend Raven, I would like to have a moment in private please."

"Alright, let's go to the roof." They left the room, leaving Robin who watched the other boys making their food in disbelief.