"Holy shit!" InuYasha and Miroku tripped over themselves as one hundred and sixty lazy pounds came trotting around the corner.

Mother found it all far funnier than she should have, giggling as she caught them by their shirts, "you should always greet a Lady." InuYasha slid out of his faded tee shirt, choosing nudity over being mauled.

Miroku at least had a bit more sense. He extended his fingers, "nice grizzly bear?"

"Boof!"

His hand snapped back to his chest and he breathed a shaky, "holy shit," and then -remembering his manners, "excuse my language." InuYasha was standing on the couch, a lamp held before him like a sword.

"Sesshomaru, why do you have a bear as a familiar!"

Trying not to encourage InuYasha was growing impossible as a peel of laughter slid past his teeth in a hiss, "a familiar? Honestly, InuYasha. Lady Floof is not a bear. She's a dog and she's quite friendly." She turned her massive, black head, realized no one would pet her, and then whined in defeat.

"You call yourselves men?" Mother shook her head at them, pelting InuYasha with his shirt, "you've hurt her feelings." His poor Lady. Sango crept up behind him, grabbing his hand and holding tight.

"Lady Floof?" She was shaking like a leaf and he wondered how anyone could be so afraid of a pile of fur. He patted his thigh when the dog only huffed in reply.

"Where are your manners, my Lady? Come here you lazy girl."

With all the inconvenience of a being that never worked a day in her life, she turned to face him. Honestly, such an attitude. He didn't know where she'd gotten it from.

"You're not going to bite me, right?" She spoke to his Lady with all the seriousness that one would use against a toddler, "because if you do there's going to be trouble and I don't want that for you."

Lady Floof gave a long sigh, all but rolling her eyes as she waited not-so-patiently for Sango to pet her.

"Excuse you, ma'am? You do not huff at me like I'm ruining your life." Sango set him free, deciding to use both hands to scratch her ears, "I assure you that you will not die of neglect between my meeting you and now."

He watched them have their little conversation, incapable of keeping his wandering thoughts anywhere sane. The image of them sharing a bed, a dog curled at the end, continued to invade the sanctity of his mind.

She'd never want to get up and take the dog out in the mornings -which was fine, because he was a morning person- but their afternoon jogs would be legendary. They'd come home, panting and sweaty and radiant.

"Oi! Sesshomaru!" InuYasha's hand in his back stung like a bitch and he was momentarily possessed with ideas of retribution, "did you hear a word we've said to you?" Not one.

He turned to face those that seemed to have been chattering at him, but not before noticing that Sango was buried in the fur at this point, "that Sesshomaru sure is weird, isn't he?"

"Boof!" Traitor.

"I must have zoned out. Sorry."

His mother covered her painted lips with her hand, a half hearted attempt to hide whatever stupid little thought was possessing her.

"I was saying that you should introduce your friends to your grandmother and then leave the adults to negotiate."

His fingers ran along his Lady's head idly, "we are adults. There's no reason for us to leave."

She often didn't argue with him, so it was no surprise when she disappeared into the private area without another word.

However, that hardly meant that he would let it go. He followed after her, heedless of InuYasha insisting that he should just leave well enough alone, "there's no reason for us not to be included. Even if there's nothing you need from us, I can consider no reason why -at very least- Sango and I cannot be present."

She continued to pay him no attention, but she did Barr his entrance, "I need to get your grandmother ready for company. Leave." Something spoiled inside of him demanded that his mother cease her hard treatment of him. She had no right to call him her darling and then turn around and deny him.

"Then we can continue this in a few minutes. Time is of no consequence at the moment."

"Sesshomaru," she turned to face his pestering head on at that moment. There was no indulgence, no loophole he could exploit, "your obedience is compulsory."

Having his own mother slam the door in his face made him spiteful, "your obedience is compulsory." He mimicked. Fine. She wanted to play stupid games? Then she could win stupid prizes.

"Whatever you're about to do, I'm pretty sure you shouldn't do it." Kagome was watching him flip through a booklet of exotic wines, choosing and then changing his mind when he saw something more expensive.

"Pretty sure?" InuYasha snorted, "I know for a fact that he's going to get gutted."

Miroku sat beside Sango, running his hand along Lady Floof's belly, "is this what a Sesshomaru temper tantrum looks like?" It was. How dare she command him? How dare she look at him like that and speak to him like he was nothing more than one of her foot soldiers? 'Your obedience is compulsory'. Fine. She wanted to treat him like a child? He'd act like one.

"Sesshomaru, maybe there's just an element of this negotiation that they'd like to shield you all from." The last person that should be speaking to him was Takeda. Not only had he quickly become his least favorite Takeda, but he also didn't know him nearly well enough to try and reason with him.

If he had any clue what kind of brat he was dealing with, he'd have known not to try, "sorry, I'm far too girly to see reason. Feel free to peddle your nonsense elsewhere."

"What about Dom Perignon?" Five million yen was a decent start to paying for the frustration she'd caused him.

Kagome began wrestling the book from his hands, "absolutely not! You're going to get us all killed." He yanked it free of her hands.

"Not a fan of champagne?" He asked coyly.

"Sango, will you come over here and stop him?"

Kagome was holding tight to his wrists, terrified that he would manage to call room service before Sango could decide to intervene, "I don't really wanna get my head bitten off." After a bit more begging she said from the floor, "Sesshomaru, don't bankrupt your family." That was feeble and entirely not convincing.

So he did it, draping one leg over the other as the others attempted to stop him.

"I didn't- I haven't-," his mother's confused cries passed the heavy wooden doors of the private room, "Touga, I swear it wasn't me. Why would I spend five million yen on wine?"

The door opened and his mother scowled at him, "you spiteful child, tell your father what you've done."

"I don't know what you're talking about mother."

She perched herself beside him, "I'm telling you, Touga. It was none other than your rotten son." He slid away from her, gliding towards his grandmother's bedroom with an evil little smirk upon his face.

"Grandmother, may I enter?"

She called him in and he knew he'd gotten away with it.

Grammy was sitting in her wheelchair, her knitting taking up the entirety of her lap, "why are you terrorizing your mother, my dear?" He settled himself on the floor, shrugging as he did.

"I don't take kindly to being denied."

Her laughter didn't used to rattle in her chest and he found himself feeling more melancholy than victorious. Making grandmother laugh had always been a secret pleasure of his.

"What a face from an emotionless young man." She beckoned him closer, stroking his hair when he was close enough, "I know you said you won't want another dog once your Lady passes on." Her hand trembled in his hair, but the action still managed to soothe him.

"She's been a part of my life for thirteen years, how could I replace her?" He was not so disloyal that he would just forget about her and love someone new.

Still, he could tell where his grandmother was going with her line of conversation, "you won't be replacing her, you'll just be passing that love on. Besides, your mother and I feel bad for stealing Lady Floof from you."

He didn't shy away from the way her fingers roamed along the curve of his cheeks, "I'm not a fan of your thinly veiled threats," and she laughed again, that heinous rattling far more pronounced.

"Baby, people die." She went back to her knitting, "nobody's threatening you. I just want to be sure that you have someone watching over you in my stead."

He hated hearing her reference her mortality so readily, "sounds like propaganda, but I will allow you to buy me another dog provided you send along an attendant. I'm not so patient that I can be bothered with training."

"So, are you going to get married before I die? Or will you force me to attend as a ghost?"

He huffed, his shoulders rounding with the sheer weight of such a question, "with the way I'm headed I'll also be a ghost by the time I find someone willing to put up with me."

"So I take it that you plan to reject Haruhi?" She pointed at a wicker basket filled to bursting with vibrant yarns and he held it out to her, "I do recall that you swore you'd only reject her should 'someone better come along'. So who is this someone better?"

She motioned for him to pick a color, "it will be for your 'someone better'." It wasn't hard to find the perfect shade of coral. Even buried beneath a dozen blinding hues, that particular yarn seemed to bounce to the forefront.

"I'd rather not say. She's not someone that mother or father would approve of as a partner." While he didn't much care if they approved or not, he was hoping to -at very least- finish law school if he was going to get disinherited.

"I don't answer to either of those dizzy lovebirds."

Mother's insistence that Sesshomaru was rotten and spoiled could still be heard, "maybe not, but your desperation to see me married may lead you to out me way sooner than I'm ready. You'll have to forgive my secret keeping."

"I hope you're happy, Sesshomaru." His mother looked to be nice and scolded when she returned, "one reason I shouldn't wring your spiteful little neck?"

He shrugged, cutting his eyes away from her as his grandmother rustled the silver strands along the crown of his head, "you know better than to tell our baby no. This is your own fault."

Her next breath came in a long hiss, "I guess."

"Are you serious!" InuYasha and Kagome fell from their places near the door, but it was his dull minded brother who did the speaking, "he spent five million yen and you're going to give him the thing he bought and refrain from strangling him like Bart Simpson?"

"Not that I need the product of my husband's infidelity telling me how to handle my son, but I can assure you that choking Sesshomaru would only lead to another Mother Framing tantrum." She glared at him, "besides, making him drink the champagne he bought is a fine punishment. The calories are sure to be a cause of complaint for our Princess."

If she thought for one second that he would not feed it to Sango then she was very wrong.

"Now hop to it you rotten child," mother extended a hand to help him up and caught grandmother's hidden cane about her ankles.

"Stop bullying my grandson, you shouldn't have been so hard on him. You should be proud that he's growing up and trying to learn from hard situations, not treating him like a child and then demanding his obedience."

He stuck his tongue out at InuYasha, a rare show of childishness as he collected those that hadn't been snooping.

Introductions for Kagome and Miroku went smoothly enough. She held no real interest in them and they had no real interest with her.

Grammy and InuYasha, however, were ice in a deep fryer. They squabbled from the moment they laid eyes on each other until the moment Sesshomaru dragged him out of the room, moments from pummeling him for working his grandmother into a coughing fit.

"How can she hate me for being born!" InuYasha snapped, yanking away from Sesshomaru, "she's absolutely insane!" Something like tar bubbled along his skin and he realized just how impaired his thinking had to have been for him to be fantasizing about fist fighting anyone.

Stabbing was more his style.

"You are very easy to dislike. You disregarded the rules of Japan, again,to a woman who you knew was old fashioned. As one of the youngest people in the room you should be the first to bow your head, the first to excuse yourself, the first to-,"

"Yeah, well I ain't Japanese. She didn't have to be such an asshole-!" Not being Japanese wasn't a reason to work up a sick old woman to that degree. Was the rattling in his chest not enough of a deterrent for the brainless? How difficult was it to be polite?

His grandmother's time on Earth was coming to a close- that was plain for anyone to see and yet InuYasha could only lament being called a few names?

To think that Sesshomaru had been so good about controlling his temper up until that moment.

He shook the pain from his fist and knelt next to InuYasha, the desire to lower his fist into his mouth nearly overwhelming in the face of his brother's sudden gasping.

"I don't say a word against your homewrecking whore of a mother or your other trailer trash relatives, so I'd appreciate it if we could continue to walk the path of mutual respect."

Sesshomaru was not handling this little reunion well.

"I'm going to handle it from here." Mother told him sternly, "honestly, Sesshomaru, what has gotten into you today? Tantrums? Fighting? You're behaving quite poorly." Of course all she cared about was how he was behaving in front of people.

God forbid she take a moment to use her brain and consider why. His prickly behavior might have had something to do with his overwhelming exhaustion, but - hey- it wasn't like he was human. Perfect Sesshomaru wasn't perfect. What a fucking surprise.

"It's no big deal," InuYasha grunted, "he hits like a girl."

For someone talking so much shit he sure looked to be in pain, "apologies. I will take my Lady and retire, if that's alright."

She pulled a face, "be sure to round up your guests before you go and, if it's not too much trouble, try to keep your cool while doing it."

oOo

"Don't be such a lame," InuYasha was shoving a glass of champagne between Sesshomaru's fingers, "this is your own fault. You can't expect us to drink all of it."

Sesshomaru did -in fact- expect them to drink all of it. There were four of them, it wouldn't be that difficult, "less whining, more drinking. It's not every day nii sama makes such a valiant sacrifice for you."

"Don't you think the two of you are past the sama?" Miroku asked lightly, he held himself as if he were the son of decadence and indulgence, sipping the champagne with a finesse that InuYasha lacked. It seemed that Miroku knew the bubbles were meant to melt along your tongue, that one did not drink champagne so much as they enjoyed it.

"I don't know a thing about InuYasha and he doesn't know a thing about me. So, no, I don't think that at all."

InuYasha pointed to the glass that Sesshomaru sat down, "drink it you stubborn cow." He would do no such thing, "Sango feels really bad for not having a ton of time to hang out with you so she's tasked Miroku and I with getting you ready for Cry Night."

Sesshomaru nearly spluttered, "cry night?" He could hardly imagine InuYasha and Miroku hanging on to one another, wailing about the world's injustices. So, while he was sure it wasn't as it sounded, he had no choice but to wonder if he looked like the type of guy to burst into tears without lethal provocation.

Miroku nodded, his easy smile never leaving his face, "even a man like you has to be… pent up."

"Goddamn it, Miroku." InuYasha slammed his hand on the counter, "stop trying to fuck my brother!"

He chuckled into his class, "I'm not trying to do anything to our dear senpai. He asked a question and I did my best to answer it."

"I mean it, horny bastard. There are too many people trying to fuck him at this point." InuYasha took a mouthful from his cup and Sesshomaru followed suit, hoping to keep him talking, "it's disgusting. I mean- look at him!"

Bitch. Sesshomaru knew he was beautiful.

"I thought you wanted me to not want to fuck him."

Idly, Sesshomaru twirled the glass, "sorry, you're not my type."

"Implying you do have a type?" Miroku pushed, he struck a pose. If there were ever a man who was silly for silliness' sake, he supposed it would be the one beside him, "because I can be whatever you want me to be for the night." InuYasha started throwing things.

"I'm not going to endure this!"

Sesshomaru took another delicate sip from the bubbles, allowing himself a moment of contemplation. Miroku was tall and lean, perfectly handsome, but his violet eyes were as sharp as darts.

And he liked his boys dumb.

"If you'd never brought up people wanting to fuck me this could have all been avoided."

InuYasha glared across the counter, "if you'd been straight this all could have been avoided." Sesshomaru shrugged at him, twirling the glass as he tried to keep his giddiness to himself. He couldn't help but wonder who the other half of 'too many' could be. Of course he knew who he wanted it to be, but he rarely got what he wanted.

"How can you say that when you aren't straight either?" Miroku teased, "I still remember our sleepover before graduation, you know. You can't call it a drunken mistake if you remember it."

Sesshomaru watched them chase one another, "it's called experimenting," InuYasha barked, "and mom says it's totally fine if you're with someone you trust!"

"It's experimenting if it's a one time thing." Miroku chuckled. He danced around InuYasha's wild swinging, "isn't that right, senpai?"

"I suppose. It stops being an experiment once you know it works."

InuYasha huffed at the both of them, "whose side are you on, Sesshomaru!"

Whichever side amused him most at the moment. Currently? Miroku's. "Are you two planning to finish your explanation or should I retire to my own company."

He was not blind to Miroku's sneaking farther away from InuYasha, "it's hardly my fault that InuYasha got all pissy at me for taking my chance. If She Who Refuses to be Named gets her hooks in you then it's pretty much game over for me."

InuYasha snorted, "she's so not his type. I imagine he likes those stuffy kinds of women. Sango told me what his ex is like!"

Miroku shook his head, "no way. I'll bet you anything that that was a one time thing. He likes them loud and dumb."

InuYasha extended his hand, "you're going to go and buy the beers if I'm right."

"And you're going to let me hug you if I'm right." What a bizarre bartering system. It would seem that they gambled for fun. Unthinkable. Kagura and Kikyo were often out for blood, making unthinkable bets of slavery and mischief.

He didn't gamble with them often.

"So, what's the verdict?" InuYasha was tapping the counter, abuzz with impatience.

"There's no merit in telling either of you anything."

Miroku huffed at him, "the joy of getting along with your housemates not enough for you? I know someone who would greatly appreciate the effort you're expending."

What a con artist, "you're both half right. I like vibrant and intelligent women."

"Told you he wasn't into Sa- er, her." InuYasha went back to his drink, "he's just inconsiderately rich."

"If anything, that proved it." Miroku insisted, he was incredulous, struck stupid by his own friend's ability to be completely thrown off course by simple rephrasing, "he wouldn't be attracted to her if he thought she was stupid."

Sesshomaru couldn't help himself, "that's clearly not very true. You and InuYasha seem to be attracted to each other and you seem to find InuYasha very stupid." He twirled his glass again, wondering what he could say that would keep his feelings ambiguous.

The last thing he needed was InuYasha knowing how he felt about Sango.

Bored of their bickering, he'd almost made his way into the sanctity of the bedroom they'd share when Miroku trotted over and dragged him back. Dammit all.

"You are very uninterested in getting to know us."

"If you're aware of that then why are you so adamant on keeping me nearby?"

InuYasha put the mostly full glass back into his hand, "because you haven't finished that yet. And because Sango is going to kill us if you escape."

Lady Floof came lumbering from an open door, leading the parade of women, "so!" Sango's hair was damp and he could only assume that she'd had a nice shower, "will you join us?"

"Believe it or not," he sat on the floor, relishing his Lady's comforting weight. She never did get the memo that she was too big for his lap, "they haven't told me what Cry Night is."

He could hear their cries of pain and fear, but he couldn't quite tell what ailed them from his place beneath his Lady. She laid her massive head beside his own, but the fur still obstructed his view.

"It's like a bonding exercise." Kagome told him, "we all sit in a circle and get absolutely plastered," he would roll his eyes if he thought it would do him any good, "and then we talk about things that we can't normally talk about. Nothing gets repeated and no one judges anyone if they cry. It's something InuYasha used to do with his mom when he was back at home."

"His mom was letting him get drunk at fourteen?" No wonder he was stupid, between being American and being raised by a thoughtless hippie, his brain never truly stood a chance.

"No, he's close with his mom so they can just talk… about anything. We do the drinking bit because -at first- none of us were all that comfortable airing our problems. Now it's just tradition."

Sounded like a drag. He was perfectly content to be sad on his own time when the moment arose.

"No thank you. I don't like or trust any of you well enough to engage in something like that."

She looked a bit downtrodden, but accepted his reasoning without complaint, "you don't have to share, we just want to include you. Your friends are back in Tokyo and with your grandmother seeming so sick Sango was- well, we're all worried that you don't really have anyone to rely on."

"Wholesome." And it was. His relationship with his friends was much more abrasive, less frills and more barbs. There was no doubt in his mind who he would confide in once his grandmother's condition caught up with her, but he could also appreciate their gentle dispositions.

Miroku was on the counter, huddled directly in the middle, "besides, we cuddle afterwards. You look like the kind of man who hasn't had a cuddle in twenty two years."

"Go to hell."

Miroku leaned over the side, testing gravity as he did, "If I came down there and offered you a nice squeeze you'd undoubtedly swing on me."

Sesshomaru shrugged as best as he could from beneath Lady's weight, "undoubtedly."

Sango knelt at his side and he found himself trying not to look at her. No part of him could believe that there was any chance that she could want him. She was so blah. So…

When grammy had found it hard to breathe it was Sango who sprung into action. She lacked hesitation and fear as she helped her regain her composure, blazing a trail of pure intentions wherever she went.

But how could such a force of nature want anything to do with him? He was petty and dishonest, vengeful and manipulative. In what world did it make sense for someone so radiant to find any interest in someone so grey.

He hadn't even told her the truth about his sexuality. He was a man built upon merit and gain and dishonesty and he felt aggressively unworthy of her attention.

"Kagome's right. You don't have to talk if you don't want to, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't care either way." Sango tugged her wayward strands behind her ear, "you look like you could use the outlet."

How was he supposed to say no to something like that? What kind of beast could be pinned beneath that melting, chocolate gaze and continue to think that his dignity meant anything.

"Keh," he wished he could sink deeper beneath the heavy fur atop his chest, "fine." In the end, it wasn't worth it to be aloof- not when there was a chance he could grow closer to understanding Sango and being understood in return.

Gods he was selfish.

oOo

A.N./ Guest if you think I'm not saving the abuse for a later chapter you're wrong. InuYasha doesn't deserve ankles the same way he doesn't deserve rights. Also, HOW ARE YOU SO FREAKING FAST. Are you on EST you can't be