Chapter 11: Crisis Management
Summary: The gang handles a situation
"Daddy, why is Frankie so mad?"
Jeff grimaced as he pushed the stroller down the sidewalk, Ruffles' leash looped through one hand and Sophie walked in her slow and meandering way next to the dog. She had pleaded with him to hold the leash, but he knew better and luckily they had gotten through that grouchy moment fairly quickly. They had made it to the end of the block and just turned onto the next street. He wasn't sure how long they'd be gone, but he figured they had needed to escape for a little while so Frankie could have her meltdown. Rachel had scurried upstairs, not wanting to get involved (wise woman) and tend to Annie (he hoped she'd forgive him), and Britta had insisted she'd therapize everyone so that Frankie would see that Ruffles was a valued member of Greendale.
He had known better and announced he was getting Ruffles out of there but would be back. He handed Ian a wad of cash to order some pizza and then texted Abed and Troy to come over. Might as well surrender, and he was pretty sure only Abed, having spent so much time with Frankie and knowing Frankie was responsive to Abed's 'moonman talk,' could do anything about this.
He answered Sophie's question, "I don't know exactly, but I think it's because she just figured out that Ruffles has been going to school with Uncle Ian."
"Ruffles loves school. Why does Frankie not want her there?"
He paused the stroller and took a moment to walk to the front and crouch down to make sure Sebastian was still settled. It was evening but summertime, so the sun was still up, but Sebstian tended to fall asleep for his mid-evening nap around now. To his surprise, the baby's eyes were wide open and he seemed to be enjoying the view, swatting at Jeff as he obstructed it. Jeff chuckled and poked his nose before turning to his side at an inquisitive Sophie.
As he rubbed Ruffles ears, he replied, "Because dogs don't usually go to school."
"They don't?" She seemed pretty skeptical.
"Shocker. But Ruffles here is a special dog and does go to school. Frankie is in charge of the school though, and since dogs usually don't go to school, she might not understand."
"She kick Ruffles out of school? Oh, no. Ruffles."
The tears started to flow, and Jeff pulled her in for a hug, at least as much as he could muster while crouched down and holding onto a now wiggly dog. That seemed to help, as he murmured some words of comfort.
"I'll talk to Frankie. We'll see. But even if Ruffles can't go to school, we'll make sure she has somewhere else she can play."
"You'll take her with you to work?"
"Ummm…"
Suddenly he was saved by a familiar and literal gasp of surprise. He glanced up to see Eustice Whitman staring down at him from a couple feet away.
"Jeff Winger!"
"Hey Professor Whitman."
"Hi Professor Whitman!"
"Eustice, please. Now that you're faculty. Hi Sophie."
Jeff disentangled himself from Sophie and stood, noticing for the first time that Eustice, dressed in cargo shorts and flip flops, was pulling a red wagon behind him and there appeared to be a small child inside. The little boy was peeking from behind him and staring at Sophie, who was already making her way over.
"Hi!"
"Hi!"
Jeff smiled in incredulity but then remembered something about Eustice chairing the new Greendale daycare committee with Frankie. Although he knew he had a kid, it was very weird to see him with one, and upon closer inspection, the child was probably maybe a year or a little more younger than Sophie. He guessed Eustice was about fifty, so he was kind of an old dad.
"Hi, Eustice. Crazy running into you here."
It was pretty strange to see him outside of Greendale, and Jeff was relieved that he had asked him to call him by his first name. He hadn't seen much of him since having him for Accounting and Debate first year but had run into him more this summer. He had wondered about how he had felt about him teaching summer school, as up until this point he had gotten the distinct impression Eustice had been avoiding him for some reason. Whenever he was in the faculty lounge, he'd find an excuse to leave. It was never anything out right rude, and he'd always acknowledge him and seemed to try to rally for a second, but it was definitely odd.
Eustice shook his hand for some reason, an oddly formal gesture at odds with a first name basis, and then glanced down at Ruffles and remarked, "Ahh, hello Ruffles. Good to see you."
"Woof!"
He then peered down at Sebastian in his stroller and paused, taking a deep breath before he said, "Aww, I rarely see this one. He's getting big."
"Yeah, he's started crawling, well more scooting." Jeff tilted his head down to spot Sebastian gumming on his bear's ears without a seeming care in the world.
"That's so fun."
Jeff smiled and then glanced over at the kids, who were jabbering away about what looked to be a giant ass rock in the wagon and said, "I heard you had a kid. He's extremely cute."
Something indiscernible flashed across Eustice's face, and Jeff wondered if it was embarrassment. He slightly stammered, "Um, yes. Err, Jeff, this is my son, Jamie." He turned toward the wagon and said, "Jamie, this is daddy's friend Jeff and this is Sophie."
The boy looked up and grinned. He did seem younger than Sophie, for he still had chubbier cheeks. He smiled at Jeff and said somewhat stiltily, "Hi. I like Sophie. Can she come over and play?"
Eustice stiffened and said, "Um, maybe some other time. We have to get home for dinner."
Now fully dawning on him that he had never considered what Eustice got up to in his personal life but worlds were obviously colliding, he said, "Hey, we just moved in down the block. You live around here?"
It took more seconds than Jeff would have supposed, but Eustice cleared his throat and replied, "Yes. We um, live over on Broadmore."
"That's this street."
"Right."
"Where?" Jeff began to scan up and down the block.
"You, um, just moved in?"
"Right around the corner."
"Daddy, we live right there, silly." Jamie was pointing straight across the street to a charming light blue Victorian, yard immaculately landscaped with a running fountain. Of course Eustice lived in a house with a fountain. Jeff wondered how he afforded it on a community college instructor salary, knowing that his wife apparently taught at City College and couldn't be making much more.
"Um, silly me, yes, that's our house."
Jeff tilted his head and considered that perhaps Eustice wasn't that thrilled with worlds colliding or perhaps he was really just as flighty outside of school as he was when he taught accounting. There was more than a fair chance he actually had forgotten where he lived.
"Crazy. We're neighbors."
Eustice nodded and almost appeared at a loss for words for a second as he stared at his very own house from across the street. He managed, "I guess we are."
"Daddy, let's take Sophie over for dinner. Her daddy can come too. Maybe Mommy's done with all her work."
Fully familiar with how awkward it could be when a small child started inviting over all their new friends, Jeff quickly said, "We already had dinner, Jamie, but thank you. Maybe some other time. Sophie and I should actually get home too."
Jamie's pouted, and for the first time Jeff got a good look at the kid. He was sandy haired with piercing blue eyes and reminded him of Sam. He was actually kind of stunning, and he wondered what Eustice's wife looked like since the kid didn't resemble him one bit. He considered perhaps he was adopted like Sophie. For some reason it was hard to look away from him, but Eustice's slap on the back startled him back.
"Well, we should get going. Welcome to the neighborhood!"
"Thanks."
"Sophie you come over soon, okay? I'll talk to my Mommy and she can talk to your Mommy."
"Yeah, I want to see your moat."
"My moat is in back of my house."
"My moat is too."
Jeff couldn't stop his smile and said, "Wow, they have so much in common. We probably should get them together. And I'd love to meet Jamie's mom."
He knew it was a reach and maybe a little presumptuous, but heck the kid had already invited them over, and they lived around the damn corner. They'd likely be running into each other all the time, if not on the street eventually at the elementary school. They'd have to figure out a way to handle it. Plus he was more than a little curious to find out who had snagged the ethereal Eustice Whitman as a husband. He had feeling Annie would be as well.
"Yes, sure thing." Eustice, now obviously sweating, gave air pepper guns for some reason and within seconds had scurried away, wagon trailing behind as the kids called out their farewells.
X
X
It was with much trepidation that Jeff returned with the kids and Ruffles, squeaking open the backdoor as they had made their way in through the path at the edge of the backyard. Initially he fooled himself into thinking maybe everyone had gone home but then he heard Abed's voice coming from the living room.
"So that's how that happened."
And then Frankie's incredulous exasperation.
"So Ruffles Edelstein is Jeff and Annie's dog and was formally enrolled in a Psychology class along with apparently P.E. and Criminology, and she has an official transcript?!"
"Hey, I didn't know she was in my Criminology class, although upon further reflection that makes sense since sometimes Ian drops her off for a minute when he goes to the cafeteria."
"That's because she can't be around all that food, Buzz, or she'll go a wee bit doggy insane."
Jeff was now wondering when Buzz had gotten here and suspecting his mother might also be around which filled him with dread about Rachel likely still being upstairs. He considered although their lives were pretty great these days, it was moments like these that he realized he would likely never escape being on the edge of an ulcer. He knew he was prone to anxiety and Annie would always try to reassure him, but he couldn't help but always feel responsible for others. In the past he would have cut and run due to the weight of that, but that was no longer his MO.
No, Jeff Winger prided himself these days on honoring his responsibilities. There's no way he'd abandon his loved ones or allow anyone else to clean up his mess.
He kept Ruffles on her leash which he knew annoyed her but considered how he was best going to balance Sebastian, who was looking at him with his Annie eyes, and the dog while shooing Sophie somewhere when he heard Craig's sobs from the living room.
"I'm such a bad Dean! I was only trying to do what was right! She's so cute!"
He closed his eyes and grimaced, wondering how many people were now in the living room. As if on cue the doorbell rang (he hoped Annie hadn't heard it from upstairs) and he smelled the aroma of pizza as he heard someone open the door.
"Oh, there you are dear."
He opened his eyes and looked up to the welcoming sight of his mother, having just come in from the living room. She wore a wearied expression, but she smiled as she saw the kids and then bent down to hug Sophie and then began unbuckling a squirmy Sebastian from the stroller.
"I'm so glad to see both my grandchildren. Why, Sebastian you got bigger than when I saw you this afternoon."
"Gooooo!"
"He says hi grandma."
"Oh I know, dear, I know."
"Thanks, mom."
She turned to him as she stood with the baby, who was running spitty fingers over her cheek, and said, "I think you should go in there, dear. The Dean has confessed. Frankie knows everything but there's been a bit of wrench you see."
"Hmm?"
"Apparently, in addition to Frankie discovering that Ruffles is a student at Greendale, the college's reputation is about to be ruined using that information."
X
X
After his mother filled him in and he learned that Craig and Stephen had a horrible fight and that when Craig had taken the day off today to patch things up that he had made it worse (shocker), Jeff entered the living room. He was resigned to the idea of having to convince Stephen not to air an attack ad outing Greendale for having a dog in classes.
"Everyone, stop. I've arrived to fix this mess."
He made the cutting hand gesture, and everyone quieted, with the exception of Frankie who marched toward him and stared at Ruffles in his arms.
"Jeff, I believe I am up to speed. This Ruffles here," she indicated with her head toward the dog, "is apparently enrolled in classes and Stephen Spreck, the dean of City College, is threatening to air a commercial stating this in an attempt to ruin our image. Why did you let this happen?"
Her dark eyes were boring into his, and he could understand why people listened to her. He briefly wondered if she'd consider making the switch into law and joining his firm.
Affecting a bored countenance, he said, "Come on. Craig, call Stephen off."
"I can't, Jeffrey! The things he said to me!"
Jeff rolled his eyes and then noticed Troy and Abed were putting a DVD into the player as Ian, Britta, and Buzz stood around with slices of pizza. At least Pierce was nowhere to be seen.
"What's this?"
Abed cocked his head and explained, "I was able to get a copy of the attack ad. Don't ask me how, but this will be illuminating."
Jeff stomped over and grabbed a slice of pizza, turning toward the dynamic duo and saying,
"Fine. Show me."
X
X
Several awkward moments later, mostly awkward because it was a poorly filmed attack ad and because Abed kept making wry cracks about the script, they all sat down to discuss the situation, Troy having pulled chairs from the dining area and some creative use of cushions to get them all to fit. Dorie and the kids had gone upstairs, and Jeff inwardly prayed Dorie and Rachel would have the good sense not to interact much.
Jeff announced, "So I think I have a strategy to prevent City College from airing this ad."
In unison he and Frankie said, "Ruffles hasn't received a degree, so the commercial is technically slander."
His eyes opened wide as he turned to stare at Frankie. She was puffing up her chest and lifting her nose in the air, but it wasn't an affected confidence. It was real.
Damn she'd make a great lawyer.
He said, somewhat flustered, "Right. She's just in classes but hasn't graduated, which means they're lying about saying she has a diploma."
Everyone murmured their relief when all of a sudden a sweatpant and hoodie clad Annie, her hair askew and lip gloss smudged, shouted from the staircase, "Noooo! We have to own up to our mistake! No one should have enrolled Ruffles in classes!"
"Annie."
Jeff immediately made his way to her, Ruffles getting there first and whining softly at her leg. Annie started to bend down but winced, and he knew she still had a migraine and was clutching the banister to steady herself. He stared past her up the stairs to see his mother and Rachel at the top, both seeming a bit frantic. He assumed they had tried to stop her but couldn't and he felt some sympathy. He placed his hand on Annie's shoulder and whispered, "Go back up to bed. I'll fix this."
She hissed through what he assumed to be tremendous pain, "Noooo, Jeff. That's a technicality."
"I've gotten people off for technicalities all the time. It was kind of my thing."
She gave him a pointed look, and he suddenly knew what he meant. Still, he groaned, "Oh come on, this is different Stephen's just being vindictive. I'm sure when he and Craig patch things up he'll regret the whole thing."
"This is Stephen we're talking about, he holds onto grudges even if I never promised him I wouldn't see a dalmatian, or um, a man in a dalmatian suit." The Dean was leaning over his shoulder, his eyes half closed, and Jeff shoved him and ignored the statement.
Instead he said, "Annie, my point is that none of this really matters. So we'll squash it with a technicality and then figure out the rest. It's different this time. We don't need to have a pure crusade."
Frankie, now by his other side, asked with a tone full of gravitas, "What purpose does honesty have if it destroys Greendale?"
Jeff nodded, "Exactly my point."
Annie whispered, "Jeff, you're better than this."
The statement got to him in more ways that it probably should have, especially her follow up comment.
"You've changed. You're no longer deceitful, even if technically you can be in a situation. You stand up for what's right, and you own up to your mistakes. Greendale needs to own up to what it's done."
"Well crap."
X
X
Around three in the morning, so about four hours before Stephen had threatened to air his attack ad, they all, minus Rachel who was sleeping upstairs in the guestroom in what was supposed to be Anthony's bed on visits, gathered around the television as Pavel popped in a DVD. Dorie had just come back downstairs after checking on the kids but slid into Buzz's arms as Jeff tried to ignore it. He had Annie in his own, as she was fiercely determined to see this thing through and had even helped with Craig's makeup before taking another nap. Frankie had gone home to tend to her sister and then back again with alarming efficiency and been barking orders throughout. Turns out between her and Abed they had a decent directing team.
The commercial started, with Craig seated on a desk and Ruffles at his side. They had gone back to campus for a couple hours to shoot it, and Ruffles seemed happy to be at familiar territory.
"This is Ruffles. Ruffles is a student at Greendale Community College, and she might one day come close to getting a degree, which means two things. She's an exceptional dog, and Greendale really needs to get its shit together. We're working on it. We're working hard. And the good news is, when you work hard at Greendale, no matter who or what you are, it pays off. Right, Ruffles?"
"Woof!"
"Greendale Community College. You're already accepted."
Jeff hugged Annie in tight, and she whispered into his ear, "Awww, you guys did it. I'm so proud of you. Taking responsibility."
"I love you."
"Love you too."
Everyone seemed pleased, and upon Frankie's ok, Pavel and Abed rushed the tape over to the local station while Jeff sent Stephen a carefully crafted email explaining they would be airing their commercial first. He then shut the laptop and coaxed Annie upright.
Troy bounded up to them and asked, "Hey man, can I stay over here tonight? I'm wicked tired."
"Yeah, I don't care. But you'll have to sleep down here. Don't wake up the kids."
"Thanks, Jeff."
He glanced over at the pile that was now Britta, Ian, and the Dean snoring on the floor and was not that surprised. He was grateful they were at home and not in the study room. They had clearly progressed from those days.
Frankie, Buzz and his mother were making their way toward the door, and he waved at them.
"Good night guys."
Annie grunted something similar and he was about to take her upstairs when Frankie shuffled over and said, "You were a formidable opponent, Jeff, but I am glad we ended up on the same team."
"I'm sorry Frankie, but I didn't even realize my dog was enrolled in classes, or maybe I did but I kinda forgot or didn't think Craig was serious. It's a situation we can both agree is incredibly stupid."
There was an almost imperceptible smile, and she nodded her comprehension.
"Good night, Jeff. Good night, Annie. Hope you feel better soon."
X
X
In the end, Sophie somehow convinced Frankie to allow Ruffles to still attend Greendale, under the stipulation that she would be withdrawn from class rosters. It was the sort of compromise that only Sophie could broker, for it turns out she had won Frankie completely over, for Frankie had never before really talked to a child and didn't have any defensive maneuvers.
As Frankie knelt down in front of Sophie two days after Greendale's commercial aired, she explained, "I was wrong. Your dog is very much what Greendale needs. Turns out all the students adore her, and since running our commercial we've had a surge of enrollment interest. Thank you, Sophie. Thank you for teaching me."
"Aww, Frankie, of course I teach you things. I'm almost in kindergarten." Sophie blushed while also seeming to be quite pleased with herself.
"Really? You seem too smart for kindergarten. All I remember from my experience is a kid eating paste."
"You wanna come to my birthday party? I'm almost five."
Sophie puffed out her chest and waited for some excitement at this information, but Frankie swiftly said, "Oh no, I don't do kid birthday parties. I wouldn't be any fun. But how about I get you a present?"
That got Sophie, and she nodded enthusiastically.
As they continued, Jeff turned to Annie, now completely recovered from her migraine, and he motioned her out of Frankie's office and back into the administration area. His mom was at lunch, so he plopped down in her chair and pulled a giggling Annie onto his lap.
"Frankie likes Ruffles and our kids."
"Yeah, that was surprising."
Annie gave him a pointed look and said, "She's great for Greendale."
"Finally, everything is settled."
"And she's going to help us shape up the daycare center."
Suddenly remembering, he said, "You'll never guess who I ran into the other night on my walk when all the drama was going down with City College."
He waited for several beats until she swatted him with impatience and he answered, "Professor Whitman. Sorry, I mean Eustice. Apparently he's one of our neighbors. His son is super cute, he and Sophie got along and if we play our cards right we may get an invitation to dinner at their house and get to meet the elusive and sure to be either just as whimsical or if not oppositely grounded Mrs. Whitman."
Annie's eyes widened, and he wiggled his eyebrows to confirm.
"That's crazy, Jeff."
"Yeah, small world."
"Aww, I love Professor Whitman. He was partly responsible for us getting together."
They leaned in for a kiss, but they were interrupted by a hissing sound.
Stephen Spreck marched up to the administration desk. Before they could ask him what he was doing, he flashed them a terse smile and placed a stuffed dalmatian of about a foot tall near the pens.
"Check mated, Mr. Winger. Check mated."
He then abruptly turned and left.