Chapter 10

Nightmares and Confidence

I was laying down on my bed…

The thing was I do not remember how I got here. Wait...I do, though. I think it was Ram or Roswell that carried me into bed.

Emilia, and Rem trailing behind. I do not remember what happened, but I think I passed out or my body just shut down as my face slammed into my plate of food. I could still feel it, Rem's flail...breaking into my chest and pushing my ribcage out.

I could still taste it, Rem's fingers. The copper taste of blood and the flesh. I didn't have a choice; she was going to drown me. My breathing got rough as I sat up from the head of the bed, my breathing getting ragged as I tried to calm down.

The pain was diminishing, but my mind was deteriorating. "How…" I murmured aimlessly to myself inside of the dark bedroom. "How...I can't escape or fight back!"

My right hand went to my bare chest as it rested over my rapidly beating heart. Calm down, relax I commanded to myself to only be revisited by the memories.

Something came from the edge of the room. A wet slopping sound that broke through the darkness as it neared closer to me. "Rem…" I murmured out as I backed further into the bed.

"Please...I don't want to die, not again." I begged as I tucked my knees into my chest.

It came closer as I heard it increase but I heard a voice...a voice which I have not heard in years.

"Dismas…" The voice came out with a croak, due to its lungs getting deflated due to the blacksmith hammer getting smashed into it. "Dismas…" It once again repeated.

I gazed up at the figure. Its overalls were filled with blood and bullet holes, not anymore spilling blood but yellow infected mucus. Its face smashed in with fist, and hammer. Bruises and welts decorated the once handsome face, his right eye poking out of the eye socket, the only thing keeping it tethered was the pink string.

One arm was bent in an odd angle while the fingers on the other were twisted and bent. But they still clutched the hammer, filled with pink brain matter.

He looked at me with his contorted smile. "Dismas...remember me. It's sure been a while, Son."

I gazed up at him. It's been years...years, ever since I had a nightmare of dad. It helped to try and push the memory into the darkest corners of my mind, to deal with it. Though it looks like the stress of what Rem did to me, did something far worse.

"You're not...you're not real…" I gritted out.

This is just a dream. A night terror...due to the trauma I had to deal with due to Rem and the assassin. This curse keeps on forcing me into an endless purgatory. How much could I take, before I would break?

"Sure I am... remember that day. You climbed onto that table, but as the bandits came you hid...like a coward."

I turned away from him. "I was only a child...what did you expect!"

"You...let...me...die" He spread out the words emptying in a bloodied laugh. "Remember how they snapped my bones or used my tools to twist and mangle my fingers...or how they bashed my arms with this." He spoke as he raised up the mallet.

"It was your fault!" I shouted, causing him to leap away in surprise. "They were bandits...dad!"

"Bandits…" He repeated awe struck.

"You were a fool...I get that you had a good conscience, but you rigged the whole gang's weaponry. You could of have played it off, only rigging the leader's weapon to misfire so the law could of have dealt with him." The crying began to commence. "But no... you had to be a hero."

"A highwayman...a failure...a coward. Shouldn't talk like they know everything!" He shouted at me, his blood flying out of his mouth as it danced along the floor.

"Fuck you...me and mom, and sis was on the way!" He stared at me, his face remaining unchanged. "What would have happened if they didn't stop with you! They could have killed me or mom, or even worse!"

He was taken aback. This was always how the conversation between me and him went, always the same dream. "Though you became...just like them."

"No...I had no choice. Tis was an accident, a reflex, I didn't mean to…" I prattled on, my fingers coursing through my hair as I repeated those endless words

"You are a monster...a murderer...a thief...it should have been you Dismas."

Those were the last words I heard as I woke up from oblivion. My form breaking through the sheets as my voice echoed throughout the room. The screaming breaking my eardrums as I fought against the sheets, I needed to run.

"Damon…" A soft voice echoed through the entrance of the room.

I turned my head to the side seeing Rem and Ram. Their pajamas clear evidence of them waking up from bed. My breathing was hoarse as I gripped onto my chest, sweat was covering me and doused my form as I threw away the sheets.

They both began to approach me. "Damon, do you…" They stopped as they saw me begin to shake, but it was not Ram...it was Rem.

I cannot let her know that I know what her plans are yet, but if she comes any closer. "Please...leave."

"Are you sure...maybe we can help." Rem asked, it kind of shocked me to hear Rem offer even the slightest bit of concern. Though she inched forward.

I needed to restrain myself. "No... you can't help. This isn't something that you can fix." I tried to show them my best smile, as I threw up a tired thumbs up. "It's fine. I will figure it out, and I am sorry for disturbing you."

They both silently bowed as they both went back to bed. I felt sick, so I opened the bedroom door into the hallway, taking quick glances down the hallway to make sure Rem wasn't around.

I opened the door leading to the bathroom to be greeted with…

"Hey, it's you!" I pointed to the strange girl reading her book in the center of the library. "Betty...was it?"

She glanced up at me. Completely uninterested, but then a thought occurred. If Rem was going to kill me, then she would do it when I was alone or vulnerable. "Hey, I am going to stay here...for a little while, okay." I nodded to her.

"You can't…"

I already knew what to say before she finished her sentence. "It's fine I don't want to read or anything."

My head hurt as I sat down near a bookshelf. I tucked my legs into my chest as I placed my head onto the wood of the bookshelf. I closed my eyes letting sleep take me, but the sporadic shakes stopped me from sleeping.

For maybe thirty minutes to an hour, I would doze off. Only to be reawakened by my body waking itself up. I was shaking and my fingers were moving so much that I could hardly control them. I felt...cold, almost detached from myself.

Luckily, the pain was gone, and I was able to begin to think straight. Though at the same time I could not think straight. I was afraid, so afraid…

"Mom...I'm scared." I murmured out unintentionally.

Back then...on nights that I was so afraid. Her warm voice would put me at ease, but she wasn't here anymore...none of them were with me. I pressed my knees deeper into my chest. As the slow humming of my breathing was all that was there.

Until I heard a soft pair of footsteps grace my direction. "Betty...Betty wishes to know if you are okay." She hesitantly asked.

I threw up a fake smile. "I'm fine!" I proclaimed.

"No, you're not…" I was about to interject but she beat me to the punch. "Betty has been listening to you. Whispering for your...mother, and you would shake in fear after every awakening."

She gazed down at me. I do not know why she seemed so off, but she seemed wiser than what someone would suppose. "Do you wish to speak about it…"

Maybe I could tell her...about this curse. "Ever Since I came here, I can come back and…"

Though my body ceased. And…. and...and...my whole body convulsed as I fought against the hand. It latched along my heart and squeezed, my whole body and pain spreading throughout me.

The moment it was done I was right back in the present. It was so quick, and the pain was there but I didn't even understand what happened. My own hand over my heart as I quickly patted it to make sure I was okay. "Oh god, what was that?" I whispered to myself.

The girl was still staring at me, and I needed to give an answer. Though what even happened? It was like a purple hand...squeezed my heart. Why, was it because I was going to expose the curse?

"I'm afraid...because, of all that's happened." She stared at me awestruck as I began to slowly cry, my voice breaking into a faint sob. "The assassin she nearly slaughtered me and Emlia, and now with the vanishing of my blessing of wind, and my defective gate. How can I contend, and protect myself and others?"

This was the truth, not a lie. How was I going to save others...or even myself? I thought before of the past loops of which I died in. First loop I was unprepared and didn't know of the threat, second loop I didn't realize the threat and what she posed, third loop I got close and killed her, but I wasn't thinking about certifying the kill, only for her to kill me and the rest.

How much do I need to suffer? How many bodies will I have to push away to overcome this endless summit with no end?

"I have yin magic...useless, can't even do anything with it." I slowly murmured.

"That's not true...it has offensive capabilities. I can teach you." My eyes opened as I grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Repeat that!"

She gazed down at my hands that were locked on her shoulders. "I can...teach you a couple of spells. Your gate is defective, and it will need work done, but if that is the thing bothering you so much, then I suppose having knowledge won't hurt."

I felt something stirring within myself...my sad sunken face being changed into a natural smile as the words began to resonate. "I can...still do magic?"

I released my hold as my conviction began to take hold. "I can...fight back?"

"Listen I need to see the nature of your gate and also your spells, do you know your preferred magic style?" She asked.

"Yeah...ummm, yin magic."

"That's pretty rare, it's sunrise so we should leave the library. It would be wiser for us to train in the outskirts of the estate rather than in here."

My hand went to rub my neck. "Thank you…"

"Betty isn't doing it for you I suppose. If bubby came in here and saw how sad you were, he would be inclined to tell the girl and he would be angry because the girl will be sad."

"Okay...but still, thank you." I repeated.

We both left the library as we entered the courtyard. The sun was dousing us in a crimson light, but it was neither violent nor cold, a warmth tickled my nose.

I was still wearing the robe and I did not care enough to gather my shoes because I was so excited to get out and learn.

"Okay, teacher. Let us begin!" I joyfully spoke as I pumped myself up

"Fine...I wish to see how powerful your abilities are." She nodded her head for me to get ready. "Perform a shammac."

I took a deep breath as I tried to visualize the mana entering my gate and coming out of it. "Okay, I'm ready." I emptied out my lungs as my voice radiated through the forest. "Shammac!"

Thick black smoke emptied from around me, I could not see but I could tell where I was standing. I tried to run away but...my hand closed against my chest as I grunted. "No... I have to get used to this!" I spat out as I threw myself out of the cloud of smoke.

"Amusing...I am shocked that bubby didn't mention this..."

I was breathing pretty hard but I could hear her words "Mention...what?" I asked between breaths

"Your shammac was very powerful...if your gate was okay. Then you would have made quite a powerful mage." She spoke.

"Okay, how about other magic." I shouted out in suspense as I shot up from the floor. The pain slowly beginning to diminish.

"You have a couple of options. Due to your lack of control over your gate there is a couple of spells that I can only teach you. A higher form of shammac, but after using it you will most likely be worse for wear." I didn't want to learn another shammac, but I'm not that sure about learning another defensive skill. So i nodded my head for her to continue.

"Or minya...an offensive technique. You form a materialized pike that can explode into different directions."

I already knew the answer. "Okay...Minya." I got up from the floor as I braced myself.

"I want you to try and imagine a pike forming. Try focusing on your gate and materialize it." She commanded as she hesitantly watched me.

The beating of my heart was now steady, but I still felt worried about overexerting myself. I took a deep breath as I imagined my gate, opening and trying to draw mana through it.

I then pictured a pike forming...a dark black pike that could breach even the strongest of defenses.

I nodded my head, seeing right above me a purple pike began to form. "I'm doing it, Betty!"

"Okay...good now try and…"

Instinctively I fired it. The pike cut through the wind like a bullet as it slammed into the ground ten meters away from the estate. "That's it?"

I was about to crack a joke about it being a letdown until I heard a massive boom. What followed next was the darkness of smoke. Did the pike...just explode?

"That was…"

My chest tightened up as I nearly fell to the floor. My head was beginning to spiral out of control, but it did not have the painful effects shammac had on me.

"Interesting…" She mused. "I would recommend that if you ever needed to fight to use your shammac only when necessary, it's strangely powerful and due to how powerful it is mixed with your lack of control over your gate, that is why your body gives out. Minya, maybe you could handle one or two spikes before your body gives out."

I slowly got back up from the ground. A newfound smile and confidence displayed over my face as I gazed along the exploded ground in front of me. "Now...I can fight back."

"Though be careful...your gate is still highly defective. If you keep on using magic like you did today it could have severe complications on your health."

"Yeah...I know. Puck already told me." I shrugged off. "But, hey...thank you, Betty. For giving me back a part of my confidence."

I got up from the ground as I made my way along the dirt road as I tried to retrace the steps from my loops.

"Betty...will head inside now. Hey, wait where are you going!" She shouted.

I turned around a newfound smile over my face. "I'm...going down this road. To fight back."

Author Note

Sup!

Thanks for reading you wonderful and awesome people! Wow nearly 70 people following! Thanks for the kind words and checking out the story. Quite a bit happened in the chapter. Dismas nightmares are getting worse, and the situation of what happened to his father was revealed. Also he learned a new spell. I liked this chapter but it was short. Next chapter should end the Rem vs Dismas battle and is going to be pretty long.

Thanks once again for reading and have a wonderful day!

Reviews

Krionik: Thanks bro I am glad that you enjoyed!

naufalrakha: Yeah next chapter is going to be intense!

Cheemz: I am unfamiliar with Yakuza. Though I got the reference. Thanks for reading and hopefully you like this chapter!