The next morning Owen found Nikki sitting at the kitchen table with her home work.
"Homework already," Owen asked.
"Teddy said we could do something fun when it was done," Nikki replied.
"I'd like to talk to you about Wednesday when your class is coming to work," Owen said.
"Why," Nikki asked.
"I talked to Teddy and Callie the orthopaedic surgeon," Owen began, "they want to do a set of X-rays showing how your body is positioned on pointe and a few other things. We're going to use you. I got moms permission to X-ray you."
"Why me," Nikki asked.
"Because we know you," Owen said, "it's not dealing with strange kids for medical imaging."
"What do I have to do," Nikki asked.
"Teddy has a list of poses," Owen replied.
"Will she be there directing," Nikki asked.
"You nad her can go over them at home," Owen said, "I don't want her anywhere near the X-ray if we can help it."
Owen pushed a list across the table to Nikki.
"Why," Nikki asked, "I'll need another person to hold these balances as long as the list says or a barre."
"I can hold you hand," Owen said, "Teddy can't not with the baby."
"Why," Nikki asked.
"The radiation isn't safe," Owen said.
"Where is Teddy," Nikki asked.
"Still sleeping," Owen said, "she's not feeling great and really tired. I thought you and I could have breakfast then I was going for a run. You can run with me or finish homework."
"Run but I'm not very fast," Nikki said.
"What homework are you avoiding," Owen asked.
"My heart chambers worksheet for anatomy," Nikki said, "it's all flipped around I don't get it and need help. And I have two chapters to read and summarize for English. Of Mice and Men is Boring."
"It was," Owen agreed, "I can help you with the heart assignment or you can wait and ask Teddy?"
"Isn't she the expert," Nikki said.
"She is," Owen said, "but I can do this part. I had to learn it and I work with her on hearts all the time but she's just better."
"Get the anatomy out and let's get it done before breakfast," Owen said.
"What's for breakfast," Nikki asked.
"Eggs and toast oaky," Owen asked.
"Toast," Nikki replied.
"Protein," Owen argued.
"Fine," Nikki agreed.
"Let's get homework done, breakfast, a run then Teddy should be up," Owen suggested.
"Okay," Nikki replied.
Nikki went and got her backpack and set her anatomy textbook and worksheet on the table. Owen sat beside her and patiently explained how the parts of the heart worked and how blood moved through it. Realizing his little sister remembered movements better than words he pointed to the spots on his own body and had her mirror his movements to identify them.
"Can we do that with the other organs and bones," Nikki asked, "that made sense to do it."
"We will," Owen replied, "get that worksheet done while I make breakfast."
"I don't like worksheets," Nikki whined.
"I know," Owen said, "you don't have subjects you like right now."
"Everyone else gets math but Mr. Collins has me peer tutoring," Nikki said.
"Why," Owen asked.
"I finished the senior math book last week but he wants to hold off on calculus until september," Nikki said, "I have some trig and geometry problems but he's only giving me two a day and it takes less than half the class."
Owen suggested, "maybe you could do some college math classes next year."
"Talk to mom and my school," Nikki said.
"I know you love to dance and that's plan A," Owen said, "I want you to think about plan B. seriously what would you do if you couldn't dance."
"Not medicine," Nikki replied, "I'm not as smart as you and Meg."
"I think you are," Owen said, "but you don't like medicine or don't want to follow us so what do you like?"
"Math," Nikki said, "I could be a mathmatician."
"Jobs," Owen suggested.
"So many of the math jobs are boring," Nikki replied, "engineering could be cool or a physicist using math. But I really like kids and helping with the preschool and kids classes. Maybe I could teach math."
"Where would you teach math," Owen asked.
"I don't know," Nikki replied, "I don't even know if I'm smart enough for college. I'm a ballerina. What college is going to take a pretty little ballerina?"
"Have you done your SAT," Owen asked.
"Not yet," Nikki replied, "mom says I have to in the fall. She signed me up for the end of September. I don't want to. Company auditions are in February, March and April. I should be getting ready for those."
"At your age I wanted to play soccer," Owen said, "I was first string forward I played in college. You were too young to remember. I wanted to play professionally , I had the work ethic, the references but there were guys that were better than me in college and at tryouts. Half way through college I realized that soccer is something I will always enjoy but it wasn't my true calling. I was fascinated by the human body and my anatomy courses. I didn't know at your age I wanted to be a doctor. I was about 19 when I figured it out, took the classes I needed and applied. You don't have to choose now squirt but pay attention to the subjects and topics that interest you. The classes you get excited for."
"What ever I do I'll always be the failure and the dumb one," Nikki said, "how can I compete with trauma surgeon saving soldiers?"
"Because it's not a competition," Owen said, "you are going to do amazing things Nikki. Youre one of us how could you not?"
"I'm not though," Nikki said, "I'm the only McCrae."
"I don't know why mom didn't change it after your dad left," Owen said, "Meghan suggested it that you matched us. But that's not the point. I've been watching you dance, listening to you when we talk or you talk with mom or Teddy. Nikki you are smart and you get things and see things differently from anyone I know. You work in numbers and patterns, ways I couldn't dream of doing. I'm not going to hear you call yourself the dumb one or the stupid one again."
"But i've always been the dumb baby," Nikki said, "even you said it."
"And I shouldn't have," Owen replied, "I said it a few years ago with out getting to know you. You were maybe 7 and you ran off to your room crying. Mom wasn't home but you have no idea the strip Meg took off me. She tried to beat me up over that."
"Meg," Nikki said, looking skeptical.
"She could have a temper," Owen said, "especially with me or when she thought there was an injustice. And a grown man picking on a 7 year old kid was wrong. I was angry. Not at you, not even really at mom but at your father. He was the exact opposite of my dad, mom doesn't want you to know this but your father wasn't a good man Nikki. The night before he took off you were 6 months old and your dad was drunk. Mom was at work and both Meg and I were home. I sent Meghan to take you for a walk in your stroller because Max was a mean drunk, he had hit Meg before and shaken you. I was just 17 starting my senior year and I knew that he would hurt you for crying if Meg and I couldn't keep you quiet. So I sent my sisters for a walk. I told Meg to come back when I turned the porch lights off and gave her the $15 I had in my wallet. Her best friend was three blocks over and knew what was happening at home. Max went to take his anger out on Meghan, but she wasn't home so he came looking for me. I was bigger and stronger even then and Max tried to hit me but I was faster. He took off to a bar and I finally told mom what had been going on when she got home and found the three of us huddled in Meg's bed. That's why mom doesn't want you to look for him. We wanted mom to change your last name to Hunt to keep you safe. I know mom will never tell you about your dad and there's no photos for you which is hard but it's okay. Of the three of us you look most like mom."
Teddy was laying in bed just listening to Owen speak. She didn't want them to know she was awake and to interrupt a conversation that had been many years in the making. Listening to Owen, Teddy knew he would be a great dad.
Nikki asked, "why didn't anyone tell me?"
"To protect you," Owen said, "it was always about protecting and loving you."
"But you didn't love me until Meg was gone," Nikki said.
"I always have," Owen shook his head, "I'm not good at showing it with you. You were so little I didn't know how. Then every time I came home you would be scared of me. It got worse when I joined the army."
"Your uniform was scary," Nikki admitted, "you didn't look like you. Then you would yell at me across the house."
"But you were never scared of Meg in uniform," Owen said.
"She didn't look scary," Nikki replied.
"She would always take her jacket off and have her hair down by the time we got to the house," Owen remembered, "it was just her pants and a Tshirt and I would leave it all until I could get home and shower."
"A t shirt isn't scary," Nikki said, "and she always came running in to hug me yelling squirt i'm home."
"She did," Owen smiled at the memory of Meghan scooping a 11 year old Nikki off the floor and spinning the child through the air, their red hair flying.
"You didn't spend time with just me," Nikki said, "the first time I talked to just you was in the ER."
"I know," Owen agreed, "and that's my fault. I was the adult Nikki I should have known better. I expected you to respond the way my friends would or Meg would. But you were a little kid. You were only 9 when I finished med school and enlisted. I didn't know how to connect with a little kid. Your world of tea parties, dress up and dolls was forgin to me. I still find the ballet stuff hard sometimes because I don't know anything about it. Teddy is really helping me understand. I want to watch you dance and learn but you need to show me."
"You came to parents week because mom was working," Nikki said, "and the shows."
"When's the next show," Owen asked.
"Nutcracker," Nikki replied.
"That's the one with the toy soldiers and the mouse and all the candy," Owen asked.
"It is," Nikki smiled, "I want to be snow queen or sugar plum this year. They're senior roles, it's my year. If I can get my english mark back to a B+."
"What do you have in English now," Owen asked.
"A B," Nikki replied, "I had an A before Miss Whitman found out you were home, then it went to a B+ and it came down again once she found out your with Teddy now. So it'll be a B- soon."
"It won't be," Owen replied, "I'm going to put a complaint in at your school about her. What she's doing isn't right."
"You won't change it," Nikki replied, "I just need to get back to a B+. if my of mice and men paper is perfect I should be good."
"Nikki I can," Owen said.
"Only mom can and it's not worth the fight," Nikki said, "it's impossible to prove anyway."
"I can help edit the paper," Owen offered.
"I'm okay," Nikki said, "the less of my school work you see the easier it is too fool you about me being the dumb one."
"You're not the dumb one," Owen groaned, "Nikki you are just as smart if not smarter why don't you believe that?"
"Because I hear it at church all the time," Nikki said, "her siblings are doctors and all she does is dance."
"It's gossip," Owen said, "your choosing to believe it. I'm going to start breakfast, finish that last question and come help me."
Nikki finished her last question and helped Owen start breakfast.
"Should we get Teddy," Nikki asked.
"I'm up," Teddy called from the bedroom.
"How much did you hear," Owen asked.
"A lot," Teddy admitted.
"You okay," Owen asked.
"Thirsty," Teddy replied, "what's for breakfast?"
"Eggs and toast," Owen replied, "then Nikki and I are going for a run."
"I'll clean up," Teddy replied, "I want a home morning anyway."
The three of them had breakfast together before Nikki went for a run with her older brother.