Matthew's helper

A couple of weeks later, Jackson sees April talking to Matthew and quickly looks away. He finally got the hospital to agree to let her help by arguing that they are understaffed, but she can only be there for a couple of hours at a time and not every day as she has to go home to relieve Catherine from the kids. Right now, Jackson is the one who can help Matthew most.

He goes away, giving them a moment of privacy. As for the kids, they haven't been able to come to see him yet...

When April is gone, Jackson talks to a lucid Matthew. "Thanks for allowing April to help out. I don't know how you managed it, but..."

"Yeah, well, that's what you do for someone you-"

Jackson stops himself short of saying. "You, Love. That's what you were going to say, right?"

"Well yeah, I meant that in a... I mean-" Jackson stutters, not sure how to get himself out of this.

"It's just the two of us here. Are you going to lie to a dying man?"

"Don't say that," Jackson answers him, getting annoyed as he has been working day and night, and all Matthew has been talking about is his imminent death. "You know I am getting tired of hearing you say that. April and, the kids need you to fight!"

"Don't you think I know that?" Matthew keeps quiet after, looking up at the ceiling, tapping his fingers on his bedside. Jackson also keeps quiet. Afraid of what he will say, not wanting to upset his patient anymore. Aware that his state of mind is due to isolation from his loved ones. While in excruciating pain.

Matthew turns his head to him and says. "I know you still love, April, and as happy as we are, and as much as I love her, it sometimes feels like you two never got divorced..."

Jackson looks at him with his eyes wide open, as he had not seen that coming, and looks away. He thinks about the proof he found that proves that indeed she is still his wife.

"You don't have to feel bad about it, I know it's silly, but I often feel guilty, like I am with someone else's wife. "Matthew laughs, thinking it's silly, and Jackson tries to laugh too, but nothing comes out. He gives up. "It's why I got married to her so quickly. I thought it was only a matter of time before you... changed your mind again, but..."

"The truth is I am happy with April, and I love our kids, and having her come once in a while does help, but being here alone with my thoughts for some time, made me think of my first wife, and man, do I miss her, I miss her so much... especially now that I can hardly see April and the kids. Having only you for company is..."

"Most days I... So all I'm saying is I understand, maybe the problem is..."

Matthews trails off, having said it out loud, realizes how silly he sounds, and sees he has been too focused on the past. Filling himself with thoughts that make him think joining his late wife in heaven is easier than dealing with the pain and isolation he feels at present. Matthew realizes Jackson is right. He needs to fight for them, for Ruby.

Jackson feels awkward hearing this. Not sure if he should stop him, but also glad that Matthew is talking to him for once. Most days he says nothing, and when he does speak, it's nothing good. It's why Jackson arranged for April to help out. Matthew was starting to scare him with how depressed he seemed to be getting. And part of the formula that helps burn patients recover, especially mentally, is family presence.

Matthew shakes his head and decides to focus on the present instead and looks at Jackson deciding to fight. "For the sake of April and our children, I promise to fight with you until my last breath, and in return, you have to promise to take care of April and our children, especially Ruby. And that's if we don't win this."

"I Umh-"

"I know you will do it anyway. I heard about how you would not let April go when she kind of did die a couple of years ago. You pleaded to God for her sake and started believing in him. You wouldn't have done that unless you still loved her."

"I didn't want Harriet to grow up without her mom." Jackson tries to defend himself, not knowing why he feels the need to do it.

"Don't deny it. Don't you think I notice how you try hard not to look at her? When we are all in the same room, you look everywhere but at her. The way you run off, making sure not to stay longer than necessary. Are you afraid your face will give you away? You hardly even talk to April anymore unless it's about the kids. And if you can help it, you only go to our place when I am around, making every excuse you can find not to come when I'm not there."

Jackson clears his throat, uncomfortable with where this conversation is heading. "Well, our past makes it awkward, and anyway, I was there today-"

"And she was here." Matthew interrupts his excuses. "All I'm saying is I know what it's like not to be able to let go of your first wife, no matter how hard you try, no matter whom you love after. And if you can fight this hard to keep alive, the person that's standing in the way of what you want most..."

"Look..."

"Then I know you would do a good job taking care of my Ruby too, just make sure my family can see her."

Jackson stops himself from saying his next words confused by what Matthew just said.