The sound of the crickets

Yan Da and Ying Kong Shi had withdrawn after that eventful day. At first, their mood had been low, and they had barely exchanged a word on the way to Snow Fog Forrest. When they reached the bank of the ice lake, she suddenly smiled mischievously at him, a spark that lit up his heart. Under the starry night sky, he gently took her face between his hands and kissed her. The rest of the way to their tree they walked hand in hand. The couple unfolded a fur blanket, and they sat down under the huge cherry blossom tree. The full moon bathed everything in its silver light. Children had hung colorful ribbons in the now green trees around the clearing. The mist from the warm pools hung over the soft moss, and in the hedges the crickets played their soothing song. Yan Da reached for the basket they had brought with them and took out two delicate cups along with a bottle of ice wine. Ying Kong Shi accepted one of them with thanks. He watched happily, as she filled their cups. He couldn't remember that they had ever spent such a peaceful evening together. Even on earth… they could have shared times like that for two thousand years, and yet he hadn't allowed her to come as close as this. He sighed, and suppressed the too familiar feeling of loss. In silence they enjoyed the taste of the sweet alcohol and the scent of the many flowers that had formed all over the forest. Out of the corner of his eyes, Ying Kong Shi watched his beloved. He still couldn't quite get used to the circumstance that they finally had found a way to love each other, and that they didn't have to fight against each other anymore. Yan Da had shed her solemn robe and exchanged it for a simple red dress with a sleeveless coat. The ensemble was so unadorned that it looked extremely elegant in its own way. Ying Kong Shi had also shed his official robe and opted for simple white clothing. He concealed the warmth that her sight awakened in his heart, and instead chose a grumpy tone for his next words. "I'm not sure I want to talk to you about the day," he said. Yan Da showed him a cherry on her palm, and, grinning widely, put it in his mouth. "Better?" Sighing, the Ice Prince nodded and pulled her closer until her head rested on his shoulder.

"A few days ago we were worried if we would ever be publicly accepted as a couple. And now we are suddenly asked by our people to get married so that our bond can become a symbol of peace. And in the same breath, this symbol of peace is made conditional on you passing a royal aptitude test, which we can only hope will be fair. How could I ever have agreed to that?" Yan Da looked up at Ying Kong Shi. "You know that I couldn't refuse the test, especially not after Huang Tuo's words. See the test for what it is: a unique opportunity to prove myself as a leader that can be trusted. I'm sure that by taking this test I can win the hearts of the clans more than twenty good peace speeches could." A smile crept on Ying Kong Shi's face. "You are and always will be a fighter, aren't you? No matter how elegant and feminine you dressed yourself today, and how much you changed your hairstyle, inside you are steely and you don't shy away from anything." When he took the opportunity to run his fingers through her silky long hair, a defiant expression appeared on her face. "It almost sounds like you're complaining about my choice to be a female warrior. I was aware that you prefer the more decorative style of princesses like Lan Shang. Back then you treated her so gently, in a way you would never have treated me, and you even planned to marry her." Her eyes were round and big, and full of hurt. Ying Kong Shi hid a smile as he put down his wine bowl.

"You compare Lan Shang to yourself? And suppose I had a crush on her femininity? I think you still don't understand my motivations for my behavior back then. I had made a promise to the Predor Mermaid that I would make Lan Shang the Ice Queen. But since Ka Suo neither wanted the throne nor Lan Shang, I planned to take his place. I manipulated everyone in the palace in seeing me as a better candidate for the throne, so I could free him from both roles. Lan Shang was the only problem. Although I spent time with her and payed her attention, she loathed me and stayed loyal to Ka Suo. So I kept manipulating her and put her in the worst situations, as you know quite well. I did it all to save Ka Suo a life that he hated. It was fun being around her, nothing more." He turned his head and looked down in her beautiful two-colored eyes. "Do you still think that I felt something for Lan Shang? In none of my lives could I have been enthusiastic about such an effeminate, spoiled and selfish princess." Yan Da looked down on her hands. "Your words seem so smooth and convincing. Still, I'll never understand why you were so dismissive of me. You even insulted me and called me your enemy, despite my feelings for you. I know you hated the Fire Clan, you had every right to do so. But did it never come to your thoughts that you could have sweet-talked me on your side, so you could use me against my family?"

He let out an irritated breath. "You know as well as I do that in the past I was very convinced that my loyalty and all my love belonged inseparably to Ka Suo. You need to know that my whole existence and my childhood without magical power were a joke for the entire Ice Clan. I believed back then that I was worthless, an abomination. The only reason for me to live was my brother, who treated me as if I was precious. He would always put me first, and spent hours and days playing with me. Only with him was I carefree. To be honest, I can't remember a time when he wasn't the center of my love and care. When I got to know you, everything changed. It happened slowly, but you showed me that you were actually a good person despite being a member of the Fire Tribe. When I realized that I was even starting to like you, I was so worried. How should I be able to fight and protect you at the same time? And when you suddenly appeared repeatedly, I began to understand that you were sure that I liked you too. You didn't care about the danger you put yourself in, always risking to be caught by your brother or the members of the Ice Clan. But I did.

Why should I have encouraged you even more to turn against your family? I would never have used you so carelessly. To protect you, I thought it best to make it clear that I had no feelings for you. I hurt you on purpose to keep you from getting caught between the lines again. Nevertheless, you were always important to me. Besides Ka Suo, you were the only one I listened to and whose advice was important to me. I felt that I could trust you and that your love for me was real. Your unconditional love burned into my heart and stayed there, no matter what I did or who I became. It was my burden to intentionally have to hurt your feelings and discourage you for all times to no get you harmed. But my plan didn't work out well, did it? I failed to protect you from your father." He blinked several times and looked into the distance. Yan Da could clearly see the pain he tried to hide.

I won't let you fool me. She suppressed her pity for him and let the warrior and tactician in her take the lead. "Ying Kong Shi, thank you for trying to explain your actions again to me. Please forgive me if I tell you that I still don't believe a word you say. Your words refer to events that are not older than a few months. But you seem to have already processed everything. You even seem to be clear about your feelings for me. What's even more amazing is that you've made the decision to want me in your life. It's not that I want to complain. But compared to your previous reluctance towards me, I find that our relationship is currently developing very quickly. This is a behavior that would have been unthinkable for you just a few weeks ago. The crazy thing is that I don't doubt your love. But I doubt your honesty. Something is completely wrong with you, as much as I wish it were different."

He froze in surprise, his mouth slightly open. Why can't you let it go… When he remained silent, she sighed and got up on her feet. "Don't worry. I know you won't want to discuss this with me until after the peace negotiations. I didn't plan to stay long anyway. This test troubles me more than I want to admit. I am afraid that I won't pass it, and my dreams of becoming your wife will never become reality. I just wanted to be carefree once today." Proud and upright, she turned away from him and walked away, along the little path between the trees to the pools. He watched her stopping at one of the larger hot spring reservoirs and undoing her belt. What is she up to? She won't ...

As if spellbound, he couldn't look away as her clothes slipped off her white shoulders and her slender figure to her ancles. She didn't seem to care for his presence when she stepped, completely naked, into the warm, steaming water. Ying Kong Shi quickly got up and turned his back on her. His hands clenched into fists. He hated it when she made him so embarrassed. She had tried that before, uncountable years ago, back in the Fire Camp when he was still young, a mortal named Yun Fei. At that time it had seemed easy for him not to be seduced by her eroticism and beauty. But when he later started to dream of her, he had to admit that she nevertheless had gotten under his skin. Again and again his thoughts returned to that evening in the tent. He had only seen her body out of the corner of his eye, but the image was burned into his memories and he felt hot whenever he chose to look at it.

Angrily he whirled around and took quick steps to the pool. Without a word he undressed, too. His hands shook as he undid his belt. You won't win this fight again. Her initial triumphant expression faltered when he let his trousers slide down. Although his heart was pounding, he enjoyed seeing her blush dark red for the first time since they'd ever met. She couldn't hold his defiant gaze any longer as Ying Kong Shi stepped into the water. Yan Da tried to turn around, but Ying Kong Shi grabbed her wrist and prevented her from turning. "Look at me. Why are you provoking me by showing me your body when you shy away from the consequences? Do you think that you can forever treat me like an inexperienced boy who is intimidated by nakedness?" With his other hand, he lifted her chin and forced her to look into his eyes. "Look at you, my Fire Queen. You are really as shy as the most delicate girl." He whispered. He tightened his grip as she tensed against him. Yan Da's mind raced. She was too shocked by his boldness to come up with an exit strategy. "Do you know what it triggers in a young man when he is confronted with a beautiful and desirable woman like you? He may be able to control his thoughts during the day, but at night his imagination sends his body in flames. The younger the man, the more confusing it can be. When you caught me at that lake, Yan Da, I had just become a grown-up moments before," he whispered. Then he leaned forward, his body nearly touching hers. "Do you know how many times I've dreamed of you instead of worrying about an immature mermaid? Do you know how much Yun Fei's fondness of you stimulated the wildest of my dreams? And how Li Tian Jin's heat is still burning within me, which he could neither control nor explain to himself when you were close to him? Have you ever thought how much the feelings of a sword spirit tormented me, for whom love and hunger are one and the same? For an eternity I had to keep these feelings under closure."

He gently forced her palm on his bare chest, so she could feel his fast heartbeat. She forced down her timidity and looked up in his face. He was torn, a mess of feelings she was no longer able to follow. When Ying Kong Shi felt her resistance decrease, he wrapped his arm around her waist and slowly pulled her closer. As he lifted her out of the water, his gaze fixed on her breasts. They were so beautiful and alluring that he was fascinated. In the chaos of his emotions he wasn't able to feel ashamed anymore, as his long fingers cupped her breast, and caressed its dark pink center. He watched Yan Da as her eyes closed in ecstasy and let out a gasping sound between half-opened lips. He got closer to her, leaving kisses on her silky wet skin wherever it pleased him. Never had he felt such a sensation in all of his life. When she lifted her hands to touch his face and kiss him feverishly, he felt lust, happiness, joy. "Yan Da…" he whispered her name between their kisses. His member had long gone hard, when he made up his mind. He would have her. No matter what, this was the night he would make her his wife forever. His hand slowly slipped down her muscular belly and between her legs. It was the first time he touched a woman there, and it got his pulse racing. Panting, he caressed her and found a spot that seemed to increase her pleasure as she arched her back. Suddenly, in a flash of his mind, he saw his ancestor before him, who gave him a warning look. How can I do this to her? But I want this, we want this, we long for this… somehow these words seemed to echo from deep within, reflecting the needs of his former personalities. Slowly, he felt himself drown in an uprising madness.

"Ying Kong Shi," she gasped, and pushed his hands away. Her sudden resistance was like a cold shower. "You promised me that you would tell me everything you are hiding from me before we take this road." His eyes shone dangerously, one blue and one golden, suddenly robbed of his lust. When she faced his suddenly cold glare that was accompanied by a small ironic smile, Yan Da noticed how all her instincts went into alarm status.

He suddenly stepped back. "If you so desperately want to hear it, then I'll tell you what I keep from you." He tilted his head, suddenly all distant in his composure. "You think you know me, but I know you much better, for I've spent a lot more time with you than you know. I have caused you a thousand times more suffering than you suspect. I have used you for uncountable years that you have no memories of." He chose a smug tone for his next words. "Yan Da, in all times you were so reliable, you never refused any of my wishes. Whenever I asked for your help, you came. You stood up against your own family and your ancestors for me. You protected me, and twice, Yan Da, twice, you paid for it with your life."

His voice had grown louder, the last words he had shouted out. When she slowly perceived his words through the chaos in her head, Yan Da's eyes widened in discomfort. He stared back like a maniac. Tears left glittering traces on Ying Kong Shi's beautiful face. Yan Da wondered if the Ice Prince noticed them at all.

"I haven't told you once that I have feelings for you. Only when your body dissolved for the second time did I tell you, but it was already too late. In millions of years, I didn't give you anything, Yan Da. No word of affection, no happy times. My thoughts always revolved around my brother. And you? You were so disappointed, but you kept on hoping until the end. The truth is: I love you Yan Da! But I also hated loving you for a long time. Your unconditional love always showed me what a terrible manipulating monster I was, and how far I was able to bend and destroy everything that was good for my beloved brother." Yan Da felt frozen in horror and confusion. What is he talking about? When have I died? Why do I suddenly feel so scared of him?

"I am like a wormy apple. From the outside it may look delicious to you. But inside it's already eaten away. I kept my distance from you so that you wouldn't see how rotten I am. But it turns out that even a decaying person like me gets second chances, or, in your case, a third. I really want to change for you now. This," he lifted his arms and spread them wide, "is making me feel happy! I want to love and honor you. But how am I supposed to do that? But I can't overcome my guilt. I don't deserve you. Yan Da, I did not return to the ice world like a shining knight. My brother wished for me to start my own life. He told me clearly, that he refused to come back with me, for his love for Li Luo meant more to him than the love for his little brother. It broke my heart, it still does. When the energy stream didn't close, I simply stepped in, so Ka Suo would have the chance to live that last life with her. Now he's in that other world, and I'm here, and even that isn't my credit. Xian Xue brought me back. When I woke up back home I didn't even know you were still alive. I did contribute NOTHING to this fresh start!" Now he really yelled at her. When his energy finally left with his anger, his arms slowly sank to his side.

"You are so young and unburnt, Yan Da. You still believe in our love. But Xian Xue told me, that the Yan Da I knew refused a third life by my side. She saw the wormy apple and wanted to stay dead rather than coming back with me to this world, for fear that I would mistreat her again. It turned out that my cruelty and my distance to her broke her hope in the end, and even my adorable Fire Princess, who was capable of this most devoted love, finally gave up on me." His fisted hands now opened. All strength seemed to run out of him as he lowered his head. "I know that you won't forgive me, too. After all, you are one and the same person."

Yan Da felt a hot tear running down her cheek. She knew that he was trying everything to make her despise him. He wanted, even provoked her to get angry in using cruel words. And it worked. She still had no idea what exactly he was talking about, but his words struck her right in the heart, and she could barely suppress her disappointment. Suddenly she saw in a flashback how they were standing on the balcony in the Ice Palace. It was the day he had saved her from the fatal injuries her father had inflicted on her. Can you imagine forgiving me someday? Or at least let me try to make it up to you?" Determined, she straightened up. "Ying Kong Shi, you idiot. Do you really think you can outsmart me here? You may be the more brilliant thread puller of the two of us, but it is still my choice when to forgive whom and when not. And don't you dare compare me to some other version of me you think you know through and through! Even if you had lived a million years with another Yan Da, you still wouldn't know her well because of your crusade for Ka Suo."

Ying Kong Shi's eyelids fluttered, and it was like seeing him waking up from a bad dream. "Yan Da, I am sorry!" His tears didn't stop flowing, even when she decided to pull him in her arms. Again and again she stroked his head and tried to calm him down. It was only when she began to hum the flute melody that his brother had always played for him that his tears stopped. When she noticed that he was so ashamed that he couldn't even look her in the eye, she directed him to the edge of the pool. With one hand on his chest, and one hand in the sparkling water, she ordered him: "Relax." She let her golden magic dip into the water, and it began to smell sweet. Then she let her magic slide into him. Ying Kong Shi gasped, as she seemed to pierce his mind. When he finally understood what she was doing, he couldn't fight back. Her magic was like fingers searching for answers. When she had him under complete control, she looked at him, demanding. "Open up to me!" It wasn't a request. He let her in, and it hurt. She bonded with his spirit quite roughly, and went through a chaos of memories coupled with his feelings. Pictures of her in strange clothes passed by. Sometimes she was able to get a more detailed view. There, what was that? She felt his horror when she told him that she was not Yan Da. How many versions of me existed in his past?

She also saw how another Yan Da died in his arms in the clearing in Snow Fog Forrest, and how he suffered from her and Ka Suo's loss. He felt his hope and his despair as he sought her soul in the Limitless Space of that other Fire Kingdom. She watched him create a new body for her and witnessed how he remembered every detail of her beloved face with infinite patience, like an artist who is anxious to make a mistake in his work. She shared with him the constant fear that even his sacrifice would not be enough to get Ka Suo back. The deeper she dived into him, less feelings and memories swirled around. It grew darker around her until only one feeling remained: a longing for death to end his unwanted existence, for he was alone, not worthy of love. As she sat down next to him, in the darkness of his mind, she created a small sparkling ball explode on her hand. When he looked up, she smiled at him. "Look, you are not alone. Not even here, at the bottom of your mind." Then she came very close to his face, and let the bright light of the tiny fireworks fall on her two different eyes. "I am like you. I'm sorry you had to wait for me for so long, but now I'm here. And I want you to live. I haven't understood all of the mess in here, and why you remember a life with me that I have no knowledge of. But I guess it doesn't matter that a different version of me would rather stay dead than come back to you. That Yan Da had her own experiences and was responsible for her own decisions, just like you and me now. But if you decide that you would rather be dead, because you think there is nothing in this world to live for, you are wrong. Even if it weren't for me, this world would still be beautiful and worth of an Ice Prince's care and attention. Respect that you have a role to play, although you might not have chosen it on your own. But someone thought you to be worthy of this fresh start. Don't spoil other people's opinions of you by doubting that you deserve all of this. They believe in you, and not because they are less clever than you, but because they can see you in a good light. It is not their misjudgment of your character, but rather your inability to hold up the good in you, that keeps you from understanding your own worth. Respect that the universe made no mistake in creating you. The meaning of your life is not to be like Yuan Ji. Where he despised life and arbitrarily destroyed it, you will love and protect it by my side. Or do you think it's meaningless that you created the goddess of creation when you saved me?" She smiled at him, showing those distinctive dimples on her face that he loved so much.

"Have you never felt, that the wheel of destiny was always fond of us? It gave us repeatedly incarnations to find a way to be together. When the earliest versions of us started to work together, I believe that their first creation was not the Ice Fire Stone." "What was it then?" asked the Ice Prince who still sat lost on the dark ground. "Silly you… haven't you found out yet? It seems that billions of years have made you not wiser than me." She resolutely got up and reached out her hand. "It was the creation of love, of course!" A spark of life finally caught fire in his eyes as he grabbed her hand. With wonder in his eyes, Ying Kong Shi went back through his memories with her. When they finally stepped into the light, he didn't look back.

The Ice Prince opened his eyes, and stared straight into her face. Yan Da's hand was still on his chest. Her water charm had kept him warm all along. She gave him that big smile again. He found no words as she led his still slightly shaking figure to the edge of the pool and carefully helped him to get dressed. When they went back to the castle together, he didn't dare let go of her hand, as if he just started to learn to walk on different feet into a different life.

It wouldn't work that way. The assassin flipped through the magical records again and again after, which she had obtained by spying on Xing Gui. Even if the contents of some scenes could surely be used against the Fire Queen, they were still only pictures. When Xing Gui had cried several times while looking at the memories of that despicable woman, the assassin had finally come to understand: They weren't just copies of memories, like a dream. Instead, Xing Gui had managed to record the feelings of Yan Da as well. And those were anything but hopeful and positive. The memories had seemed chaotic, but what Hye Qian put together was a truly painful story that ended with the death of Yan Da. "I need the cube myself to destroy her. This will be the real poison", muttered the assassin. And she already knew exactly how to get hold of the artifact.