"Rose, angel, there you are!" exclaimed Ivy. They had found her at last seated on a nearby park bench, looking up at the moon. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine, Mother," she said, smiling at her.
"Rose, I'm sorry for what happened back there," said Two-Face. "We should have told you the truth a long time ago…"
"I understand why you didn't," she murmured. "You taught me to be good and kind. That would have been difficult behavior to reconcile with your criminal lifestyle without appearing hypocritical."
"Oh, baby, it's not that," said Ivy, kneeling down next to her. "You are good and kind. And we didn't want to tell you anything that would ruin that. But the truth is, the world isn't always a beautiful place, petal. And to exist for any length of time in it, you have to be strong, which sometimes means being less good and kind. I've seen so many delicate flowers crushed before their time, and I didn't want that to happen to you. I thought we could protect you from the truth. But I was wrong to conceal it from you. Can you forgive me?"
"Of course I can," said Rose, smiling at her. "It's very easy to forgive those we love, especially when you were just trying to protect me."
"I understand that you might be confused, and this has obviously changed your relationship with us..." began Two-Face.
"Oh, Father, don't be silly," interrupted Rose, gently. "I don't think you're bad people. It's just very difficult to reconcile you with the image I have of criminals. Perhaps my image is wrong. But it does involve changing my entire worldview, and many of my previous judgments, which is kinda a big thing, even if I haven't lived very long in the scheme of things," she added, smiling.
"One thing you've always known is how much we love you," said Ivy. "And that's never going to change."
"It's never going to change for me either," said Rose, hugging her and her father. "But I am still troubled by our encounter with the Batman," she added.
"Don't worry – J said he's working on a revenge scheme as we speak," said Two-Face.
"No, I don't want revenge," said Rose, shaking her head. "I want to help him."
"I really don't think that's possible, flower…" began Ivy.
"We have to try," said Rose. "If it's not possible for him to change at Christmas, then I agree he never will. But we have to try and see. Before I thought he was just a desperately unhappy man taking his anger out on innocent people. But now I see it's even worse than that – he's a desperately unhappy man taking his anger out on people he thinks deserve it. That's a different mindset, a different kind of fanaticism where one is judge, jury, and executioner. It shows a complete lack of forgiveness and charity, which is what Christmas is all about. The least we can do is be charitable to him, and show him that we can be the better people."
"Baby, I think you're still being a little naïve…" began Ivy.
"Maybe," agreed Rose. "But if I am, I have a couple families of criminals to save me from harm. I just think it's right, Mother, and if you love me, you'll let me try to help him. Won't you?"
Ivy kissed her forehead. "Of course I will," she said. "But we'd better tell J that the revenge thing is out. He'll be annoyed, but I love annoying him, so that's an added bonus to helping you."
They returned to the Joker's hideout. "Ah, come crawling back, have you?" asked J.J., smiling at Rose. "Dad said you would."
"Um…I suppose so, yes," agreed Rose. "I'm very pleased to see you again, J.J.," she added with a smile.
"Of course you are," said J.J., nodding. "You've probably never seen anyone as attractive as me before. Every moment without me must have been agony for you. Your life must be so empty and meaningless without me in it, poor pathetic girl that you are."
"What the hell is wrong with you?" demanded Ivy, glaring at him as Rose just stared at him, taken aback.
"He's been talking to his Daddy about how to talk to women," sighed Harley, entering the room. "And it's true – my baby is quite the catch, just like his Daddy."
"Ok, well, you're stopping that right now," snapped Ivy. "If you want someone to teach you how to talk to women, I'll do it. The secret is that you treat them how you'd like to be treated, isn't that mind-blowing?" she asked, sarcastically.
"No, that can't be right, Aunt Ivy," said J.J., frowning. "That's far too simple, and we've had hundreds of years of popular culture telling us the opposite. Besides, Dad knows what he's talking about – Mom is crazy about him, and has been our whole lives, so his method has gotta work, and work good."
"It works with your mother, because she's psychotic," retorted Ivy. "Rose isn't. Even if she does have strange ideas about helping Batman."
"I just think we need to give him a chance to change his ways," said Rose. "If he can't change at Christmas, then he can't change at all. But there's no harm in trying to help Batman."
"What's this about frying Batman?" asked Joker, emerging from his study with a smile on his face, followed by Arleen. "That's not the plan, but we might be able to add a little something to it – maybe electrocution by Christmas tree lights if that's your thing. It'll be in keeping with the seasonal theme of the scheme I've entitled 'And Man Will Laugh Forevermore Because of Mr. J.'"
"No, Uncle Joker, please, we can't hurt him," said Rose. "I'd like to try to help him change."
Joker burst out laughing. "Good one, kiddo!" he chuckled. "Geez, I don't know which of your parents you got your sense of humor from, since they're both painfully unfunny, but that's a fantastic joke! Oh…you were serious," he added, noticing her face. "Let me laugh harder…"
"Don't mock my daughter," growled Two-Face. "If she wants to try to help Batman, then that's what we're gonna do."
"Look, Harvey, I get you want to support your kid," said Joker. "But this is crazy talk, and that's coming from me, so you know how crazy it's gotta be. The Bat can't change, any more than any of us can change."
"I believe you can," said Rose. "If you try. For example, changing your revenge scheme into something less deadly and more helpful to Batman. I would like to extend sympathy and compassion to him..."
"No way – he killed my baby!" snapped Arleen. "I demand blood!"
"That's right, princess," agreed Joker. "Killing one of my family line demands a blood oath that must be paid. Them's the rules, I'm afraid."
"But Christmas is a time for forgiveness, not blood oaths," said Rose.
"That's right, otherwise I'd murder all of you for killing my babies for Christmas trees and decorations every year," agreed Ivy. "But I don't do that at Christmas – I relax and kill other people who cut down my babies. If I can be forgiving, why can't you?"
"Because I'm not a sucker who forgives people," retorted Joker. He thought for a moment. "Although…it might be a good joke…a way to try to change him and torment him at the same time. In fact, it's a tried and tested seasonal formula."
"What is?" asked Arleen.
"Well, traditionally the reason people change at Christmas is because they get the crap scared outta them," said Joker. "Look at A Christmas Carol, or It's a Wonderful Life, or Die Hard, holiday staples that teach us that people will only change when they come face to face with their own mortality. I guess near death experiences do have that effect – they never have on me, of course, and they clearly don't on Batsy. But scaring him straight might be worth a laugh, and it could be more fun that just the standard death trap."
"But nothing scares Batman," pointed out Ivy.
"Oh, things can," said Joker, shrugging. "Me without pants, probably, because he'd be so threatened in his manhood by what's on display…but this is a scheme involving children, so it'll have to be something else."
"We could ask Uncle Jonathan," suggested Arleen. "He knows fear. He probably knows what scares Batman."
"Oh, I know what scares Batman, sweets," said Joker. "I know him better than anyone, and there's really only one thing he fears in his deepest, darkest nightmares."
"Death?" guessed Arleen.
"No, he's not afraid of death, or he wouldn't voluntarily go out risking his life every night for no reason," replied Joker. "It's something much worse than death for him - the possibility that he might be wrong."