Michael in Arizona: English is complicated. Yeah, like the marauders! Yeah some movie portrayals were cool. Ugh seriously… thank you so much for your review!
loveemmawatsonandhermione: Thanks.
Addie Whitcher: Well, coming from a huge Ginny fan and Draco hater, thanks. And omigosh I am so so sorry I just realised I'd been spelling your username wrong…
{The Weasleys and Harry are walking through the station}
"Oh, it's not even gonna show us getting to the station?" Harry wondered.
"Guess that's not important enough," Ron mumbled.
"How did you get there then?" Hugo asked.
"We took the car," Percy explained. "Remember, the one your Dad and Fred and George rescued Harry in?"
"But how did you all fit in?" Tonks asked.
"Oh, er…" Mr Weasley looked guiltily at Harry.
"You didn't do an extension charm, did you Dad?" Fred asked.
"Gosh I hope you didn't, Mum wouldn't appreciate that," George added.
"Arthur…" Mrs Weasley looked at her husband, who was sinking behind his popcorn. "DID YOU SERIOUSLY USE AN EXTENSION CHARM ON THE ALREADY ENCHANTED MUGGLE CAR?"
"Uhhh…" Mr Weasley quickly played the movie again.
Mr Weasley: 10:58, come on, come on.
"I kind of wish it did show us going, it was really funny," Harry laughed. "Or I found it quite funny."
"What was so funny about it?" James junior asked.
"So firstly George forgot his box of Filibuster, then Fred forgot his broom, then Ginny forgot her diary…" Harry laughed.
"This is exaggerating how late we were," Ron said. "We arrived at quarter to eleven, not ten fifty-eight."
Mrs Weasley: The train'll be leaving any moment!
"Yeah, but by the time we started going through the barrier it was five to eleven," Harry muttered. "But you're right, it is exaggerating how late we were… they could have at least shown why."
Mr Weasley: Fred, George, Percy, you first.
"Wait…" Mrs Weasley looked at her family. "Percy went first, then Arthur, then Fred and George went after him…"
"It's not like they can put the effort in to getting it right," Ron mumbled.
"Plus, we apparently arrived two minutes before the train leaves," Harry laughed.
{Fred, Percy and George go through the barrier}
"Wrong order, but whatever," Fred rolled his eyes.
"I couldn't care less," George muttered.
Mrs Weasley {pats Ginny on the back}: OK.
{Ginny goes through}
"Why is Ginny going through now? She went with you, Molly dear, right?" Arthur asked his wife.
"Yes, she did, and you went before the twins, we went after them," Molly replied.
{Mr and Mrs Weasley head towards the barrier}
"Dad came out," George said.
"After us," Fred said.
"Did."
"You."
"Just."
"Finish."
"My."
"Sentence?"
"YES!" The twins cried together.
"Old times back!" Fred laughed. "Gosh, bro it feels like I haven't seen you for like 20 years!"
"Y-you haven't," George said softly.
"Yeah, you seem a lot older… did the explosion thing kill me?" Fred asked.
"Yeah," George's voice actually sounded sensible for once.
"Wow, I came back to life!" Fred cried. "Yay, let's watch this movie thing."
Mr Weasley: After you, dear.
"OK, I didn't go last before Harry and Ron," Arthur grumbled, eyeing Fred with confusion. "I went straight after Percy, so I went second out of everyone."
{They come out at platform nine and three quarters and walk towards Ginny}
"Oh now we walk to Ginny, she went through the platform on her own apparently," Molly muttered.
"I went through the platform on my own in my first year," Ron said.
"Oh, well Ginny's the youngest," Molly said, shaking her head.
Mrs Weasley: Come on, Ginny. We'll get you a seat. Hurry.
"Hey but why is it showing us if this thing is meant to be through Harry's point of view?" Ginny asked.
"But did that happen?" Hermione asked her.
"You expect me to remember?" Ginny asked back.
{Back on the other side}
Harry: Let's go.
"I didn't say let's go," Harry muttered. "Ron said let's go together, we only have a minute."
"If only Ron had gone before you, Harry," Hermione said. "Then there wouldn't have been the stupid idea you had to steal Arthur's car, and then Mr and Mrs Weasley would've come to Harry and all would've been fine."
"How would I of gotten to Hogwarts, though?" Harry asked.
"One of them could've sent a letter to Hogwarts, or told you to," she explained. "Then we would see you in the common room that night. You might have even got apparated there by Dumbledore himself."
"Dealing with my first apparition at almost sixteen is a push, but at twelve?" Harry motioned vomiting. "I don't think so."
{They run to the barrier, then crash straight into it. A guard comes over to them as they stand up.}
"Did that hurt, Dad? Are you OK, Uncle Ron?" Lily's eyes were wide with horror. "I hope that doesn't happen to me…"
"It won't Lily," said Harry. "It only happens if some house elf is trying to save your life."
Guard: Oi! What do you think you're doing?
"He said what in the blazes d'you think you're doing," Ron corrected.
"Thank you," said the guard. "I could have said that meself, because it's honestly the only part of my life that I can remember. Now I know you lads were running at that wall because you wanted to go to your magic school thing… warthog or whatever it's called."
"Hogwarts," Hermione muttered, rolling her eyes.
Harry: Sorry. Lost… lost control of the trolley.
"I just said lost control of the trolley," said Harry.
"Well that was a lie," said the guard. "You were trying to get through to see your magic stuff."
"Er, yeah," said Ron.
{Guard shakes his head and leaves}
"And now we die of embarrassment while my noisy owl makes such a scene," Harry said, shaking his head. For that, there was a loud screech, and Harry smiled. "I'm not mad at you, Hedwig…" Hedwig screeched again.
Harry: Why can't we get through?
"Er, because Dobby doesn't like Harry and doesn't let him go to Hogwarts," Ron muttered.
"Ron!" Hermione hissed. "Dobby was trying to save Harry's life!"
"Everything turned out OK for Harry Potter," Dobby said happily.
"Except for seeing countless people die, the first one when I was fourteen years old," Harry muttered, shuddering.
"No, you saw your mother die, Haaarrrrryyy," Voldemort said, grinning. "When you were a baby."
"Yeah, but I can't remember that," Harry said sadly, resuming the movie.
Ron {touches the barrier}: I dunno. The gateway's sealed itself for some reason.
"Well, actually after saying I dunno, I said that we're gonna miss the train, and that I didn't know why it'd sealed itself," Ron said. "The movie got it all wrong."
{Harry hits the wall and the clock chimes.}
"What about me pushing my trolley against the barrier… I did that a little before the clock got to eleven," Harry said.
"That's not important enough," said Ginny.
"Yep, I was so bad, they had to save five seconds," Harry muttered.
Harry: The train leaves at exactly eleven o'clock. We've missed it!
"Well, I actually said it was gone, and that the train had left…" Ron said. "But I suppose it's all about Harry Potter, no one cares about Ron."
"Sounds about right," Harry joked.
Ron: Harry. If we can't get through, maybe Mum and Dad can't get back.
"I said what if they couldn't get back," Ron said. "It was basically the same sentence as what I had been saying before."
Harry: Maybe we should just go and wait by the car.
"Ugh, that skipped about the muggle money, and me saying how some certain Dursleys hadn't given me pocket money for six years straight," Harry mentioned.
"Which Dursleys are you talking about?" Dudley said, his voice low.
"It also skipped me trying to hear the other side," Ron muttered.
"So, if Harry suggested waiting by the car, don't tell me it gave Ron the idea…" Hermione quickly played the movie again.
Ron: The car?
"I said Harry! The car!" Ron said.
Hermione buried her face in her hands. "Of course it has to be Ron who comes up with these completely stupid ideas!"
"Hey, but we got to Hogwarts… we didn't miss out on our very important education," said Ron.
"You could have died!" Hermione cried.
"We didn't. And we didn't get expelled, either," Ron grinned.
"You're still an idiot," she grumbled.
"You still love me?"
"Fine."
{The car comes floating up and starts moving. A muggle looks out his car and sees it.}
"Um, that skipped a lot," Harry said. "And why are we flying up without the invisibility booster? Are we stupid or something?"
"Probably," Ron said.
"Uh, definitely," Hermione and Ginny said at the same time, then burst out laughing.
Harry: Ron, I should tell you. Most Muggles aren't accustomed to seeing a flying car.
"Oh, I see…" Ron grumbled. "Ron's the stupid one and Harry has to tell him to make the car invisible. Of course."
"OK, you may come up with stupid ideas, Ron, like flying a car to Hogwarts, but you're actually really smart," said Hermione.
Ron: Uh, right.
"My voice seriously sounded so dumb just then," Ron complained.
"It's because there's no Peeves, so they're making you the comic relief," Harry muttered.
"I don't want to be the comic relief! I want to be a character! A proper one!" Ron groaned.
"In real life is all that matters," Hermione said. "This stuff… it's just weird."
{Ron presses button, then the car turns invisible.}
"At least we turned it invisible at all, even if it was after we'd set off," said Ron.
{Later, the car is flying over fields and becomes visible. Harry looks out the window and Ron tries pressing the button.}
Ron: Oh no. The Invisibility Booster must be faulty.
"It got faulty while we were still in the city, it seems we're already in the fields," Harry mentioned.
"Yeah, we'd already found the train by the time we were in the fields," Ron added.
Harry: Well come on, then. Let's go lower. We need to find the train.
"OK, but we stayed in the clouds, and we dipped down quickly, and that's what I said," Harry muttered.
"What's the bet we're just gonna stay down and let everyone see us…" Ron said.
Ron {nodding}: OK.
"I didn't say that, I just drove," Ron muttered. "Ah well… save five seconds, then add five seconds?"
{They go lower to some train tracks}
"Wow, we didn't go that low…" Harry said. "We went down a bit, and I saw the train from a distance, pretty quickly…"
"I dunno what's going on," Ron shook his head.
Harry: Now all we have to do is catch up with the train.
"I don't remember this," said Harry. "I should've seen the train by now…"
"Take away something, add something on…" Ron mumbled.
Ron: We can't be that far behind.
"We weren't! I literally saw it straight away!" Harry said.
{Train noises}
"Wait a minute…" said Ron. "Oh I see what's happening…"
Harry: Do you hear that?
"Oh…" Harry started to understand now too. "But it was so uneventful that drive.."
Ron: We must be getting close.
"Oh, crap," said Ginny. "I think… yeah, it's gonna…"
{A loud choo choo}
"Ugh, so much for an uneventful trip…" Ron muttered.
"It really was boring," Harry added.
Harry: Hold on…
"Hold on, yeah… maybe the train will crash into you guys," said Hermione.
"We can't die, there's still however many movies left," Ron explained.
{Harry looks over at Ron, who looks back, scared.}
"They've figured it out…" Harry said. "We figured it out a lot faster, so proof we're smarter than these baboons."
{Hedwig looks back and the train is rushing towards them.}
Laughter burst through the room.
"I kind of wish this happened," Harry said. "It would've been less hot, less boring.
Harry and Ron: Aaaahhhhh!
"What idiots," Hermione muttered.
"Yeah, what sort of idiots would fly down to the train track, and literally drive on a train track?" Ron muttered back.
"Those kids there," said Harry.
{They turn away, tumble and turn until the door opens and Harry falls, holding onto the door}
"This is the end!" Fred cried.
"The end of Harry Potter!" George added.
"He'll fall to his doom," Fred said.
"And DIE!" George added.
"You know, what if they got lazy and decided to end it here by killing me off?" Harry laughed.
"Doubt that'll happen," Ron said. "There's still all the rest of the movies."
Ron: Harry! Hold on! Take my hand!
"Gosh, I probably would've used magic to get Harry up," Ron laughed.
"Then you would've been expelled," Hermione told him.
{Harry grabs Ron's hand but slips.}
"I'm gonna die!" Harry cried melodramatically.
"YOU'RE NOT GONNA DIE!" Ron cried back.
Ron: Hold on!
"Yeah Harry, hold on," Fred said.
"Jeez Harry!" George added.
"You think I can do anything about that?" Harry asked.
Harry: I'm trying! Your hand's all sweaty!
"That's probably making up for us being above the clouds and literally sweating to death up there," Ron said. "My hand would've been all sweaty."
{They manage to grab hands and Ron brings Harry up into the car. They're both panting.}
"Although that didn't happen, I kind of liked watching that, it was much more entertaining than what actually happened," Harry said thoughtfully.
"Yeah, I'm gonna give that scene a 9 out of 10 for enjoyment, only taking a point off for not happening in real life," Ron added.
Harry: I think we found the train.
"You think?" Ginny laughed. "Really, I don't think they found the train… that thing that almost crashed into them was some pole thing, probably."
"Yeah, I don't think we found the train," Harry laughed back.
Ron: Yeah.
"Really? I really, really don't think Harry was right then," Ron said.
{They fly away then we see them driving up to Hogwarts.}
"We just teleported to Hogwarts!" Harry cried.
"Well, most of the trip flew by… haha, flew by," Ron laughed. "But the car doesn't even seem to be rattling here."
Ron: Welcome home.
"Oh my god…" Harry cringed. "Why does this movie keep going on about me being home at Hogwarts? Yes, I definitely consider it more of a home than at the Dursleys', but honestly."
"Plus, you were the first to speak when we flew down and you saw it, you just cried out that you'd seen it," Ron explained.
{Harry smiles, then the car rattles. They go zooming down.}
"Oh, it didn't show us going over the lake," said Harry.
"Or me encouraging the car…" Ron added.
"The car didn't listen to you much," Harry replied.
Harry: UP! UP!
"Can't that dude tell that the engine had died?" Ron cried.
"I could tell, that's why I didn't say that," Harry said.
Ron: It's not working!
"Added lines," Ron muttered.
"They gotta make up for the things they don't have!" Ginny laughed.
{Harry tries to help Ron with the handle as they both scream. They are heading towards a tree}
"OH MY GOSH!" Hermione screamed.
"See what we had to deal with, Hermione?" Ron said. "See the troubles we face without you?"
"Are you saying you need me?" Hermione said, raising her eyebrows.
"No!" Ron cried.
Harry: Mind that tree!
"Ah, the dear Whomping Willow…" said Lupin. "My best friend."
"Yeah, totalllyyyy your best friend," Sirius responded.
Ron {hitting his wand on the steering wheel}: Stop! Stop! Stop!
"OK, so I said stop twice, and before Harry said to mind the tree, and I whacked the dashboard and the windscreen with my hand…" Ron told everyone.
{The wand snaps}
"My poor wand…" Ron fake-sobbed. "Although that's not how it broke…"
{They crash into the whomping willow, then fall down the tree. They stop and Ron looks at his wand.}
"Argh nooooo…" Harry moaned. "But didn't you groan?"
"Yeah, I did, because my wand had snapped!" Ron moaned. "My poor wand!"
Ron: My wand! Look at my wand!
"Wow, that must've been tough on your family, Weasley," Draco drawled coldly. "You probably starved when your parents had to buy you a new wand."
Ron's ears went pink.
"I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!" Ginny snarled.
"Baby Weasley, what was it like starving?" Draco laughed.
"Don't you speak to my mum like that!" Albus screamed.
"You're lucky your mummy married famous Potter," Draco sneered.
"Shut up!" Albus yelled.
"Albus, don't tell my dad to shut up," Scorpius yelled, "but Dad, seriously!"
"You taking the Weasley's side, Scorpius?" Draco asked.
"Please, stop…"
"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Boomed the voice, echoing throughout the theatre. "JUST. SHUT. UP."
Everyone fell silent and quickly resumed the movie.
Harry: Be thankful it's not your neck.
"OK, but I didn't say that," Harry said. "Yes, agreed there, but I did not say that."
{something hits the car}
"Here we go… whomping willow attacks car time…" Ron said.
"The car seriously got that beaten up?" Arthur said faintly.
Ron: What's happening?
"Woah… that dude hit some note," Rose laughed.
"I did not speak that weirdly, and I didn't get to finish speaking before I saw that the tree was attacking us," said Ron.
Harry: I don't know.
"Didn't say that…" Harry said. "Ron said we should make a run for it…"
{A branch hits the car and the boys scream. The whomping willow is beating up the car, then they fall out of the tree.}
"Wait… we didn't fall out of the tree," Ron said. "The engine started again and we were able to reverse out of the tree, but I dunno what's going on here…"
"And you said we were done for before that happened," Harry added.
Harry: Come on! Go! Fast!
"I said to reverse!" Harry corrected. "What the hell?"
"Looks like we're gonna die here, to be honest," Ron muttered.
{They drive away as the whomping willow collapses down, then rises up again.}
"That seriously was close…" Ron said.
"Aren't you gonna say well done to the car, like you actually did?" Harry asked.
{Harry and Ron look at each other before the doors of the car open and they are kicked out}
All the kids in the room laughed.
"Did that actually happen?" Rose asked.
"Yeah, it just ejected us out of our seats… really was mad, that car," Harry laughed.
"It's a car!" Vernon snarled. "It doesn't have feelings."
"Oh, yeah, sorry, forgot they didn't have feelings and that they also can't fly," Harry said sarcastically.
"This is all just movie trickery," Dudley said.
{Then their trunks come flying out, then Hedwig and Scabbers. Harry catches Hedwig and Ron catches Scabbers and checks on him.}
"I didn't catch Hedwig…" Harry said. "The door of the cage opened and she just took off."
"What can you expect?" Hermione said. "Owls don't exactly like being kept in a cage of a car that got attacked by some maniac tree."
Ron: Scabbers! You're OK!
"And I didn't catch Scabbers," said Ron. "I picked him up off the ground after the car drove away, which doesn't seem like it's going to happen…"
{The car doors close and it starts moving}
"You sure about that one?" Harry asked.
"The car… it's so bashed and… oh the car!" Arthur looked at the screen in despair.
Ron: The car!
"I yelled out for it to come back!" Ron corrected.
"The poor car!" Arthur cried.
{They drop their things, then chase after the car. It goes into the Forbidden Forest}
"We didn't chase it… we obviously weren't gonna catch up with it," said Ron.
"Our useless attempt here was seriously just sad," Harry laughed.
"The car!" Arthur was close to tears now.
Ron: Dad's gonna kill me.
"Ron, I've finally decided on your punishment for that," Arthur said firmly.
"Seriously Dad? This was when I was twelve years old!" Ron cried.
"You have to buy me the coolest muggle car out there, once we're done watching these movies."
"Seriously?"
{Harry and Ron rush up the stairs of Hogwarts castle}
"Oh, aren't we going to see the sorting through the window?" Ron asked.
"And we got found by Snape before we went inside the castle," Harry added.
Harry: See ya, Hedwig. A house elf shows up in my bedroom, we can't get through the barrier to Platform Nine and Three Quarters, we almost get killed by a tree... clearly someone doesn't want me here this year.
"I didn't say that," said Harry. "Maybe Snape's just gonna randomly be standing somewhere… I mean he was randomly standing outside the school."
"It would make sense," said Ron, "he always does turn up in the most random places and random times…"
"Snape does sound very random…" Snape said in his cold voice.
{They see Filch}
"Are you serious?" Ron said.
"We saw Snape, why are we seeing Filch?" Harry asked.
Filch: Well, take a good look, lads... This night might well be the last you spend in this castle.
"WRONG!" Ron yelled. "Not our last night, not what was said, the wrong person confronting us, gosh just everything is wrong!"
"BOOOOO!" Harry called out.
{Harry and Ron look scared.}
"We should be following Snape to the dungeons by now," said Ron.
Filch: Oh dear, we are in trouble.
Harry laughed. "That's a good line though, even if he didn't say that…"
"Even if Filch wasn't even there…" Ron added.
{In the potions room, Snape holds up the Evening Prophet}
"Wait, why is he holding up the paper already?" Harry asked.
"Yeah, he said that we wanted to arrive with a bang, and that apparently the train wasn't good enough for us," said Ron.
"And, as you have seen now, sir, the barrier had sealed itself on us," Harry said.
Snape: You were seen! By no less then seven Muggles.
"Well, about six or seven," Ron said. "Snape read out the prophet…"
"Doesn't matter, Weasley!"
Snape: Do you have any idea how serious this is? You have risked the exposure of our world. Not to mention the damage you inflicted on a Whomping Willow that has been on these grounds since before you were born.
"OK, but that monologue was very wrong…" Harry said.
"Yeah, Snape had said about how my dad works in the misuse of muggle artefact office, and that his own son had…" Ron gulped.
"Yeah, Snape said about the Whomping willow after a bit. He said he'd noticed considerable damage had been done to a very valuable Whomping Willow."
"IT IS VALUABLE!" Snape yelled coldly.
"I didn't know that at the time," Harry said quickly.
Ron: Honestly, Professor Snape, I think it did more damage to us.
"OK, that line was pretty wrong, though," Ron said. "5/10 for that one."
Snape: Silence! I assure you {Snape creeps around the table} were you in Slytherin and your fate rested with me, the both of you would be on the train home tonight. As it is —
"I say unfortunately I did not have the power to expel them," Snape droned. "And then I went to fetch the people who did."
"That actor is totally sick, though!" Ron cried.
"He plays Snape better than Snape!" Harry added, earning a cold glare from the real Snape.
Dumbledore: They are not.
"Why is Dumbledore here?" Ron asked. "Only Professor McGonagall came!"
{They turn around to see Dumbledore and McGonagall}
"Well she's here as well… I suppose Dumbledore's just going to listen to what we have to say…" Harry said, quite confused. "Wait, I just remembered… he came in later."
"Oh, that's right," said Ron.
Harry: Professor Dumbledore. Professor McGonagall.
"Harry actually dared to speak?" Ginny cried.
"Nope, I just sat down after McGonagall told us to…" Harry laughed.
Snape: Headmaster, these boys have flouted the Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardry. As such...
"Huh? Snape didn't say that," Ron mentioned. "We had to explain to McGonagall, then Dumbledore came and we had to explain to him… Snape never said that!"
"Added lines for the taken lines," Harry muttered.
"He said about flouting the decree of blah blah blah after Dumbledore said we weren't getting expelled," Ron said.
Dumbledore: I'm well aware of our bylaws, Severus, having written quite a few of them myself. However, as Head of Gryffindor House, it is for Professor McGonagall to determine the appropriate action.
"I didn't say I'd written a few of them myself," said Dumbledore. "I just said it was up to Professor McGonagall."
"And you said that after Snape wanted us expelled and you said we weren't going to be expelled," Harry said.
"That is right, Harry."
Ron: We'll go and get our stuff then.
"I did say that, well without the 'then' on the end, but before that short kind of wrong dialogue of Snape and Dumbledore," said Ron.
McGonagall: What are you talking about, Mr. Weasley?
"She said that so calmly, she literally actually just barked it out to us," Harry laughed.
Ron: You're going to expel us, aren't you?
"I said well before that, actually," said Ron. "But close enough to what was right."
McGonagall: Not today, Mr. Weasley. But I must impress on both of you the seriousness of what you have done. I will be writing to your families tonight.
"Dumbledore said all of that," said Harry. "And after saying that, he said that if we ever did it again, he'd have to expel us."
"We got pretty lucky there, though… oh except for the howler from Mum…" Ron said.
"And we were lucky that we'd survived the whomping willow!" Harry added.
"That too."
McGonagall: And you will both receive detention.
"Hang on… that skipped so much!" Harry cried. "Dumbledore and Snape went up to the feast so Dumbledore could try some custard tart, and then we found out Ginny was in Gryffindor, McGonagall didn't take any points, and then she said we'd get detention."
"Tiiiiimmmmeee coooonstraaaaiiiiinnntsss," Ginny said in a sing-song voice.
"Yeah, whatever," said Harry.
Whomping willow chapter, done and dusted! Next is Gilderoy Lockhart, and it's full of… ugh, that annoying dude Gilderoy Lockhart who literally RUINED the chamber of secrets…