Inspiration: Helluva Boss Pilot
Chapter 11
"Ok everyone, we are now on the final spooky month viewing. And I must say, it's one I've been looking forward to this one for a while." BJ said, excitement clear in his voice. Though, weirdly enough, his expression turned to that of slight worry. "However, before we start, I feel that we need some new arrivals for this specific one."
"Already? But didn't you just add Melissa, Mandalay, and Kota not too long ago?" Mina asked curiously.
"Yeah well, I thought I may as well add these two now. Though I may remove a few of you in the future in case this place starts to get crowded." BJ stated, not wanting too many people in his theater at once.
It's already tough dealing with the amount he has at the moment. So adding too many was a no go.
"Now, these may be... unethical choices, but I ask that you all remain calm. Ok?" He asked, getting a confused, but generally accepting nod from the group. Afterall, how bad can these two people be? "Alright, you two can come out now."
From the side came out two people none of them thought they'd see there of all places. The wielder of devastating blue flames, Dabi, and the knife twirling vampiric yandere, Himiko Toga.
"Hello!" Toga cutely said, Dabi just standing there trying to look cool, despite kind of being the opposite. Almost everyone leapt from their seats at this, taken aback by the sight of these villains.
"What the hell are they doing here." Aizawa pointed an especially fearsome glare towards BJ.
BJ just shrugged. "I just thought it would be interesting to add some villains to this. Besides, they get the rules. They're not gonna try anything. Not like they can anyway."
Toga was bouncing on the heels of her feet in excitement. "Yeah! We're just excited to see different versions of Izu-kun!" Her blush got more intense, if that's even possible, as she fantasized about the possible versions she'll get to see.
"She is. I'm just here because that jackass brought me along." Dabi pointed his thumb over at BJ, who flipped him off.
"Wait, if you just brought them to make things interesting, why didn't you also bring Shigaraki? Isn't he their boss?" Kaminari asked, to which many gave him an intense look, as if to tell him to not give BJ any more ideas.
"Oh him? That guy is so unhinged that he would try and kill everyone here, even though it is literally impossible with me here. So, rather than deal with that, I just decided to leave him out for now." BJ stated, proud of his easily hidden lie. In truth, he was just too lazy to bring in an extra person.
Everyone was frankly relieved to hear that. From what they know about Shigaraki, he would most certainly not be a decent person to be around for this, capable of killing them or not. Though to be fair, the same could be said for these two as well.
Some, like Uraraka and Todoroki, were still very concerned to be around these two villains in particular. Uraraka, due to her previous encounter with Toga in which she attempted to kill her Tsuyu, all while talking about how cute they were and how they should be friends. And Todoroki because... he wasn't quite sure honestly. He just always got this strange feeling whenever he thought about Dabi. One of sadness, regret, and... familiarity. Though he tried not to think on it too much.
"So, are we ready to get started?" BJ asked, to which a few were about to give some concerns they still had. However...
"Yup! All good to go!" Toga cheered as she and Dabi took their seats, away from the group, despite her wanting to sit by her 'friends.'
"Great, lets get to it." With a snap of his fingers, he vanished and got the tape rolling.
While the majority of the room were still tense due to the new arrivals, they tried to calm themselves by the fact that they couldn't do anything to harm anyone while there. So they should be fine... for now at least.
We cut to a large demonic-looking office building. In front of which was a sign, welcoming you to a city called Imp City, a place all the way down in hell.
"Hell huh? What a fantastic starting off point." Dabi snarked, relaxing in his seat.
Zooming in on the building, we cut to a door naming the place to which it leads to, that being IMP Headquarters. It also had a piece of paper taped onto it, on it stating that their was a meeting in progress, with a small smiley face drawn right next to it.
Inside the office, we see a man dressed in a dark orange shirt, a green bolo necktie, a black waistcoat and black dress pants. He wears plain dark red gloves and a tall brown top hat, a pale feather sticking out on the left side.
His face is left unseen, as he dawns a white mask with a black geometric design.
Toga looked surprised to already see an ally of theirs on screen. "Mr. Compress?"
"Huh, him being in hell doesn't surprise me." Dabi nonchalantly stated.
"Alright, now I know business has been... a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, okay? I'm not naming any names here... Izuku." Compressor stated, Izuku making an odd face at him. "Now does anyone have any bright ideas on how we can get business drumming up again?"
Now getting a good view of the table, we see everyone attending this meeting.
There was Izuku, dressed in a black tux with a large red bowtie. His eyes had yellow sclera and black slits in place of irises. His teeth were also sharp and pointed, to the point one could mistake them for shark teeth. Out of his head came two large horns.
Sitting beside Izuku was a blonde-haired girl wearing a cold-shoulder black crop top and torn black pants. Like Izuku, she also had two horns protruding out her head, albeit much smaller than Izuku's.
Across from them sat the final member of this team. She was a rather tall woman with two long rabbit ears in place of regular ones, as well as red sclera as opposed to white. Clad in a grey crop top with strings shaped like an inverted pentagram to hold it up, she gave no attention to the meeting, preferring to be on her phone.
"Look Dabi! It's me!" Toga said excitedly, shaking Dabi as she does so. "And I have cute little horns!"
"So does Deku. And his eyes are yellow." Uraraka stated curiously.
"Wow. He's sort of like me, but opposite." Mina said, pointing to her short horns, black sclera and yellow irises.
"What are they? Demons or something?" Kaminari wondered.
"They even have the pro hero Mirko?" All Might looked at this in confusion. "What kind of business is this?"
Himiko raises a hand. "What about a car wash?"
"This is hell, Himiko. No one cares about cars being cleaned here, okay?" He replies angrily before thinking up an idea himself. "Ooh, what about a billboard?"
Izuku rolled his eyes at this. "We can't afford a billboard, sir."
Jirou looks at this with a raised eyebrow, having expected worse for something that takes place in hell. "This seems... rather normal. Oddly enough."
"Helpful, Izuku. Really glad you're in the room right now." Compressor says, sliding up to Izuku's side before shoving him away. "Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?" Pulling out a remote, he clicks a button to turn on the TV.
The TV snaps on, showing some of their past work. It shows Compressor bashing someone's head open with a large mallet, Izuku blowing a hole through a person's skull with a shotgun and getting blown away by the recoil, Rumi wringing someone's throat with her jaws as they scream in pain, and finally Himiko slicing off someone's head with a jagged spear, chuckling in glee afterwards.
Nearly everyone's faces were aghast in fear and utter disgust, some even feeling the urge to vomit. The only ones who weren't were Toga, for obvious reasons, and Dabi, again, for obvious reasons. Toga had a large grin on her face, not only from seeing herself killing people, but also seeing her darling Izuku happily indulging in the same.
"Had to open my big mouth." Jirou struggled to not throw up the contents of her stomach.
"Ahh, those were the good times." Compressed sighed as he held a bucket of popcorn, Rumi and Himiko getting some for themselves.
Izuku rubbed his head from the shove he was victim to earlier, glaring at his boss. "I don't need any reminding, sir, considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel nobody watches."
"Quite an... unorthadox business practice." Nezu noted.
Midnight chuckled at this. "Understatement of the century."
Compress gets up from the floor as the video ends. "Uh, hey, excuse me. What's 'obnoxious' about a super-fun jingle, all right? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit!"
"People love musicals, sir." Himiko complimented.
"Exactly, Himiko. And we're basically doin' a musical. Are you gonna crush my musical theatre dreams like my dad did?" Compressor asked Izuku dramatically.
"Sir-" Izuku started.
"'Cause right now, all I see is just my dad's asshole talking to me! Crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside." Compressor was really trying to ham it up as much as he can.
Dabi rolled his eyes at this. "So dramatic."
"Are you trying to crush his dreams, Izuku?" Himiko asked with a smirk.
Izuku was about to go off on his boss but looked to Himiko in confusion. "I- What?"
"I thought I knew you~" Himiko teased as she stuck out her tongue at him. Izuku had a dumb smile on his face as he rolled his eyes at her, though there was a little blush in his cheeks.
The sight had varying reactions from the group. Most looked at this in shock. The thought of their classmate, Midoriya, shacking up with a psychotic murderer like Toga was... unnerving to say the least. Especially if this one was anything like theirs.
"Is... Don't tell me somethings going on with those two." Mineta said.
"Oh I bet there is!" Toga giggled. "Me and Izu-kun look so cute together as little devils."
"I can't believe you, Izuku, after I made you employee of the month!" Compressor cried as he held up a plaque he made with Izuku's photo.
"Okay, sir!" Izuku said loudly, wanting to put an end to this. "I'm sorry, a commercial jingle is not comparable to musical theatre. Nobody actually likes the jingles."
"I like the jingles." Toru grumbled to herself.
"I liked it." Himiko stated, to which Izuku got noticeably more irate.
"Do not- Do not agree with him in front of me." He said.
We cut to the commercial they made with Compressor coming in from the side.
"Hi, there! I'm Compressor! The "OR" is silent, and I'm the founder of I.M.P.!" He states, gesturing to their logo.
"I.M.P.? Like imps?" Momo wondered. "So they are imps then?"
Kaminari shrugged. "That would make sense. Since they appear to live in a place called Imp City."
"Are you a piece of shit that got yourself sent to hell?" He asks, a photo of him with a monocle and twiddling a sinister mustache as he walks from a burning 'Orphanage for Elderly Blind Newborn Dogs' coming up on the screen. "Or are you an innocent soul who got FUCKED over by someone else?!" A photo of him dressed as an angel throwing away a paper cup in the trash can comes up as an example of an innocent soul.
"He completely missed the recycling bin right next to the trash." Melissa mentioned.
We cut to a demon wearing an Ohio sports jersey, Compressor, out of frame holds up a cardboard sign next to the demon that says 'Some guy who hired us!'
"After lovingly killing my wife for FUCKING A DELIVERYMAN, you can imagine my surprise when I wound up here, after the state of Ohio killed me. I really wish I could stick it to that yappy jogger who saw me hiding the body!" The demon shouted in complete and utter rage, to the point his voice got more monstrous at some points.
Mineta shivered in fear. "Jeez, do people like this really exist in our world?"
"Oh yeah. Many are much worst in fact." Dabi smirked, scaring Mineta even more.
We cut to Compressor, Izuku, and Himiko in a room, the latter two appearing to be working on something resembling a demonic summoning circle.
"Well, luckily for you, thanks to our company's special access to the living world-" Compressor holds up a large book and waves his fingers. Doing this causes the circle on the floor to activate and erupt into a flaming portal. Startled by this, both Izuku and Himiko run away, to which Compressor instead walks over to it. "-we can help you take care of your unfinished business by taking out anyone who screwed you over when you were alive!" Compressor stated before falling back into the the portal.
Kirishima raised an eyebrow. "So they're assassins from hell? That can go into the living world to kill people?"
"I can definitely see how they can make a business out of that. Especially from people in hell." Mandalay had a hard time grasping how they even got a book that would allow them to do something like this.
A jingle starts playing as we see someone, angrily imagining a person, getting crossed out.
~When you want somebody gone~
A body falls right beside him, causing him to jump.
~And you don't want to wait too long~
He looks up to see Compressor, Himiko, and Izuku in a circle above him. They turn to silhouettes as the name of their company comes up.
~Call the Immediate Murder Professionals~
"Real creative name." Bakugou sarcastically stated.
~Hand grenade or cyanide~
Izuku tosses a grenade out a window, the other two covering their ears from the explosion.
~We'll make it look like suicide~
We then cut to Compressor strangling someone with a rope from the ceiling, Izuku leaving a chair to make it seem it was self-done. Himiko even came in from the side with a fake suicide note she wrote up.
~The Immediate Murder Professionals~
Compressor electrocutes someone with jumper cables, Himiko smashes someone's head with a large mace, and Izuku just strangles someone with his bare hands.
No one was quite what to think. They were essentially watching their friend and his team murder a bunch of people and use it for a commercial. What were they supposed to think of all this? That it was funny?
Well, two kind of did, you already know who.
~We do our job so well~
Compressor motions for the others to follow him as him and the other two race through a portal on their wall, Izuku tripping on the way through.
~Because we come straight up from hell~
Making it through the portal, Compressor adjusts his tie as Izuku picks himself back up. The moment they see their surroundings however, their eyes widen in surprise.
We see the other side of the room they were in, in which we see a preacher and a congregation looking over to their new arrivals in shock, fear, as well as confusion.
The trio had teleported to a church.
This actually brought some snickering amongst the group, finding humor in a group of demons accidently going to a church of all places, much to the surprise of everyone there.
~We'll kill your husband or your wife~
Himiko is shown stabbing a naked couple laying atop one another, Izuku averting his eyes at the sight. Compressor, on the side, picks up a pair of panties he found on the floor.
~We'll even let you keep the knife~
Compressor is seen stabbing someone's head repeatedly with a knife.
We then see a quick little sequence of the trio numerous assassination's on people. Ranging from stretching someone with a medieval rack, chasing someone while on a shark, to even smothering someone with a pillow, and crushing someone under a grand piano and proceeding to play it.
~We're the Immediate Murder Profession-
The song abruptly ends as the Izuku, aiming a shot gun right at a blonde woman on her phone, ends up accidently shooting a young boy who happened to be walking in front of her eating ice cream.
Izuku looks at the scene in complete shock, not expecting things to go so wrong so quickly.
Everyone was completely caught off guard by the boy getting shot. However, they quickly noticed that he shared a shocking resemblance to someone else in the room.
"... Did Deku just *Bleep* kill me!?" Katsuki shouted, more annoyed than disturbed by this, weirdly enough.
We then cut to a hospital as a doctor shoves open the door, a female nurse and a male nurse wheel Katsuki's body into the room.
"Doctor, he's not responding!" The female nurse panicked, in a surprisingly masculine voice.
Mineta, whom was eyeing up the nurse, was completely taken aback by the sound of her voice, wondering if she was actually a man for a bit.
"Cool water, stat!" The male nurse shouted, to which the other nurse grabbed a pitcher of water and slammed it on Katsuki's face. All this did was make the boy wet. "It didn't do anything!"
"Oof, Recovery Girl would have their asses for that." All Might stated.
"Damn it! I'm not losing another one!" The doctor shouted, placing down a defibrillator and passing a pair of paddles to both nurses, as well as taking a pair himself.
"He's... not serious... is he?" Uraraka questioned.
All three had their paddles placed at different parts of the boy's body. "Clear!" The doctor shouts as the paddles activate, shocking Katsuki's body. Surprisingly, right after they do this, Katsuki gasps. He was alive.
The doctor and nurses look at this in shock.
"Holy shit, it actually worked." The doctor said.
Kaminari looked at this in disbelief. "They shocked a boy's body but didn't even think it would work?"
"I think a better question is: Why they thought to do that in the first place?" Sato questioned.
"I mean, it did seem to work... I guess?" Mineta shrugged.
Izuku, Himiko, and Compressor were all sitting outside the hospital room. Izuku was slumped down in his seat, having felt devastated about this whole thing, all the while Himiko rubs his head to comfort him.
Compressor meanwhile was just reading a magazine he picked up on the side, looking overall unfazed about what just happened.
"Well, at least young Midoriya actually seems to care that he almost killed a child." All Might was glad his successor in this universe was not a... complete psychopath.
The doctor walks out the room with a clipboard. "He appears to be in stable condition, but he'll need surgery. Now what insurance provider do you freaks have?" He asked the trio.
"The fuck is insurance?" Compressor asked, having no idea what the doctor was on about.
Everyone chuckled a bit at this. Of course some imp from hell would have no idea what the heck insurance was.
We suddenly cut to outside the hospital, as Katsuki, still in his hospital bed, is thrown out a window with Izuku and Himiko holding onto the sides, screaming. The bed gets caught on a rope and causes the three to fall right off it. Compressor gets his foot caught on some of the rope, until it snaps releasing both him and the bed.
"So they toss them out when they can't pay?" Toru questioned.
A shot of the logo comes up.
~Kids die for freeeeeee!~
"As horrible as that all was, that jingle was surprisingly catchy." Mina stated.
"I know right?" Toga cheered, going up to the pink-skinned girl, and in turn freaking her out a bit due to the close proximity of a psychopath.
We go back to the meeting, to which Izuku points his attention to the rabbit of their group.
"I'd like to go on record and say that incident was Rumi's fault." Izuku passive aggressively states. "Dispatch is supposed to give us the right info on the target. It's very simple."
Rumi however, rolls her eyes at this. "Oh, sit on a dick, Izuku."
"You sit! Sit on...a- and the d- Do your job!" Izuku says, failing at his attempt to make a comeback.
Kirishima winced. "Oof. That just hurt to watch."
"Hey, now we don't blame our screwups on Rumi, okay? She didn't do anything wrong!" Compressor states as he goes over to Rumi and nuzzles her cheek, her growling he does this.
This was an odd sight for them to be sure. Mr. Compress nuzzling the 5th ranked pro hero... just did not logically make sense. She would have snapped his arms in half at the very least.
Izuku looks at this in disbelief. "Are you kidding me, sir? She's awful."
We cut to previous event where Rumi sat at her desk reading a magazine. The desk phone, which happened to look like a carrot, began to rang, to which she picked it up and answered.
"Hello, I.M.P."
"Rumi, I got stabbed! Call Iz-" Himiko panickily said before Rumi immediately hung up, preferring to read her magazine instead.
"Why would they leave her in charge of the phone if she'll do that?" Yaoyorozu wondered.
We cut to another time where Compressor made his way up to Rumi with a present in his hands. "Happy Adoption Anniversary, Rumy! I got you a little somethin'."
Everyone's eyes widened at this. "Wait, he adopted her?" Sero wondered if he heard it right.
"I guess that explains why he was acting how he was earlier with her." Tsuyu mentioned.
"Is it a cure for syphilis?" She asked.
This gave Compressor some pause. "I...oh..."
"Then I don't want it!" Rumi shouted before grabbing the box and slamming it down to the ground.
"I'm not the only one weirded out at see Mirko act like an ungrateful and angsty teen right?" Jirou asked aloud, to which no one disagreed with her.
"I was more weirded out by the fact that she apparently has syphilis." Mineta mentioned, to which many just ignored this.
The moment the box hit the ground however, a swarm of spiders suddenly emerged from it, covering up Rumi to her neck. She groaned, disgusted at the spiders covering her and glared at Compressor, whom was now outside behind a window.
"I'm sorry, it was spiders."
Toru shivered at the sight of so many spiders covering up a human body, finding the thought of it happening to herself absolutely dreadful.
"God dammit." Rumi groaned.
We then see Rumi watching tv at her desk, Izuku entering the room with a concerned look on his face.
Looking to the tv, Kaminari caught an unusual sight. "Is that Uraraka on a cloud?"
"Um, excuse me, did you just fax me an ad for weight loss?" Izuku questioned her, holding up a piece of paper with the words 'Chub B Gone' on it.
"No." She replied simply, not looking away from the tv.
"Wha- Why-why would anyone send me this?"
"Come on, you know why." She said with a smirk.
"Now that is just mean." Tsuyu said, not sure if she was enjoying seeing someone she looked up to being mean to her friend. Even if it was in a diferent universe.
We then see Rumi rummaging through their company's fridge. "Whoever left the fucking avocado salad in the fridge, I'm taking it, because I have the worst hangover right now." Rumi groans as she takes a container from the fridge and starts drinking the salad... somehow.
Himiko, watching this from the side, looks at Rumi in confusion. "Why would you drink on a work night?"
Rumi finishes off the salad in one go. "I'm hungover from this morning, dumbass!"
"Isn't that my lunch?" Izuku asks, entering the room.
"You know what? I can't take this assault right now!" Rumi shouted, dropping the container. "I need to blow off some fucking steam!" She shouted before kicking the container, it knocking Izuku out of the room, and runs out.
Rumi races out of the building, screaming her head off in anger. Coming across a demon lady walking by with a baby stroller, Rumi immediately punts the stroller into the air. Rumi stomps off as the mother is left frozen in disbelief.
"Ok, starting to think describing her as 'awful' was a bit of an understatement." Kirishima stated, believing anyone who would kick babies were the worst of the worst.
We then see Rumi at her desk once more, talking to some over the desk phone. Compressor and Izuku were off to the side drinking some water.
"Compressor, that clingy rich asshole is on the phone. Says it's urgent and wants to talk to you." She calls out. "Sounds a little DTF-y."
"Oh, God, it was one time!" Compressor shouts as he drops his cup of water and crosses his arms. "If I hadn't slept with that privileged asshole, none of us would have access to the living world."
The room went quiet upon that statement, not quite sure what to make of it.
Izuku looks at him confusion. "You what?"
We cut to a bedroom inside of a prestigious mansion fit for royalty. In the bedroom, a man with black hair is seen fast asleep on a bed. Behind him, Compressor is up and about, also partially nude with a large book in his arms.
While a few were disgusted by the scene before them, Yaoyorozu looked at it in complete shock.
"Yaomomo? You alright?" Toru asked.
Yaoyorozu however just stared at the screen, particularly at the man asleep on the bed. "F... Father?" She says, shocking everyone.
Jirou looked back and forth between the man and Yaoyorozu. "That's your dad?!"
"I do believe so..." She replied, looking utterly disturbed by the implications of this. She just hoped this version of her father was not together with her mother yet, believing her own father would not stoop to cheating on his wife.
"Got the book, got the book! Got this fucking heavy book!" He says quietly to himself as he makes his way out the room. Reaching the balcony, he sets the book on the ledge and lifts himself up on it. However, due to the book being a little heavier than he anticipated, it started to slip.
"Oh...oh shit!" He grunted as he fell off the balcony with the book.
Landing on a large cake, Compressor finds himself atop a table with Yaoyorozu's mother and two of her friends there as well, now with cake all over them.
"Awkward." Mina stated, Yaoyorozu covering her face in embarrassment with both her hands.
Looking up to the woman, Compressor says the most reasonable think he could of. "Sorry I fucked your husband."
Yaoyorozu let out a loud groan, unable to take everything she was seeing and hearing.
We cut back to Rumi, irritated that Compressor hadn't moved since she told him about the call.
"Compressor!" She shouted.
"I heard you alrea-!"
We see Compressor now in his office, the person on the phone being transferred over to his. "So, what can I do you for this time, Tadashi?" Compressor strained as he played with an Izuku bobblehead.
We see Tadashi sat upon his luxurious couch with a mischievous smile on his face. "There's a political candidate causing trouble up on earth for a few of my associates. He's trying to convince people global warming exists."
"Doesn't it?"
"Well, yes, but more people die if nothing is done about it. And it gets lonely here~" Tadashi sensually moaned.
"Please... Just kill me now." Not able to stand this version of her father that they were witnessing, Yaoyorozu created a metal bat from her hand. "Just bash my head in, please."
Toga reached over to do that, believing that she was just doing as her friend asked her, but was stopped by Tsuyu's tongue grabbing her wrist.
"Don't even try it."
"Okay, well, yeah, that makes sense."
"You know what happens when I'm lonely, Compy?"
"Oh, god fucking damnit." Compressor cursed to himself, away from the phone.
"When I'm lonely, I become hungry...and when I become hungry, I want to choke on that red *Bleep!* of yours! *Bleep!* your *Bleep!* and lick all of your *Bleep!* before taking out your *Bleep!* and *Bleep!* with more teeth until you're screaming *Bleeeeeeeeeeep!* like a fucking baby-!"
Compressor, noticeably disturbed by the words he was hearing, goes and just hangs up the call.
Many were left with their jaws open in disbelief from what they were hearing. The thought that what he said was so bad that it got censored made them wonder if they even want to know what he said.
It was fair to say Yaoyorozu was fairly traumatized by this, and will never look at her father the same way again.
Instead of leaving it there however, he also goes and snaps his phone in half. He then picks up his desk phone, and uses it to smash the snapped phone into pieces. Then he places those pieces into a blender, blending them into a liquid... somehow.
"Eat this!" He tells Rumi, whom was standing next to him, handing the blender to her. Rather question it, Rumi just takes it and starts drinking the blended up cellphone. "And then you know that bridge over the freeway?"
Rumi looks down at him, having finished up the drink. "Yeah?"
"Shit off it!"
Mina's face squinted repulsively. "Disgusting!"
"Seems like a fair reaction to me." Dabi said,
We cut back to the present, with Compressor still standing by Rumi. "Look, the point is Rumi's a valued member of our family, and we don't get rid of family." He proudly states, missing the subtle smile Rumi gets at hearing those words.
This honestly surprised everyone. "Huh. For a demon, he seems to really care for family." Kirishima acknowledged.
"We aren't a family, sir! You are the boss! We are the employees! You treat her like she's some troubled teenager! She's more like a meth-addicted homeless woman you let man the phones!" Izuku shouts angrily, to which Rumi gives no response besides a slow rising middle finger.
Nezu chuckled at the younger Mirko they were baring witness to. "Seems to be a pretty accurate description of her from what we've seen thusly."
"That is offensive! Without homeless people, I wouldn't have half the joy and laughter I do in this life!" Compressor makes his way to the window and slams his face up to it, leaving a few cracks as he look down.
Below their office was a sad homeless demon, holding up a sign that says 'Monee Helps Satan Bless' In front of him was a female demon whom was talking on her phone. Catching sight of Compressor by the window, she steps away from the building and glares at him.
Unfazed by this, he merely waves down at her before closing the blinds.
"While we're on the subject of 'family'," Izuku said with air quotes. "-can you stop finding me and Himiko outside of work?"
"Come on, Sweetie! It's not that big a deal!" Himiko said, waving it off.
"Excuse me, what?!" Izuku shouted.
We cut to Izuku and Himiko in their kitchen getting dinner prepped. Izuku was over by the counter chopping up some carrots. "Honey, can you get me the butter?"
Almost everyone looked at this in discomfort, disturbed that their earlier assumptions proved to be true. While it was a possibility, they truly thought any version of Midoriya, no matter how different, wouldn't dare even attempt a romantic relationship with someone like Toga.
"I knew it! We really are meant to be~" Toga gushed, her ever permanent blush growing deeper at the sight of her and Midoriya as a married couple. He even called her 'honey'! Only those truly in love give each other cute nicknames.
"Sure, Sweetie." Himiko said happily as she opened up their refrigerator. A hand suddenly comes out and slaps creamy looking butter into her hands.
"Spoiler alert: the butter's spoiled!" Compressor chuckled.
Himiko looks at him in complete shock, before giggling at the joke.
Dabi quirked an eyebrow at this. "Was he just sitting in there the whole time just for a butter joke."
Izuku hears this and looks over to Himiko after dropping the carrots into a pot. "What's funny, Honey?"
"Really impressive word play." Compressor is seen sitting snuggly inside their fridge.
This caused Izuku to almost immediately freak out. "What the?! Why are you in our fridge?!"
We cut to later in the evening, where Izuku and Himiko were asleep in their bed. Izuku however, starts fumbling a bit due to strange noises. His eyes crack open to see his boss in his bed, squatted down right on top of him, and purring like a kitten for some reason.
"Ok, that's just disturbing." Uraraka stated. "Especially with that purring."
Compressor looks down into Izuku's eyes. "Whatcha dreamin' about?"
"I was dreaming about my parents being murdered, but now, I'd like to go back to that." Izuku answered with a glare.
Sato looked at this thoughtfully. "You know, harsh as it is, I could understand that."
We then see Izuku and Himiko sitting down on their couch. Izuku, guitar in hand, was singing a song he made for Himiko, to show her just how much he loved her, with her even joining in at some points.
~Of all the imps in hell~
~It's for her/him that I fell~
~Oh, Himi...~
"I hate to admit this... BUT THEY ARE JUST SO CUUUTE!" Toru gushed at the sight, her inner shipper rearing its head, and causing her classmates to look at her in confusion.
Himiko beams at the scene, almost taken aback by the clear love the two share for one another. This version of her was so lucky. Being in a world where no one cares about your murderous tendencies, and keeping a loving relationship with Midoriya who indulges in the same? It sounded heavenly, despite it being in hell.
The two smile at one another before closing their eyes and leaning in for a kiss. However, Izuku's eyes catch something by the window, the sight making his face contort in extreme rage.
"Are you fucking filming us right now?!" He shouted at the window, revealing Compressor outside with a camcorder, recording the couple.
"Damn that creep! He ruined the moment!" Toru shouted angrily. Her friends look at her in worry, not sure how to feel about her supporting a relationship between two murderers.
We cut to the present. Izuku's eye twitches in anger from having remembered his boss' past actions. "Just. Stop. Doing. That."
"I don't see what the issue is! Is there something you don't want me seeing?" Compressor cheekily asked.
Izuku glared at what his boss was implying. "No!"
"You a baby-weiner-haver?" Compressor smirked as Rumi snickered at Izuku.
Bakugou couldn't help but laugh hysterically at this, barely able to contain himself in the slightest.
"Sir, what you say and how you act is totally inappropriate!" Izuku rose up from his seat in anger.
"Calm down, Izu. You're gonna have another panic attack!" Himiko said worriedly, sitting him back down in his seat to attempt to console her partner.
"I am calm!" Izuku shouted.
Himiko starts rubbing his head as he begins to whimper like a puppy. "Shh. Shh. There, there."
"Aw, he's like a little puppy." Himiko cooed.
Compressor connects his left thumb and forefinger together and points at it with his right forefinger, essentially implying sex. "Look, I don't judge the boring couple stuff you do outside work hours, so don't judge me!" He crossed his arms.
"Oh, I do judge you, sir! Quite a lot actually!" Izuku bites back from his seat.
"Izu, he's our boss!" Himiko chastised him, sitting him back down.
"No no no, it's fine Hims, your husband is just...How do I say this without being offensive..." Compressor thought it over. "Retarded."
"He is the most insufferable person I have ever had the displeasure of baring witness to." Yaoyorozu rubbed her temples, trying to relax her mind, and failing.
"Does immaturely insulting me make you feel better about your sad, single life?" Asked Izuku, to which Compressor gets up in his face.
"It actually does."
Rumi, done with this, puts her phone down. "The only reason you have a wife is because you're easy to manage!"
This actually got Himiko pissed as she slammed her hands on the table "No he's not, you bitch!" She growled, giving the rabbit two middle fingers.
This surprised everyone, even Dabi, who was not used to seeing Toga actually mad. She usually smiles constantly, even when fighting.
"Do not talk to my receptionist that way! She's sensitive!" Compressor states.
"Yes, I am!" Rumi shouted.
"You guys are all fucking assholes." Said a voice from offscreen. We turn to see Katsuki glaring at them on a table with a heart monitor on the side.
"They brought me along with them?" Bakugou wondered aloud. "And you allow him to *Bleep* curse and not me?!"
"Yep." Was all that was heard throughout the room, only proving to aggravate Bakugou even more.
"Oh shut up, kid. You're lucky to witness this." Compressor said.
"Ugh, this company is such a mess!" Izuku groaned.
Compressor slides up to Izuku's side. "Alright, let's go back to talking about my outfit."
"Nobody was talking about that." Rumi stated before going back to her phone.
"Which is why I'm trying to get that ball rolling. So, how does it look? It's good, right?"
However, Katsuki had a few choice words he wanted to share with them as he removed the wires connecting him to the heart monitor.
"It's been a literal hell having to pretend to be paralyzed, so you fuckshits wouldn't kill me! But now, I want that. I want death!" Katsuki groaned before pointing over at Compressor. "You are a selfish, greedy clown. And I'm a kid. We're suppose to like clowns, even the creepy ones!"
"Ooh, hit right where it hurts eh?" Kaminari says.
Bakugou however, couldn't help but chuckle at his young self roasting the group.
"Hey now, that's not very-" Izuku said sternly, only to recoil once the boy started shouting at him.
"If I wanted to hear from a spineless jackass, I'd rip out your spine and ask you some shit!"
"That's my husband you're talking to!" Himiko came in, wanting to defend her love. Katsuki however just laughed at this.
"That's your husband?!" He asked, to which Izuku and Himiko snarled at him. "I figured you for a slut, but I didn't know you needed dick that bad!" He said while indicating that Izuku was 'small' with his fingers.
The class was shocked by the words coming out of this young Bakugou. Not even theirs insulted people to this level. "Jesus, were you actually like this as a kid." Uraraka asked, to which she got no answer, due to him still laughing.
Himiko however, not pleased with his other self's insults to both her and her husband, made note to... tickle him with a knife later on when she got the chance. Regardless of the rules there.
"And you!" He continued, pointing to Rumi.
"What? What about me?"
"Nothing. I don't talk to rabbits. I'm a dog person."
"He does realize they'll most likely kill him now right?" Dabi asks, causing Bakugou to pause at the realization.
Rumi looks at him in shock and glares at him, deciding to just go back on her phone.
"Wow. You know, kid, you kind of are a piece of shit." Compressor states, clearly upset with the boy. Izuku grumbles to himself angrily, his desire to kill him growing along with the others.
But they had principals. And since this boy was not their target, they had decided to not murder him.
The majority of the room sighed in relief, having believed the group would kill young Bakugou right then and there for insulting them. They were glad to see the demonic assassins at least had some morals.
Suddenly, Rumi receives a notification from her phone, her eyes widening in glee as she reads it. "Oh, fuck! Guys, I just got a text from our client. Guess he was the right target after all."
"Who?" Compressor asked, to which she pointed over to the boy.
"Him."
"Me?" Katsuki questioned.
"Yup."
Almost everyone's faces fell in realization of what is to come "Oh no." Uraraka said.
Himiko however had the largest grin on her face. "Oh yes."
Compressor looked to Rumi in confusion. "They wanted us to kill an actual child?"
"That's what they're sayin'."
"Well, Christ on a stick, I guess there is a god!" Compressor states before pulling out a pistol and immediately shoots Katsuki through the chest, killing him instantly.
Despite having seen it coming, the class were not ready to see it actually happen. To witness the death of a child, just because a demon wanted it for some reason, just reassured them that were truly terrible people out there. Ones who would in fact pay for something like this on just about anyone.
"You know, folks," We hear Compressors voice as we cut to him and Izuku kicking the dead body of Katsuki in glee while Himiko repeatedly stabs it. On the side, Rumi takes a photo of it with her phone, most likely for their employer.
Kaminari looked at this confused. "What even is the point? He's already dead."
"-with this company, I really wanted to prove that we're capable of doing the same things anyone else can. Like killing people!" Compressor, now in a hazmat suit, is seen cutting off Katsuki's arm with a hacksaw. Izuku, in a suit similar to his, comes in and start slicing up the body with a chainsaw.
If they hadn't threw up earlier, they certainly were going to now. Almost the whole class got nauseous at them just cutting off the boy's arm. It only got worse when they brought in the chainsaw.
Not wanting his seats to get ruined, BJ summoned paper bags for those who needed them, leaving them practically bottomless so they could get it all out.
The only ones able to handle this were the teachers, the villains, and the few who had watched a number of graphic horror movies. The rest, weren't so lucky.
We cut to the four now behind a dumpster, placing the boy's dismembered body into a sack. "So, from us here at the Immediate Murder Professionals group, we promise to settle your unfinished business or your money..." Placing the head inside, Izuku and Himiko look to one another and smile. "-is gone and you're never getting it back and you can write us a bad review, but we'll play dumb to it, because it's hell and no one fucking cares."
"Why are they putting the pieces into a bag of all things?" Toga wondered, smiling at her and Midoriya's little moment just then.
Looking down to the three on the ground, Compressor kneels down and wraps his arms around them all.
"You know, even though this kid was a target, he's still a child." He said thoughtfully, wrapping his tail around them. "And it's important that we handle this going forward respectfully." Hearing this garnered a smile from the group.
"At least they have that much sense." Uraraka sighed.
"I don't know..." Jirou said skeptically.
We cut to the real word as a news reporter is interviewing Katsuki's mother, Mitsuki. While the reporter looked generally uninterested in what was going on, Mitsuki looked like a mess, with her eyes red from crying and her hair all over the place.
It was very odd for Bakugou to see his mother in such a state. She's not normally the kind to weep in despair. And just from him going missing for a while... Ok that made sense.
In her hand was a rather crude drawing of Katsuki, sorta backing up the headline the newscast put up which said 'MOM SUCKS AT DRAWING OWN KID'
Mandalay shook her head at this. "Ok, that's just insensitive."
"Please! If anyone has seen my little Katsuki, please contact us at-" Mitsuki sobbed before a large bag dropping into her arms from the sky. Confused by this, her and the reporter look up to see a portal up above them. Out of it were the head of Compressor, Himiko, and Izuku looking down at them.
"You're welcome!" Compressor says with a wave before ducking back into the portal as it shuts.
With that, the screen turns to black, leaving most of the room with their mouths agape from that final scene. Just when they decided to give these imps the benefit of the doubt, they pull something like this, believing they were doing something good.
BJ reappeared. "So what do you guys think?"
Toga almost immediately rose from her seat. "Well I loved it! Can I go there? Please!" She begged, giving of her signature sharp and toothy smile.
"Toga, we've been over this. I'm not sending any of you to any of these worlds."
This brought down Toga's mood. "Aw, why not?"
"Because..." BJ paused for a bit, before turning his attention to the class. "So what do the rest of you think about the viewing?" Toga pouted at this.
"Well I personally was not a fan of this one. What with the murder, vulgar language and... every scene with my father..." Yaoyorozu gagged a bit the memory. "Please assure me we won't see that particular universe again."
"Oh Yaomomo..." BJ placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "You and I both know I would never promise something like that." She sadly had to nod at this, having gotten enough information about him to know that much at least.
Toga grumbled in her seat as she thought about that universe again. All in all, it seemed like a perfect place for someone like her to be in, for reasons we all know. Sure, she did not get to see all of her friends in this viewing, but who's to say they just aren't there? Perhaps they'll see them later on.
Thinking it over made her a little bummed she couldn't be the Toga that lived in that universe. She was living the dream.
Though this viewing did open her eyes to something. If she wanted what she saw to be a reality, she just had to do one of two things. One: Kill both herself and Izuku and hope that hell for them was similar to the one from this universe. Or two: Show Izuku the delight that comes from stabbing someone.
And honestly, when it comes to someone like her, it's not clear which one she would do.
AN: I know, I know. It is no longer October. I screwed up my own string of spooky month videos. But cut me some slack, I... Alright, I got both lazy and forgetful, the worst combination for stuff like this. I've been looking to this for a while, and screwed up royally. Well hey, at least there's next year.
Though it would have been perfect to release this on Halloween day, since the first episode of Helluva Boss just so happened to release on that day. If I had known that beforehand, I would have been more motivated to get this done by then.
Well whatever, I've been too focused on this fic for a while anyway. There are other fics that some people are waiting on, so I should probably give more attention to them. This one is more fun to do, since it doesn't involve me spinning a narrative, but I do need to work on the others a little more.
Oh and real quick. Originally, Hazbin Hotel was going to be here. But, even when trimming down scenes I didn't need, it would have taken me way too long to get it done. So I went with Helluva Boss instead. However, it still managed to be my longest chapter yet. Ain't that topical?
Anyway, I need to go to bed. October has been real stressful on me. Laters