CHAPTER TEN

SECRETS

Dear Grace,

It is with a heavy heart that we are writing this letter to you. We know that when you applied for this job you did not expected to find yourself in a situation like this. However we are beyond grateful that you decided to stay with us and take care of our son. We know we have failed him but there's nothing else we can do to save him anymore. He is beyond our control but are hoping that you can change that and shape him into a better person. We understand if you're angry with us for not being honest with you from the beginning but we were afraid that we would scare you away if we did. We want to apologize for putting such a responsibility on your shoulders but we are truly desperate. We can not live anymore with what we have done to our son, therefore we will not return. Our home is now your home. Thank you for everything Grace, we wish you good luck.

With much love and appreciation,

Thomas Margaret Heelshire

Grace felt her entire body shaking as she read the letter again and again. She was in shock, her mind going numb. She took deep breaths trying to calm her racing heart, she thought she was going to pass out. Her mind traveled back to the day they left. It was the only time she had seen Mr. Heelshire holding the doll in his arms, then she remembered the sadness in Mrs. Heelshires eyes, her tears as she said goodbye to her and the look she gave her as the car was driving away. They never called her since they left and when she tried to call them she couldn't reach them. It all made sense now.

That was a suicide letter.

She covered her mouth in shock, trying to stay quiet not to alert Brahms. She didn't know how would he react. Hell, she didn't know how to react! She ran out of her room and went downstairs, there was no sign of him but just because she couldn't see him it didn't mean he wasn't there. She went outside to the garden and pulled out her phone immediately calling the only person who knew about the situation.

Hello? Alex's voice answered,

Alex, I need you to come here, she said to him in an urgent tone,

What happened? He said worried,

I just got a letter from the Heelshires, I think they're going to hurt themselves, she tried to explain quickly.

What are you talking about? He said clearly confused,

I think they're going to commit suicide, we need to do something, she told him and she heard him curse something under his breath.

Damn it! I'm out of town right now Grace. I'll be back tonight and I'll come straight to you, he promised.

Does he knows? He suddenly asked her,

No, I didn't say anything to him. I called you as soon as I read their letter, she told him.

Maybe you misunderstood something in that letter Grace, are you sure this is what they mean? He asked trying to understand what was going on,

They said that they're never coming back and that they can't live anymore with what they have done to their son, what else could that mean! She almost yelled in desperation and she looked back at the house afraid that Brahms might have heard something.

My God… I'll be there as soon as possible Grace. Don't tell anything to Brahms yet, he might snap or something… he murmured.

Grace walked back inside the house, she was too upset to pretend that everything was okay but she had to put on a front for Brahms. She had only spent a week living with the Heelshires and yet the idea that they would hurt themselves horrified her. She could understand that their life must have been a living hell with everything that had happened to them. They had lived twenty years with the shadow of their son haunting them and even if Mrs. Heelshire had found some kind of comfort in it she knew how painful it must have been.

She rubbed her temples in an attempt to calm down and started preparing breakfast. There was still no sign of Brahms all morning, she hoped it was a coincidence and that he had not somehow sensed that something was wrong. She left his plate on the kitchen table and she went to the living room, she was not hungry so she just made a coffee for herself. He would usually notify her with some kind of a noise when he was done but this time there was only silence. She walked back into the kitchen only to find out that he had not touched his food. She saved his breakfast into the freezer in case he was hungry later and she began her chores for the day to distract herself.

When he didn't show up for lunch she decided to look for him, his behavior was unusual and she was worried that something was wrong with him. The terrible thought that his parents might not be alive anymore and he could sense it crossed her mind and she was afraid of what his reaction might be. She walked upstairs to his room but he was not there, then she decided to look into the library. She knew she had found him when she opened the door and the room was in absolute darkness.

Brahms? She called out his name searching blindingly into the room, for a long time there was silence and she wondered for a moment if he was actually somewhere in there.

How did your family died? His voice came from the darkness suddenly and she took a step back instinctively. He would usually avoid asking about her family knowing that it made her uncomfortable and brought back bad memories to her but that day he was… different.

In a fire, she answered quietly. She knew he had lost his life in a fire too, even if he wasn't completely aware that he was no longer alive she was afraid that talking about it could trigger his own horrible memories.

How did you feel when you lost them? He asked not mentioning anything about his own experience with the fire.

It hurts. They say that time heals wounds but the pain is still there, she said said softly closing her eyes. She didn't bother telling him that she was there too, she didn't tell him that she had witnessed her siblings and her father burning alive in the arms of her mother's dead body. She was so young but she remembered everything, she would never get those images out of her head no matter how hard she tried. Their screams… the horrible smell of burning flesh… She shook her head trying to escape that place in her mind. There had to be a reason why Brahms decided to suddenly ask about her family and she was afraid that she already knew why.

They left me Grace, I thought that I would never had to worry about mommy and daddy leaving me but they left me, his voice was so broken and she could hear that he was crying. Somehow he knew, she didn't know how did he find out but he knew. No words were enough to comfort him, she wished she could hold him in that moment. She knew that pain all too well.

I'm so sorry Brahms, she whispered not really knowing what to say. She had learned from experience that there was no way to ease that pain.

They were right, I've been bad. That's why they left me, I've been bad and they hurt themselves because of me, he sobbed.

She remembered their words from the letter, they said that he was beyond their control and that they hoped that she could make him a better person. It just didn't make sense to her, how could she do that? Then there was the other part saying they couldn't live with what they have done to their son, what could they have done that pushed them to end their lives? Perhaps they felt guilty for not being able to save him, she thought.

Don't say that please, it's not your fault. Your parents loved you, there's no doubt for that, she said softly. It made her sad that he blamed himself for what happened, his soul had suffered so much already. He didn't deserve to suffer any more.

Will you play for me Grace? He asked through sobs.

Of course, she said. She knew music was probably his only escape and she would not refuse his request. He had done the same for her not too long ago. She moved slowly into the dark room and her hands touched the cold, hard surface of the piano. She seated herself and began playing his melody.

~

What are we going to do? She asked turning to Alex who had still the letter in his hands. He was starring at the words in shock, he was hoping that maybe Grace was wrong and only after he read the letter himself he was sure that something terrible had happened.

What can we do? We don't even know where they are, he said looking defeated. Alex had known the Heelshires for a long time and they treated him like family, it must have been very difficult for him to accept the news.

Where do they usually go? She asked him,

Are you kidding? They never go anywhere, he said with a bitter laugh. She sighed heavily, she wasn't surprised besides Mr. Heelshire had already told her that, she was just hoping that maybe Alex knew something that could help.

Maybe we should call the police, perhaps they'll find them in time before… anything happens, she suggested. Alex looked up suddenly ready to say something but he stopped.

I don't think that's a good idea, he finally said,

Why not? What else we can do since we don't even know where they are? She asked confused. She didn't know why he rejected the idea so quickly, it was the only way to help them.

Grace you don't even know when they wrote that letter, they left two months ago. They could be already dead, he said rubbing his face with both hands.

What if it's not too late? What if we can still save them? She insisted not understanding why he didn't wanted to help.

We can't involve the police Grace, he said getting up from the couch and putting the letter into his pocket.

What's that suppose to mean? She asked beyond confused,

Look I'll talk to my father, maybe he knows what we should do, he suggested heading for the door. Grace followed quickly after him,

Why shouldn't we involve the police? She asked grabbing his arm and forcing him to turn back to her.

Grace, this is a very complicated situation. We should handle this very carefully. Let me talk to my father and we'll figure out something, he said looking tired. She couldn't understand his reaction, it frustrated her that he refused to help. What was he afraid of?

You're hiding something from me again don't you? She asked realizing that he knew more than he told her.

I can't explain right now, but you have to trust me, he said quietly

How can I trust you when you're not being honest with me? She said tired of being lied to.

You wouldn't understand! He shouted surprising her, he sighed and immediately regretted it.

I'm sorry for raising my voice, this is just… overwhelming. Let me talk to my father and I'll come back tomorrow, he said looking at her apologetically. Grace just nodded not really having anything to say to him, he was acting strange again and judging from his reaction she realized that something was wrong, something was really wrong.

After she put the doll to bed later that night she visited the library. She walked over to Mr. Heelshire's desk and she found what she was looking for, his laptop. She turned it on and began her search. If Alex was not willing to give her answers she would find the answers herself. She searched about the Heelshires past and she found achieved articles mostly about Mr. Heelshire's work. Apparently he was running a woodworking factory back then which explained the beautiful structure of their home. The first article that caught her attention was about the fire and she immediately clicked on it to read it.

Unlike the story Alex told her the fire was reported as an accident. A terrible accident that took their son's life. She came across a picture of the burning mansion and she shivered. There were so many police cars around the house and she wondered how it was possible to cover such a terrible crime. She searched about Emily Cribbs and she found that her father was the mayor of the town at the time. It was no wonder that he had the power to hide the crime he committed.

She turned off the laptop and sighed feeling frustrated. Her research about the Heelshires past was not successful but then again she wasn't even sure what she was looking for. Suddenly her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps in the hallway. She got up quickly and run out of the library looking around into the hallway but there was no one there. She walked into Brahms room and she saw that the doll was no longer on the bed. She heard footsteps again and she walked back out in the hallway, she realized the sound was coming from her room. When she opened the door she was greeted with darkness and she knew he was there.

I thought you were asleep, she said waiting for his answer.

I can't sleep, I'm sad, he said quietly.

It's okay, I understand, she told him. Of course she didn't expect him to be in a good mood.

I'm scared Grace, his voice was almost a whisper now,

Why are you scared of? She asked him,

I've been bad. I saw what you were doing before, I'm scared that you will leave me, he whispered. She stiffened knowing that he had caught her searching his family's past. It was silly of her to think that she could keep a secret from him.

I'm not going to leave you Brahms, I promised I wouldn't remember? You said you trust me and yet you keep secrets from me, if you want me to trust you, you'll have to be honest with me, she said softly. Perhaps she could convince him to give her the answers she needed.

I don't want to keep secrets from you but I know that the truth will scare you and I hate to see you scared of me, he admitted. His words confirmed her suspicions that there was something else going on, something that both he and Alex refused to tell her.

What happened to that girl Brahms? She asked him, she knew it was a dangerous question but she couldn't avoid it anymore.

She wanted to hurt me and I tried to stop her. I didn't mean to hurt her I just wanted her to stop. They hurt me Grace, they all hurt me, he said with a desperation in his voice that she had never heard before. He had just admitted that he hurt that girl and yet she could not find it in her to hate him. She could not picture him as a killer, all she could picture was his innocent young face that never smiled. It was heartbreaking to think that his entire life he had suffered, even now that he was dead his soul was suffering trapped into this world. He had never found peace.

It's okay Brahms, no one can hurt you anymore. I'm here for you and I won't leave you, I promise, she said softly trying to reassure him by reminding him her promise. He just needed to know that someone was there for him, that he was not alone.

I want to stay with you tonight, he told her. It wasn't the first time he was asking to stay with her at night, she would usually find some kind of excuse to convince him that it was better for him to stay to his room but tonight she could not refuse his request. He was in pain and he needed her.

She walked to her bed and pulled the covers when her hand touched something cold. She reached out with her hand and she realized it was the doll. She pulled the doll in her arms and laid down closing her eyes.

Goodnight Brahms, she whispered feeling sleepy already.

Goodnight Grace… he whispered back from the darkness but Grace was already asleep to notice that his voice was no longer that of a child….