Date posted: 31st October 2020
Thanks to TC for soldiering through this!
CHAPTER XI
You exit the tomb and into the Wastes, breathing in the harsh desert air. The sun peaks just over the mountain. Your quest is not yet finished.
There are trails of smoke in the distance. According to the map, it is from the very center of Golgotha. Though tired, you make haste towards it.
The sounds of battle are heard long before the battle itself is seen. Metal against metal, bone against flesh, Waagh against Waagh. There is a faint buzz of magic in the air.
You find yourself atop a cliff overlooking the centre of the necropolis and war is raging on. On one side is the banner of a sabaton stomping a skull and on the other is the banner of the chipped axe. Gun and cannon fire echo throughout the basin.
Khagan Ead' Splitta force is a wave of desert orcs taking cover behind their long multi-depth line of chained war wagons. His forces fight with halberds and flails while goblin gunners do the busy task of firing and reloading. Normal orc tactics involving wagons is to charge into the enemy like cavalry. Doubling down, fortification and letting the enemy come to you was a tactic that the Empire was famous for. Either the Khagan has read some books or the Empire had something to do about training orcs.
The Khagan himself stands upon the largest war wagon, pulled by a dozen camels on the where he directs his troops with his chipped axe.
Ameed Skullstompa lacks the firepower of his nemesis but makes it up with sheer numbers. There must have been twice the number of orcs under Skullstompa's command, much better armoured. A third of his forces have the wift of necromancy on them, for every orc gunned down another takes its place. These undead orcs fight on despite missing limbs or the top of their heads. Skullstompa fights with his orcs dual wielding mace and choppa.
It is waves of greenskins crashing upon each other and flying above is the wizard Orkimedes. The weirdboy harnesses the power of the sun shoots forth another one of his devastating rays of his killing light into the line of war wagons. It instantly destroys one and lights up a barrel of black powder, destroying another three, killing both soldiers of 'Ead Splitta and Skullstompa.
There you see the Elusive One, on a nearby cliff, guarded by Skullstompa's finest. The dark magic of the necromancer shoots forth from the Staff of the Lich King and raises the dead of both sides. 'Ead Splitta's own soldiers turn against him in death.
The open line is reinforced immediately with Ead' Splitta's elite black plated meatgate, but how much longer can they last? The balance does not favour your ally.
"GM, how many orc minis are there on the table?" asks Sino.
Oh, about fifty, give or take.
"They are very nicely painted!" says Silica.
Thank you, that's why it took so long to get this session running.
"So how much money did you spend on this set piece where none of us will engage them at all?" asks Sino.
It's not about money, it's about immersion. I only provide the best for my players.
"So about three hundred dollars in paints and brushes?" asks Argo.
And about a week's worth of work but it was totally worth it.
"The bastard is using that staff from the tomb! We need to kill him quickly!" says the swordsman.
"What about Orkimedes? His own spell is destroying Ead' Splitta's forces! We need to kill him just as quick unless you fancy us running away from the battle. We don't even know where we are and we don't have our camels," says Sino.
Krogan points to the sky. "See there! The flying carpet flies low next to that hill. Perhaps one of you can take a shot at him."
"With these new bullets I could," says Shino.
"I could throw the dwarf if she misses," Krogan suggested.
"Please don't," says Sino.
"Well, we know what we have to do," says Argo.
It takes a moment to get into position. Sino climbs atop a nearby mausoleum, crouches and rests her rifle on a sturdy y-shaped piece of stick. She takes a moment to calculate the trajectory of her shot. They only have one shot for this.
Nearby, Argo, Silica and the Black Swordsman creep down the cliff heading towards the necromancer. Even from afar you feel his strength, his power amplified via his tome and the Lich King's Staff.
Sino will take her shot, and only then, will they attack. That was their signal.
Orkimedes makes another strafe, his death beam opening another gap in the war wagons line. You've been calculating this, by your own account you have an 80% shot at the wizard.
He's flying closer. He's three hundred paces away.
You squeeze the trigger. The new ammunition flies fast and flies straight.
You hit Orkimedes in the shoulder. The concave mirror in his hands drops to the fighting below. You thank Krogan for the extra bonus damage to wizards you receive from his tale.
"Hah! Take that!"
Orkimedes swerves his flying carpet around and is flying right at you. "Oh, not again."
On the other side of the hill, the rest of the party hears the crack of Sino's rifle.
"We must do this stealthily," says the Black Swordsman, as he lights the mortar's fuse.
The cannonball soars through the air and instantly kills one of the necromancer's guards. The mortar is reloaded as quickly as possible as the ball goes through two orcs, bisecting them instantly.
The mortar spent, you all charge towards the necromancer to end them threat once and for all.
The swordsman's new winged sandals prove to be enchanted as he speeds ahead of the party, bypassing even Argo. Taking the challenge, the elf runs after.
The halfling lags behind. "Wait for me!"
"You are too slow, squirt. You must fly," says Krogan.
"NO NO NO don't you dare -"
Krogan the Uncivilised lifts you with one hand and performs an underhanded toss. You fly pass the both elf and human and slam shield first into the head of an orc big 'un. And according to my calculator here, you do so much damage you instantly make his head explode.
The swordsman's flaming blade cuts through a goblin that got in the way as he duels against an orc with a spear. Argo's new powered gauntlet punches holes into plate as if every strike was like a gunshot. Blood, bone and metal litter the field.
Silica stands up from the mess. An orc choppa descends on her but she blocks upwards! The damage is returned to the orc, staggering him. She whips her flail out right in the orc's diamonds. She then proceeds to pummel his brains out onto the earth, screaming with fury.
"AaAaaAAhhH!"
"That wasn't very Lawful Good of you, priestess-chan," says Argo, breaking a spear in half.
She stands up and wipes the blood from her face. "Kill them all and let the goddess sort them out."
"Definitely not Lawful Good."
Krogan is like a hurricane of death as his adamantine blade cuts through choppas, spears, metal and orc alike. Yet for all the chaos surrounding the necromancer's hill, the Elusive One does not turn to you. He is far too focussed on controlling the masses of undead down below. It is only a matter of time til you get to him.
The swordsman appears beside him. "Orc, throw me!"
"Very well, spikey one!"
The Black Swordsman steps onto the orc's massive hand and is launched into the air as the halfling did. He floats in the air and delivers a downward strike on the skull of an enemy orc. The momentum launches him into another orc and he decapitates him with a single swing. He cries out a prayer for the Dark Gods.
Elsewhere, Orkimedes points at the dwarf on top of the mausoleum. He recites a dead language as he shoots beams from both his pointer fingers.
"Pew pew pew!"
"Really?" ask Sino.
Three beams of light incoming.
Sino leaps off the mausoleum as the roof explodes into shards of stone. You whip out Bigga Boss' pistol and shoot back but the skeletal orc wizard veers off for another run. You curse and reload your rifle.
On the other side of the battle, the party slashes, punches, and flails their way through the orcs. Heads are cut, bodies are broken and heals are casted.
There are no bodyguards left. The necromancer turns around, finally focussing his attention onto you. The battle below rages on.
"Dogs of the Emperor! Only you stand between me and world conquest!" the wizard says.
"Give it up, dickhead! There's only one of you and four of us!" says Argo. Her gauntlet crackles with energy, boiling the blood on it.
He smirks. "Are you sure about that?"
Kirito, make a roll.
"Why?"
Krogan's adamantine blade slams into the swordsman's chest, tearing whatever left of his silk jacket. He is hurled back far and lands into the elf's arms. Silica stands between Krogan and the wounded swordsman.
"I … tried to hit him, with the flat of my blade …" the warlord said. "Didn't do a good enough job. Apologies, spikey."
Argo throws the last of her knives towards the Elusive One. The knives stop a few feet from him, hovering in the air before being shot back at her. Argo slaps it away with her new gauntlet.
Silica moves to strike but considering their height difference, the orc delivers an axe kick atop her. His foot connects to the top of her head and she lies in the dirt sprawled. A second later the adamantine sword is stabbed into where she was mere moments ago. The priestess recovers herself.
"I must focus on controlling the Ameed's army. Be a good thrall and dispose of these of pesky adventurers, o king." The Elusive One waves him off as he would a servant.
"God, your necromancer is such a dickhead, GM," says Argo.
Thanks, I've been dialling up the asshole for him.
"It'll be nice to kick your ass, orc," the swordsman sneers.
"I didn't want it to go this way," says Krogan. "But I would be lying if I'm not having a little bit of fun."
Roll for initiative.
Elsewhere, Sino battles against Orkimedes. The weirdboy out-initiatives her by a single point and that is enough for him to do fly-bys against her with his deadly pew pews. Hitting a moving target comes with a penalty and Sino is not conservative with her new rifle rounds.
It is a deadly game of shots - the flying carpet has multiple holes in them and the dwarf suffers multiple burns from his spells.
Another crack and the round lands in the weirdboy's shoulder. His left arm is obliterated, he is literally disarmed.
Orkimedes flies off intent for another run. By your estimation, just another couple shots and the bastard is dead.
Krogan is a storm, you all know this, but it does not prepare you. His adamantine blade, as long as a greatsword but wielded as swiftly as a broadsword would have dispatched you had you not have your new gear.
The swordsman ducks, weaves and parries, his speed and leaps increase, the movement cost reduced immensely. A solid punch from Argo's fist could do it but the orc's swordsmanship is high level. Krogan focusses his attack on the elf and human all the while punching or kicking at the halfling, lest he reflects the damage of his own sword back at himself.
Silica's flail entraps itself into the bones of his sword arm t. She pulls, putting all her 9 STR into the effort.
It isn't enough.
Argo finds a Silica-shaped flail coming right at her. She acts instinctively and punches the halfling away.
"Ow, what the hell did you do that for?!"
"Sorry!"
The halfling finally dislodges herself and flies into the nearest gravestone.
"Snap out of it, you idiot!" the swordsman yells.
"I … can't … the devil's magic is too … strong ..."
Elsewhere, Sino reloads another shot. Orkimedes, lacking a limb, shoots at you with his remaining hand. He clips your shoulder despite your good cover. Though he lacks his previous rate of fire, his pew pews now hit harder, more accurately.
"Really getting tired of your shit, wizard."
You see him doing another run. The turn around that you've become so familiar with in your short time. He reaches the very edge of your range. Four hundred meters away, but with your new rounds you can clip him but it is unlikely.
You skip your turn.
More pew pews, it kicks up dust and shatters stone around you. He is three hundred meters away. You have a good chance to hit him.
You skip your turn.
The undead orc wizard singes your shoulder. It burns through your gambeson, melting your mail. You smell like cooked pork. He is two hundred meters away. You have a high chance to hit him.
You skip your turn.
Orkimedes yells a long "Waagh!" - audible through the carnage of the battlefield, amplified by his own magic. He is one hundred meters away. You will hit him.
You pull the trigger.
Orkimedes is there, then he is not.
His skull erupts in an explosion of dust and magic. The flying carpet ceases power with no pilot and crashes harmlessly into a nearby column.
Sino slides a finger on the brim of her helmet and says, "Cold as ice."
Everyone claps and she levels up on the spot.
That was what she planned to say. She neither said a cool one liner nor did anyone at the table clapped.
Shino got up in her chair, points at the mini on the table and yells, "IN YOUR FACE YOU FLYING PIECE OF SHIT! FUCK YOU!"
"Woah, Shino. Chill. You've been playing too many of your shooter games there," says Argo.
"WHERE'S YOUR PEW PEWS NOW, ASSHOLE?!" Shino flips the double bird at mini-Orkimedes.
Kirito says to Argo, "This is what happens when she loses a match on competitive." Silica covers her ears.
"SUCK MY BIG FAT DI-"
Anyway! Moving on.
It is 1v2 and you are barely holding on. Only once did the swordsman pass Krogan's defences and he never did it again. Argo lacking reach was relegated to parry any attack with her right fist.
Your rolls range from subpar to bad. A nick here, a clip there. For every attack you do, you get a swing in return. It is a trading game and you are losing your health rapidly. You have been fighting for three turns and the priestess is far away to be of any help, knocked out.
"My die is just rolling really badly!" says Silica, failing to recover from her passed out state.
The elf moves in, passing the reach of Krogan's sword only to be countered by an uppercut to her chin. It throws her back and she spits blood and a tooth. That -1 to Willpower is becoming more than a mere nuisance.
You try to speak to Krogan, but whether he is listening you cannot tell. He fights quietly, as unnerving as your fight with the last warlord.
"This ain't working, my black blade will break his will," says the swordsman.
An idea pops in the elf's head. "Swordsman, I've got a plan!"
The elf tells him.
"Huh, might be crazy enough to work."
If you miss you will be hurt bad.
"I'm taking it."
Krogan swings vertically and Argo rolls high! She catches the sword in her fist. A miss and that blade would have buried itself in her skull or dismember an arm.
Seeing the opening, the swordsman moves in fast thanks to his sandals and unleashes a furry of slashes. Sturdy as the orc is, he was bone only with neither meat nor metal.
The orc drops his sword and falls. The light in his eyes goes dim.
"Aye, that was a good krumpin'. You did good, spikey."
The swordsman raises his sword. "See, told ya I'd get my 1v1."
"I was there too, you know," says Argo.
"And so was I!" says the passed out halfling.
"Your skull will make a fine addition to the Guts God. Any last words?"
There is sadness in the orc's eyes. "It will be an honour to die by your hand, comrades. Don't worry, I won't get mad if you take my choppa."
Kirito chokes back a cry with tears in his eyes. "No GM, I don't want to kill Krogan, please let him adventure with us!"
"That is certainly a turn around," says Sino.
"If I were to die, I'll die fighting. So have at it, humie!" Krogan reaches for his sword.
The swordsman swings first. And with that, he is gone.
There is a silence as you reflect what has happened.
Silica, now out of the rubble, returns to you. "I'm back from my nap!" she says cheerily.
"I was having a moment, priestess!"
"You can have it when we kill you know who."
The three of you face the Elusive One. He is focussed still on his death magic. Below, the forces of Skullstompa have almost overrun the army of 'Ead Splitta. The dead of both sides are piling and they fightfor the Ameed.
The necromancer turns his attention back to you, sensing the death of his thrall. "I'm no warlord, adventurers, but I am still a necromancer with the Staff of the Lich King! You have no chance whatsoeve-"
"I cap his ass," says Sino from her sniper spot.
Your shot penetrates his shoulder. Like the last time you shot him, he is more winded than injured but the extra damage from Krogan's tale hurts him even more. The Staff of the Lich King falls over the edge of the cliff.
"I have just the attack for this special occasion," says Silica. "I move to attack with Pina's Smite!"
You move forward and as you swing the flail, the spiked ball gains heat and like a comet it crashes into the Elusive One with a flash of light. The holy light is painful to an evil being such as him and his forbidden tome bursts into flame.
"My turn!" says Argo.
The elf makes no use of her power gauntlet. Instead she walks up to the Elusive One and kicks him in the balls. He collapses to his knees.
She returns to the party. "I'm satisfied now."
The swordsman prepares to swing his weapon, thinks better of it, and picks up the adamantine blade instead.
With a yell, he hurls the weapon at the necromancer, spearing him in his heart.
He staggers back and falls off the cliff. The Elusive One is dead long before he plunges to the ground.
"Shame you couldn't … stick around, necromancer," he quips.
Everyone at the table groans.
"What? It was cool!" he says. No one agrees.
The necromantic powers gone, the tide of battle turns. The undead orcs collapse and the forces of Ameed Skullstompa are halved instantly. 'Ead Splitta rallies his forces and does battle with his nemesis. Skullstompa answers his challenge.
All of you sit at the edge of the cliff exhausted, watching the carnage below.
It takes a few more hours but the battle is over.
You see them coming from a mile away.
Khagan Ead' Splitta rides in Fred's wagon as he drives up the hill. Both orcs are bloodied but the Khagan is all smiles. Alongside Fred's wagon is Knight Nasir of the Emperor's Sipahi on his very expensive destrier. There is blood on him as well and some of the plates of his armour is broken but he seemed otherwise unharmed.
The khagan exits the wagon. "Ya' did it, squishies! That was a righteous krumpin' we'z had there! You gimped that necrogit good, ha ha!"
"Indeed. That was a close one, and one I've no desire to repeat," said Nasir. He flicks off an eye from the horn of his saddle. "It is a shame that Ameed Skullstompa escaped, but at least the threat is ended. For now."
Fred reaches for the back of his wagon and disposes of a corpse in front of you. "Diz him, innit?" he asks.
"Yep," all of you say. You are all so tired.
The adamantine sword in the Elusive One is still there and the swordsman pries it off without comment. Neither the khagan nor the knight seems to have any complaints about that.
'Ead Splitta views Golgotha and takes in the scene with the bloodlust an orc of his station possesses. He reaches for the Elusive One's hand and chomps into it like one would a drumstick.
"It waz a red day, a choppa day, a good day I reckon'," he says with a mouthful. Silica is too tired to be disgusted by the act.
Nasir ignores the cannibalism and turns to the elf. "Agent Argo, I expect a full report from you sometime soon. Golgotha is a mess and the bodies need to be burned soon. The khagan and his men will stay here awhile and clean the place up. Well, as best as orcs can do."
Argo gives Nasir a thumbs up.
"What now?" asks Sino.
"What else? We're going to the capital, Adriena. The Emperor is eager to meet you."
So ends this year's Fantasy Tabletop Offline. It was a blast to write it! I don't think I've ever been so productive in a month. Chapter 6 to 11 is about 19k words in total with an average of 3k words per chapter. Not bad if I say so myself.
If I were to do it differently, I would have certainly combined chapter 6 and 7 together, which would mean chapter 11 would have been chapter 10. Not very neat, but it is what it is.
Thanks to Tigercry for all her hard work in such a short span of time. And thanks to all those who reviewed, faved, and followed. You know who you are.
Until next year, with a new player and character class. Until then. See you in Aincrad Retold.