Following his declaration, all nine hell's broke loose.
"I told you we would be attacked. Fools..."
They charged at the three by the hundreds. Black bat like wings spread wide and powerful attacks at the ready. He could literally taste the murderous intent being directed at them. From the very top of the Great Red's head, Naruto grinned from within his battle avatar at his begrudging companions words. All the while his skin gradually turned a pale olive and his hair a snow white.
Next to him, Ophis shut her manga and sighed. "I suppose I could spare a minute. You owe me though."
Naruto's grin only widened. "Yeah yeah, I get it. By now, everyone else should have already made themselves known to the lesser known factions, and Kokabiel along with my clones are taking care of things in heaven. Right here is where we do our part. How you might ask? Well, it's simple really, we just have to raise a little..." He paused dramatically, "...hell."
Ophis and Red both groaned.
Naruto pouted at their obvious lack of a sense of humor. "Oh come on! That was gold!" He crossed his arms and huffed when they both ignored him. "Fine! If you won't appreciate my humor, maybe they will!" He jutted a thumb down at the approaching legion as his body gradually vanished in an odd vortex. "Don't forget, we aren't killing!" Was his final command before disappearing completely.
"That's a rather difficult order to follow, these weaklings are like ants, I might accidentally crush one or two."
"Tch, at least you two will be showing off. The most I'll be doing is breathing on them."
A dull smirk overtook Ophis's pale features as she stood up and stretched her arms, her bones popping as a vile, dark aura encompassed her figure. "Oh well, we should probably get this over with."
"Agreed."
Without warning, Naruto suddenly phased into existence in the very center of the attacking devils. Most didn't even notice the grinning blond hovering in-between them all as they zoomed past, their target the Great Red—and when a few finally did, it was already too late. In the blink of an eye two-dozen devils fell, their bodies dropping like flies from the sky and speeding toward the ground below. They didn't even have time to shout before sleep claimed them.
That number doubled within seconds. Then it tripled.
And so it went...
At the same time, beams of pure unholy darkness tore through the faction like they were made of wet paper. Magic circles with dull glowing infinity sign's in the center sporadically overtook the battlefield—numbering in the hundreds. They flashed about and destroyed the opposition as ethereal snakes twisted among one another, passing through body after body. With every devil they touched, that devils power was instantly drained and it fell like all the others.
Naruto pouted, his arms crossed as a smirking Ophis gradually descended toward him. "Hey, that's not fair, Red and I don't have super cool mellow powers like that."
She shrugged. "That's your fault not mine."
The pair was distracted by the chorus of loud cries and a loud boom, a sudden gust of powerful winds sending a hundred bodies tumbling past them. From above the great Red sniffled.
"I sneezed."
Yeah. It was pretty much a one-sided thing.
"This is getting kind of boring so I'll just get on with it. Next phase, initiate!" Naruto exclaimed before turning toward the approaching devils and spreading his arms wide, welcoming them. "Alright, go ahead and take me in! Be gentle though, please." Without putting up a fight he was instantly dog-piled.
Ophis could only shake her head at his antics before she followed behind him and raised her arms in 'surrender'. Unlike him however she wouldn't be letting any these cretins touch her.
Another heaven shaking boom and the winds rushed past them all yet again. "Sorry, I think I'm coming down with something..." Red sighed. "Anyway I did my job. I'm going back home to nap. Let me know how things go, meat-bag, and don't fucking forget. I want my cows."
From within the floating mass of blackend wings and bodies, a single ephemeral hand coated in golden flames broke through and thumbed it up.
Dinner was eventful, exactly as Naruto planned. Even better actually! He had a front row seat to everything! "Hey, can someone loosen these cuffs up a bit? They're kind of constricting my movements."
"Silence scum!" Sirzech cried, his lips pulled into a frown as he pointed a finger at the captured blond. "Who are you to invade our world and make a fool of our kind? Speak, human filth."
Next to the Crimson Satan, Ajuka Beelzebub frowned. "Hey now, don't you think you're laying it on a little too thick there...?" He muttered, trailing off.
No matter how much Sirzech was denying it, Ajuka was almost positive that the redhead had something to do with this strange human presented before them— he Four Great Satan's of the underworld. The highest judges in these lands. Although at the moment only three were present...
Surrounding them were the leaders of each clan, pure and half-blood alike. Whether you were at the arena or not, no one missed the giant red dragon that tore a hole in the sky. Their tall thrones were each fit for a king or queen and arranged in rows with the higher ups towering over them all—and they as devil's wouldn't have it any other way. It was meant to be a sign. A symbol of status and power, because that was all that mattered in the end.
"He doesn't seem like a bad guy. He seems fun, actually! He didn't kill anyone either!" The final Satan and the only girl of the four chirped. Serafall didn't have a problem with this human. He spilled no blood after all.
"Yeah yeah, listen to the walking-wet dream. I'm not gonna hurt anyone, I promise!" The razor sharp grin on his face told them all otherwise.
"You forget, Leviathan," Ajuka said. "While he and his partner didn't kill, they still set us back quite a bit. We could be attacked at any time now and suffer heavy casualties because of them."
"Actually..." Naruto intervened. "You won't have to worry about that. See, I'm only here to make a point. You're not the only place I've visited either. Heaven. Asgard. Olympus. Izanagi and Izanami. The list goes on. They'll all have their own problems for the rest of the week, so take all the time you need!" No one was amused by his cheeriness.
Well, no one but Serafall.
"Explain, impudent human!" Sirzech commanded while dramatically flailing his cape and making a showing of it.
Most everyone in the room—his wife included—deadpanned.
Naruto however was having quite the time. "Foolish devil! You just don't get it do you?! I'm saying that I wanted to get captured! It was all apart of my ingenious plan."
No duh... Was the general thought that crossed the minds of everyone present. Anyone with a brain that watched what happened could see he'd let himself be captured.
He stood up right after his deceleration despite the chains that tied him down and flashed that same predatory grin, radiating an aura of confidence all the while. A mouthful of knives flashing dangerously at every devil that looked his way. With only a tug of his bound arms, the chains that were supposed to hold back even an Ultimate Class shattered outright. He did the same to the ones on his neck and legs before stretching, letting out a small yawn.
By now everyone but the Four had risen from their seats.
"I just wanted to make this very clear. Face to face, in case you didn't hear me the first time." He smiled, and a sudden pressure crashed over the entire room. The hairs on the back of their necks stood at attention, their chairs and the very ground underneath them rattled and shook, and along the walls tiny fissure marks began to appear. A few of the weaker ones actually gasped for air—finding it incredibly difficult to breath at the moment.
"The human world is under my protection." His voice was completely unrecognizable. "Every country, every city, every town, every soul. If I find out any of your kind have forced even one human to abide by that stupid chess game of yours. Well...you may have an army, but me? I am an army." To further enforce his point, Naruto unleashed even more of his murderous intent.
At this point most had already collapsed back onto their thrones, a cold sweat developing over their brow as they desperately fought to maintain composure.
Even Ajuka was finding it rather hard to keep his knees from buckling underneath the immense pressure, to his own great surprise. He'd seen Sirzech's true from, watched the Leviathan freeze entire oceans, and done battle with beings that could have been considered gods in their own right...but this feeling...it was overwhelming.
There was no aura. It was only pure killing intent.
Then it was gone, and so was he.
Their captives sudden disappearance was met with utter outrage as soon as the rest could breath again.
"Do we still have the other one?" Ajuka asked amidst the chaos while suppressing a groan. Certain that he was about to experience a rather annoying headache because of this whole mess.
"Oh?" Serafall answered him. "No. She complained about being bored, broke free and then left."
"The fiend!" Sirzech added.
"Please stop. You're a terrible actor..." Beelzebub trailed off while rubbing his temples. Honestly, he was embarrassed for him.
The Gutsy Toad was busy upon his arrival. Busier than it had ever been actually. He counted a total of nine people present as he warped in, surprising a few of them. "Hello team Toad!" Naruto stated with a happy wave.
"Boss!" Vali flung himself at the blond and landed on his knees, showcasing a form of groveling that could only be defined as an art.
"Naruto-sama!" Kokabiel followed suit. Even going as far as to kiss the ground before him. His choice of maneuver being the infamous sliding-grovel.
Such skill! Vali exclaimed in his thoughts, sparing the conqueror a glance. I didn't even see him stagger once! Could it be? A true and faithful devotee to the boss like him? He grit his teeth. This he would not stand for! He would be the right-hand man who one day overthrows the leader!
"You people make me sick." Raynare commented, her arms crossed over her chest and a frown on her pale face. She caught sight of Issei and flashed him a dangerous smirk. Reveling in the way he cowered at the sight of her. She truly loved breaking men, making them grovel and fear her like dogs. It filled her with such Ecstasy!
"You shouldn't talk down to Naruto-sama." Dohnaseek added.
Next to him, the shortest of what was 'Team Naruto' nodded alongside the taller trench-coat wearing man. "Yeah Raynare, why are you acting so high and mighty when you practically begged him not to ki—" A hand was quickly placed over her mouth, muffling the end of her sentence. Although she still tried to push it out, glaring daggers at the snarling Raynare all the while.
"I-Ignore her, Raynare-sama." The final member of 'Team Naruto', Kalawarner, said while flashing her a nervous smile. Raynare was the strongest out of them and also the one with the shortest temper. It wouldn't do any good for a fight to break out between them in Naruto's home.
Thankfully, Naruto himself intervened. "Ray!" He patted the shorter girls head and grinned, pulling her into a one armed hug shortly after. "It's nice to see you again! I hope you aren't killing random humans behind my back anymore, cos that would be bad!"
The girl fumed at their close proximity but didn't struggle much against it. "Please get off of me, Naruto." She knew better than to throw a tantrum at this point Getting rid of Naruto was next to impossible anyways, it was infinitely easier to just ask him politely.
"Right! Sorry." He grinned sheepishly before turning his attention to the rest of his squad. "Alright team, report!"
"Micheal has received your message loud and clear, Naruto-sama!" Kokabiel began. "My brothers and sisters in heaven won't be an issue. They're not the type to bring harm to humans anyway. Although the Saint System could use a few tweaks here and there..." The fallen shook his head. "My apologies. Anyway, thank you for letting me lead this expedition. It was...nice to see them all again, now that I'm not blinded by my hate." He finished with a genuine smile.
Naruto winked and nodded before moving on to the next team leader.
"Nya, Odin had no problem with abiding by your set rules. He never really bothers with mortal affairs anyway. Too occupied with the women of Asgard to notice. So we're in the clear." Kuroka explained, licking at her hand as she sprawled herself out over his counter, much like a cat would. Her two tails flicking lazily behind her.
"Great! So everything went well! My clone's talked to Izanagi and he said to just leave him out of the bickering of children. Izanami told me she would do anything so long as I stayed with her, so I left my clone there to hang. And everyone else was just too weak to oppose me!" He grinned. "We did a good thing today you guys!"
"If you mean to say that declaring war on every major faction known to man is a good thing, then well, you are beyond saving." Ophis added.
"Aren't we all, my dear little sister? Aren't we all?" He nodded sagely before clapping his hands together. "All right then, we'll call it a quits here. I want you all back here in a week for a status update, except for you Issei, I need you here tomorrow. Till then, I've got some farmers to bribe! Come on Ophis!" The infinite dragon god groaned but vanished alongside him nonetheless.
"That guy is a freak." Raynare whispered once she was sure he was gone.
Next to her, Issei nodded his head. "Try working for him..." He trailed off.
She spared her former victim a glance and stifled a shiver at the completely dead look in his eyes. God, whatever that demon had done to him was a hundred times worse than her blatant murder.
Probably...
The next day came and went, but it wasn't until around noon that Issei decided to show up. The familiar sound of chimes echoed in his ears and for once, Issei found that Naruto was alone within the confines of the Gutsy Toad. Ophis wasn't by his side and neither was Vali groveling at his feet. He wasn't meeting a customer or chatting it up with Sirzech and Azazel.
It was just him, an odd smile on his marked face as he sat behind the blue counter. Just like when they'd first met two months ago.
"Hey, glad you decided to show up."
"Did I really have a choice?"
"Not really." Naruto chirped.
Issei resisted the urge to sigh. He approached the blond and then fell back, not surprised when his bottom hit a soft cushion that most certainly was not there before. "So what do you want, demon? What kind of torture do you have in mind for me today?"
"You're free to go."
Issei blinked.
"Wha—What?"
Naruto didn't grin or gloat or make an offhand reference this time around. He merely smiled, that odd that he'd become so familiar with settling over him like a warm winter coat. "You've come a long way, Issei. I can't do anything else for you from here on out. You've got your power and you found a good reason to use it. From here on out it's all up to you." He wasn't acting crazy or delusional. He wasn't spilling nonsense. He was calm.
This was the first time Issei had ever seen Naruto seem so...human.
"B-But what about my harem? I didn't want to be strong, damn it! I just wanted my harem!" He cried, a bit letdown. "You killed me and turned me into a devil! You can't just toss me away now—"
"—You'll get your harem by remaining a devil." He interrupted his would-be rant. "Let's be honest here, this is the twenty-first century kid. No girl is into stuff like that. Hell, one woman is already enough in my opinion. But if you stay with Rias and her friends, you'll become stronger without a doubt, and more importantly you'll rise in the ranks. If you manage to become a High-class devil, you'll be able to achieve your ultimate dream legally! In a way, I guess you could say I already did my part, neh?" He winked, a half-smirk overtaking the previous smile.
This time Issei did deadpan.
"No you didn't. You've clearly been totally winging it this entire time, haven't you?"
Naruto had the decency to look a little ashamed. "Hehehe, yeah, you got me. This isn't some magical shop that grants desires or anything. I'm just a lonely guy who wanted a little attention, that's all."
At that response, Issei's brow twitched.
Unbelievable.
"You really are one peculiar shopkeeper..."
"Oh, we did the thing!"
Issei didn't even bother with trying to make sense of what he meant by that. In all honesty he had a feeling that this entire time it was something along those lines. Yet, somehow, someway, it still worked out for Naruto because indeed, if what he said was true, than Issei could get the harem he's always dreamed of. Drawing in a deep breath, the at one-time human let out a long sigh.
"I suppose I've already come this far. I don't think I could ever live a regular life after all of this."
Naruto shrugged. "Sorry Issei, but you were never meant for a regular life in the first place." He let the words sink in and settle, and for a moment, the two only sat in silence.
Until Issei spoke up with a nervous stutter. "C-Can I still come back? H-Here that is, c-can I still visit?" He wasn't sure why he asked, only that he did. And he didn't regret it.
Naruto blinked and then eyed the blushing teen for a split-second, before grinning in response. "Of course! You're welcome to come by here anytime! Although I'm surprised you would want to. Ophis and Red both bet me that you would never talk to me again after I let you go." Issei looked a bit offended at that. "Hey, come on now, don't give me that look. I did get you killed on a weekly basis, you know? It would have been the natural response," he shrugged, "either way I'm forty bucks richer."
Issei would have questioned why the Great Red and the infinite dragon both carried cash on them, but of course, he knew better...
"Before you kick me out in some crazy way, I want to thank you. I feel...I feel like a better me. I'm proud of who I am right now, and I guess that's what I really wanted in the end. So, yeah, in a way you really did do your job." Issei flashed him a thumbs up and grinned in a familiar fashion, with his teeth bared and looking extra pointy for all the world to see. "But there's no doubt that I'm going to get stronger, and one day I'll be stronger than even you! And when that day comes I'm going to pay you back for the hell you put me through, tenfold, believe it!"
Naruto instantly snapped his fingers and Issei suddenly found himself swimming in a nearby lake. He blinked once and then screamed at the top of his lungs while Ddraig's laughter echoed within his ears.
Meanwhile, Naruto was clutching at his chest, a pained look on his face as Issei's last words haunted him.
...believe it...believe it...believe it...
At the same time, his chimes sounded. When Naruto cut his moping and looked up to see who his latest customer was, his blue met a pair of wide green eyes. It was a girl—a nun by the looks of her—with long flowing butterscotch blond hair and a warm smile on her lithe features. Idly, Naruto noted it was probably the most innocent smile he'd ever seen.
"H-Hello...My name is Asia." She introduced herself, "I was wondering if you had a map here that I could purchase. I'm a little lost you see."
Naruto stared. Asia stared back. This lasted for a whole half-minute.
Then he grinned. "Welcome to my shop, Asia-chan. As it just so happens I do have a map...but, it'll cost ya!"
And so, the cycle begins anew.