TRIGGER WARNINGS: The following themes are in this fic: self-harm, addiction, homophobia, abuse, abandonment, self-destructive behaviors and thoughts, suicidal thoughts. If you are not into serious angst, depression and dark fics, feel free to skip this one.

Chapter 10: The Loss: POV Blaine

Blaine woke to his 6am alarm, and even though he had a headache, and felt sick to his stomach, he got up. He was ready to get the hell out of Ohio and back to CBU, where he would know he wouldn't have to face the brainwashing that was conversion therapy and people thinking he was diseased. He had scheduled his flight for 11am with meant he'd have to be in a car and out of Bellfontaine by 8am. He didn't even care to shower, and just threw on some black skinny jeans, and a black thick turtleneck sweater and his white sneakers. The outfit was simple and comfortable which is what he wanted because he felt like shit.

He headed downstairs to the kitchen to grab a glass of water and some Tylenol and sat down at the breakfast table to take it, feeling slightly dizzy. He knew he would have to fast for today and thought of how disgusting yesterday was. His mother came into the kitchen, and started to make coffee, not even caring to say good morning to him. He then saw his father come in and saw as they both fixed their coffee. They then sat down with him, which he knew would only mean one thing, "A Talk".

"A Talk" in his house usually meant trying to convert him and persuade him into going to another conversion camp or therapy. It was also his father's opportunity to discuss his "shortcomings" and what a disappointment he was to the family. Blaine had hoped that all his focus on school and work would've finally paid off to at least avoid one of these "talks" but after the situation from last night, he knew it would be coming, and was hoping to get the hell out of there before they could have the chance. His father was now sitting directly across from him and looking at him as though he just couldn't understand what he was.

William Nico Anderson is an Italian American was birthed in Chicago and had been raised in the Catholic church and when he was 8 years old his family moved to Bellfontaine so his father could work on creating gold crosses and rosaries for the catholic parishes in Ohio. Williams father soon amassed a large amount of wealth which he inherited. He had been taught from the youngest of ages that men where the superior sex, and were meant to be masculine, tough, and dominant. Upon getting married to his wife, he had the expectation that he would have at least 5 children in order to keep the family line strong and fulfill the catholic tradition of larger families. But after 10 years, his wife had only been able to have Blaine. She had miscarriage after miscarriage and after her last one, she had lost too much blood to continue trying. Blaine ended up being his only child, and he soon noticed that God had given him a child that was different.

Blaine was never masculine. He was a sensitive, and emotional young child, and never wanted to play in the dirt, or go hunting. He was so different, and it frustrated him. He needed to have a son that would meet expectations, and Blaine never met them. In middle school when the incident occurred, he had gone through a period of time where he just couldn't fathom why god had given him a faggot for a son. He couldn't live with it, and soon decided to ship Blaine off to conversion camps over the summer, and Dalton during the school year. He wouldn't have to come face to face with his own disgrace and nightmare.

He would often give Blaine these talks with the hopes of encouraging him as an adult to make the right choices. He held onto Blaine by paying his college tuition and his living expenses with the hopes that Blaine would redeem his sins and pay off his debts after what he had put him and his wife through. But after last night, he realized that although Blaine seemed to take the prayers in stride, he knows deep down that Blaine has not changed. William had hoped that Blaine would have found a nice girl in college but instead he supposedly spent the entire time "single". He also knew that Blaine was doing everything right, but it wasn't to change his ways but instead to hide his sins. William was done with it. He was done with his son and felt that it was time to cut him off, give a lump sum, and tell him to get the hell out and stay the hell away from him and his wife. Blaine was no son of his.

"Blaine, I'm going to say this once and only once, so I hope you are listening. Your mother and I have decided that we no longer want you. God has blessed us with a beautiful home, and wonderful friends. And we have come to the realization that you are the embodiment of what Satan can do when you choose not to repent. You son are ill, and diseased and refuse to help yourself. And because you have made that choice, we have made the choice to ask you to leave here and never come back. We will be giving you the money in your trust fund, and that will be the last of the money you will receive from us. We are taking you off of all assets. We don't want to see or hear from you again."

Blaine was shaking. In part because he couldn't believe what he was hearing and in part because he felt sick. Blaine knew though that he couldn't fall apart here, and not right now. So instead he took the high road and would attempt to remain composed, just like he always had.

"I respect your choices. I would like to thank you both for allowing me to receive that money. And mother, I will miss you. Father, I would like to take the opportunity while we are saying our goodbyes to tell you that I was never diseased. I'm not sick. I'm not ill. I am just me. And the fact that you have chosen to attempt to change me over the years has only made me into a person who has the will to not fail. You William, are sad. You know what? Fuck you!"

Blaine was honestly shocked as he was giving his little goodbye speech and thought, he should just keep going. Why not? Fuck remaining composed. It's not like he was going to see them again. "Yeah William Nico Anderson, FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! And you! [pointing to his mother] YOU need to stop! Just fucking stop being the perfect housewife. Not once. Not once did you ever stand up for yourself! Not once did you stand up for me! And that's fucking sad because I know deep down, that no matter how fucked up or fucking disgusting or fucking diseased I might be, you fucking love me. And its fucking shame that you'll never see me again. Goodbye, and may you both fucking rest in peace."

Blaine got up from the table, slightly out of breath, and grabbed his luggage from the corner of the kitchen and left. His car wasn't going to be there for another 30 mins, but he didn't care, he was fucking walking out. He was leaving and not going to cry about it. Blaine Devon Anderson, the boy who had spent his entire college career trying to impress and be perfect, was always the disease that needed to be eradicated. He was done trying to impress