DECEMBER 13 MONDAY

Something was bugging James when they were having breakfast. And it wasn't his broken Ziggy Stardust.

"Something seems to be bugging you," Sirius remarked. "Is it your broken Ziggy Stardust?"

"Something is. It's like... Everything that has happened this month just feels wildly inconsistent and random in the worst way."

"I know what you mean. Do you ever get the feeling, that a period in your life was rewritten in great haste?"

"Yeah that's exactly how I feel!"
It was probably those teen hormoons.

"Like some kind of anti-deja vu..," Remus mumbled.

"Yeah."

"It is very normal to feel that way, when Jupiter is in the seventh house...No, hang on..."

"The moon is in the sevent house, and Jupiter aligns with Mars."
Remus looked in Astrologer's Digest.

"Why do you have that?" James asked.

"Don't ask me why I have it, ask me what it says."

"Don't tell me what to ask."

"The Breadscalibur is going to be stolen from the Museum of Relics!"

"Well that's good that it's in the horosope because then they can hire extra security."

"Not how destiny works."

James arose, nobly.

"But we owe it to ourselves to try!"
"Try what?" Sirius asked.

"To stop those thiefs."

And so it was decided. They just hoped, they could still get into their formal shorts.

xxx

That night, at the Museum of Relics. The two gentleman thiefs, cooks and renaissance wizards, Rastaban and Rodolph Lestrange, were ogling the glass case with the Breadscalibur. They were dressed in all black, wearing black gloves, and the venetian masks that were typical for the members of Tojours Fromage.

"Here is the Breadscalibur," said Rastaban, the older of the two.

"I have the bubblegum and diamond," said Rodolph. "But mon frere?"

"Quoi is it?"

"Can you just give me a recap? You know I like a good recap."

"Very well. We need to get the Breadscalibur and give it to Grethel Hansen, so she can cut the horns off Goaty Man. We're doing this to ruin Christmas."

"But why couldn't we just make our young cousin Reggie do this? Sure he lost Mordag but he did get it back, and he did free Grethel Hansen."

"Lucky shot! With the Breadscalibur we just can't afford ANY risks! Now let's do it."
They placed the gum on the glass, and stuck the diamond in it.

"Bubblegum," Rastaban mumbled. "I never knew, how useful it was, before."

They were just about to bash the glass case with a fire extinguisher, when a rubber chicken hit Rastaban in the back of the head and knocked him out.

"Misman Eggnog!"

Misman Eggnog, Sirius, of the superhero team The Mischief Managers, came rolling into the relic hall on roller skates.

"Turkey, deux points!"
Rodolph turned around and was electroshocked. He was shaking, like he was having a bath with electric appliances, and his skeleton flashed like in the cartoons.

"Misman Shocko-Hoops," electic currents flooded out of James's open palms until the second Fro-mage fell over, unconscious. He blew out his smoking palms. "What's the buzz?"

He couldn't remember if he had used that one before.

James and Sirius looked down at the fallen fro-mages.

"Two more would have been nice," said Sirius.

Then two death eaters came running into the relic hall.

"It's those horrible Mischief Managers!" cried a lady death eater.

"You have interfered for the very last time!" cried a man death eater.

They both had their wands drawn.

James and Sirius stepped aside for they didn't want to hog all the villains.

Remus opened his snake-nut can. A bubblegum snake came out and ate one of the death eaters.

"Misman...Pffftt..."

"Macadamia!" James whispered.

"Misman Macadamia..." Thinking. Thinking. "Chestnuts of steele."

Apologetic shrug and shameful head-shake.

And facepalm.

James and Sirius however thought it could have been a pretty good catchphrase, had he had the chestnuts of steele to deliver it with more umph.

"You done?" asked the last standing death eater. "I know spells that can kill all three of you at the same time!"

She didn't see Peter behind her. He squirted her in the back with asses milk from his boom apron until she felt a tickle and wetness.

"What the-!"
She got asses milk in her mouth-hole.

"Nooo! Lactose intolerance runs in my familyyyy!" she cried and passed out from lactose intolerance.

"Misman Latte! Ass-kick au lait!"
Again, really not that bad at all. James and Sirius wondered, if perhaps the mask helped those chestnuts of steele come out a little.

"Good work, mismen!" said James and rolled to the glass case with the Breadscalibur.

Sirius bashed it with his rubber chicken and grabbed it, replacing it with the replica.