Lost Chapter 11

"Who did it?" asked Mr. Darcy.

Col. Fitzwilliam put up his hands. "Hold on, Darcy; we have to set the scene for Georgie." Turning to Georgiana, and ignoring Mr. Darcy, Col. Fitzwilliam continued. "The day of the compromise Mr. and Mrs. Collins, and their guests, Miss Maria Lucas, the sister of Mrs. Collins, and Miss Elizabeth, were invited to Rosings for tea. Miss Elizabeth did not appear and we were told she was ill; whereupon, Darcy, without a word to anyone, disappeared. Well, of course, his absence was immediately noticed by Aunt Catherine. Inquiries were made and her butler reported that Darcy was last seen walking in the direction of the rectory at Hunsford. Well, our dear aunt, sussing out the lay of the land, raised the hue and cry and we were off in pursuit of Darcy. By an unfortunate coincidence, Anne's phaeton had been brought round to the front, the groom having mistakenly thought that Anne would be taking it out, and so Aunt Catherine, Anne and Mrs. Jenkinson piled into it and I was conscripted to drive it. Meanwhile, Mr. and Mrs. Collins, and Miss Lucas, were scurrying to the rectory but we soon passed them and left them in our dust.

"When we made it to the rectory, I took my time handing the ladies down, hoping to allow our putative hosts to catch up. I deliberately left Aunt Catherine for last and was soundly abused by her for doing so. Without waiting for the Collins, although by that time they were but yards from the rectory, Aunt Catherine barged in, running down a poor maid in doing so. She led us down the hall and threw open the door to the drawing room. We found Miss Elizabeth sitting and Darcy standing about five feet in front of her. They were quite surprised to see us. Now Georgie, I will pause in my story so your brother can us what he was doing in that closed room with Miss Elizabeth. Darcy, the floor is yours."

"Well – well, I was there to inquire after her health" said Mr. Darcy.

Col. Fitzwilliam shook his head. "Darcy, you can lie to yourself; you can lie to everyone else; but you must be honest with us. Now the truth. Why were you there?"

"I have already confessed my infatuation to you. I was still in the grips of it then and so" Mr. Darcy sighed "and so I was going to propose to her."

"But you didn't" said Georgiana.

"All I had time to say was 'You must allow me' when" here Mr. Darcy pointed at his cousin "Col. Fizzle here and his troops burst through the door."

"What were you going to say?" asked Georgiana. "Knowing you, you must have had it all planned out."

When Mr. Darcy hesitated, Col. Fitzwilliam prodded him. "Come Darcy, confession is good for you."

Mr. Darcy shrugged. "I was going to tell her how ardently I admired and loved her and then I was going to deal with the arguments pro et contra."

Georgiana sighed. "Ardently. How romantic."

"Wait a minute" said Col. Fitzwilliam. "What do you mean contra arguments? I can see the pro arguments, you were going to blind her with all the jewels you were going to shower on her, but contra? You were really going to warn her about now stiff, grim, and dour you are?"

"No, I wanted to be honest with her. I think honesty is important in a marriage."

"So, when your wife asks you if her new dress makes her look fat, you're going to tell her what?" asked Col. Fitzwilliam.

Georgiana swotted her cousin on the arm. "Quit teasing William, let him finish" said Georgiana.

"All I was going to say to her was that I was happy to marry her even though her connections were poor and her family wanted propriety."

Col. Fitzwilliam hooted. "How romantic indeed. Georgie, you should start writing all this all down; we've the makings of a first-rate farce. We'll call it "Darcy's Downfall'."

Mr. Darcy stood up. "If that is how you are going to …"

Col. Fitzwilliam pointed at the door. "Go off and sulk. If you can't stand to be teased you would never have lasted as husband to Miss Elizabeth." He turned to Georgiana. "She dearly liked to tease. At Rosings she teased Darcy about how he was ill qualified to recommend himself to strangers."

"I did not sulk then."

"No, you were a mooncalf then, but I'll tell you that wears off fast once you're married."

"Says the marriage expert who has never been married."

"Enough you two" said Georgiana. "Richard, tell William what your mother discovered about the compromise."

"Not yet, Georgie" said Col. Fitzwilliam. "I want to know whom the two of you think did the dirty deed. We all agree that, given the details that were published, that it must of have been someone who was there." His cousins both nodded. "Of course, neither of you believe that I had anything to do with it." Georgie nodded immediately but Mr. Darcy stared at him for a long eight beats before he nodded. "As for the rest, I believe the answer to the question of cui bono will give us the culprit."

"What do you mean?" asked Georgiana.

Mr. Darcy answered her. "He means that whomever it was that benefited most from calling the compromise was the one that did it."

"So, we can agree that it wasn't Miss Elizabeth, whom, given what happened at the wedding, clearly didn't want to marry Darcy, and Aunt Catherine, whose plan to marry Anne to Darcy would be forestalled. In line with that, I think we must eliminate both Mr. Collins and Mrs. Jenkinson, both of whom live in abject fear of our aunt, not to mention whatever servants of the Collins were in the house" said Col. Fitzwilliam. "And also the very timid Miss Lucas, whom wouldn't dare. That leaves us with three suspects."

Georgiana was counting on her fingers. "Three?" she said. "Only Anne and Mrs. Collins were left."

"You forget Darcy" said Col. Fitzwilliam.

"What?" said both Georgiana and Mr. Darcy simultaneously.

"He wanted to marry Miss Elizabeth. By his own confession, he was going to propose to her, and at the time he must have thought she would accept, so a compromise would give him what he wanted.

"As for the other two; Mrs. Collins would benefit because her good friend would be married to a very rich man whom had a number of livings to bestow; plus, given the attributes Darcy has given her, she probably would have thought she was doing her friend a great favour by marrying her to such a prince of a man.

"And Anne, well she would benefit as she would no longer be afflicted with her mother's marital ambitions.

"So, whom do you think did it?"

"Mrs. Collins" said Georgiana. "She wanted to help her friend."

Mr. Darcy thought for a moment and then said "I agree. Mrs. Collins knew about the Bennets' situation vis-à-vis the entail. Miss Elizabeth marrying to me would help the whole family."

The Darcys stared at their cousin, waiting for the denouement. He grinned at them, took a letter out of the inner pocket of his jacket and waved at them. "This letter cost my mother 37 pounds, 7 shillings and 6 pence and she expects to be reimbursed. Don't ask me why the odd amount, she wouldn't tell me. Anyway, she knows someone, who knows someone, who knows the editor of that gossip rag that published news of the compromise." He showed them the address on the letter, that of the newspaper.

"This is what the letter says:

To the editor:

Last Wednesday, the 25th day of March, Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy, of Pemberley, in Derbyshire, was found in a closed room at the rectory in Hunsford, Kent with Miss Elizabeth Bennet, of Longbourn, in Hertfordshire. There was no chaperone. They were cavorting when they were found. When confronted by his aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, of Rosings Park, in Kent, Mr. Darcy acknowledged that he had compromised Miss Bennet.

A witness"

Georgiana said "I hesitate to ask, but what does 'cavorting' mean?"

"It sounds more salacious than it is; apparently it is a Yankee word for dancing and the like" said Col. Fitzwilliam.

"Let me see that" said Mr. Darcy. He took the letter and examined it. He knew the paper – it was the very expensive hot-pressed paper Lady Catherine favoured. And he recognized the handwriting – it was Anne's. She had not had the benefit of as much time with governesses as she should have. Her handwriting was childish. He gave the letter to Georgiana.

Georgiana confirmed his conclusion. "This is Anne's handwriting."

"Aunt Catherine thought she had put a tight lid on any talk of compromise; Anne pried the lid off and threw it away. She didn't really want to marry you Darcy" said Col. Fitzwilliam.

"She could have just told me; we could have presented a united front to Aunt Catherine" said Mr. Darcy.

"Now that your wedding didn't proceed you can still do that" said Col. Fitzwilliam.

"I do not think I could talk to Anne now, for fear of what I may say to her" said Mr. Darcy.

"What are you going to do to her?" asked Georgiana.

"Nothing." Mr. Darcy shrugged. "What would be the point?"

Next: What have the Bingleys been up to?