Bout night, the Saturday after Jason met Ben. This was an away game, and normally, I'd ride in the bus with the other girls, but Ben was coming and that meant I got to ride in his suuuuuupppper sweet, super comfortable, super luxury Infinity SUV. I loved when Ben drove; he always drove like he was Idris Elba in an action movie where Idris Elba drives cars quickly and with competence. He also had seat warmers, and it was early spring, and they were nice.
We were playing the Garden State Roller Girls tonight, and it wasn't a real far drive; we figured it'd take about an hour to get there. So we had time to chat.
"So you like this dude." Ben said. He wasn't asking.
I nodded, unsure of what else to say.
"So what's the deal with him?"
"Whatd'ya mean?"
"He's obviously got a key. Why are you keeping him hidden?"
"What do you mean, keeping him hidden? You met him!"
"Well, yeah, but like – out places."
"You literally had dinner with the two of us out at a restaurant two nights ago." I rolled my eyes, hard. "Just say it, Benny," I said with a smile.
"What?"
"Whatever it is you want to say but are too chickenshit to verbalize."
"Oooh, them's fightin' words, girl!"
I laughed out loud. "Come ON, Ben. Spill it. WHAT?"
"Why haven't you asked him out?"
I made a face. "He doesn't seem that interested in it."
"That's it?"
"Well, I mean, I slept with Celia a couple weeks ago, and he was cool-ish with it,"
"Wait, WHAT? You who now?"
"She's on another derby team in Bludhaven, and an EMT, so I see her a lot through work."
"And you fucked her."
"Well, and with vigor," I said smiling.
"That's my girl," he laughed. "And Jason…rolled with it?"
"I think? I mean, Celia all but dragged me by my hair out of a bout after she and Jason had discussed if I was a 'free agent', and Celia slept over, and Jason showed up the next morning to make us breakfast. Then he came with me to the laundromat to wash the sheets. That's when you texted."
"So, wait, that was LAST WEEKEND?"
"Yeah."
"You meet the most interesting people. Y'all slept together yet?"
"Nope. You literally walked in on our first kiss."
"No joke."
"No joke."
"You planning on sleeping with anyone besides him in the near future?"
"No." I looked at Ben, narrowing my eyes. "What did y'all talk about after I left?"
"You talk to him about 11th grade yet?"
"I told him you helped me through a big thing. That's it."
"Well, he knows you almost killed that motherfucker, and I intervened. I didn't tell him why, though."
"Why you intervened, or the other part?"
"Any of those parts."
"I appreciate it."
"Anything for you, Tabs."
"I know."
We got to the bout around the same time as the rest of the team, and all things considered, everything went pretty smoothly (We had a couple girls that couldn't make it, so I was going to end up doing double jams, which was unusual). Jersey Girls, man, don't fuck with 'em. I ended up with MASSIVE bruises everywhere, a split lip, and a cut across my left cheek.
Thankfully, Ben has leather seats. We talked video game/nerd shit on the way home, and by the time he dropped me off and saw me to the door, it was past 1 am. I didn't expect to see Jason when I got home, because I never saw him Saturday nights; he said he had family night at the Manor on Saturdays. I found it curious that Tim was often home on Saturday nights, but it never seemed important enough to bring up to either one of them.
Once inside my apartment, I stripped down to underwear, leaving the rest on the floor, and went to shower. The hot water felt good on sore muscles, and tender bruises. I put on a robe when I got out, toweled off my hair, and went in the kitchen to get something to eat. I pulled out some Jason leftovers and popped them in the microwave, when I heard tapping on the windows that led to my fire escape. I grabbed a butterfly knife from one of my cabinet drawers, and walked around the kitchen counter that was parallel to the back of the couch.
Standing on my fire escape was none other than Red Hood, himself.
I rubbed a hand across my eyebrows and clenched my jaw. Through the window I yelled "Are you fucking serious?"
"Can I come in?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Are you dying? Are you actively dying, or in need of immediate medical attention?"
"No, but-"
"Read the sign, asshole." I pointed at a sign that hung in the window above my "Bat Bucket". It read 'A RN lives in this unit. Think twice about B&E – I could be the one thing that stands between you and death the next time you're at Gotham General"
"But I ASKED." He sounded offended. "I want to talk to you."
"You won't leave until you do, I have that about right?"
"Yep."
"Gimme a minute to change and grab dinner."
"Oh, clothes aren't necessary for this talk-" he said, then I flipped the butterfly knife open and closed, open and closed, open and closed to emphasize I knew how to use it. "Point taken."
I stalked to the bedroom and pulled on a pair of yoga pants and a cozy sweater, and slippers.
When I stalked back into the living room, I grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch, and wrapped myself in it. I pulled the Rubbermaid container of leftovers from the microwave and shoved a fork in it, then unlocked the window closest window to the kitchen (the furthest window from where Red was standing) and maneuvered myself through.
"Alright, once is a glitch, second time is coincidence, but this" I gave him a sour look "was deliberate. WHY ARE YOU AT MY FUCKING HOUSE, RED. WHAT DO YOU WANT." I was shoving stir-fry angrily into my mouth, which was a shame, because it was fucking delicious.
"Jesus, beautiful, why are you so hostile?"
"Because each interaction with any of the Bat Family increases my chance of getting caught in the fucking crossfire exponentially. I work in an ER, asshole, your people make my job a LOT harder."
"Hey now, I make sure my victims end up in the morgue – not YOUR department."
I took a bite of stir-fry and considered that. He was not wrong.
"Ok, I give you that. You-" I said pointing at him with my fork. "You-are the exception. But that doesn't make it any less dangerous to hang out around you. Please just tell me what you want so you will leave."
"You ok?" he asked.
"ARE YOU SERIOUS."
"You didn't have a bout tonight. I looked for you."
"It was an away game."
"That why you look like you got in a bar fight?"
"Why are you suddenly so concerned with my safety and well-being?"
"Your hostility has grown on me."
"Ok, and?"
"You make out with anyone new tonight?"
"No."
"What, no one caught your fancy?"
"No."
"Are you available for making out?"
"What, really? Sure, yeah. Take that mask off, Red." I said it as a challenge. "You take that mask off, you can come right in."
"Ooh, you devious woman. You can't trap me that easy!"
"I'M NOT TRYING TO TRAP YOU AT ALL I WANT YOU TO GO AWAY."
"No, but I'm serious. Are you available?"
"Didn't we just go over that? I see you without your mask, I know who you are, I know who you are, you'll probably just end up killing me, etcetera. I'd like to avoid that, if possible. I'm kind of enjoying life right now."
"Is that so. Any reason in particular?"
"There's a person."
"What, like a boyfriend?"
"Answer unclear, ask again later."
"Wait, really? You're not sure if he or she is a boyfriend/girlfriend?"
"That is correct. Dude shows up, cooks, sometimes we make out, he sleeps over, then leaves. Wash/Rinse/Repeat."
"That sounds like a boyfriend to me."
"He has never indicated he would like to apply for that particular position. To be honest, I'm not even sure we're dating. He hasn't really indicated a preference for monogamy."
"No?" I swear to GOD I heard amused disbelief in his tone. Like he wanted to argue with me.
"You got something to say?"
"Me? Well. I mean, it sounds like he's pretty into you."
"I'm currently getting romance advice from someone who kills people for a living."
"Only the bad ones. So, you like this guy?"
"I do."
"Like, a lot, or is there wiggle room…?"
"You trying to move in on his territory? I mean, how would that even work? That mask during sex? Not sexy. Can't kiss you with it on, so that's right out. I mean, I bet under that get up you're 100% made out of knives. That'd be too pokey to cuddle with."
He laughed out loud, and I froze. That was Jason's laugh. I'd know it anywhere, even with a voice distorter. Red must have noticed something was up, because he asked if I was ok.
"Yeah, I'm just cold. You know what, just come in. I'm freezing."
"What, really?"
"Yes," I said, sighing. I slipped back through the window, and Red followed. I wanted to watch him move. I wanted to watch him sit. "I guess I can't really offer you anything to drink, right?"
"Nope."
"Couch is there, kitchen's there, help yourself to whatever someone wearing a mask can ingest, if anything at all. Bathroom's right there," I said pointing to everything. I went and sat on the couch, watching him.
"Where do you live?" I asked him.
"Do you really expect me to tell you that?" He took a barstool and straddled it backwards. Jason had never done that here, but his build was awfully similar.
"Not like the address, but like – a house? A bunker? An abandoned missile silo?"
"None of the above."
"How'd you get to be Red Hood, anyway? You're part of the Bat Family, right?"
"Tangentially."
"So how'd you get to be Red Hood?"
"I died and was resurrected."
"Dude, if you're not going to take this seriously, then what's the point?" I rolled my eyes. "Who's your least favorite member of the BatFam?"
"Nightwing."
"Why?"
"Guy's a big bag of dicks."
"When's the last time you had sex?"
"Couple months ago. You?"
"Last weekend."
"The not-boyfriend?"
"No. You remember the chick who kissed me the last time you were squatting on my car?"
"Vaguely."
"Her."
"What do you want?"
"Huh?"
"What do you want? Out of life, with this other dude, where do you see yourself in five years?"
"Wow. Ok. Wow. In order. Out of life? Like, dream job? I think I'd like to be a medical director or whatever an NP-C could be at the Thomas and Martha Wayne Foundation. I'm an LCSW, as well as an NP-C, and specialize in the treatment and counseling of sexual abuse survivors. I know the Thomas Wayne foundation has clinics that specialize in sexual abuse, and I think I could help."
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why do you think you could help?"
"Because I was raped in high school. It takes one to know one, right? You'd be amazed at how much difference it makes when I'm the one doing the rape kit, instead of another female nurse who has not had that experience."
There was nothing but crickets from the other side of the couch.
"Yeah, that's usually a conversation killer. So. With the not-boyfriend. Honestly, I'm taking that day by day. I don't want to get my hopes up, because I'm never sure if I'm going see him. He just shows up."
"But you like him."
"I do."
"Could you see a future with him, you think?"
"I really don't want to look that far ahead without knowing if I'm just another stamp on his passport, y'know?"
"Ok, but what about daydreams."
"All right, fine. Well, we'd have fucking gorgeous children, I can tell you that. And they'd be goddamn SMART."
"Oh yeah?"
"Like, not to toot my own horn, but I'm smart. But not-boyfriend? He's a goddamn genius. Like scary smart. I don't think he wants people to know it, but he is."
"Ok, so you'd have brilliant, beautiful kids with this dude. But, is that all you want? Just….kids?"
"Is there more to want? I don't understand this question."
"Like, would you want to get married, or no, or what?"
"I mean, eventually, yes I would like to marry someone, the right someone, but I really can't say if I want to be not-boyfriend; we haven't been hanging out that long."
"Why'dya like him?"
"Because he's funny, and smart, and clever, and thoughtful. It does not hurt that on a 1-10 scale of hotness, he rates at like a 1,000."
"He a good kisser?"
"I would be unable to describe how good he is without being pornographic about it."
"That good, huh?"
"Better." I stopped, and narrowed my eyes at Red. "Do you not have villains to apprehend? I mean, I know I'm pretty captivating, but like…don't you have a job to do?"
"I suppose I should get back to work," he said, sounding disappointed. "One parting thought – you ever think that maybe he thinks you don't want to be monogamous?"
"Huh. No. I had not. Huh. I figured, the amount of pussy this dude could get just by breathing in someone's direction, one day he's gonna wake up and realize I'm just…ordinary."
"There is absolutely nothing ordinary about you." It was the way he said it. Jason hadn't said that exact thing to me, not exactly – but it was Red's cadence, his tone and the flow of the sentence.
I know who Red Hood is.