DECEMBER 13 THURSDAY

It came to pass that James woke up first, some fifteen minutes or so before the alarm clocks were set to go off. He rummaged through his spectacles drawer after his morning-glasses when he found sugar zit pops in a small paper bag that had been there since Halloween.

He switched to his mischief glasses real quick. Then he gathered all the alarm clocks and chucked them out the window, then he took the pillow off Remus's face and began to shake him.

"Wake up! Wake up!"

They were standing by Sirius's bed a moment later. Sirius was snoring under his Beauty Sleeping eye-mask.

"Look what I forgot I had!" James whispered. "Sugar zit pops! Let's plop them all over his face!"

Remus was still rubbing sleep from his eyes with one hand. James forced-open his other hand and poured him half the sugar zit pops.

"Padfoot is in for the shock of his life! Now we must have a light touch!"

James began to plop all his sugar zits on Sirius's face.

"Plop! Plop! Plop! Come on, you plop some, too!"
"No," said Remus and put down his sugar zit pops. "No, no, it's all wrong."

"Wrong? How can it be wrong?"

Remus removed all the sugar zit pops James had plopped on Sirius's face. He was ruining his art! What was wrong with him!

"They're too many," said Remus. "Too many and it just looks like a disease. It's too suspicious. You plop them all on his face and it just looks too fake."

He had one sugar zit pop in his hand and he contemplated where to place it.

He placed it on Sirius's chin. Sirius began to move around and show signs of waking up and they ran, ran back to their beds.

X

Sirius didn't turn up at transfiguration class. James and Remus, and Peter, found him in the little gents room in the North Hall, wearing a scarf over the bottom half of his face and weeping to a mirror.

"My life is over!"

His head fell in the sink as he bemoaned his ruined life.

James tried not to laugh.

"What's wrong?"

Sirius looked at him with runny mascara and sniffed pitifully.

"Look!"
He tucked down his scarf.

The wonderful thing about sugar zit pops was that the more you poked them, the redder and more swollen they became. Tears welled from Sirius's eyes.

"So what!" said James, wondering how far he ought to take this joke now.

Sirius tucked his scarf back over his chin.

"I don't want you to fight over my things when I'm gone so I've decided to leave you my records, Prongs. Moony can have all my clothes as well as all my cats. I want Paint It Black to be played at my funeral."

"Aren't you being overly dramatic?" Remus asked.

Sirius glared at him.

"YOU don't know what it's like to be cursed, Moony! YOU just have NO idea!"
Sirius turned back to the mirror, gently poking his pimple.

"I can't stop picking at it! Ugghhh I know you're not supposed to. But I just can't be seen like this!"
He made himself stop and turned back to Remus.

"Do you have a knife?"

"I do but I don't think I should let you have it," Remus replied, uncertain.

Sirius's nose was back in the mirror, and his fingers were back on his chin.

"It's over. It can't get any worse now. Oh sod it!"
He ripped off the sugar zit and was very surprised it came off so easily. He felt his smooth perfect chin. He looked at the sugar zit in his hand. He glared at James.

"YOU put me up to this!"
"It was Moony, actually. Credit where credit's due!"
Sirius looked at them both, angry.

"Oh that's nice! Did you think it would be fun to ruin my life! I thought you were my friends!"
"And we thought you could take a joke!"
"So our friendship was just a joke, then! Thanks for letting me know!"
"You're being ridiculous!"

"Oh am I?"

Sirius's trousers played Sympathy For the Devil.

"Excuse me!"
He turned away, took out his smart-glass and put it to his ear.

"Hello? Fine. No. Nothing I'm just... spraying hateful anti-mudblood sentiments like everywhere. I'm not. Well actually I am but it's ok because I only ever shirk Defense Against the Spooky Things class. Ok I won't then. You want to ask me about my friend situation?" Glare over shoulder. "Well sadly, I don't appear to have any friends! What? If I'm being bullied?" Glare over shoulder. "Yes! Yes I am being bullied! I'm being bullied all the time! The guys I thought were my friends just told me it was all a joke!" Sirius lowered his voice again. "Well actually I'm not being bullied because only weaklings are bullied but you know what I mean. No really. Would it?" Glare over shoulder. "Well in that case I am being bullied! By these twats! What? Do I want to change house? Yes if it means I won't have to deal with these twats! Ok bye."

Sirius closed his smart-glass and put it back in his pocket.

"Who was it?" James asked.

"Sales people."