Chuck's eyes flitted back and forth between the wide eyes of his father and the narrowed one's of his unicorn. "Fuckn' shit. Will someone spill the god damn marbles already?!"
"It's beans, Chuck. " Sarah mumbled as she refused to break eye contact with Chuck's hot dad.
"They could be turd pebbles for all I care, will someone just please, tell me what the fuck is going on?!"
Hartley ignored his son as he continued to stare at Sarah. "You do realize that the entire city's police force is looking for you, right?"
"Well, that escalated. " Sarah crossed her arms. "Last I heard, it was half the city's police force."
Chuck grabbed her by the elbow and turned her to face him. "Is this about the body you buried in your backyard?"
Hartley's eyes bugged out of their sockets while Sarah bust out laughing. "Could you get any more clueless?"
Chuck puffed out his cheeks. "I wouldn't be clueless if you fuckin' told me shit."
"What are you, my boyfriend?" She asked with a quirked brow.
He gave her a pointed look. "Who the fuck is clueless now?"
She gave him a dead stare. "You're not my boyfriend."
To which he rolled his eyes. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, princess. "
"I should really take a picture. " Hartley mumbled. "You two are fucking adorable."
"Oh yeah, you're still here. " Chuck looked at his dad in genuine surprise, and ignored the way he looked at him like an alien was crawling out of his ass. "How do you know who she is anyways?"
Hartley looked at Sarah. "Should you tell him? Or should I?"
She crossed her arms under her chest. "Does he have to know at all?"
"Yes. " Chuck threw his hands in the air. "Yes, he really, really needs to know!"
"Fine!" She leaned her hip out as she gave Chuck an annoyed look. "Short version: My dad offed himself, now I'm supposed to be in the foster system, but it sucks and they only want my dead, rich dad's money, so I ran away cuz they're a bunch of uncaring, spoiled, money hungry assholes."
Chuck stared at her face, every inch of her face, then looked at his dad. "So, how do you know her?"
"Really, son?" Hartley mumbled in disbelief, but decided to clue in the poor boy all the same. "She's been all over the news, and it's part of my job to know what's going on. Honestly, I'm surprised you don't know anything about this… It's everywhere."
"Either fucking way. " Sarah huffed. "I'm not going fucking back, so if you're planning on turning me in, old…really hot man…. I should just leave right fucking now."
"Whoa, whoa, hey!" Chuck shouted, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Let's just calm down and not talk crazy."
"Yeah, relax, kid." Hartley said scratching his head. "I'm not into ruining lives. Besides, you might save my son a few STD's."
Sarah smirked while Chuck blandly replied, "You're so funny I think I shit myself."
Hartley crossed his arms over his chest. "I think it's safe to assume you've been living here."
"You're so intuitive it's scary." Sarah rolled her eyes while Chuck snickered.
"Alright, sassy." Hartley uncrossed his arms and started walking to the living room. "I'd like to speak with you alone."
A small moan left her lips. "I thought you were never gonna ask." Her eyes crossed when a finger made its way an inch from her face.
"Don't even think about it, sugar tits." Chuck glared at her hard and when a smirk lifted onto her lips, he waved his finger. "Nah ah ah! Don't!"
She rolled her eyes, smirk still on her face, and grabbed the back of his head, smashing her lips onto his. His finger was still in mid-air as her tongue invaded his mouth. She pulled back and gave him a sultry smile. "You know you're my main dick."
He watched her hips sway as she walked away with a hum of contentment, and it wasn't until she was out of the room that her words registered in his mind. "There's no way." He shook his head and started walking towards the fridge, giving one final suspicious glance in the direction she went.
"Sit down, Sarah." Hartley patted the couch cushion beside him.
She warily sat down as far away from him as she could. "Is this the part where you tell me I'm not good enough for your son and I should take my wide vagina to the door?"
Hartley choked in surprise while trying not to laugh at what she just said. "N-No…I just want to know why you're still running away."
She inhaled deeply through her nose. "Some fucks are gonna adopt me to get my dad's money. They'll give me fake smiles and excuse all the rebellious, adolescent shit I'll do, cuz hell, they'll be getting a fortune in return for not giving a shit about me. Then when I'm twenty-five, they get all the money and say bye to me. Why the fuck would I want to do that?"
"Ever killed anyone?" Hartley said seriously as he leaned his elbows on his knees.
"I wish, but no. " She seriously replied.
"Theft?"
"Every day. "
"Sexually active?"
"I've been living with your son, what do you think?"
"Are you in school?"
"Can't since I'm on the run."
"What are your plans for the future?"
"Whatever the fuck happens, happens."
Hartley stared at her hard for a good five minutes, before he grinned a big toothy grin and held his hand out for her. "Welcome to the family, Sarah."
"Did you just adopt me?" She asked as she hastily accepted the hand shake, internally squealing at being able to feel his rough skin.
"Well, if I did that then there'd be some seriously kinky incest going on in this house." Hartley smirked as he stood up. "No, what I'm saying is I approve of the wedding, take care of my son… He's a special case."
Sarah snorted and watched him leave, and she couldn't help the smile that made its way to her lips. "Yeah… " she murmured under her breath. "He's something."
After a couple of days;
Sarah yawned as she opened the door to her designated room, her eyes still not having opened yet.
"FUCK!" A ringing pain spread from her pinky toe to her whole foot and her eyes snapped open to see what the fuck she hit it on. "Stairs." She mumbled, glaring at the cocky corner of the wall leading down the stairs. "Such inglorious little cock stains."
Yawning, she rubbed her eyes as she walked down the fucking stairs. In the midst of her descent, she heard a deep voice by the door. Not the sexy, deep voice of Chuck's hot dad, but a blander type of deep voice. Then she heard the sexy, deep voice of Chuck's hot dad and her insides melted a little. Wait… did she just hear her name?
Without making any noise and using her tip toes, as one does when trying to be a silent ninja, she floated down the rest of the steps and peeked her head around the corner.
"If you have any idea where she might be, or if you happen to come across her at any point, give us a call." A police officer who was just as bland looking as his voice said. He was standing in the open door with Chuck and Hartley in front of him. "You've got our number."
Sarah rolled her eyes at that, but inside her heart was melting.
"Will do officer." Hartley said as Chuck saluted to the man, grunting when Hartley elbowed him in the gut before he shut the door.
They hadn't said anything. They really hadn't told the police that she was there. Her face burned bright red at that thought. It was so nice of them. She stayed hidden while she watched the two make their way to the kitchen…. Well, she stayed hidden until she realized they were headed to the kitchen because kitchen meant food and she was hungry as a motherfucker.
"Let's eat before the never-ending black hole wakes up." Chuck mumbled as he opened the fridge.
Sarah grinned and stuck her arm through space between Chuck's body and the open fridge, snatching a plate of pancakes. "Too late."
A deep chuckle was heard by the table as Chuck whirled around and glared at her. "Why can't I have the good thing to eat at least once."
She giggled as she popped the pancakes in the microwave. "Silly boy, haven't you ever heard of ladies first?"
"Show me a lady." Chuck mumbled as he turned to look for any other food.
"I resent that." She glared at the back of his head, but immediately smiled and forgot what was going on when the microwave dinged. She took out the pancakes and took a magnificent whiff of what could only be described as God's jizz before she sat down at the table, purposely next to Hartley.
"So, Sarah." Hartley started as he sipped his coffee. "How did you and Chuck meet?"
"mour shon ish an iniot. " Sarah said with her mouth full.
Chuck turned around with a glare. "Well, your daughter-in-law is a spiteful princess."
Hartley sighed. "Can someone please just tell the story."
Sarah actually made a cartoon noise when she swallowed. "I stole all of his food when he wasn't looking."
Chuck sat down at the table with some sad toast. "She stole all of my fucking food when I wasn't fucking looking."
Hartley picked up the morning paper and began to skim through it. "Interesting."
"Speaking of." Chuck smirked at her. "I still want to fuck with Shaw."
Sarah giggled. "He's probably still hung over."
"Either way." He shoved the toast into his mouth. "He'sh gwetting fwucked wif."
Hartley set down the paper and stood up, making both teens cringed at the noise his chair made. "Well, you kids have fun. Don't get caught or arrested or on tv. Just lay low okay?"
"Got it."
"Aye sir."
"So, what was your dad like?" Chuck asked as him and Sarah walked down the sidewalk in town.
"Ya know, if I was more sensitive, I would punch you in the nuts for asking that without any warning."
Chuck smirked at that. "So, I'm assuming you're going to answer because you're not more sensitive?"
She rolled her eyes with a smile. "damnit, are you getting to know me better?"
"I do believe I am." He slipped his hand into hers, trying to make it nonchalant…. but she just stopped and stared at their joined hands.
After a moment, she shrugged and continued walking. "I suppose this is allowed."
"Well thank god the queen approves."
"I thought I was a princess?"
"Oh, you are." He held up her hand and gave her knuckles a kiss. "You're a beauty queen who acts like a spoiled princess."
She giggled. "And you're a dick who thinks he's a dildo."
"Ya know, I'm just gonna take that as a compliment."
"As you should."
They both stopped when four guys around their age stepped in front of them. Chuck pulled Sarah behind him as one stepped closer to them.
"Are you Chuck?"
Chuck eyed him up and down. "Who's asking?"
"Does the name Candice ring any bells?" The guy said with clear irritation in his voice.
"Hmmm…. nope, never heard of her."
Sarah sighed and tugged on his sleeve. He turned around and raised an eyebrow. "Candice was the last girl you brought to your house."
His eyebrows rose as recognition dawned on him. "Oh yeah!" He turned back to the fuming guy. "Was that your sister or something?"
"You're damn right it was, you dick!" The guy then swung at Chuck and clocked him right in the jaw.
Sarah whistled and stepped away from Chuck. "To be honest, you kind of deserved that."
Chuck rubbed his jaw and squared his shoulder. "Yeah, okay, I'll give you that one. But listen, I didn't break her heart or anything, she just decided to up and leave. I didn't tell her to, even though I would have, but she was the one who made it a one-night stand. "
"Are you for real?" The guy scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. "She told me you hit her and kicked her out."
Chuck reeled back. "Why the hell would I do that? I would never hit a woman." He turned to Sarah. "I would never hit a woman."
She smiled at him. "I know you wouldn't. " Then she looked at the fuming guy. "He's telling the truth, I was there. She just left on the phone to someone I'm assuming is her boyfriend or something."
"The fuck, Candice!" The guy shouted and whirled around, signaling the other guys to follow him.
They watched the guys leave, and Sarah mumbled, "Bitches."
"Seriously, man. Don't believe everything a girl tells you." Chuck hummed.
"Especially a sister who doesn't want her brother to know she's a raging little slut magnet." Sarah giggled.
"Thanks for coming to my defense, by the way." Chuck smiled at her.
She patted his cheek with a sweet smile. "You're quite welcome."
His narrowed eyes followed her as she began walking away, but when they landed on her swinging hips they soften while another part of him stiffened. "And that's why I love you." He whispered to the wind before he jogged to catch up to her.