Chapter 23: Tuesday, February 19, 1980

"I am a strong believer in kissing being very intimate, and the minute you kiss, it opens the floodgates for everything else."

-Jennifer Lopez

Five days.

It took five days before Remus finally acknowledged Hermione's presence again. She wasn't upset about it, she understood that Remus was not the type of person to be comfortable with his feelings, particularly when those feelings included being close to anyone new. She kept her distance, even declining the Sunday roast that James put together, as he did every Sunday. That had gotten her a few strong words of irritation from Lily, but ultimately, she understood. They all understood.

Remus needed time.

Hermione sat, raking her memory for specific moments between herself and Remus in her own time. Her conclusion had been that while they had spent some time alone here and there, he had always gone out of his way to distance himself from her. Sit on the opposite end of the sofa, sit at the far end of the table, stand with a few people between them… Never quite comfortable around anyone. Even when he had been with Tonks, he hadn't seemed truly comfortable with the physical contact. Hermione had always assumed he just wasn't one for physical displays of affection, but now? Now she realized that not only was Remus uncomfortable with PDA, he was uncomfortable with any type of affection.

Remus was self deprecating to a fault. Never able to accept a compliment or believe that someone truly felt something positive toward him. Even when Lily, Sirius, or James made an effort to go out of their way to say or do something nice for him, he shot it down. Constantly talking as if his very existence was a burden. Hermione was determined to change that. And if he took much longer, she would march herself straight over to James and Lily's and tell him as much.

Maybe it was selfish. Maybe she just really missed the feeling of being held, or having someone tangle their fingers in her curls, or the feel of someone's lips pressed against her while their hips moved in sync… But the way her stomach fluttered every time she thought of Remus' lips against hers told her it was more than just basic, primal, want.

And that terrified Hermione more than anything.

She craved Remus. Not even just his kiss, but his presence. She liked the way he seemed to talk to himself when he thought no one was paying attention, or how he sang, slightly off key, under his breath as he baked. She liked his Welsh insults and the way he swore far more often than anyone else she knew. She liked how he listened, really listened, to her when she talked—as if whatever she was saying was the most important thing he'd heard all day.

Lily had come over, a wicked smile across her lips as she asked what happened Thursday night. Hermione told her everything, from the slight argument, to the admission that she knew he was a Werewolf, to the kiss. Lily had just sat, listening, her smirk growing ever wider as her eyes twinkled with joy.

"What?" Hermione said, rolling her eyes as she took a sip of her espresso and hot chocolate.

"Nothing," Lily said in an annoyingly sing-song voice.

Hermione pulled her feet up to the cushion and narrowed her eyes at the red head, "You're a terrible liar, Lily."

Lily laughed, "Listen, I'm just saying… I've never seen Remus in such a good mood. He would usually be horrified that someone had figured out that he's a werewolf. He would go running in the other direction, but when he told me about it last night… It was… It was almost as if he could finally catch a breath."

Hermione bit into her lip, pulling her brows together as she sighed, "I want to believe you, Lily, truly I do. But he hasn't even tried to talk to me since Thursday!"

"You've been avoiding him too," Lily pointed out.

"I'm not avoiding him! I just wanted to give him space and-

"Hermione," Lily said, reaching over and setting her hand on the top of Hermione's forearm. "You can't give Remus space if you want this to progress. He's like… Like a lost puppy or something, if you don't guide him into where you want him to go, he'll just wander off and forget he wanted it in the first place."

"You realize you just compared Remus, who is a werewolf, to a puppy. That's a terrible analogy, Lily! He's an adult. He's more than capable of sorting himself out."

"Okay, maybe not the best analogy, but if you think for one second Remus is emotionally mature enough to handle his emotions when it comes to the opposite sex, you are mistaken. He avoided every single girl at Hogwarts that showed any interest in him, Hermione. You're the first girl he's ever talked about-

"He talks about me?" Hermione asked, feeling very juvenile as the words left her lips. But she couldn't help it! She wanted— no, needed— to know if he was actually interested in her or if her own feelings were overshadowing his.

Lily smirked, "Oh, that's piqued your interest has it? I'm sure you two adults can sort it out yourselves."

Hermione scowled, "You're incredibly rude."

Lily laughed, "You know Remus well enough by now, you know he doesn't really talk about much. But yes, he's talked about you. Told me about a rather nice kiss you shared. You're welcome for that, by the way. James said it was ridiculous to lock you in the house together, but Sirius and I agreed that it was best."

"Of course, you and Sirius agreed." Hermione laughed, thinking she should maybe be angry at her friend for locking her up with Remus, but thankful it had happened.

"He said he thinks you're pretty, and he doesn't like that you talk bad about your hair because, and I quote 'she has beautiful curly hair, Lily. Have you seen it? It never stays in that braid she puts it in, and I really like when it falls all over the place.'" Lily lowered her voice, doing her best Remus impression.

Hermione chuckled, absently smoothing her hands over her curls. Her stomach doing flips at the thought of Remus talking to Lily about her hair.

"I don't know what hold you have on him, but whatever it is; he's got it bad for you, Hermione."

Despite Lily's insistence that Remus would need a push to pursue anything he felt for her, Hermione was surprised to hear her door open later that evening, Remus entering with a small basket of biscuits.

Hermione walked into the living room, a book about the application of muggle herbs in healing potions in hand.

"Oh," she said, stopping mid step when she saw Remus in the hall. "Hi, Remus. I… I wasn't expecting you."

She didn't miss the way his cheeks tinged pink as he held out the small basket, "I uh.. I made some biscuits."

Hermione set her book on the coffee table and crossed the space, taking the basket from his hand and turning to put them in the kitchen, when he didn't follow, she looked over her shoulder at him and raised an eyebrow, "Are you going to come in?"

"Actually, I erm.. I thought, maybe, if you wanted to…" He trailed off, clearing his throat a bit as he straightened his back, standing up to his full height. "Would you want to go get dinner with, erm, with me?"

Hermione smiled at him, turning back to face him. Almost made it through the full sentence without stammering, she mused. "I would love to."

"Really?" Remus asked, sounding shocked.

Hermione chuckled and nodded, "Yes, really. Let me set these down and I'll get dressed."

"You don't have to change," he said, quickly. "I erm, I didn't plan to go anywhere erm… sumptuous or anything."

"I think I would be very uncomfortable if you took me out for a posh dinner," she said. "But I don't think wearing my pyjamas is appropriate, no matter where we go."

Remus' eyes roamed over her and he scratched at the back of his neck, "I didn't realize…"

"You didn't realize my trousers have polka dots? Or you didn't realize that I wouldn't wear polka dotted trousers in public?"

Remus puffed out a nervous laugh, "I wasn't paying attention to your trousers," he admitted. "There's a place not far off, they've got really good fish and chips."

Hermione smiled again, something she realized she couldn't help but do around him. "I'll be ready in two shakes."

Hermione wrinkled her nose as she looked around the small restaurant, if you could even call it that. The fluorescent lights overhead flickered occasionally, the tiled floors seemed to be permanently sticky, and the tables were all covered with a strange plasticky film.

"I know," Remus said, his voice low. "I know how it looks, but trust me, they have the best chips of anywhere I've ever eaten."

"That's a large statement to say about some place so… quaint."

Remus chuckled, shuffling awkwardly beside her as they approached the counter, "Quaint is putting it nicely."

A large man wearing a checkered apron over his terribly stained tee shirt appeared at the counter. He smiled at Remus and Hermione didn't miss the way his eyes drifted to her before back to Remus.

"You've brought a new friend with you this time!" The man exclaimed, clapping his hands together as he smiled. "You want your usual?"

"You come here often enough to have a usual?" Hermione asked, biting back a grin.

Remus' cheeks tinged pink as he nodded, "Yeah, I don't like to make James and Lily cook for me all the time. Sirius and I come here a lot."

"Keeps me in business, those boys!" The man said happily, stepping to the register. "What can I get for you missus?"

"Erm, I'll just get whatever Remus gets."

"Five pieces of fish and a large basket of chips?" He asked, his eyebrows raising as his eyes twinkled with amusement.

Hermione's chin dropped open as she craned her neck to stare up at Remus, "Remus! That's a lot of food!"

"I'm very hungry," he mumbled, looking away from her and twisting his mouth down in a frown.

"Look at him! It's not as if he doesn't need it! Personally, I don't know where the bloke fits it all!" The man laughed, "We'll say two pieces and a smaller basket?"

Hermione laughed, "Yes please, that would be good."

"Have a seat, I'll bring it out to you when it's ready!"

"Don't we need to pay?" Hermione asked, more to Remus than to the man.

Before Remus could answer, the man shook his head and smiled, "It's on the house, yeah? After all he's done for me, his money's no good here!"

Hermione smiled back to him and nodded, tugging on the elbow of Remus' coat to pull him to one of the small tables. She slid into the booth and chuckled as Remus slid in across from her, muttering apologies as his knees knocked into hers underneath the table.

"So, what did you do to secure free meals for life?" Hermione asked, curiously.

Remus chewed his lip a moment before looking up to meet her eyes. "Tom is- erm… A squib," Remus said. "He's the only magical shop this side of town, carries basic potions ingredients and quills, things like that. I helped him to set up some wards, is all."

"He's got a shop here?"

Remus nodded, "Mhm. It's through the kitchen, there's a back entrance in the alley."

"How does he know that you…?"

"James' family has been in Godric Hollow for years, even before Mum and Dad erm— Mr. and Mrs. Potter passed away, we would come in and get some of our supplies for Hogwarts from Tom. It's been in his family for generations, I guess."

As Hermione began to ask another question, Tom, the man from behind the counter, brought their baskets of fish and chips to the table, along with two bottles of butterbeer. Hermione and Remus both said their thanks and Tom gave a slight wink to Hermione before rushing off through the kitchen doors.

They began eating in silence that didn't last long as Hermione tasted the food. She was pleasantly surprised by how good it was. She closed her eyes and hummed her appreciation as she popped another chip into her mouth, opening her eyes when she felt Remus staring at her.

"Good, isn't it?" he asked, his eyes twinkling with amusement as he dusted his fingers across his napkin.

"What was the word you used, again? Blasus, wasn't it?"

Remus chuckled, "Your pronunciation is a little on the harsh side, but yes."

Hermione scoffed, tossing the half eaten chip at Remus, giggling as it hit his chest. Remus laughed, taking a sip of his butterbeer before going back to his food.

"So, is it a metabolism thing, because of the wolf?"

Remus choked on the bite of cod he had put into his mouth, bringing the napkin up to his mouth as he coughed into it, his face turning red. "What?"

"I've read that werewolves-" she whispered the word, looking around to make sure no one else was near, although she knew no one had walked in since they sat. "Have a higher metabolism than the average witch or wizard. Much higher, in fact. That could be why you like sweets so well, the sugar provides more carbohydrates for energy to burn."

It was almost instantaneous, the change in his demeanor as she began talking so openly about his lycanthropy. His shoulders slumped forward, his head tilting to the side a bit as his face took on a slightly pained expression. His eyebrows furrowed as his eyes flitted across her face, studying her.

"You've read about… it?" Remus asked, his words coming out slowly.

Hermione nodded, taking a sip of her butterbeer and a patting her napkin to her mouth, "Oh, yes. Quite a lot, actually. I had a friend who was afflicted in my own time, I wanted to learn as much about it as I could."

"You had a friend..?"

"Several, actually. I know it's hard to believe that I would have friends, but-

"That's not what I meant," Remus interrupted her. "You had a friend who was a… Who was like me?"

Hermione nodded, her wrist aching a bit. Warning her that she was treading into future talk territory, offering up details specific to Remus without it being life or mission threatening. "I did," she answered, vaguely.

"What happened to them?"

Hermione opened her mouth and closed it again, trying to figure out a way to word the answer. She didn't know what happened to Remus, couldn't remember the details. She knew James and Lily died when Harry was young, but couldn't remember how or when. She knew Sirius died in battle, but again, not the details surrounding it. Why couldn't she remember what happened to Remus? Had Draco buried it that far? She had asked him to bury anything she had strong emotions towards regarding the members of the original Order of the Phoenix… Had she always had complex feelings toward Remus, even in her own time?

"Hermione?"

She shook her head, pulling herself out of her thoughts and meeting Remus' concerned gaze. "Sorry, I'm fine."

"We don't have to talk about it," he said, quietly.

Hermione sighed in relief and pushed forth her best smile, trying to ignore the nagging in the back of her mind.

After they finished eating, Hermione asked if they could take a look in the shop that Tom kept in the back. They walked around the small shop, no bigger than her living room, and she picked out a few items she could use to restock her potions supplies. After paying and leaving through the entrance at the back alley, they wandered around the muggle town for a bit, talking about little things like their favorite subjects at Hogwarts and some of their favorite texts to read from. Hermione was pleasantly surprised to find that she wasn't the only person who read instructional texts for the fun of it, happy to talk with Remus about her love of Hogwarts: A History.

A while later, she found herself lingering on her door step, not ready for Remus to go back to James and Lily's just yet.

"Would you like to come in for an espresso?" Hermione asked, looking up to him with hopeful eyes.

"Bit late for that, isn't it?" Remus asked.

Hermione laughed, "It's barely past nine, and I don't sleep well anyway."

He seemed to consider her for a moment before finally nodding, "Yeah, okay."

Hermione beamed, pushing the door open and taking his hand, pulling him into the cottage. They removed their shoes and coats before stepping through the living room and into the kitchen. Remus leaned his hip against the counter, slouching forward a bit as he crossed his ankles, watching her as she pulled out the coffee press and a small sauce pot to make the espresso and hot chocolate.

"You know," Remus said, his voice barely above a whisper. "With the regularity that you drink this, it could be an addiction."

"There are worse things I could be addicted to," Hermione said, her voice light with laughter as she chopped the bar of chocolate. She felt Remus step behind her, his hand appearing next to the chocolate bar to snag a piece. "Speaking of addictions.."

Remus snorted, popping the piece of chocolate into his mouth, "Like you said, there are worse things I could be addicted to."

Hermione set the knife down, turning around to face Remus, her back pressed against the edge of the counter as she leaned backward to look at his face. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything," he said.

Hermione pulled in a slow breath, breathing out through her nose, "Why are you so fond of chocolate? Is it a happy memory or… Or something your mum did for you, or something?"

She could see his throat bob as he swallowed, his cheek indenting as he bit down on the inside of it. Hermione watched him closely, seeing his eyes shift briefly to gold and then back to green several times as he seemed to be murmuring under his breath a bit.

Curious, she thought. Does he talk to Moony?

"If I've said something wrong, or… or-

"No," Remus said, quickly. "No, it's not that. I just… Shit...It's erm… It's stupid."

Hermione pulled her head back on her shoulders, tilting it a bit as she stared up at him. He looked embarrassed, like he didn't want to answer the question. Like he truly did feel his answer would be inadequate.

"Remus… I highly doubt whatever your reason is, that it's a stupid one."

His tongue darted out to wet his lips nervously as he took another slow, shaking breath. He looked anywhere but her as he answered, "Chocolate is supposed to be poisonous to dogs."

Hermione pressed her lips in a thin line, shaking her head slightly, "I don't… I don't understand what you mean."

Remus sighed, carding his fingers through his hair before settling his hand on the back of his neck. "I was bitten when I was five, Hermione. I was just a kid. I had remembered hearing, or maybe reading, somewhere that chocolate was poisonous to dogs. So, I ate my body weight in it…"

It dawned on Hermione very quickly, and she frowned. "You were trying to kill the wolf by consuming chocolate?"

"I erm… I know it sounds stupid. But I… I was just a boy. I thought that chocolate could cure anything, even werewolf bites."

Hermione felt her jaw twitch as her mouth twisted to the side, her heart broke for the little boy who made himself sick with chocolate hoping to poison the beast inside of him. "Oh, Remus…"

Remus closed his eyes, his hand falling back to his side and he shook his head. "I don't believe that now, for the record. I just genuinely like chocolate, I always have. But that was why I started eating it regularly. When it didn't work, I reckoned, at least it was a bit of a comfort."

Hermione reached her hand out, grabbing his and squeezing it. She didn't know what to say. How could she explain to him that such a simple thought he had had as a five year old child had broken her heart for him? She studied his face, tracing the deep, ragged scars that ran across his nose and onto his cheek, the light purple rings that seemed to always be under his forest green eyes, the shadowy stubble that covered his chin no matter what time of day it was… She stepped forward, closing the gap between them by the slight shift, and pressed herself up to her toes, resting a hand on the back of his neck to draw his face closer to her level.

He opened his eyes and stared at her curiously for a moment before pressing his lips to hers.

Hermione sighed into his mouth, happy that he took the slight part of her lips as an invitation to deepen the kiss. His tongue found its way into her mouth, caressing hers, as his lips moved against hers. She felt his arms slowly snake around her, pulling her closer to him before falling slightly to rest his hands on the curve of her waist.

She gasped and fell into a giggle when he picked her up with ease, setting her on the countertop.

"You're so short," he mumbled. "You're gonna give me back problems."

"Oh, don't go blaming your bad posture on me, that was there long before I came around," Hermione teased, leaning forward to nip at his bottom lip. "Besides, I'm not the one who made you so bloody tall."

Remus laughed before stepping between her knees, wrapping his arms around her again as he leaned back down to capture her lips once more.

As they melted into one another, their kisses became feverish. Remus pulled away from her lips to trail soft kisses against her jawline, trailing down her throat and stopping at the juncture of her neck and collar bone, sucking at it lightly. Hermione's skin rippled with gooseflesh as the warmth of his mouth set fire to her, the heat of his fingers as they lightly raked against her ribs and back.

Hermione arched her back, pressing her torso against his as her fingers scratched lightly at his scalp, her arms wrapped around his neck as he lavished her throat with gentle nips and kisses. The low groan in his throat shooting heat straight through her lower belly and into her core, making her heart race with excitement and want.

She ignored the sizzle of the pan as the milk scalded, boiling over and splashing against the burners. Her only focus was the heat of his palms as they found their way under the hem of her jumper, resting against the cool skin on her lower back. When his mouth finally found hers against, she moaned into the kiss and she felt his entire body go rigid.

Within a few breaths, Remus dropped his hands from her skin, stepping back quickly and shaking his head.

"I'm sorry, Hermione. I- I can't. I…fuck... I shouldn't have-

"Remus Lupin, I swear to Merlin, if you run out that door again…"

"It's okay that I… That I snogged you?" Remus said, embarrassment clear in his voice.

"Yes!" Hermione cried, laughing as she threw her hands in the air. "Yes, Remus. And I would like very much to continue snogging you!"

Very slowly, she watched, as his eyes shifted between green and gold, a smile spreading over his face as he stepped forward again and claimed her lips with his own.

.

.

a/n: Hey everyone! Thanks for reading! I'm sure we've all seen this headcanon floating around about Remus' love of chocolate stemming from chocolate being poisonous to dogs.. Obviously when I saw it, it broke my heart, and I needed to use it. So I have no idea where it originated, I can't seem to find one source for that, but either way...

Thanks to everyone who sent me well wishes for my surgery! I'm posting about twelve hours earlier than I usually do because my normal time, I'll be at the hospital! I'm nervous, but I'm sure it'll be fine!

Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter! as always, alpha love to Mayghaen17. If you liked it, please let me know!

xo

mimi