"Hello there, bastard!" The cruel man comes into my cell. I flinch and back into a wall. It's been a few years since my capture. I'm exhausted and afraid. I feel around, more frightened when I realize that I can't see. It's total darkness. "Do you have any eyes for me today?" He sneers in my face. I feel him grab my eyelids and lift them higher before he slaps me. "What is this? Where them eyes? Are you holding out on me?" He snarls.

"N-n-no! I can't make any more!" I plead.

"Oh, that's the excuse you're going with? Pity. Well, I suppose if you can't see, there's no need to keep you alive."

"Leave her alone!" Starshadow's muffled voice snaps. I hear the man stumble trying to grab the bag. There's sounds of wrestling as Starshadow fights the man, but Starshadow's too weak.

"You talk? Well, now you're worth something. Why should I help ya?" The man demands.

"I'll kill you for blinding my best friend!" Starshadow hisses threateningly. There's a sharp snap and an immense pain in my heart. I sob when I realize that the connection to Starshadow, one that I never even knew was there, snapped.

"Good luck killing me when you're dead." The man laughs. I start to sob. "Oh, by the way, I got you a gift. A little man washed up on my dock. He was demanding if anyone had seen a girl with very unique eyes. He asked the wrong crowd." The laughs as a body is thrown into the cell. It lands nearby. I hear a slight groan before a gasp.

"Who is this?" Yone asks.

"The girl with unique eyes." The cruel leader cackles. "Not so unique now, are they?"

"How dare you! How dare you be so weak!" Yone snarls at me. I scream as a loud boom echoes in the room. I reach out slowly before I feel a pool of liquid. I touch the liquid and shiver when I realize it's blood.

"Well, that's a pity, His swords should be worth some gold. And maybe your organs too…" I feel the man grab my arm and pull. "Wake up, Leilah!" He screams in my face. "Wake up!"

"Leilah! Leilah, you're dreaming!" Starshadow yells in my ear. I scream and throw him across the room. He hits the wall with an oomph. I can't stop screaming with tears streaming down my face. I hear him groan in my head before seeing him slither up the bed to coil right in front of me. "Leilah, I'm here! I'm alive! Yone's alive! You're in Ionia! Remember-"

"I remember, Starshadow." I gasp out. The room echoes with my panicked gasping for a bit before I finally get control. "I remember."

Glad to hear that. What was the dream about this time? Starshadow asks in my head. I bury my hands into my knees.

"I can't." I cry.

"Leilah, you can't keep quiet about it forever. It's not good for you." Starshadow persists.

"I CAN'T!" I scream at him. I jump up off the bed and run out the room. I keep running until I'm outside. I fall down in a heap, sobbing. I couldn't talk about it. I'm afraid, in pain, and I just… I can't.

"Leilah?" Shen asks. I flinch and turn towards him. As it's still nighttime, I panic for a moment when I don't see anyone.

"Shen?" I squeak.

"I'm right here." Shen tells me. I jump as I turn around. He's sitting next to me. "Nightmare?" He asks. I flinch and look down. "What was it about?"

"I can't." I whisper.

"Ok." Shen quiets down and turns to look at the sky. I freeze before turning to him.

"You're not going to ask me some more?" I whisper.

"You aren't comfortable talking yet. I will say that acknowledging that talking is the first step to healing, but it is also the hardest step." Shen murmurs quietly. I shiver from the cold. Shen pulls off his cloak and drapes it onto my shoulders.

"Thank you." I whisper.

"You're not the only one with nightmares." Shen confesses. "Father and Govos, we both have them as well. The golden demon leaves rather… distasteful deaths behind." Shen starts to tremble. "I can't even imagine the victims, how they felt. It's just… It's just awful."

"Do you want to talk about something else? To ease our minds?" I ask. Shen nods, thankful for my topic change.

"You told me about your history. Let me tell you ours. The Kinkou Order is a part of Ionia. We usually hunt demons to exorcise them."

"Demons?"

"Yeah, like the azakana. We uphold the balance of the spirit realm and the physical realm."

"Oh. But that's the history of the Kinkou order. I want to hear about your history. What made you who you are today?" I try to bring Shen to the more positive aspects of his life.

"Well, you know my Father is Kusho. He's one of the leaders of the Kinkou. He's calm, open-minded, and kind. Govos was an orphan. Father took him in. Govos proved himself to be a great pupil. Father took Govos as an apprentice. He's actually set to be the next in line to be the Eye of Twilight, that's Father's title, the one that sees more than everyone else. Growing up under him was interesting. He was never a harsh man, but also was not an active part of my childhood until I started to train.

"One of the leaders?" I ask.

"Another is the Fist of Shadow. My young friend Akali, her mother is the Fist of Shadow. She's terrifying with a weapon. No one has ever beaten the Fist of Shadow. She completes all her tasks given to her. And there's Kennen, the Heart of the Tempest. He's a yordle, but his easy handling of the tempest themselves has made our Order accept him into our ranks as a leader. He's the first and only one with that title."

"Eye, Fist, Heart. The eye sees everything, the Fist defends and attacks, and the Heart connects the two?"

"Exactly that. Anyway, I was a rather playful child. I was a troublemaker for sure."

"Oh yes. Pantsing everyone in the council?" I tease. Shen gives a light chuckle.

"Yes, that used to be me. Oh, the trouble I would get us into. I miss those days. From what I remember, Kennan was teaching our younger students the art of shurikens. Akali loves to learn about those. I remember that she and Kennan would just go running out of our village to go train." Shen stops himself, stunned. "I haven't thought about them in so long. I wonder how everyone is doing." Shen quiets. The silence that follows is a comfortable one. I take a deep breath.

"I want to make a deal with you." I jump at how loud my voice is compared to the quiet from before.

"And what deal might that entail?" Shen asks after a moment.

"For every bad thing I can talk about, you do the same." I choke out. Shen looks at me in concern.

"I'm not sure that is the wisest-"

"As much as I hate to admit it, Starshadow is right. I can't… I just can't keep bottling it up. I can't sleep. And you're right, I need to heal. You're hunting a demon and I'm around you and we just can't let the demon find and eat me while you guys are out there, so I need to get better. I can't… I can't let this go on." I feel my tears fall quickly down my face. Shen stares at me for a moment before nodding. I curl up into an even tighter ball than I already am.

"Starshadow and I, we arrived in Bilgewater passed out. I don't know how long we were out, but when I woke up, I was surrounded by children. They took Starshadow before I knew it. I didn't know that Starshadow was gone then, though. There was a house, some loud bangs happened. I watched a big man stumble out and run. I had to decide between a burning house or the culprit. I chose the house. I thought I could find someone there that needed help. A little girl needed me. I saved her, but we were crushed under the debris. When I woke up again, she was gone. I squirmed out of the house right before it fell. That's when I noticed Starshadow was missing. I met a demon, terrified me. I ran. The whole day, I tried to find my best friend. I was slapped and thrown to the ground. I didn't even have any food or water, just all I could do was think about where Starshadow was. Some men, they had Starshadow and were told that someone on the streets was looking for them. He found me and knocked me out."

"This… This is the nicer part of the story. Before I went searching for Starshadow, I met a woman, so desperate for money that she tried…" I choke. Shen wraps an arm around me to comfort me. "She tried to take my eye. My right eye. She punctured it. I was in so much pain, but she grabbed my head and forced my eyelid open to see if she could salvage it." I sob. Shen tenses for a moment. Sensing that I wasn't going to be talking for a bit, He talks.

"One of the most recent bodies, the flesh was burned to the bone. There were flowers in the flesh. Some of the bones have even chipped so that a flower could be in depth as well. Her eyes are what haunt me the most. She clearly knew what was happening. Even worse, some of the marks, they were healing. The demon, he actually tested how to kill someone like that." Shen stammers. Both of us are crying openly now. "What's worse is that she was young. Your age. There was even a note under her. 'I will find true beauty.' This girl was tortured to death, and the note says that even in death, it wasn't enough!" Shen rages quietly. I reach over and hug him. We sit in silence, Shen to remember the girl, me to prepare myself to speak.

"My turn?" I ask. Shen nods. "I came to in a cage. The man who caught me was a lackey. Their leader, he was taunting me, making fun of me. He heard about my eyes and was impressed. Right before them, my right eye was healing. It was actually starting to clear. The leader, he decided that my eyes just had to be of value…" I stop, truly unable to keep going. Shen squeezes me tightly, giving me a little bit of courage. "He cut them out." I whisper.

"How-"

"Do I still have eyes? Turns out, I have very good healing magic somewhere. My eyes regrew, and the leader would keep cutting them out. Starshadow was being held in a bag, not wanting to access my magic. He heard me scream in pain for days. It wasn't until Starshadow was desperate enough that he pulled on my magic, something that we rarely ever do."

"Why?"

"I've only had my magic for about a year, not to mention the other magic inside. I don't know how to use it." I explain. "As a result, it's not good for me to use magic unless we are desperate. Starshadow thought of using an illusion, so he drew my power into himself. He… He saved me from torture after that. We fooled them for such a long time, I don't even know how long we were there. All I know is that I grew very sick. Not eating and constantly using my magic to keep me safe, I weakened and caught a bad cold. It wasn't until someone came to buy me that Starshadow escaped and we ran into you." I gasp out. I'm full on shaking and unable to move. Just talking about it, I can see it all happening again. I take deep breaths and dig my hands into the ground. The images slowly pull away and I tremble in exhaustion.

"...You are certainly strong if you were able to survive that." Shen comments lightly. I shake my head.

"I died, Shen. I know I did. Starshadow almost sacrificed himself to bring me back. I'm not strong. I couldn't help Starshadow." I scream.

"You stayed alive, Leilah. That's what counted." I jump when I feel Starshadow slither up to my neck. "You're alive. That's what matters." Tears flow faster as I hug my best friend.

"Feel better?" Shen asks.

"Not really." I confess.

You're ok, Leilah. You're ok. Starshadow comforts me.

"You will feel better, Leilah. I promise." Shen affirms Starshadow's claims without knowing what my snake said. "Do you want to go back to the monastery?"

"No. Not like this. They've already seen me sick. I want… I want to be someone strong, someone he doesn't have to protect. I need to prove this, to myself." I try to say firmly, but my voice still wavers. I yawn widely, exhausted from reliving that moment.

"He?" Shen teases. I glow. He laughs. "Go back to bed, Leilah."

"What about your troubles?" I ask. Shen freezes before nodding.

"I did agree to our deal. The Golden Demon, he's a bold one. He killed someone right in front of everyone. We were there. We were so close to the demon and saving lives. We had been scouting the perimeter of a courtyard. Everything was fine, beautiful. A traveling band was performing. Govos and I were allowed to watch it while Father scouted. It was fun. Govos and I, we could finally smile. Then it happened. There was a massive explosion of red. The blood landed on everyone. Everyone was screaming. Govos and I raced to the site of the explosion. The person was still alive. He was breathing, but only barely. His back was covered in those same flower petal shapes we found on the girl's back. When we went around, we almost threw up. His blood was sprayed everywhere. That man died right in front of us. Everyone watched it. After the square was cleared, Govos, Father, and I had to dissect the man. I never want to see another thing like it in my life." Shen shakes hard enough that I can see his hand struggling to not move. I hug him.

"Well, aren't we a fine group?" I try to tease. Starshadow snorts.

"We're broken and sad. A very fine group indeed." Starshadow deadpans. We give hollow laughter before we calm down again. I feel my exhaustion catch up and I curl up in Shen's lap. Shen looks very alarmed as I do so.

"Just… I can't be inside a room yet." I explain. Shen nods and relaxes. He brings a hand up and gently runs his hands through my hair. I relax and close my eyes.

For the first time in so long, I sleep peacefully. I feel safe and relaxed. I barely wake up when Shen picks me up to bring me back inside, just enough to know what is happening. The next morning, I wake up back in my room, the sun risen high in the sky. Starshadow's curled up on the pillow next to me. I carefully pick him up and cradle him. He shifts into a more comfortable position and just keeps snoozing. I smile before walking into the bathroom. I carefully heat the bath up to comfortable levels before shedding my clothes. I lay Starshadow into my clothes. He buries himself in there with a groan. I climb into the tub, relaxing. I feel better than I have in ages. Talking about my past with Shen was surprisingly helpful. I close my eyes and just soak.

How warm is the bath? Starshadow's sleepy voice calls out to me.

"It's perfect. Wanna come in?" I ask, holding out my arm so Starshadow could climb onto it if he wants to.

You know, for someone who is super shy about men, you don't mind me. Starshadow remarks as he latches onto my arm.

"That's easy. You're like a sibling, remember? And you're not a human. Besides, you slither around my clothes so much that there's almost nothing to hide from you." I complain as I pull him into the water. I hear him groan in satisfaction.

I never ever ever want to leave this bath. Ever. Starshadow states. I giggle.

"You're going to get wrinkles."

I'm a celestial. I never get wrinkles.

"I can see the worry line appearing on your scales."

You lie! Starshadow twists around to glare at me. I laugh.

"I'm serious! Your scales around your eyes are getting cloudy!"

I'm going to shed, you great annoyance! Starshadow snaps.

"Ew, not on me!" I yelp and throw him out of the tub. He slithers to my towel and starts to rub off the skin. I quickly lean out of the tub and grab his tail. "Fine, you can do it here, but don't get my towel all gross!" I haul him back in. I hear him snicker.

Help me? He asks. I sigh and start to rub his scales on his face. It takes a bit, but his nose scale does pop off. I rinse his nose and help him peel off the scales.

"I thought you were a celestial snake. Why are you shedding?"

I'm a celestial being, but I do have a snake form on Runeterra, so I go through things normal snakes go through.

"You're a celestial…"

I chose to be this way, Leilah. I want to distance myself from the stars. I want to… Starshadow trails off. I can see him fighting his mind before he sighs. I want to stay away from that part of my life. I was alone, I was bullied for being someone who supported my Father. I couldn't fight anyone. Then Soraka called for help from the stars and I attached and met you. When the second being touched us… I took most of the power. It changed me so much that I don't look or sound like a light being anymore. I'm more of Runeterra. And I chose to let the bond between us dictate our powers. I'm a celestial, but I'm not of the stars anymore. Starshadow confesses. I realize that Starshadow is struggling to cope with his past as well. He's telling me now, hoping that I would open up to him in return.

"My dream…" I start. Starshadow snaps his head up. "I dreamed that I could no longer regenerate my eyes. They were going to kill me when you finally piped up. You snapped, claimed that you were going to kill them." I tremble.

Well, that's not entirely wrong. Starshadow mumbles in my mind.

"He… he… snapped your neck. He killed you." I whisper. I sink into the water until only my nose was peaking out. Starshadow swims over to me and cuddles my face.

Do you want to talk with your mind? Starshadow offers. I shake my head and rise up a bit to talk.

"I want to say it out loud. He told me that Yone went searching for me. They threw Yone into the cell. He thought… He thought I was… weak… Just so weak…" I sob. Starshadow remains silent, rubbing his scales on my head to comfort me. "Then the man shot him. I could feel his blood, his body. And then the man grabbed and screamed at me. I woke up then." I shakily tell Starshadow. Starshadow pulls away, half his face shiny and half cloudy.

I'm so sorry Leilah. If I had just used magic earlier, then maybe I could have saved you. Starshadow tears up. I stare in shock as snake tears drip into the tub.

"Neither of us wanted to use the magic. You and Yone told me only in dire circumstances since I get super tired and sick easily. I wasn't about to die, so I didn't use it." I try to reason with him.

It doesn't matter, Leilah. I should have protected you from that, regardless of if you thought it was dire.

"We can't change the past. Now, let's get the last of that stubborn scale off your eyes, shall we?" I ask. I feel Starshadow roll his eyes at me while he lets himself be cleaned. I carefully peel off his eye caps. He sighs and sinks into the tub. I roll my eyes and pick him up.

Hey! I was enjoying that! Starshadow protests.

"We still need to meet the others. They're meeting to figure out what to do next." I remind him. Starshadow grumbles while I dry us.

You ok? Starshadow suddenly asks. I pause for a moment.

"I don't know if I'll ever be ok, but last night… It felt like the right step." I confess. Starshadow brightens up a bit before nuzzling into my neck. I smile just as warmly.

That's right. I may never be the same person I was, but I'm on the right track.

I'm not about to drag out her pain so long that she's practically useless. I'm not that cruel. I also know that she needs time to make her breakthroughs, so I'm sorry, Leilah! I promise that you'll be alright for a bit! On the plus side, she's going to be hunting a very familiar champion now. Wonder who she'll bump into on her journey besides the Kinkou order! Stick around to find out! For all you ordinary people out there, live your life to the extraordinary!.