HELLO!

It's me.

Sorry I was gone for 4 months.

Writers Block and Depression suck.

Thank you to the best BETA in the world, HeartofAspen!

I hope you enjoy and again, I'm truly sorry for the wait...

(I only own my own thoughts...)

Hermione sighed contentedly as she laid in her bed, looking up at the ceiling. It had been weeks since her birthday and today would be the day she told the world what she decided to do. She was due at the Burrow at noon to talk to Ron. It would be a long day but one that needed to happen.

"I guess I should get dressed and get this over with." Begrudgingly she sat up and sighed. To say Hermione was stressed-out was an understatement. After a few minutes, she stood up and put on the clothes she had laid out the night before.

A knock on the door stirred her from musing over the day. "Come in." Hermione finished fixing her hair so that she looked decent before turning around. "Draco!"

Draco chuckled as she started to blush. "I wanted to check on you, I know how much you're worrying about today." He walked closer and smiled. "I know you told me you want to do this, but are you sure? I could wait longer if you needed me to."

"No, I have to do the right thing. If I want to be with you, I have to do this. It is sweet that you are willing to wait for me though." Hermione kissed him on the cheek and moved back so he could see her outfit. "Is it too much? I wanted to look my best, the Weasleys have always been like a family to me."

"You look beautiful. I will be here when you get back." Draco smiled at her reassuringly and held her hand for a moment before turning and leaving the room.

As he shut her door, Hermione sighed and fidgeted with her bracelet. "I can do this, I have to. I just hope the rest of them don't hate me too after today." She and Draco had been inseparable for the last three weeks - it was time. Hermione smiled to herself as she thought back to when she had decided Draco was her choice.

"I think I am going to break up with Ron." Hermione sighed with a hint of sadness to her voice. She had thought long and hard on who she truly wanted to be with and dreaded hurting one of her best friends.

Blaise looked at her curiously. "Did you fully think this through? I mean, if I never had to deal with Weasley again I would love it, but I want this to be what you want."

Hermione bit her bottom lip, sadness in her eyes. "Yes, and it took me days to really figure it out. I like Ronald, but I feel like I like Draco more. I am going to hurt one of them either way but I can't put this off anymore."

A silence filled the space between them as Blaise tried his best to comfort his sister. He could sense the pain she was feeling but he knew it was best she didn't put this off any longer. They both looked up as Draco walked into the common room and paused.

"Is everything okay?" Draco hurried over to the sofa and sat on the other side of Hermione. "What's wrong?"

Blaise looked between the two of them and smiled sadly at Hermione. "I need to go find Daphne. Just come find me later, okay?" When she nodded at him, he stood up and left the two of them alone.

Hermione turned and looked at Draco, a sad look on her face. She sighed, emotionally defeated, and looked down. "I need to talk to you about something."

"What is it? You look upset." He reached out and held her hand. Draco didn't like seeing her look so sad. He caressed her knuckles gently and encouragingly.

"I made my decision…" She looked him in the eyes, fear swirling in her honey browns. After a few seconds, she continued, "I want to be with you, not Ron."

Draco's jaw dropped slightly before he composed himself and smiled gently at her. "Mi, are you sure? I don't want you to rush your decision on this. I just want you to be happy and to know I love you."

Squeezing his hand, Hermione took a deep breath before smiling shyly. "Well, I have thought hard about this and you make me feel amazing. I know we have had two different pasts but I also know you've changed. I have to break up with Ron before anything can be official between us, but I wanted to tell you that I am choosing you, Draco Malfoy."

"You don't know how happy you just made me, Mi." He pulled her close and kissed her, a warmth spreading through him. "I can wait forever just to have you be mine again." Draco intertwined their fingers and kissed the back of her hand. Hermione was going to be his again, and he couldn't be more excited.

They had been spending time getting to know each other better, but not doing anything that would make Hermione feel guilty. She couldn't wait until she told Ron the truth and could finally be with Draco officially. "It's time to go, I can do this."

Earlier that week, Professor McGonagall had made it so she could Floo over to the Burrow when she was ready. Hermione walked down to the common room and pulled a small pouch out of her pocket.

"The Burrow," she said as she threw the powder into the fireplace and walked into the green flames.

Arriving at the Burrow was different this time. Hermione felt like this would be the last time she ever saw them. She was caught off guard as Ron snuck up behind her and hugged her. Hermione screamed slightly and turned around in his arms.

"Ronald!" she shrieked as he grinned mischievously and kissed her. Sadness filled her heart as she knew soon he would treat her completely different. "Don't sneak up on me like that."

Ron looked at her curiously before continuing. "Sorry, Mione. I just really missed you, I haven't seen you in three weeks." He felt a pang of regret creep up as she looked nervously towards him. "Mum has lunch ready, she is excited to see you again."

Feeling fearful, Hermione gulped before following him. He hadn't written to her since that night, and he was being too nice. "I missed seeing you, too. I heard Harry would be here today."

"Oh yeah, Harry and Cho are at the table already. Poor Ginny was devastated when she heard those two had gotten back together. I guess sometimes our first crushes come back to haunt us." He laughed and led her to the kitchen, where a table full of friendly faces greeted her.

Harry noticed that Ron held Hermione's hand very tightly. Thinking he was just excited to see Hermione, he disregarded it. "Mione! I missed you these last few weeks. Ginny told us you have been busy as Head Girl." He grinned and looked over at Cho. "Remember I told you I was talking to Cho again? Well we became official last week."

Hermione grinned at Harry and let go of Ron's hand after he squeezed it tighter. "That's great news, I'm so happy for you!" She hugged him, then Cho, before sitting down next to Ron, her fingers tapping lightly on the table.

Soon Mr and Mrs Weasley entered the room and they started to eat. Things were going better than she thought they would. But she knew it would be after everyone finished eating that she had to worry about.

"So, Hermione, how do you like being Head Girl?" Mrs Weasley smiled at her as she finished eating. "Ron told me how busy you have been lately."

"Oh, it has been okay so far. All of the eighth years share a common room, and us Head students have our own private one to discuss our duties in peace. Not many problems have come up, thankfully." Hermione smiled and adjusted her bracelet as she took her last bite.

Harry laughed and took a sip of his drink. "So no drama since I have been gone then?"

Hermione smirked and couldn't stop the laugh that escaped her lips. "At least you admitted that you caused the drama."

"Haha, you are lucky you're my sister. Cho has my back, right?" Harry looked at Cho and pouted. "I don't enjoy the drama, right?"

Cho looked in thought a moment before laughing. "No, Harry, you just are a magnet for it. We are all used to it, so it's okay." She kissed his cheek and grinned.

"Ron agrees with me though." Harry looked at Ron and smiled hopefully. "Right, best mate?"

"Don't drag me into this, I don't want to get on either one of their bad sides." Ron laughed and kissed Hermione's cheek. "Hermione is usually right though."

Laughter filled the table as they talked about what was going on in their lives. Hermione missed her friends, but knew going back for her eighth year was worth it. She momentarily forgot about the Draco drama she was going through, until Ron got her attention.

They all sat at the table and were done eating dinner when Ron pulled her off to the side and asked her to walk outside with him. Hermione looked hesitant but stood up and followed.

"What's wrong?" Hermione asked as he led her to a bench in the backyard. Her hand was starting to hurt, as he held it even tighter then he had earlier.

Ron didn't answer as he reached the bench, his eyes a mix of sadness and anger. He sat next to her and couldn't look at her directly. "Ginny sent me a letter."

She swallowed hard and worry filled her features. "And what did she say to upset you?" Hermione tried to move her hand but he held onto it tightly, almost painfully.

"Just telling me what was going on at Hogwarts. She likes to watch from the shadows." He squeezed her hand even tighter. "You said we needed to talk in that last letter, so talk."

"You are hurting me, Ron. Let go of my hand please." Hermione sighed with frustration when he ignored her request. Tears threatened to fill her eyes and realisation hit her: Ginny had told him. Great, I should have known she would notice and run to Ron.

Finally, Ron let go of her and clenched his fist. How could you hate and love someone at the same time? "I want to hear it from you. Tell me now."

Hermione looked down guilty and massaged her hand. Her voice was soft as she spoke. "I love you, you are one of my best friends. My world shifted this summer and it has been tough to deal with." She looked at him and noticed he was turning red with anger. "I haven't told you this, but I remember something terrible that day you called me that name."

"You mean 'Mi'? That name? I used to call you that and it never bothered you before." Ron noticed the hurt shining in her honey eyes and sighed, thinking that maybe he should listen to her. "Go on."

"Well… It brought up a memory that I hadn't remembered yet… a memory of my first boyfriend." Tears filled her eyes as she went on, feeling not only sad but also worried that he might hurt her after he found out. "Let me tell you everything before you say anything, deal?"

He nodded solemnly before gently holding her hand this time. He still loved her but wanted to know the truth to what Ginny wrote about. "I promise."

Hermione swallowed hard before continuing. "I found out that he was someone in our year at Hogwarts, and my brother's best friend." She clenched her eyes shut, afraid to look at him. "It was Draco Malfoy." She felt him get off the bench and heard a pot breaking before he came back. "I'm sorry…"

"Why didn't you tell me? I would have still been there for you." Ron looked hurt, but waited for her to finish talking.

"I had not told anyone until we were on rounds one night and he had an attack, you know the kind like I get. Well, He kept calling me 'Mi' and I told him that was me, and that I remembered." Hermione's tears started to fall down her cheeks/ The hard part of this was coming too quick, in her opinion. "Then he kissed me."

Ron wanted to kill Malfoy to make him feel all the pain he could. "I will kill him…" A hand on his shoulder made him look at her glassy, tear-filled eyes. "I know, no talking." He sighed and kissed the back of her hand.

She looked at him before looking down again. "Please forgive me, but I kissed him back that night. It was like my old feelings took over but I felt terrible after. All I could think about was what I had just done to you." Hermione cried harder, feeling the shame of the truth coming out.

The only sounds in the backyard was Hermione sobbing as Ron looked heartbroken. She hated the silence, but she had asked him to stay quiet.

"I told him we couldn't be more than friends because I had you, and I wasn't going to do that again. So we are just friends and it has made the head duties so much easier."

All Ron could do was sigh deeply before pulling Hermione in for a hug. His heart was shattered, but he could see how much pain she was in also. "I wish I could be absolutely pissed at you, but I can tell you're telling the truth. I still want to kill him but you can't help what your parents did." He kissed the top of her head; tears now ran down his cheeks as well. "Thank you for being honest with me, and as much as it hurts, I think I have to end this. I don't want to compete for your feelings when I know you also used to care for Malfoy that way in the past."

"Ron, I'm so sorry. I have been trying to push those old feelings away but they seem to keep trying to come back. I do love you and always will. I don't want to lose you as my best friend." Hermione curled into him and laid her head on his shoulder, her tears soaking his shirt. "I had to tell you before I was unable to control all the feelings that are coming through. Do you forgive me?"

"I am upset with you, but I know you are going through a lot. I will always be your best friend, even if we aren't together anymore. Thank you for being honest with me, I forgive you for that kiss and will always be here if you need me." He held onto her for ten more minutes before chuckling to himself.

Hermione looked up at him confused, her heart still in pain. "What?"

He moved a curl that had fallen in her face and kissed her forehead. "I was a shit boyfriend, wasn't I? Of course it would be Malfoy, I used to notice you watching him all the time and not realising it. It always pissed me off because I wanted you to look at me like that."

"I did not! I watched him to make sure he wasn't up to anything evil. I didn't even know I had those feelings until that day," she cried defensively before sighing. "I can understand if you need me to leave. I would hate me, too." Hermione went to stand up before being pulled back to the bench, her bracelet pushed against his hand. "Let me leave…"

"I don't hate you, Hermione. I should have been a better boyfriend and then maybe we wouldn't be having this conversation. Harry warned me I should have written to you more and treated you better or I would lose you." He smiled sadly at her before kissing her lips gently. "It was both our fault this didn't work. You will still have me in your life, stop worrying." Ron looked down at her wrist and noticed the bracelet under his hand. He moved his hand and twisted it around on her wrist. "What is this?"

"Oh that is nothing, just something I had buried in my backyard as a kid that Draco dug up after I went into hiding. He kept it to give back to me if he ever saw me again. He was the only one who knew I had it. It brought back a piece of my childhood that made me smile." Realisation hit her that it would probably upset Ron that Draco had given her a present and hid her wrist.

Ron shook his head at her and pulled her wrist closer, studying the bracelet. "Of course, it's a Malfoy thing. Do you see the little M on the tail of that animal?" He dropped her hand and stood up, reaching a hand out for her. "Wipe your eyes and let's go talk in my room, it's getting chilly out here."

They walked into the house holding hands and went to his room, neither noticed the look of concern on Harry's face as he saw the sad looks on both of their faces.

Hermione didn't return to Hogwarts for a few more hours, and when she did, her eyes were puffy from crying and sadness was etched on her face. Blaise was sitting on the couch when she came through the Floo and hurried up to hug her tightly. She hugged him back and cried, her heart aching more than she thought it would.

"He was too nice to me, he should have been furious and yelled at me. All Ron did was understand and say he would still be my friend. I deserve to be yelled at, told I'm an idiot, a terrible person." She berated herself, tears falling harder. Hermione felt safe now that Blaise was there but still hated herself. Dropping to her knees, she let herself fall apart completely.

Blaise watched his sister, unsure what he could say to help her. It was killing him knowing how much pain she was in. "Hermione, let me take you to your room so you can lay down. You did the right thing." She allowed Blaise to help her to her room before collapsing on her bed. "You don't deserve to beat yourself up over this, you were honest with Weasley and he understood."

Hermione shook her head and cried into her pillow, still feeling that she was a terrible person. "Thank you for being there for me, Blaise, I am glad I have you back. But I want to be alone now." She turned her head and looked at the small dragon sitting on the side table. Grabbing the dragon, she curled up and closed her eyes.

Blaise left the room and knocked on Draco's door, He was worried his sister would keep beating herself up over this. When Draco opened the door, he saw the look of defeat on Blaise's face and looked across at Hermione's door.

"She's back, isn't she?" When he saw Blaise nod, he grabbed a shirt and threw it on. He had to check on her.

"She said she wanted to be alone. She feels guilty and upset about what happened. Give her a little bit before you knock, okay?" Blaise walked away from the door to go find Daphne. "Take care of my sister, Malfoy, or else."

Draco closed his door as he walked toward Hermione's room. He didn't care what Blaise said, he needed to make sure she was okay. "Mi?" He knocked lightly and heard a small 'come in' before opening the door and seeing her sitting on the bed, fresh tears on her cheeks and a stuffed dragon in her lap. "Oh, Mi, I'm so sorry."

Hermione smiled sadly at Draco as he hurried to the bed and hugged her tightly. It was exactly what she needed.