[Chapter version: 1.0, Beta-read by: Blue Funk]
Chapter 11
"Then let's be done with it," Dryden tightened the noose around his swarthy arm and laid it flat on the wooden armrest.
Millerna held the scalpel in her hand uncertainly. She disinfected the area and poised it above Dryden's skin. A visible bluish vein protruded on the inner side of his arm. Blood. Distributes air and life's energy throughout the body. She remembered a line out of one of the medicine books. He was looking in the other direction, his long wavy locks spilling down the white hospital gown. He looked healthy.
Yet.
Yet it was by her hand that he would not be so come tomorrow.
Her hands started shaking and her vision swam.
"What's wrong?" Dryden asked softly. "I'm not really a fan of needles and stuff, but don't let that faze you."
She could not take it anymore. How long was she supposed to pretend it was alright? He was doing this heroic deed but it was her hand that would land the possibly deadly blow. And how skilled was her hand, really? She had dissected dead bodies, dead organs before. But this was someone living, breathing. Someone she knew from all the way back when she was a child.
When the times were simpler, there were no heirs, no marriage proposals; not for her at least.
There was no oath to bind them anymore but there were memories that did just as well… she knew he was a good, selfless person, under all that wit and sarcasm. It's because of that that he chose this. And she… wasn't she being just the opposite, again?
She twirled away from him and threw the blade on the metal plate.
"I can't do it! I'm not experienced enough! Did I really think I could manage all this alone, or was escaping from Palas the most important thing. Oh gods. Had I lost my mind?!"
"Millerna…"
"It's too risky! You could become seriously infected… four in ten infected die…" She heaved, without even knowing why, covering her face with her hands. "Four in ten…" Then she caught herself.
"I should not be doing this," she murmured quickly in her distress. "It doesn't matter if it's a stranger or not. I should not apply double standards because I care about you. I am being unprofessional."
Before she knew it, Dryden stood up, turned her around and leaned in to kiss her. It was all a blur to her. Maybe it was the shock of it all, maybe she had lost her mind, but she let him. Her hands were trapped against his chest and his tall frame felt like it was enveloping her whole. And Jeture, he knew how to kiss. Somehow, it was exactly the way she needed now. She responded despite herself, blush creeping up her cheeks. It was the first time since their wedding. Their first real kiss. Possibly also last.
They wordlessly agreed on the point where it would end.
"Now you are being unprofessional," the merchant whispered close to her lips. His jade eyes drunk into hers without their usual sarcasm.
She tried to push away from him, her skin still flush. "Stop it. You cannot expect to put this on the table years after and act like nothing has changed. You left. And I am to marry another."
"I wish I could do it some other time…," the playful spark momentarily returned. "Sorry. I didn't want to guilt-trip you into this. But it may be that I'll be infected for the rest of my young life..."
He shrugged at her incredulous stare. "You said it yourself, four in ten."
Millerna opened her mouth to scold him. He was faster, as usual. "I hope that's the number without the Zaibach medicine and an amazing doctor to administer it."
"Don't talk like that. I cannot bear it! I will do anything I can to save you, but there are no guarantees."
"I know. I never expected any." Dryden just hugged her more closely to him again, his hand tangled in her hair. "But I feel like my hope is back. After I had almost lost it… so, you care about me, huh?" he said thoughtfully. Then he finally loosened his grip on her. She did not know if she still wanted him to.
"You really thought I didn't?"
"I don't know what I thought. Guess I just lost the courage to face you, for several reasons."
"I would not blame you for giving up, you know? I just… wished I knew what was going on," she whispered. "I never wanted to lose your… friendship, at the very least."
"Millerna, I know what I said back then, but I don't think I'll ever deserve you. I am still not the man I want to be. There seems to be too much suffering in the world for me to change anything."
She finally managed to break their contact, backing up a step, but her eyes never left his. "Dryden… It's not about that, you… you've done enough. I respect you for what you are doing."
"No… I didn't realize what a trap I laid out to myself. I should not be kind to people only to earn your favor. A fake like that will never deserve someone like you."
She shook her head. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm just a king's spoiled daughter. The most spoiled from all three."
Dryden tapped his chin a bit. "I don't know many spoiled princesses who would run away, to save a country that is not even her own, amidst the war no less. You've done it twice."
"Nevertheless, I barely know of the world beyond the castle walls, barely even know the country I'm supposed to rule!"
"And yet, you are the most honorable, compassionate person I know. Your beauty may be striking, but it has not blinded me to that."
"Please stop saying such things. You don't know me better than myself."
"No. But I still wish you could see yourself as I do," he spread his arms, arguing without hesitation, like he really did know better than her "You being here despite all reason, isn't it proof of your selflessness?" Then he paused and let them drop back to his sides in a sudden, unexpected defeat. "While my life until now… being a rich family son… has hardly taught me to be compassionate enough. Not when there's risk involved, at least. Time is running out and I don't know what to do, I don't think groveling on the floor will make you reconsider."
"Stop… You may not realize it, but you have likely done more for the people than I ever will. You have done enough for myself. This is not a question of that. I just had thought that… that you had given up, when I chose to pursue another."
It was his turn to shake his head in disbelief. "I told you, didn't I? My feelings for you have not changed. I still intend to make you fall for me."
"And what if it doesn't work out? I don't want to pretend it's alright anymore. And I don't want to hurt you!"
"If I should have my heart broken in this lifetime, I would want it to be by you," the merchant said passionately. The lopsided grin found its way back to his face.
"You fool," she said, tears audible in her voice despite her will. "If you're saying you love me, then how come it's not broken already? I didn't wait for you… I… Do you even know how much it hurts? Realizing your love will never be returned…"
"No, because you gave me hope. I will have it even if you decide to marry that royal jerk. Because I know we belong together. Now more than ever…"
She chuckled bitterly. "I may crush that hope of yours, you realize…? Stomp all over it!"
"You seem to be speaking from experience," Dryden's eyes narrowed slowly. "Has anyone broken your heart, Millerna? I might try to break his face, I don't even care even if he were an elite knight, and his face would make it seem a waste. Would that make you feel better?"
"Dryden…"
"Millerna… did you blame Schezar for what happened?"
"Maybe I did for a while, but mostly, I blamed myself. I was the one who ran after him after all," she admitted, perhaps for the first time, even to herself.
"Good. Then I'll be the one who ran after you. Unless you still have hopes…"
"No," she shook her head resolutely. If she wasn't sure of that at least, she could never respect herself enough to make her will be worth something. "It's over. You can trust me on that."
"I do trust you. As your patient. As your subject. As whatever you want me to be. And I love you more than you ever loved that man, because I will never give up. Marry whomever you want. I never tried to seduce a married woman, you know?"
Millerna was rendered speechless. On the other hand, she had missed this confident Dryden, she realized. He hadn't appeared properly since they were reunited.
"I do not want to marry Gilles. There was a mild infatuation... before I got to know him better. But he's a part of the reason I ran away."
"Jeture, does that one need a broken nose as well?" Dryden moaned to himself. "Do they always have to be warriors and the like?"
"I cannot simply use you just for avoiding my fiancé. As I said… I do care about you, Dryden. But the court… everyone expects me to marry already, to secure Asturia's future."
"I'm not asking you to marry me right away; that was a mistake the first time... All I ask for is a chance."
"There's nothing like 'a chance'. Not before the court…! Everyone's eyes will be on us."
"Fine then, let's elope!"
"What?!" she gasped in disbelief. This is why talking to him was impossible. There was no knowing what he would propose or say.
"Let's start a secret relationship. Nobody will know. If you decide to end it, I will never tell a soul, I swear."
"That's so you, Mr. Fassa," she walked over to the window. "So grand yet reckless! Besides, if we do something like that, everyone will know."
"What will they know?" she heard him say, "This is not Asturia. Nobody cares if we leave together. Everything else is just a rumor."
Millerna shook her head, still looking out on the street, devoid of life, the people hiding in fear. If not me, who will save them? If not Dryden, then who?
"Come on. Inject me. And if I survive, let me take you on a journey. I'll show you the most beautiful places of Gaea. That elopement… was just a figure of speech. We can leave as friends, or just travel companions, if you prefer. No strings attached or any hidden catches..."
She briefly considered that, but before the fantastical pictures of foreign countries and adventures she only read about or heard from Master Shaifa could bloom in her mind, she forced them to stop. "I couldn't… father's condition… and Eries…"
"Gaea won't end because you think of yourself a bit. Come on, Millerna. Be a little selfish. I swear you won't be able to once you are the Queen. Or once you get married, whichever comes first."
"I have been selfish for a long time in fact, Dryden… you should know that," she looked down in shame. She had been ready to give up on her country, on all the duty that by some cruel streak of destiny landed on her shoulders….
"Maybe so, but you were never free. You just need to be young, to be unbound, if just for a while. I know what that experience is like and there are not many things I would exchange it for. If I can't make you fall for me, you will at least have that memory."
"I can't agree to it until I've decided. Even in this situation, I will be honest with you."
Dryden nodded. "I always appreciated that about you, Princess."
"And I'm not going to pretend it's not serious, either," she continued. "I hope you have understood as much from my hesitation to do that to you."
"Despite your hesitation, the decision should be mine. So come on, do your thing, Doctor," he sat back in the chair. "I want to make things right by the Fanelians. Do not take it away from me."
"Dryden, one last time: this could kill you."
He stretched to take one of her hands and looked at her earnestly. "No, I think this can save me. No matter what happens. You can save me."
She squeezed back and nodded.
Someone's following!
Her running-induced quick pulse still managed to jump a bit. Why would anyone in Fanelia decide to follow her? Unless… the enemy was already on to them. Or… it was… no, no way he would go after her after she left him behind.
She smarted her ears and slowed her pace a bit… and heard footsteps behind her on the cobblestone. They could be an echo of her own, and yet they weren't. The streets were narrow, making it easy to hide. But the sounds of her follower's steps still resounded over the seemingly empty morning city; the sound of her running sneakers could hardly get so loud.
Hitomi was running up until then, too, but finally it felt like she would have something tangible to escape from, besides her most recent memory.
Like with the memory before, she made it her immediate goal to shake the follower. She was confident she could do it, unless it really was who she had considered.
It was stupid of me to teach him dowsing, she realized. Now I can never escape…
Whoever it was that followed her seemed to not want to show themselves, waiting behind corners, avoiding being seen. That didn't seemlike him, alright.
She didn't know whether to be disappointed, but something in her refused to acknowledge that she may indeed be in danger. Probably because that would make him right. And her stupid.
Hitomi played the game for a few minutes, pretending she didn't know that the person was after her. But she was preparing herself... and as soon as a chance would appear…
She stopped abruptly and turned around, catching a glimpse of her follower just before he could duck behind some ruin of the building. Oh..? So you think you can keep up with a trained athlete in that getup?
Her follower was a boy with a bandana and full samurai armor. Much like the other one Van was sending off this morning, when she finally spotted his back near the stables in her angry stride:
"Van!" she had yelled unceremoniously as soon as she had spotted him; in case he would ride off on the saddled beast the samurai was holding by its reins.
But it had been the young soldier whose shocked face turned to greet her, while his king kept his back to her.
"…Lord Van, I mean."
Smooth, Hitomi, just smooth.
"As I said. This is for chieftain Ruhm. Get it to his hands. Don't stay in the wolf dominion for long. And don't get into close contact with anyone there."
"Yes, Lord Van!"
After the rider had bowed and galloped off, Van turned back and started walking past her with little regard, back to the Nest. There was a hunt being organized for tomorrow, that much she had heard. And she'd bet there was much more to take care of. But Hitomi had her own agenda, one that sent her searching for him all across the city.
"Why did you ban me from entering the hospital? And Millerna's clinic, even?!"
She had to almost jog at times to keep up with him as he started to walk off with his long strides.
"Because I guessed right that you would want to go there, against all reason."
"But I want to help!"
She had been willing to risk it, and her embarrassment had been acute when she was forcibly prevented from entering the premises by the ever-present samurai. Most of them were either very young, no doubt a result of the aftermath of the Zaibach attack. They must have survived it because they had been children then. But their loyalty was unbending and they would not budge an inch, despite her protests. Merle had already disappeared inside the building, and Millerna just shrugged helplessly. It was somebody else she had to convince.
"You cared little what I wanted and still came to my country. Unfortunately, it's my rules here."
"I am neither a citizen of Fanelia, nor your subject!"
"Very well. I have enough of those to do my bidding. If you want a guard assigned to you at all times, I can still spare one or two."
That must have been it. That must have been the origin of her follower. How foolish of her not to think of that in the first place.
"Am I a prisoner, then?"
"If it was me doing this, you would call me reckless. Why don't you at least wait for the serum to be ready?"
"Merle is in there, so why are you not making a fuss about her?!"
"She is trained and wanted to learn more."
No. You are not a prisoner, Hitomi. You are just a nuisance.
"I may know more than she does! The medicine and science back home are so much more–"
"Fine!"
He stopped right in his tracks, finally letting her catch up and face him. Somehow, this seemed familiar. He would always get bristled when she compared her planet to his. She did not mean it in a demeaning way but there was no doubt in her mind which of the two was the more advanced. Which used to make her tongue slip like this quite often.
"Do you know why? Unlike you, Merle's not afraid."
"…What?!"
"You wanted to escape all this, remember? This awful planet…"
If you want to run, then run.
It was then she understood the true meaning of that.
"This is what you meant on the ship, isn't it? I decided to run away that time, so I should stay away."
"You are worried and scared…"
Yes, deep down, she was. How could those cold embers see right through her, when he was such an enigma to her now? Was it pity he looked at her with? Or worse…?
"…so why do you force yourself to do these things?"
It's your anxiety that makes all the bad things happen.
There was that hard question she had been wanting to ask him, deep inside. She hadn't known if she would ever find the courage to… but if anything could make it easier to get it out, it was that anger and frustration she was feeling right then.
"Do you blame me for leaving Gaea?"
Why is your heart pounding so much? What are you so afraid to hear, Kanzaki?
"No… It was for the better. You are safer…"
She could not remember, or had been unable to hear any more of what he said. Underneath her fears of being blamed, she found an even deeper wound exposed again. Reopened.
They don't need you. In fact, they're better off without you.
She couldn't face the sting anymore… so she turned her back on him. And she couldn't stay still. So…
"I'm gonna take your suggestion. My version of swinging the sword around, if you will."
She remembered him saying her name tiredly then, like she was an unruly child. In his charts, she definitely had to be. She was supposed to sit this one out in her chamber up on the floating rock, so why did she have to insist on adding to his misery?
Because that's not why I'm here!
And she had ran away, pretending it was just a simple morning jog. Not that it looked natural or normal or people of Gaea did anything like jogging. She could only pretend.
The city streets, the alleys, the narrow corners. She could navigate them well, but it was not thanks to dowsing. It was simply because she had no clear goal in mind, letting her instinct choose the direction at every crossroad. There was no purpose. Finding it was.
How vague. Isn't that the same as running away?
She was running away from those questions that came up, wasn't she? Being blamed for leaving Gaea… Van had asked her to help him win this war that weighed down on everybody, hadn't he? Allen wanted to take care of her to ease the loneliness in his life.
The war wasn't won, didn't end, and people kept suffering for it. The loneliness didn't cease either. Hitomi's decision could still be seen as selfish one, as if she'd been thinking only of herself when she left.
So, had she really been making things worse with her powers and her worries then?
Was her presence still a danger, even now?
Hitomi ran faster, in a last spurt of frustrated energy.
Should I have stayed? Or stayed away?
She must have run a few kilometers already. The young soldier was nowhere to be seen anymore; she seemed to have really shaken him off. Her sprint turned into a light jog again. Running like that without any kind of prior stretching; well, that was not going to be easy on her later. She didn't have any solutions to her questions, but she still felt better by the effect of the exercise itself.
If only she had something to run to.
But how can you run towards something that isn't even found yet?
Running towards something. Like at the airport of Palas. She had been running towards a situation that she knew was going to be difficult. She wasn't running away; she was running to. Her fears weren't going to make her companions suffer; she was worried because she cared. It was about her own point of view.
If you want to run, then run.
You've made a decision. Just stick to it.
She spotted some temporary shelters on the horizon, on a clearing just at the ridge of the woods. It looked that she had reached one of the city limits. Her eyes even caught a few people moving around, curiously. She had not seen anyone during her run, sans her follower.
Finally, having calmed down, she decided to check it out. It may be difficult, even dangerous. Her reputable friends were away for the time being, and she would have to fend for herself.
I will run, Hitomi decided, flicking her sweat-plastered hair off her forehead. She would face her fears from now on. I want to know what happened to Gaea, how the people live and feel. Yes, she was scared to see the suffering… but knew she would see a lot of strength as well. For the time she'd been given on this planet, she would try to live as one of her own. That's the only way I can ever gain back that purpose I had lost.
She walked over slowly to meet the company. It seemed like a provisional camp, with people working around the area. Some men were cutting wood, the women were washing clothes in large wooden tubs. Others were just stretched lazily on rough benches and seats made of tree trunks.
Fortunately, the upper layer of her outfit, a combination of Millerna's hand-me-downs and the cape gifted to her by Allen, didn't seem to stand out as her school's sailor uniform would.
Suddenly, a young boy ran out from among the tents, giggling. Two girls rushed after him, their skirts bunched up. "Yuneri! Just wait until I catch you!" The giggling boy rushed past her, only to hide behind her skirts and peek at his followers while Hitomi did at him, amused. The girls were fuming.
"Leave the young lady alone, what are you thinking? What kind of man hides behind a girl's skirts?"
"And what kind listens to his sister?" the boy stuck his tongue out back at her. Oh, this was all so very familiar.
Hitomi grabbed the fasteners on his back. "Unfortunately for you, young man, I am an older sister, too."
The boy started to struggle, but the girls had already made their way over to them. The sister got a hold on him in her stead, meeting her eyes with an exhausted understanding. The boy started to struggle even harder but his sister seemed to have enough power to keep him down, even if her frame was slight. She had the dark hair of Fanelians and a pretty, if maybe a tad wide face. The friend was taller and fairer, but her complexion and posture spoke more of the hardships they probably had to endure in the past months.
"I'm sorry for that bother, miss. My brother is quite the handful. Thanks for catching him, you saved me a lot of running. My name is Gisa, and this is Isola. You look a bit tired; would you like to come and have some water?
"I'd be happy to!" she said earnestly. "I'm Kanna." Hitomi still gauged it was for the best to keep her identity hidden. She had learned the hard way it was better not to stand out and attract trouble.
"You're not from around here, are you?"
"From Asturia." Her clothes should suggest as much, well, maybe except her running shoes that still completed almost any outfit of hers. Plus, she could at least answer some of the questions about the seaside country believably.
"You don't look quite Asturian though," some of the men near the fire entered the conversation without invitation.
"Good morning," she acknowledged them, her mind racing for an explanation behind her looks. Allen had said she was… from the East, hadn't he? "My father was a… travelling tradesman. From around the East. He settled in Asturia eventually."
"Gisa… why do you bring strangers so happily to our camp? We put it up just to protect ourselves from the sickness."
"Don't mind him, Kanna," she whispered to her. "It's the uncalled-for leader of this camp, Ravo. At the same time, the biggest grump around." If that isn't the qualification for leadership here, Hitomi thought humorlessly.
Yet, many mistrustful eyes were suddenly on her and Hitomi thought she should defend herself. "I just started working for the Fassa company. But I haven't met any of the sick, I swear! I just came from Palas with him recently."
"We would ask you to show your ankles for the mark of the disease, but you seem to show them happily," the men commented on the topic of the length of her, by 21st century Earth means, more-than-a-modest skirt. The first signs of the disease were showing in the areas where the veins pushed close to the skin: ankles, wrists, elbows… Millerna said it was without an exception.
"Damn, bad time for coming here, isn't it? Why would you do that now, seeing as this cursed malady has overtaken the town?"
"Actually, I'm thinking of settling here, in Fanelia. I made that decision even before the sickness."
The men seemed amused. "An Asturian girl, looking to settle in Fanelia. The world must be really coming to an end."
"It's thanks to the Fassa company. We never had so many foreigners moving in," Ravo stated. She wasn't sure it was meant as a positive remark.
"Times changing," another man drawled aimlessly
Hitomi took a gulp of the fresh water the girls gave her as she racked her brain making up a story for her character on the go. Yes, she could have been honest, but well… this was probably an easier way to get them to trust her. Sharing her own identity wasn't as much of a problem, but talking about her royal companions… she felt like it would feel like bragging of sorts, and they would grow even more wary around her.
It wasn't too bad to pretend to be normal, now, was it? Perhaps she got used to it too much back on Earth, where she was doing it all the time. Besides, she didn't know how much longer she would have to stay here. Wouldn't hurt to explore her options as a single woman trying to make her living on Gaea. How would she do without her influential friends? Would she make it?
"So why are you not working at Fassa's warehouse, again?"
"I'm off today. Is there any way that I can help you?" she asked gingerly.
"Hmm, maybe. Rider came this morning, saying there's a big hunt come tomorrow. Capable men were asked to join. Others to help prepare the dishes for the feast after, which is to be held here."
"We will have to find that much more earthfruit and maybe some herbs…" Isola moaned. "If you feel like helping, you can join us?"
"Is there a struggle for food?"
"Well, the imports helped us survive the winter quite well, but nobody is willing to eat them now."
"I see. You think the sickness may come from them?"
"Are you an envoy of Fassa's here to convince us otherwise?" the camp leader by the fire deadpanned.
"No. I'm just here to help pick some herbs and earthfruit," she bowed down slightly and returned the empty water cup.
The better part of the day was spent in the woods, but not too deep. That was the realm of the beastmen, the girls explained. And dragons. The next day, the hunting company of the king would delve deeper, but the foragers just kept to the forest fringes and the clearings. After the hasty introductions, everyone got a basket or a simple wide sheet they strapped around their body to form a sort of a bag, and off they went.
Hitomi kept a careful eye on her companions, not to lose sight of them and get lost in the forest. This was still an unfamiliar area to her, though the girls navigated it with ease. They met with some more of the women and children, talking a bit to them as well. One of the older women gifted her a worn blue scarf to tie around her hair that was already quite long for her standard, as she had decided against getting her routine short crop before the planned trip with her friends, choosing a longer bob just that time.
Even so, her hair was still not long enough to gather all of it in a ponytail. Each time she bowed down to pick something, she had to fix it back behind her ears. These people were too practical to have any of that. Gisa and Isola's hair was tied in buns and braids as well, and the married women covered theirs with little caps usually. Receiving the scarf, she bowed down deeply out of habit and tied it on her head. "The color suits you! Keep it!" the older woman laughed. Hitomi smiled back, touched by her generosity knowing that they did not have much.
She felt like she could almost fit in in all of her scavenged disguise. Except, she served as a great amusement to the group for not recognizing the roots, leaves and early mushrooms they were after. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you are trying to poison us, Kanna!" Gisa was catching her breath in bouts of laughter.
Hitomi flushed angrily, blabbering something about Asturian fish and fruit.
Small Yuneri seemed to take pity on her, and brought some of the "earthfruit" to be put into her painfully empty pouch and ran off. He could be sweet one minute, and cheeky the next. Just like Mamoru, her own little brother.
Well, she called him little, but he would graduate high school next year. As a big sister, she was already worried for his future. Did he still skip on his cram school to sneak out to the game parlor with his friends? How did he take her… whatever it was that happened to her? Maybe he got all serious. That would be most shocking.
But he would have to grow up eventually, wouldn't he?
I should do something when I get back. Buy him a beer secretly or something. That would be something a cool sister would do. Like in a TV drama. She prevented herself from shedding any tears with a sad little snort and went back to look for the gifts of the forest.
The only thing she recognized right from the start were the shrimp-tasting bugs from a long time ago that could be found under some stones or dead tree roots. But after being shown a few times, she could easily make out the sprouting leaves they collected, the top of the plant they searched for its roots and the edible mushrooms as well. Except, none of them were too common to find at all and she really had to keep her eyes peeled. Their pickings were scarce. It was still way too early in the spring, apparently, and nature was just waking up.
That was the main complaint around the fire later in the afternoon, as they came back and the whole camp evaluated their findings spread out on the sheets of fabric. Sitting down around the fire next to the other gatherers, her short hair covered and a bowl of simple broth in her hands, nobody was paying too much attention to her anymore.
The Fanelians were none too pleased with the slim pickings but nothing more could be done. And they needed to do this almost every day to sustain themselves now, or so she understood.
From the talks she heard back in the woods, their palate was normally different. It was just that after the war, and with all the essential reconstruction work going on, the farming had deteriorated. Hitomi didn't need to see much to understand they were on the edge of starvation. There were Dryden's imports, of course, but after the infection fiasco, nobody would as much as go near them, as the man by the fire said.
They were suffering uselessly, of course.
From what she knew about diseases, the grain and vegetables were safe if washed properly. Even meat was, if heated enough. She had shared with Millerna all that she knew on their way and yesterday evening, before they went to sleep.
The princess seemed to have believed her, saying she suspected as much. They ate the Fassa company food themselves at the fortress, after Merle thoroughly instructed the cooks on how to prepare it based on what she had said. It was the most surprising that she, of all people, took Hitomi's advice without as much as a word of complaint.
These people, well, that could be more difficult. They had no reason to believe her like her friends had. And if she revealed the reason why they could trust her on this, they would even less.
But if the hunger went on for much longer though, Hitomi doubted they would keep refusing even the foreign food…
No bad enough meal for an empty stomach, she recalled, looking at her simple and salty soup, missing a good, hearty ramen or even a plain breakfast miso. Maybe time and hunger will ease their wariness.
Or not. And worse still, the starving dog doesn't fear the stick.
Hunger… could spur social unrest. It could have even aided the quick spread of the disease.
The king who cannot feed his people is doomed, she realized with a dropping stomach.
She understood then why the hunt was so important. The girls said they could salt up and dry the meat, and it could sustain them for a good while… depending on the haul, of course.
The company settled on making another trip to the forest tomorrow morning, hoping to find some more stuff. Feeding themselves and the hunting company from all around the city was not going to be easy.
"Lucky, those who are already sick in the hospital," she heard a bitter complaint among other voices. "They can eat the imported crop, hassle-free! It's not like they can get sick a second time…"
"Oh shut up, you drunk. It's our friends and fellow countrymen, how dare you."
The Drunk waved off that opinion. It seemed that he was not taking the current difficult situation too well…
"We just need to hold on for a bit more," another, more optimistic opinion was heard. "Just a few turns and it's gonna be Green! The meadows will bloom, the animals will take out their young… this winter needs to end already!"
"It's White, you buffoon, White!" Ravo corrected the younger man. "The month our new king was born. It's been such for five springs already; when are you going to learn that?"
The month Van was born? It was spring when she was here the last time as well, yet she knew nothing of it. Did they even celebrate birthdays here? Anyway, it looked like he got a whole month changing its name for him. Like an emperor or something. Wow.
"It's a stupid rule from the start. What exactly says 'king' or 'white' about him? If anything, he looks the part of a foreigner in his military getup… So how am I supposed to remember? "
"It's white like the Protector guymelef! And the king's ancient armor, you fool!" Ravo seemed grumpy as Gisa had said, but at least sensible.
The Drunk, on the other hand, seemed to revel in the controversy he stirred with his audacious words: "And who is supposed to remember that the king exists at all? He's never even here."
Another young voice piped in. "True. Besides, shouldn't a king be someone old and respectable?"
The camp leader sighed impatiently before he had to give just another lesson in reason. "What, you think kings fall down from sky? Every king was a young boy once."
"Yeah, but not every king takes upon ruling at such a young age," a middle-aged man said. "The previous king, old Goau, he had played his full until he had seen almost twenty-five summers. Only when his father had to lie down sick was he sent to slay a dragon. He still liked fighting more than anything. It wasn't until a few years later, that he had brought a woman back with him from an enemy castle raid. And finally settled down, enshrining Escaflowne in the cathedral."
"Well, it looks like His Majesty takes after his Father, so will I even see another queen in my lifetime?" an aged voice moaned.
"Oh, I'm sure the advisors chew his ears often about it. Our country is heirless, our king fighting on distant battlefields. What future does the main house have? The secondary families must already be rejoicing."
"They have long learned not to celebrate too early. The main house has a strong root, and won't be removed easily. Even if the male line died out, the daughters carried it with strong issues and the Fahn blood returned to the throne."
"And the courtesans, don't forget the powerful concubines, ha!" Rough laughter of the men filled the clearing.
"We have nothing now, though; no sons, no bastards, not even damn concubines," one of the somber ones said.
"Yes, if Aris the Holy didn't banish polygamy as immoral and didn't throw out the courtesans from the castle, maybe the main branch would not have such problems now."
"Nevertheless, the secondary branches just never got much of a foothold."
"Maybe so, but it is down to one boy now, who seems not too interested in the affairs of his own country," Ravo threw a log into the fire irately.
"Yes, our king prefers playing soldiers who knows where!"
She wanted to say something, but words got stuck in her throat. After all, didn't she use the same complaint against Van not too long ago? Right into his face. As if she didn't know it wasn't quite his own choice. She studied the dust below her in shame.
"Well, if he prefers to fight, then he may fall to the sword, like others who do. Gods know what would happen to Fanelia after that."
He doesn't prefer it. He used to hate it, she remembered. But now… she could see how even that might be an escape from the misery that awaited him back home.
"We are kingless one way or the other," the Drunk deadpanned, spreading disapproving but also fearful murmurs all over the area.
"That's enough! I wonder if you would be as brave to say such dung before the samurai. They would beat the living daylights out of you. Or arrest you."
"Well, let them throw me into prison," the Drunk bowed cynically. "Then His Majesty, Van the Absent, the King of Rubble As Far As the Eye Can See shall feed me!" This time, a few snickers could be heard as well, but nobody else seemed to be willing to voice their disapproval openly like the sozzled man.
Dammit Van, are you even aware of this, or is the war really all you think about?
Hitomi saw the camp leader tighten his hands on the axe he was leaning against as he sat.
"Ruy… disrespect the king before me once again and I myself–"
"He doesn't fight for himself; can't even his own countrymen understand that?" she couldn't hold herself back from saying anymore. "When people from other countries put their faith in him, no less!"
The men glared at her. She was the first woman to even speak up in the conversation, and hoped strongly it was just a coincidence and not a rule. If women had not even the right to speak up in a conversation like this, how could she make them listen to what it was she had to say?
"People of other countries are not his people! Escaflowne is meant for guarding Fanelia!" It was because of that guymelef that Fanelia fell, she bit her tongue. There was much superstition here at play, but who was she to attack their beliefs?
"Your country is still on Gaea, isn't it? He fights for you! For Fanelia having a future!" At least she hoped that. She hoped this wasn't about revenge, that this was more about saving the future from Dornkirk's dystopian dreams.
Finally, someone took her side, though he didn't share her views completely. "The girl is right. None of us are worthy of criticizing the king! He feels he must avenge those who died. Say, who of you has not lost someone in the attack?! Maybe he just didn't get complacent in his revenge like you did."
"Don't be ridiculous. What can Fanelia do against an Empire like Zaibach?!"
"I don't know what Fanelia can do; but our king alone can, and continues doing so."
But at what cost? she added in her mind. Did these people understand fully that the 'playing' involved risking his life on the battlefield while was gone?
No… of course they did. It was her for whom this was so foreign and so hard to understand. These people knew death and pain, it was never too far away from them. Her great-grandfather died in the war, but since then, her family didn't know hunger, cold or sickness. She was sure they made people rougher, harder.
Rarely kinder or more forgiving, she concluded.
"Then why are we getting cursed again and again? Is it because the spirits of the fallen have not been avenged yet?"
"And have they not? Those who attacked Fanelia are dead, by the hand of our king. The curse must be more about him staying out of his country, if you ask me."
"Yes, all the main culprits are dead, all but one. The traitorous Folken." Hitomi felt a chill run down her spine, but all she heard around were sounds of approval. "That's the real offense to the gods. That the damnable turncoat is allowed to live! Why didn't King Van deal with that already, if his goal is revenge? How can he spend so much time in Asturia, where that traitor is welcome at the king's very table?"
She felt a lump in her throat and understood some of Van's struggle. It wasn't easy to sway the public by any means. And it would seem they quite unanimously demanded Folken's punishment.
"Perhaps His Majesty's heart has softened over the years; he is his brother, after all."
I wish, Hitomi thought. But the public opinion seemed to be quite the opposite to her own. She was surprised how these people she had considered generally kind could be overcome by revenge and anger.
Anyone could be led astray like Folken was: for example, by this senseless anger. But not everyone would realize their mistakes and repent like he did. What would this anger and desire for revenge bring them, other than regret?
Without a doubt, they had the right to become like this, having seen their country burn and loved ones perish… but the road to peace had a different direction… why couldn't they see! And why didn't she have more courage and smart words to speak up against that view? She bowed her head down in shame yet again.
And that was still not the end of it.
"Both brothers from a cursed mother. This all started when the king married a woman of the legendary demons. Now all Fanelia pays the price!"
Hitomi winced yet again. Not this… please.
"Bollocks! Didn't we have bad crops, floods and sickness even before that? Your grandparents could tell you. If we continue to live in despair and fear, we will curse ourselves on our own."
"True. The king has already reclaimed Fanelia, and he will eventually defeat Zaibach, mark my words!" the optimistic guy that took her side said. "The other kingdoms can only wish to have a ruler so honorable and valiant! "
"You are naïve like a little child!"
"And you whiny like one!"
"He is here now, isn't he, the noble hero. Let's see how well he can do against this sickness. Let's see which blood is stronger; that of the first king or that of the cursed Draconians."
"It's not about that at all. Blood alone does not make you a good or a bad king," she said. It would be a bit controversial to say even back home in Japan, where one family has ruled for centuries… but it was her belief.
"That's a very Asturian thing to say, alright," Ravo grumbled. "Don't compare our two countries, ours is not built on intrigue and treachery. The gods gave us a king, and if he is an unfortunate one, maybe the fault is in ourselves."
"You don't know that. The blood of the first king has the power to protect and bless. So why doesn't the king use it?"
"Ravo has a point," an older woman spoke finally. She was sitting next to Malia, the one who had gifted her the blue scarf, but Hitomi did not know her. "We ourselves don't have enough faith anymore. Not in our king, not in our gods, not even in the good that is in the people."
She saw several people shift sheepishly.
"Moreover, we neglected the rites. Because of the hunger, we failed to properly offer to the Twin Goddesses. They are kind to even provide us as much as they have."
"The Elder has a point. Look at Yuneri over here, ten rotations this summer, hasn't seen the Rite of Providence. It's no wonder such misfortune befalls us. The gods must frown at us for abandoning the Rites!"
"It is clear why the Archpriest is hesitant to involve the king! It's the blood of the cursed race!" the Drunk insisted pessimistically. Hitomi wondered what made him like he was. She suspected a personal misfortune, though, and tried not to be judgmental.
"This is the only king we have!" the old woman countered. "His blood has a power to protect and bless. Or do you think Yago or his blood would do better?"
"Gods save us from that old mountain fox!" somebody hissed. "He knows nothing of the city and is hard like a sole of a boot. Not even the guymelef would respond to him!"
"When Escaflowne has accepted King Van," the woman said and Ravo agreed: "He alone slayed a land dragon, got its energist and entered a blood contract with the protector guymelef, confirming that he is the true son of King Goau."
"And if you call yourself a believer, then you should, too!" the elderly woman said, turning her face to the sky. "Who are any of us to deny Them?"
All that the people said still filled Hitomi's thoughts on her return walk. It was not like she needed to pay attention to the road, with the dark fortress becoming visible over the roofs more often than not. She wouldn't get lost this time.
The situation weighed down on her all the more, seeing it firsthand among the people. What was it that could be done, though? She briefly considered keeping the scathing words to herself, but eventually settled on telling Van. If she must assume the role of the bearer of bad news permanently, then so be it. Still… what she saw and heard shook even herself. He had so much on his plate, and she was sure she hadn't heard all of it. She pondered it the whole way back, what he should do… what he could do, even.
But perhaps that rite… perhaps they would feel more protected, more connected to him as their king. He was always ready to suffer, he would sacrifice himself for them, but they needed to see that.
They needed to see he cared.
Before she knew it, she stood under the large shadow of the fortress. Now what, she sighed inwardly, her secret pride at the young soldier never finding her evaporating fast. She did not know the whistle signal, did not even know how to whistle as loudly as Van had the day before. Maybe she should go to Millerna's clinic?
She sat down on a stone step for a while first, stretching her tired legs and pained feet, tired from their whole day's use. She closed her eyes for what felt like just a minute. When she opened them again, an old man was standing in front of her.
"Lady Hitomi, aren't you? I'm Ademar, I remember you from the king's naming ceremony!"
"Ah," she blushed, being caught off-guard. "Nice to meet you. You must have a brilliant memory, then."
"You kind of stood out between the guests of honor. And you stood out also among the current royal guests," the old man winked. "What are you doing here all alone?"
She stood up, smiling awkwardly. "I'm thinking of how to get up, to be honest."
"Ah, that!" he said, lifting his bony hands to his face. He produced a surprisingly loud sound from his shrunken frame.
"Do you have business with the king?" Hitomi asked to fill out the silence as they were drawn up in a basket. "I always do. I'm the Preceptor." At her no doubt quizzical expression, he added: "His Majesty's former teacher and current advisor, sitting on the Privy Council… well… at least while I still have a bit of wit about me. And until my loudmouthed son insults the king enough to throw us both out," he chuckled.
Didn't seem like he was too worried about that. Hitomi recognized that reconciled attitude only some old people had, after living a fulfilled life. He also seemed more important than his looks suggested at first. By his age, he must have known Van's father, perhaps even grandfather.
In a few minutes, they were up in the fortress, just to catch the company just starting the dinner that was served right in the meeting room. The guards opened the door for them, and the Preceptor showed himself in the doorframe first. Hitomi stayed behind. She was mentally preparing for yet another confrontation that she just knew would come, after today's events.
The old man bowed down in the doorframe. "Your Majesty. Your Highness. I apologize, I had thought you would be past dinner at this time."
"Ademar. Come join us," she heard the king acknowledge him.
"After you, young lady," the old man said and she entered the room gingerly. As the king saw her, his dissatisfied frown changed into a straight-out glare, before he tore his eyes away, swiping his goblet off the table and taking a gulp without another word. She tried her best to keep her expression calm and neutral all the while.
But maybe that was even more provoking.
"Oh look, the lost puppy is found," Millerna said, smiling slightly.
"Where on Gaea have you been?" Merle hissed.
"Just about. I hope the boy was not punished too severely for losing sight of me," she said in Van's general direction as she was helped to her seat by the Preceptor. She bowed down her head at him in thanks.
Hitomi was really thankful for the elder's presence that probably saved her from having to endure more scolding. But there was one regret: she had wanted to discuss with her friends what she heard out there today, and was hoping to do it in private. But even she could feel that Van respected, if not trusted this man, so perhaps she would be able to try anyway. She would just have to wait out the right moment.
The topic of the discussion inevitably became the disease, anyway. Millerna described the current situation at the hospital and said Dryden underwent the planned procedure. Hitomi did not miss how her hand squeezed her silk napkin tight on the table.
"He is taking it well so far," she said. "But the worst of the symptoms have yet to show. I will have to come back to him, soon. Good news is, some of the patients reacted well to the Zaibach medicine, especially the young ones. Perhaps we can cure more of them now."
"That's great news, isn't it?" Hitomi exclaimed.
"It is," the princess said, "but then, we don't have an unlimited supply of it. What we need to do is to stop the spreading. Only the inoculation can do that. It's impossible to isolate all the sick ones at this point."
"You said you can prepare the serum using Dryden's help?"
"Yes. I hope I can do it… but…" Millerna sighed. "By the time he has the sores I need… the antibiotic may be ineffective."
"Are you saying you may not be able to collect the material from him?" Van asked.
"No, it's not that… even if he… did not make it, I would have the material I need. That is his wish, at least."
She let the horrible reality of her words sink in. Dryden didn't want Millerna to use the antibiotic, even if he would not be taking the sickness well. She placed her hand on hers. "He will be fine, don't worry!" She knew the princess was well-prepared for this. She would do all in her powers to save him. "He is still young and healthy. You saved people with a worse outlook here, didn't you?"
Millerna nodded, but the shadow did not disappear from her face. "Of course. His chances are good. But they are just that, chances. There are no certainties here."
"There's another problem," Merle supplied. "Even if we will have the serum, we should test it on someone first to show it's not dangerous. A few healthy people. Me and Stira offered to do it, but there don't seem to be any other volunteers."
"Yes. And I really need you two at the hospital. I can only inoculate you if I know it's safe. So basically, I'm at zero."
Hitomi took a breath, and so did the king. But Millerna was faster.
"Not you two, either, sorry. You and Van, your bodies are different. I need some of the local people. The problem is, they are mistrustful of me and my 'foreign methods.'"
"I could order some of the men to undergo it," Van said. "I'm sure they wouldn't mind."
"Maybe a few of them would be nice. But there should be volunteers as well, to motivate others. If the serum is effective, I need to inoculate as many Fanelians as I can. I still haven't come up with a solution of how to make them agree to it, wary as they are of me. Dryden's people say they stay away from them and decline the food they try to bring them as well, even if it's free. Many left their homes, too, because they got infected inside and left for the woods where they can find some food.
"I went to one such temporary shelter today," she said. "I helped them gather some food. And yes, they are wary and mistrustful of foreigners, though I managed to talk them up a bit."
"On one hand, it's clever of them," Millerna thought aloud. "Well-aired spaces are much better, even if the cold nights worry me. On the other, I can't imagine how they can be found and brought to let me do some strange procedures on them."
"I know all that. But I can still order them to come," Van said coldly. "I will issue a royal decree and my samurai will enforce it."
"Yes," Merle said. "It's for their own good, even if they are too stubborn and foolish to realize it!"
"I don't think that's a good idea," Hitomi had to say, remembering the king's wavering support she witnessed first-hand today. She was quite sure some people would revolt against such an order. Yes, he still had his loyal samurai, but without the support of the citizens… it would simply be a military dictatorship!
"I agree. You don't want to look like a tyrant," Millerna added.
"You should think about it some more, Your Majesty," the advisor said. "As difficult as the situation is, it is wise not to make any rash decisions."
Merle stabbed what looked like a boiled potato on her plate, the sound of the cutlery hitting the plate loud in the room. "We still have a few days, at least, before I have the material anyway. Right, Princess?"
Millerna just nodded.
"Fine. I'll think on it," Van concluded. "There's still that hunt tomorrow, anyway."
They ate in silence for a while after that, and that was her cue. It was getting late and she decided approaching the king in private after the dinner was not the greatest idea.
"Lord Van," she started preparedly this time, having learned from this morning that it was best not to attract attention to the informal nature of their relationship. It still felt foolish and unnatural to her own mouth though.
The king looked up from lazily stirring the contents of his plate in thought. The look on his face told her she managed to surprise him. Probably didn't expect her to start a conversation anytime soon after this morning's quarrel.
To be honest, she could not collect any of her anger right now. It just… fizzed out somewhere in between when she realized all that lay upon his shoulders. There were more important issues than dwelling on his overprotectiveness.
After all, deep down she knew where it was coming from, same as with Allen. It was the loss.
"Ademar is my old tutor. Talk as you would normally if you have something on your mind, Lady Hitomi."
Merle chuckled lowly, and even Millerna hid her smile behind a napkin.
She puffed up her cheeks. How the hell was she supposed to navigate when the propriety was expected and when it was ridiculous? Fine, she could also be informal, no issue.
"Alright. So, after this morning when you decided to just have me locked up here and– "
The catgirl's chuckle cut short, ending with an incredulous "huh?!" Only then she realized the double meaning. The only one she dared to look at was the old man. But even he had his neck craned and his eyes squinted in an 'am I hearing correctly?' expression.
"Here by myself. And then have me followed…" she finished. Act normal. Just act normal.
The king cleared his throat. "Thank you for the cue, though I remember this morning differently," he said brusquely.
"Seems like it was an interesting morning!" Millerna interjected, wallowing in Hitomi's embarrassment.
"Anyway," she raised her voice way above her usual standard. Why wouldn't they simply listen to what she had to say? "After that, I just explored the city and came across a group of your royal subjects hiding from the disease and spent the day helping them with their work. As I said, their shelter is on the town outskirts, just near the forest. I talked to them a lot, using a false identity. So, if you'd like to hear the word right from the streets…" she slowed down voluntarily.
She didn't know Van to take criticism too well, no matter how constructive.
"Go on," he said.
"Well. Your subjects I met have quite a few requests and expectations of you."
"Yeah, they can get in line," he sighed, not even looking up from his plate this time.
"They mentioned something about the Rite of Providence? Said that it wasn't done in a long time and it may have offended the gods."
"The Rite of Providence…" Van repeated slowly, as if he had heard it once but could not place it anymore.
"Sounds familiar?"
"Never heard of that," Merle piped in.
Ademar caressed his thin beard in thought "Right they are. We haven't had that rite for a long time,"
"Why not?"
The advisor looked at his king in question. Or maybe just seeking affirmation to continue?
Van decided to continue himself in the end. "Because you need a…" he took a breath and started again. "The last time that rite was done, I was the first child they'd done it on. After my father died… there was no one to perform that ritual, because it has to be… a person of royal blood…" he was somehow not making it clearer, but it was also obvious he was unable to add anything else.
To Hitomi, it looked like the memory caught him off-guard. She looked away herself, feeling uncomfortable to be the one who brought it up.
Looking at the quizzical faces around the table, his advisor continued in his stead. "It is the rite in which the king blesses the young children, first his own, then all those that were born that year, then all the others. It used to be done each year, so no children are missed, because they are the most vulnerable to sickness and early death."
That made sense. But why didn't he perform it after he was crowned? No, after the disaster… with him being absent, with the reconstruction going on… of course it wasn't done. Even asking that was stupid.
"Do you think it could be a good idea to do it now?" Hitomi tried carefully.
The king threw the napkin near his plate, signaling the maid to take it away. "I don't know. Princess, you warned us against people gathering."
Millerna just propped her chin up, her eyes moving from side to side in deep thought.
"Maybe you should think about it, Lord Van," Merle suggested in the meantime. "People do have a lot of faith. It may help them in these hard times."
"Hitomi is right," the princess concluded. "In fact, it may also help with what we discussed earlier. That the people are unwilling to undergo the inoculation. Maybe the protection ritual will give them more confidence?"
"But wouldn't the large gathering be a problem?"
She frowned. "It would be a lot of work to organize, but no, not if we carefully check everyone for symptoms upon entry, it wouldn't. We should also do it in open space."
"Well. The Cathedral is roofless anyway," Merle snickered bitterly.
"But the walls are still standing," Van's mind seemed somewhere far away.
"What say you, Your Majesty?" the Preceptor asked.
"Any idea is better than none." Wow, thank you for the appreciation, Hitomi thought, her mood suddenly sour.
"I will ask the High Priest," Van continued, "But don't get too optimistic. He may be against it."
"Why would he be against it?" Hitomi asked. "Isn't he the one who should see to the religious traditions being upheld?"
"First of all, it may not be the right time, astrologically. And then, it's a blood-based ritual. And my blood is not… up to some standards in purity, for obvious reasons."
Anger bubbled all the way up her chest and she had to stand up, followed by surprised looks from around the table. How dare they say this? How dare they assume that any blood in someone's veins is impure!
She had bit her tongue and failed to stand up to the crowd but at least here…
The locals still looked at her quizzically. For them, the fear of the Draconian curse was something natural, even if they didn't agree with it. Nobody got as agitated as she did, but she had to let it out.
"What is impure are the hearts of those who say such things. And you should not listen to them! You are the king, aren't you? Just do your usual thing and do as you like, Van!"
His eyes dropped away from hers and to the side uncharacteristically and remained shielded by his eyelashes. "I'm not the authority in the spiritual matters," he grumbled. And she saw that little prince from a vision again, surrounded by all those elderly men overflowing with expectation and demanding respect simply by the means of their age.
"So, who are you gonna listen to? The ancient priests or your people? Just think about it. If he denies you this, it's like he denies you have the king's blood! What comes next, does he declare you unfit to rule?"
"I do not say this often," Merle started, her tone quite incredulous. "But I agree with everything she just said."
Hitomi just gave her an exasperated, but grateful look.
"The young lady is speaking very wisely, Your Majesty. Your authority is something that shouldn't ever be disputed," the older man added. She had been momentarily oblivious to his presence and to what she had said being too rude towards the priest… or even himself, at his age. He didn't look offended, but it still kind of pulled her out of her self-righteous display.
"Many of the people do have faith in you. Your absence worries and confuses them. But they still are ready to defend you. A-at the very least, those were my findings today..." Hitomi slid down to her chair deflated, still not quite believing her outburst.
She saw Millerna puckering her lips in a grimace resembling a whistle. She flushed and stole a careful glance at the king instead.
Van was looking at the tabletop absently, his face shielded by the clasped hands in front of it.
"Fine. I will talk to the Archpriest. And hope the curse is not real."
"I will do that talking for you, Your Majesty," the old man offered. "I suggest drawing up the request in letter form and I will bring it to him."
"Why you?"
"Just make your will known. It is beneath you to try and convince him. And he may need a bit of convincing. Plus, I need to correct you, young lady," he turned to her. "It is the Preceptor's task to observe that the Rites are being upheld, and I do regret being reminded of them by a foreigner. Since His Majesty has named me into this position last year, I believe I am qualified to decide on that."
"The Church still would like to have a say," Van pointed out.
"Oh, no doubt," the Preceptor smiled, looking almost rejuvenated. "I know the history of said rite; and it's not as much religious as it is Fanelian. That's why I believe I have all the arguments necessary to convince the Archpriest. Let me, who has known him for aeons, handle this."
"But when should we hold the ritual?" Merle inquired, taking the whole matter as done-and-decided.
"I have thought about that as well," the old man said, and Hitomi understood why he was so well-respected. He said little during the dinner, but he came up with a plan almost immediately. "According to the church, the Rituals are to be well-prepared, otherwise they may offend the gods and draw even more misfortune to us. But I will suggest we hold the rite as soon as His Majesty returns from the hunt. Let the gods show if they favor him. If they bless him with plentiful prey, I believe the Providence ritual should be held."
"It's still a religious ritual, so I have doubts…" Van said. She would almost think he was the one against it, not the priest.
"If you'll allow me," the old man said. His king nodded hesitantly. The Preceptor stood up without hurry and walked over to the bookshelves next to the desk. Browsing through the titles, he muttered slowly, almost as if to himself.
"True, Fanelia is a religious country, from its very birth. Nobody is contesting that. However… it was not the Mighty Escaflowne who founded this country, it was King Fahn, whose blood courses through His Majesty's veins. If the Winged God grants him a successful hunt in his realm, then I say he has enough of His favor to hold the ritual."
In the end, he had a pile of books and scrolls in his hands that he put in front of Van and went back to assume his place at the table at the king's side.
"Ademar. Thank you."
"There is no need, Your Majesty," the old man smiled kindly. "It's the least I can do after my son's behavior yesterday. However thankful I am that you chose not to punish him, it was inexcusable. And he has learned all these political theories from Basram; how a ruler should be, this and that…"
"Maybe he needs to talk with someone who had actually lived in Basram."
"Perhaps it would help. In any case. What he said was not fair. I was ashamed of him."
"I thought it fair enough," Van sighed. "There is one thing I want you to understand. I found some truth to your son's words. Otherwise, he would have been finding a cutoff down to the main square." One of the intertwined fingers in front of his face straightened to point at the fortress window.
The old man smiled wryly and bowed down. "Thank Escaflowne and our merciful king for that. He's the only son I've got. It's not an excuse, but the situation has worn on him, too."
"He's right in that I am neglecting Fanelia. But Escaflowne is a weapon. A weapon cannot rebuild a country, but it can decide this war. And I am the only one who can wield it."
"To think you used to hate it so much… to Balgus' desperation," the Preceptor said with a sad smile, and patted the worn books and scrolls almost affectionately. "It's been a long time since you received any study task from me, Your Majesty. But I suggest reading about the Rite yourself, starting right now, before tomorrow's hunt. Make sure you have learned its course so that the gods won't be harmed on their dignity."
"Only if the hunt goes well…" Van noted.
"And I have no doubt it will, Your Majesty. You said it yourself, after all. You work best as a weapon now."
Hitomi cuddled herself in the blanket from her bed and sat down on the small balcony attached to her room at the Nest. The events of the last day left her tired but agitated, unable to sleep. The view of Fanelia at night oddly attracted her. It was a lovely sight, a fairy ring of warm yellow lights surrounded by the gray peaks and the impenetrable darkness of the forest. To a poet, ignorant of the current events, it could be almost romantic.
But to an anxious heart, the darkness seemed to be just waiting to swallow the city whole.
Suddenly, a sharp sound woke her up from her musings. It sounded like somebody dropped something, and a glass broke. The door on the larger balcony a tiny bit higher and further away from hers opened suddenly and she craned her neck to get a better look.
A familiar figure crossed the balcony in a few hurried strides, leaving the light coming from the balcony door behind his back. He leaned over the railing for a bit, letting the night draft play with his hair. She noticed he had finally shed his uniform and was clad in a loose Fanelian-style shirt that was a , nondescript, pale color in the dark. She was dumbfounded as Van stepped back, doubled over as if in a cramp, his hands gripping the railing. Then he raked his trembling fingers through his hair until they entwined at his nape, his form bending forward so that he was leaning on the metal pipe with his upper arms.
His face was hidden but his pose and harsh breathing spoke volumes about his disrupted state. Hitomi almost stopped her own breathing in fear of being discovered, but she couldn't tear her eyes away. Similar to the moment she had caught at the hospital the day before, he lost the grip over his mask and was currently showing anguish she would not have expected. Despite their earlier conflict, she felt a lot of sympathy for him. She could only imagine the responsibility that lay with the duty of a king, especially in a situation such as this.
A cautious thought appeared in her head. That maybe she had been too harsh with him. Didn't take into account all that she should have… preoccupied as she was with herself.
She stood up slowly, without any conscious effort. It was then that Van noticed he had company. Their eyes met and she was frozen to the spot by the empty, haunted look that greeted her. She only saw his face muscles twitch into a grimace that looked like hardly contained rage before his lips settled in a disdainful frown. He looked away from her sharply.
"Wait," she gasped and reached one hand above the railing hesitantly. Wait for what? For her apology for intruding on his private meltdown? Would she be brave enough to run to his room and try to talk to him? He answered in her stead. His grip on the railing seemed to have tightened and within a second, he effortlessly jumped sideways over it. Letting gravity do the rest.
"Ah!" With a gasp, she bent over the ledge as he fell, her eyes trying to discern him in the night. Even knowing that this was not really dangerous to him, her heart threatened to jump out of her chest. It took a few scary breaths before her strained eyes caught a bright dot gliding down towards the forest.
Hitomi sighed as she let her knees buckle and she slid back down against the railing. Van hadn't exactly acknowledged her presence and she was more than sure this balcony episode would go right to the "never happened" category along with the "barn" and "bridge" one, to name a few. Never to be mentioned nor talked about again, as if it didn't happen at all. But she was just as sure of what she saw. And no one could convince her otherwise.
Still, she felt like she should alert someone. The king seemed not well, and she was the only one who seemed to be aware of it. She knew.
Merle.
The sleepy catgirl opened the metal door of her cabin, wiping at her eyes with her entire forearm. "What is it?" she asked with a sleep-rough voice.
"It's Van. He just jumped off the balcony, just like that. He seemed not right."
The younger girl paused mid-movement but then just sighed. "Is that really so shocking, considering everything?"
"Shouldn't we… do something?"
"Well, yeah, we can go and check his room. For any goodbye notes and such."
She looked at the girl in horror. "Don't joke about such things!"
"Listen, if you knew Lord Van at all, you would know that he would never leave his country in such a cowardly way. Especially not in this situation."
True. Hitomi knew that herself. But she wouldn't have expected him to behave like he did, either.
Yet, here we are. Both of them losing their sleep and standing in front of the heavy Zaibach door leading, no doubt, to the original fortress commander's suite, the door itself befitting something more like a submarine rather than a castle.
"It's probably locked," Merle sighed, but Hitomi could still see worry in her. "In that case, I will climb in through another balcony."
But the door opened with ease, surprising the catgirl visibly. They both carefully stepped over the tall threshold into a still light-filled room.
She looked around curiously. Despite being bigger than hers, it managed to look quite cozy. As much as the Zaibach fortress allowed, at least. The metal furniture she saw during her brief visit to Vione when Van was kidnapped must have been replaced by wooden Fanelian pieces, the predominant tones brown, green and beige. The blue energist lamps of Zaibach were swapped for a warm yellow flame. There was a bit of a disarray, but less than what she would expect of a room of a boy his age. Not that it wouldn't make sense, he just got back and she was sure he had servants scrubbing his room daily.
One of the few signs of the room being lived in was the coat strewn over the stool on top of some other clothing. More importantly, there were several objects dropped on the ground, including a splayed book, no doubt one of those picked out by his advisor. She had never seen him read a book before… and it definitely looked like he didn't have an eye for them, because it seemed like he threw it and knocked some fragiles off the table.
Really, she could be a detective.
While Merle bent down to collect the shards. Hitomi carefully picked up the book. It was heavy and well-worn. The unfamiliar Gaean script hid its title and contents from her. She could not read it anymore without using her powers and asking Merle about it seemed silly. Instead, she walked over to put it on the end table, where it felt like it belonged. The thicker, green top cover of the bed seemed rumpled a bit, with a few scrolls and other books on top of it. Hitomi imagined Van there, stretched and reading, then throwing the book across the room.
He did seem reluctant to go through with the whole rite thing. Did he feel forcibly pressured into it? No, it was almost impossible to make him do something against his will.
She eyed the entrance to the balcony. What in the book could have possibly upset him so much? As if it's a hard task to anger him, really. The night wind was playing with the simple thin curtain from the open balcony door. She got the brief idea that he would just land back on the balcony and catch them right in the act. Well, not Merle, who was obviously close enough to him to hang around his quarters. But Hitomi surely was an intruder. He made it clear before that it was his impression.
No wonder.
She wasn't even supposed to be here, on this planet; she was a black passenger on Dryden's ship, she was not able to help, had ran away stubbornly, and to top it all off, she had to witness Van displaying weakness, whatever it was that she saw. The uncomfortable feeling was not leaving. She rubbed her hands up and down her arms, feeling cold.
"It's alright," the catgirl murmured. She had finished collecting the shards of whatever was knocked down into a piece of fabric in the meantime. "He will have coped with it by the morning. They leave early. We should go back to sleep as well."
She nodded, sparing one last look at the open balcony door. She finally realized why the Nest was perfect for him. Come night, the ladders were drawn up and nobody went up or down. That made the fortress safe from most kinds of intruders. But he, he could come and go freely as he pleased. I wonder if Van will want to come down to the ground again, she remembered Millerna's words from yesterday.
She had always thought it must be great to be able to fly, to reach the skies. But now, for the first time she realized it must also be very lonely up there…
Sleep did not come for what seemed like long hours after that, leaving her tossing and turning as the blue glow of the twin moons reached her bed. Knowing it was going to be another exhausting day tomorrow, she tried to lull herself to sleep but the thoughts of Fanelia's grim situation whirred in her head.
Her eyes kept opening every few minutes, blinking away horrible scenarios from the canvas on the back of her lids, the picture of the huge night-sky object that was her original home both beautiful and distressing. Yet, her gaze was still pulled to it. Last thing she remembered was the quick glance of a few feathers in the wind, as they passed her still open balcony door. Whether it was a dream or not, she slept peacefully after.
Hello and happy new year, everyone! Let us, in all modesty, wish for a better one. I know this update has taken long months and as an apology, I'd like to present you (yet another) longest chapter so far, with a bonus scene at the end, no less! Thanks to everyone for their patience. My continuous gratitude goes to Lera who is always ready to help a girl out with her insane fic project. Also those guys who reviewed, you are all awesome and way too kind to me. I can see some expectations growing, I like that! Don't hesitate to share them. I'm not saying I would change anything major because I have the main plotline pretty much planned, but maybe I can add some detail you will like! You can also review in your own language if you feel more comfortable, yes, I speak a bit of (in order of the bit size) German, Japanese, and Spanish, plus I can always use automatic translation, so no worries there.
Chapter notes:
The bonus scene at the end is something I plan to continue in a short comic form. But you know how it goes, they are but plans for now.
As you may or may not know, the calendar and the birthday of Gaean characters don't make a whole lot of sense. The biggest logical problem is, Millerna and Van were both born in April while for Van it's White 12 (April 12) and for Millerna Green 24 (April 24). That just makes zero sense because they were supposed to be born the same year and the birthdays of the other characters look like the Gaean months correspond to the Earth months... while other things don't (Marlene's diary for example). Anyway, let's not get into that now. Suffice to say, I came up with a solution renaming the "April"/"Green" as "White" for Fanelia specifically. I was inspired by the Roman calendar including the names for the Emperors in the names of the months and also by the eras named after the Emperors in Japan (this year is Reiwa 3 in the Japanese calendar, and yes, while in Japan, it's quite probable you'd see that instead of 2021 on all kinds of official documents and forms). Long story short, I made Gaean "Green" become "White" in Fanelia in the king's honor.
For Hitomi and reading languages, I connected it largely to her powers. That's why she can't read Gaean nor Atlantean as of now. More on that in the next chapter.
I decided to go with a more realistic approach about the reconstruction since it's been only a few years and they are still in the middle of the war. The other allied countries also have different trouble rather than giving aid. Postwar reconstruction takes a long time even with all the resources that Fanelia does not really have as of now. So yeah, Van unfortunately still is pretty much a king of rubble and of course, people are not too happy about it all. Traditionally, Fanelia is supposed to be closely-knit with their king, so Van's absence is not taken so well. I wanted to show that but also show the people taking the hardships without rioting, because after all, they still have the faith in him. Also, the townsfolk basically repeated the opinions of the advisors, have you noticed? Everyone is no doubt worried about their country's future… cough... #GetVanAConcubine2021 (copyright Lera)
Wishing for a more compact chapter and less writer's block next time. Hope you all have been well, considering all the circumstances, and I'll be happy to hear from you!