Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else's
Grace heard nothing from the bathroom where she'd left Ronon. Slowly, she lifted her hands, mechanically unknotting the scarf covering her hair. It felt like a semblance of normality in a sea of confusion as she pulled the pins from the thick, coiled braid and released it to fall over her shoulder. It was a small thing, but something familiar, something to do with her hands.
"I remember the first time I saw you." Ronon's voice came softly from behind her and she spun to face him, tail end of her braid in hand. He'd moved so silently she hadn't even registered him entering the room.
She tugged the elastic from the end of her braid and began to loosen her hair. He folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall by the door, watching her steadily. A heartbeat later, he continued. "When you came into the gym, when I was sparring. You looked so damn happy."
Her brow drew into a frown as she regarded him, wondering where he was
going with this. Was it a show for the man watching from the other side of the mural? It had to be. They'd barely even spoken that day. Still, Ronon's voice was steady. "Everytime, I saw you after that, you were always happy, always smiling. Take the robes off." He didn't miss a beat as the command passed his lips and in that moment, Grace clung to his words like an anchor. A bond of shared trauma. That's what Heitmeyer would call it. But she began to reach up and remove the cording that held the hideous robe snugly against her shoulders. "At that first dinner, you looked so happy, just to see me eating the food you'd made. It was like you enjoyed taking care of me that night."
There was a truth to his words that made her fingers falter as she worked at the cord around her waist. Her eyes lifted to his face and she was grateful she didn't have to say anything. How had he seen that? Yet again, this man surprised her with just how observant, insightful he could be. Those clear moss green eyes hid depths that even she had overlooked. His voice was still quiet when he spoke again. "It started that night, you know. My wanting you."
A tingle began low in her belly at those words, though she knew now they were as false as the rest of this was. Still, she allowed them to flow over her, to warm her. She managed to finally fumble the knot free and unwind the cord from around her waist. When she'd finally managed to pull the yards of billowing fabric over her head, Ronon's voice was even softer. "The next time was when you left the books for me. I came to your room to thank you. Do you remember?"
Grace busied herself with smoothing out the fabric and folding it, to hide the shaking of her hands. "I remember. You left so abruptly. I wondered if I'd pissed you off."
When she lifted her eyes to his face, his gaze was direct and a bit confused. "Is that what you thought?" He pushed himself off the wall and moved toward her, reaching to pluck the fabric from her hands and toss it down. He circled her slowly, his voice low. "I wasn't angry." She felt his fingers gripping her hair lightly, pushing it over one shoulder, then his breath over her ear. The brush of his lips over the nape of her neck sent a shiver down her spine, and then the lightest pressure from his fingers settling in the place of those lips. "It was before I was used to the clothing the women wore there."
Though he was careful not to mention Atlantis, she knew what he had to be talking about. The fingers at her neck brushed lightly over her skin, then gripped the collar of the dress, his other hand rising, brushing along her spine. "Your legs, your shoulders, your arms. All bare for me to see." A whisper of movements, the zipper of the dress sliding down and his voice narrowing her world down to only him. He was lulling her to relax, even as he took something that really happened and transformed it into a fantasy, giving her something to hold on to. "I left because all I could think about was having those legs wrapped around me."
The hairs on her arms stood up as she felt his fingers trace up her bare back with the lightest possible pressure. Grace's eyes fell closed as she listened to his voice, letting it serve as her focus. Every part of her body was alert for the next breath, the next utterance of that deep, rumbling voice. "If I'd stay, I would have done something stupid." A flick of his fingers sent the dress off her shoulders and floating toward the ground.
The brush of his lips over her shoulder was searing and unexpected, and she felt the words drift over her skin like a caress. "Take the rest off." The heat from Ronon's body was gone a moment later and she heard the rustling of fabric from behind her as she raised her hands, reaching behind herself to unhook her bra. The sound of his belt buckle made her belly tighten in anticipation. A moment later, he was behind her again, his hands coming to rest at her waist, thumbs hooking in her panties as he sent them sliding off her hips in a smooth movement. His voice was low in her ear once more. "The time we were stuck in the pantry together, that was the worst though."
Grace licked her lips as the fabric of her clothing pooled around her feet. Ronon slid a hand around her waist, to her belly, pulling her body into his own. The bare skin of his chest against her back was warm and she realized belatedly that he was shielding her from the prying eyes on the other side of the wall. He was bare chested, but she could feel the leather trousers he wore against her thighs and her bottom. His fingers splayed over her stomach as his other hand settled on her shoulder, thumb tracing lightly over her skin. His voice came in a rumble that lit her body on fire. "I was so fucking hard the entire time. I wanted to do to you what they were doing. After I left, I went back to my room and I took a shower."
It was a story that he wove that was doing exactly what he intended, lulling her into a place where only his voice, only his hands, only his body, existed and there was nothing else to fear. "I wrapped my hand around my cock, Grace." His arm tightened around her waist as the hand at her shoulder drifted downward, fingers skimming over one breast, circling lightly, tracing the skin as if he truly wanted to. "And I started to imagine what you'd sound like as I took you."
Her lips parted and she gasped as his fingers closed over her nipple, teasing it to a tight bud. His words were a hot stream of torturous breath over the shell of her ear. "I came so fucking hard that night."
Grace gasped as she squeezed her eyes closed tighter. His movement took quick to register, his hands gripping her hips, spinning her in his embrace to face him. Her eyes flew open, landing on his face only to find him staring down at her. Ronon's gaze was dark and unreadable before his head bowed, lips descending on her own. It was like the kiss he'd taken from her the night before. It was a kiss that left Grace no choice to but answer him. Everything in her screamed at her to pull him closer, even as she knew his words had been to arouse, to pull her in. Even so, the kiss felt very real and for a moment, just a moment, she allowed herself to imagine that it was, that the man she'd been fascinated by for months now wanted her.
Without conscious thought, she lifted her arms, sliding them around his shoulders. He responded with a low growl, his tongue sweeping over the seam of her lips and demanding entry. When she opened her mouth, it was as if he were suddenly a man possessed. He stroked and teased with his tongue, exploring every inch of her mouth as if she were a sweet to be tasted and savored. It was as if he were trying to devour her. Grace leaned into him, surprised when his arms encircled her, lifting her from her feet and turning to deposit her onto the bed. His lips never left hers, even as she felt his hands suddenly set into motion, skimming over the lines of her body, his touch sure and confident.
Everything in her narrowed to only him, only his mouth on hers, his fingertips dragging over her sides, over her breasts, and her belly. When his lips left hers, she instantly missed them, but registered his mouth descending on one breast, lips closing over her nipple. His tongue was as skilled on her flesh as his fingers, tongue flicking and curling as he alternates between sucks and nips, never hurting her, but using his teeth to provide counterpoint to the strokes of his tongue. Every movement sent bolts of pleasure through her, curling up her spine, coiling low in her belly.
She heard a whimper and realized belatedly that it was her. His head lifted, eyes dark and burning as he heard it. Ronon stared up at her, his lips curving into a smile before she felt his hands hooking behind her knees, tugging them open. His hips settled over hers, as they had the afternoon before, when he'd demonstrated the Elder's expectations, but this time, it was different. She could feel his cock at her core, even through the leather of his trousers, hard and unashamed. Suddenly she was unable to remain still as she grew bolder. Grace slid her fingers over his sides, around his back, stroking and exploring the lines of hard muscle beneath velvety soft skin.
She heard as much as felt him releasing a groan when she skimmed her nails over his back. Ronons' eyes fell closed as his fingers moved restlessly over her side, his head lifting to capture her lips once more. This time, the contact was sweet and slow as he began to move against her. His weight lifted off her and immediately, Grace released a soft whisper of need, unable to stop herself. "Don't go."
She felt him stop, heard him expel a harsh breath as he lowered his head, his voice deeper than usual as he murmured the words into her ear. "I'm not going anywhere."
Grace felt his fingers moving between them and for the first time, she realized what he was doing. He slid his pants off, kicking them away and then lowering his head to stare at her once more. Ronon's hips slid to her own a second later and she saw his eyes fall closed, his lips parting as he exhaled sharply. His fingers dug into her hips as he began to move against her, the length of his cock sliding over her clit with the first slow grind. He'd barely even touched her and already her entire body was on edge. His name slipped from her lips in a gasp as she registered that the movement was purposeful in its intention. He knew exactly what he was doing.
His voice was low and guttural in her ear. "Fuck. You're already so fucking wet for me, Grace." Those words took her and carried her, filling the silence of the room and curling into her lungs like air. Her fingers scrabbled for a grip, coming to rest on his ass as she wiggled beneath him, wanting, needing more contact. His movements were still slow and sweet as he rocked against her, his cock brushing over her clit as he stared down at her, allowing her no escape from his gaze.
Ronon stared down at the woman beneath him. In all the moments when he'd imagined her with him, nothing came close to the sound of his name on her lips, pleading with him. He was so hard that he ached, and the sensation of the slickness that had gathered at her core only made the anticipation rise with a need that was all-consuming. He needed to possess this woman. She was wriggling beneath him, her legs wrapped around his waist, hands on his ass, trying to pull him closer.
Her innocence was there, in her every movement as she whimpered in that soft way of a woman who was ready to be taken. Ronon exhaled slowly, his hips still moving against her own, needing the friction, the slow burn of that contact to hold him fast and anchor him in that moment. He drew his hips back, thrusting against her once more. He wanted more, wanted to hear her crying out for him, wanted to feel those walls clenching around him. He lowered his head, breathing the words into her ear for only her to hear. "Focus on me, Grace. It's just us." The words were a lie, but how he wanted them to be true. He'd positioned her so that her body was shielded as much as possible from prying eyes. This should be for him and him alone and he would have his vengeance that this had been taken from him even as it had been granted to him.
Her eyes were on his face when he lifted his head, watching her intently as he lifted his hips and slid his fingers between their bodies, over her belly. Those beautiful blue eyes widened as she felt his fingers slide between the petals of her sex and seek out the little hooded bundle of nerves. He'd felt her reaction as he'd stroked his cock over her. It was an instant addiction. He wanted to hear more of those delightful soft pants and moans. He circled her clit with his thumb, sliding one finger lower toward her pussy.
Her breath hitched in a gasp when he made direct contact with her clit and she stiffened for a moment, her back arching down. Ronon watched the emotions play out over her face as he stroked her quickly, no longer teasing, wanting to pull her to the edge, to make her hover there until she shattered. He eased one finger into her, his chest tightening as he felt her walls snug and silken around even just that one finger. He groaned low in his throat, his cock throbbing at the knowledge that he was going to sink inside her so very soon. He fought for control of himself, watching her as she began to shake, her hips moving in an age old rhythm as he increased the pace of the strokes to her clit. She was absolutely dripping around his fingers as he slid a second in to join the first, thrusting them into her body gently.
He felt her begin to tense and he bowed his head, hissing the words into her ear as he began to drive his fingers into her faster. "That's it, Grace. Good girl. You want to come for me?"
Her nails dug into his back as she nodded, her voice holding the pleading note of a woman about to shatter. "Please, Ronon. Please."
Fuck. The sound of her begging was even better in reality than it had been in his darker fantasies. He released a groan, sliding a third finger in to join the first two, curling them into her. She was tight around his fingers and he was far larger than that. On instinct, Ronon murmured the words into her ear as he stroked her clit faster, "Let go, Grace."
He was rewarded with the sensation of her walls clamping down on his fingers as she stiffened. When Ronon lifted his head, he saw the gift of a woman at her peak, her back arched, thrusting pert breasts upward as she cried out his name. It was the sweetest sound he'd ever heard and so much more, so much better than he'd ever imagined. He stroked her over and over, quicker and quicker, guiding her through that peak and into another, unable to help himself. Greed ripped through him. He wanted more. She was trembling and shaking, her juices soaking his fingers as he groaned in anticipation.
He bowed his head, his hand drawing away from her body as he gripped his cock and settled himself at her entrance. Rising up over her, he could feel the heat from her body, beckoning him, welcoming him. Ronon stared down at her, his eyes lingering on her face as she still shuddered from the waves of pleasure that he'd brought her. She'd told him he didn't have to be gentle, but she was tiny, and he… well… wasn't.
Ronon's jaw tightened as he lowered himself to bear his weight on his elbows as he slid his fingers into her hair. He bowed his head to whisper the words into her ear, barely daring to breathe them out, intending them for her and her alone. "I can't promise to be gentle."
Her head fell to the side, her cheek resting against his own as she answered him with a soft whisper. "Don't be."
Those words were an explicit invitation. She was giving him what she'd given him the night before. Even now the memory of how rough he'd been with her, her words whispered afterward, confused and sweet, echoed through his mind. She'd liked it. Ronon closed his eyes and brushed a kiss over the shell of her ear as he tightened his fingers in her hair. "It's okay, Ronon. I promise." Her voice came once more, a bare whisper, the most trust anyone had ever displayed him. It was his undoing.
Ronon lifted his head, body bending as he yielded to utter need and snapped his hips forward, driving himself into her in one hard stroke. So many things hit his brain at one time that his overloaded body very nearly couldn't process it all. Incredible slick heat, tight walls opening for him as he forced his way in, a gasp of pain in his ear that was followed by her body tensing, the sensation of something inside her breaking apart to make room for him, her body bending beneath his. Ronon's head dropped forward as his mind swam with the information overload.
He'd never felt anything so fucking tight in his entire life, so good, so right. Something had given way, something... he felt her tense around him, her soft sounds of pain and not pleasure. He knew he was large, he knew he had gone too fast, but these whimpers were not the right kind. He'd heard these sounds before. It hit him all at once and Ronon very nearly came then and there as he remembered where he'd heard them. Melena had made the same sounds when he'd taken her for the first time on the night she'd agreed to marry him. Becque was a fucking virgin.
He should have been angry, should have been furious that she'd not warned him. Instead, the only thing he felt was dark satisfaction. Ronon tightened his fingers in her hair as he breathed the words out, praying the Elder watching on the other side of the wall couldn't hear him. "Should have told me."
She was still tense beneath him, her pussy walls clutching at him. Everything in him screamed at him to move, to take what was now his. She was now his. His and his alone. That thought ripped away the tenuous leash that held his control in check. He began to withdraw from her, slowly moving in an effort not to hurt her, but remaining still wasn't an option. She was still tense when he managed to breathe out the words into her ear. "It'll pass. I promise. Try to relax."
Her answer was a soft sound of agreement and he felt her body begin to yield to him. His own began to tighten and coil, demanding more. He sank back into her, slowly this time. It was as much to savor the sensation of her, knowing she was his now. He rose up over her, planting one hand beside her head as he slid the other to her ass and gripped it, tipping her hips upward as he sank into her to the hilt, hips moving in a slow grind as he stared at her. Ronon watched as her face transformed from pain to pleasure in the instant his pelvis ground against her clit. "That's it. Good girl. That's it."
He no longer cared that the old pervert was watching. This was infinitely more pleasurable, more important. He began to withdraw again, the agony of moving slowly overridden by the need to make her understand what was happening here. Her eyes were a tumult of emotions, shiny with unshed tears, even as her pretty face flushed pink. "You're mine, Grace." WHen he sank back into her again, still moving slowly, he felt her walls flexing, tightening marginally and he grinned, a dark expression when he realized she no longer felt pain, but only pleasure. "Feel me? Inside you, Grace?"
She gave a nod, breathing out his name as she gripped at his hips. "Ronon, please."
A dark chuckle emitted from him as he ground his pelvis into hers and watched as pleasure rippled across her face. "Please what, a'ko?" He wanted more. The beast was already pacing at the edges of the cage and the door was creaking beneath the weight of Ronon's need as that familiar darkness rose up in him.
And like an answering cry, Grace's voice held the key to open that door. "Please fuck me." He felt her moving beneath him and he grinned. It was a genuine expression that would have scared any other woman, that should have scared her. Instead, she merely stared up at him, her eyes half-lidded, her voice softening to a low moan. "Please."
And just like that the beast was freed. He withdrew again only to slam into her with his full strength. Her cries were so soft, sharpening with that movement as he knew she felt the pain she'd not known he could give her. It was too late though. She'd asked him for it, begged him for it and he would give her exactly what she'd asked for, take what he needed. Ronon's world became a blur of sensation as he began to drive into her. He'd not been inside a woman in years and even the night before felt like nothing compared to this.
The fantasies he'd indulged in those nights alone in his shower with only his hand for company were nothing compared to the reality of it. Insidious need that had crept up on him over a period of months was released on her now. Ronon lost track of everything except the sight of her face twisted in pained pleasure, the way her pussy clutched at him, her silken walls cradling him, gripping him as he drove onward. He could hear the sound of skin on skin, the gasps she released, followed by throaty feminine moans. But it was when she cried out his name, that he lost all semblance of control.
Ronon battered into her with a violence he'd never unleashed on a woman before, the bite of her nails into his back registering a new sensation. She was pleading with him then, her cries barely touching his ears before new ones rose. She was begging. Begging him not to stop, begging him for more. Ronon could feel his body beginning to give out far too soon. He wanted more. He wanted so much more. He wanted, needed to mark her, to let her know this wasn't it. This was not over when they walked out the doors of the temple. He drove into her as he felt her begin to tighten around him. In the next second, Ronon felt her walls clamp down on him, heard her cry out sharply as she came without warning.
Running on pure greed now, he drove into her again even as he felt his belly begin to tighten. He bowed his head as she began to come down, panting from the force of her orgasm. He breathed the words into her ear, too low for anyone but her to hear. He had to say it. He wanted her to know. "You belong to me, Grace. You're mine."
She began to tremble all over again and as she gave a piercing cry in his ear, he whispered the words to her. "That's it. That's mine too." He drove into her one final time, his balls tightening in the split second before he drove into her one final time, his words a guttural snarl in her ear, unrecognizable even to his own ear. "Gonna… fuck…." The pleasure ripped through him with a searing heat that was more intense than anything he'd felt in his life. He felt her walls closing around him as he came, his cock buried as deeply inside her as humanly possible.
"Feel me, Grace." The words tripped off his tongue without conscious thought as he watched her register that he was coming inside her. She could feel every spurt, every heated jet as his hips jerked against her own. He didn't try to stop himself as he rode it out, making no effort to hide the pleasure that gave him.
The expression on Ronon's face was dark as he bowed his body once more, his voice coming in her ear, this time too soft to be heard beyond the simple breath he gave it. "Fucking mine, Grace." Those words frightened her in a way that the violence with which he'd just fucked her hadn't managed to. For some reason she couldn't register, there was a dark, delicious promise in those words. She knew it wasn't real. None of this was real. It was to get out of here but the feeling of his cock inside her, still hard even as he came crashing down on top of her, was at stark odds with what her brain was trying to remind of her, reality.
She'd never expected that much intensity from sex. But then it shouldn't have surprised her. Ronon never did anything by halves. She could feel his release inside her, hot and thick as he'd come. Every jerk of his cock had only intensified the pleasure that had ripped through her and even now, she shook from the residual shockwaves that went through her.
He remained still, his face buried in her the crook of her neck as he dragged in lungfuls of air, hot breaths expelled against her skin in ragged pants. On instinct, she tightened her arms around him and closed her eyes. She was dangerously close to losing it. She felt as if she'd been laid bare before this man. The words she knew he'd spoken for the Elder had rung through her head. Foolishly, she'd wanted them to be true. She wanted to belong to this man and she didn't have the first clue what to do with that.
Long seconds passed before she felt Ronon lift his head, moving carefully. When he withdrew from her, she was acutely aware of the rush of fluid between her thighs, evidence that he'd played her body like an instrument. Oddly, she instantly missed the feeling of him inside her. He shifted, gathering her into his arms as he lifted her. His arms trembled, his body showing signs of his efforts in the form of a sheen of sweat over his brow as he shifted her to the other end of the bed. Only then did she realize that he'd fucked her with her head at the foot of the bed, sparing her the humiliation of giving the man watching a prime view. It was one of the small kindnesses that made her heart weaken where he was concerned.
Ronon was silent as he reached for the furs, pulling them up and over them, shielding her from view. He didn't speak as he pulled her into his arms, letting her bury her face in his chest. He was still breathing heavily as he gave her a few minutes to compose herself. She felt the furs move further up, and realized he was pulling them over their heads.
A moment later, he moved, his body sliding against hers as he shimmied downward to be at eye level with her. Only a faint light made its way in. She saw those eyes staring at her, his brow furrowed in concern as he finally spoke, too softly to be heard away from her. "Are you okay?"
On impulse, she lifted a hand, touching his face. Surprise was written over his features in the next heartbeat as she nodded. And she was. She really was. Sex was fun. Intense and beautiful. As the heat of the moment abated, she realized now that it was wonderful. And instantly, she wanted more. Instead she drew in a breath and tipped her head forward, daring to brush a kiss over his lips. He froze, and then a moment later, by some miracle, she felt his lips move against hers, in a kiss that was at once chaste and soothing. His whispered words were soft and sweet as he drew back, sliding an arm around her waist and pulling her closer. "Try to rest."