Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin;

Chapter Twenty Three

When Merlin returned home for dinner that night, he was surprised to find they had a guest.

"You're certainly looking better than the last time I saw you," Lancelot said with a laugh. "Sorry I haven't been by sooner. Gaius wouldn't let you have visitors while you were sick, and I've been out on patrol the last few days."

Honestly, Merlin hadn't even thought about Lancelot since they'd returned; all of his energy had gone into worrying about Arthur. But now he was here, Merlin had never been more relieved to see anyone in his life. Lancelot knew the truth about him, just like Arthur, but Lancelot's knowledge carried none of the weight or pressure that Arthur's did.

"I didn't realize I wasn't allowed visitors." Merlin glanced at Gaius, who nodded in confirmation as he carried the meal from the fire to the table.

"You'd had plenty of excitement. And I thought all things considered, having people around you might make you more anxious, which would slow your recovery."

"How come Arthur was allowed?"

"Because," Gaius said dryly, "he's the king and he overruled me. Lancelot, please help yourself. We have plenty."

"Thank you, Gaius." Lancelot smiled appreciatively. "So how has Arthur been with all of it?"

Merlin frowned. "Really good, actually. Shockingly good. For the most part, at least. He doesn't avoid talking about it. Kind of the opposite – he seems to think I'm a puzzle he has to solve. He asks lots of questions. But he doesn't do as well when he sees me actually doing magic."

"He saw you do magic?" Gaius asked, and Merlin heard the alarm in his voice.

"He insisted," Merlin explained. "But I could tell it frightened him."

The truth was, when Merlin had looked over from the wardrobe, the expression on Arthur's face bore a disturbing resemblance to the expression on his face every time they talked about him meeting the dragon. Speaking of which…

"I'm taking him to meet Kilgharrah tonight, by the way, so I'll probably be home late."

Gaius's eyes bugged and Lancelot started coughing as a piece of food went down the wrong way.

"He's meeting Kilgharrah?" Gaius repeated incredulously.

"I told you, he seems to think I'm a puzzle, and he thinks Kilgharrah will give him more pieces of that puzzle." It came out sounding like a complaint, and maybe it was a little bit. Merlin didn't like feeling like he was a problem to be solved. But there was another part of him – the larger part, honestly – that already felt like he was a problem to be solved. And having Arthur in his corner trying to solve it…well, it made it less scary. Maybe it was silly, but Arthur was the most courageous person Merlin knew, and he felt safer with him on his side.

Of course, before Arthur, another knight of Camelot had made the choice to stand alongside a sorcerer. When Lancelot went to leave after dinner, Merlin followed him to the door.

"Lancelot," he started, and then he wasn't sure how to continue. Everything had shifted so quickly in his life, and that included his friendship with the man in front of him. Not including Gaius, who was more father than anything else, Lancelot alone had acted as his friend and confidante for years. But with nothing left to hide from Arthur, and with the other knights aware of his power…it was the bittersweet ending of an era.

"Everything over the past few years – keeping my secrets, lying for me, talking me down when I needed it. And what you did on that ridge after the Deilen—"

Lancelot interrupted him. "It is an honor to be your friend, Merlin, and it has been an honor to be of service to Emrys." He clasped his friend's shoulders, and Merlin could see in his eyes that he understood something had changed as well. But there was no sadness or resentment there; all he saw was hope. "Helping you is not a task for me to carry alone anymore. I would have continued to do it alone for as long as I lived. But I am glad Arthur knows. I am glad the time is coming for you to take your place at his side." A grin spread across his face. "You know, you are not the only one who has been awaiting the fulfillment of your destiny. Ever since you first told me the prophecy, I have also awaited the time of Albion."

Merlin wasn't used to Arthur showing fear, and he could tell how hard the king was trying to hide it now. But Merlin heard the shaky breath Arthur took after he called Kilgharrah.

"You're sure about this?"

"I'm sure, just like I have been every time you've asked," Arthur snapped. After a moment, he sighed. "I'm sure," he repeated. "You, uh…you're certain he can't harm me?"

"He can't disobey a direct order from me," Merlin confirmed.

Merlin watched as Arthur tried to work through something, his face tight as his eyes scanned the sky. "Why was your voice different?" he finally asked. "When you called the dragon, you didn't sound like yourself."

Merlin frowned. "I don't know, actually. When I inherited the gift of the dragonlord, the tongue of dragons just came naturally to me. I've never really thought about how I speak it."

Before Arthur could ask anything else, the sound of wings filled the clearing, and a moment later, Kilgharrah alighted in front of them.

"Do not harm Arthur," Merlin ordered the moment the dragon landed. "I know you wouldn't," he added before Kilgharrah could get offended, "but I just want to make sure Arthur knows too."

The dragon smiled as his eyes settled on the king. "It has been a long time since I stood face-to-face with a king, and longer still since a king wished to stand face-to-face with me. Greetings, Arthur Pendragon. I mean you no harm, even without the orders of a dragonlord."

Arthur stood tall and proud next to Merlin, and if Merlin had not known him so well, he would never have guessed Arthur was afraid. The king didn't tremble and he spoke evenly; only the paleness of his skin and the stiffness of his shoulders gave him away.

"Thank you. I mean you no harm either, and I am grateful for your willingness to speak with me."

The dragon laughed. "I'm afraid I have no choice on the matter. I cannot refuse the summons of a dragonlord. But I admit, I am curious what would bring the king of Camelot to seek my counsel."

Arthur swallowed. "Well…Merlin, actually," he admitted, his eyes darting to his friend. "And destiny. I want to understand how we're tied together. I want to understand his magic."

The dragon roared with laughter. Merlin saw Arthur's eyes widen, but he stood his ground.

"The world is full of mysteries, young king," Kilgharrah said once he'd contained his mirth. "The answers you seek are veiled from even the wisest minds."

Merlin tried to stifle a smirk. He had warned Arthur.

"There was a prophecy on the wall of an old Deilen temple," Arthur persisted. "Emrys will rise alongside the Once and Future King. Born of the magic of water, which runs through his blood. Born of the magic of earth, which stands in his bones—"

"Born of the magic of air, which flows through his breath," the dragon interrupted. "Born of the magic of fire, which burns through his will. The magic of the world lives in him and through him, and in and through no other."

"You've heard it before?"

"Much is written of the coming of Emrys."

Merlin looked away so he could hide his snicker at the exasperation on Arthur's face.

"Is it true?" Arthur asked pointedly.

"It is."

Merlin's laughter vanished, leaving a heavy weight in its place.

"So I am alone," he said flatly, his fears confirmed. "I am not truly human, and I am the only one of my kind."

"Merlin," the dragon said, a note of reproach in his voice. "You are more than human, but that does not mean you are not human. Your humanity is as much a part of you as your magic. You are correct, though, that you are the only one of your kind. But you must realize, you are only as alone as you choose to be. Do you not have a father who has made you his son by choice, not obligation? Do you not have friends who have proved their love for you?" Kilgharrah lowered his head until he was only feet from Merlin. "Does your king not stand by your side even now?" Kilgharrah smiled again, a smile that even Merlin had to admit was unnerving at such a close proximity.

Merlin could tell the dragon was getting ready to make a dramatic exit, so the last question spilled out of him in a rush.

"Am I destined to become evil?" Kilgharrah paused, looking down at him in surprise. "Some say magic always corrupts in the end, and I am magic. Tell me the truth, Kilgharrah. Am I destined to eventually give in to that darkness?"

Kilgharrah's voice turned cold and sharp. "I have told you your destiny, Merlin. Whether you believe it is up to you."

And, as Merlin expected, the dragon took flight.

Beside him, he could see the tension in Arthur's posture relax as the dragon flew away.

"You weren't kidding about him being cryptic, were you?"

Merlin snorted. "That was unusually straightforward for him. Although I wouldn't have minded a more direct answer at the end there."

Arthur shrugged. "He's right, though. If you think about everything we know about your destiny, the answer is clear. If I'm supposed to do good for the people of Camelot and you're destined to help me, you can't exactly be evil, can you?"

Merlin considered Arthur's words as they started the walk back to Camelot. He understood his point, but lacked Arthur's confidence. What he would've given just to hear Kilgharrah actually say, "No, you're not destined to be evil, and no, magic doesn't always corrupt."

But then again, perhaps it was an insulting question to ask a fellow creature of magic.

He stayed lost in his thoughts for several minutes before Arthur spoke.

"He was right you know. About you only being as alone as you choose to be. And believe it or not, Merlin, I understand that's not as straightforward of a question as it might seem."

Merlin glanced at him skeptically.

"My father believed in ruling alone. He drilled it into me my whole life, that I needed to set myself apart from people. That I alone must make the choices for the kingdom. That I alone must bear the burden of ensuring the prosperity of Camelot. But I believe, with all my heart, that I don't have to bear that burden alone. Gwaine might challenge me, and Leon might offer his thoughts – much more respectfully, mind you – and Lancelot frankly sets an absurdly high bar for nobility and honor that I'm always striving to match. And heaven knows you and Gwen never hesitate to tell me when you think I'm making a mistake," he added with laugh. Then the laugh faded and his face grew serious again. "My father would think I'm weak for leaning on all of you. But I believe I'm a better king because I choose not to do this alone."

Merlin smiled despite himself. "Not that you ever listen to me," he pointed out, making Arthur smile too.

"I listen more often than you think. You have rare flashes of wisdom in the midst of your usual babbling."

They spent the rest of the journey in silence, Merlin thinking through Arthur's words.

His destiny was his own to carry. That seemed clear to him. But he also saw the logic in Arthur's words. Arthur was a better king because he let in the people around him, and it wasn't crazy to think the same principle might apply to himself.

But after so many years working alone from the shadows, he had no idea how to do it.

AN: Confession: I am so burned out on writing scenes with Kilgharrah at this point. I know I've really only had one in each multi-chapter story, but I am just 100% over it. Unfortunately, I couldn't figure out a reasonable way to avoid it, because of course Arthur would want to go talk to the dragon at this point…stupid Arthur.