Ties That Bind 1.5 The Knot
Chapter 10
Beneath It All
Author's Note: Hi everyone just a quick note to say thank you to everyone for reading and following along I worked hard to get this chapter out and worked late into the night to get it done so sorry if there are any grammar errors nut please send your thoughts and reviews and thanks for following along. Mars Light
Standard Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon never did, never will thank you!
Serena pushed her way through the crowd as she wiped away the tears from her eyes feeling like a fool to think for one moment that she would ever be accepted into this world, while wishing she had never stepped foot out here this evening, when she heard a voice louder then all the other hateful comments yelling out to her "you are not the Duchess of Pennsworth"
She turned around slowly feeling every eye cast upon her making her feel less than an inch tall, only to find out the truth, that she is nothing more then an imposter wearing a fancy gown as she saw Darien moving his way through the crowd as he looked towards her and stepped forward commenting further "and you are no mistress of mine either"
She shrunk her shoulders down not wanting to listen to any more of the hurtful comments as she shouted back all the pain and frustration, she felt inside asking him "then what am I, I am a nobody with no name to speak of"
The crowd suddenly fell quiet as everyone turned to look her way expecting answers as she shook her head telling him "I was a fool to try to be something I am not"
Darien looked to her seeing his worst thoughts come to be that this world would swallow her up inside as he shook his head and continued walking forward telling her "no, you are only a fool if you let these people destroy the light that shines so brightly inside of you, don't you see Serena you are much more than this place, and what you think you are, more than whatever these people think they see and know about you"
She looked to him blinking her eyes unsure of what he was getting at or if this was what she waited and longed to hear him say as the music suddenly stopped playing and everyone focused their attention on just the two of them as she shook her head questioning him "then who am I? who am I to you?"
Darien took a deep breath in seeing all his peers standing around them, waiting to see if he would turn and run the other direction as they expected him to do so, but his running days were over when he looked over and was surprised to see the man that he recognized from the inn, that he met that rainy night so long ago which led him to be standing here at this very moment. Now the gentleman instead of arguing was standing at the forefront of the crowd as he gave him a knowing nod of encouragement.
Darien had a small smirk cross his face as he turned and looked ahead of him to the future that he could only see with her, starring back at him with a challenge only she could muster as she crossed her arms in front of her waiting for his reply as he stepped up closer telling her "I know you Serena, I know the real you, these people are quick to judge and speak wrongly by those with no morals to speak of, but they don't know anything about you, who you are is more than some stupid title, so don't listen to a word they have to say. Listen to me Serena. Only me I know you"
She breathed out a small sigh and looked around them seeing with his words spoken that he had offended almost everyone in this room, as they all turned their attention off of her and towards the one man, they all equally despised and knew that he had chosen his words purposely to get all the hateful comments away from her as a smirk crossed her lips and she looked to him stating "go on"
He stepped forward knowing there was no more use hiding the truth away that there was something going on between them and whatever stories had been told regarding her past would soon be revealed as lies, but right now there was a more important truth to be told and he did not hesitate in doing so as he continued walking forward telling her with a small grin "at night when your dreaming I hear you hum in your sleep, it's not that loud, but always the same familiar tune, and I know when you have had a really great day because that is when you hum the loudest"
Serena stood there speechless as she felt the wind knocked out of her to hear his comment in front of all these people, confirming that they did share an unwedded bed and slept together each night as she looked to him begging "Darien stop" but to her dismay he didn't stop as he kept his focus completely on her and took a step closer telling her "you once asked me why I chose to sit and share all my meals with you. I am going to tell you it is because I enjoy the simplicity of sitting and watching you eat something you really enjoy, because you savor it, it is almost like watching the fork dance around in your mouth seeing how much you enjoy something as simple as a cooked egg"
She dropped her shoulders down and let out a loud gulp seeing everyone stopping and starring there way hearing of the intimate actions they shared together, but her focus was on another as he took another step closer to her and continued on saying "you're the only person who ever could beat me at chess, it is just another way of showing how truly smart and engaging you can be, but more so in the way that you win, you are not boastful, but your cheeks do light up, much like they are doing right now and your mouth curves up into a little grin and I don't mind losing so much to you"
She began to blush feeling not so much embarrassed any longer by his words, but surprised after not expecting to hear such comments from him here and now in a room full of people.
When they were alone in bed together and he spoke out his feelings where only she could hear them was one thing, but to do so now in a crowded room where others would hear his thoughts was something else entirely as she smiled a little wider and took a step closer to where he stood as she saw him reach out his hand for her own and she did not hesitate in taking it as he continued on telling her "you do some of the most wildest of things that others would probably think are crazy, but with you they make sense, like walking out after a rain storm to see the clouds have all passed by and in their place is an amazing rainbow", you have shown me the beauty that can come from the most unlikeliest of places"
She wiped the tears from her eyes, hearing him speak such tender words and no longer cared whether there was a room of a hundred people watching them or only two, they could continue their gossip for all they wanted, all she needed was to be here right now with him standing near as she listened while feeling her heart racing as he continued on telling her "you came from nothing, but never let that stop you and rose to be more than what anyone would expect by teaching yourself to read and write, which is more than I can say for every person in this room who had every opportunity given to them, where you struggled, but came out on top and even took the time to learn a different language at the possibility of a dream that would probably never be" as he placed his hand up to her cheek seeing the tears that were welling up in her eyes as he wiped the tears away telling her "but I don't want it to be just another dream for you. I would like to be the one to make your dream come true and show you the world myself"
She felt her whole body begin to tremble to hear him speak this way of wanting to make all her dreams come true and knew some where along the way her dreams had changed and the only dream, she wanted now, was standing right in front of her as she smiled telling him "Darien I"
He placed his hand up to her tender lips with a small shake of his head as he smiled down at her with that smile that made her heart go a flutter telling her "you asked me a question and I have your answer just listen, at night when it is just the two of us, and we sit alone by the fire and I hear you reading a story, the way you speak with such conviction. I feel so captivated by your voice it is as though the world for a few moments has changed and you and I are transported somewhere else, somewhere it can be just the two of us alone and I can feel every emotion being conveyed"
She felt her heart speed up and opened her mouth wanting to tell him she knew the exact feeling he spoke of because she felt it to, but could not find the words to speak with her emotions running high as he reached down and took her hand in his and placed a small kiss on the back of it telling her "sometimes I would watch you from the window in my study, you did not think I was watching, but I always saw when you would go and sneak out to the barn to give my horse a carrot. I saw in many ways with simple gestures you, the real you, the kind loving big hearted person that you are"
She held in a small sniffle as she looked up to him with her eyes filling with tears hearing his kind words as she shook her head asking "you did see me" knowing that he did see her in a way beyond any one else did.
He nodded his head slightly seeing that she was finally understanding what she meant to him, but that was not enough as he placed his hands down by her waist bringing her body in closer to him as he reached up and brushed his hand through her hair telling her "I have seen you, and I know you're worries and your doubts, but Serena you must realize you are more than just some title that they gave you, which is real have no doubt, but that is just a small part of who you truly are. You are better than all of the people here this evening, myself included. You are kind, generous, amazing, passionate, and all you do reflects others by always putting those in need before yourself, which is why you should not listen to any words spoken in negligence because they don't know you, not the real you"
She felt her bottom lip trembling as he reached up and wiped the remaining tears out of her eyes, she knew these were not the words that she wanted to hear him say that she held his heart in a way that no one else could and that he loved her, but it was still pretty close as she looked to him with a small twinkle in her eyes saying "if you do know me? You know what I want to hear?"
Darien smiled knowing what she was leading onto and seeing the confident girl with the bright smile looking back at him that challenged him every way as he let out a soft chuckle telling her "yes I do and you never cease to amaze me and rise up from every challenge given to you, you have an endless optimism and more so a spirit that cannot be broken, in which I find that I cannot do without"
She waited with baited breath hoping this was the moment that she had waited for so long to hear from him and gently put her hand up on his chest feeling his own heart beating, while not caring who was there to judge her actions because right now she was with a man who saw beyond what was showing on the outside and saw who she really is as a person as a smile crossed her face telling him the words that completed her heart "I love you" and hoped sincerely that this time she would hear it back.
Darien stood there with her feeling her warm hand against his chest while hearing her express the words once more that crumbled his family legacy and would seal his own fate as he reached down and placed his hand over her own telling her with a long sigh "Serena it is a lot for me to express my feelings towards you. I am not the man that you deserve to be with"
Serena shook her head expecting to hear differently and was about to deny his statement, that he could stand here in a room full of people and say all these things to her, but could not say three simple words back as she told him softly "no"
He could see the pain she hid behind her deep blue eyes and placed his finger up by her lips to silent her argument while telling her apologetically "I know, I know what you want to hear and I have not said what you want, what you deserve to hear, but this is the most I can be capable of right now. You are strong and not afraid to speak your mind of how you really feel, but I can tell you this, that you make me a better man just by being around you and I want to be near you, every moment, of everyday"
She looked up into his endless blue eyes for an answer seeing that his complete attention was focused on her alone and knew that she would not hear the words this evening of love and his endless devotion to her, but felt the strong emotions from the man that cherished her, which left her feeling a deeper joy then she expected as she smiled telling him back "I know the man that you are also, and I how hard it is for you to express your emotions and that is why seeing you standing here now for me. I can't tell you how much hearing all of this means to me"
Darien wrapped his arms around her waist holding her in closer to him as he smiled down telling her "I can't stand here and deny that what attracted me to you in the beginning was the physical connection between us, that when it sparks is something truly amazing"
Serena began to blush hearing him speak of there physical relations here in front of all others as she gently patted his arm and he continued on telling her "but what I have found is even more incredible that I need more than just a physical thrill, I need to be with you Serena for everything that you are and are capable of being and the man you challenge me to be"
She wrapped her arms around his neck wanting to hold on tight to the man she loved while knowing she would not hear him say what she desperately longed to hear from his mouth, not a declaration of love, but something else and his words were close enough to being so as she felt his hands wrap around her waist holding onto her tightly while telling her "there's no one else for me, only you, it's always been you"
She reached up her hand and gently touched his cheek where he would have a nasty bruise come morning after what she understood now was him only trying to defend her honor as she shook her head thinking of some of the crazy situations, they seem to find themselves in while telling him back with a warm smile "Darien what you just said it means so much to me."
He reached up feeling confident that his plan and actions had worked as he placed both of his hands by her cheeks and placed a short kiss to her forehead telling her "you are my Serena" she nodded her head with a simple glow to her cheeks knowing nothing between them had really changed as they heard a gentleman call out from behind them say "go on and kiss her already"
Serena let out a small chuckle as she looked up to see Darien with a gleam to his eyes that she would know anywhere as she let out a short giggle asking "are you going to do what he asks"
Darien looked to the one woman before him that he would never get tired of as he had a playful grin cross his face stating "I thought you would never ask" then wrapped his arms tightly around her and dipped her down low as he heard her let out a surprised squeal and then placed his mouth down on top of her lips claiming her as his own with a tender, sweet, loving, kiss.
Awson stood by the balcony as he watched his old pal Darien making a complete jackass of himself in front of the crowd, while falling all over some girl as he shook his head seeing that it was worse than he originally expected and Darien had went and turned into one of the elite that they used to laugh at together and use for sport as he placed his hand up to his bruised chin that his old buddy had made that way and then turned and walked away not wanting to see any more of this disgusting scene unfolding before him.
Darien slowly stood her back up to her own two feet, but did not release his hold on her as he took a deep breath in and tried to regain his own balance after feeling a little light headed after the kiss they just shared as he looked around the room seeing they were directly the center of attention with all the other guests starring there way after the unexpected and indecent move he had just made with the duchess and knew more than anything else right now they needed some alone time together as he gently reached down and took her hand in his own then leaned in whispering by her ear "come with me"
Serena stood there for a second feeling almost euphoric and was not sure which way was up or down as she raised her hand up to her lips not remembering his kisses ever being like that one, that was so heated and at the same time so passionate as she felt her own body heating up by the closeness, he held her to his own as she heard him whisper out come with me.
She shook her head coming out of the dream like state she found herself within and looked around the room seeing they had a room full of people watching them, as the whispers continued on, but knew there was still one more that was left unsaid between them of what would come next.
So much had changed from the way it was before, and knew there was no going back, but the question still remained in the air of how they would move forward when deep inside they both knew there would be changes that would have to come and now they needed some privacy to discuss it as she nodded her head and let him lead her through the whispering crowd and out onto the balcony.
She stepped out onto the dimly lit terrace and looked around seeing no longer any traces of the fight that had gone on just a few minutes earlier which led to his deep admissions to her, that is except for the feel of two arms wrapping tightly around her as she heard him whisper by her ear "are you cold"
She looked up to the moon lit night sky and felt wrapped up in his warm embrace as she shook her head replying "no not with you" he let out a small chuckle not wanting this moment to ever end while telling her "some night it has been huh? I guess this will be the talk of the town for a while"
Serena lowered her head down shamefully feeling as though she let her whole family down as she let out a deep sigh replying "yes I guess so"
Darien could sense there was more troubling her then just a few words spoken out of context as he went and leaned back against the railing while keeping his arms wrapped around her tight telling her apologetically "I'm sorry, I know this was not the night that you always dreamed of having, but once we return back to the manor together"
She closed her eyes tight and carefully removed his arms from around her as she stepped away and looked to him asking uncertain "return back to the manor?"
Darien looked to her both shocked and amazed expecting after what they just shared it would be a fore gone conclusion that she would return back with him as he looked to her questioning "don't you want to go back with me, it is where your home is Serena"
She looked up to him with a little smile and nodded her head replying "yes I do more then anything I want to go back to the way things were before between us, where we could just be together without all of the judgement and stares, but" Darien looked to her not liking what he was hearing questioning back "but?"
She took a deep breath in and looked up to the grand estate in front of them, which like it or not she was now a part of as she shook her head telling him "things have changed, haven't they"
Darien looked to her standing there before him both beautiful and unreachable as he nodded his head facing the truth of her words telling her back "yes things have changed, but it does not mean that it is over that you have to give all your dreams away"
She turned around and looked to him with a little grin asking "and what would you know of my dreams" he walked up close to her as he took her hand in his own and placed a small kiss on the back of it telling her "I know that you wanted someone to…" she looked to him waiting to see if he would say the word she wanted to hear as he finished telling her "someone to be there for you"
She dropped her shoulders down knowing that being there was not exactly what she was looking for any longer, not from him what she wanted was more as she nodded her head replying back "yes, it is important to have someone who will listen and understand, but the truth is that my dreams have changed a bit and well I guess what I want is more"
Darien looked over to her uncertain of what she meant and where this would leave them now as he questioned back "more?" Serena smiled seeing how nervous he appeared to be getting as she rested her head up against his chest telling him "yes the truth is that things did not go as I had expected them to tonight and it probably would have turned into a complete disaster if you had not been here this evening"
He let out the breath he held feeling that this conversation was definitely taking on a bit of a lighter turn as he gently smoothed down the back of her hair knowing things did not turn out as he expected them to tonight for her either, but in the end, he was still the victor and holding her tightly in his arms where he wanted her to always remain as he let out a deep sigh telling her "I'm sorry tonight did not go as I wanted it to for you. I never wanted everyone to find out about us the way they did"
Serena took a deep breath in knowing what he spoke of from Awson's earlier announcement about them and then that horrible woman making her accusations which all happened to be true, which she was certain would cause a great stir and cause her grandfather unneeded distress as she lowered her head down saying quietly "yes I am aware of that, I guess there is no hiding the truth about us is there"
Darien placed his hand under her chin as he raised her head up to look at him as he shook his head telling her "no there is not, but there is no going back or changing what is between us"
She looked to him with a little smile knowing that in his own way he was trying to express his own feelings towards her as she reached down and took his hand in her own telling him "I know you are not ready but know that I am willing to wait for you, however long it is know that I love you and my feelings won't change"
Darien took a deep breath in and placed his hand down over her stomach knowing with what was said this evening they were far past the point of waiting and the rumors would quickly catch up with her and he had no intentions of letting her deal with all the harpies and trolls on her own as he shook his head telling her "Serena you must understand that with everything that was said tonight there will be talk, and certain expectations to follow"
She turned and looked back at him with a shake of her head unsure at what he was getting at as she questioned "expectations?" he let out the deep breath he held knowing what he had run away from in the past only this time there was no more running as he reached out and took her hand in his own saying "if you want me to marry you I will"
Serena felt like the air was just knocked out of her lungs as she looked up to him taken back by his words, feeling her head was spinning around unsure if she had just heard correctly that Darien the man that kept his emotions and fears of commitment closed tightly away had just told her he would marry her.
She wanted to jump up and down, scream out loudly while throwing her arms around his neck so all would hear her say yes, but she didn't. Instead, she stood there feeling a chill run down her arms realizing he never would have asked her to marry him at all if Awson had not said what he did in front of all those people and knew the only reason he was asking her to marry him now was because he felt he had too and she needed more reason than that to be married.
She let out a small chuckle amazed with herself and the choice that she was making as she slowly stepped away from his embrace and took a deep breath in as she turned around telling him "that is not necessary" and then began to walk up closer to the main house.
Darien stood there stunned taken back by her response, he had never considered marriage an option before she came along and now that he got the words out he knew it was what he wanted, but to hear her turn him down he felt a sharp blade slicing him in half and quickly reached out to grab onto her arm before she could take another step further away from him while demanding "Serena what are you saying? Did you not just say a moment ago that you wanted to be with me and would wait as long as it takes, well I am here right now"
She closed her eyes tight wishing that were only true as she took a deep breath in hearing his sudden proposal, knowing he was only asking because he felt pressured into doing so as she opened her eyes up wide and looked to him stating back "you do not want to marry me Darien, you are only saying so because you feel that it is the right thing to do, but I need more reason than that"
Darien quickly walked over to her bridging the gap between them as he shook his head telling her stubborn "Serena you may want the fairy tale but this is the reality where given, and people will expect this that I make a proper lady out of you and I am standing right in front of you now and I"
She quickly cut him off before he finished speaking, hearing him make if possible, this proposal of his only worse as she let out a deep laugh asking "and what Darien? Are you going to stand there now and profess to loving me, well go ahead tell me you love me Darien, you can't ask someone to marry you without saying I love you first, so say it, say it and mean it, tell me you love me?"
Darien looked to her seeing the stubborn look she held and knew she meant what she said and would not agree to marrying him without him actually saying the words she wished to hear first as he took a deep breath in saying "Serena I" as he looked up to her expectant face and then hesitated.
Serena felt her heart slowly breaking down to pieces, seeing even when they were alone together just the two of them, he couldn't say the words she needed to hear as she shook her head telling him sadly "you can't say it can you, you can't say it because you don't mean it, you don't love me, do you Darien?"
He looked to her seeing her eyes filling up with tears and knew what he had to say what she wanted him to say, but deep inside could not find the words to express the emotion that he had steered clear of most of his life as he shook his head telling her apologetically "Serena I" but did not get a chance to finish his comment when a loud booming voice came up from behind them shouting out "stay away from her this instant haven't you caused enough trouble"
Darien rolled his eyes back knowing this was the last thing that they needed right now was for her grandfather to show up as he turned around to see the duke come walking up to him storming mad as he raised his cane up and pointed it towards Darien and in an accusing tone stated "I told you to leave the premises at once and now look what you have done. Serena is not out an entire evening and her reputation is completely ruined"
Serena looked to her grandfather knowing things were being taken far out of context seeing as it was not Darien's fault as she tried to explain telling him "but, it wasn't he who started" Pennsworth turned his head to look towards his granddaughter who purposely went against every single thing he told her to do tonight and brought complete dishonor upon the Pennsworth name as she called out loudly "silence, not another word spoken from you, you have done enough for one evening. I will pick up the pieces from here. Now go upstairs to your room"
Serena stood there shaking her head as she placed her hands down on her hips telling him forcefully "I will not, I am not some disobedient child for you to send me to my room" Pennsworth turned to look at her as he shook his head stating "yes well the decisions that you have made this evening have made me so proud being caught in the dark with this scoundrel and then having it declared in front of a room full of the highest society that you come from nothing and were his"
Serena looked to her grandfather hearing his hurtful comments as she shouted back "his what say it, say what I truly am" as Pennsworth shook his head angrily stating "his sex slave, well I will not have it you here me" as he turned back to Darien telling him forcefully "you will stay away from her"
Darien looked to the duke angry to hear him making his demands again coming in between them once more as he looked to Serena with a shake of his head stating coldly "choose?"
Serena turned to look to Darien shocked by his comment as she shook her head stating "you cannot make me choose between you and my own grandfather"
Darien had no remorse as he shook his head telling her firmly "he is doing the same, now go ahead and choose either marry me or stay here and be the duchess of Pennsworth what will it be Serena"
Pennsworth looked to his granddaughter as he shook his head stating coldly "you will not marry this man I forbid it do you hear me Serena, you will not make the same mistakes your mother did"
Serena looked between the two men as she covered her eyes and shook her head crying out "stop please you cannot make me choose between you both. Darien, I love you, but I can't marry you if you don't feel the same and grandfather, I have waited my entire life to have a real loving family, but I am not my mother and you cannot judge my decisions based on her personal choices"
Darien stood there feeling angry and hurt that after opening himself up and saying aloud everything he had just told her and they had experienced together, that she still would not choose to leave with him, deciding to stay in this cold ruthless world as he looked and saw the duke standing once more between them as he told Pennsworth, but mostly Serena "fine if that is the way you feel. I will make it easy on you and take my leave" as he turned to walk away, but then stopped and faced the duke once more telling him "I guess you won after all"
Serena stood there in shock not wanting it to end this way as she cried out "don't go" Darien stopped walking for a moment as he turned back to face her seeing the tears, she cried for him while saying stubbornly "make your choice Serena yes or no"
She reached up and wiped away the tears from her eyes seeing what his possessive tendencies had led them to having to chose as she took a deep breath and shook her head replying back "my answer is no" Darien nodded his head as he bowed his head down formally telling her "I hope you will be happy with the choice you have made this evening duchess" as he turned to walk away.
Serena felt her knees buckling down wanting to fall down to the ground as she shook her head showing the raw emotion on her face of her broken heart crumbling to pieces while crying out "no please" as the duke looked to her with a sour face stating "now go inside you have guests waiting, while I clean up this mess you have made"
Serena looked to him as she shook her head knowing that he was partially to blame for Darien's leaving as she shouted back angrily "no I don't want to be a duchess any longer, I don't want any of this" as she shook her head needing to find some space to be alone and went running down the steps to the gardens below.
She quickly looked around seeing the rows upon rows of flowers all in bloom and picked up the hem of her dress and ran as fast as she could until through the garden as she wiped the tears from her eyes and eventually tripped and fell over a rock that was in her path and landed down on her bottom as she placed her head down in her hands and cried "how did everything turn into such a mess"
The duke stood formally as he took a deep breath in and let it out watching her retreat into the garden, expecting that she could not cause any further damage for one evening and then slowly walked back inside the ballroom feeling tired after this whole episode as he addressed one of the servants telling them "the ball has come to an end have everyone leave, except the Viscount Bradford I have a private matter I wish to speak with him about in my study"
Emily nodded her head as she watched the duke walk right past while making no eye contact with her and then took one last look out the doorway after watching the painful look in Serena's face before she had run off into the night with a broken heart as she looked up at the stars in the sky and took a deep breath then letting it out and headed back inside to do as the duke ordered.