"So, Percy asked me to set up a picnic basket in the Astronomy Tower."
"Mmmhmm,"
"I told him to make his own dates, but then he promised me his notes in Transfiguration."
"Yep,"
"I think if I make a really good basket, I might be able to get Charms too."
"Hmm,"
"Then I pushed him off the Astronomy Tower, do you think mum will mind?"
"Yeah," Sarah says blandly, imagining what Lupin would say if she asked about her dad's friends.
"Me too, but Fred'll give me a high five for sure."
"Mmmhmm," What if she stops trying to get him to relax. Maybe if she makes him uncomfortable it'll be easier to-
"Sonorus, SARAH POTTER ARE YOU AWAKE?!" Sarah jumps out of her skin almost falling off her chair. Everyone else is looking at them as Ginny's amplified voice echoes through the courtyard.
"What the fuck?" Ginny smugly pulls her wand away from her neck.
"Quietus, what were we talking about?"
"Why you shouldn't yell at people," Sarah spits moving her chair farther from Ginny. "You scared the shit out of me."
"If you had been paying attention you would've seen me pull out my wand." She twirls it absently. "What're you thinking about?"
"Nothing, I was just, looking at." The courtyard is markedly empty. "Um, the clouds." Ginny looks at the bright blue sky, and raises an eyebrow.
"Whatever," She crosses her arms and legs and turns away in her chair.
"I'm here now, you were talking about Bill, right?"
"Is that how long you haven't been listening?" Her heart drops at Ginny's tone.
"Look, I've got a lot going on."
"Well, at least I know that. Hell if I hear what it actually is."
"It's not about you, Ginny."
"Don't worry, I figured out that much." Sarah bites down keeping her retort to herself. "Sometimes, I think you're cool, but then." She tenses and shakes her head. "Then you show your true colors."
"And what colors are those?" Ginny's eyes widen "Is it green, by chance?"
"Oh, Shut Up!" Ginny leaps to her feet. "You need to let that go!" Sarah's gotten to hers as well.
"Why? No one else is going to."
"You are so thick!"
"Am I? Thank you for explaining that to me." Sarah feels her face warming. Alarm bells go off, urging her to back up. Go walk it off.
"If you weren't so damn blind, you'd realize I meant because you're two-faced. Does anyone know the real you, Sarah?!" She takes a step back and attempts to calm herself. "No, you just act like who's around. I'm talking to Slinkhard. I'll act stupid."
"Emmeline is not stupid," She cuts in. Ginny laughs, it's not a real laugh, just cruel and loud. Sarah's hands start shaking.
"I'll remember that the next time a cauldron exploads!" She blinks, realizing this must have been last year. It's been a while since she's been confronted with that reality. Sarah turns away only to be blocked by a mass of spectators.
"You're walking away again, Sarah. Just as soon as it's convenient for you!" She pushes past the line and keeps walking. Her feet carry her to the familiar path and after a quick look around to make sure no one's watching she disappears into the forest slinging her bag onto a low branch.
Sarah runs, and she keeps running. Her breath already short and furious. She hears panting before she sees him and keeps running. Their loud footsteps crunching the sea of leaves. Her thighs start to ache, and her chest heaves.
Sarah slows and falls with her back against a tree and sobs. "It's not fair!" The dog trots up to her slowly. "I don't remember, I don't fucking remember anything!" She kicks at a rock with her heel, the dog doesn't stop.
"Fuck Malfoy! Fuck Lydia! Fuck Cadmus! and Fuck Ginny!" The dog sits next to her, just looking with sympathetic eyes. Sarah stares back at him and puts her hand out. He passes it, putting his head on her lap. She hugs him, even though it must be terribly uncomfortable.
"You're a stupid dog," The dog whines,
"You're supposed to be some fucking grim-reaper, why are you here?" No answer because he's a fucking dog. Sarah sighs, making herself laugh to help stop the crying. "I guess as far as reaper's go, you're not terrible." He gives her a little yip of confirmation. She laughs for real this time.
"You can't talk, right?" He says nothing, and Sarah smiles. "Good, I have a lot to tell you."
...
The grounds are cold as she makes her way back to the castle. Far too cold for her summer robes. Sarah stuffs her arms inside her cloak, shivering. The cause of the weather makes itself known as she climbs the hill. Black cloaks swirling through the grounds, two at the main door, and three patrolling the grounds. She shivers and looks down.
"I hate these things," The dog's hackles are raised and his teeth bared. It's the first time he's ever looked menacing. Her watch says six-fifty, they're ten minutes early. One dementor is getting uncomfortably close, and a low growl vibrates from below.
"Hush, Reaper. You can't do anything." She pulls her wand out, knowing she also can't do anything, and takes a step into the open. "Go back to the forest, I'll see you later." He moves to her left instead and pushes on her leg.
"I've got to get back to the castle," Sarah groans. "I'll get detention if I'm late." He growls again and pushes harder. She looks to her right to see Hagrid's hut. She blinks before shrugging and heading that way. Going with someone as large and strong as Hagrid has got to be better than going alone. She shivers again, this time only partially because of the cold. She doesn't want to relive the train incident.
As soon as she knocks Reaper disappears into the forest. The door swings in and Hagrid's great shaggy head peers out.
"Sarah?"
"Hello, Hagrid." He stares at her.
"What are yeh doing out here?!" Winching away from his yell she smiles.
"Freezing, can I come in for a bit?" She ducks inside as he continues going off about the danger.
"And why are you alone?! Sarah. Sirius Black could be out there right now!"
"But he wasn't," Sarah points out with a smile. "It's good to see you, Hagrid." She turns towards the fire and almost leaps back outside.
"Oh!" A giant bird head is mounted in front of the fire. It blinks at her, and she sees it is not mounted, but connected to a neck, and the body is folded on the floor. "Oh," She repeats, this time with recognition. "This is Buckbeak?"
"Er, yeah." Hagrid mutter grouchily. "He don't like the dementors, so I've been bringing him in at night."
"Nice," She stares at the bird and he stares at her. "So, how do I make sure I don't get sliced?"
"Stay away from him," Now his voice has turned sullen, Sarah keeps staring at Buckbeak and takes a step forward. The beast rises very quickly looking much too big inside the hut. She expects Hagrid to say something, but he doesn't. They don't break eye contact, and Sarah bows low before him.
"I promise I won't call you an ugly brute,"
He squawks once then bows back to her.
Hagrid is smiling as she rises. "Suppose if a second-year can do it, we might have a case." She nods, unwilling to voice her misgivings. Buckbeak readily meets her eyes again, and she takes a step towards him.
"Harry said, hippogriffs are proud."
"Fiercely proud," He confirms happily, She puts her hand on his beak. "As long as you respect them, they'll be kind to you. Fantastic companions, hippogriffs are, loyal as a dog once they get to know you." Buckbeak settles back to his spot by the fire and lets her stroke his head.
"I'm a fan," She decides out loud. "Could I ride him sometime?" Hagrid frowns,
"Now, I don't know. With him being on trial, the Ministry might-"
"Not if we don't tell them."
"Dumbledore might get in trouble."
"Well, let me know when you decide. I'd like to ride him."
"Maybe one o t'other hippogriffs." That doesn't suit, there's something very pleasing at the thought of riding the hippogriff that hurt Malfoy.
"Ok," Hagrid looks at his clock and starts grumbling.
"It's after seven, Sarah. You've got to get to the castle."
"That's a good idea. I guess, I'll just head off." Hagrid's already got his umbrella and is glaring at her. It's hard not to laugh as they walk out the door. "Thank you, Hagrid."
"If yer out past curfew again I will take away House Points," He growls, the dementors flock towards them, as soon as they're in the open. Sarah walks a little closer to Hagrid. "Go on now! Get back to yer posts, yeh cloaked devils,"
"Come on, Sarah,"
Her heart beats faster, passing by the dementors for Herbology has become a difficult maneuver. She'd put herself in the biggest crowd hoping to pass by unnoticed, it's still cold, and sometimes it feels like someone else is trying to crawl into her skin, but she doesn't hear Tom.
"I said Back Off!" Hagrid booms, she feels his voice in her chest, but it's as if he's speaking through a fog.
She hears a faint hissing, but it doesn't come from her, instead, it comes from the diary in her hands.
She'd stopped walking. Hagrid's ahead screaming at the advancing dementor. Sarah jogs to catch up with him.
She looks up as the vault in front of her begins clicking as carved snakes move on their own to open it. She climbs through the vault.
She can't seem to run anymore, a hand touches her shoulder.
There's a stone carving of Salazar Slytherin at the end of a long room, and on all sides, there are carvings of giant serpents. A loud sob leaves her and echoes through the room. Sarah stops herself in the middle and turns looking at all the stones.
"Please Tom, I'm scared," Sarah whispers, apparently to no one. The diary grows warm in her hand, but it isn't the same comforting warmth she'd gotten used to all year. She involuntarily keeps walking forward until she's at the end of the room. It lets her go, and she crashes to the wet stone, her feet no longer able to support her. Sarah hurls the diary away from her. Breaking down in sobs.
"Shhh," a voice sounds to her right. She jerks her head but sees nothing. "It's almost over, Sarah." She looks intently at where the sound is coming from and starts to see a faint outline.
"Tom?" She tries to stand, her heart starts beating uncontrollably and she gives up.
"Yes, Sarah"
"Why Tom? I thought you were my friend." The outline becomes more defined and she can almost see facial features.
"We are friends Sarah, I've helped you all year. Now it's your turn to help me." She sees the cruel smirk and flashing eyes. He meets her stare and smiles even wider.
"You've been a very silly girl Sarah." Sarah feels her blood run cold at these words, actually, everything's starting to feel cold. She lets go of her knees and falls to the floor with nothing more to support her. He stands over her. Tom kneels to the floor and grabs her arms, setting them firmly over her chest. Sarah tries to fight him, but almost at once her eyes close and she loses consciousness. "Thank you,"
…
"How?" Snape asks without preamble as McGonagall meets him in the corridor.
"Hagrid brought her in, she was unconscious." Matching his quick steps exactly, she continues. "He said that she came to him before curfew, they talked for a bit and he was escorting her back to the castle."
"And why was that after seven?"
"You know Hagrid, Severus. I'd assume he got distracted." Snape says nothing to this. "She's probably already awake."
"Oh she better be," She nods, and they burst into the Hospital room together. Hagrid's there, looking completely miserable, Sarah is not to be found. Poppy plants herself in front of them with her hands on her hips.
"Sarah needs rest! I will not have you-"
"Where is she?" He snarls,
"She needed a change of clothes, and you will turn right back around, Severus. You can talk to her tomorrow!"
"Poppy, how is she?" McGonagall asks soothingly, he catches her warning look and bites his tongue.
"Scared and exhausted, she doesn't need to be interrogated."
"What can you tell us?" Pomfrey sighs,
"Potter had more spirit coming back from the Chamber then when she woke up from this, Minerva." Hagrid breaks into sobs,
"S'all my fault I shoulda called a Professor. I can't make a Patronus." McGonagall glares once at him before going to the half-giant.
"Hagrid, please, tell us what happened."
"They distracted me. I swear they made a plan, I was yellin at one o them, and when I looked back four of them were on 'er, and, and-"
"And he saved me," It's a cold hollow voice that interrupts him. "Hagrid ran through them and carried me to the castle. I owe him my life." Hagrid cries louder, the girl, in a thick sweater and pants makes her way forward. Her skin is usually pale against her red hair, but there's almost a bluish tinge to it as she climbs into a bed and pulls a pillow in front of her.
"You've heard what happened now. Leave them to-" The doors burst open again and Albus Dumbledore strides through, his eyes still flashing with subdued anger.
"I see we are already gathered, good. I'd like to hear what happened from the beginning."
"Albus, really! Can't we do this somewhere else?"
"I wish we could, but as Miss Potter is central to this story it is impossible to get the full explanation elsewhere." One of the doors swing open and a small boy with black hair sprints inside.
"Sarah is she-"
"Out! OUT! I will have no more than two people at a time!" The room breaks into argument, he doesn't look away from the girl as she clutches the pillow tighter and tighter, looking into nothingness before her.
"I'll go," Hagrid says at last.
"No! You will stay here and eat your chocolate!" Pomfrey snaps, looking at the four of them.
"I suppose I am not needed, Come on Mr. Potter. You've seen your sister. You'll get to see her again in a bit." Potter looks helplessly between the adults for someone to appeal to. No one relents so he walks away with McGonagall's hand on his shoulder.
"Thank you, Minerva," Dumbledore says and walks to Sarah. "Now, could you start from the beginning, Miss Potter?" The girl blinks as if hearing him for the first time. Then looks at each person in the room. The last being Hagrid,
"I was, um, by the lake, and when I went to go back to the castle the dementors were out." Her voice is bland, "I didn't want to pass them, so I went to Hagrid's instead. It happened like he said." Snape looks to Dumbledore for confirmation, he shakes his head.
"My dear, girl, is there anything else, you'd like to tell us?" It's hard not to scoff.
"No, sir," Sarah says, still bland, still cold. "That's it,"
"What time did you go to the lake?" Snape says softly,
"I don't know, after dinner?"
"An hour after? A minute after?"
"I guess about thirty or forty minutes."
"And what time did you go to Hagrid's?"
"Six fifty," Snape smiles,
"You spent almost two hours by the lake?" She shifts,
"Yes?"
"Did anyone see you?"
"Not unless your spies were about?" A bit a fire on that one, good that'll make this easier.
"Spies?" Dumbledore's voice is calm, but Snape's been around him long enough to recognize unease.
Snape gives him a look to say, 'I'll explain later,' but Dumbledore's face is stony.
"A joke, Professor." Sarah cuts in, "A bad one, I guess. I was talking about the House Elves." Snape raises an eyebrow, "You see, Professor Snape's been keeping a close eye on me after last year."
"Is she...covering for me?"
Snape looks at her, just barely tapping her mental walls to get an idea, he's surprised by her resilience. Most likely helped by her inclination to close herself off instead of feeling.
It wouldn't be enough to fool Dumbledore, but the question remains, why?
She leans back staring innocently. It'd be a risky call...but.
"To make sure you're staying where you're supposed to," She flinches and looks down biting her lip.
"Severus!" Pomfrey scolds. "Can't you see she's been through enough?!"
"Enough? You think coddling her will make her stop acting such a fool?" He expected her to at least give him an indignant glance, but it's as if she didn't even hear him.
"Hagrid, is there anything else?" Dumbledore asks calmly.
"Nothing, except, er ."
"Except I insisted we have tea first." Sarah cuts in. We wouldn't have been late if it weren't for me." Hagrid's chair moves, but Snape isn't looking at him.
"And what time did they get here?" Pomfrey looks at the clock.
"Twenty after seven."
"Then I think twenty points, and detention for a week starting at six-fifty." Pomfrey opens her mouth only to close it when Dumbledore raises his hand.
"It is past time for us to go, Severus." He walks away.
Taking one last look at Sarah, she meets his eyes and nods.
"Would you like me to send for Harry, dear?"
"Um, I'm actually really tired." He hears her say to Pomfrey quietly.
"Of course, eat this, and I'll turn down the lights."
"Thank you, Madame Pomfrey." The door closes behind him. Dumbledore stares as they walk together. He can almost hear the cogs working in his mind, considering every angle.
"Severus,"
"Yes?"
"Is there anything you wish to tell me?"
"Not yet, Headmaster." Dumbledore nods,
"She trusts you,"
"No."
"More than me," He shrugs. "Keep on helping Lupin." Ten years ago, Snape would have jerked and asked how Dumbledore knew that.
"Yes, Headmaster," They part ways at the stairs.
…
"Sarah! Sarah! You're dreaming!"
It's become easier to remember that she's no longer eleven. Tom can't touch her anymore. Even with the discovery of a new memory, she can keep herself from attacking the matron.
"Sssorry," She mumbles grabbing her forehead. "Didn't mean to-"
"You've had nightmares like that before," It's not a question, her face warms in her hands. "You should have told me, I can help you with-"
"I don't need anything." Pomfrey sniffs,
"Your eyes say otherwise."
"Dementors just tried to kill me," She tries feebly,
"I know the effects of a dementor attack, and I know what happens when my students are not sleeping." She groans and makes to get up, but Pomfrey pushes her back down.
"Let go of me!" Pomfrey does, her eyes wide. "Sorry, I just, I didn't mean, sorry." She finishes lamely.
"It's alright, you are not the first student who doesn't like to be touched."
"It's not, I mean-"
"I just need you to remain in the bed." She settles deeper into the mattress with a sigh. "I'm going to take your pulse, now." Sarah nods and holds out her hand. Madame Pomfrey takes her wrist gently, then moves a hand to her forehead. It's much softer than the last time she had examined her and Harry on the first.
Too embarrassed to say anything, she sits up and tries to roll off the bed a second time.
"Not quite yet, Miss Potter." She sighs and goes back. "I'd like for you to be truthful with me this time. How often are you having these nightmares?" Her chest aches, and she looks away. What number would seem truthful without being out of the ordinary? Sarah looks up with a light smile.
"Umm, not that much. Just-" Pomfrey shakes her head,
"How many times a week?"
"Maybe two," Her hands go to her hips, "Or three," She still doesn't look impressed so Sarah groans "Or five,"
"I suppose that's the best I can expect from you, but you should know I want complete honesty from my students."
"Good thing I'm not yours,"
"Yes, Madame Pomfrey." Sarah finally manages to squirm away from the matron and make her way to the restroom. Her cloak is hanging up instead of folded where she'd left it. It's soft and almost warm to the touch. Madame Pomfrey must've cleaned it after she'd pissed herself yesterday. Sarah shrugs into it trying not to think too hard about that.
When she enters Pomfrey tsks under her breath, but doesn't say anything more as she sits by her bed and pulls Standard Book of Spells Grade 2 from her bag. The sun rises as she finishes the chapter on Imobulus. Madame Pomfrey reenters with a corked bottle.
"You need to get some sleep. This will help you."
"I don't need-"
"You will take this," Sarah takes the bottle and slips it into her pocket. "You don't need more than two tablespoons to last the night. Do not drink coffee, don't read before bed, and try to do something active every day." Pomfrey sighs, "If you still have nightmares, write them down, if they're recurring you might remember you're dreaming."
"Yes, Madame," Pomfrey purses her lips and shakes her head.
The walk back to her Common Room is dark and silent. The dark wall before her, she whispers. "Evans," It doesn't open. Sarah scowls at it. "Come on, Evans." Nothing, she sighs and lets herself fall against the wall, passing the time by practicing Imobulous on the pages of her book.
"Ah, the dementors didn't get you, then." Sarah looks up with a grimace.
"Not this time,"
"Good, we missed you at coffee." Martin holds out a hand, but she's already up with her bag and book.
"Did the password change?"
"Oh, yeah. This morning. The day you were born."
"That seems rather obvious."
"If you're stupid enough to say the entire date, yeah, just the day of the month." She smirks,
"That'll make things easy." The other fifth-years funnel outside behind her. "See you later,"
"Don't go chasing dementors." She looks longingly at the empty coffee pot and trudges up to the dormitory. Augusta's awake and dressed, but the rest of her roommates are still in the midst of their dreams. They don't exchange a greeting, and Sarah puts the bottle of potion in the back of her bottom drawer. She decides to leave her bag by her bed and only take her wand to breakfast. It always starts late on Sundays, so she heads to the library.
For the first time since she arrived at Hogwarts, the library is empty except for Madame Pince. Sarah sneaks past her as she checks books, going straight to the autobiographies. Sarah grabs the book and whispers "Pudicitiam," The shelf turns and Sarah enters with a smile.
The tunnel is relatively warm and she pulls her cloak off draping it over her arm. The line of portraits lets her see out into the castle as she heads up the staircase.
Peeves floats by on the third floor, while Filch is screaming at him on the fourth. A group of Ravenclaws are attempting to charm the staircase back to them. She passes Percy and Penelope on the seventh as they make out against the banister.
Finally, she reaches the end, breathless. The staircase to the Astronomy tower. Sarah turns back and exits out from behind the suit of armor behind Percy. They don't look up as she walks past them to the Gryffindor Common Room.
A bright blonde head is the first to exit and Sarah pushes away the jolt of angst in her chest.
"Collin,"
"Oh, morning," He yawns,
"Could you tell Harry I'm here?"
"I think he's already out. I heard him and Ron talking about birthday presents."
"Oh, God. I forgot about Hermione's birthday." Sarah groans.
"From what I heard, I think they did too." Sarah tries to make a gift materialize from thin air as he awkwardly edges past her. She moves out of his way,
"Oh, Collin. If you take a picture of Percy right now I promise you won't regret it." He picks up his camera from around his neck. Sarah points at the corridor and he jogs away.
Breakfast will be in thirty minutes, making a slow trek down the stairs may be the best time-waster for the morning. Harry will find her there, and maybe she can get in on their last-minute birthday present. Sarah takes another look at the portrait only to have it open up a second time and a freckled face almost slumps out of the portrait.
"Morning, Fred,"
"'M not Fred,"
"Yes you are," He opens his eyes and rolls them.
"You're a dirty sneak,"
"Not as bad as you,"
"Uh-huh, why are you up here? It's Sunday,"
"I was going to TP the common room,"
"Don't let me stop you, we need new decorations."
"Next time,"
"Alright," They start down the steps together, he keeps looking at her. On the fifth floor, she stops in front of him. "Alright, I've got a bone to pick with you."
"What's up?"
"Why did Ginny come storming up here in tears?" Wincing, she pulls on the sleeve of her shirt,
"Are you going to fight all your sisters' battles?"
"No, she'd kill me if she knew I was doing this,"
"Maybe I should tell her then,"
"Nope, you owe me one, and I'm calling it in." Sarah makes a face,
"That's not fair at all,"
"You're the one who offered," She crosses her arms, but doesn't say anything. "Look, I know fights happen." He puts a hand behind his neck, "She's really upset, and Hermione said she got worse after hearing about your dementor catching."
"I wasn't dementor catching!"
"It was a joke, Potter," But Fred isn't smiling. "I don't know what you were going through last year, but Ginny stuck with you. Now it's your turn." The injustice burns through her.
He sighs looking lost for the first time she's ever seen. "Ginny's, well, she can be frustrating. I'll be the first to admit that, but so are you."
"Me?" Sarah tries to bite it back, but the word slips through anyway.
"Your flip-flopping, we've all seen it."
"Two-faced,"
"So you're talking about me behind my back?"
"We're worried about you." Sarah raises an eyebrow, "Especially Ginny,"
"Well, you don't have to. I can take care of myself."
"Here's the thing, when Professor McGonagall told us Ginny blamed herself." Her heart drops to her stomach. "When Percy decided to be an ass, she hit him with a bat-bogey hex that put him in the Hospital Wing."
"She, she didn't have to-"
"No, but that's Ginny," Fred smiles, "She also told us about his girlfriend. I personally enjoy vengeful secret telling."
"I-"
"Here's the deal, I will make sure Ginny's in the Artefact room after breakfast. You will be there because you owe me. Just talk to her,"
"You really want to waste your favor on this?"
"Yeah, Common Room's too gloomy with your brother and Ginny." Sarah smiles,
"Alright, but if I end up in the Hospital Wing again I will pay it forward."
Thank you all for reading!
I will not update until after Christmas, so Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah, or whatever the fuck you celebrate, if you don't do anything this time of year have a fantastic day.
I do not own Harry Potter.