AN: Hello my friends. I am so sorry for the delay in this chapter. I recently suffered an unexpected loss, and I'm having a difficult time. I know it's not an excuse, but I've just been down.
This chapter has had six different drafts in four weeks. I'm not sure I'm satisfied, but it definitely captures my melancholy. Please review and let me know what you think. I promise this next update will not take four weeks.
December 6, 1976
Muggleborn Hogwarts Student Dies After Being Attacked At Hogwarts
Rita Skeeter
Are our children safe? Its an age-old question, which has kept many parents up at night, especially as of late. Many parents are currently contemplating the safety of their children under Dumbledore's regime at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Parents are questioning whether its wise to keep their students enrolled.
Alex Cruz, a fifth year Gryffindor student at Hogwarts, was pronounced dead late last night, senior officials at St. Mungo's confirm. The boy was attacked, alongside two other students, on October 11th. Cruz was said to be attacked with the Cruciatus Curse for an extended period of time. He was admitted to St. Mungo's for treatment. The two other students had minor injuries, including memory loss and a few cuts and bruises.
The attacks seem to be the latest in a series of attacks on muggleborn students, which began in October of 1975. Most recent attacks include the mysterious death of muggleborn Derek Button and his entire family and the disappearance of seventh year Blake Henderson and his family. Button and Henderson were both openly dating pureblood witches, Alice Fawley and Flora Bell respectively. Alex Cruz was also believed to be dating a pureblood witch. Could the attacks be a message from pureblood extremists, warning young purebloods not to date muggleborns?
"It's a tragedy," Healer Owahl Belby commented. "The boy was admitted in such a horrific state. We did everything we could for him, but his body couldn't recover from the stress."
Hogwarts administrators refused to comment – highly suspicious considering the attack happened on school grounds, most likely by a fellow student. No word about new precautions or new school reform has yet to be announced.
Melinda Cruz, the late Alex Cruz's sister commented, "Schools are supposed to keep children safe. When Alex received his letter, we were so proud, knowing we have a wizard in the family. They didn't tell us he'd be hated, discriminated against. The school was aware of the attacks; he'd been attacked last year. Yet, they did nothing to stop them. And now Alex is dead."
Miss Cruz could not continue the interview as she began to sob uncontrollably. Many parents agree with Cruz; why didn't Hogwarts keep Alex safe?
Funeral service information has been kept private, to respect the family's wishes. However, Hogwarts will be hosting a small memorial in Hogsmead before the train departs for the holidays, a small constellation for the cost of a life.
Mary read the paper, blinking back tears. Alice was sitting next to her, blissfully unaware of the front-page article of the Daily Prophet. Alex Cruz was dead. Alex Cruz was dead after being attacked on the same night as her and Alice.
"Ally," Mary whispered, her voice hoarse. Tears were slipping from her eyes. Alice looked up, her smile falling off her face in an instant. Alice quickly read the article.
"Alex... he can't be dead." Alice said softly, her face crestfallen. "How dare the Skeeter woman tarnish their names? Could the attacks be a warning from pureblood extremists, warning young purebloods not to date muggleborns? What else could it be?"
Alice would have continued her rant, but she noticed Mary's face. "Why don't we go somewhere?" Alice asked in soft, kind voice. Mary had never heard Alice use that voice before. "I think we both deserve the day off."
Lily,
My parents are doing well. Sirius has been amusing them with all his purchases from Zonkos. They seem to be mostly recovered, though Dad is still having trouble walking.
Healer Holloway said that's normal, that his brain has to relearn everything. It's still heartbreaking to watch your father - who taught me how to walk - struggle to move from the sofa to the kitchen.
Their minds are learning at a remarkable rate, however. Mom can remember everything up until I was six now. She keeps telling stories about how I set fire, accidentally of course, to the horrid Christmas sweater my Great-Aunt Dominique gave me. It was with unintentional magic, and I was six mind you, but Great-Aunt Dominique never bought me a present again. Course she was a complete loon insisting that the Nargles are simply just biding their time, in their invisible state, until they can take control of the human race.
I've enclosed my half of the Transfiguration and Potions projects with this letter. It's not the same as actually doing it with you, I know, but it's the best I can do for the time being. And I actually completed both assignments. You can proofread them and make changes, but I was hoping this would help lighten your workload.
There's something I have to say, and I've been putting it off for quite some time now. I'm sorry about everything that happened when I found you with Snape. I was just so scared for you, Lil. With everything going on, and all the attacks on the muggleborns. If something were to happen to you, I don't know what I'd do.
You said I reminded you of the old Potter, and the truth is that confuses me. I don't feel I've changed that much in the course of the year, or less even. We don't fight anymore because I don't fight. I can't say I never wanted to, as those arguments, especially in fourth year were… Well to me - and I realize that it definitely did not mean the same to you - were our really intense, odd way of flirting. You'd get mad and flushed and I'd imagine other ways I could make you flush that way and… well that's not the point.
I've been working so hard to keep us from fighting, that I've forgotten how fighting is our thing. It still is, we bicker constantly. You tease and insult me regularly - not that I'm complaining because I love our banter. But I've been trying so hard to be the person you want me to be. It's easy being around you because I feel like I am free to be exactly who I am.
I am not making sense, am I? I'm struggling to put my words down on paper. For so long, I put on this act to impress you. I started fights and picked on Snape because I wanted you to notice me. I played up the Quidditch thing to make myself seem more important. That was the act. It was all an act because I wanted you in my life. Now being around you, when it's you and me, I can say whatever and do whatever and you understand. When you say I'm acting like the "old Potter," I'm not sure what to do about that.
I care about you. Probably more than I should, but there it is. I may have been a prick to Snape, and I am sorry for that. But I'm not sorry about worrying about you, Lily. I'm not sorry for following you to the dungeon because I thought something bad might happen to you. Cruz died yesterday. Did you see the news? I didn't know Alex that well, but the truth is, his death terrifies me. This war isn't going to end anytime soon. We are going to have to face it.
I'm scared for Mary and all of the other muggleborns, but I'm so desperately scared for you. I fought so hard to get you in my life, Lily, and the thought of you being hurt or killed scares me. I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable, but you are so incredibly important to me and it makes me sick to my stomach thinking that you are in danger. You asked me once if we could pretend that the war isn't affecting us. I said that we could, but I think we both know that we are past that.
I'm not sure if this letter says what I want it to say, but Sirius said if I don't send it, I'll make myself look like more of a prick, so I'm sending it now. I hope that I have not done anything to change your opinion of me because I think the world of you.
Love,
James
Marlene was pretending to read Of Mice and Men, to no avail. She shut the book with a snap and sighed. The book was certainly not helping her mood. She was laying in her bed in the Gryffindor sixth year dorm. Mary was also in her bed, though the two girls had not said a word to each other. Alice and Lily had opted to go to their classes.
"Mary?" Marlene called quietly. "Are you awake?"
"Yes, I am." Mary sat up in her bed and turned to face her friend.
"Do you want to work on our charms homework?" Marlene asked.
Mary looked at Marlene carefully. "Marlene… we finished the assignment yesterday. You, me, and Remus went to the library."
Marlene was unable to hide the look of confusion. "We did?"
"Yes. Are you feeling alright?" Mary asked, concern etched on her features.
"I had a terrible headache earlier, but I feel find now…" Marlene trailed off. "When did we go to the library?"
"After lunch." Mary answered.
"And Remus was there?" Marlene asked. "We've barely talked in days and somehow, we all decided to go do our homework together?"
"Well it was an obvious ploy on Remus' part." Mary laughed. "But I hate how awkward its been between us. It was actually a very pleasant afternoon."
"Mare. I'm serious. I don't remember it at all."
Mary studied Marlene. She looked confused and concerned. "Let's go see Madame Pomfrey. You've been having a lot of headaches lately and now you're forgetting things… I think its time we talk to someone."
Marlene allowed herself to be ushered out of the dorm room and to the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey examined Marlene, casting several different spells around her head. She hemmed and tutted every so often, which made Mary and Marlene extremely nervous.
"I am no expert on neurology magic, Miss McKinnon." Madame Pomfrey began. "It's a tricky branch of wizarding medicine and often an inexact branch. I am going to ask you a series of questions to help me determine the seriousness of your condition. It is imperative that you answer the questions honestly. Everything we discuss here is so that I can accurately assess your health. I am not a Professor, nor do I have the ability to hand out punishment. Now, Miss McDonald, I think you should wait outside."
Marlene and Mary glanced at each other.
"It's okay, Madame Pomfrey. Mary can stay." Madame Pomfrey raised her eyebrows but didn't say anything to the contrary.
"We'll start off with the easy questions." Madame Pomfrey smiled at Marlene reassuringly. "When did the loss of memory begin?"
"It started with little things." Marlene admitted. "Normal things, even. I misplaced my hairbrush, except not really. I really had brushed my hair and put my hairbrush away and forgotten that I had done it. I forgot about an assignment – highly unusual for me – and had to turn it in late. This is out of character for me, but not, strictly speaking, worrisome. Today, however, I appear to have lost a whole afternoon. Apparently,I studied with a group of classmates yesterday for several hours. I have absolutely no recollection of the entire afternoon."
Madame Pomfrey was taking notes. She scribbled something Marlene couldn't read. It took her a moment to realize that was because it was in French. Marlene made a face, which Pomfrey immediately noticed.
"What is it?"
"I am fluent in French. My father insisted we be fluent in at least three different languages. I had private tutors. I studied French and Spanish until I was 14. I realize that I haven't used my French skills in the last few years, but… I can't read what you've written."
Marlene looked horrified, as realization sunk in. She had forgotten a whole language. How had that happened?
"How proficient in French were you?" Pomfrey inquired.
"I spent two weeks in France this summer. I barely spoke a word of English while I was there. I am fluent."
"Qu'est-ce que je dis en ce moment?" Madame Pomfrey asked.
"Oui, je comprends. Pourquoi ne puis-je pas lire vos notes?" Marlene responded. Her French was impeccable. Madame Promfrey's eyebrow furrowed.
"I don't know, Marlene." Madame Pomfrey said quietly, but Marlene could tell she was shaken.
"What else have I forgotten?" Marlene asked, clearly close to tears. Mary grabbed her hand, squeezing it. Despite everything, Marlene felt herself relax, if only slightly. Mary's presence was always comforting, and holding her hand made Marlene feel like she didn't have to face this alone.
"Let's continue with the questions, Marlene. Have you had any other reoccurring symptoms such as headaches, nausea, vomiting, stomach pain, etc.?"
Marlene blanched. "I have headaches frequently. Headaches that don't go away for days."
"Anything else?"
"I get nauseas a lot, but I thought that it had to do with my diet. Maybe I'm allegoric to something…"
"Any family history of memory loss or other memory concerns?"
"No." Marlene hesitated. "That I know of. My parents passed away a few years ago."
Madame Promfrey nodded, a sincere look of sympathy crossing her face before she continued. "Have you been taking any potions on a regular basis either prescribed by a Healer or on your own accord."
"She's not abusing potions!" Mary demanded hotly. Mary looked at Marlene, waiting for her friend to indignantly agree with her. However, Marlene's face was unreadable.
"I've been taking potions for my headaches," Marlene said slowly, her face still unreadable.
"Which potions?" Madame Pomfrey asked.
"Pepper up potions, mostly."
"And where are you getting these potions from, Miss McKinnon? Because I know they aren't from me."
Marlene paused for a second. "I've had a friend make them for me. A friend who excels at potions."
"She means Lily Evans." Mary supplied, looking worriedly at her friend. That wasn't the friend that Marlene had meant, but she didn't contradict Mary. She hopped Lily wouldn't get in trouble.
"Are you certain she is brewing the potion correctly?" Madame Pomfrey asked.
"Absolutely. She's brilliant at potions. Slughorn adores her." Marlene answered.
"Be that as it may, you should come to me the next time you have a headache, understood?" Madame Pomfrey demanded. Marlene nodded. "Any other potions."
"No." Marlene answered evenly. This was, of course, a lie. She was taking the Posterum potion on a weekly basis. The potion caused headaches; she already knew that. It also made her nauseas. Could it also be causing her memory loss?
Marlene had known coming to the hospital wing was a mistake, but she had let Mary drag her anyways. Their relationship had been so strained, and Mary was so concerned, so Marlene had allowed herself to be dragged to the hospital wing. But now she realized that she had no real way of answering these questions. Montgomary had stressed the importance of her being a secret remaining a secret. There would be too much at risk if other people knew.
Marlene had told Remus in a moment of weakness, but she was positive he wouldn't tell. He was a good, loyal friend, and she had made him swear his secrecy. Besides Remus and Montgomary absolutely no one knew that Marlene was a seerer. Expect Dumbledore, Marlene remembered, as he had approved her private lessons when they'd begun.
Montgomary wouldn't knowingly give her a potion that had memory loss as a potential side effect, right? He made her chart her symptoms, such as when the headaches started, how long they lasted, the severity, etc. He told her headaches were a common side effect, but that it could be easily managed and was nothing to worry about. It was certainly uncomfortable, but they were on the brink of discovering the future. Marlene thought it was worth the discomfort. He never mentioned any other side effects, however. She made a mental note to ask Montgomary about it the next she saw him.
Promfrey tutted, clearly indicating that she didn't believe Marlene. "Have you been taking any other substances, such as Manticore Hash, Euphoria Elixir, Alihotsy, Giggle Water, Billywig Stings…?"
"No." Marlene answered sharply. She wasn't taking substances. The Posterum potion wasn't for fun and she wasn't taking it because she craved it. She hated the way it made her feel. But she was doing something proactive, making a difference. She was going to help save the wizarding world. Even as she thought it, she thought of how naïve and childish that sounded. But she was making difference. She was.
Promfrey tutted again. "This is a safe space, Miss McKinnon. I need you to answer honestly."
"I am!" Marlene insisted.
"Then how do you explain your memory loss? Your brain scans appear normal and you claim to not be on any substance or potion which can cause memory loss." Pomfrey looked at Marlene sternly.
"I don't know!"
"Hmm.." Pomfrey said. "I'll need you to check in on a weekly basis. If you discover you've forgotten something, you will need to report it to me immediately. If you have a headache, you will need to come straight to the hospital wing. Is that clear?"
"Yes, Madame." Marlene said.
"I am going to send my notes to a friend who has more experience in neurology healing as well as speak to Dumbledore about having you take a few substance and potions tests."
"I told you, I'm taking any potions or substances!" Marlene snapped indigently.
"Then you should have no problem taking the tests." Pomfrey said sharply. "If we rule out a substance, then we can start to determine the problem."
Marlene huffed.
Alice sat outside the makeshift office. She was on the fifth floor, across the hall from the Muggle Studies classroom. She was tapping her foot impatiently.
"Ally! Stop that! You are driving me crazy." Lily said. They had come straight from Charms. Alice had dragged Lily with her because she had a free period.
"Well I'm sick of waiting. My appointment was fifteen minutes ago." Alice grumbled. "I'm going to leave soon, to be completely frank."
Both girls knew this was a lie. They were sitting outside of the makeshift Auror office, and Alice was waiting to meet with the Auror Longbottom. Lily constantly teased Alice, telling her that Longbottom was quite handsome. Alice rolled her eyes.
It had been over two months since her attack. Alice had talked to several Aurors in the two months, though nothing particularly special had come about from those meetings. Alice couldn't remember, a fact which the Aurors felt that they could circumvent somehow.
"Miss Fawley?" Auror Longbottom called. "I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. Please come in."
Alice stood up and walked into the office. "You'll wait for me?" Alice asked Lily.
"Yes, Al. Then we can work on our Charms homework." Lily smiled reassuringly.
Professor Longbottom shut the door after Alice and gestured for her to take a seat. The office was not cramped, as one might think from its outside appearance. It had, she suspected, been modified magically. The chairs where comfy and the room smelled like freshly brewed tea.
"Tea, Miss Fawley?" The Auror offered.
"Yes, please. And it's Alice."
The Auror smiled. "Alright Alice. I don't think we've been formally introduced. I am Frank Longbottom. I believe our grandmothers used to play Gobstones together before they passed. My grandmother spoke very highly of you, which I think was due to your grandmother."
Alice smiled politely. "And my grandmere spoke very highly of you as well. She told me all about your Auror training. Said your grandmother was so proud to have such an accomplished young man in the family."
Longbottom chuckled. "I believe they thought they were being subtle."
Alice genuinely laughed. "My grandmere did not have a subtle bone in her body, though it was kind of you to suggest that she did. I've always wanted to be an Auror – an unacceptable career choice for a Fawley lady – so she made it her personal mission to make me well acquainted with all of the Auror prospects, which included you, although, she never had the opportunity to formally introduce us. She thought that if she married me off to an Auror then I wouldn't have to become one." Alice's voice was dry.
"I'd imagine you did not have the same opinion?" Longbottom asked.
"Merlin, no. It made me want to become an Auror even more."
Longbottom laughed. "Well, if its any consolation, I've reviewed your marks, as well as spoken with several of your professors, and it appears that you are, indeed, well on your way to being an AIT."
"That is kind of you." Alice answered, peering at Longbottom.
A moment of silence passed between the two. When it became clear the Longbottom was not going to be the first to speak, Alice squared her shoulders. "I, like my grandmere, do not have a subtle bone in my body, either. Why have you called this meeting, Mr. Longbottom? I've spoken with Moody and a several of your colleagues on what I remember – which is nothing. I've submitted my memories for observance. I am waiting on word from Professor Dumbledore on whether or not he will be able to break the memory block in my head… I do not mean to be rude, but I simply do not understand what this meeting could be about."
"There's no need to call me Mr. Longbottom. Frank will suffice." Frank began. "You've been honest with me, so I will be honest with you. My superiors believe you will speak to me before you speak to them because our families are acquainted and because I am closer to your age."
Alice blinked. "Speak to you about what?"
"The attacks. They started last year, correct?" Frank's voice had changed tones. It was no longer light and friendly. It was firm and demanding.
"Yes. Danny Listben was the first to be attacked." Alice confirmed. "I believe it was October."
"Is there anyone you suspect in particular?" Frank asked.
"That depends on what you are asking, Mr. Longbottom." Alice said coolly.
"Frank." Frank reminded Alice in an unaffected tone. "Please elaborate what you mean."
"Well, are you asking if I have proof of any misconduct or are you asking if there are individuals I suspect based on years of acquaintance? If the former was your intended questions, then no, I have no proof of any misconduct. I may have had evidence two months ago, but unfortunately, my memory has been altered and I have no recollection. If the latter, you pose a dangerous question. You should know Mr. – I mean, Frank – that accusations, especially ones of this caliber without a shred of proof, can have deadly repercussions."
"Somehow, Alice," Frank was grinning. "I don't think you are afraid of those consequences."
"No, I'm not, but perhaps I'm assessing your character."
Frank cocked an eyebrow. "Assessing my character? Here, I thought I was supposed to be assessing yours?"
"Oh? And what are your conclusions?" Alice said, keeping her tone light so as not to come off as harsh. Alice knew she was flirting, and she knew it was reckless. He was an Auror and she wanted to be an Auror. She did not want to make an impression of being a flirt, but she found her conversation with Frank exciting. Plus, he was the first bloke who didn't look at her with pity.
"You're clearly an intelligent young witch." Frank said. Internally, Alice sighed. He mentioned young, which she supposed she was, but clearly, he was not interested. "But we are getting away from the question. Is there someone you suspect?"
"There are several someones, if you'd like my honest opinion. Dorian Avery, Elijah Mulciber, Evan Rosier, Regulus Black, Tracy Burke, Alexene Travers, Amycus Carrow, Tobias Bulstrode, Brock Yaxley, Marcela Parkinson, and…" Alice trailed off, hesitating, before making a split decision. "And Severus Snape."
"So, you're accusing the entire Slytherin sixth and seventh years?" Frank asked.
"Not the entirety. Iris Greengrass isn't the type. Nor Wylma Yaxely, though mostly because she lacks nerve. The younger Wilkes may be the type – he hangs around Regulus Black – but he seems too naïve."
"Alice…" Frank began, but Alice cut him off.
"You know just as well as I do that their parents are Death Eaters." Alice said firmly.
"Well, no, I don't. A few are confirmed Death Eaters. Some are suspected. Most are just known purists. That doesn't mean they are attacking people."
"I've gone to school with them for six years. You asked whom I suspected." Alice scoffed.
"Fair enough." Frank acknowledged. "Did any of those individuals have any altercations with Derek Button?"
"What?" Alice asked, taken aback. Not a single Auror had asked any questions about Derek.
"It's highly suspicious that Derek Button, who you were publicly dating, was murdered and then you are attacked only months later."
"Derek was a muggleborn. I'm sure they weren't nice to him, but I don't know about any specific altercations." Alice answered quietly.
"You dated for," Frank consulted his notes, "over three months. How can you not know?"
Alice looked down at her hands. She took a deep breath before speaking. Her voice was shaky, but she could not control it. "Derek and I begun dating at the end of term, the end of May. It was never a serious relationship. He was cute and made me laugh. I spent most of the summer ignoring my responsibilities with him. It was fun, but we didn't talk about anything serious."
Frank looked like he wanted to say something, but he clearly thought better of it.
"Derek was a good, kind person. He was the class clown, always quick with a joke and very rarely serious… He did not deserve to die." Alice looked at Frank, swallowing before continuing. She'd never actually admitted this in an official capacity. It just seemed too cold to say out loud, too awful to admit.
"But on the day that he was murdered, I was going to break up with him. He didn't show, and I was so angry." Her voice broke. "I took him to several ministry parties. It was a statement, to my purist family members. I paraded him around as my muggleborn boyfriend, an act of rebellion against their traditional views. I didn't think, didn't know that he could be killed because of it."
Alice stopped for a minute, taking a few deep breaths. "I led him – and by extension his family – into extreme peril for my own selfish purposes. I can't tell you Derek's favorite color or what he wanted to do with his life. I couldn't tell you what his favorite class was or his favorite flavor of ice cream. I can't confirm or deny your theories, but I don't agree with them. The Death Eaters murdered Derek and his family and sent a very clear message."
Alice's voice was hollow, "I don't think I was a target. If anything, my relatives, who are without a doubt in my mind Death Eaters, protected me from any harm. I am young and rebellious, so they believe they can change my views. Alex Cruz, may he rest in peace, was tortured and his trauma led to his death. Mary and I had no signs of Dark Magic. I think we interrupted whoever was attacking Cruz."
"Very astute observations, Alice." Frank said softly. "I am sorry for your loss. I know this must be a very difficult time for you, and I am sorry to make you relive it. I want to assure you that Derek's death was not your fault. Derek Button was murdered by despicable, evil people. You have no control over their actions. Someone's birth should not stop you from being with anyone you'd like, no matter how serious. You should never blame yourself but blame the people responsible."
Alice looked up at Frank with wide eyes. He wasn't the first to say this, but it was the first time she believed it. She still felt responsible, but his words had eased her mind, if only slightly.
"And I promise you, Alice, that we will catch the individuals who are responsible. And in four years, when you've completed your Auror training, you and I will work together and stop these Death Eaters."
Alice smiled weakly at him. He smiled back kindly, and Alice, though begrudgingly, noticed that Lily was right: Frank was extremely good looking. He was also intelligent and kind. Not that Alice was going to admit that to Lily.
"Hi," Lily said, taking a seat next to Marlene. Three heads turned in Lily's direction: Marlene, Mary, and Alice.
"Of course," Alice said, nudging Mary. They were seated across from Marlene and Lily. Mary didn't say anything, but she did offer a weak smile in Lily's direction.
"What were you all talking about?" Lily asked, pleasantly, encouraged by Mary's smile.
"We are talking about going to Alex's memorial," Marlene said. "Would you like to go with us?"
Lily turned in Mary's direction, "If that's okay with everyone?"
"Yes," Mary said after several beats. "I think we'd all like that." Mary and Lily exchanged a look. Though neither girl looked happy, precisely, they both felt better, if only slightly.
Lily smiled sadly at the three girls in front of her. "Are you okay?" She asked, addressing Mary and Alice.
"No." Alice answered for both girls. "It may never be okay every again. I just wish we could remember something, anything."
"I'm so sorry." Lily said softly, wishing there was more that she could say.
"Lily," Mary began, though it was clear that she didn't actually have the words to articulate her thoughts. There was a long pause.
"Its okay, Mary." Lily said. "We don't have to talk about it." Because suddenly their petty fighting didn't mean anything anymore. Their lives were at risk, and it all just seemed incredibly stupid.
The rest of the meal passed in much of the same tone. Not a single one of the girls knew what to say. They hadn't been close with Alex, but they each felt his loss in a separate way. Alice peered at the Ravenclaw table, but Betsy Hanson (Alex's girlfriend) was not present. Alice's heart broke for Betsy and the unfairness of it all. She wished, with all her heart, to take away all of Betsy's pain. She knew it'd do no good, but its all she had to offer.
Lily felt the pain of the loss just as deeply as she felt the loss of Derek Button and Blake Henderson. She glanced down the Gryffindor table, glancing at Flora. Lily felt her heart sink. Flora looked the same; she looked sad, but hopeful. She still believed Derek was coming back. It had been three months since he'd gone missing. Three months. And now another male muggleborn had been killed. The dread that filled Lily consumed her. Her eyes searched the Gryffindor table for James, seeking some solace in his kind expressions, before she remembered he wasn't there.
Marlene read the paper with a sense of dread. It read very similar to the article that horrid Skeeter woman had written about her parent's death. It had all of the malice, though not towards the right people. The article attacked Dumbledore and Hogwarts, not the despicable people and their followers who were really responsible. Cruz's death felt like a blow to her heart. How could horrible things keep happening to innocent people?
Mary, for the first time in her life, felt true hatred. She had clung to her anger towards Lily because it allowed her to express her feelings. Now, she realized the true object of her anger: the purists and Death Eaters responsible. She could have died that night, alongside Alice and Alex. Whoever their attacker was had spared her. It baffled her but left her feeling so empty. She was angry, but strangely that anger dulled in comparison of death and the unknown. It was a curious feeling, of hatred, anger, and emptiness.
When the girls had finished their lunch and began their trek back to the Gryffindor common room. None of the girls felt up to their afternoon classes. McGonagall had told all of the Gryffindors that they were able to take the day off, if they felt the need. Mary and Marlene had skipped classes, but Alice and Lily had attended their morning classes. The whispers and comments had been draining during their morning classes, and Lily and Alice had no intention of attending their afternoon classes.
The girls were heading up the stairs and heading back to the Gryffindor Tower when Severus Snape stopped them. He had a wild, desperate look in his eyes.
"Lily, we need to talk." His voice was desperate, and he looked incredibly unwell. He looked as if he hadn't slept in a week. He had bags under his eyes, making his shrunken eyes appear to be even more shrunken. This gave him a very sickly, sunken look.
"No, we don't." Lily said coolly, not even bothering to spare him a glance. She thought about their conversation, nearly a month ago. He knew about the attacks, he'd all but admitted it. He'd accused her of having feelings for James after she accused him of being complicit in the attacks, as if the two were comparable.
She thought for a moment that their friendship could be fixed, that they could be mended. She thought, perhaps, being recruited was enough to scare Severus to the right side, but he'd made it clear: he would only change sides for a price, and she was the price. She thought about what Mary had said, how she'd given Snape just enough to keep him from fully accepting his friends' beliefs, but as soon as it got intense, she took the first out available.
Mary knew Lily incredibly well, plus she was known for being quite perceptive. She had never given Mary's words much thought, until her little chat with Severus. She supposed Mary was right if you broke everything down to the simplest of terms.
"Alex Cruz is dead, Severus." Lily's voice shook. "If you can look me in the eye and tell me that you were in no way involved, that you didn't know it was going to happen, that you weren't a part of it, then we can talk."
There was a long pause. Lily's heart broke for what felt like the hundredth time that day. "Just stop, Severus."
"Stop what?" Severus mumbled, though it was clear he knew the answer.
"Stop pretending." Lily said, though her voice wasn't unkind. "We were friends once, and that's how I'll chose to remember you: the boy who told me I was a witch, my friend. But we cannot dwell on the past and pretend our decisions don't define us. Its not just that we've chosen different paths, we've chosen to be different people. We'll never fit together again."
"Lily," Severus sputtered, but she didn't let him finish.
"No. I said stop. Stop talking to me, stop pretending like things can be different. Just bloody stop. Its pathetic and exhausting, and I can't do it anymore. We're over. We'll never be on the same side again. Do whatever you need to come to terms with it but leave me alone."
Lily turned and walked away. Alice, Marlene, and Mary followed, Mary being the last, saving a hateful smirk for Severus.
James had been gone for three days, and already Lily was marveling and how much she missed him. She felt ridiculous event thinking it because a year ago she would have been ecstatic to know James Potter was gone for two weeks.
Now she realized she missed the little things. He liked to pass her notes during Charms when he knew she was bored - Lily had already accomplished the entirety of the sixth year Charms curriculum. He'd drawn pictures and enchanted them in comical ways. In Transfiguration, he took really detailed notes and often included his own thoughts and suggestions. They were really helpful. In potions, he cracked jokes and challenged her to complete their potions in different ways: with her eyes closed, only looking at the recipe once, only using her wand and not her hands, etc. She didn't always listen to James, but it was still incredibly entertaining. In Defense, one of the few classes they did not sit next to each other, he sent her notes which flew through the air and mocked "Professor Nott" and in her ineffective, horrendous, and horrid teaching methods.
In Charms, Alice had sat next to her, instead of James. Alice was writing her notes, but they didn't make her laugh. She wanted to know if Lily understood the material and if she could explain it to her. Lily had said yes, of course, but she was definitely upset about it.
The one good thing, however, about James being gone, is that she had access to the marauders' map. James had been reluctant to find the muggleborn attacker using the map. Remus and Peter, were no match for Lily's power of persuasion.
So that's why, on the first Saturday night of James and Sirius' "family leave" Lily was sprawled out on James' bed with her head buried in the map.
"I could probably create a charm to track the muggleborns," Lily mused.
Remus raised an eyebrow; Peter looked panicky.
"We probably shouldn't mess with the integrity of the map. Casting charms and altering its magical composition may affect the map's ability to perform its intended purpose." Peter said quickly.
"I'm very skilled in Charms, Pete." Lily reminded him. "I'd just need to know what spells were cast to create the map, and we could easily figure out a course of action which will protect the integrity of the map."
"Maybe you should talk to James about this." Remus said, softly.
"I have to get James' approval?" Lily demanded.
"Well, yes." Peter said reasonably. "The marauders are a democracy. So, you need 3 of us to agree to any changes."
"Has anyone ever told you that you aren't like normal sixteen-year-old boys?" Lily scoffed.
"We're normal." Peter sniffed.
"Eh. I'd say I'm pretty abnormal." Remus laughed at the indignant look on Peter's face.
"Look, this is for a good cause, I'm sure James won't be mad…" Lily said. "He'd let me, if I asked."
"And you can try that approach," Remus said firmly. "When James and Sirius return. But we can't alter the map without talking to Sirius and James."
"I'd recommend being in James' bed when you ask him," Peter smirked. "Once he recovers from the shock - Remus, I'll bet you 5 knuts he'll faint - he'll give you whatever you ask for."
"5 knuts? Hmm. I'll take it, but only because I doubt Lily will be in his bed when she asks."
"Lily is right here." Lily reminded them. "And I'm not in his bed."
That really wasn't really true. The bed was made, but she had propped his pillows against his headboard and was laying down quite comfortably with her legs crossed.
"Uh, Lil's…" Peter mumbled. "You most definitely are."
"I mean, obviously I'm on his bed." Lily said, rolling her eyes. "However, I have to reject your statement on principle, because 14-year-old Lily would die if she heard the words 'Lily is in James Potter's bed.'"
"You're not 14, Lil." Remus reminded her. "Though, it really wasn't a bad suggestion, even though I know you wouldn't do it."
"I don't know," Peter countered. "You did wear the green top to Quidditch tryouts. And Marlene was, on that same day, promoted to first string chaser."
Lily turned red, but her voice was even. "Are you suggesting that I used my feminine wiles to seduce James into making Marlene a first-string player? Because Marlene earned that spot."
"She did." Remus agreed indignantly. "She's really improved."
"Oh, Marlene earned her spot." Peter snorted. "I'm just reminding Lily, that James almost fell off his broom when she took off her cloak."
"I happen to like that shirt. James had nothing to do with me wearing it."
"Perhaps, what Peter is really suggesting, is that you wear that green shirt when asking James if you can alter the map. It won't convince Sirius, but you only need 3 of us to agree." Remus smirked.
"You're both incorrigible. It isn't like that." Lily said, her voice defiant.
"Like that?" Peter asked. "Lily you can't seriously mean that you don't know how-" Lily threw up her hands, effectively stopping Peter's speech.
"Peter. James and I are friends. What I meant is, that we aren't the sort of friends who manipulate each other."
"Well that's interesting," Peter countered. "Considering you befriended him solely to get back at Snape."
Lily glared at him. "But he knew the whole time!"
"Yes," Remus said. "You could argue that you were the one manipulated, seeing as he went from being a ploy to get back at Snape to him being your best friend." Lily stopped for a moment. She'd never really thought of it that way. She had thought that she was the one manipulating her, not the other way around.
"He's not my best friend!" Lily laughed.
"Then who is?" Peter asked.
Lily stopped for a second. Last year, the answer would have been unquestionably Severus. Marlene and Alice were her best friends, but then so was James.
"Marlene. Alice. Mary, even though we've been fighting. You two. James. Sirius." Lily smiled. "I don't have one best friend."
There was a pause. Peter clearly wanted to say more but didn't. Peter looked up, "Okay no more talking about James."
"Yes, let's talk about Remus' crush on Marly." Lily smirked at Remus.
"I do not have a crush on Marly…" The trio continued to joke, but it felt false to all of them. Keeping some semblance of normal, however, felt necessary.
Marlene blinked, taking in her surroundings. She was definitely in Hogwarts. She was unsure of when she was, but she was most certainly in the fifth floor corridor. There was no one around, which baffled her. Normally her visions took her to a specific event, but this was nothing noteworthy of this lonely corridor.
She had never been alone in a different time. Either she was watching an event occur or being led by her guide. She was unsure of what to do. Should she explore? Or wait for something to come to her.
"You pompous, infuriating git!" The voice carried somewhere from her left. Marlene would recognize that voice anywhere: Lily.
"You want to talk about infuriating? I walk on eggshells around you." The voices were getting closer. Marlene recognized James' voice. "Always trying to avoid upsetting you. Everything is always on your terms!"
"Always on my terms? Avoid upsetting me? You do stupid, dangerous things - things that can result in you or others losing their lives - and I'm the one with a problem?"
"Don't bring Remus into this!" James shouted. Remus? How was Remus involved, Marlene wondered.
"It's not Remus's fault! It was your idea, Potter. We both know it. You sweet talked Remus, Peter, and Sirius into it."
"I didn't want him to be alone. Is that so wrong?" James' voice had regained some of its calm. "It's stupid and reckless, but what else am I supposed to do? Let him bare this cross alone?"
"I don't know!" Lily snapped. "All I know is you almost died tonight, James. It terrified me." Her voice had lost its harshness.
James peered down at Lily, taking several steps closer, his eyes never leaving hers. "It terrifies you?"
"Yes." Her voice was barely a whisper.
"Why?" James' voice was low, and his breathing was irregular. Marlene suddenly felt very conscious of the fact that she was watching a very private moment.
"James," Lily tried to protest.
"Answer me." James said in that same, low voice. He was standing so close to her and watching her every expression.
"You know why." Lily said quietly, though she met his eyes with her own. "Because you went from being my enemy, to my best friend, to… something else in less than a year."
"Something else?" James asked, but his hand was now under Lily's chin, and the space between them was nonexistent.
"Something more." Lily said, her voice barely even a sound. James heard it, Marlene suspected, because he was kissing her seconds afterwards.
Marlene averted her eyes, feeling as though she was invading their privacy. She waited to be brought back to her time, to no avail. James and Lily were still kissing, although Marlene would classify it as full on snogging, if she was being honest.
Lily was pushed up against the wall, one hand on James' face, the other in his hair. Marlene couldn't see James' hands, though she didn't try too hard. She had turned away from the scene - Montgomery would be livid, but Marlene didn't care.
"Lily," Marlene heard James mutter. Despite the uncomfortableness of the situation, Marlene couldn't help but be jealous of the tone James used when uttering Lily's name. It held raw emotion that Marlene had never heard in refence to her.
"Potter," a new, cruel voice had entered the scene. Marlene turned around to see Lily and James spring apart.
"Mulciber," James growled back, fumbling for his wand.
"I knew you were a blood traitor," Avery cut in, rounding the corner, and joining his friend. "But you've gone to a new low."
"Are you surprised?" Mulciber asked? "He's been pining for the mudblood for years."
Marlene's attention had been on the two Slytherin boys. When she looked at Lily and James, she noticed they had their wands drawn, as well.
"Don't call her that," James shouted, before blasting Mulciber with a nonverbal hex.
Once the first spell had been cast, there was no stopping the inevitable. Avery fired next, then Lily, and after that, Marlene couldn't keep track.
Lily was faring well, casting a shield charm that protected her and James, while simultaneously firing blasting curses at both boys. James was taking the brute of the attacks, however.
"Mugglefucker." Avery taunted, loudly.
"Oh, Dorian, you give Potter too much credit. That mudblood prig wouldn't give it up to Potter."
Marlene would recount this memory many times in her life - though it would never come to pass, it haunted her to her very last breath - and she could never quite describe Lily's reaction correctly. Her face contorted in something even stronger than rage. All of her gentle features vanished. She smiled, though it was not a kind smile.
She bellowed a spell, though Marlene did not recognize it. A bright, yellow light burst through the corridor, pushing past the two boy's shield charms and striking, full force, into them. Mulciber was hit first. He was sent flyer into the air, hitting the wall with a crunch - bones had definitely been broken. Avery was hit only a millisecond afterwards. He was thrown down the stairs. He landed in a pile at the base of the stair, half a flight down.
"You can thank your friend Snape for that spell." Lily cackled, though neither boy was conscious to hear it. Neither boy moved for several seconds.
"Are they...?" Lily asked, a strange note in her voice.
"Lily," James said in a low tone. "It's over. We need to go."
And then Marlene was back in her bed. She was covered in sweat. She looked to her left, Lily was sound asleep, looking completely serene.
AN: Please review!