Disclaimer: I own nothing in regard to GWTW

Author's Notes: Thank you for all the reviews and all the people following this story. Thank you to all the people reading this story.

Ashley's words in bold are from the book.

Chapter Eleven

As Scarlett was walking back from the barn, she stopped to look at the land. She thought how much she loved Tara. She was grateful that Suellen had paid the taxes. Maybe her sister wasn't as selfish as she had always thought. Maybe her being happy had changed her outlook on life. No. She knew Suellen. She just hadn't wanted the responsibility of caring for Pa. Suellen was just as selfish and self-centered as she had been until that awful night. Scarlett was just glad Suellen had paid the taxes whatever her motivation was. Scarlett was delighted she didn't have to worry about losing Tara any more.

She saw Ashley walking toward her and knew what he was going to tell her. When she had thought about her infatuation with Ashley, she had realized that anytime she was drifting away from him he would give her just enough love and affection to draw her back in. Sadly, he had needed her as much as she had thought she had needed him.

Scarlett just jumped right in. She said, "We have to end whatever this is between us now, once and forever. This relationship has no future. I have married Rhett and I am going to commit to that relationship as you should commit to your relationship with Melly."

He said, "Scarlett, I've got to say it and I haven't any right. But I've got to say it.

"No! Don't say it!" But Ashley hadn't heard her and just kept right on talking.

Your ... Rhett Butler. Everything he touches he poisons. If he were any other man in the world, I wouldn't care so much... but Rhett Butler! Oh, yes, I know I shouldn't say this... He saved Melly and Beau's lives and I should be grateful but I wish to God it had been any other man but him! I tell you I won't be able to bear it," he went on, "seeing your fineness coarsen by him, knowing that your beauty and your charm are in the keeping of a man who ... When I think of him touching you..." Then Ashley stopped himself and said, "I apologize most humbly, Scarlett. I've been insinuating that your husband is not a gentleman and my own words have proved that I'm not one."

These were the same words he said after she went to the mills after Bonnie was born. Now she was actually hearing the hate in the words for Rhett. There was no love for her only hate for Rhett. She had put a stake in the heart of her marriage to Rhett over words of hate. Her gut clenched when she grasped that but she couldn't dwell on that now. She had to concentrate on what Ashley was saying right now. She would think about that later. She said, "Why do you hate Rhett?"

"I don't hate Captain Butler."

"Yes, you do. You said 'if it was any other man but Rhett Butler.' That sounds like hate to me or extreme dislike. Why do you not like him?"

"I would not be a gentleman if I spoke ill of a man to his wife."

"You have already done that so I guess you aren't a gentleman so there is no need for you to stop under a false pretense. You haven't been a gentleman since that day in the orchard when you kissed me and led me to believe you loved me. If you had been a gentleman you would have made it clear that nothing could ever happen between us. You would have told me that your heart, mind and body belonged to Melly but you couldn't quite do that."

"Fine! I'll tell you! He makes a mockery out of everything southerners' pride themselves on. He is coarse, brutal and ruthless. I have heard of how he mocked the cause during the war."

"You didn't believe in the cause either but unlike Rhett you took your hypocritical self off to war. Rhett tells the truth. What he hates about polite society is all the lying and hypocrisy that exist in it."

"He has no honor."

"He has honor just not honor dictated by others."

"He ruined that girl and killed her brother."

"He did ruin that girl but he didn't kill her brother that was a lie to make him look worse. I guess you would have married the girl over an accident. He didn't want to be married and he definitely didn't want to be married to a ninny." She had learned the truth about Rhett after her divorce. After her divorce people told her all sorts of things about Rhett.

Ashley was getting mad which surprised her. "You will not be received when people find out you have married him."

"So be it. Excuse me. I don't wish to continue this discussion."

"Scarlett, I love you."

Scarlett stared at him and thought, 'For twelve years I had yearned to hear those words so clearly spoken. Those words said in plain English without any qualifiers. He must know that he has lost me and is desperate to keep me. I know now that he doesn't love me. He loves my strength and my spirit but not the real me. He loves the idealized version he has of me. Just as I loved the idealized version of him.'

She said, "Then you should have married me instead of Melly but you took the safe path which is what you will always do. Charlie had more courage in his little finger than you have in your entire body. Charlie asked me to marry him with very little encouragement from me. That is what a man would do. My husband is a man of courage and brains and he will come through these hard times better than most people. When you were babbling on about a Gotterdammerung when I needed a real solution, you said, '.. and we who haven't will be winnowed out.' You have already given up and the fight to survive has just begun."

Ashley looked a little stunned but he continued, "It's not too late. You can have the marriage annulled."

Scarlett laughed. "No, I can't. And stop thinking of me and Rhett that way. That is icky that you think of us that way."

Ashley grabbed Scarlett and forced a kiss upon her. Scarlett was resisting but she didn't want to scream because she didn't want anyone else to know that Ashley was kissing her. Then she remembered what her Pa had told her to do if any man got too forward with her. Ashley had stepped into her. He was calling her name and kissing her neck. Scarlett raised her knee as hard as she could and made impact with Ashley's crown jewels. Ashley crumbled in a mass of pain and misery. Scarlett straighten her clothes and looked at Ashley's face. She thought, "That must really hurt. Ashley's face is contorted with agony. Thanks Pa."

She turned and walked to the house without giving Ashley another thought.

In his agony Ashley watched her walk to the house without a backwards glance. He knew he had lost her forever. He did wonder where she had learned that a knee to a man's groin could so disable him. Probably Butler. The man had no propriety.

Scarlett had a mesmerizing effect on a man. Ashley did love Scarlett but he had not married her because she would never be a proper lady. She was too spirited for that. Ironically it was that spirit that Ashley loved about her most. It was going to be hard to give her up. It looked like he didn't have any choice in the matter she had given him up. It was bad enough she had given him up but for Rhett Butler was almost too much to tolerate. Scarlett had been correct he hated Rhett Butler. He hated Rhett Butler because Melanie thought he was so wonderful, such a gentleman, so resourceful and so kind. He hated Rhett Butler because whenever Scarlett would speak of him there was something in her voice that made Ashley know she cared for Butler more than she knew. Ashley guessed that Scarlett had realized her feelings for Butler. Scarlett had become another one of his adoring devotees which made him hate Rhett Butler even more.

Ashley laid on the ground for a while until he thought he could walk without wincing. He didn't want anyone to find him lying on the ground. They would ask to many questions. He went back into the house to help move the furniture back to its rightful positions.

Everyone spent the rest of the day putting everything back where it belonged.

Later that afternoon when she saw Wade, Scarlett had thought about her first husband and hoped Wade grew up to be as good a man as his father had been. When Scarlett had been going over her life she had thought about Charles Hamilton. She had thought about him as an adult not as a spiteful, spoiled belle. She had decided that Charles Hamilton was not weak or a milquetoast. He was a young man in love. He was a young man who was awkward and shy around girls. He had always treated her with awe and respect because that was the way he believed good men should treat their wives. She knew he had courage for he had asked her to marry him without very much encouragement. To be truthful without any encouragement from her. He had gone after what he had wanted. He was a man of courage and brains.

Ashley the man she had always thought was so perfect had been the milquetoast. He was a man who was a shillyshallier. He couldn't make up his mind on anything. He had no backboned and maybe no male parts anymore and she giggled. She wished she could tell Rhett what she had done but Rhett would go insane at knowing that Ashley had put his hands on her much less his lips. No. She couldn't tell anyone. The only people she would be comfortable telling would be Rhett or Melly and she couldn't tell either one of them.

At four, Scarlett, Wade, Frank, Suellen, Ashley, Melly and Beau got in the carriage to go back to Atlanta. It was a tight fit and Ashley had chosen to ride up top with Uncle Peter while Frank whined about not being able to because it would make him sick. Scarlett almost laughed because it was true. Frank was susceptible to getting sick because he was a hypochondriac. At this time in her life before she would not have known what that word meant and now, she was using it in her thoughts. That did make her laugh. When Frank called Suellen Sugar and Suellen smiled Scarlett was happy they were married.

Scarlett and Melly talked the entire trip to Atlanta about Aunt PittyPat's house, Aunt PittyPat, Rhett, and the dowagers. Melanie Wilkes had a plan on how to keep Scarlett received even after her marriage to that Scallawag Rhett Butler. Scarlett listened to the plan and thought, 'It's the same plan as when she got caught at the mills with Ashley's arm around her.' Scarlett had said to Melly, "I am going to act like a girl hopelessly in love with my husband."

Melly said, "It won't be much of an act you have been in love with Captain Butler for a long time. I think since he brought you that green hat."

Scarlett smiled and said, "I have. I just didn't know it."

Melanie said, "You have done a few things that weren't proper during the war but they were always with Captain Butler so that will work to your advantage. You can just say you knew it was wrong but Captain Butler can be so persuasive." The ladies giggled with that statement. Melly's plan had a lot more chance of working this time because she had not offended and alienated everyone in polite society. Rhett had.

When they got to Atlanta there was some rearranging of bedrooms. Scarlett gave Frank and Suellen the bedroom she had been using. Melanie and Ashley took back Melly's old bedroom. Scarlett and Wade moved down the hall to the guest bedroom. Aunt PittyPat stayed where she was. The guest bedroom was small but she and Wade weren't going to be staying at the house very much longer.