Prompt number: 10. "all I ever wanted"

Fandom: Spidey/Avengers

Rating: G [General Audiences]

Warnings: Mentions of Major Character death, sort of?

Peter tossed the large bag on his bed -no, not his bed- before turning towards his closet and grabbing clothes to put inside. Thoughts ran wild through his head while emotions clogged up his throat. He'd been here too long and if he didn't get out now, he wasn't sure what would happen. He couldn't do this anymore.

The tiniest of creaks drew his attention and he swung around to face the doorway, surprised to find none other than Bucky Barnes staring back at him. "Bucky?"

"Hey Peter, I wanted to talk to you..." His gaze was drawn to the bag and the clothes thrown in it haphazardly. "Are you going somewhere?"

Peter hesitated in answering right away. What should he say? How would Bucky take it? How would the others take it? "I...I was just..." Taking a deep breath, Peter steeled himself and turned around to continue his packing. "Yes, I'm leaving."

He heard the footsteps as Bucky no doubt stepped into the room. "What? But why?"

"I'm sorry." It was the only thing he could think of to tell him, but it wasn't enough. Bucky stepped up beside him, grabbing his arm to stop his almost feverish packing. Peter tore his arm out of his grasp, stumbling back at his own excessive use of force in the movement. "Don't! Don't stop me."

Bucky raised his hands in surrender though he didn't back away. "What happened, Peter? Why do you suddenly want to leave? You have so much to stay for."

The words unexpectedly tore into him, forcing his emotions into his throat. Before he knew what he was doing he was shouting in earnest, a strange grieve gripping his heart. "Don't you think I know that?! All I ever wanted is right here!"

"And you're just going to walk away from it all? Why?"

"You don't understand."

"You're right. I don't understand. So explain it to me. Why would you give all of this up?!"

"Because I have to!" The intensity in volume took them both by surprise if the wide eyes and open mouth were any indication. Peter was breathing heavily and took refuge against the wall, needing the support to ground himself.

"Why?!" Bucky spoke softly, soothingly. Like someone wanting to know, to understand but being patient enough to wait for the answer. It was more than Peter deserved and everything he needed right now. He answered in an even softer voice, hating himself for shattering what Bucky knew, what he believed, what they all believed.

"Because they aren't mine!"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not who you think I am." Peter looked up through his wildly out of order bangs, almost afraid to make eye contact and see the disgust and hatred he was sure to gain very soon.

"What are you talking about. You're Peter, aren't you?"

"Yes, but..." Frustrated, Peter pushed away form the wall and started pacing, as if the sudden blood flow would help gather his mutilated thoughts. "I'm not the Peter you've known for years. I'm..I'm not from here."

"What do you- " Bucky sat down on the bed, clearly not going anywhere until he had the whole story. He seemed almost confused as he asked his next question, not understanding where Peter was taking him."Where are you from then?"

"Another world, another...universe, I guess."

"That does explain a few things." And that was not what Peter had expected. Blatant believe, not a shred of opposition to this declaration? So confused with it all, he blurted out apologies before he could stop himself.

"I'm sorry, this is all my fault. I shouldn't have gone along with it, but I...I...-"

"You didn't want to be alone, even for just a moment. You wanted a moment to just be." And again Bucky stopped him so easily with but a few words. Of all the Avengers, he'd not expected Bucky to be so understanding. Though thinking on it more, perhaps having been through his own traumatic experiences, he was the perfect candidate to understand him.

"Yeah, something like that."

Bucky stood up and approached him then, his voice and expression so earnest it almost threw Peter off his game. "Even so, you don't have to go. You could stay."

"I can't. Not only for me, but...it wouldn't be fair to your Peter. For all you know he's still out there and while I'm here pretending to be him, he could be hurt or dying and none of you are looking for him because you think I'm him." He moved past Bucky to stand at his bag once more, staring down at it forlornly. In truth, he didn't want to leave. "I hope that made any sort of sense to you."

"It did, strangely enough. And you're wrong."

"Which part?"

"About not looking for Peter. There's nothing to look for, honestly." That got Peter's attention and he turned around to face Bucky once more, saw the sadness -the grieve - in his eyes.

"You said he was missing, so that implies he's out there, right?"

"To them he's missing, but I...I found him, a few weeks ago."

"What?! Then why-"

"Because he's dead." That stopped him cold. For a moment neither said anything and Peter held himself as a strange coldness washed over him. This world's Peter was dead. He was dead, in this world. The Peter he could have been, would have been had his own world progressed differently. But he still had questions.

"If you knew, then why did you not say anything? Why the charade? You knew I wasn't the Peter from this world!"

Bucky visibly deflated, all his energy leaving him. He answered in a tired voice. "At first I thought, I hoped I'd been wrong. That it hadn't been Peter and that you actually did come back to us. But I figured out fairly quickly that you were different, and not as they believed from amnesia. You remembered things so selectively, it didn't add up." He rubbed a hand down his face before continuing in an even more subdued voice. "I went back to check the remains. I never tested them because it seemed obvious, but I needed to know for sure, now. And it was him."

"And you haven't told them...?"

"How could I?! It would break them, it broke me! It would break Steve! I'm supposed to protect him, he's my best friend. How can I tell him, his son is dead?!"

"Bucky, you have to tell them."

"No, I don't think I do. You've got nothing to go back to, Peter." Bucky held him almost gently by the arms, eyes looking into his imploringly.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Your world is ashes, literally. Almost everyone you love is gone. But they are also right here. You could stay."

"And what? Be the Peter of this world?! Pretend to be someone I'm not?!" He tried to push Bucky away, but he wouldn't let go.

"In a way you are our Peter. You had the same thing. This family, this life. The only difference is that in your universe the world died and in this one, Peter died."

"And that makes it right?"

"No, but it might make things better. Your world is gone. From what you told me, the few people still alive won't be for long and then what? You're going to wander the earth alone, until you die yourself?" He finally managed to dislodge himself, turning away from his pleading gaze lest he caved and gave in. As it were, it wouldn't take all that much to make him stay. Bucky was right. What was there left for him? A desolate world and no family, no friends, nothing...

"There's nothing wrong with wanting a second chance. You could come home, Peter. It's your choice."

fin