Edward Cullen

I walked into Renesmee's room quietly. It was 5pm in the evening and I had just popped off to the bathroom as she was in her bouncer. She normally dropped off within the hour, but was wide-eyed and trying to master a smile. I sat crossed-legged opposite her and gave the bouncer one more little flick to get it bouncing.

Something seemed odd today.

She wasn't a very distracted baby as she always looked into somebody's eyes. She never stared at anything around her but people – she was focused. But today, she was staring past me to look at the wall. Her orbs were sparkling and the lines on either side of her mouth were upturned, as if the thing she was looking at was very amusing.

"What you looking at, huh?" I mused softly, turning to stare at the wall behind me. I saw nothing. I didn't expect to see anything.

But even when I turned back around to face her, she was still staring past me, making a soft noise.

I shook my head, removing her from the bouncer and into my arms. I brushed back her thick hair protectively. She was so beautiful. I tried to ignore the way her body sagged against me.

By the time it was 6pm, she still refused to take her nap, so I retrieved my aching limbs from the floor, still cradling her small frame, and made my way across the hall to Carlisle's office.

I walked in without knocking, which caused him to glare at me with annoyance. He lowered the novel he was reading though and studied Renesmee and me. "Edward? Is there anything I can help you with?"

I looked down at my baby girl before answering him. "There's something wrong with Renesmee."

He furrowed his brow – knowing fully that she was doing good and handling things just fine. He had checked her over the previous day. "Why do you think so? Did she unsettle during the night? She may just-"

I held my hand up to stop him. "She keeps staring at things and laughing. Things like walls. She never does that. Why would a wall make her laugh?"

A silence filled the room for more than 5 minutes. Carlisle moved from behind his desk and hesitantly walked towards me, his eyes scrutinizing every inch of my body. Eventually, his eyes narrowed and he sighed. "Edward…there is nothing wrong with Renesmee. She is just a baby. Now, why don't you go give her to Esme and you and I can have a little talk…"

"I'm not ill, Carlisle." I refused. He thought I was losing it. He honestly thought I was going crazy. Maybe I was.

The office door shut behind me with a click. I left without knowing his reply. I wouldn't let my family think I was crazy. I had vowed to myself I wouldn't break – for Renesmee. She needed me.

Exhausted with the thoughts on my mind, I entered Renesmee's room and settled her down in her crib. I didn't fail to notice the way her crystal clear eyes trailed back to the wall.

Once in the hallway, I ran into Emmett. He grinned at me, swiping me on the back. "Hey man! How's my monkey?"

"She's fine." I said distantly, avoiding his eyes. "She's going to sleep."

Despite my reassurance, he pushed passed me and into her room. Maybe he would get her to sleep for me.

With a sudden urge to do things I knew were wrong, I stood in the small hallway and took deep breaths, my hands balled into shaking fists. My throat went dry, my heartbeat gaining speed. Without thinking about it, my shaking legs carried me along the hall to the empty bathroom. Once inside, my numb hand slid the lock across and I collapsed onto the floor.

Since the birth, everything seemed to be crashing. I couldn't handle it. Trying to be strong when I was at my weakest was hard. No matter how much I needed to protect my beautiful baby girl.

Obliviously, I reached for the razors stored on top of the medicine cabinet. I barely processed the thought and didn't notice what I was doing until a sharp pain jolted me from my numbness. I looked at my pale wrist, the bright streak glinting in the bathroom's blunt glare. I swallowed the excess spit in my mouth as the blood bubbled up along the line and then ran around the side of my wrist.

I took a shaky breath, relaxing softly. This was my heaven. I couldn't help it.

The peacefulness didn't last long, as a knock sounded on the bathroom door moments later. "Eddie!" Emmett's booming voice called out from behind the door. "I need a pee! Nessie's sleeping!"

The razor dropped from my hands and I quickly bent down to gather it up. I rinsed it once and shoved it back in its place above the cabinet. I pulled my long sleeve down and unlocked the door, trying to compose myself.

Emmett wasn't one to notice things, but my well-being didn't seem to pass him today. His gaze lingered on my wrist for too long and I started to get uncomfortable, until he eventually looked back up to my face. "Hey, you alright?"

I nodded, unable to find my voice to verbally assure him.

"You want to talk? Like I know I'm not a parent or anything, but I can see how hard it must be…" His eyes were sincere – he truly did care.

My eyes trailed to Renesmee's door and I shook my head at Emmett. "It's not Renesmee…She's amazing."

"Are you…sick again Edward?" He asked me, his bright, innocent eyes searching for the truth.

I swallowed hard, desperate to keep all the secrets tightly hidden. I couldn't bring them into this. Not if they didn't care. "No, Emmett! I'm not sick. I was never sick in the first place." I protested a bit too bitterly.

Emmett stood there and stared at my shaking frame for a few seconds longer before he smiled sadly and headed for Carlisle's office.

Tears welled in the corner of my eyes, and I closed them briefly as I took a deep breath. Supporting my frame with my one hand against the wall, I slowly slid to the floor. The tears released themselves unwillingly and I clasped my arms around myself for comfort and protection. The rocking and sobbing started up almost immediately, and a small whine left my throat.

'Edward,' a familiar voice whispered. Something seemed heavy against my shoulder but there was nothing or no one there. There were no people to possibility say my name.

I grasped the sides of my head in disbelief, terrified I was going insane.

'Edward…I need you to save me…' the voice came again.

I took a deep breath, hesitant. "Rose..?"

'Edward…I love you…'

"I don't know if you're here…but Rose, I miss you."

'Help me…Edward.'