Hey, Dark Gothic Lolita here!
As you can see, I owe everyone an apology. If you follow me on twitter, you would know that I said I won't be able to get this chapter out on time. As much as I've written everything in advance, as soon as it comes to Thursday, I seem to find a way to change the chapter. I'm literally happy with it until it's time to upload, which is super annoying. I rewrote this whole chapter and I'm still not happy with it.
The topic towards the end of this chapter is very upsetting, as well as personal. Kind of. Not for me, more like my dad but yeah. You'll see when you get there and I'll explain it all in the ending A/N. I needed to make sure that I get everything right and that I don't butcher that part of the story, because it is serious.
But disclaimers and apologies are boring as you all know the drill by now.
ENJOY!
Liars
Chapter eleven
"Hey Juves? You ever been to Fantasia before?"
Juvia raised an eyebrow and shook her head. They were halfway through their project now. They only had two more weeks to go and then it was going to be the end of their partnership as well as audits. The Christmas season was slowly approaching and who better to spend Christmas with than with Juvia?
"Juvia can't say she has. What is it?"
Natsu couldn't help but feel excited. His plan was working. "It's a Christmas parade that we have in Magnolia. I'm dead surprised you ain't heard of it before. It's pretty big, I thought they would have had the fliers all over Oaktown. Or maybe you guys have your own version?"
He watched as she shook her head, her high ponytail shaking from side to side. "Nope, there's no Christmas parade in Oaktown, however we do have Hanami in the spring. That's Juvia's favourite time of the year."
Natsu nodded slowly, trying to remember if he had heard of the festival that she was talking about. He knew that day very well. He knew that Sakura bloomed in abundance in Oaktown and had wanted Lucy to go with him, but they had multiple exams at the same time as the viewing each year.
"I've never been to Hanami, but it sounds nice. I can usually see all the flashing rainbow lights from here. I know my parents have been a few times, but I was always busy during those times. So it's your favourite festival?"
Juvia nodded excitedly and Natsu couldn't help but grin as he watched her talk. He could listen to her all day if he wanted to and he would never get tired of her voice. Her lips moved and he could see how full and pink they were with lipgloss. He had to look up into her eyes to stop himself from kissing her.
"But Natsu was planning to take Juvia to Fantasia?"
He was brought back down to Earth when she asked him a question. "Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I? We've done so much together and I know that this will be your first proper year in Magnolia, soooo I wanted us to go."
He watched as she bit her bottom lip and he almost groaned at how inviting she looked. This was getting wild now. He had to ask her out otherwise he was going to burst. But he had the perfect scenery in his head and he was going to be damned if his plan was going to fail.
"Juvia would love to go with Natsu. It sounds like a lot of fun. But Juvia's family also go to the peony flower viewing too. Juvia knows it's not as popular as Hanami, but because Juvia's mum likes flowers so much, we usually go to as many viewings as we can. Maybe if Natsu wants, we can go to both the peony viewing and Fantasia?"
She was looking up at him through her eyelashes and Natsu couldn't but notice how long they were. He wondered if she used mascara, but he wouldn't be able to tell the difference whether she did or not. The more he looked at her, the more he was ready to confess. He hoped that nothing would interrupt them, just like it always happened in movies.
"Yeah, I would love to," he breathed out. He hoped that he didn't give himself away. "But wait, there are flowers that bloom in December?"
"Yep! Peonies bloom here in December. Secretly, that's Juvia's favourite flower. But anyway, what is Fantasia like?"
"You know Winter Wonderland here in Central Crocus?"
She nodded her head as Natsu grinned. "That has NOTHING on Fantasia! It's like winter wonderland, but waaaay cheaper than it will ever be. There are rides, stalls for games and it ends with the parade. I used to be in it when I was younger. I used to dress up as a fire dragon, of course."
Juvia's eyes shone like little lapis lazulis and Natsu found himself mesmerised. Just when he thought that she couldn't get any more beautiful, she did. Just how was that even possible?
"That sounds amazing! Way more fun than the Hanami! But Hanami is tradition in Juvia's family, so Juvia will always try her best to go."
Natsu looked up from the file. He had just realised something important here. "Wait, so you're going with your family? But you want me to come along too?"
Juvia nodded and Natsu felt touched. He could feel this comfortable warmth in his chest and it swirled around, making him feel tingly. He was pretty sure that they both hadn't been seen by a family member of hers, save for Gajeel who they told they were only friends. The fact that Juvia was willing to let her parents and her younger brother meet him, he really felt like they were going places.
"Well, Juvia can always let them know that we're friends. After all, Juvia has dragged Lyon-kun and Meredy-chan a few times. Lyon-kun came one year without Meredy-chan too, so they shouldn't be too suspicious of us."
Natsu felt himself deflate a little bit, but he was still touched that Juvia still wanted to take him to something that was special to her and her family.
"Sounds cool to me. I would love to see what you're like around your family, as well as meet them."
Juvia practically growled and that made Natsu snort in amusement as well as surprise.
"Juvia's brothers bring out the worst in Juvia. Juvia's dad is crazy and Juvia's mother is unhinged. Juvia is the only sane one in that family, though Natsu shouldn't be surprised if he doubts that when Juvia is in their presence."
He smirked devilishly at her. "That's a side of you I'm practically dying to meet. Sounds fucking exciting."
Juvia rolled her eyes at him. "Juvia knew Natsu would say that. Anyway, we've done so much work today! Juvia would say that we're ahead of schedule, just the way she likes it. Hmm, should we treat ourselves with a cigarette?"
Natsu nodded enthusiastically as they both pushed their chairs back to stand up. He knew that both Gray and Lucy were going to be in the cafeteria and that they would want to talk to him. He had pretty much ignored everyone's messages yesterday, save for Juvia's but people knew better than to try and contact him on his family days. He also knew that him and Zeref were gonna have a long talk tonight about Juvia. He was going to be upset that he wasn't told about her, despite their relationship not being real.
As soon as they got through the doors, Gray looked at his watch dramatically before turning to Lucy. "Just like clockwork, they've come down to burn away their lungs."
Natsu rolled his eyes at him and Juvia just smiled and shook her box of cigarettes. "Burning away at our lungs and breathing out like fire dragons too. Exciting."
Natsu burst out laughing at her sarcasm and Juvia handed him one as they made their way out of the door. Before the door closed, the couple watched as Natsu fished out his lighter and lit up Juvia's cigarette for her, even though the tip was now in her mouth. They couldn't believe what they had just seen, but the door then closed, blocking their view of what they were doing outside.
"Natsu, are you avoiding them?"
He shook his head, paused and then shrugged. "I dunno. To be honest, ever since they told everyone that they're a couple, and they started acting like one, it just pisses me. Not because I'm still into Luce or anything." He had to add that end part in quickly so that Juvia didn't get the wrong idea and think that he was still into her. Not at ALL.
"They just...make me sick. They seem to rub it in my face that I'm not dating anyone and all our other friends are all dating someone, so I thought instead of being the third to seventh wheel, I'll just start keeping to myself. Not like they noticed anyway. They're so stuck in their own little bubble that I guess our friendship is just strained. I always found it funny how Lyon could make time to hang out with me, but not Gray and Lucy."
Natsu had never spoken about this with anyone. He still remembered the amount of physical and emotional pain he had been in for the last year and how he had kept it to himself. There were a few times where he almost told Lyon the truth, but he didn't want the guy to worry.
He noticed Juvia looking at him with concern in her eyes. That was what he didn't want to see. He didn't want to see someone worried about him. He knew that it was only a matter of time before he had to tell her why he was really bitter with his two friends. Juvia wasn't stupid, she was more than capable of putting two and two together. Suddenly, the cigarette between his lips was like poison, something that he should have been seeing it as this whole time.
"Then obviously you came along and I like your company. They don't know that my fake girlfriend is actually you, so on top of them being weirded out that we're hanging out so much, they also think that I'm cheating on this mystery girlfriend with you."
Juvia chuckled in disbelief. "And Natsu got that all from observing them?"
He grinned cheekily. "Look, I know it's hard to believe, but yeah. I watch people and their reactions towards me. I only used to do it so it was easier to prank people, but the older I got, the more I realised it's actually a helpful skill to have in life. It also made me really good at hiding my emotions, so that people can never bother me as much. But I can tell they're disappointed in me for 'cheating' on my girlfriend because I pay too much attention to you. I also know that Lucy's upset because she thinks I replaced her with you."
He watched as Juvia's eyes widened at the revelation and then she furrowed her eyebrows. "Well, you guys haven't hung out together in so long, it must be weird for her, right?"
Natsu took a drag of his cigarette and gave her a mildly annoyed look. He couldn't remember the last time they hung out before Juvia came onto scene anyway.
"To me, she's on some pot calling kettle shit. For the first six months of hers and Gray's relationship, back when they hadn't told me they were dating, she would blow me off every Saturday, saying she's got shit to do. It eventually got to the point where I stopped asking her to do anything with me and I don't think she realised I stopped asking and she never asked me. NOW she wants me to come to places with her when I've finally found someone who enjoys doing what I do and vice versa. Nah, she doesn't get to try that shit with me.
"And Gray's just as bad. He never even tried to come up with an excuse as to why we couldn't hang. With him moving out from the suburbs and deep into the city, it made it a bit harder for us to see each other anyway. I guess that's when I started getting closer to Lyon for fuck sake. It was my fault really. I never even pieced it together that Lucy and Gray were dating each other. But shit happens, and now it's my turn to be petty I guess."
Natsu actually felt good from letting that all go. He exhaled and squashed the rest of his cigarette on the bin to stub it out. He was done now.
Juvia smiled wryly as she let the ash fall to the ground. "Well, Juvia can't say anything about that other than Natsu is a very observant person. Juvia is also sorry that they left you out of everything. You guys were basically the three musketeers, going everywhere together. That's what Juvia thought of you guys when she first met you all anyway. For the two of them to never really include you...well they're the ones missing out. Natsu is a great friend."
He smiled with a wink. His crappy negative mood was dissolving and it was all because of Juvia. "That means the world coming from you. Thanks Juves."
He watched as her cheeks practically burst into flames and he found it so funny how she always reacted like that. He never saw Lucy blush until she met Gray and that was probably a better indicator for him to know that Juvia did actually like him in some way. It increased his confidence for what he was going to do this Saturday.
"Juvia is going to go back in and buy a drink. Does Natsu want anything? NO, NOT YOUR WALLET!"
He laughed as she screamed at him and he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, much like he used to do with Lucy and even Lisanna. It's something he does with everyone so that at least no one would get the wrong idea about his feelings. If he didn't tell you how he felt about someone, then that meant it wasn't any of your business. And like he had told Juvia, Gray and Lucy were watching the two of them like a hawk. He didn't want to let it slip that he liked Juvia.
"Aww c'mon Juves, you know it was funny."
They were walking back inside now and just like he thought, Gray and Lucy's heads turned to their direction. He purposely ignored them as Juvia growled at him. She was so sexy when she was mad. He had to do this more often. He grunted when her sharp elbow dug into his side, but it made his grin widen. What could he say, he likes it rough.
"Juvia needs to buy something for you, stop wasting your money on Juvia. Now tell her what drink you want and Juvia will buy it herself."
"Okay, okay. Just get me a bottle of water or something."
"Okay!"
She practically whirled her way out of his arms as she made her way to the counter. Natsu sat back down in his seat, pulling out his phone and checking his messages. There was one from Gajeel talking about his next tattoo.
"So erm, you and Juvia are really close now, right?"
Natsu looked up when Gray spoke. He wondered if it made him uncomfortable, because he was comfortable with the girl who used to like him. Natsu shrugged and nodded. "Yeah we are. And she's really good at her job too, really focused. She keeps me on track if my mind starts to wander."
They all laughed a little bit, knowing that Natsu had the tendency to do that. He was easily distracted at times. But Natsu was with the small talk now. It was so obvious that there was a reason for him pointing out their friendship.
"So why don't you guys ask me what you really want to ask me?"
The couple sighed. Because Natsu was crazy and happy-go lucky, they usually forget how perceptive he really is. Of course he sussed out that there was something that they wanted to talk to him about.
"Well, we were just thinking, maybe you should tone it down with the physical contact with Juvia? Like, you sound really serious with this girl that you're dating and while we get that you love physical contact with all your friends, maybe you should pull it back a bit with girls? I mean, you don't want your girlfriend getting jealous, right? I mean, if Gray was like this with other girls, I can't lie and say that I would be happy with him."
Natsu's jaw almost dropped and he almost burst out laughing. So it was just like he thought. A little part of him thought that they had caught on and realised that his mystery girl was Juvia, but they didn't think that he could be attracted to Juvia. Instead, they were worried that it might look like he was cheating on his new 'girlfriend'. It was nice of them to look out for him, but if only they knew the truth.
"Yeah, sure. I mean I see no problem with it and she's already met Juves anyway."
That was the wrong thing to say because Gray's eyebrows shot up and Lucy wore a really hurt expression on her face. He cursed mentally. To them, they probably thought that he was hiding this girl away from them because he didn't want to talk to them. Their friendship had already become strained and yet he was now doing things with Juvia. For him to say that Juvia had already met this girl before them was going to push them apart even more.
"I mean, we all saw each other in the supermarket and I introduced the two of them to each other."
Fuck, more lies.
"One bottle of water for you."
He looked up and practically beamed at his saviour. She was smiling back at him and he took the water from her hand, making sure to not make contact. If their fingers brushed together, he wouldn't know how to react and the last thing he wanted to do was short circuit in front of Gray and Lucy.
"Thanks Juves. I owe ya one."
"Not really. Anyway, what are you guys talking about?"
Lucy wasted no time replying. Everyone could hear the crack in her voice when she spoke, but everyone also ignored it for her sake.
"Oh you know. Natsu tells me that you met his girlfriend."
Juvia nodded slowly. "Juvia bumped into them in the supermarket. She's a really nice person. Juvia also felt Natsu's awkwardness at the time too. It was clear that he didn't want any of his friends to meet her just yet."
"I could fucking kiss her right now and I wouldn't care WHO sees it."
The only explanation would have been that Juvia heard what he was saying when she was coming back to the table. He ruffled his hair and looked back up at the couple who seemed to be pacified with the answer, especially as it was coming from Juvia.
"We'll let you off for now, flamebrain. But we're gonna meet her one day."
"If Juvia says yes to me, you would have already met her."
"Yeah, of course. Soon, I promise. Yo Juves, Gajeel wants me to come tonight to complete my sleeve. He's going to add the colour."
Before Juvia could respond, Gray did instead. "Gajeel? Man, I haven't seen that guy in ages. Is he still a bastard?"
"The biggest."
Juvia tutted from beside Natsu. "Juvia doesn't appreciate her brother being spoken about like this."
Natsu laughed and Gray looked horrified. He clearly didn't realise that Gajeel was her brother. If she doesn't say anything, no one would ever know. They didn't look alike at all. Not a single feature looked the same.
"No way are you related to him! That's so unfortunate!"
"Gray," Juvia gave him a warning with the tone of her voice. That shut him up immediately and Natsu could see the confusion settling in. Natsu felt smug when he noticed. It was clearly hard for Gray to come to terms that Juvia didn't like him in that way anymore. In the past, Gray could do no wrong. She was head over heels for him and if anyone ever insulted Gray, Juvia was the first to respond. To see her giving him a warning as if she would beat him up the next time he said anything bad about her brother was hilarious to watch.
Natsu had never been happier. Gray meant nothing to her now, the same way she had meant nothing to him the whole time. This was a great sign. Perfect even. He was finally going to get the girl. This had never happened to him before. He could definitely get used to this.
"Dragneel, Lockser. You're with me."
The four of them looked up to see Erza beckoning for them to come over. Natsu pointed and both himself and then Juvia and Erza rolled her eyes with a huge sigh and the pair gave her a cheeky grin before standing up.
"Guess I'll see you guys later then."
"Will you?"
They went silent and the look on Lucy's face was enough to show them that she hadn't meant to say it out loud. Juvia slipped away quickly. She didn't do awkward situations and she felt like she shouldn't be here listening to this. Natsu seemed to deal with the situation swiftly.
"Well yeah. We're not in uni anymore where we're always available. Free time is precious. And I remember being ignored for a year while I took the time to invite you guys out on Saturdays and you never came, so I'll see ya when I see ya."
He shrugged and just left them there as they followed Erza. Juvia clamped her mouth shut. She glanced up at Natsu and he wore a neutral look. She didn't want to say anything in front of Erza, so she knew that she was going to have to speak to him about it later. She had no doubt that he didn't like Lucy at all, but he was starting to get a little resentful. He sounded bitter that he was left behind for pretty much a year and now that he had the opportunity to do the same, he was being petty and spiteful. She couldn't let him do that, but she was going to talk to him alone.
They both entered Gajeel's studio after a long day with Erza going over some other things that they had to make sure they had done or were to do. It was tiring with Erza just talking at you constantly and Juvia had almost fallen asleep a few times, had it not been for Natsu who had to to pinch her thigh under the table to keep her awake.
"Juvia is sure that when she removes her tights, she's going to see red bruises on her thighs."
Natsu just grinned. "And if anyone sees them, just say they're love bites from when you were having hot sex with some guy."
Juvia ignored and shoved him out of the way and smiled when she saw that it was Levy who was receptionist for the evening. She grinned at Juvia as they hugged each other. "Levy-chan! It's been so long! How are you?!"
"Oh you know me, I'm pretty good. Working hard as per usual. I just got promoted, so I have even more time on my hands. I can afford to come and help out with Gajeel here now too. I'm just making some flyers because Gajeel wants another two tattoo artists and another piercer as well. With him raking in a lot of money and customers, it's getting a bit much for him and Zera to handle it themselves. I'm just working on that now."
Juvia nodded in excitement as she came around and looked at the computer screen, happy with the work she had done. She then looked up and pointed at Natsu.
"Juvia guesses that Levy-chan knows Natsu, right?"
Levy's eyes turned to Natsu and her grin widened and she moved to hug him as well. "Of course I do! We went to school together! Wow, I can't believe it's you! I haven't seen you in so long!"
Natsu grinned as he moved behind the desk. "It has been a while. You went off to the big shot uni for the big shot smart people and now you're an alumni. Nice work, bookworm."
She pouted, clearly hating that nickname that had stuck with her her whole life. Juvia snickered at the face as Levy waved her hand at Natsu, essentially shooing him away.
"Go, Gajeel's in there setting up. I'm done talking to you now."
Natsu smirked and tried to pull Juvia along with him. Juvia shook her head. "Juvia is going to stay with Levy-chan. Natsu can go ahead. But, Juvia needs to talk to you about something. Sooo, when we're finished, let's go to that little restaurant that we went to before."
Natsu gulped. Was Juvia deciding to step up and be the one to ask him out instead? Had he waited too long to do it himself and now she was going to take matters into her own hands? Juvia was always the one to ask Gray out without any shame, so he shouldn't be surprised if Juvia does try to ask him out. In fact, he was almost offended that Juvia hadn't tried to ask HIM out yet. Maybe he was reading all the signs wrong.
"Uh, yeah. Sure thing."
Juvia smiled and then turned back to Levy to keep her company.
"Get the fuck over here and stop making moon eyes at my sister."
Natsu jumped before he turned around and glared at Gajeel who was smirking before he then stared at the person sitting in the seat next to where Natsu was going to be sitting. He was looking down at his phone, but Natsu could instantly tell that he was the Redfox-Lockser youngest.
"Woah, you guys really do look alike! Man, Juvia really doesn't look like any of you."
The young man looked up when he realised that he was being spoken about. He smiled simply and mock saluted.
"Yo, the name's Rogue. We get that a lot. It's kinda awkward when the three of us walk down the road together and we have to let people know that we are NOT having a threesome with our own sister."
Gajeel groaned at the memories and Natsu snickered. Okay, so this guy was like a more chill version of Gajeel. He also looked a lot smarter.
"Anyway, I'm done with my tattoo. Is Juvia out at the front? I haven't seen her in so long."
Natsu nodded. "Yeah, she's busy keeping Levy company."
"Sweet. Nice meeting you. JUVIA-NEE!"
"KAMI, ROGUE!"
He was off in a shot and Natsu could hear Juvia's screams of joy. "Rogue's in Uni, but he's all the way in Caelum. He came back for the Christmas holidays, so Juvia's excited to see him. No one's allowed to miss any flower viewing holiday."
Natsu nodded as he got into the seat. "Juvia told me about that. This one is the peony viewing."
"Yup. It was our parents first date, so they kind of imposed it on us. I'm not complaining, it ended up being mine and Levy's first date too. I guess I'm just a sentimental bastard."
Natsu laughed as he rolled up the sleeve of his shirt. He watched as Gajeel got the gun and his ink ready. He couldn't wait for it to be completed today. He was going to have a fresh sleeve done. He wondered if he should get something done on his other arm as well.
"When is the peony viewing festival?"
"This weekend. Levy's taking me to Fantasia next weekend. Never been to it, but she keeps going on about it. Anything's better than taking my girl to Winter Wonderland. I remember going with an ex one year and fuck ME was it expensive."
Natsu nodded with an exaggerated sigh. "I remember I went with friends in uni and my wallet fucking hated me. I had to get my parents to give me some food because I was gonna end up starving to death. I never looked back at that place."
Well, that was one thing they agreed on, but that now changed everything. He could have sworn that the two dates were the other way around. Well, at least they were on separate weekends because they had always been on at the same time.
"Gajeel. I'm planning to ask your sister out for real."
The fact that he had used his real name and not 'bastard' already let Gajeel know that what he was about to say was for real. The fact that he had even decided to come and let him know what he was going to do, made Gajeel respect him. He stopped and looked at Natsu. He didn't back down and stared back at him.
"You're serious." He didn't even phrase it as a question and Natsu nodded in response.
"As serious as a heart attack. I don't know how much of the situation Juvia let you in on, but we've been hanging out together as friends and I relay the information to my friends that I went on a date. It keeps them off my back. Juvia knows about this, I haven't been using her blindly. But now that I keep on hanging out with her, I've found myself liking her, falling for her. I asked Lyon how I should ask her out and he told me to do it at a place that has meaning for her. Hearing how Hanami and all the other flower festivals are a tradition for you guys, I wanna ask her out there."
Gajeel peered at him through his blood red eyes and Natsu felt uncomfortable for the first time ever, though he would never admit that to him. He would never let him know that he's making him feel scared about his opinion.
"Dragneel. I've gotta say, you've got my respect right now. I'm pretty sure she's told you how I've pretty much scared everyone away from her, but that's because shitty men wanna try shitty things and it's my job as her big brother to fuck up any cunt who dares to even look her way."
Natsu nodded with understanding and Gajeel took it as a sign to continue with his words and the tattoo. Natsu knew what it was like. When Wendy hit that age where she could get male attraction, he was suddenly on alert, looking to beat up any trash that came near her.
"Only one guy was brave enough to try and date Juvia."
"Bora. I met the prick at a sumo match. Fucking dick."
"I couldn't agree with you more. It was a bet. See if he could get Juvia into bed with him. He didn't obviously. Juvia thinks I don't know about it, but I do. I still had eyes and ears in that school to make sure her and Rogue were okay. Then Juvia falls in love with this other fucking idiot that she meets in uni and she's even worse with it. She was acting like she had been starved from male attention and I guess that I was to blame for that. I mean I wasn't exactly the perfect example. I was sleeping around with every girl I could find. Only difference was, I didn't date and cheat on them. I just fucked around. Until I met Levy of course.
"But yeah, I met this Gray dick who had my sister acting all lovesick and I was tryna tell her that he ain't like her like that, do you think she listened to me? Nope. Three damn years she tried to get his attention. By the fourth year she wasn't tying as much, but then it died down and I never heard her say his name again. Then she shows up here with you."
His eyes were back on Natsu's and Natsu nodded slowly. "The moment you guys stepped into the shop, I hate to admit it, but you guys looked good together. I knew it was only a matter of time before you guys started liking each other. You didn't give off the friends vibe like Juvia and Lyon do. But like I said, I respect you. You don't fuck around with feelings, keep a girl waiting and you're not as stupid as you try and make yourself out to be. Still fucking stupid though."
Natsu rolled his eyes. Trust Gajeel to ruin the mood. "Gee, thanks."
Gajeel gave him a feral grin. "But I know you would never treat my sister like shit. I can trust her with you, and look at you being all traditional and shit. Asking me, her brother for help. I think you've got a solid plan there, taking her to see the peonies. If you really wanna get further into her good books, make sure that you buy her purple stuff. And some peonies."
Natsu raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Purple stuff? But her favourite colour is blue."
Gajeel couldn't help but laugh when he heard Natsu say that. Natsu realised what he sounded like and couldn't help but growl and blush out of embarrassment.
"Gihihihi! My sister's got you whipped! Yeah her favourite colour is blue, but purple is symbolic. One of her favourite music groups uses the colour purple as a sign for never ending love or some crap like that. Girls love that shit."
Natsu was making a mental note of everything he was saying as he nodded and retained the information. "Gotcha. So you're happy with me asking her out? I'm fucking nervous man."
Gajeel nodded as he wiped away some excess ink. Natsu looked down to see his dragon being finalised and it looked amazing, just like all of Gajeel's other pieces. He grinned at the thought of Juvia's dragon technically matching his dragon.
"Don't be. I can tell that Juvia really likes ya. First of all, she has someone who isn't family to geek out over the dragon chronicles with her, she's started back up with swimming again and she loves watching someone do something they love more than she loves doing what she loves. I've been so busy with setting this place up and getting myself stable that I wasn't able to show her around the place and help her get to know her way around. You've done that, given her someone to hang out with who isn't Meredy and Lyon and she's never been happier. You caused that Dragneel. I know damn well she's falling for ya."
Natsu blushed as he looked away. He clearly didn't look away as fast as he thought because Gajeel barked out his laughter, but he otherwise didn't say anything.
"No point hiding your face from me, dude. Look at the kind of guy I am. I'm dating Miss bookworm. I know you guys went to school together and I know that that must be weird for you to see that she's dating me. I ain't gonna judge ya for liking someone and actually showing yer feelings. I would be worried if you didn't show any feelings, like that bastard...Blue? Either way, I knew he wasn't the one for Juvia."
Natsu cackled when Gajeel got Gray's name wrong and didn't bother correcting him. They then started talking about everything and anything, discussing the new installment for dragon chronicles and the brand new game that was supposed to be coming out on console.
"Do you want me to get Rogue to get you something? I'm sure Juvia will jump up at the opportunity to get you fed."
"Nah, it's cool. Juvia told me that she wants to talk to me and is making me take her to my favourite restaurant. I've got no clue what she wasn't to discuss. Could be work related for all I know, but she did look serious, so I doubt that it is."
"Did you do something to piss her off?"
"Nah. At least I don't think so. She would have said something by now if I did. She's not really one to hold stuff like that in. When she tries, I usually know that there's something wrong immediately. There's probably something else that she wants to talk about."
Gajeel shrugged. "I can't tell ya man, I've got no clue. She hasn't said anything, so I wouldn't know. You'll be fine. If you've pissed her off, just work some of your charm and she'll be aight again."
Natsu laughed. "Someone sounds like they're used to doing it."
Gajeel grinned with all his teeth. "You have no fucking idea."
~x~
"Oh ho, you guys are back here? How are we tonight?"
It was a Monday night, so the restaurant was really quiet. It was also really late. Natsu's arm was wrapped in cling film and Juvia was marvelling at it. Her whole family was so creative. She made clothes and Rogue loved art too. Gajeel was so talented, and that's why she was happy enough to get him to tattoo her. She would get Rogue to design the tattoos and then Gajeel would do it. It felt like she had a piece of her brothers with her at all times.
"Yep, we're back here! Juvia couldn't get your food out of her head and now she wants it in her stomach."
The girl blushed and tried to hide her face, but everyone chuckled lightly as Cosmos led them over to a table. She placed down their menus and winked at the couple before heading back over to their till to talk to her fellow colleagues. She knew that Juvia would take her time with her order because she wanted to slowly go through their whole menu.
Natsu pulled out Juvia's chair for her and he beamed at her pink cheeks. It really is a sight to behold when he gets her blushing. "Natsu doesn't have to do that for Juvia."
"I know I don't have to, but I really want to. It's not like it bothers me, so it's cool."
He tried to make himself sound nonchalant, but he was scared that he was giving himself away. Juvia smiled and nodded as she picked up the menu to take a look. While what she had last time was nice, she wanted something else. She wanted to try everything that they had to offer. Natsu himself knew the menu inside and out and knew what he was getting already. As soon as their orders had been taken, Juvia cleared her throat. Natsu had been waiting for this moment.
"Natsu...Is Natsu still bitter about Lucy-chan?"
"What?"
The question had fallen out of his mouth before he could even stop it. He hadn't meant for it to be that loud, but he was genuinely surprised by the question. He probably looked extremely confused and he was happy when Juvia continued to explain herself. She looked almost as nervous as he felt.
"What Juvia means is that she couldn't help but notice that Natsu is getting more and more spiteful whenever he speaks to Lucy-chan. Juvia understands that he wants them to have a taste of their own medicine because they made you feel left out for a whole year, but being angry isn't the way to go."
Natsu almost looked ashamed. It looked like he was going to end up telling her about what he had been hiding sooner rather than later. "Oh, you can tell?"
She nodded her head. "Juvia has always been able to tell. At first she thought maybe Natsu hasn't gotten over Lucy-chan, but then Juvia realised that that wasn't the case. While Lucy-chan is being a hypocrite, it wouldn't do Natsu any favours to be salty."
He laughed at her phrasing and nodded, realising that she was right. Why did she have the power to read him like a book? Why did she take the time to sit back and analyse him, as well as get to know what is eating away at him? No one had done that for him since Lisanna had left the country. He hid behind his mask so well that many people never knew what was going on in his mind. Yet here was Juvia admitting that she was always aware when there was something up with him.
"I can't fucking hide anything from you, can I?"
She gave him a half shrug, reaching her hand onto the table and clasping his hand in both of hers. "Juvia doesn't want Natsu to hide anything from Juvia. Natsu isn't alone, not when Juvia is right here. Holding onto all that anger, all that bitterness, it's not good for anyone. From Juvia's point of view, Natsu still hasn't gotten over Lucy-chan."
He pulled his hand away from hers and Juvia sighed, knowing that that would happen. "Yes I have! I don't like her anymore! I don't want her like that anymore! Trust me, I've got no feelings for her!"
Juvia looked at him. She believed him, but there was clearly still a trace of his feelings for her within him.
"Then why is Natsu so mad then? If you don't care what she does or have any feelings for her anymore, why is Natsu still so angry with Lucy-chan?"
Natsu looked at her. She wasn't judging him. She wasn't trying to get him to apologise for his actions, she was just trying to understand them a little better. She just wanted to be there for him. This was the sort of girl he had fallen for and he really hoped that she didn't actually think he hadn't gotten over Lucy when he really has.
"Because...Because I was going through some shit of my own for the last year and a half and no one fucking gave a damn. I lived every fucking day like it was my last and when I wanted my friends to be there with me, to hang out with me and shit, I was turned away every fucking time. Only Lyon was there for me."
Something struck Juvia a bit too hard. This genuinely had nothing to do with his feelings for Lucy. This was definitely above Gray and Lucy dating, despite Lucy knowing his feelings for her. She didn't like where this conversation was going, but she had to know. She could feel her throat clog up with emotion. Natsu sounded so angry, so hurt. No, this was bigger than heartbreak.
"Natsu? If you can't continue, then it's fine. Juvia was just trying to help, but it looks like she was being nosey. That's not what Juvia intended. It's fine if you don't want to go on."
Natsu laughed a little bit, but there was no humour in it at all. He looked at her before sighing and reaching forward, holding her hands that were still on the table. He had kept this secret for so long that it was slowly eating away at him. Juvia was right. He can't stay bitter and angry, but he wanted Juvia to be the first to know.
"Juvia, what I'm about to say can't be repeated to anyone. When I say no one knows, I mean that no one important to me knows. Not my parents, not my siblings, not Lucy, not Gray. When I tell you what I'm going to say, only me and you will know. Oh and HR of course, but they're not important."
No pressure at all. He watched as Juvia gulped and nodded her head. He had half a mind to tell her that he was a killer and that he was secretly part of some mafia famiglia. While that would be funny, this wasn't the time for that sort of humour. Not when it wasn't funny.
He held her hand tightly, almost as if to comfort himself. He felt her hold him back just as tight and she gave him an encouraging smile. A smile that let him know that she was always going to be there for him. He was grateful for that smile. It was what he needed right now.
"Juvia, I had cancer."
He watched a myriad of emotions flittered over her face in the space of like a second. Her eyes were wide as she pulled her hands away from him and they flew to cover her mouth as she looked at him. He then peeled his eyes away from her when he saw Cosmos coming out with their food. He watched out of the corner of his eyes as she tried to act normal before Cosmos got to their table.
"Here ya go love birds! Food all piping hot and freshly made, just like ya like it! Have a beautiful evening, okay?"
Natsu nodded and grinned. Juvia also threw her own killer smile at her and was polite like usual. The moment Cosmos was gone, the worry came back. Natsu wasn't sure if she was going to eat again after this. She honestly looked like she was going to collapse. He was pretty sure he looked the same way when he was told about his diagnosis.
"Natsu...how could you tell nobody?"
He sighed. He knew it would come to this. For no one else to know, it was a shock. He felt his very core shake when her voice came out as a cracked whisper.
"I didn't want anyone to worry at the time. It was pretty painful to do shit, but I came in to work whenever I could, but that was fucking barely. Zeref was away all of last year, he didn't get to come back once. I would never hear the end of it from my parents. They would treat me like a sick person."
"Because you were fucking sick!" She practically screeched at him.
Natsu reeled back. He had never heard Juvia swear before and right now, it had surprised him. The look in her eyes were wild. She wasn't impressed and she was definitely raging if she had just sworn and she didn't even look apologetic for doing so. Her eyes then widened as if she had realised something horrifying.
"And on top of that, we've been smoking together! Fuck! How could Juvia carelessly indulge in something that is definitely not helping Natsu out here?! That's it, no more smoke breaks! Juvia's sorry, but we're going to get you to stop with immediate effect! Juvia is NOT having Natsu go through that pain again! If something like this ever happens again, at least tell Juvia if you can't tell anyone, okay? Promise Juvia."
He heard her voice crack during her rant and then the tears started falling. This was exactly why he didn't want anyone to know about his situation in the first place. His throat clogged up at the sight of Juvia crying over him. He wasn't someone who deserved tears. He definitely shouldn't have made Juvia cry.
"Fuck Juves, I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry." He reached over the table and used his thumb to wipe her tears. She grabbed his wrist and shook her head, pulling his hand away from her face. She looked at him with hard eyes and he felt hurt. Did she hate him? That was probably one thing that he could never live with.
"Don't apologise for something that wasn't your fault. Let Juvia cry over this, okay? But Natsu still hasn't promised Juvia..."
He sighed with relief. So she doesn't hate him. "I promise you I'll tell you if something like this ever happens again in my life. But don't cry over me."
Juvia shook her head, more tears falling down her face. "No promises to that. Let Juvia cry over this, but let Juvia be there for you. That's what Juvia will promise to do. So how did you heal? Juvia is sure she would have noticed a bald Natsu around if you chemotherapy."
She tried to make a little joke about it and he laughed and ruffled his hair with his free hand. "Nah, I didn't bother with chemo. I went to a doctor, the one that my cousin goes to. It's his aunt on his mum's side, so nothing to do with me, but she's really holistic. She doesn't believe in all that medicine bullshit, just natural herbs and treatment. I was so fucking worried that it wasn't going to work out, but she fixed me up real good. Like, so fucking good that I go to her now for any trouble. She gave me a list of shit that I need to do and that I'm not allowed to eat, which is why even though I eat a shitload of food, there's certain shit I don't eat."
Juvia soaked in everything he was saying and Natsu tilted his head when he saw the calculated look she was wearing. She had been silent the whole time he was talking, but her expression wasn't easy to read. "What are you thinking?"
"Juvia is thinking that now she knows this, she'll be a terrible friend not to do anything about it, so Juvia is going to be cooking all of Natsu's meals. No more ready made crap, Natsu needs real food in his system and Juvia is going to be the one to make sure that that happens. Just give Juvia a copy of the food list and Juvia will make it. No arguing. Shut up and eat your food now."
Natsu actually snapped his mouth closed and held back whatever it was that he was going to say to her and nodded his head in a 'yes ma'am' fashion. She seemed satisfied with that and they started eating their meal together. Juvia found that although she enjoyed her food, she felt sick. Natsu was dealing with cancer for over a year and nobody knew. She wanted to say that her excuse was that she didn't really know him as well as she should have and that they only recently started hanging out, but that wasn't enough. She should have said something when she started seeing Gray and Lucy come to the cafeteria without him.
It took them a while, but they finally finished their food. Juvia was going to leave the half that she couldn't eat, but it would seem rude as well as suspicious, so she tried her best to eat every last bite. Natsu himself was struggling to stomach his own food and it was clear that it was because of the topic previously discussed.
Juvia snatched Natsu's card away from him to stop him from paying and made the payment herself. He groaned at her and she smirked as she handed the card back and even handed Cosmos a tip. The woman smiled. "Thanks for that, cutie. But if Natsu is willing to pay, let him do it, okay?"
Juvia nodded her head, despite not wanting to heed to that advice in the future. "Juvia will. Goodnight!"
Everyone waved them off as they left the place. Because they had come straight from the station, they had to walk back home. It was already late and Natsu's main priority was getting Juvia back to hers.
"Come on, let me walk you home."
"What, no! Juvia will be fine. Natsu lives in the other direction. Juvia can't make you walk her home and then you walk back!"
"Juves, I ain't leaving ya to walk home by yourself. I'm not fucking crazy to do that."
Juvia huffed. "Then come home with Juvia. Natsu can sleep round!"
He raised an eyebrow before he smirked. "Oh, you want me in your bed that badly, huh?"
The girl practically screeched at his where his mind was - in the gutter. She didn't know how to react to that, but she didn't have to because soon Natsu was laughing.
"I'm just joking Juves! If I do come around to yours, I'll sleep on the couch! But I think I'll just go to my parents' place. Remember, they live on the same road as you? I don't have to sleep around yours. Sorry to disappoint ya."
Juvia glared at him as they started walking. "Luckily I've got clothes for work at their place, but I'll go to the gym in the morning anyway and then maybe go home from there. But saying that, I could just come back and walk with you."
Juvia nodded. "Let's go to the leisure centre together then! Juvia will go for a swim and Natsu can go to the gym! Then we can go to work together. Sound good?"
He nodded his head. Any time spent with Juvia was more than good. "It sounds great."
Juvia nodded and Natsu watched as she reached out for his hand. As soon as it made contact, she clasped her fingers around his and squeezed it tightly. He knew that she was still thinking about what he had told her. It was a shock to think that he had cancer and because he hadn't told anyone about it, it almost seemed like that part of his life hadn't happened. Sometimes he forgot that it was something that happened to him. Telling Juvia reminded him of how real it was. As well as the simple fact that he really should stop smoking.
"Juvia wasn't joking when she said that Natsu has to tell Juvia when he's sick. Natsu is important to Juvia, she wouldn't know what to do without you. Juvia wishes that we were this close over a year ago, because Juvia would never blow off Natsu whenever he wants to hang out. Juvia understands that Natsu was hurt and betrayed, even now, Juvia doesn't want to look at the two of them for doing that to you, but please let it go? Holding a grudge is so...so unhealthy and Juvia doesn't want that to eat away at Natsu anymore than it should. Okay?"
He nodded his head, emotion drowning him from deep within. Juvia really does care for him. He also knew she wasn't lying when she said that she would never blow him off. Right from the beginning, Juvia had shown that she is someone who will always say yes to any of his plans, granted she's not busy. Even then, she'll tell him why she can't make it, not say 'something came up' like Gray and Lucy were always saying. He should have been able to guess.
"Juves, c'mon, stop crying."
He had to wipe her tears away again and this time, she couldn't help but fall into his arms and bury her face into his chest. This time, she was sobbing loudly, not caring how would see them together. He felt his eyes burn, wanting to cry with her. He had spent so many nights crying himself to sleep because of the pain or thinking that he would die alone that he just didn't want to cry anymore.
"Juvia is sorry! Juvia can't help it! Juvia can't help but think of the pain that Natsu went through, all by himself! Juvia is sorry!"
"Shh. Juves, I'm fine now okay? And even if I'm not, I'll tell you, okay? I hate seeing you cry, it makes me wanna cry. Tears don't suit you."
She hid her face well into his chest and squeezed her arms around his torso. Natsu wasn't going to let the opportunity be wasted as he held her as intimately as he could, sheltering her from the rest of the world.
"Juvia will try her best to stop. It just hurts knowing that they really weren't there for you. How did Natsu get away with sickness from work if no one knows?"
"I told HR about it, but I told them not to disclose anything to my manager. They just put it down as like remote working. After all, I actually got this job through my masters, so there was a time where I was barely here anyway. I had loads of work to do, so uni let me finish all my exams this year."
Juvia moved her face to look up at him. Even through her tears, she still looked so gorgeous. Her face was wet, but she looked like she was glowing.
"So Natsu even has his masters? Juvia doesn't like this at all, she feels like she barely knows you. And then to know that you were dealing with this all by yourself."
The tears started once more as she tried her best to wipe at her face. She swatted Natsu's hands when he wanted to do it for her and she shook her head, turning away from him.
"Don't mind Juvia. But the others were never suspicious?"
Natsu sighed and shook his head. "No, not really. I know Lyon knew something was going on. Every time we hung out, he would bring over something his mum made. And now that I think about it, something that you made too. He would never comment on my weight, but I know he was looking at how bad I was looking."
Juvia sniffled and Natsu stroked her head, comforting her. She giggled a little bit through her tears. "It should be Juvia stroking Natsu's head, not the other way round."
Natsu laughed as they started walking. He held her hand in his as they made their way back home. Natsu felt good, like a weight had finally been lifted off of his shoulders. It felt good telling someone about what he was going through. To know that he would be missed by someone had he actually passed away. He never thought about how his friends and family would actually feel had someone eventually found him dead in his house.
His throat tightened with guilt. They wouldn't be able to forgive themselves, especially if they never got to say goodbye. Lyon would kick himself for not putting two and two together, Gray and Lucy would regret bailing on him every time he asked to hang out and his family would be in pieces.
He couldn't help it as a sob ripped through him and his tears finally fell. Before he knew it, they were sitting on a bench, his head resting on Juvia's chest as she cradled him close. His fists grabbed at her shirt as he couldn't stop himself from balling his eyes out.
"Just let it all out. Juvia is here."
Her voice soothed him as he tried his best to calm down, but when he thought of how everyone would react to his death, he cried harder.
"I-I'm sorry."
"Stop that, Natsu has nothing to be sorry for. It's okay. You're okay now. Just...let someone be there for you next time, okay? Let Juvia be there for you..."
He nodded his head as Juvia's fingers raked through his hair. He didn't care about who would see them right now. All he knew was that even if his world came crashing down around him, as long as he was in Juvia's arms, everything would be alright.
So how was that chapter for you? I hope it was too much? I wanted to put a trigger warning at the beginning, but I wasn't too sure? Let me know in the reviews if it needs a trigger warning because then I'll put it in. This chapter took a really long time to perfect because I wanted to make sure the reaction was real. I tried my best to draw on how I've felt or how my family have felt whenever we've found out that someone is terminally ill. I hope I did it justice.
So yes, I made Natsu have cancer, go ahead and throw your stones at me! After all, he did have that 'tumour' in the actual manga, so I thought why not incorporate that in? Also, it's also to do with personal experience. I had an uncle (my dad's cousin) who was diagnosed with prostate cancer and told NO ONE until it was too late. Like he didn't tell his wife about it either. Because they live in Nigeria, I have no clue what excuse he was giving her, but I do know she soon had enough of his shit and dragged him here to the UK to as many private hospitals as she could. They even resorted to a holistic doctor and my uncle said that his treatment felt a lot nicer compared to whatever was going on in the hospital (I don't even know if he was able to start chemo because of how far the cancer had spread). Because I started a new job at the time, I never actually got to visit him or really process what was going on. All I remember is my parents saying that I should count myself lucky that I never got to see him because now they're haunted by the memory of what he looked like before he passed away. I still have the image of my favourite uncle from like 7 years ago.
Natsu smoking despite having had cancer is also like a reflection of all the men in my family on both sides. Must be a Nigerian thing, I dunno. But they literally DON'T listen to doctors and treatment. They like to do things their own way. I had a diabetic uncle (both my dad's brothers actually) who ate sugar and drank alcohol until they got their shit amputated or went blind, just because they feel like no one should be able to tell them how they should treat their bodies. They're both dead now and I know that whipped my dad into shape about his health. My dad's also gone down the holistic route too, so I guess this chapter also hit a little close to home too.
Please don't forget to rate or hate, flames or floods! Next week I will try and make sure that I update on Thursday. I know I have that day off, so hopefully I won't hate the chapter when it's time to update haha. Make sure to stay clean, safe and sane! I love you guys so much, thanks for getting this far with me!
Lolita-chan