AUTHOR'S NOTES: TW: acts of mild violence, domestic fighting (not abuse)
This chapter was so difficult to write. I'm a fluff lover through and through but know that giving fluff, and only fluff, can become flat rather easily. I really do enjoy this chapter though, because it pushed me out of my comfort zone. The ending turned out extremely different than I had originally intended, but I prefer it, even if some people might find it controversial/predictable.
Thank you to everyone who comments, subscribes and kudos' this story. It's become my baby and have sort of developed an entire universe surrounding it. Thank you for stickin' around!
They'd only met up once since their last argument, Kagome feeling they needed time to cool down and catch their bearings before seeing each other again. That didn't mean communication stopped. She'd called him just as she'd promised and they'd had a somewhat awkward conversation surrounding Touga as a father and how he wasn't really around. Again, Inuyasha didn't give her much to go on, but Kagome could tell that he was at least trying - and that's all that she'd asked for.
Their meeting after that had felt like things were back to normal, grabbing take out and making each other laugh; it felt good. The sex afterward wasn't too bad either, having been away from one another for longer than they had in a while. All of the pent up aggression and nervousness had melted away as they both reached their highs and came crashing down together.
He'd stayed the night, and in the morning they were slow to rise, Kagome being the one to finally convince them that they needed to get up. Inuyasha had stayed until later in the afternoon until he mentioned needing to head home as he had work early in the morning. A large part of her wanted to convince him to stay, but she too had obligations the next day that required a good night's sleep; and he could be oh so distracting when he wanted to be.
With a kiss goodbye, it was the last they'd see each other for another few days, leaving Kagome lonely and missing him.
[SMS sending to: MechDaddy ?] - hey babe. how about i come over tonight and bring that new pho place we've been wanting to try. (seen ✔️)
[SMS sending to: MechDaddy ?] - i miss you ❤️ (seen ✔️)
Sending off the message, she moved to the bedroom to grab an overnight bag with the assumption that he would be alright with it and tell her to go on over to his place for the night. Yet, when she heard the ping and saw his response, her face fell into a confused frown.
[SMS received from: MechDaddy ?] - not tonight. gotta work real early tomorrow. miss u too (seen ✔️)
It was unlike him to be so dismissive when it came to her going over to his place, knowing full well that, even if he worked early, so long as she stayed at his place it wasn't an issue. Then there was the fact that the text was rather curt and straight to the point, like he was distracted or wanted that to be the end of their conversation. Kagome paused, taking a seat on the edge of her bed and looking over the text once, then twice more, trying to decipher what he meant.
[SMS sending to: MechDaddy ?] - i can go home after, if that makes it easier? (seen ✔️)
Worrying her lower lip, she saw the three dots pop up, telling her that he was typing. But then they went away for a bit, only to come back again. A pang of concern clutched at her chest, running a hand through the ends of her hair and pulling it to one shoulder.
[SMS received from: MechDaddy ?] - i really gotta get up early. can't have you keepin me up. (seen ✔️)
A shaky breath left her, feeling her heart pounding in her chest as she tried to think of a response that wasn't accusatory, but also got some answers. She took note of how he wasn't using any emojis, when he often would to portray a certain way he said things. Inuyasha was still a man of few words, but when it came to texting he was good at making the context clear.
[SMS sending to: MechDaddy ?] - cmon babe. i wanna see you. (seen ✔️)
[SMS sending to: MechDaddy ?] - please? (seen ✔️)
Now she was just trying to see how desperate he was to not have her come over, to see how hard he would argue with her and tell her to stay home. Something felt extremely off and it gnarled deep in her gut and barbed her heart. He was keeping something from her again, she just knew it.
[SMS received from: MechDaddy ?] - i said no. come over tomorrow. (seen ✔️)
Seated cross-legged on her bed, Kagome physically flinched at the response, shoulders pressed to her ears and brows furrowed with discomfort. Yeah. He was definitely hiding something.
[SMS sending to: MechDaddy ?] - k (seen ✔️)
Fine. If he didn't want to give her any decency, she would do the same.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
Why tonight of all nights did she want to come over?
Inuyasha looked over the text again before frantically sending off a dismissive response without really thinking. All that was on his mind was to get her to not head out or come to his house. A sliver of his mind told him maybe she could come over but leave before nightfall, but that was too risky.
[SMS sending to: Babygirl ❤️] - not tonight. gotta work real early tomorrow. miss u too (seen ✔️)
He couldn't have her come over tonight and he would do anything and everything to deter her. It was completely ridiculous, he knew that, to keep it from her and make sure she never found out what he was. Kagome felt like home, like she was his safe place and perhaps even that forever place, if things continued how they were. And it was because of that, that fear of maybe not having that home anymore, that he hid the most shameful part of himself away.
That text hadn't done its job, seeing Kagome try to come back with some form of compromise that only had the hanyou's heart racing in his ribcage. Seated on his couch, elbows resting on his knees as he leaned forward from the comfortable seated position he'd been in earlier, he groaned lowly to himself while running his hand over his face.
[SMS received from: Babygirl ❤️] - cmon babe. i wanna see you. (seen ✔️)
[SMS received from: Babygirl ❤️] - please? (seen ✔️)
"God damnit, Kagome. Just fuck off for one night, jesus christ," he hissed to himself, shaking his head when he saw the texts of her pleading so sweetly to come over. It was a visceral reaction, one that came on nights like these that left him overly irritated and emotional. Did he want to see her? Fuck yeah he did. He always did; but not tonight - any night but tonight.
[SMS sending to: Babygirl ❤️] - i said no. come over tomorrow. (seen ✔️)
It was final; well, he hoped. Hopefully she would take the hint and leave him alone for the night. He'd got what he wanted, but the simple 'k' spoke volumes to how unimpressed and possibly hurt she was. He wasn't an idiot, he knew how it looked to her, but the primal, self-protective part of him couldn't give a shit. It meant that he would be alone for the night, just as he wanted and needed on nights like this.
Turning off his phone, he tossed it on the couch before putting his head in his hands, "Fuck," he hissed again, dragging his hands down his face before glancing back at his phone. He had to forget about it, otherwise it would eat him alive knowing that he'd been so harsh towards her.
He'd been glad that he didn't compromise and let her stay until nightfall, as the sun had fallen over the horizon much sooner than he'd anticipated. A pulse ran through him, one that felt like it was draining every part of him, every muscle feeling heavier. The acute hearing he was used to felt like it had been extremely muffled as the rest of his senses dulled along with it. Inuyasha watched as his claws receded and felt his fangs do the same.
If he were looking in the mirror, he would see the once bright, glowing amber had descended into a dark charcoal. Peering down to his chest, he could see the silver in his hair turn raven black, as if someone had spilled ink over him.
He was human.
Inuyasha clenched his fists then, as if trying to feel out how much of his strength had left him as he looked out his back window to see a dark, empty sky.
The night of the new moon.
It never got easier.
As Inuyasha stayed up the whole night through (as he always did on human nights), he had no idea that Kagome was doing the same, but for a very different reason.
Kagome tried to let it go. Tried to dig deep into that trust she held towards Inuyasha but found it to be cracked from the events with Touga. She tried to remind himself that he was trying, even if it seemed less than obvious to her upon first glance. But that gnawing feeling in her gut told her otherwise; it told her to question him and find out what he wasn't telling her.
The dark circles under her eyes were enough evidence that she didn't sleep well at all the night before, having only dozed off for a few minutes at a time before her mind started to reel. Slowly, she climbed from her bed, having foregone her usual attire of one of his shirts he'd left over for a matching set of pajamas. She didn't want to catch the scent of him last night and make things worse.
The fact that he had left her on 'seen' for the whole night had her completely on edge. The only time he'd done that was when she got too drunk for her own good and called him to pick her up from a hotel. All because she saw her ex.
That was something she could understand leaving her on 'seen' for. But this? No. It was completely unprovoked.
Walking into the kitchen, she started up her Keurig before pulling out her phone and texting Sango. She needed a distraction for the day, that was for sure, as he hadn't bothered to send her any sort of 'good morning' text and Kagome was feeling too prideful and hurt to be the one to initiate.
[SMS sending to: Sister ❤️] - hey. are you free today? i need some girl time. (seen ✔️)
Kagome put her phone down on the counter then, pouring in some sweet cream before stirring it in. Hearing the ping of a text message, a part of her hoped it was from Inuyasha, but wasn't disappointed when she saw it was from the person she just texted.
[SMS received from: Sister ❤️] - i was just about to text you the same. we can hang at my place maybe? (seen ✔️)
The open invitation had a smile pull at Kagome's lips, knowing that, if she couldn't count on anyone else, she could count on Sango. Grabbing her mug, she headed over to her living room, taking a small, careful sip while on the way. By the time she made it to the couch, she set her mug down on the coffee table and took her usual seat at the sectional, leaning against an arm while typing out a response.
[SMS sending to: Sister ❤️] - that sounds great. i'll be over in an hour. (seen ✔️)
[SMS received from: Sister ❤️] - see you soon. ❤️ (seen ✔️)
Scrolling through her social media, Kagome went through her daily routine of reading and replying to comments on all of her platforms while sipping at her coffee. It had kept her distracted for a while, keeping her busy and preoccupied from the reality of her relationship's situation. That is, until a new text notification came in.
[SMS received from: MechDaddy ?] - mornin babe (unread ️)
His name popped up in the notification box, but Kagome simply swiped it away, ignoring it for the time being. Climbing to her feet, she made her way to her filming room, prepared to put on a fresh face of makeup and get ready to head to Sango's. When she sat down in the chair, she could see just how tired she looked, practically startling herself as she placed both of her hands on her cheeks, "Good lord…" she murmured to herself while drawing in a deep, cleansing breath and releasing it while opening the drawer with all of the products she used daily.
Like hell she'd be seen out in public in her current state.
There was no need for knocking or asking for an invitation, Kagome easily unlocking Sango's apartment door and pushing it open, "Hello?" she called, only to hear Miroku's voice replying from the living room.
"Hey, Kagome! Sango's just in the shower."
That didn't bother her, peeling off her jacket and hanging it up before toeing off her shoes and heading into the living room to join Miroku. That wasn't uncommon, Miroku becoming a friend of Kagome's all on his own and the two of them building a platonic relationship of respect and pleasantries.
Wearing a simple outfit of black leggings and an oversized sweater, Kagome made herself comfortable on the opposite end of the couch. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth, aimed towards the man who sat opposite her, "How's it goin'?" Kagome asked, tucking her feet beneath her and leaning back against the couch. Having been in the middle of a game, the TV showed that Miroku had paused it to the main menu to welcome his girlfriend's best friend into their home.
"Same old, same old. How about you? How're you and our favourite canine doing?"
The question had Kagome tensing for a brief moment, words getting stuck in her throat as her mouth opened and shut a few times, "Uhm," she started, seeing Miroku's expression falter to concern. The sight of that had her flip on her switch of faux positivity, "Oh, y'know! Just a little hiccup. You know how it is in relationships," she stated while waving her hand flippantly, trying to brush off that it wasn't that bad.
Miroku eyed her suspiciously, narrowing his gaze and letting a brow quirk upwards. Kagome gave a nervous laugh as she scratched the back of her head, "Just had a little tiff is all," she added, only to hear Sango's footsteps come from the kitchen and into the living room, "Sango!" Kagome called, as if the woman didn't know she was already there.
"Hey Kagome," Sango offered with a smile, taking a seat between her best friend and boyfriend, "What's this about a 'tiff'?" she asked, seeing Kagome's cheeks stain with a light layer of pink as she gave out a heavy sigh of defeat. She'd been planning to talk to Sango about it anyways, and had only hesitated because Miroku was so close to her boyfriend. Yet, when she thought about it, Sango would have told Miroku regardless - the two of them were more than girlfriend and boyfriend, their friendship rivaled the one between herself and Sango's.
"Last night, Inuyasha was acting really strange," Kagome figured maybe having Miroku around would be to her advantage, "Has he said anything to you?" she asked, letting her attention fall to her friend's boyfriend.
"About what?" Miroku asked, though almost nervously, as if he was hiding something. It seemed Kagome had missed that queue, as she continued to try and explain what happened the night before.
"He was extremely adamant that I didn't come over, which isn't like him," she started, resting an elbow on the back of the couch to rest her head in her palm, "He kept saying he had work early, which didn't make any sense because he's had to work early countless times and I've stayed the night. I-" Kagome worried her lower lip then, shrugging as she tried to find the right words, "I think he's hiding something from me. He has to be, right?"
Sango and Miroku looked at one another for a brief moment, wordlessly communicating before Sango turned her attention back to the distressed friend at her side, "I don't know, Kagome. How else was he acting weird?"
"I don't know. I could just feel it in my gut, y'know? He was uhm...more abrasive than usual towards me."
Both Sango and Miroku scoffed amusingly at that statement, "Inuyasha? Abrasive? No!" Miroku teased before hearing both Kagome and Sango laugh softly in response.
"No. I know. It's just - was it like a full moon or something last night that made him act weird? He's a dog demon, so that makes sense, right?" Kagome pondered out loud, just trying to make sense of what could have had Inuyasha so uptight the night before.
"Quite the opposite. It was a new moon," Miroku stated thoughtlessly as he leaned back against the couch and rested the controller in his lap. A beat passed, hearing Kagome's rather bright and insightful 'oh!' before realizing just what the night before had meant to Inuyasha. It made perfect sense as to why he'd been adamant to have Kagome absent, but Miroku knew he couldn't say anything.
Yet, out of his peripheral vision, he could see Sango react in the same manner, slightly tense as she flinched at the deduction. Finally, Kagome took notice, eyes narrowing towards the pair as a brow quirked upwards, mirroring the look that Miroku had given her not a few minutes before, "What?" she asked slowly, as if trying to draw out the answer from them by the time she ended the word. When neither of her friends spoke, she straightened her spine and folded her arms over her chest, "You're hiding something from me. What is it?"
A sense of frustration washed over Sango, finding it stupid that the hanyou was making them keep his secrets for him. It wasn't fair to her or Miroku, but most of all Kagome. Her and Sango had spoken after the incident with Touga, Kagome explaining how it'd hurt her to know that Inuyasha didn't trust her when it came to certain aspects of his past. To now know that she still had no idea about her boyfriend's blood, it pissed Sango off to no end.
"Kagome-" Sango stated rather firmly and confidently, immediately feeling Miroku's grip on her arm to stop her.
"Sango," Miroku warned, only to feel Sango yank her arm away.
"No, this is stupid. He's being an idiot!" Sango's head snapped towards Miroku in a fashion that matched the tone of her voice.
Kagome's eyes widened at the display, feeling her heart pounding in her chest and like a rock was sitting in the pit of her stomach. Though it seemed she was about to get an answer, she was starting to regret being right.
"Inuyasha's not a full demon, he's half," Sango blurted, looking to Kagome with confidence and preparation for her response, "His mom was human."
Miroku released a deep sigh, hand lifting to pinch the bridge of his nose. The hissy fit he knew he'd need to sit through later with the hanyou in question at the forefront of his mind, "Shouldn't have said anything…" he murmured to himself.
Frozen, Kagome's eyes remained wide as the information seemed to slowly seep into her brain and register itself, "Half...demon?" she sputtered out, as if she'd said the two words for the first time.
That was what he was hiding from her? He knew that Shiori was one of her friends, another half-demon that had even found a fan base despite the fact that society looked down on her bloodline. To think he didn't trust her with that knowledge, it wounded her and seemed to crack her own trust towards him just that much more. Kagome closed her eyes and furrowed her brow, reflecting the emotional pain that radiated from the realization that he'd kept something from her, again. That she had found out something crucial about him from someone else, again.
After a moment, Kagome opened her eyes, though only to the provocation of Sango's voice saying her name questioningly, "And both of you knew?" she asked in a way that had more edge than she would have liked. It wasn't their fault that they didn't tell her, as it really wasn't their place to; it was something Kagome needed to really remind herself of, regardless of how hurt she was that they, too, had kept it from her.
"I'm sorry, Kagome. He told me not to tell you," Sango stated apologetically, reaching out to take Kagome's hands in her own with the intent to comfort. That statement only seemed to drive the knife in deeper, knowing that he had gone as far as to explicitly tell her best friend, her sister, not to say anything, "But I told him that I wouldn't keep it from you, if you asked." With hands limp in Sango's hold, she averted her gaze to try and reel in the emotions that seemed to crash over her.
Six months. Six whole months they'd been dating.
It was starting to get ridiculous, how much he'd kept from her and this really had been the straw to break the camel's back. There was no more patience, no more attempt at understanding. This was a raw emotion filled with hurt and betrayal.
The look in her eyes was far away, as if she'd retreated far into herself to try and grasp at what was being told to her.
He didn't trust her, yet Sango knew before she did. Sure, she assumed Miroku had known from long before, so it would make sense for him to know. But Sango over her? Over the person he was in a romantic relationship with?
How was she supposed to trust him after something like this?
"Kagome?"
Sango's distressed voice had her snapping out of it, eyes flickering towards Sango's and seeing Miroku had the same look of concern. Brows furrowed, showing genuine anger towards the situation at hand, "I can't believe him," Kagome finally managed to say, a tone filled with that same hurt that bled from her eyes.
"Kagome, you have to understand that, his whole life, people have looked down at him for what he is," Miroku tried to defend, knowing full well that Inuyasha's skepticism of revealing what he was held weight.
"You're defending him?" Sango hissed, peering over her shoulder towards her boyfriend.
Miroku shrugged slightly while shaking his head, "Not necessarily. I'm just trying to give some context to his behaviour."
"I-" Kagome shook her head as she closed her eyes, trying to catch her bearings and reel in her emotions, "This still doesn't explain what happened last night," she continued, eyes opening and looking at the two friends in front of her, "He's a half-demon all of the time, so why was last night any different?" If he wasn't going to tell her anything, may as well get as much information as she could from the two people who were willing to give it to her. A moment of pettiness that sparked from the comment he'd made in their last argument.
"That's not something-"
"Miroku, just tell me," Kagome snapped, speaking rather quickly while releasing Sango's hands and clenching her fists against her thighs.
Sango kept her gaze on her boyfriend, staring him down with a heft warning, "Spill it," her tone matched Kagome's, slightly venomous and impatient.
At least Sango didn't know everything.
Stuck between a rock and a hard place, Miroku rubbed the back of his neck; he'd promised Inuyasha that he wouldn't tell anyone. They were close, if not best, friends, and Inuyasha had given him some of his trust - more than most. Though, this was a rather unique situation. The fact that his friend had kept such a large part of himself from the woman he had been dating for the last six months, that was concerning. Unless he didn't intend to keep their relationship going (which was highly unlikely from how Inuyasha acted around Kagome), Miroku didn't understand why he'd kept such a pertinent piece of himself from her.
"I promised not to," Miroku finally stated confidently, though following up with something else to try and give a compromise, "Kagome, you should just ask him yourself; Inuyasha may have withheld information, but he isn't a liar."
Miroku was right. It wasn't up to him, Inuyasha's friend, to tell her.
Releasing a defeated sigh, Kagome moved so her back was against the couch cushions, knees up against her chest as she ran her hands over her face out of frustration, "I don't know what to do…" she whimpered, feeling Sango place a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "First his dad, then this?" Resting her own hand on her forehead, she closed her eyes and shook her head, "If he's willing to hide those things from me, how am I supposed to trust him with anything else?"
Giving a sympathetic sigh, Sango had to agree with Miroku on his stance of Kagome confronting Inuyasha himself, "You should confront him, Kags."
"I know…" she whined, before drawing in a cooling breath, "I know." The second time around held much more confidence.
Concern began to brand itself into his muscles, tense and rigid. Kagome had yet to return his text - it had been more than a few hours and, not wanting to be the overbearing boyfriend, he simply waited until she returned it. At least she hadn't left him on 'seen', which meant she just hadn't checked her text messages for the last little while.
Right?
A sneeze left him, the fourth one that day. Someone was talking behind his back, he just knew it - his ears were burning.
He didn't have much to distract himself, as he often took the day off after human nights to recharge. Binging Netflix didn't help, nor did getting a workout in, his mind always flinging back to their text conversation from the night before. Kagome had to be upset, he wasn't an idiot; well, most of the time.
It had been luck and strategy for her to miss his human nights in the past, always making sure that he spent time with her a day or two before so she wouldn't suspect anything. Since they hadn't moved in together, he'd planned to keep his human nights from her for as long as possible. As a result, it meant keeping that he had human blood from her.
The argument after his father had left screwed up his schedule, making that human night wide open and unoccupied with no reason for him to not let her come over. He'd handled it poorly, he knew that, but he'd rather have Kagome angry at him for being dismissive and his typical brazen self than finding out the truth and leaving him for it.
It was well into the afternoon when he finally heard that familiar ping come from his phone. More frantically than he'd like to admit, he picked up his phone to see that Kagome had finally responded. Relief had washed over him, though it didn't last long as he opened the text and saw a response that left him anxious.
[SMS received from: Babygirl ❤️] - hey. can you come over? (seen ✔️)
No pet name. No response or explanation as to why she hadn't responded to him.
Fuck.
There was a split moment where he had decided he just wouldn't reply, but she knew he'd seen the message. Looking at the screen, he leaned forward into his typical stance of elbows on his knees. A minute, then two, trying to figure out how to respond.
He was overthinking it.
[SMS sending to: Babygirl ❤️] - sure. when? (seen ✔️)
[SMS received from: Babygirl ❤️] - are you free now? (seen ✔️)
[SMS sending to: Babygirl ❤️] - ya. i'll be over in 20 (seen ✔️)
[SMS received from: Babygirl ❤️] - ok. see u (seen ✔️)
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!
She was pissed.
The elevator ride had felt like the longest one of his life, leaning his head back against one of the walls and gently hitting it against said wall a couple times out of frustration. He didn't know what to expect when he reached Kagome's apartment; so, he prepared for the worst. Mentally preparing his defenses, Inuyasha closed his eyes and took in a cooling breath so, when the doors opened, he had calmed his pounding heart somewhat.
Stepping out to the hallway, he kept his hands in his jean pockets, having dressed simply with a pull over hoodie and a baseball cap turned backward on his head. By the time he reached her door, a hesitant hand reached out to turn the knob before pushing it open and taking a step inside.
The scent hit him like a tonne of bricks.
Anxiousness. Hurt. Anger.
"Kagome?" he called out, only to see her seated on the couch in front of the television. The sight of her had his heart jump into his throat at the realization of just how much he'd missed her. Even though he was sure that she was anything but happy to see him, Inuyasha couldn't help but slow his actions as he closed the door behind him.
"Hey," Kagome's voice was small, breathy and obviously hindered by some sort of lump in her throat. She was sure he could hear the pounding of her heart in her chest, body heat rising with anticipation for just how this discussion could go. Climbing to her feet, she made her way over to him but not coming close enough for him to touch her. Her body language mirrored her demeanour, defensive and closed off, with arms crossed over her chest.
That stance caused Inuyasha to keep his guard up, though simply shoved his hands back into his pockets. No warm welcome. No kiss in greeting. Not even a touch. It almost physically pained him to be without those things, but he knew exactly why she was acting the way she was. Or, at least, he thought he did.
Kagome could see the discomfort in his stance, amber showing the same anxiousness that hers did, but for very different reasons. Though the reasons were different, the result would end up the same.
"I-" Kagome let her gaze fall to the floor before lifting it and catching his gaze once again, "I'm going to give you one chance to tell me exactly what happened last night." There was finality in her words, telling him that there would be no ultimatum - that he had to tell her the truth.
Regardless, Inuyasha avoided the question completely, "I don't know what you're talkin' ab-"
"I know you're hanyou, Inuyasha. Just tell me what happened last night," she spat, each word holding clear articulation despite how quickly she'd said it. Perhaps she should have handled it with more tact, but her patience had been worn down to the bone. All of the secrets, shutting her out, deflecting her questions - it all boiled down to the fact that he didn't trust her. That was what hurt the most.
Inuyasha's eyes went wide at the word 'hanyou', feeling his entire body freeze in place as a chill ran up his spine. Out of every scenario he'd mentally prepared for, those words were not one of them.
Shock was the first thing to take hold of him, but it soon turned into curious anger, wide eyes narrowing as his brows furrowed and he pulled his hands from his pockets to cross his own arms across his chest. With his head tilted slightly, he took a step towards her, "Who told you?" His tone was low and dark, as if it held some sort of threat. He was gonna kill Miroku the next time he saw him.
"Sango," Kagome stated pointedly, "Why is it that she knew before I did? Hm?" Sarcasm dripped from her words, not intimidated by his stance even though she took a step back so he didn't get too close to her, "Why is it that your girlfriend's best friend knows before your actual girlfriend does?!" The volume of her voice began to rise, more force climbing behind each of her words as she leaned her torso towards him.
"Oh yeah? And how did that conversation start? Looks like you're still diggin' for dirt on me, aren't you Kagome?" He hissed, curling his lip at her to bare his teeth, enraged by the fact that she'd found out his secret.
"Fuck off with that!" Kagome rarely used that expletive outside of the bedroom, though this situation called for it. It was loud, high-pitched and with the intent to be heard. Arms uncrossed and were held straight-locked by her sides, fists clenched, "Don't play the fucking victim here!" To emphasize, she lifted one of her arms to point her index finger his way in an accusatory fashion.
That sudden outburst had Inuyasha's head flinch back slightly, though he still held his rather intimidating expression. The finger she pointed at him had him wanting to grab it, bite it or break it, finding it to be demeaning and reopening old wounds. How many times had he seen his ex do that to him?
"Why did I have to find this out through someone else ag-ain?! It's been six months!" she began to shout, voice cracking with the threat of angry tears, "Six fucking months and you-"
"Put that fuckin' finger down," he growled, low and extremely threateningly, though it was obvious Kagome didn't hear him as she continued.
"-kept something like this from me!" Kagome placed that hand on her hip then, unknowingly doing what he had told her to. Her opposite hand rested on her forehead as the threat of tears became too much, letting one fall as she swallowed back the others, "What else am I gonna end up finding out about you from other people?" She shrugged in the same position, defeated and listless, "Is Miroku going to tell me that you've been married before?" The hand on her forehead moved to gesture behind her, "Have a secret little family on the side?" she knew that couldn't be true, but she wanted to try and make a point, to show him the severity of keeping something like that from her.
"So, now you know!" he snapped in an effort to interrupt that ridiculous sentence, "What now? What now that you know what I am? Should I just walk out that fuckin' door?" His body turned to the side so he could use his whole arm to gesture to the door, "Wouldn't be the first time I've had to because someone found out they had a filthy half-breed in their house!"
It was Kagome's turn to flinch, eyes wide with shock and hurt at the meaning of his words. That hurt dug deep into the pit of her stomach when she came to understand he genuinely thought she would leave him, if she found out, "You think I would leave you, because you're hanyou?!"
"That's why you're so pissed isn't it? Finding out that you've been dating - that you've slept with -" It had to be why she was so angry, why she was attacking him the way she was. His brain had been conditioned to think that was the only logical explanation. Too many times had he been asked to get out of someone's home, a bar or someone's bed just because they found out what he was? Sure. It wasn't as bad now, but those wounds ran deep.
Kagome looked at him with complete offense and disbelief, mouth agape as she tried to wrap her head around it. Before he could finish his statement, she interjected, "I couldn't care less that you're a half-demon! What I'm pissed about is that you genuinely thought that I would! Shiori is one of my closest friends!"
"There's a big fuckin' difference between being friends with a hanyou and being in a relationship with one!" he shouted, trying to get her to understand his point of view; yes, friendship was one thing, but to be romantically involved with a half-demon was a whole other realm of stigma all together.
"Enlighten me then!" her arms settled back into a crossed position as her hip pushed out in an expectant stance. Yet, she still managed to move one of her hands to her face to quickly wipe away any evidence that she'd shed any tears before following it with a small sniffle.
He was positive she was more than aware of the differences; but if she wanted to be enlightened, he wasn't about to take that from her, "Being with me means that people will whisper and question your character - who you are! Means fuckin'-" he started to stammer as he turned himself, hands moving to gesture and emphasize the words he said, "People will judge you and shame you for it, Kagome! Alright?! People don't like the thought of half-demons reproducing, building families, havin' fuckin' lives!"
"Do you really think that low of me?! Do you really not trust me?" Kagome was leaning her body towards his again, uncrossing her arms to emphasize certain words by clapping her hands together in front of her, "After six months of trying so hard to earn it and showing you at every turn that you could, you still don't?!" She opened her arms wide at her sides, as if telling him she'd given what she could - that what he saw in front of him was what he needed to take. It needed to be good enough, "What more do I have to do to make you realize that you can trust me!? To realize I wouldn't care - that I don't care!" One of her arms remained out to the side, but the other came to the center of her chest, patting it for emphasis.
In all honesty, Kagome had been the first person he truly trusted since his mother died; though, perhaps that wasn't saying much, their argument demonstrated that fact. Regardless, he'd found solace in Kagome, a sense of calm and ease that he'd never gained with anyone else in his life. He was afraid of losing that and, in his attempt to avoid that, it became clear that he could lose her anyways.
Inuyasha remained quiet, watching Kagome practically panting from the amount of air she'd just used to make her points clear. Silence fell between them, their stares intense on one another as they waited for the other to speak.
As always, it was Kagome who broke the silence.
"I just don't understand why you think I would care that you were hanyou?! I want to know things about you, Inuyasha! I want to know how you grew up, what it was like!" Kagome's resolve was wearing thin, more tears lodged in her throat and causing her voice to crack as she continued, "I wanna know what brought you to the person you are now! I've told you so much about me! My life, my family! I've been vulnerable with you, because I trusted you! Now I feel like I don't even know who you are!"
"You wanna know, Kagome? You really wanna fuckin' know?!" A deep, spiteful wound in his chest had reopened, weeping with his inability to reel in the pure rage that swallowed his heart.
"Yes!" It was a scream - a pleading scream that was followed by a choked sob, "That's all I want!" Tears flowed freely then, hiccuping as her arms were held out in front of her, elbow bent and palms facing up as if begging him to fill them with something.
"You wanna know how my own dad kept me and my mom in the shadows because his wife wanted to kill me? How I was kept like a fuckin' skeleton in a closet?! How me and my mother jumped from hotel room to hotel room until she could finally get a job on her own? You wanna know why she couldn't get a job before?" Each word was venomous, as if trying to make Kagome experience the same viciousness of the world as he had.
Kagome stood frozen, eyes wet with tears as her heart began to ache at the realization that he'd endured so much and at such a young age, "Inuy-"
"No! You wanted to know, so I'm fuckin' telling you! That's what you wanted, right?!" A mocking twinge hung in his tone as he leaned forward, head tilted in expectation as his pupils shrunk to slits and his lip curled upward, "You wanted to know that my mom couldn't get a job because she had a bastard kid, a bastard hanyou kid! She struggled every fuckin' day of her life because of me, all because of what I was! What I am!" He brought his hand to his chest, hitting against it with a loud, hollow 'thud'.
Tears fell freely now, clutching both hands to her chest then as she continued to listen. Each word, each phrase, it broke her heart knowing he had to experience such prejudice. There had been a time where she thought herself being discriminated against for being with Koga - but it was nothing compared to what Inuyasha was telling her, "Inuyasha, I'm so -"
"And you wanna know what else?! Why not just keep fuckin' goin'?! 'Cause I got so much more! How about the countless times I've been kicked out of someone's house when they find out what I am? My last ex wouldn't fuckin' touch me unless it was a human night! That's what I was doin' last night, Kagome! Are you happy? Are fuckin' happy?!" The last expletive was violently emphasized by grabbing a rogue mug left on her kitchen island and whipped across the room, hitting the opposite wall and shattering while leaving a hole in the drywall.
The sudden act of aggression had Kagome gasp and flinch, taking a step back away from him before she hugged herself with eyes wide with fright. She'd never seen him in such a state, enraged and volatile.
Panting heavily, Inuyasha looked down at his hand, gaze leaving Kagome to look at his palm before clenching his fingers into a fist as he did the same clenching with his jaw. A flashback of every fight he'd had with his ex came rushing forward, something he'd tried so hard to avoid with Kagome. Immediate guilt coursed through him, remorse and shame building in his throat and clenching at his heart.
He refused to look up, refused to see what her face looked like after seeing him in such a hostile state. He didn't need to look at her, he could smell her fear. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that she could think he'd come after her next, put his hands on her; what she didn't know is that he never would - not in a million fucking years.
"I-" he began, letting those emotions of shame wash over him. He didn't deserve her; it's for the best, he kept telling himself, "I'm-" there was a crack in his voice then, holding back the threat of tears from flowing. He'd never told those details to anyone, not even Miroku or his ex, he kept them locked away within himself. Speaking them outloud unlocked something in him, a sense of relief that contradicted every other emotion he felt in that moment. He didn't know how to handle it - handle her and the way she made him feel.
"Inuyasha…" she tried to call out, a quiver to his name as she did so, "I didn't-" Without a word, he took a few steps back before turning and heading towards the door, "Inuyasha!" Kagome called somewhat desperately, uncrossing her arms and making wider, faster strides to try and stop him.
The scare from his act of aggression had subsided and replaced with the real fear of losing him. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that he would never lay a hand on her, in that aspect she trusted him fully. Reaching a hand out, she managed to grip his wrist, pulling him closer to her and peering up at him as he gave barely any retaliation or restraint in return, "Inuyasha, please…" she whimpered, throat still filled with tears as she looked up at him, "Look at me."
Keeping his bangs in front of his face, he didn't do as she asked, feeling burning in his eyes as he fought as hard as he could to not let anything fall. He wouldn't cry. He wouldn't fucking cry.
But he had no fight left in him.
Kagome could see them, two streaks of tears as his body tensed and his fists clenched at his sides. Maybe it was stupid for her to not just kick him out immediately and tell him to get the hell out of her life. But, after what he'd just confessed to her, Kagome just knew that was something he'd experienced throughout his entire life.
"I scared you…" she heard him say, through his own quivering voice, "I shouldn't've-I would never-"
She knew he'd never hurt her, he didn't need to finish that sentence. The fact that his voice told her he was remorseful, how he shed tears when she was sure he hadn't done that in god knows how long, "Look at me," she repeated, letting go of his wrist to cup his cheek and brush away his tears with her thumbs.
If anyone had the authority to tell him to do something, it was Kagome. He was wrapped around her finger too many times to count and, with everything up in the air, he wasn't about to deny her anything. Lifting his head, amber met mahogany and Kagome could see everything he didn't say - she saw the shame, the apology and the absolute self-loathing held there.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that happened to you," she breathed shakily as she swallowed and shook her head, "I'm not gonna kick you out. I'm not gonna let you leave."
"Kagome-" he tried to argue, only to have her continue.
"I don't care if you're hanyou. I don't," she stated, feeling him lift one hand to grip her wrist, holding onto it as if to ground himself. The tears didn't stop though, feeling the searing pain of an old wound torn open. It had been over two decades since he'd cried, the last time having been at his mother's funeral. He didn't cry. Ever.
"Your followers will though," he managed to croak, clearing his throat after and sniffling to help swallow back more tears in the hopes of not letting them fall. His words caused Kagome's eyes to widen in surprise. She hadn't even thought of that, not that it mattered to her. If she lost followers because of who she was with, then she didn't want them anyways.
It made her heart ache to know that he thought of every possible scenario how his existence in her life could hinder her, when all Kagome could think of was how he brought such a new aspect of happiness to her life, "Oh, babe…" she cooed, shaking her head as she ran her hands down to his neck, "I don't care about that, either."
"You should," he partially scolded, though there was hardly any foundation behind hit, "You could lose out on opportunities when people find out you're dating a half-br-"
"Don't. I don't wanna hear you call yourself that ever again," she rebuked, shaking her head as her grip tightened along his jawline, keeping his attention.
Both hands gripped her wrists then, letting his gaze fall to the ground as he closed his eyes and shook his head, "Fuck," he hissed through gritted teeth, "I don't deserve you, Kagome."
With his head hanging forward, Kagome took the opportunity to rest her forehead against his own, "You don't get to tell me what I deserve," she chided, using her hands on his jawline to lift his head so he could meet her gaze, "I'm still mad - I'm really, really fucking mad," she explained with a simple nod, "And it's…" she felt her throat clench with tears again, "It's gonna take me a while to fully trust you again; but, I want to give this a chance - us a chance."
Inuyasha cupped her cheeks then, hands framing her perfect feature as his brows furrowed and he felt his own eyes fill with the threat of tears, "I'm sorry, Kagome. I'm so fucking sorry."
"No more secrets," she stated, "No more keeping things from me," she emphasized, seeing Inuyasha give her a short nod of agreement, "I love you as a half-demon, Inuyasha. I don't care what blood you do or don't have." She knew exactly what she'd said, what the implications of it were but she hoped it made him realize how much he meant to her.
When his eyes went wide, Kagome knew he'd heard what she said, feeling him tense for a moment as those words flooded his brain. Love. It wasn't something he'd had given to him much and perhaps felt it even less, but with her it was completely undeniable, "Kagome," he breathed, voice ragged as his eyes softened, "Fuck, I love you."
The last time he'd said those words with true meaning had been years ago and it had never felt so right as it did with her.
Gently, she pulled his head closer to hers, pressing a soft, comforting kiss to his lips that he easily returned. Having convinced himself that he'd never taste her again, he savoured it and tried to let it linger but his emotions were running too high and he needed to pull away after a moment. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her flush against his before leaning his head down to dig into the crook of her neck.
The floodgates opened, tears streaming down his face openly as his shoulders shook from sobbing. Getting up on her tiptoes, she wrapped her arms around his neck and cradled the back of his head. Kagome took this moment seriously, knowing it was a milestone in their relationship; never did she think she'd see Inuyasha cry, but he felt safe enough with her to do so. It showed the trust, that vulnerability, that she hadn't been seeing.
They'd made it to the couch, Kagome on her back and half seated as Inuyasha wrapped his arms around her waist as he rested his head on her chest and his hips nestled between her legs. Idle touches ran over the crown of his head and up to his ears, rubbing them lovingly with the aim to soothe. The tears had stopped for both of them, Inuyasha finding comfort in the steady beat of her heart; he was so close to losing her and he didn't want to know that feeling again.
Self doubt was still prevalent in his mind; he'd meant what he said when it came to deserving her - he didn't. When it came to her, he was a selfish bastard but he would do anything and everything she needed to trust him again.
"Last night…" Kagome mused, taking her gaze off the TV to peer down at him, "You were human?" she asked, seeing him nod in confirmation.
"Every new moon, when the sun goes down," he explained, feeling liberated being able to speak openly with her about it. Continuing her idle touches, Kagome listened intently as those words left sleepy lips, "Didn't want you to know 'cause then you'd know what I was. Also didn't want you t'get your hopes up that I could stay that way…" he added openly, he knew it wouldn't fix the trust issue overnight, but it was a start.
Frowning, she thought back to how he'd mentioned that his ex preferred him on those nights, "You don't have these on those nights do you?" she asked, taking one ear in each hand and rubbing them soothingly. The sound that rumbled in his chest was close to a purr, shaking his head while also nuzzling into her chest a little bit more, "Then I don't want you to stay human," she teased, "I love these too much."
Kagome could hear him take in her scent, releasing the breath slowly. It had her taking the opportunity to press a little further, "Did your ex want you to become fully human?"
"Yeah," he replied bluntly, keeping his eyes closed but his voice holding a bit more wakefulness to it, "Spent the last year of our relationship tryin' t'find some sorta 'cure'. Wouldn't sleep with me unless it was on human nights." Anger bubbled in Kagome's gut at that, causing Inuyasha's lip to pull at the corner of his mouth, "Down, babe," he teased, able to smell the pure disapproval she felt.
"Well, it's just stupid," Kagome huffed with her brows furrowed as she looked down at him, "What does it matter? If she was with you, it should have been for all of you."
Inuyasha lifted his head at that, resting his chin on her chest and looking over her features, "Yeah, but then I wouldn't be with you, stupid."
"Hey! You're on this ice, buddy," she chided, glaring down at him before letting her expression soften enough to give a soft smile, "But I guess you're right," she continued, leaning forward to press a kiss to his forehead, causing Inuyasha to close his eyes and bask in the feel of it.
"Kagome," he started, watching as she sat back to meet his gaze, "Thank you," he stated affectionately, seeing a perplexed expression on his girlfriend's face.
"For what?" she asked genuinely.
"For not lettin' me leave."