As Expected He Was More Warped Than Most

It started off simple enough. There he was, sitting on his chair in the club room, one eye closed and having a hard time with his homework. Yukinoshita looked up from her book and saw what he was doing.

"Why is one of your eyes closed?" she asks with a raised eyebrow. Confusion in her eyes. Ever since the Kawasaki request from a few days ago she had been treating him differently than usual. Her snide remarks towards had lessened considerably and she no longer looked at him like his very presence was going to make her vomit. Granted that was a slight exaggeration but not really that far from from the truth. At least from his perspective anyway. Why this was happening he did not know. Not that Hachiman minded. Perhaps she was no longer constipated like he had always secretly thought her to be? Who knows.

"I think something got into my eye." Hachiman replied. The stinging sensation was irritating. "Not really sure how that happened but I'm waiting for it to stop stinging so much." He blinked a couple of times in an attempt to have the tears wash out the invader but to no avail. Yuigahama was with the rest of her clique. Something about making summer vacation plans together. Exams were literally less than a month away and they were planning for that? Raijuus really did have an odd sense of timing... Or absolutely no sense of prioritization.

"Let me take a look at it." Yukinoshita looks up. He raises an eyebrow then turns his chair to face her. She stands up, placing her book on the desk and walked up to him. His head tilts up, looking at her with one eye still closed. A couple of seconds later she freezes, as if just realizing what she had offered to do. Or more specifically, how she was going to do it. However she figured it would be too rude to back away now and sinks into the hole of her own making.

Both her hands rose up to his face, holding it gently. Her hands were warm and soft, as expected of a girl her age. Being no stranger to the touch of a woman Hachiman felt nothing. Any other normal high school student would probably be imagining marriage by now. That is assuming he manages to keep his wits together instead of focusing wholly on the warm sensation of a feminine touch. He sees her cheeks flushing red due to embarrassment. Using one hand to hold his head still and the other to keep his stinging eye open she leaned in to get a 'better look'.

Be it because of his fortune or whatever twisted god that had lead him to where he is today. Someone had decided to enter the room at this exact moment. However somehow the sliding door that had always made a loud sound when being opened did not make a single peep this time. A gasp had caught both of their attention. Yukinoshita looked up without letting go of Hachiman who saw her eyes widen in shock. The red in her cheeks fading rapidly.

"A-Ah! Sorry for intruding! I-uh... Mama wanted me home early so I just came by to tell you guys that I'll be going home now! See you guys later!" that was Yuigahamas' voice. She sounded distressed. Hachiman wondered if something happened at her home. The door slams shut.

"Yuigahama-san!" he heard Yukinoshita exclaim, reaching out to the now closed door. She did realize doing that wouldn't bring Yuigahama back right? Considering the rushed footsteps he heard after the door slammed shut Yuigahama was probably gone by now.

"What's wrong?" he asked Yukinoshita who was still looking at the door with a worried expression. Something he had yet see on her face.

"I-I think Yuigahama-san has misunderstood something." Yukinoshita frowns. Hachiman didn't really understand it himself. Did this mean he also misunderstand something too? "We will have to apologize to her in person for this."

We?

"We?" Hachimans' brows furrowed. 'What is this idiot going on about this time?'

"Yes." Yukinoshita sighed. Her answer failed to answer his question. Seconds pass in silence. "Do you know what will happen on June 18?"

'With the way she asked I wonder if she expects me to read her mind to answer.' Hachiman couldn't think of any national holidays or events on June 18th. "No but I'm sure if I look it up I can find over a dozen-."

"No you idiot." Yukinoshita swiftly stops his train of thought. "It's Yuigahama-sans' birthday. We should celebrate it."

"Are you sure it's on the 18th? That's less than a week away." Hachiman was a stranger to birthday celebrations. For he was never invited to any by his middle school classmates so he didn't known much about them. Maybe that explains why he didn't understand how or why he was included in a birthday celebration this time.

"Her email address has 618 in it." Yukinoshita replied. Now Hachiman was even more confused. He turns his eyes away from the girl standing in front of him and internally calculates how an email address had came into play with birthday dates. His eyes shift from one object to another. However it did not help with his dilemma.

"I-I assume its on June 18 based on her email address." Yukinoshita noticed his confused expression being replaced by an understanding one. Relief washed over her for some reason.

'She assumed at first glance. I should have known.' Hachiman wanted to facepalm. He was already expecting an unreasonably stupid 'solution' to their 'problem' that somehow sounded 'smart'.

"Are... you free this weekend?" that he wasn't expecting.

And that's what happened. Somehow Yukinoshita managed to convince him into coming out to the park where they would meet up and head to the mall in order to pick out gifts for Yuigahama. And again Hachiman wondered why he was involved in this. Nothing against Yuigahama but unlike his middle school days he no longer had the free time to attend such things. Not that he was invited to birthday parties back then either. But that's besides the point.

He checks the time again but Yukinoshita was no where in sight. But that was fine. He wasn't really looking forward to this day. He would rather spend it in the confines of his apartment with his precious futon. He nodded to himself. His mind yearned for the softness of his pillow. 'Sacrificing a weekend for this. How unfortunate.'

"Kotomine-san. I hope you weren't waiting too long." he turns to see Yukinoshita next to him. She was wearing a yellow and blue dress with her hair tied in two ponytails. She looked a little at unease for some reason.

"Give or take ten minutes." it wasn't really her fault he was early. He had taken a taxi to here after all. Mostly because he didn't want his new bicycle to get stolen this time. That was 35000 yen gone in one fell swoop. Over 60000 yen including the bicycle that was was stolen(his previous one was cheaper). 60000 yen that he would never get back. "Don't worry about it."

Her look of unease disappeared. As her lips ever so slightly curled up she looks at him. "Then let us depart for the mall."

The two left for the mall as Yukinoshita suggested. Many turned their heads towards them. A pang of envy hits him. But not because of the reason why they were glancing at Yukinoshita. Hachiman was not blind. He was well aware that Yukinoshita was what one would define as a 'beautiful' girl. Both of the Yukinoshita sisters were very 'beautiful' girls. Yet he couldn't quite feel any form of romantic attraction towards them. Why? Because they were still girls. Not women. One was emulating the behavior of one, near perfectly to the point where most would be easily fooled but in reality a child that was incapable of actually understanding. The other behaved like a girl on many occasions yet woman like when necessary. Something that many would find a desirable quality in both a partner and a friend. However she lacked the true experience of a woman for it was all a mask. It took him some thinking to realize it but in a sense, they were both very similar to each other even though they appeared to be complete opposites. Hachiman wondered if either of them were aware of that. Or if either of them would even accept it if it was made aware to them. A curious train of thought. One he would have to return to later.

They entered the mall. Yukinoshita was the first to break the silence.

"Where shall we head first?" Yukinoshita asked him. What made her think he would have a better idea at picking a gift for a girl was beyond him. He thinks for a moment.

"A toy store?" he says. Unsure if his answer would be satisfactory. Yukinoshita raised an eyebrow at him. He can only shrug in response. Yukinoshita sighs in disappointed.

'He's more useless at this than I thought he would be.' she thinks then lead the way.

Hachiman could only guess she was heading towards the toy store like he suggested. He followed her and watched as she picked up one toy after toy. None of them seem to catch her interest. She perked up, he did the same thinking she had finally found what she needed.

She picked up what appeared to be a panda plushy. It looked weird compared to the average panda. Hachiman remembers seeing it in the form of an advertisement on his phone when he was connected to the internet and watching anime. His mood just soured considerably. She played with it instead of looking at its quality like the rest of the toys he had seen her pick up. He took a few steps away from her and looked in another direction. She failed to notice that as she continued to marvel at the toy.

Seconds pass as his mind began to wander. This would be the second time Hachiman actually entered a place like this. His eyes move about, taking in the view. Many stores had changed since his last visit here. As expected he saw many people inside the large building. Minding their own things. He sees couples, families, window shopping. Talking to one another. Being normal.

"What are you doing?" he turns to see Yukinoshita giving him an annoyed glare. That confused him.

'I didn't do anything though.' he mentally scratched his head.

"Looking around." he replied. "Did you find anything?"

"Unfortunately not." she said even though she was carrying a small shopping bag he knew wasn't there before.

"You remember that we're here to buy a gift for Yuigahama and not ourselves right?" he asks her. Her glare returned.

"Yes I do. Do you?" hey, she was the one that bought a toy for herself. "If we are to purchase gifts then it's best for us to stick closer together and shop with both of our opinions... So stay close to me. If you so desire you may even consider this as a date." she looked away from him.

Wait... Waitwaitwait why did that feel familiar?

"This feels like a date, doesn't it?" *giggle*

... How the heck did he raise that flag with Yukinoshita? Nononono, that needs to be avoided at all costs.

"No, I'd really rather not." his reply was sudden and quick. It almost caught Yukinoshita off guard even. She coughed into a clenched fist and face flushed pink in embarrassment.

"It was merely a suggestion. Nevertheless let us continue." they exit the toy store and browsed many more. At one point Hachiman couldn't help but wonder if Yukinoshita actually thought this as a date. At one point Hachiman notices an older woman in her thirties walking towards him. His eyes follow her to the point where his head turned to see her form moving away when she was no longer in front of him. He didn't know the woman but she was quite beautiful. Especially in that- A sharp pain came from his side before he turned to see Yukinoshita looking forward with an annoyed scowl.

Either ways this day was going better than he had expected. Later they had lunch and even though they were finished they stayed in their booth a little longer to not upset their stomachs. Their halfway finished drinks were sitting on the table. They were sitting outside of the food court in one of its many seating arrangements.

"I still can't figure out what to buy for her." Yukinoshita was stumped. They had spent the better half of the day trying to find a gift for their classmate but she was not even close to finding anything for her.

"I believe the purpose of a gift is to show appreciation. However if that person is close to you then anything should suffice as long as your 'heart is in the right place.'" Hachiman shrugged. Half of that came from a book and the other came from an anime. "Or you could find something that would be useful to her. I just picked this thing up." he showed her a yellow phone strap with a golden brown dog on it. It was safely kept inside a transparent plastic casing.

"That's..." Yukinoshita didn't want to admit it but it looked really cute to her. But she would have preferred a cat instead of a dog.

"Right now this is all I can afford." he said. Putting the ornament back inside his pocket he sees her reaction turn for the worse. Again he had no idea what he had done to upset her. 'Maybe shes constipated again. Well it was good while it lasted.' he sighs visibly.

That seemed to get another reaction out of Yukinoshita. As she looks away and clears her throat. "Listen Kotomine-san. About your stolen bicycle."

Curious, Hachiman motioned her to continue. She starts to fidget, regretting her decision to bring up the topic of his stolen bicycle. She looks back into his eyes. With an emotion Hachiman could not name.

"That night when we went to Angel Ladder." She started. "When Yuigahama-san and I were leaving the hotel. I... may have noticed a suspicious person that was messing with a bicycle. Thinking back to it now. It may have been yours."

"Do you remember his face?" he asked her. He could keep an eye out for someone with those characteristics.

"It was too dark at that hour." Yukinoshita half lied. "I wasn't able to see much of anything. Only that he was missing an eye."

'A missing eye? She probably got scared when she saw him.' Hachiman figured as much. When confronted with a real conflict people like her either would either freeze up or instantly get themselves involved without realizing the true weight of the situation. "Don't worry about it. What's done is done."

Yukinoshita stared at him, gobsmacked at his reply. "B-But if I had done something back then you wouldn't have been inconvenienced so much!"

He didn't really understand why she suddenly cared so much about inconveniencing him. Had she already not done so with all the unnecessary work she had him do for the Service Club? Even though he had decided to join on his own will. "And if you had you might have gotten hurt by that person. Those sort of people would not think twice about hurting children." Crime may have been low in Chiba but it was not nonexistent. That aside, if she had actually gotten herself and even Yuigahama, her only 'friend' because of her actions, well...

She would break. And he didn't want that happening, especially if he was not there to witness it himself. No... She would break eventually. But not because of something so boring as getting hurt because of her foolishness. He wanted to see her break when she realizes that-

"But that doesn't change the fact that I failed." Yukinoshitas' palms clench into fists. "Maybe if I had just contacted the police then perhaps..."

"Yukinoshita." he cared none for her. But for the sake of his own amusement he lets her in on a secret she should be aware of. "This life is unfair. Bad things happen to people all the time. They can kick, scream and try to fight back all they want. And for the most part it will not be enough. At the end, all they can do is take it to the face hope they live long enough to see the next day." He waits for her response even though he didn't expect her to understand. With a family background like hers, she had options that people like him could only fantasize of.

He was proven wrong. She looks down at her lap, contemplating what he said. Her shoulders slumped as a look of understanding comes to her eyes. Her lips morphed into a frown.

"Oh my! If it isn't Hachiman-kun!" Both paused when they heard that voice. Yukinoshita was confused and Hachiman sighed visibly. He knew it was bound to happen eventually so there isn't anything to be surprised at. "Hey. You don't have to look that annoyed. It hurts you know?"

'Ha-Hachiman-kun?' Yukinoshitas' eyes widen in disbelief. "Nee-san. You know Kotomine-s-kun?"

Haruno stops, turning to Yukinoshita faster than she should have. Due to coming up to them from behind Yukinoshita she had not noticed her younger sister till now. Her eyes widen a little as she shifts her gaze from Yukinoshita to Hachiman. Her eyes narrowed a little then she smirked. Hachiman began to ask himself when he had jinxed this day. Haruno pulls a chair and sat next Hachiman. A little too close for Yukinoshitas' liking.

"Weeeell." Haruno trailed. "I ran him over with my car once." Yukinoshita could only stare with her mouth agape.

"You're making it sound like you almost killed me." Hachiman took a sip from his drink. "Your car just hit me while I was on my bicycle and I fell off. I was not injured."

"Are you kidding? You were like, sent flying away. I was really shocked to see you just walk it off you know!" Haruno laughs. Patting Hachimans' shoulder.

"Nee-san." Yukinoshita bit back an unladylike growl. "Can you please stop getting so close to him? Physical contact will give him weird ideas."

"Nownow. No need to be so testy. It's just harmless fun. Besides, I want him to get weird ideas~" Haruno winked. "How do you know him, Yukino-chan?"

"We are in the same grade at school." Yukinoshita replied with her eyes closed. As if stating a fact.

"Oh ho? Is that so?" Haruno raised an eyebrow then gave Hachiman a questioning look. Hachiman nods, confirming what Yukinoshita said. He knew she would be asking for more clearer details the next time she comes over.

"Hachiman-kun~" Haruno cooed and Yukinoshitas' left eyebrow twitched a little. "Why didn't you tell me you knew Yukino-chan?"

"Yes Kotomine-kun." Yukinoshita pitched in. "Why did you fail to inform me of your connections with my sister?"

Aside from Yukinoshita suddenly calling him 'kun' instead of 'san' for reasons he did not know. Hachiman did not understand where all this hostility was coming from. All directed towards him no less. "Neither of you asked."

"That's a bad excuse." Yukinoshita deadpanned. "If fact it's not an excuse at all."

"Not my problem." Hachiman could only shrug at them. Both Yukinoshita women knew there was no use trying to argue with him.

"So what are you two doing here?" Haruno asks. A playful smirk on her face. "Are you two on a date? Is this why you rejected me Hachiman-kun? Because you were interested in Yukino-chan?"

Fortunately Yukinoshita knew her sister better than most people and knew she was joking. "No Nee-san. We are here simply because we are picking out a gift for a friend at school."

"Friend you say?" Hachiman felt a headache incoming and closed his eyes to get calm himself. Due to his eyes being closed he did not notice Yukinoshita flinch when she heard Haruno say 'friend'. "Can I join you guys? Pleaaase Hachiman-kun." All three of them knew Yukinoshita would deny her request so she asked the person likely to agree.

"Pleasepleaseplease."

At this point she started to poke his cheek repeatedly. His headache started to grown. Yukinoshita herself was getting annoyed and wanted her sister to stop but says nothing.

"Can you please sto-" he pleads her to stop. But as he turned his head to her while she was still in the process of poking him. Neither expected what happened next. The silence that followed was deafening.

Yukinoshita watches them with wide eyes. Haruno starts to blush a little and Hachiman... well he was just grateful that the manicured and sharp fingernail on Harunos' index finger did not pierce a hole through his tongue or slice open his gums. At that moment he realized that some women were armed with a very dangerous weapon at all times.

So that's it. That's what Yuigahama misunderstood. Hachiman really didn't get why she would think that. Women really are weird.

"Don't worry. I have higher standards than that." Yukinoshita was the one to say that as she points a finger towards him. Wait, isn't that his line. "Besides, a person like him can't maintain a proper relationship with another human being." Oh yes, since last weekend Yukinoshita started taking more potshots at him than ever before.

"And that's why you're still a virgin. Your standards are too peculiar." he knew his comment was not necessary but his lips moved before he realized it. That's a first. Oh wait, he forgot to carry down the third 'x' four lines ago. Great, gotta do this again now.

His club mates look at him in disbelief and disgust? Oh come on, what is it this time?

"K-Kotomine-kun. You've had..." Yuigahama stutters out, pointing an accusing finger at him.

"Sex before? Yes. Haven't you?" he asked her. "Aren't you like a bitch or something?"

"Of course not!" that may have been said with more volume than necessary. Yuigahama turns red "And bitch?! Why would you think that?! I'll have you know I'm still a pure maiden!" Pure maiden? What is this? The middle ages?

"It seems you are every bit of a degenerate as I had originally thought you to be Kotomine-kun. Quite the let down honestly."

He had no idea what she was expecting from him. Or even why she was expecting anything from him. Maybe he raised another flag with her without knowing it again. Who knows. He left shortly after that, saying that he needed to leave early. They did not protest. Apparently still steaming from the earlier revelation they received. Once again, women are weird.

Unlocking his new bicycle he pedaled his way out of the schools premises. The grounds were almost empty. Few students were still there, as club hours were still ongoing. They ignore him and he does the same. The roads were nearly empty. That was fortunate. A limousine rolls by him. He remembers seeing Yukinoshita going into that one time.

"Kotomine-san!" a voice calls out to him. His pedaling stops and he hits the breaks. The tires stop spinning before he came to a stop. He turns to see who called out to him. A blob of black hair came up next to him, gasping for air. He blinks in confusion.

"Hikigaya Komachi?" he questions. She nods, still trying to catch her breath. "How can I help you?"

"I... I heard what happened from Taishi-kun." she began after her breathing stabilizes. "Thank you for that."

He nodded. Not knowing what else to do at that moment. "Anything else? I have to get to work."

She flinches when he said said. He didn't know why. "N-No. Kotomine-san. I just wanted to thank you for saving Keika. She's a really good girl..."

He nodded again. His right foot lands on the pedal.

"Wait!"

He eyes landed on the girl standing next to him who starts to fidget. "Yes?"

"Your hair..." she trailed as if unsure of what to say without making it sound weird or driving him off. ".. it's a little messy. I can... I can fix it for you if you want. It won't take long I swear!"

He ponders her request for a second. He had nothing to loose from it and technically he is still had a few minutes to spare before work. He nodded and leaned his head towards her. Because his head was lowered, he missed the surprised then happy expression on Komachis' face. He felt her much smaller hands run through his hair. Due to the angle she was standing she missed the small scar on the back of his head. Her hands stop suddenly even though they were still holding his hair between their fingers.

"Is something wrong?" he asked her. She stumbles back a little. His head leans back. What he sees surprises him. She looked like she was about to cry and again he didn't know. He begins to raise a hand towards her.

"No-Nothing!" she exclaimed. "Thank you for your time Kotomine-san!" Before he could utter a word out she ran away. He frowned at her reaction.

"Since she didn't mention it... Then maybe I was wrong from the beginning." he mutters. However... seeing her almost cry felt... odd.

Nearly half an hour later he neared a warehouse. With his school vest hidden inside his bag he entered it after safely locking his bike away at their relatively small parking lot. He wasn't the only one that came to work on a bicycle.

"Oh hey kid." he sees a man with a clipboard in his hand and his back towards him. He was one of the only few that ever noticed Hachiman coming in even though he never directly sees Hachiman coming in. An odd ability. But Hachiman figured the rest of the workers called him 'a ninja' for a reason. For now he was counting the large crates in front of him. "Go and get changed. I got a few crates at the north side that needs to be loaded in van number three."

"Understood, Kyo-san." Hachiman nodded at the man then turned to go deeper into the building where the changing room was. Takeshi sure was considerate when he renovated this place to make it more worker friendly. The man turned to take a glance at Hachimans' retreating form then snorted in amusement.

"Nice hairstyle! Suits you!" Hachiman heard the man yell and raised an eyebrow, unsure of what the older man meant. Had that Hikigaya Komachi kid 'fixed' his hair in a weird fashion? No matter. As long as it didn't effect him negatively.

He enters the changing room that they also used as a break room. There was a couple of people in there. One smoking a cigarette and another on his phone. He avoids going near the one that smoked and opened his locker. Placing his bag inside and pulling out his work cloths he glanced to his left. Something in the mirror had caught his attention. His eyes squint as he analyzes what he saw. He used an index finger to rub his chin. Well... He did look far less menacing this way. Also kind of ridiculous. His left arm rose up to his head then gently press the strands of hair now proudly facing upwards on the top of his head back down. His arm doesn't move for several seconds. And when it does...

The stands of hair came back up. As if it was meant to be there. It even moved like it had a mind of its own. Was it just him or did it resemble an ahoge? Isn't that an anime character feature?

-Chapter End-

This AN will be a long one. Unlike my other ANs I advise the um... concerned readers to read this more than the casual ones. Bear with me here... sigh...

Now then, a lot of you have pointed out that I make many grammar mistakes. And trust me, I am well aware. And I am more than sure that you guys have pointed out less than half of my mistakes(and that's if I'm lucky) in here, grammar. I do want to have them fixed one day when I get a proper beta reader for this. BUT that will probably not be happening until AFTER this fanfic is over. Ludicrous I know. But hear me out before throwing your pitchforks at me.

I write for fun. This is not a passion for me like many other writers in this and other websites. I didn't expect this to be good or even liked that well. Heck I did not expect to see anymore than 30 people even consider reading this passed the first four chapters! But if there is one thing I always try to be, its punctual. Some of you might have noticed that my updates are about 4-6 days apart(I take a break that lasts about 2 days, the updated day and the day after. Then 3-4 days to write on whatever spare time I have between my full time job, rest and other personal things. It may sound like a lot of time to write only a 4k long chapter but once again, I'm a bad writer. Did I mention I barely passed high school and flunked out of college by the end of third semester? Yea...). I try to keep to that schedule so that my laziness doesn't take over and I end up barely updating once a month or even two months. That's all it takes is, messing up one update and eventually spiral into the 'meh, I'm too tired now I could always do it later' phase. And I don't want that happening again. Not to mention the stress of waiting for the beta to get the draft, wait for him to finish fixing it and then return it for me to upload would weigh on me as well. That is if the beta isn't too busy with his own problems to actually log in and do all that stuff. And yes, NOW you can throw your pitchforks at me.

This doesn't mean I won't try to improve for myself though. Just that you guys shouldn't have your expectations set too high and get really mad when you're inevitably let down.

Now with that over,

For those of you that are fretting over me possibly abandoning this story in the future: Don't be. I have no intention of doing that and even IF that happens because of some god forsaken circumstances I swear to do everything in my power to let you all know how this fanfic is meant to end in the form of a 'summery'. It will be far less satisfying but at least there will be some form of closure. We've all read one of those fanfics that are weird but we still like to read it for some reason only to see it get abandoned without any prior warning. Does that make sense? Or maybe that's just me...