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This story will henceforth be beta read by Multi Fandom Geekerello, an amazing author, friend, and editor. Please go read his stories, they're beautiful, and he deserves it. Okay Let's start :)

Disclaimer: I do not own PJO

The thing about going through a traumatic experience is that some days, things are so impossibly great that you forget about it. All it really takes to bring it back is one bad one, though. One reminder, or dream, or sudden movement, or something that looks like something, and you're back in that place. It feels like, just as you're making progress, you backslide. It happens over, and over, and over again. Makes you wonder if things will ever change or if this is your permanent reality.

The thing that made me backslide was so small, so insignificant, I almost felt bad for even reacting to it. It was a movement of Luke's arm, while we were hanging out in my backyard, that brought it all back. Luke had come over since he lives just next door, saying we hadn't hung out in a while, and I agreed wholeheartedly. Things were pretty great for a while. My mom made us cupcakes, then ordered us a pizza and Luke told me about his newest plan to sway Natasha Romanov, otherwise known as the famous Black Widow, otherwise known as a fictional character portrayed by a thirty-six year old actress who has no idea who he is. I humored him.

Luke was on the JV Football team at Lakeview High School, and he asked if I could help him practice a bit. He said he was determined to make it to Varsity his Sophomore year, but he'd need a lot of help. I told him he needed help, but for more than just the old pigskin. He pushed me into a bush.

You'd think that would set me off, I mean, being manhandled by Luke is nowhere near what Gabe did to me, but it's very similar. However, that's not what set me off. It was later, when I had been sitting below the tree watching as Luke ran around in circles in frustration because he couldn't catch a ball to save his life, when he turned to me. His gaze was so angry, and though I knew it wasn't directed at me, I couldn't help it. A shadow painted his face, highlighting his scar and making it more pronounced. His blond hair almost white in the light, and his lips snarled cruelly. For a moment a wash of foreboding glumness settled over me, and I prepared myself for the blow, which is why I practically jumped out of my skin when he threw down the ball, and though it was no where near me, I cowered before him. He didn't really notice, he was back to ranting angrily, but the damage was done, as his voice entered my head.

I look down at my light pink sheets, sighing. It's so embarrassing, I told my mom to get the blue ones, but no. These were on sale. I mean, I get it, and these are probably softer than the blue ones I wanted anyways, but still. Of course, when she handed them to me I smiled and said thank you. I don't think I'd ever picture myself doing otherwise with my mom. She's everything.

I'm currently trying to figure out this math homework, but really, it just isn't computing. I don't understand it and I probably never will. I sigh, pushing it away.

"What are you doing?" I wince as I hear his voice by the door. He sounds pretty sober, but that's no indication of his crazed state of mind. "If you ignore the work, then you'll never get less stupid, boy."

"Like you care," I mumble under my breath. He didn't hear it, apparently, because he kept talking.

Stalking into the room, he holds himself as if he were a billionaire in front of a counsel of businessmen, not the poor drunk I have come to know him as. "Not that it would make a difference. You're still a fucking retard either way."

My blood boils. I hate when people use that term. It's offensive and crude, and I want to say something, but I know I can't. It astounds me how even a ten-year-old like me has more decency within him than this pig.

"Look at me," he said, grinning slightly as my eyes slowly meet his. I sit with my legs crossed, merely a few feet across from his looming body, and subconsciously shift inwards. "Pathetic," he spit, and I felt it slightly on my face as he maneuvered closer. "you can't even do that. Why your mother didn't just abort you is beyond me. Now look at her. Stranded in a small apartment in San Francisco, at a low paying job, because she feels the need to provide for you." He drops the smirk on his face, getting impossibly closer to me, and lowers his hoarse voice. "Must sting, knowing you're the reason why she works her days like a pig, knowing you're the reason she can't have the life she always wanted-"

I try lowering my gaze, but he grabs my chin harshly, making me wince. His smile is back as he utters his next words. "-and her nights like a slut with me."

Then I see his eyes harden and his lips snarl, before he slams my head into my headboard and leaves the room, leaving me dizzy for hours.

"Hey, man, you good?" I looked up and saw Luke's concerned gaze on me, making an effort to relax my fast-beating heart.

"Yeah," I croaked, and then fixed it when he stared at me more intently. "I'm fine. Let's shoot some hoops."

"We were playing football."

"Shut up, Luke."

~O~

So...um...haha...well...okay. Um, okay. So. Okay. I kinda-oh my goodness-I kissed Annabeth. A few months ago. I just-I don't know what I was thinking? I guess I wasn't, or if I was all logical thought left me when her lips pressed to mine except for one resounding, "Wheeee!"

Anyways. Yeah. Uh-huh. Okay. Is that-uh-is that settled? I think-okay. Yes. Okay. Goodbye.

~O~

"Can I ask you a question?" Luke asks me from his spot two feet away from the T.V. "Like, a weird and kind of personal one?"

"Sure, man, ask away." I drawl as I lazily throw a baseball from hand to hand. I was thinking of taking it up. I don't really like football, and basketball gets really confusing to me sometimes, so maybe if in high school I did swim and baseball I would still be kind of cool, right? Or-

"I think I'm in love with Annabeth." The baseball falls on my eye.

There were a few moments where all that was really heard out of either of us were screams as my eyeball hurt like absolute hell and Luke screamed in moral support and held onto my hand like I was dying, but then we sort of got things in order.

A few minutes later, I'm sitting on the counter in my kitchen with a bag of frozen peas pressed against my face, and a blubbering Luke next to me.

"Like, I'm sorry dude, but that was hilarious." He laughs to himself as he eats another cupcake. I glare at him, but he shrugs. "Totally worth it. Anyway, Annabeth."

My stomach clenches uncomfortably, but I nod for him to continue. "It's weird, man, I've known her for years but in the last two I've just seen her, and I think it might be good for me. With the whole thing with my dad and I trying to establish some sort of relationship before he croaks, it's been sort of stressful."

Luke likes to joke about it, but I know it was really hard for him to really open that door to his dad again. In fact, if it wasn't for Thalia, I don't think he would have. "How's that going by the way?"

He grimaces, swirling his finger in the leftover icing. "Dunno. Weird, I guess. I just-don't want to regret it? Not knowing him? Maybe-maybe it'll turn out okay. Right?"

He turns to me pleadingly, but I don't know. I have no idea how this will work out for him. "Maybe."

He sighs, but pushes past the topic. "And with Annabeth things are just so easy. Like, I can say anything. I can do anything. She-she makes me feel good about myself, and that's something I haven't had in a long time."

My jaw was clenching of it's own accord, so I push the peas further into my eye. "But she's dating Matthew."

Luke rolls his eyes. "Please. Like that's gonna last. You and her would make a better match."

For some reason, that makes me feel slightly better. I relinquish the peas. "According to Piper, I'm in love with her, too. Did you know that?" We both share a laugh at that. "Anyway, I think you're right. Matthew's alright, but they just-they don't click well. Not like other people like, I dunno, Thalia and her and- uh- me and-"

"Yeah, yeah I agree," he interrupts, passing me a cupcake and putting the peas back in the fridge. "I give it till the end of this year, then we'll be high school sweethearts and, who knows? Maybe down the line I'll get the chance to be a better father than my dad ever was."

I nod, wiping my hands with a napkin where I squeezed the cupcake too hard. "Yeah. Yeah, maybe. Just...do me a favor?'

He looks at me questioningly. "Take care of her. I'm serious, Luke, I need your word. I don't care how close we are, you hurt her I break you."

He tries to stifle his laugh as he looks at me, a full head shorter and a lot skinnier. "Sure, thing, kid." I glare at him, and he gets a little more serious. "I give you my word."

~O~

It wasn't until we were saying our goodbyes and I was closing the door behind Luke that I realized he never asked me a question. He sort of just confessed something to me. "Hey, Luke?"

He turns to me mid-laugh, the night sky causing shadows across his face. "Yeah?"

"You never really asked me a question." I state, and I watch his expression turn thoughtful for a moment.

"Yeah, I just-" he cuts himself off. "I was wondering if you felt the same."

"The same? About what?" I ask, subconsciously speaking lower.

He sighs, and makes his way down the steps of the house. "I was just wondering if you were in love with her too."

He doesn't look back at me as he makes his way towards his place, where inside a woman could be distantly heard screaming profanities at an empty house.

Okay. I won't always have time to update, and I apologize for that, but it's my senior year and there's college stuff and scholarships and decisions and school and a lot, so I'm just updating when I have time, honestly. I'm sorry, but that's the way it's going to have to be. I don't want to set a date that I don't know for sure I'll keep. Enjoy what I give, I guess, or not. Up to y'all I sort of use this to just let out stuff sometimes, and it helps, so I'm happy if y'all are happy, but I also can't stress myself out too much about this, okay? I don't need any more of it.

I love y'all, and if you need anything I try to check my PM's regularly, and I'm here for you guys. Stay strong, stay safe, stay young.

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